Brickbats

Brickbat: Eat It

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Soon after her son Carter was born, New York mom Elizabeth Dominguez was informed by staff at the Niagara Falls hospital she gave birth in that her urine test had come back positive for opiates. She was certain she hadn't used drugs. She and her husband concluded the poppy seed bagel she'd eaten earlier in the day caused a false positive. And even though her son tested negative for drugs, the hospital still called Child Protective Services, which blocked the baby from leaving the hospital with the parents until the agency concluded its investigation and determined the bagel did cause a false positive.

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  1. I’ll see your poppy link, and raise you.

    1. What the hell did I just see?

      1. I think her name is poppy.

    2. That’s a string raise.

    3. Goddamn you

  2. Very interesting. Anyway…

    POO* and Pudge
    American presidential press secretary and compensated liar Sarah “Fattie” Sanders defends her Fucking Moron employer and his idiotic tweets supporting actual murderer and slaver Kim Jong Un. They have a nice relationship, Sanders belched, and besides, they agree that Joe Biden is dumb.
    I am not making this up.
    https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2019/5/26/18640532/sarah-sanders-donald-trump-kim-jong-un-agree-biden

    *President Orange Obstruction

    1. One sign of incurable TDS is posting anti-Trump screeds in response to articles that have nothing to do with Trump.

      1. Trumpty Dumpty, He’s quite off-the-wall,
        Trumpty Dumpty won’t stay in His toilet stall
        He just goes ahead and takes His shits,
        Totally regardless of whereever He sits
        Whenever He simply, no way, can sleep,
        He Twits us His thoughts, they’re all SOOO deep!
        He simply must, He MUST, Twit us His bird,
        No matter the words, however absurd!
        He sits and snorts His coke with a spoon,
        Then He brazenly shoots us His moon!
        They say He’ll be impeached by June,
        Man, oh man, June cannot come too soon!
        So He sits and jiggles His balls,
        Then He Twitters upon the walls
        “Some come here to sit and think,
        Some come here to shit and stink
        But I come here to scratch my balls,
        And read the writings on the walls
        Here I sit, My cheeks a-flexin’
        Giving birth to another Texan!
        Here I sit, on the pooper,
        Giving birth to another state trooper!
        He who writes these lines of wit,
        Wraps His Trump in little balls,
        He who reads these lines of wit,
        Eats those loser’s balls of shit!”

      2. Well, as Longtobefree says below, Government-Almighty-mandated drug testing of new moms and babies is ONE of many reasons WHY med-care costs $$$$$$…

        MeThinks they should ALSO be brain-scanned for threateningly high levels of TDS!!! Them, NOT me, that is, ’cause I might fail the test…

        1. Come to think of it, now that Hit & Run is officially no more, let’s break out of the pattern of hitting and running. Just because there’s this “Latest” chronologic scroll doesn’t mean we have to follow it. Let’s start commenting on stories for at least a day or two after they’re posted, and turn this into a more commenter-defined forum. We can even set up our own subthreads and ignore what The Man lays out for us…but squat on his land anyway.

          1. Well OK then!

            Actually, Trump and poppy seeds and babies? They ARE all tied together! Trump’s mom ate a SHIT-TON of these seeds right smack before she birthed Trump!!! And SEE what we got for a POTUS?!?! So poppy seeds should be OUTLAWED, dammit!!! At the VERY least, moms-to-be could perhaps be put in cages, and DENIED ACCESS to the evil seeds!!!

            Also, the poppy-seed-eating mom should be forced to get Obama-care-mandated, taxpayer-funded drug addiction therapy from the likes of “Chris Bathum”, see http://www.malibutimes.com/news/article_62b16ee4-2246-11e8-b456-1f240b332af0.html ,
            Malibu ‘Rehab Mogul’ Guilty on 31 Criminal Counts
            Christopher Bathum’s rap sheet includes a long list of charges, from fraud to forcible rape.

            Your tax and health-insurance money at work!!!

            1. You’re a fucking idiot.

      3. We declared a weekend open thread Friday but nobody came.

      4. Hush. Most of the one-world socialists are whimpering in their safe spaces after the EU election results. Cuz, like, Nazis.

    2. And? Joe Biden is dumb, why are you crying ???? shreek?

  3. So one reason medical care is so expensive in the USA is automatic drug testing of new mothers? Was this a state or federal idea?

  4. Bringing a child into a home with so many carbs is just as bad.

    1. Besides, cream cheese production adds to global warming, and salmon farming is destroying the oceans.

  5. This same poppy seed false positive story comes out at least once a year. A know a women it happened to for a job screen. I’m guess it probably happens everyday.

  6. Meanwhile Perdue Pharma is getting their asses sued off.

    1. Yes, basically what is going on is, because some folks are so stupid (or love life so little) as to OD, the rest of us MUST live in pain! No painkillers allowed!

      This is Government Almighty at work… Some of us are irresponsible with guns, so no one may have guns. Etc. …

      Next on the hit parade: Since SOME mammals are irresponsible, and poop in public, ALL of us are soon going to be required to wear diapers at all times, when in public!

      1. It would not be a completely bad policy.

        1. Everyone’s experienced the discomfort of “holding it”. Actual physical pain inflicted purely by social convention. Diapers For All would eliminate the pain while letting us hang on to the convention.

        2. It would greatly reduce the need for public restrooms. Most businesses could do away with them entirely, passing on the savings to consumers through lower prices.

        3. Think about how much carbon fuel is burned by airliners hauling two or more full restrooms from city to city, about 100,000 flights per day. Get rid of the restrooms and you not only save the cost of hauling all that brushed nickel and water, you also get to pack in a couple more rows of passengers.

        4. As long as we don’t burn the used ones, we’d be sequestering HUGE amounts of carbon.

  7. POO

    1. Hi Shreek. You probably shouldn’t post kiddie porn or you’ll have to keep using socks like “blowhard woodchip”

  8. Motherhood mandates a drug test, but there shouldn’t be any hurdles involved in getting an abortion.

  9. Seinfeld had a poppy seed episode several decades ago.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYzuQr7YVYg

  10. From the linked article, “…poppy seeds, which are derived from the opium plant…” WTF? Poppy seeds are from poppies. A flower. The drug war, and specifically the war on opiates, is causing mass retardation.

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