Kamala Harris

Superheroes Are Everywhere

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California Sen. Kamala Harris kicked off her 2020 Democratic presidential campaign this January with the now-mandatory cliché-ridden memoir. But she also published a kid's book: Superheroes Are Everywhere (Philomel).

On a certain level, you have to admire the chutzpah it takes to put a picture of yourself on the cover of a book directly below the word superhero. Harris comes from a long tradition of superherodom, it seems, including her blood relations, her neighbors, and…her fellow lawyers. As the very short book drags on, one is tempted to side with young Dash in the classic Pixar superhero flick The Incredibles, who grumbles to his mom that if "everyone's special" then "no one is."

While the final page declares that the "heroes are…You!" the use of Harris' childhood photos and life timeline, and the fact that she appears on every page, make it pretty clear who the reader is meant to understand the real hero is.

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  1. Someone who wielded power over people to put them in prison (including many for drug offences), and decided that power is so much fun she moved on to the Senate and now wants the Presidency?

    I’d say she is superhero of sorts: a Super Hero In Training! (More commonly referred to by the acronym.)

    1. Government Almighty is my Super-Hero!

      Scienfoology Song? GAWD = Government Almighty’s Wrath Delivers

      Government loves me, This I know,
      For the Government tells me so,
      Little ones to GAWD belong,
      We are weak, but GAWD is strong!
      Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
      Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
      Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
      My Nannies tell me so!

      GAWD does love me, yes indeed,
      Keeps me safe, and gives me feed,
      Shelters me from bad drugs and weed,
      And gives me all that I might need!
      Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
      Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
      Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
      My Nannies tell me so!

      DEA, CIA, KGB,
      Our protectors, they will be,
      FBI, TSA, and FDA,
      With us, astride us, in every way!
      Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
      Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
      Yes, Guv-Mint loves me!
      My Nannies tell me so!

  2. Oh! Way to ruin the book, KMW! No spoiler alert. Just straight into plot and then Bam! Here’s the climax.

    1. Sounds more like the book has no plot, therefore, no spoiler possible.

      1. I actually hate the premise anyway. The continued dilution of anything that separates individuals as being in any way superior to another drives me crazy. My advice, attack the specifics of language at any opportunity.

  3. Superheroes Are Everywhere

    We sure are! Watch out, everybody; my wife says I can go out web-slinging tonight.

    1. While out web-slinging, PLEASE beware! Watch OUT for ambushes laid out for you, and the snot-slinging “Booger Bean” powers of your arch-nemesis, Snooter Man!

  4. “Hero” among the most overused adjectives in the English language, perhaps a new word is needed and its use restricted to describe those who are actually “heroic.”

    1. Use of the prefix “super” should be an indication that it’s not to be taken seriously.

  5. Does this book advise children to get into politics through prostitution, the way she did?

    -jcr

    1. Are we pro women’s rights or against it in this case? I can’t keep up.

  6. I looked at the preview on Amazon, still puking.

  7. I assume the publisher will report sales as a contribution in kind to her campaign?

  8. Anytime a Democrat candidate does something absurd like this just imagine if Trump did it and if you would think it was deranged and egomaniacal, because it is exactly the same.

    1. Super heroes need super villains.

    2. Exactly.
      Trump is somehow uniquely narcissistic, egomaniacal, and selfish – but a woman who writes a book about herself as a superhero is an altruist, right?

      1. Epoxy all over the both of their houses!

        Ooops, I mean, a pox on both of their houses!

  9. Does this book close with the warning, “and make sure you go to school every day or I’ll throw mommy and daddy in jail! Now, back to me me me me me!”

  10. As the very short book drags on…

    Heh

  11. Kalamazoo Harris once killed a bear with her bare hands to save a Girl Scout troop.

    You should have seen that bear when it was over. Sad.

  12. Well, she did blow Willie Brown for a job. That requires…something.

  13. Biden has those inescapable Mr fantastic arms that allow no women to escape his rapey grasp

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