Brickbats

Brickbat: Please, Sir, I Want Some More

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Condiment packets
Elena Elisseeva / Dreamstime.com

New York's Eastport-South Manor Central School District has sent a letter to parents telling them the days of unlimited condiments are over. Students will be limited to one or two packets of ketchup, depending on the meal they get. Mayonnaise and mustard will also be rationed. School officials say they are trying to limit the amount of salt and sugar students eat, and they fear failing to do so will jeopardize state funding.

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  1. I can’t believe that they would do this with my favorite vegetable!

  2. This is an ingenious plan to end over weight children at this school. With out the extra condiments they can taste the food.

    1. Without the extra condiments, the kids will finally realize that what the cafeteria has been serving them isn’t food.

  3. I picture these poor, half-starved lads eating the disgusting, thin gruel served to them while they keep dreaming of:

    Food, glorious food!
    Don’t care what it looks like.
    Burnt, underdone, crude
    Don’t care what the cook’s like.

  4. Nobody needs 23 choices of ketchup packets….

  5. How can you have any mayonnaise if you don’t eat yer broccoli?!?!

  6. Fortunately, there’s a simple solution. Instead of relying on the cafeteria for condiments, pack some into a lunch bag for the kid (even if the kid buys the rest of the meal from the school cafeteria). This is a good example:

    https://tinyurl.com/y7exfuj6

  7. I thought Ronnie R declared ketchup to be a vegetable

    1. Best saying on tomatoes:
      Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting tomato in a fruit salad.

  8. Black market in ketchup packets in 3,2,1

    1. I can see it now — little Johnny expelled from school because he was running an illicit ketchup-smuggling ring, supplying extra packets of the tomato goodness to his fellow students for 25 cents each. And the school is considering racketeering charges.

  9. I suspect there will be a corresponding ban on bringing condiments from home.
    Besides the green one does not need anything added.

    1. They’d have to ban bag lunches entirely to make it stick, which would cause the kids who fall into the gap between qualifying for free lunch and being able to afford to buy lunch without any lunch at all.

  10. “The example of Minneapolis suggests that this relationship works the other way, that businesses stock products based on what their customers want.” This is it exactly. I run the IT department for a small grocery store chain, and at the end of each quarter we run the numbers on what sells and what doesn’t. If it doesn’t sell, it gets dropped out of inventory. It’s dead money tied up sitting on the shelf. Government probably means well, but they have just clueless.
    BrdU Cell Proliferation Assay

  11. “The example of Minneapolis suggests that this relationship works the other way, that businesses stock products based on what their customers want.” This is it exactly. I run the IT department for a small grocery store chain, and at the end of each quarter we run the numbers on what sells and what doesn’t. If it doesn’t sell, it gets dropped out of inventory. It’s dead money tied up sitting on the shelf. Government probably means well, but they have just clueless.
    BrdU Cell Proliferation Assay

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