Virginia Pot Dealer Sends Worst 'U Up?' Text Ever

Police were quick to pounce.


Fairfax County Police Department/Facebook

The Fairfax County Police Department (FCPD) posted a note on Facebook yesterday about a man who texted one of their officers "offering to sell them marijuana."

"HMU if you wanna get together I've got some nice ins we can burn," the text message read. The unidentified suspect obviously had the wrong number, but that didn't stop police from pursuing the case further.

After setting up a meeting with the suspect, narcotics detectives were able to make an arrest, having discovered "more than a pound of marijuana" in the alleged dealer's possession, according to the Facebook post. Authorities searched his home and found not only another pound of marijuana, but also "suspected Schedule I Narcotics, a firearm, and an undisclosed amount of money." The suspect was charged with possession with intent to distribute.

Social media fame aside, it's not clear what good came out of this story. A man seems to have made a dumb mistake, and police were quick to pounce. Had he been trafficking human beings instead of marijuana, perhaps the cops' enthusiasm would be justified. But as it stands, all they really did was keep two pounds of weed off the street.

Marijuana is legal for recreational use in nearby D.C, as well as in nine states, so this man might not have even gotten in trouble in some places in the U.S.

It's not the first time the FCPD has posted stories like this to its Facebook page—they seem to enjoy bragging about catching the dumbest and most unlucky lawbreakers. In March, the department released in-car footage of a man who, while being chased by police, jumped out of his car but forgot to put it in park. As a result, he was run over by his own vehicle:

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  1. Dummies and cel phones. Lolz

  2. I’m making $80 an hour working from home. I was shocked when my neighbour told me she was averaging $120 but I see how it works now. I feel so much freedom now that I’m my own boss. This is what I do…

  3. The cutesy stuff from police departments like that stranger calls graphic are always vomit inducing.

    1. vomit inducing.

      Not even a little bit nauseous.

      1. Barely even cringe inducing.

  4. Social media fame aside, it’s not clear what good came out of this story.

    If police occupied all their time with suspects who texted them advertising illegal wares and jumping out of and getting run over by their own cars, I’d be cool with it. It beats shooting innocent men on their knees and giving people nickel rides any day of the week.

    1. And thank god, the streets will be safer with one less dope fiend slinging herb to impressionable teens. They might have enjoyed themselves, or worse, got infected with the giggles while eating TOO MUCH candy.

      1. Why you wanna give the kids diabeetus, Microg?

      2. And thank god, the streets will be safer with one less dope fiend slinging herb to impressionable teens.

        I agree that nobody can dress or act like they were asking for it, but when you leave your doors unlocked and text the police and they show up and steal all your shit, you don’t get to cry theft, alright?

  5. “Hey, man–wanna cop some weed?”

    What an unfortunate choice of words.

  6. Get Congress to repeal the Controlled Substances Act as unconstitutional or this will continue to happen.

    Its great that some states have made weed partially legal but no state has made weed 100% legal. There are restrictions on number of plants you can have, amount you can have on you, etc etc.

    The US and state government have zero constitutional authority to ban any product or service. They need to alter their constitutions to do so. See 18th and 21st Amendments of the US Constitution.

    1. What about murder for hire?

  7. Yeah, but that guy getting run over by his own car was pretty funny.

  8. Drug warriors (narcs) are among the lowest forms of life. Every drug warrior should be shunned by decent people and required to try to find a decent livelihood. If your child became a drug warrior, you failed as a parent. If you are drug warrior, try to redeem yourself while there is still time by finding better work, such as televangelism, selling shoddy merchandise to the elderly, or peddling phony medical devices.

    ‘Pot dealer’ is another way of describing a businessperson.

    1. Drug warriors (narcs) are among the lowest forms of life.

      The police involved in this case aren’t necessarily narcotics officers and the drugs are a bit incidental. I don’t agree with the narcotics being illegal any more than I agree with cigarette taxes, but if the guy texted the PD that he’s got some tax-free cigarettes or inviting them to watch his ginormous flat screen TV that fell off the back of a truck, he’s earned his fines/arrest and the screw up is humorous.

      Just as if your kid texted you they were thinking about becoming a police officer by accident.

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