Reason Roundup

Selfie-Taking Monkey Loses Federal Copyright Case: Reason Roundup

Plus: Marijuana & money-laundering policies thwart U.S. bankers and Philly sees serious payoff from criminal justice reforms.


Kniel Synnatzschke/Westend61 GmbH/Newscom

Monkey photographer loses federal copyright case. Good news, fellow humans: We won't have to pay licensing fees to any damn dirty apes anytime soon. Nor to any animals with an artistic streak. The U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit just held that copyright infringement claims can only be brought on behalf of humans.

The case was brought by the provocateurs at People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). The group sued on behalf of a crested macaque monkey who had taken a series of selfies in 2011. The photos were published by wildlife photographer David Slate (whose phone the monkey had used to express itself), in what PETA claimed was an infringement on monkey Naruto's intellectual property rights.

"Naruto should be considered the author and copyright owner, and he shouldn't be treated any differently from any other creator simply because he happens to not be human," said PETA lawyer Jeff Kerr.

But in its April 23 decision, the three-judge circuit court panel dismissed PETA's claim, upholding a lower court ruling. The panel found "that the animal had constitutional standing but lacked statutory standing to claim copyright infringement of photographs known as the 'Monkey Selfies.'" According to the ruling, "the monkey lacked statutory standing because the Copyright Act does not expressly authorize animals to file copyright infringement suits."


Major success for criminal justice reforms in Philly. Recent reform in Philadelphia has cut the city's jail population by a third—with no increase in crime. In July 2015, there were 8,082 people imprisoned in Philly jails; last week, it was 5,394 people. Mayor Jim Kenney credits two changes in particular: bail reform and a new approach to drug-related offenses.

The city implemented an "early bail review" system after five days for those in jail with bonds of under $50,000, reports The Washington Post. "Kenney said 84 percent of those reviewed were released within five days, and more than 92 percent had shown up for their subsequent hearings."

A program to divert drug addicts to treatment rather than jail has also been successful. Since December, "no one who's been in the program has been rearrested," said the mayor at a press conference, promising to close one of the city's nearly century-old jails by 2020. "Reaching the point where we can shutter this facility once and for all, without needing to build a new prison, this is a milestone."


Feds crippling bankers with nonsensical marijuana policy. In the U.S., banks are supposed to file a report with the federal government anytime anyone deposits money "derived from illegal activity." As Brookings fellow Aaron Klein points out, this means that "banks must also file a report when a state government deposits tax revenue paid by marijuana firms into the state's bank account. The result is banks telling Uncle Sam that Oregon is a possible money launderer," which is absurd. From Klein:

Not only does it not make sense to consider a state government a money launderer, there is no reason for banks to be the ones reporting to the U.S. Treasury that Colorado, Washington, Oregon, Alaska, California, Massachusetts, Maine and Nevada are profiting from the sale of marijuana. Voters and state legislators did not exactly make it a secret this was their plan.

Going down this rabbit hole, regulations technically require banks to report every transaction that involves funds derived illegally. If Oregon did not create a separate account for its marijuana-related revenue, then every single check the state writes may require a separate suspicious activity report. There is no value added for banks to provide daily reports on each transaction made by state-licensed marijuana or cannabis firms. But imagine if you were a bank compliance officer, fearful of potential fines and criminal charges for failing to file, and looking over at Attorney General Jeff Sessions. Even if there is no logical reason to continually dump paperwork and filings in the government's lap, it may be the rational thing to do.

The result is bad news for everyone except the bad guys that these reports are meant to catch. As banks continue to file more suspicious activity reports federal law enforcement officials have more files to review. Federal investigators are looking for needles in the haystack, with banks continuing to dump more hay.


Looking Ahead: President Trump's travel ban on people from certain mostly majority-Muslim countries goes before the Supreme Court on Wednesday…. Rand Paul won't put up a fight about the confirmation of Mike Pompeo as Secretary of State.

NEXT: British Politicians Declare War on Knives

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  1. On time is the best time. AND I’M NOT JOKING.

    1. Hello.

  2. Rand Paul won’t put up a fight about the confirmation of Mike Pompeo as Secretary of State.


    1. Rumor has it that Mike Pompeo threatened to knock him off his lawn mower if he didn’t “cooperate”

      1. Worse – he was going to have him extraordinarily rendered to a black site HOA outside Poughkeepsie where they don’t allow pumpkins AT ALL.

        1. “Rand Paul won’t put up a fight”

          I mean let’s face it, his last fight didn’t go so well either.

  3. The European Union wants to crack down further?and quickly?on “fake news.”

    They should nationalize the news.

    1. Purging the news of anything critical of the government has totally not been tried before. I can’t wait to see where it leads!

    2. This!!

      And they can call their newly nationalized news “Pravda,” which means “truth” in Russian!

  4. I think this might be the Capitals’ year!

    1. lol.


      1. Should be an excellent series.

        Some of the best hockey games of the last ten years were the Pens v. the Caps, and this is what–the fourth year in a row that they’ve met in the playoffs?

        I swear, if the Caps had beat the Pens in any of the last three . . . we wouldn’t still be hunting for our first Stanley Cup.

        And the window is closing.

      2. The Caps always lose to them. But you never know. The deafening silence of the giant mouth that is Western PA that would result from a Pittsburgh loss would be lovely.

        1. The Pirates already handle that for us.

          1. What annoys me about Pittsburgh is how the NHL and the NFL have this weird love affair with the franchises there. No team in history has ever been the beneficiary of more bad calls than the Steelers. The officiating was so one-sided in the Super Bowl with the Seahawks back in the 00s, the NFL had to send the head of refereeing out to Seattle to basically apologize to them. There was the famous incomplete call against Oilers in the 1980 AFC Championship game that gave us instant replay. There was the “Immaculate Reception” that was both an illegal touching and almost certainly hit the ground. The list goes on and on. And the calls always benefited the Steelers. Name one infamous bad call that went against the Steelers? There has never been one that I can think of. Even the freaking Cowboys get screwed once in a great while. But never the Steelers.

            And then there is the fact that the NHL basically fixed the draft to ensure Crosby went to the Penguins. I just don’t get it.

            1. Jesse James catch?

              Agree 1000% on taking away Mike Refro’s TD catch in the 1979 AFC championship game.

              Immaculate reception? George Atkinson, my favorite NFL Top Ten contributor, calls it the “Immaculate Deception.”

              Since the tuck rule, I have never seen a franchise be the beneficiary of so many bad and non-calls than the Patriots. The non-calls would include the approach of the officials with regard to allowing the inferior Patriots defense to clutch, grab, hold, and pass interfere against the Rams in SB 36 and against the Colts in the 2003 AFC championship game.

            2. Name one infamous bad call that went against the Steelers?


              1. That was not a “bad call”. It was the right interpretation of the rule as it was written. And though the rule was idiotic, it was applied evenly. The Steelers are hardly the only team that had obvious catches ruled incomplete because of that rule.

                Beyond that, sorry but no call in a regular season game can rightfully be called “infamous”. Only a Steeler fan could claim with a straight face that getting screwed in a regular season game somehow makes up for the endless list of times the refs screwed Steelers’ opponents in playoff games and Super Bowls.

                1. He had control as it broke the plane. Nothing after that matters. It’s like saying spiking the ball in celebration negates the touchdown.

                  I refuse to further re-litigate this.

                  1. He had control as it broke the plane. Nothing after that matters.

                    Not according to the rule as it then was. He had to have control and then “go to ground” or “make a football move” to complete the catch. The rule didn’t say “or break the plane of the goalline”. It makes no sense. But that was the rule.

                2. John, I have no truck for the Steelers. Yes, you are right that Jesse James was not the only player who seemingly made a catch only to have it ruled incomplete, see Dez Bryant and Calvin Johnson.

                  As for whether it was a catch under the rules, there was enough evidence to sustain the initial call. IOW, the evidence was not indisputable that he did not turn and lunge and “make a football move.”

                  Same with the tuck rule. The argument in favor has always been, the rule was idiotic but correctly applied. No, even within the framework of the rule, Brady fumbled.

                  1. The guy had it until the ball hit the ground and he lost it. That makes it an incomplete under the rule as it then was.

            3. ” Name one infamous bad call that went against the Steelers?”

              Polamalu’s overturned interception of Peyton Manning in the playoff game against the colts in 05. That call stands out to me as being one of the worst calls of all time.

              1. Good call. Forgot about that and I was rooting for the Colts. I distinctly remember Joey Porter barking about it – after the game.

            4. Even the freaking Cowboys get screwed once in a great while.

              There was about a 4 or 5 game stretch this past season where the Cowboy’s opponents weren’t called for a single holding penalty. That should be physically impossible, especially since “there’s holding on every play” or so some people say. Thing is, it just so happened to occur when Ezekiel Elliott was appealing his suspension and Jerry Jones was threatening to sue over Goodell’s contract extension. As soon as Elliott started his suspension and “Jerruh” dropped his threatened lawsuit, lo and behold, they started getting some holding calls again. Funny that.

              1. Cynical Asshole, next thing you are going to tell me that it wasn’t just a coincidence last year when none of the four teams in the conference finals had a player who protested the anthem. That it was just one of those things that the NFL assigned one of the notoriously worst refs in the league who was calling his last game to the Kansas City Tennessee playoff game and that very same ref made several very bad calls, including one that would have given the Chiefs a fumble and prevented a Tenessee touchdown, thus ensuring that the Patriots didn’t have to play a Chiefs team that they didn’t match up with very well and in doing so ensuring no team with a player who protested the anthem made it to the conference finals and certainly not the Super Bowl.

        2. “The Caps always lose to them.”

          A lot of that is about players from the Canadian junior league vs. players that come from Europe and Russia.

          There are exceptions, Alex Ovechkin being one and, say, Nicklas Lidstrom, being another–but the general rule? To win in the playoffs (where the teams are playing each other seven times in a row), you have to play the style of hockey they teach in the Canadian junior leagues. European/Russian finesse and speed won’t do it (part of it is that they play on bigger ice over there, so the passing lanes are wide open and finesse and speed dominate)

          The teams that the Caps have lost to have been when the Caps were chock full of Russians and Europeans, and the Pens were often stocked with third and fourth line guys who maybe didn’t shine during the regular season. But it in a war of attrition–seven games in a row–those fucking Canadians will wear you down. They don’t teach that shit in Moscow. They don’t teach that shit in Sweden. They don’t teach that shit in American college programs as much either.

          You gotta go to Canada, and you gotta recruit those guys for just that reason. They may not be pretty during drills. They may not shine during the regular season. Same match up every game for seven games? Give me a team full of Canadians.

          1. Perhaps, but the Penguins were known for the last two playoff runs for their skill and speed. And their depth. (Where else is Phil Kessel a third-liner?) Opponents seemed to think they could hit their way past Pittsburgh. It didn’t work out. It may yet.

          2. American players tend to fall on the finesse side of the equation but I would expand it to North American players. Canadian just play an all-around, fully integrated style of play: They grind, skate, hit – they do it all.

            The Caps can do it this year but the Pens are just a machine at the is point.

            I agree about the Steelers. Lot of calls over the yeas; more than their share. The Patriots is more of a ‘good to be lucky, lucky to be good’ kind of thing. Maybe the Steelers too but it just feels like they get the call.

            Like Real Madrid and Barcelona in soccer. It’s absurd what they get away with. Even in the second leg against Juventus, Real got a shocking call in their favor. They were going to absolutely get eliminated until the ref decided the outcome. As a long time soccer fan, I’ve grown tired of it.

            And Ronaldo acted like a dink in that game.

            1. I defer to your knowledge of hockey. But having followed the Capitals as a casual fan, it seems to me that the Capitol teams in the past always lost to the “hot goalie” and ended up losing long, low scoring series that seemed to have every game go into overtime.

              This year feels different. First, there seems to be more scoring in this year’s playoffs. You just are not seeing the 1-0 or 2-1 overtime games that you have seen in the past. The Columbus series had all of the hallmarks of the kind of series the Capitals normally lose. Columbus is a deep team that grinds it out and finds ways to win. And indeed, that is what the first two games looked like. But then the Capitals started scoring and opened the game up, especially with their third and fourth lines.

              Pittsburgh looks like a machine but the Flyers were not that good and they still won two games off of them. The Caps have a better chance this year than any other year. The Penguins’ are not just going to walk over the Caps. And if it is a close series, the Caps might get a break or two and win. Remember, God doesn’t care who wins these games and there is no such thing as a curse. So, at some point every team gets lucky if they play long enough.

              1. That time we lost to Halak when he was with the Habs was upsetting. Almost certainly lead to the end of the Boudreau era. They completely changed their philosophy because of a hot goalie? That was a bad idea.

                As far as the Pens being hot right now, that’s in the past. That was last week!

                I worry about what happens at the end of the series if the Caps open up with a loss at home. Otherwise, I don’t see anybody’s hot streak being an issue. This series will go to seven games.

                Is Malkin even playing?

                1. The year they lost to the Rangers in 7 was another example of losing to the “hot goalie”. That was the year Pittsburgh gagged against the Rangers and gave the Caps their chance.

                2. I mean 2015. People forget the Rangers have been just as much of a tormenter of the Caps as the Pens. The Pens fans just talk more so no one notices.

              2. The Caps indeed beat a ‘Tortorella’ type team and were impressive. They beat one of the world’s best goalies in Bobrovsky too. It’s now or never of this group against the Pens. I agree – they can do it as the Pens can be vulnerable. Pittsburgh plays a hight risk-reward type of game and if the Caps stay solid on defense and don’t take penalties, they have a real shot.

            2. I don’t even watch the biggest teams anymore – it’s a waste of time. Plus Ronaldo is a preening asshole.

              1. The flopping has pretty much ruined soccer.

    2. It will literally break that franchise if they can’t get past the semi-finals yet another year.

    3. Alex Ovechkin, star of the Washington (DC) Capitals…

      If there was ever any doubt there was Russian meddling, there shouldn’t have been.

    4. Said every Caps fan every year for the last decade.

      1. Decade?

        Granddaddy took me to my first game back in the inaugural–back in the ’70s. Mom was in the hospital having my sister, and the ol’ timer was taking care of me. I was just a little kid. I’d recently had my heart broken to learn a) dinosaurs didn’t exist anymore, and b) pirates didn’t exist anymore either–so I couldn’t grow up to be one. Watching those games restored my faith in the future of humanity.

        I saw team fights that resulted in so many penalties, the last five minutes of the game was played 1 on 1. I saw fights that were so bad, the fans were pelting players on the ice with everything that wasn’t nailed down, and I saw the players climb up over the glass to go after the fans. The ice became a magical place, where all my dreams could come true. I got to be pretty good for a prep school kid from Maryland.

        Unfortunately, that wasn’t very good.

        Punk rock saved my life.

        Anyway, the last ten years is nothing. I grew up rooting for Dennis Maruk. I think he was all of 5’7 on skates. One year, he had 60 goals, 136 points, and 128 penalty minutes. I’ve been waiting for a cup since before then.

        And, anyway, it should go seven games, they’ll all be fun to watch.

    5. Baseball is boring.

      1. They’re talking about the Pens and the Caps, dummy. Those aren’t baseball teams, they’re soccer teams.

        1. I knew it! Just like all the other cosmotarians!

        2. I have pens all over my desk and they all have their caps on. Nobody likes dry ink.

    6. That may be difficult if the refs keep calling a penalty on the other team every time Crosby trips over his laces.

  5. A new book by journalist Amy Chozick details the extent of Hillary Clinton’s icy relationship with the press.

    She loves them enough to want to keep them safe.

    1. “Icy relationship” in this case meaning she was pissed that they were only openly supporting her candidacy for President rather than demanding that she be declared Empress for Life in their daily editorials.

  6. Bernie Sanders has a job for everyone!

    What socialist doesn’t?

    1. The camps offer lots of fresh air, hard work, a healthy lifestyle, and a chance for undesirables to be re-educated.

      1. Sometimes I feel like I was taught wrong.

    2. Someone has to bury the bodies of dissidents!

  7. It had been a largely civil debate?at least compared to lawsuits and loud protests over similar issues in cities such as New York and Los Angeles?until last week.

    It’s always civil until one side completely refuses to acquiesce property rights.

  8. San Francisco has seized hundreds of electric scooters.

    How dare the public attempt to alleviate on their own their city’s parking problem. THAT’S WHAT PUBLIC TRANSIT IS FOR.

    1. “The scooter companies began operations last month without asking permission from the city or sorting out rules about how they should operate.”

      The nerve of some companies!!!

      1. An earlier article had that idiot Nuru whining ‘why can’t the just follow the laws?’, and one paragraph later stating there were no applicable laws.
        So I guess anyone doing anything with wheels should hie herself to Nuru’s off ice and play “Mother May I?”

        1. These are apparently ride-share type scooters. I suspect that this is less about “public safety” and more about “public unions”, especially given the past conflicts between SF and Uber.

          1. It’s definitely not about public safety that’s for sure. When I take the local bus it takes 25 minutes to get to work, and that’s after spending 45 minutes on the public Caltrain. When I grab a scooter is takes less than 10 minutes. The state simply can’t accept that kind of speed in a non-union environment.

      2. If the scooters being confiscated are not violated specific laws, known and published before the fact, how is this not theft, and, indeed, unconstitutional as an ex post facto law?

        I hope the companies involved are nutsy enough to file a monstrous class action lawsuit.

  9. A new book by journalist Amy Chozick details the extent of Hillary Clinton’s icy relationship with the press.

    Maybe now right-wingers will stop pushing their nonsense about the “liberal media.” If 2016 taught us anything, it should finally disprove the myth that the American media always roots for the Democrat. In fact, it was shameful how they attacked Hillary Clinton. “She’s not healthy!” “Let’s show the video of her minor fainting incident a million times!” “What about her e-mails!” Even as the same media spent months normalizing Drumpf.


    1. Her cankles must really curl your toes.

    2. Wikileaks disclosures showing the close relationship between the Clinton campaign and journalists be damned.

      Also, this was a much better troll than usual

  10. Two popular dystopian series?The Handmaid’s Tale, now in its second season, and The 100, now in its fifth?returned to TV last night.

    I’m not sure what any of this has to do with Westworld.

    1. The third season of The Expanse started a couple weeks ago, and not one word about that.

      1. NO SPOILERS

        I’m about to watch S02.

        1. I just started season 2 on Amazon Prime myself, though i’ve read all the books and know where it’s going. The first season was mostly just painstaking world-building, but it’s already starting to pay off in the second.

  11. The result is banks telling Uncle Sam that Oregon is a possible money launderer,” which is absurd.

    Is it?

  12. Recent reform in Philadelphia has cut the city’s jail population by a third…

    You know the difference between a Filthadelphian behind bars and on the streets. NOTHING EXCEPT THE POTENTIAL TO ANNOY ME.

    1. And about $89 bucks/day of your tax money. Ha!

  13. Oklahoma Transgender Student Elected in Libertarian Party

    April 23, 2018, at 1:02 a.m.

    Oklahoma Transgender Student Elected in Libertarian Party

    By JOY HAMPTON, The Norman Transcript

    NORMAN, Okla. (AP) ? University of Oklahoma student Traci Baker is only 20 years old, but she was recently elected as state secretary of the Libertarian Party.

    Baker’s youth is remarkable on its own, but she’s also the first transgender official of any party in state history, as well as the first transgender executive of a state party in the U.S.

    Baker grew up in Edmond and was interested in politics early on.

    “I was inspired by the Ron Paul campaign in 2012, and that’s what got me into Libertarianism,” she said. “I was in high school when I did debate, and then I was in Youth in Government in the YMCA program. That’s also when I started doing my first campaign.”


    1. And then?

      1. I’m gonna come in there and put my foot in your ass if you say “and then” again.

        1. Aaaand theeeeen?

    2. Not knowing anything about the kid, the fact that she referenced Ron Paul rather than Gary Johnson seems like she is a good fit

      1. Did you notice that it wasn’t Rand that inspired her. Voting for a Military Industrial Complex government lifer swamp creature like Mike Pompeo is not exactly the stuff which tends to inspire.

        1. What you just said was a whole lot of nonsense. So Rand’s opposition to the bombings in Syria and FISA renewal should just be ignored, because he isn’t going to take a symbolic vote in committee that is meaningless because Pompeo already has the votes for confirmation?

          Are you serious right now?

          1. What is the downside to voting no?

            If all you got is that it might make mealy-mouthed Mitch uneasy, you ain’t got squat.

            Rand has a history of initially talking tough and taking a principled stand, and then punting.

            This does not mean that he should not be credited for his opposition to the Syrian bombings and FISA abuses. But, he should be opposed to those things, thus, he should not get brownie points for advocating what any libertarian would.

            You don’t seem to get the swamp creature disconnect aspect of Trump’s appointees, including Pompeo.

            Can you be seriously committed to liberty if you are continuing to support government lifers?

            1. The downside for Rand would be alienating the Republican caucus in the Senate with no upside. If you want a Ron Paul then you’ll have a one term Senator.

              It is curious, though, how suddenly votes in committee on cabinet appointments have become such a litmus test. I don’t recall Rand being criticized for any of his votes in favor of Obama cabinet appointments. So this is a very interesting development.

              1. He voted for Chuck Hagel and he was criticized for that. I just perused his voting record and, viewed through the swamp lens, it is good. When viewed through a libertarian lens, its okay.

                Some are satisfied with okay; others have higher standards.

                1. Some are satisfied with okay; others have higher standards.

                  Some have higher standards and just expect more realistic behavior from reality.

      2. Not knowing anything about the kid, the fact that she referenced Ron Paul rather than Gary Johnson seems like she is a good fit

        Disagree. First, I’m surprised to learn that Gary Johnson was, in fact, born with a pair of testicles. Second, I don’t know anything about this Traci fellow except that xhe’s a libertarian and transgender which makes xit doubly-less electable than Johnson and Weld.

        If people have trouble getting past Rand Paul’s acceptance of Mike Pompeo, identifying as transgender is going to fuck over any and all libertarian messaging you might bring to the table. Might as well have James Weeks doing a strip tease as your running mate.

    3. Is the point of the story that he had to become a woman to qualify to be a secretary?

      1. “There are no libertarian woman.” is less stereotype and more axiom.

    4. #ImWithHer/im

  14. The U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit just held that copyright infringement claims can only be brought on behalf of humans.

    Wait. What?
    Was this really the NINTH circuit? How can this possibly be true? FAKE NEWS!!!

    1. I guess those 10,000 monkeys sitting at 10,000 typewriters can go back to jacking off.

      1. It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times.

        1. Now don’t go apeshit!

          Don’t go bananas!

          It’s just monkey business! WHERE is Donna Rice and Gary Hardt when you need them??!?!?

  15. The panel found “that the animal had constitutional standing…”

    The Constitution seems to expand and contract on a court’s whim.

  16. The scooter companies began operations last month without asking permission from the city.

    And there you are.
    Despite being ‘clean energy powered’, despite being less bulky than even a bicycle, despite reducing the need for evil cars and motorcycles, not asking permission first gets you taken by the hand of city thugs. I also notice, more in keeping with the liberal policy of attacking things instead of people, it is the scooters themselves that are evil.

    “Anything not permitted is prohibited”. So get in line and beg, citizen.
    Oh wait, we cannot use the term citizen anymore, it is offensive to the criminal border crossers.
    So get in line and beg, plebe. There you go, all better now.

    1. Scooters go on sidewalks and travel at reasonable speeds. They are much safer and less of a menace to traffic and pedestrians than bicycles.

      1. Their greatest threat is to public transportation.

      2. No, they go in the streets. Just like bicycles are supposed to. Sidewalks are for walking.

        1. Then why do you drive on a parkway but park in a driveway?

          1. What’re you, a wise guy?

            1. Yes

          2. What’re you, a wise guy?

            1. Yes

          3. What’re you, a wise guy?

            1. No

            2. At least change it up:

              “What are you, a wise guy?”

              “What, are you a wise guy?”

              “What are you, a wise, guy?”

              1. My answers still hold up.

  17. Facebook has for the first time released the “Community Standards” guidelines it uses to gauge whether posts are permissible.

    Except that you cannot view them unless you have a facebook account and have coughed up all your personal data.
    Since FB snags data on people without FB accounts, I would have expected the policy that directly affects them to be available to the general public.

    But then, I am old and expect a lot – – – – – – – – – –

  18. Now that Inspector General Michael Horowitz has formally recommended that criminal charges be filed against Andrew McCabe and it appears Comey himself is next up in the I.G.’s sights, are the two deep state dirty tricksters about to turn on each other?

    “I like him very much as a person, but sometimes even good people do things they shouldn’t do.”
    -Comey, on McCabe

    Get your popcorn, this is only going to continue to get better and better folks!

    1. Will it be as good as that Obama/Clinton indictment you were talking about 3-4 months ago?

      1. Dude, Trump won the election. No one cares enough to indict a couple of hasbeens.

        1. “My idols/godkings haven’t been indicted (yet)!”

  19. “Rand Paul won’t put up a fight about the confirmation of Mike Pompeo as Secretary of State.”

    Voting against Pompeo in committee will literally do nothing. He already has the votes in the Senate to win confirmation. Voting against him in committee will be a purely symbolic vote and will only alienate him from the Republican caucus and upset McConnell.

    This complaint is nonsensical. It would make sense if his vote in committee would matter. But it doesn’t.

  20. “The U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit just held that copyright infringement claims can only be brought on behalf of humans.”

    I often wonder if PETA tries to make monkeys of themselves.

    1. Sevo, I didn’t know that you like swamp creatures.

    2. I wonder if the people at PETA ever take stock of their lives, wonder if their lives have any meaning or purpose. “Ethical treatment” is all well and good, but that addresses the ethics of human beings, the only creatures on this planet capable of exercising moral or ethical behavior. This crap with pushing for animal rights ignores the fact that rights and responsibilities are two sides of the same coin, rights without responsibilities is a contradiction in terms . If you’re going to claim that you and you alone can exercise the choice to take a certain action, then you and you alone are responsible for the consequences of that action. Would PETA back the photographer if he were to sue the monkey for using his camera without permission? If the monkey had used the camera to bash the photographer in the face instead of snapping a picture, would PETA approve of a jail term for assault and battery for the monkey? If the monkey has free will and has the right to make the choice, he has to accept responsibility for the choice he made.

      1. Good points and questions.

      2. My wife is friends with a lot of ex-PETA people, and we used to go to a karaoke bar not far from PETA headquarters. As near as i can tell, working for PETA is something you decide to do when preexisting emotional problems get exacerbated by nutritional deficiencies.

        That said, their mobile vaccine truck is a really affordable way to keep my dog and cats up to date on their shots.


    Maine Democrats refuse to ban Female Genital Mutilation.

    1. Unpopular take: there are three versions of FGM. The first (and most common one), which involves the partial removal of the clitoral hood is not much different from circumcision. Much like people must be allowed to get a circumcision (unlike parts of Europe where the practice is banned), due to religious liberty laws and the court’s interpretation of the First Amendment, maybe the first version of FGM should be treated the same way

      1. If that is similar to a circumcision, then you probably have a point. But, the Somalis seem to prefer the full removal of the clitoris and that was what this bill was going to ban.

        1. Isn’t the third version of FGM already banned under current law? Wouldn’t laws like child endangerment and child abuse cover that? This law seems unnecessary

          1. You would think so, but not necessarily.

            1. And how do you mean “not necessarily”. Yes, it would already be covered. Banning the most common version of female circumcision is a violation of religious liberty. The other two variants (identified as FGM 2 and FGM 3) would most likely already be illegal under current law.

              This law was just a political stunt with particular animus toward Muslims. Your casual disregard for religious liberty in this scenario makes you sound like a Reason writer or someone who worked for Gary Johnson

              1. Because some doctors from that culture claim it does not endanger the child. How is something endangerment if a doctor agrees to do it and the parents consent?

                1. What doctors are these?

                  If you want laws just to troll Muslims then move to Europe.

                  1. The doctors in the communities who do these things. How do you think they get done. This happens a lot. The child endangerment laws don’t seem to be doing anything to stop them. Sometimes you need a law that says specifically something is banned.

                  2. More importantly, if this is already banned, why do the people who do it care so much about this.

      2. Unpopular take: there are three versions of FGM. The first (and most common one), which involves the partial removal of the clitoral hood is not much different from circumcision. Much like people must be allowed to get a circumcision (unlike parts of Europe where the practice is banned), due to religious liberty laws and the court’s interpretation of the First Amendment, maybe the first version of FGM should be treated the same way

        There was recently (maybe “recently”), a low-level movement in favor of ‘ritual nick’ or ‘pinprick’ circumcision. Much like vaping, it specifically served the socio-religious needs and by all objective standards was safer. The American Association of Pediatrics even came out endorsed the procedure as essentially harmless and, again like vaping/smoking, the anti-FGM crowd gave them hell until they redacted the statement.

    2. Shouldn’t conservatives support Muslims on FGM bans as a “job killing regulation”?

      1. What the fuck are you talking about?

        1. You conservatives reflexively hate any ban.

          This FGM bill is a ban.

          It is not that difficult.

          Of course in reality you love bans on personal stuff.

          1. You are not even writing in complete sentences anymore. Maybe your user to try a reboot to the last time your OS was stable.

            1. You can always tell when shreek is waiting for his prescription to get refilled.

              1. Those were four short complete sentences.

                You wonder why I call you a conservative when you are always French-kissing the likes of John.

                1. I give John shit all the time, you goddamn lunatic.

                2. As a conservative I know it’s no one’s business what John and X do with their mouths.

          2. You lefties love any ban. It expands government power.


    FYI- The UK is set to deny parents their right to seek medical care outside of the UK again. They’ve chosen to slowly kill the child instead. The beauties of socialized medicine.

    1. It just says the parents are seeking medical treatment in Rome.

      At whose expense?

      If the parents are footing the bill then that is state sanctioned manslaughter.

      1. Just as in the Charlie Gard case, the parents have offered to foot the entirety of the bill. The UK and the Orwellian named EU Court of Human Rights have both denied the parents’ request

        1. Okay, then Sista Sarah Palin would be correct for once in calling that a “death panel”.

          1. Socialized medicine always results in a death panel. There is no other option

          2. The “death panel” is an import tool in socialized medicine. Helps keep costs down and manages the line of who gets treatment next. A 77 year old man that needs a heart transplant probably won’t get one because they need to give the heart to someone younger.

            1. Medicare needs death panels.

              1. If you say so.

              2. Said the guy who must not be old.

    2. I like how the parents called the doctors out for trying to say the baby is “suffering”. The baby is quite clearly not in any pain.

    3. Apparently UK law is, in blunt terms, that the government has primary parental rights over any British child. Parental rights only exist at the sufferance of the government. This is monstrous, but those are the legal principles that this is occurring under.


    NRA breaks 15-year fundraising record. If you didn’t know better, you would swear gun control groups are false flag operations run by the NRA.

  24. The best part of the selfie case was the massive beatdown provided for PETA. They tried to settle and asked the court not to make a decision but that must have passed the court off. The court gave their decision, noting that PETA was a bad “next friend” in deed and definition and could be sued by Naruto for trying to settle, as he was not a party to the settlement. That is, if Naruto weren’t a monkey. They also noted that PETA claims to be against exploitation of animals but exploited Naruto to bring this claim, which “next friend” status is meant to avoid.

  25. The scum in the JournoList are trying to claim that Alek Minassian killed a bunch of innocent people in Toronto with a van because he couldn’t get laid.

    You have to give it to these lefty media lowlifes: they can always come up new, creative mountains of bullshit.

    1. Just like the guy in Orlando murdered all of those people in a gay bar because he was a closeted gay tortured by evil conservatives. Yeah, that makes sense.

    2. These lousy traitors will do anything to avoid calling a terrorist a terrorist, amirite?

      1. Do we even know his motivation?

        All I know is that we need to have a conversation about common sense truck control

        1. Until more information comes out, i’m going to assume his motivation was the offensive representation of the Armenian people in pop culture.

          1. And today marks the anniversary of the beginning of the Armenian genocide. It all makes sense.

            The genocide began with the Turks rounding up all the most prominent Armenian intellectuals and political leaders, in case you were wondering how the Kardashian ancestors managed to escape the death camps.

            1. Oh my god that show has been on the air for 14 seasons. Holy fuck what is wrong with people. Oh my god.

              1. Oh my god that show has been on the air for 14 seasons. Holy fuck what is wrong with people. Oh my god.

                It was great right up until they tried to replace the actor that played Bruce Jenner with a woman, then it jumped the shark. I can’t wait until a couple decades from now when they reboot it on Netflix.

              2. I saw this morning that Grey’s Anatomy was renewed for a 15th Season. Doctor McDreamy isn’t so dreamy with a walking cane and bifocals.

            2. LOL – that explains so much.

            3. All that’s missing is the Turkish/Armenian gang warfare and this story can be a repeat of all the European and Central American turf wars carried over to North America.

      2. Lying about something doesn’t help. The media peddling absurd lies like this does nothing but make people more resentful of Muslims. The guy did what he did and we should be honest about why.

        1. You’re sure he’s Muslim? I mean, you’ probably right that people will continue to hate Muslims regardless.

          1. No. And if he did it for some other reason, we should be honest about that as well.

            1. What if he really is just some nutball who did it because the ladies ain’t havin it?

              1. We need common sense pussy control. Prince was on the forefront in this regard.

                1. We need common sense pussy control.

                  Nah, just walk up and grab ’em.

          2. The vast majority of Armenians belong to the Armenian Apostolic Church. Armenia was the first nation on earth to adopt Christianity as its official religion, in 301 AD (the second was Axum/Ethiopia in approximately 340 and the third was Rome in 380).

    3. The scum in the JournoList are trying to claim that Alek Minassian killed a bunch of innocent people in Toronto with a van because he couldn’t get laid.

      That’s what happened with Elliot Rodger and his killing spree, so it’s not outside the realm of probability.

      Perhaps society needs to reject this new Puritanism and Make Western Women Slutty Again.

    4. There was a guy up in Bothell who assaulted people with a car because he couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to work anymore.

  26. Bernie Sanders has a job for everyone!

    Some people dig holes in gulag, others guard gulag. Then, every six months, switch.

    1. Still others are buried in those holes in gulag. Fiscal responsibility

  27. Monkey photographer loses federal copyright case.

    So no more pictures of macaque?

    1. Just don’t let PETA catch you spanking that monkey.

      1. I don’t give a fuck what PETA thinks. I’ll go play with macaque in their parking lot.


    Nothing makes you want to give up your guns like mobs of violent retards.

  29. Every time I see a baboon pic I think of the Ripley’s Believe It or Not True Monster Stories comic where the baboon pack had the pack leader that would shoot lazer beams from his eyes at hunters.


  30. The Feds get their share of cannabis tax money so they must be money launderers too.

    1. In the end aren’t we all money launderers?

  31. What should they name the new male royal baby?

    I say something trendy like Kanye Kendrick or maybe Donald Adolf.

    1. They just better hope it doesn’t need medical care outside the UK.

    2. See, this is a pithy, semi-funny comment. More of this, please, and less of everything else you write.

  32. Did you guys hear about the stolen mace in Nigeria?…..index.html

    Short version of the story:

    The legislature wanted to suspend the presidential election until after the legislative elections. This apparently favors the president in power and the sitting legislature. The guy that’s running against the president was a sitting member of Nigeria’s senate, but he was suspended from his seat for various reasons–among them, running against the sitting president and not being part of the ruling party in the legislature. So get this, the suspended senator that’s running against the president had armed men storm the legislature, and they stole the mace!

    As CNN put it, “Laws cannot be passed by Nigeria’s Senate in the absence of the mace”, so they presumably can’t suspend the presidential election while it’s missing–and since they did without it, the law that suspended the presidential election is of questionable validity since it was passed in the absence of the mace.

    We should have this in the U.S. congress and every state legislature. We’ll make it a football instead. Fuck the filibuster, that shit’s boring. Make a law that says no law can be passed unless it’s passed in the presence of the sacred football, and every time a politicians wants to try to stop it, he just grabs the sacred football and it becomes a game of “smear the queer”.

    What could be more American?

    1. I like that idea. I am thinking it would make legislating more along the lines of this.

      1. Hell yeah!

    2. As long as those politicians are gonna keep trying to pacify Afghanistan, why not make them add a bunch of horses and a dead goat to the mix and import buzkashi?

      1. Because that isn’t better, it’s just you talking about something we’re all familiar with like we weren’t familiar with it.

        1. Don’t act like i know what you people do or don’t know about buzkashi.

  33. How is it that the hipster pop culture addicts at reason have totally failed to mention the most entertaining piece of pop culture news in years; that Kanye West may be a secret Trump supporter? Over-praising Kanye West is almost as much a badge of white hipsterdom as overpraising Beyonce. Are the Reason staff in some kind of grief-stricken shock that prevents them from writing about this?

    1. Kray’s all over it on Twitter. Another reason why he should not have been fired.

  34. A representative from Sanders’s office said they had not yet done a cost estimate for the plan or decided how it would be funded

    Sounds like a job or two right there.

  35. About Socialists who claim to want to get rid of prisons..…..zuela.html

    Like every promise, they don’t keep that one either.

  36. they had not yet done a cost estimate for the plan or decided how it would be funded

    But we are going to move ahead with this glorious plan as quickly as our glacial paced bureaucracy will allow.

  37. Selfie-Taking Monkey

    Dibs on the band name.

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