Brickbat: Don't Touch That!


Texting and driving
Kenishirotie |

Two Washington state lawmakers have introduced a bill that would make it illegal even to touch your phone while driving. The bill would also more than double the fine for distracted driving to $350 from $124.

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  1. I didn’t realizing Washington had such a severe inferiority complex when it came to California.

    1. The bill would also more than double the fine for distracted driving to $350 from $124.

      It’s not an inferiority complex, it’s prudent fiscal planning.

  2. “It’s about making a cultural shift, and I think we need to see how a first step like this bill actually changes behavior.”

    She thinks this is “a first step”. I bet you’ve spent every minute in office trying to change other’s behavior.

    1. You know who else wanted to shift culture?…

      1. Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council?

      2. Boy George?

        1. I knew one of you would get it

          1. Do you really want to hurt me?

            1. *slap!*

          2. Tell me, Mr. Lizard, do you come and go? Come and gooooOOoo?

            1. join the club

            2. The Mr Lizard is a karma chameleon?

    2. Ooo, the wrong headed arrogance of that comment. It’s breathtaking.

  3. At recent hearing in Baja Washington, the state police chief testified about how people only quit using their cellphones around troopers and moar penalties are needed to “deter” that behavior.

    No mention of any evidence that cell phone use is harmful or even unsupported assertions at this point. It’s already moved to the proven assumption stage.

    Of course, the blindingly obvious question “if cell phone use during driving is that prevalent and always leads to accidents, why aren’t accident rates through the roof?” was never asked.

    1. Not to mention that this gives any cop any excuse to pull over anyone, anytime they want. As if they needed another excuse.

      1. Ah yes. More assertions without proof.

        “She used her cell phone.”


        “Just my statement.”

        “No camera to back it up? No second witness?”

        “Nope. Nope.”

        “Well then, guilty.”

        1. Furtive movements, blood shot eyes, distinct odor of alcohol…forced blood draw via 40 cal hollow point

    2. Don’t you remember back in the 70’s when everyone was distracted by their CB radios and died?

      1. did they have a convoy?

        1. + Rubber Duck

      2. Look at how many weecks were caused, just by The Bandit!

        1. east bound & down baby…

  4. I’m sick of these wishy-washy lawmakers and their cowardly half-measures. Ban smartphones. Children are dying.

  5. So what do we do when we need the phone to navigate?

    1. You reach into your glove box and select the appropriate nap then unfold it while driving(perfectly legal under this law)

      1. won’t napping while driving cause death and mass destruction?

  6. I’m pretty sure there are already laws that punish drivers for traffic infractions or actual harms. “Distracted driving” is dangerous and it really doesn’t matter whether you’re distracted by your phone, your kids, your lunch, your third beer, or the fact that you’re 93 years old and half-blind and half-senile. If the distraction causes you to weave all over the road or run stop-signs or drive up on the sidewalk and kill three pedestrians, there’s your cause for punishment. If the distraction doesn’t cause you to drive any worse than any other idiot on the road, what’s the problem?

    1. you’re 93 years old and half-blind and half-senile

      This has not inhibited me whatsoever.

      1. How’s the weather down there in Sarasota?

        1. I was just in Del Boca Vista visiting my mother. Holy shit, what a depressing place.

          1. FL… the elephants graveyard?

    2. Here’s the problem. Say someone we’ve got a person who is a crappy driver who can’t handle driving and chewing gum at the same time. They get a ticket for swerving all over the road. Well, this person can afford a good attorney who digs out precedent where someone in the past who was chewing gum while driving got their case dismissed, so this case gets dismissed. There is no subjectivity here. Either anyone can chew gum and drive at the same time, or no one can. The fact that some people are shitty drivers while others are not is not a valid consideration. So that means that if chewing gum and driving is to be considered distracted driving, it has to be codified as such and applied to everyone equally. That’s why we get these really stupid pieces of legislation that are then abused like the wanker of some dude in solitary confinement.

      1. The ticket is for failure to stay in your lane…not chewing gum.

        1. ticket for chewing gum is stupid and oppressive and pointless.

          1. “I’m here to chew gum and be oppressive + pointless…and I’m all out of bubble gum.”

            Nada from They Live.

    3. I don’t care if someone is on the phone except when they slow down in the passing lane and fuck up traffic.

      1. all this is moot given the immanent arrival of our self driving autobot overlords!

  7. First they suggested, then they demanded. Then they nudged, then they pushed. Then they shoved. Now comes the fist.

    “There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters.” – Daniel Webster

    1. Oooh, they mean. They mean, mean, men. They grammar suck too, even Daniel Webester suck at grammar back then. Or was it transcribed wrong?

      Yes, statists mean. Statists mean. Statists stupid. Statists selfish. Statists condescending. Statists arrogant.

  8. Is having the phone in your pocket considered “concealed touching”?

    1. Put on your law enforcement cap on. Now can you answer?

  9. Yea I love the fact that every police cruiser I’ve seen has a laptop mounted on the console a radio next to that, you want to tell those knuckleheads aren’t “distracted” or does that week of superduper police car driver training make them immune from that… BS money grab like most other tickets. Insurance companies and governments both love it, surprise surprise.

    1. Yes. Training is magical. That’s why cops can drive around with their cell phone glued to their ear and their eyes on their pc without being any danger to anyone at all. Well, except for the fact that if they do get into an accident, that will no doubt be their fault, the person who they hit will be in a very real danger of being beaten and/or shot by the irate cop.

  10. does this infraction incur if I touch myself?

      1. +1 Divinyls

    1. how about if I use two phones, one in my pocket set on vibrate and one set to call that number every 30 sec, does that count?

      1. I see lawyers getting rich…

    2. that is actually my response…so is it a crime or infraction for having my dick in my hand officer? Waht is the difference from my shifter and my dick? I drive automatic BTW.

      If you want to write me a ticket for having my dick in my hand go ahead and i will see you in court.

      That is my awaited response for this BS. I’ll make every dollar worth it by making it highly entertaining for me and everyone else.

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