Brickbat: Stocking Stuffers

Charles Oliver | 12.28.2016 4:00 AM

(Bashta / Dreamstime.com)

Iesha Conley, a postal worker in Brooklyn, has been charged with stealing gift cards from from the mail. She reportedly used one card to buy almost $100 in sex toys.

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Rat 8 years ago

They were allegedly gifts for a poor couple who could only afford plain sex. Or was it for the animal shelter? I don't recall. I know it was WWJD.
Trigger Warning 8 years ago

She really wanted a candy cane.
1. Trigger Hippie 8 years ago
  
  +1 mistletoe belt buckle
  1. Rich 8 years ago
    
    "Meet Me At The Pawnshop, Honey, And You Can Kiss Me Under The Balls"
Suthenboy 8 years ago

She sounds easy to please. A hundred bucks doesnt go far on sex toys these days.
1. straffinrun 8 years ago
  
  You know what we had to use for sex toys when I was a kid?
  1. Suthenboy 8 years ago
    
    I am on the edge of my seat...
    1. Mr Lizard 8 years ago
      
      Well that's a good place to start...
  2. Pompey: Ho Class Mothersmucker 8 years ago
    
    Garden vegetables, duh.
    1. Suthenboy 8 years ago
      
      I had to wait all this time? You people are slow.
      
      Garden vegetables? Luxury! We could only dream of garden vegetables. We had to use old corn cobs!
      
      We all know where this is going.
      1. straffinrun 8 years ago
        
        Corn cobs? Why, all I had was "despair" and "anxiety" scratched onto each fist.
        
        Brian 8 years ago
        
        You could use your hands?
        
        My hands were cuffed behind my back until I was 20.
        
        I had find a wooden floorboard to make sweet love to.
        
        Splitters were terrible.
        
        bacon-magic 8 years ago
        
        At least you had hands to cuff. My stubs were all pinned down with acacia thorns and all I had for solace was a armadillo wandering by. Sweet, sweet armadillo...
  3. Rat 8 years ago
    
    Your orphans?
straffinrun 8 years ago

Neither rain nor sleet nor...Hey, look! Buy one get one free dildos!
sarcasmic 8 years ago

Ran a google images search on "Iesha Conley" and all I can say is GUILTY!
1. (((Renegade))) 8 years ago
  
  I was going to demand pix until I ran the GIS. Thank you, no.
2. Pompey: Ho Class Mothersmucker 8 years ago
  
  Racist!
Fist of Etiquette 8 years ago

...not before ?us?ing one she stole months earlier to buy ?discount sex toys online,? federal authorities charged.

What are discount sex toys? Anyway, funds are fungible, so can't we say that she freed up moneys to pay for the food she needs for her and her family to stay alive?
Will4Freedom 8 years ago

I wonder what Bok would do with a story like this? Gives new meaning to the term "going postal", huh?
invisible furry hand 8 years ago

This is what happens when you tell government officials to go fuck themselves. Or not to steal other people's stuff.
1. Rich 8 years ago
  
  This is what happens when you tell government officials to go fuck themselves.
  
  Beautiful.
2. EDG reppin LBC 8 years ago
  
  Ifh ftw!
  1. Chip I. Alhazred 8 years ago
    
    Ia! fhtagn!
    
    Cthulhu fhtagn!
Libertarian 8 years ago

Speaking of dildos, Kerry has been SoS for four years yet today -- three weeks before he leaves his job -- he's going to bless us with his knowledge and insight per this morning's headlines:

"U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry will lay out his vision for ending the Israeli-Palestinian conflict in a speech on Wednesday,. . . "

And, as always, The Guardian never disappoints. Never.

"White House races to save Middle East peace process before Trump takes office"
1. Rich 8 years ago
  
  Middle East peace process
  
  What a concept!
  1. Will4Freedom 8 years ago
    
    Has there ever been peace in the Middle East?
    
    I'm pretty old and I don't remember, if there was.
    
    I think humans, in general, are a pretty violent species. There's always some conflict going on somewhere. Sad.
    1. UnCivilServant 8 years ago
      
      The purpose of the middle east peace process is to create jobs for diplomats.
      1. Rich 8 years ago
        
        And what are *Nobel Prizes*, chopped liver?
        
        UnCivilServant 8 years ago
        
        A misguided attempt by the inventor of Dynamite to assuage his conscience over the number of workplace fatalities that went into his fortune.
        
        Rich 8 years ago
        
        Should have pursued this approach.
    2. Libertarian 8 years ago
      
      One of my favorite Dilbert strips.
      
      http://dilbert.com/strip/1989-07-12
2. dantheserene 8 years ago
  
  Always good for a laugh.

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