Webathon

The Guy Who Subpoenaed Reason, Preet Bharara, Met With Donald Trump Today

Would now be a good time for you to chip in a few bucks to our webathon?

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Polaris/Newscom

Remember last year, when Reason got slammed with a subpoena and subsequent gag order from the U.S. attorney's office in the Southern District of New York? Yeah, well the guy whose John Hancock is on that grand jury subpoena—Preet Bharara—was hanging out with President-elect Donald Trump today. Bharara has "agreed to stay on" as Manhattan U.S. attorney under the Trump administration after kicking it with the future POTUS for 40 minutes in Trump Tower. "I expect that I will be continuing to work at the southern district," he told reporters.

That's…just great.

Here's what Reason wrote about the legal assault after the gag order was lifted:

U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara subpoenaed all of the identifying information we had about the authors of such comments as, "Its (sic) judges like these that should be taken out back and shot." And, "Why waste ammunition? Wood chippers get the message across clearly. Especially if you feed them in feet first." This last comment is a well-known Internet reference to the Coen brothers' movie Fargo.

The subpoena also covered such obviously harmless comments as: "I hope there is a special place in hell reserved for that horrible woman," and "I'd prefer a hellish place on Earth be reserved for her as well."…

Reason's unmoderated comment space is rare among comparable publications and has, over the years, developed into a forum that is by turns exciting, intellectually advanced, outlandish, cringe-inducing, and more foul-mouthed than any locker room this side of the Crab Nebula. It is something to be celebrated as a voluntary community that can be engaged or ignored as the spirit moves you (we say that as writers whose work and physical shortcomings rarely escape unscathed from any thread). However trollish many of our commenters can be, they have created a sphere of free speech that delivers on one of the great promises of the Internet, which is unbridled expression, dialogue, and argument.

We took risks by creating an autonomous zone in which our readers are left to their own devices. Some of the risk is reputational—how many other serious outlets allow anonymous commenters to run riot as we do? Some of the risk is legal, as in the current situation.

Reason

Since the last webathon, over the past year alone, we have run 844,000 comments (just shy of 100 per hour). Suffice it to say, our speech—and our willingness to host yours—remains unchilled. That's because when it comes to defending the right of American citizens to say what we believe, Reason has no chill (as the kids say).

At a time when sites from National Public Radio to News24 are closing down their comments sections—and some (cough, Vox, cough) never had them at all—Reason remains a glorious free-for-all.

As Voltaire almost certainly did not say: We may not like what you say, but we will defend to the death Fist of Etiquette's "firsts," Heroic Mulatto's staunch pining for former Reason staffer Lucy Steigerwald, and everyone's frankly unhealthy interest in Robby Soave's grooming habits.

But commenter freedom isn't free, is what I'm saying here. Given that The Donald and Bharara are besties now, maybe we need to bulk up our legal defense fund. So what better time to do your part to defray the (wildly outsized, utterly infuriating) costs of ill-advised Fargo references with a donation to our webathon?

And if all that isn't enough, we brought back your nemesis/crush/former Reason Editor in Chief/famous commenter skeptic Virginia Postrel as a columnist in the dead tree magazine. (Subscribers get first crack at commenting on her stories. Just saying.) You're welcome.

NEXT: Steve Mnuchin To Be Nominated Treasury Secretary, Nancy Pelosi Re-Elected House Dem Leader, Nazi Haircuts: P.M. Links

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. [Space reserved for Fist of Etiquette]

    1. *looks at reserved commenting space*

      How much did he donate for that?

      1. It was matched. Shouldn’t there be two spaces?

    2. I notice callouts to Fist and HM, but no call out to The One That Shall Not Be Named.

      1. Who is The One That Shall Not Be Named?

        Have I missed something?

          1. So it’s that old aphorism-if you can’t recognize the sucker/asshole at the table, then it’s you?

        1. Tony + his sock puppet accounts
          Did I get it?
          Validate me!!!111!!

      2. Hitler?

  2. Preet is s very handsome man isn’t he.

    1. He is stunning and brave.

    2. He does sort of look like Fisher Stevens fucked Peter Lorre and the discarded condom slithered out of the trash and became a US Attorney.

      1. Hugh! I am *shocked*!

        1. Hey, those are both respected Hollywood actors.

        2. I mean, I could have said that his face resembled the prolapsed rectum of New Jersey’s oldest working gay hooker, but I would never disrespect an upstanding public servant like that.

          1. Why would you? He’s been taking it up the ass for Jersey going on 4 score and 17. And he does it with nary a whimper or a whine.

          2. I would. I just did.

          3. We all know that prostitutes can’t be disrespected, even those that file subpoenas.

    3. Preet is a name you give your son if you wanted him to grow up cupping testicles.

      1. I thought it was because you wanted to name him after a particularly funny egg-salad fart.

        The more you learn.

        /not that it can’t be both.

        1. Sorry, Troy. In hindsight, it looks like I’m accusing you of the naming. I shoulda wrote, “because you want”.

      2. According to Wikipedia, his full legal (first) name is “Preetinder”. It seems to suggest that, at some point in time, he could in fact be tinder. Or simply that he is a pretender. Seems to suggest to me. Phonetically. Actually, as I thought, he is from India, and I guess that’s an ordinary Indian name.

      3. THAT’S RAAAAAACISSSSSSTTT!!!!!

    4. He’d be a lot less handsome if dragged by horseback to a public square where he’s shot in the face.

      Which should obviously NEVER happen.

      1. Sweet Jesus….let’s all give our condolences to DROP USER Tony’s family.

    5. He’s a regular Mike Rowe

    6. Looks very chipper, but he would, wouldn’t he?

    7. I never knew that Rodney Dangerfield had a twin brother that was separated from him at birth. Until now.

    8. He looks just like a hog.

    9. All,the goats find him irrrrrestible.

      1. Only if he’s the catcher.

  3. I’m okay if he keeps indicting New York politicians instead of bullying internet tough guys.

    1. He’s a bit like a rabid dog; good when he’s biting people you don’t like, but you don’t ever want to draw his attention…

  4. Is it too much to hope that they will have a violent confrontation in front of a woodchipper and fall in together?

  5. 844,000 comments

    Yeah but how many of them were spam or squirrel double posts?

    1. I would love to see what percentage of those comments is spam, what percentage is John rants, what percentage is Eddie talking to himself, and what percentage is my jokes about SIV’s chickens.

      1. What is Agile Cyborg, chop liver?

        1. Agile Cyborg is the brilliance which surpasses all understanding…

    2. This letter may come to you as a surprise but I really prayed to God to help me choose somebody that will be my true partner. My name is Augusto Nandu Savimbi. I am the first son of Mr. Jonas Savinbi, the leader of the UNITA movement in Angola. May be you know that my father was killed recently in Angola by the Angola Government soldiers and has been buried. Two weeks before he died (May be he know he will die) he called me and showed me a box containing US$ 35 million and some Diamond value about US$18 million. He send the box to a security company overseas in one country in the West, for safe keeping with a false name. He give me the certificate of deposit and the code number. With that I collect the box anytime I want. Now I want because my father is dead and I need the money to take care of my family left behind of about five wives and twenty five children. I am now hiding as the government of Angola look for me to kill and also the former commanders of my father want to get me also. I have to be careful of my movement that is why I need your help to get the box and keep it until I can escape and meet you and you help me invest the money in your country or where it is good.

    3. 42

      1. I know I have posted more than 42 double-, triple-, quadruple-, or more posts.

      2. I know I have posted more than 42 double-, triple-, quadruple-, or more posts.

      3. I know I have posted more than 42 double-, triple-, quadruple-, or more posts.

      4. I know I have posted more than 42 double-, triple-, quadruple-, or more posts.

      5. I know I have posted more than 42 double-, triple-, quadruple-, or more posts.

      6. I know I have posted more than 42 double-, triple-, quadruple-, or more posts.

      7. I know I have posted more than 42 double-, triple-, quadruple-, or more posts.

      8. I know I have posted more than 42 double-, triple-, quadruple-, or more posts.

      9. I know I have posted more than 42 double-, triple-, quadruple-, or more posts.

        1. Jeezuz Kryste!

        2. How about once more, for the folks in the cheap seats?

  6. In the best tradition of Reason’s comment pages, I would like to invite Preet Bharara to go fuck himself.

    -jcr

    1. Didn’t Sugarfree have a story about that?

      1. I don’t think Preet has been featured yet. SugarFree should do an homage to Waiting for Godot.

        1. Except in this version, he could actually hang himself for an erection?

          1. Then the rope breaks and he falls into a wood chipper and wakes up in A Very Special Spot in Hell?.

            1. A wood chipper does seem like an appropriate place for an erection.

              1. What you did there, I see it.

            2. I like the cut of your jib

          2. David Carradine approves.

    2. Does CUNY have an electron microscope? He needs one just to find it.

  7. The Guy Who Subpoenaed Reason, Preet Bharara, Met With Donald Trump Today
    Would now be a good time for you to chip in a few bucks to our webathon for a heavy-duty woodchipper?

  8. You mean the goatfucker who subpoenaed Reason.

    1. We have no evidence that was actually a goat

      1. However, no one can deny that possibility.

      2. I haven’t heard him deny it.

      3. I hope the goat was dead

        1. And besides, that was in another country.

        2. Dude, not cool.
          It’s totally haram to fuck a dead goat.

      4. It was an inflatable goat.

    2. Objection! No self-respecting goat would touch Preet.

  9. Would now be a good time for you to chip in a few bucks to our webathon?

    Wood it?

    1. Feet first?

        1. [Investigation intensifies]

  10. National Public Radio to News24 are closing down their comments sections

    Let’s be honest, though: NPR’s comment section was full of insipid, vile, racist bunk, and that was just from the proggies that inhabited it.

    1. Certainly can’t have the Government going around looking like it condones open conversation.

      1. Sure they do. They just prefer to get it through the NSA now.

        1. “Now.”

          1. You don’t know how pleased they are that you didn’t say: “open.”

        2. So they would be getting their news NSAnally, now, wouldn’t they?

  11. I notice no shout out to Sugarfree’s bedtime stories

    1. I think they realize that if they encourage him he’ll only write less. Besides, aren’t some surprises worth discovering on your own?

      1. There’s a difference between surprises and “surprises”

        1. That’s all part of the fun.

  12. As Voltaire almost certainly did not say: We may not like what you say, but we will defend to the death Fist of Etiquette’s “firsts,” Heroic Mulatto’s staunch pining for former Reason staffer Lucy Steigerwald, and everyone’s frankly unhealthy interest in Robby Soave’s grooming habits.

    ::long uproarious laughter from the bowels of southern New Hampshire::

    1. Wait, wait, the Editor In Chief reads the comments?

      We’re doomed!

  13. we have run 844,000 comments

    yes j0di it may be the truths that I earned up to ?55234 pound sterling per annum works in my spare times with sexy reason chats. i am postings this from my bently and my Iphone 3GS

    https://www.reason.com/blog

    1. I almost clicked “block” out of the anti-spam reflex…

      1. Fun fact: the “report spam” link is only useful for inadvertently blocking straffinrun.

        1. I haven’t used that – I tend to use the fascr ‘block’ for the spambots.

  14. I miss Lucy. And I change my mind. Preet seems more of a sheepfucker than a goatfucker. Sheep are more passive which is more like his MO.

    1. We have no more evidence that was actually a sheep than we had of it being a goat.

      1. We have no more evidence that he can achieve and maintain an erection, irrespective of if it was actually a sheep rather than a goat.

        1. He can, but it’s the size of a cilia on a paramecium’s butt.

      2. But no less, either. It is a proposition equally considerable.

  15. “Remember last year, when Reason got slammed with a subpoena and subsequent gag order from the U.S. attorney’s office in the Southern District of New York?”

    Wait, when did this happen? This was a thing?

    Oh great. and the next thing you’ll tell me is Lou Reed is dead!

  16. Reason’s unmoderated comment space is rare among comparable publications and has, over the years, developed into a forum that is by turns exciting, intellectually advanced, outlandish, cringe-inducing, and more foul-mouthed than any locker room this side of the Crab Nebula.

    Grab someone named Preet by the pussy!

    What?

    It’s locker room talk!

  17. Preet, I think you’re a handsome man, and I stand with you and against these libertine scoundrels.

    1. I’d imagine as the equivalent of Seinfeld’s Pigman in real life, you are probably not the best judge of that.

  18. And oddly enough for an unmoderated forum, this is one of the more polite and friendly comment sections. Although unless I’m missing something you don’t see when someone responds to your comments so that probably stops a lot of the hostile back and forths.

    1. The way you see replies is by obsessively f5ing on the page until someone validates you exist.

      1. I’ll validate your existence, but not your parking. You don’t want to get towed around here. You’ll have to retrieve your vehicle from Tony’s tow yard, where he and AmSoc reenact that scene from Pulp Fiction in their basement. You know which one.

        1. If you ain’t got a car just take Zed’s chopper. He won’t be using it.

      2. Reasonable browser plugin helps, but no one validates that I exist after 10pm PST.

  19. …we brought back your nemesis/crush/former Reason Editor in Chief/famous commenter skeptic Virginia Postrel as a columnist in the dead tree magazine.

    Called it. Although, really, it wasn’t that hard to guess.

    1. This never would have happened under Virginia Postrel.

        1. Miss my typos, more like.

          1. We miss you being not-Robby.

          2. If you would be HM’s future, you would also be his enemy.

            1. I thought about it, but he kind of reminds me of my brother, but with nicer hair.

  20. I just want to put it out there that if Lucy wants to impregnate me, the offer still stands.

    1. You should probably reserve the “Heroic Quadroon” handle for them now, just in case.

      1. Octoroon.

        I am, in actually, an HQ.

        1. I’m curious. Are you called a racist 1/4 as often as the rest of us, or do SJWs just tell you that you don’t count because you’re not one of them?

          -jcr

    2. You should have specified what with. Now we’re going to have an adorable little xenomorph running around the ship. Hope you’re proud of yourself.

      1. Now we’re going to have an adorable little xenomorph running around the ship.

        Doesn’t matter. (Lucy) still nutted.

        1. And now to leave for the next five years.

            1. There’s a whole world out there, a whole internet. Sometimes I write on it. But the commenters are never as nice/disturbing/lawsuit-worthy as you fine people.

              But try to be less right-wing, some of you. I saw of the mean things you wrote about Sheldon Richman.

              1. I see no difference between Sheldon and Adam Lanza Robby Soave, if we’re being honest with one another.

                1. My favorite pretensies couple are having a fight, and that means I’m having a case of teh sadz.

                    1. Daddy still loves you, Crusty.

                      I’d like to rescind my donation.

              2. I saw of the mean things you wrote…

                …and she left us with a typo!

                *sniff* Goodbye, Lucy…

    3. That’s one of the secret donation tiers.

    4. I’d like to thank KMW for bringing this offer to my attention. I will give it the serious consideration it deserves.

      1. Hi, Lucy! 😎

        1. 😎 yourself, sir.

      2. Poor HM frantically calls the number on the card Lucy gave him only to have his heart broken because it’s the rejection hotline.

        Way to let him down easy.

          1. Was an instant classic when it came out. 😉

            1. Called it.

      3. This is the comment I’ve been looking for.

  21. Just curious, K-Maw, is there a reason why the, uh, glamorous Miss Postrel is only contributing to the analog magazine and not to the online version?

    1. It’s because of uppity members of the commentariat such as you.

    2. I was actually joking. Everything Virginia writes will go online (there was a link right there in the post to her first column!) just like everything in the print magazine goes online eventually. There’s just a delay. But people who subscribe get the stuff in the print mag earlier, and can comment then.

      1. If comments are active, I promise to be good.

        Mostly.

  22. (just shy of 100 per hour

    Sure, but 88% is just social signaling.

  23. everyone’s frankly unhealthy interest in Robby Soave’s grooming habits.

    My guess? He lasers. It’s like a turtle shell down there.*

    *If you don’t donate there will be fewer comments like these.

  24. In that photo, Bhahaha looks like some kind of movie villain. He seems to be in the middle of explaining how we’re not so different, you and I.

  25. I don’t see “Palin’s Buttplug” in the current donor list? has anyone seen that name in the box yet?

    1. It will take days for his money order to arrive via the U.S.P.S.

  26. Did you know that Preet Bharara is a lifelong Bruce Springsteen fan?

    At an October 2012 concert in Hartford, Connecticut, Springsteen shouted, “This is for Preet Bharara!” before launching into his song “Death to My Hometown.”

    Well, fuck you Preet Bharara…fuck you….

    Send the subpoena to my house and I will piss on it.

  27. Ah the good old days. It’s gotten really boring around here.

  28. We’ve got insults to that asshole Preet, revived (hypothetical!) woodchipper talk, passable attempt at alt-text, and LUCY. The best thread in a while. I only wonder what Postrel thinks about it.

    Preet could almost redeem himself if he took Hillary down.

  29. Is it still verboten to mention the name of that one dickbag litigious aviation lawyer fuck who sued Reason because we insulted him too much? Fuck that guy. Whatever his name was.

    1. I don’t know.

      But fuck him anyway.

    2. It was one of those 3-name names. Only assholes have 3-name names.

    3. I thought I remembered it, but googling “wolk” turned up nothing. Then I tried “wolk sheep”…yep!

  30. This last comment is a well-known Internet reference to the Coen brothers’ movie Fargo.

    Is it? The guy that got run through the woodchipper in Fargo was already dead, the murderer was just disposing of the body. The movie with a (temporarily) living person going through a woodchipper feet first is “Rumble in the Bronx”.

    So if it’s well-known it’s wrong.

    1. As 90’s kung-fu comedy is the superior genre, I support this wholeheartedly.

    2. You show me a person who doesn’t know Rumble in the Bronx and I will show you someone who doesn’t matter.

      1. My problem is, they keep claiming that it’s a “well known internet meme from a movie” that judges and prosecutors should be familiar with and understand that it’s not an actionable threat — but the Reason writers don’t even know which movie the supposed reference came from! No evidence that it’s even an Internet meme in the first place.

        If someone said “I’m going to flay off your skin and sew it into my clothing”, you could hardly claim that it’s not a threat because a character did it in Silence of the Lambs and Firefly.

        Bottom line, if you write positively about committing bodily violence against another person on the web, expect to face consequences. Especially if it’s a flippin Federal Judge. And I don’t care what movie reference you and your friends have in mind, it’s not going to matter. What matters is the literal interpretation of what you wrote. Yeah, you might understand that “I will take what is mine with fire and blood” or “If I ever shoot you, you’ll be awake, you’ll be facing me, and you’ll be armed” are TV show quotes, but your victim may not. Basically, don’t be a fucking child about it.

        1. You miss the point that nothing said could seriously be deemed an actionable threat. But go ahead and lecture every one on growing up.

        2. Judges and federal prosecutors are not he kings they think they are.

          We have a real problem in this country when judicial resources are spent on going after bloggers talking and writing. Its like they don’t even teach much about the Constitution in law school.

  31. Preeeeeeet! When will your lonely eyes turn back to us again?

    844 000 comments? Is that all?

    How many were mine?

    1. 844 000 comments? Is that all?

      That’s US comments. That’s equivalent to something like 1 597 310 comments Canadian.

      1. Oh my.

  32. I stick around Reason just to be a part of the next scandal.

  33. Man, I want to donate a 1000 dollars, but I don’t know which editor I want to have a date with!!! Life is too hard.

    1. Just throwing it out there: You can have a date with a commenter for $14.

      1. Gosh, usually I have to pay 100 at least to have anyone touch me!

        1. My package is all-inclusive.

  34. I think instead of just asking for money, Reason should do thank you gifts, NPR-style. But instead of tote bags and coffee mugs well-heeled donors should be able to interact with the staff. Get local ice cream with KMW, touch Robby hair, teach Welch how to curse without sounding like a dork.

    There could have a whole section on the donation page saying “what would you do for a $xx donation?”. Yeah, it would get perverted fast but it could really do something.

    Also, I’ve thought about it and I think there is no real need for an edit button. We say what we say, errors and all. But for fuck’s sake, better server response time, halfway-decent threading, (optional) user profiles, SEARCHABILITY! Wouldn’t all that cost next to nothing?

    I know it’s really a comment board, not a chat board but, like everything else, we have twisted it to suit our own purposes. Give the people what they want.

    Have have Kmele Foster write sometimes. That guy is wicked smart and actually libertarian.

    1. mugs well-heeled donors should be able to interact with the staff

      What about the shit-heeled donors?

      1. He just assumes that they’re already stalking Robby for free.

    2. Agree that the edit button would be awful. Threads would quickly devolve into an unreadable mess.

    3. I’d pay to go to The Game with Robby. Sloopy from Texas and all the other Buckeyes from the boards would probably pay for that privilege too.

  35. And a woodchipper is born…

  36. Geez, Preet, Postrel, and commenter callouts. It’s almost like they don’t loathe us!

  37. A wise man once said “To all Preet Preet motherfucker, To all Preet Preet Goddamn”

  38. Very interesting blog. A lot of blogs I see these days don’t really provide anything that I’m interested in, but I’m most definitely interested in this one. nice thanks for share great post here. loudtronix login | chinagrabber

    1. Is this a new more advanced type of anon-bot?

      Well, roll that beautiful bean footage!

    2. +1 grab it by the china

  39. Fuck me, I donated. Servers ain’t free after all.

    Whatever they have running is certainly cheap and shit, but even squirrels need their nuts*. And maybe staff will become less retarded in the new year, or Trump will catch in retardation so their articles start having merit.

    *insert Greek culture CK2 joke for four people who play it

  40. I am a bit dismayed about how low the donations are this year. Last year we were way past this point, weren’t we?

    I pay some $75 a MONTH for a cable subscription that gives me an average of around an hour of viewing time a day.
    I pay some $100 a year to go to the movie theatre.
    I pay around $400 a year to amazon prime for movies that we will watch once or twice.

    And yet I get to enjoy the Reason comments that keep on giving every day- several hours a day. I am hardly a prolific poster here, but the entertainment hours and total value I get each year far exceed the $250 I ponied up for this webathon.

    OTOH: SCREW YOU reason for putting my real name in the donors scroll at the top of the page. I put my handle in my Paypal payment, specifically labeled, because I don’t want to risk persecution at my office. (I kid, I kid because I love. But don’t cross me.)

  41. I’ve got to admit, this Preet stuff and posting that rhetorical blowjob to the commentariat had me reaching for my wallet for a second there. You’re some kind of evil genius Katherine Mangu-Ward.

  42. Suffice it to say, our speech?and our willingness to host yours?remains unchilled.

    Whatever, motherfuckers. You bitches run and hide anytime the name Arthur Alan Wolk is invoked. I had several comments deleted after mentioning that he may or may not be a complete sheepfucker, thus I was not named in the subpoena but Warty was. You also deleted all comments and terminated commenting once the suit was settled.

  43. If dogs shit evil lizards they would be called Trumps Preet Bharara
    If god got diarrhea from eating the hearts from all his angels his shit would be called Trumps Preet Bharara
    IF all the fucking hippos on this fucking marble got some Savannah disease that dismayed all the fucking rangers…
    Agile Cyborg would run up and call the disease of the hippo asshole: Trumps Preet Bharara
    If ISIS missed all the bombs of ex[plosions on some shitty hotel of some shitty allah bullshit whatever explosion
    and the bomb and all the bullets of the boys running around did NOT go off I would DEFINITELY NOT
    call that: Trumps Preet Bharara
    IF the Kellyanne Conway space walk involved the routine crossing of dimensions and science wands of fucking bullshit
    American government deep basement crap and these geeks released tons of data because they were in love with
    Kellyanne Conway …well , shit….. i have to get back on FUCKING with our goddamn president
    IF AMERICAN FREEDOM lived right now you better FUCKING live up to the fucking flag you motherfucking
    president who doesn’t know SHIT about freedom
    Agile loves Kellyanne Conway and ENB
    Agile also embraces the living Michaels of the threads: the gods and goddesses of the earth planet
    peace lovers

    1. Damn Cyborg, the reason foundation fast tracked those posts straight to the government. THEY will aid in the prosecution, or at the least provide evidence against you. They probably have the interns looking at every post you ever made, just to make sure they reveal every single one to the government. The people who work for “Free Minds and Free Markets” don’t mean it. They just claim it to make a buck and to false flag any actual Liberty supporters.

  44. Trump-
    flag burners deserve let alone, brother
    let them protest in peace
    my president
    Sure, marxists scare your crew but
    remember
    the anger of a nation
    holds the bubbling chemistry
    of future shadows
    and even the winds of your millions
    flap a future not even the greatest
    dead Harrison can envision

  45. Trump please erase Preet Bharara
    he is toxic to liberty

  46. why Preet Bharara
    is allowed to
    smash his heels into
    the necks of Libertarians
    is an answer that can
    only exist on
    the sundials
    in the backyards of CNN
    serenades

  47. why Preet Bharara
    is allowed to be anyone
    special in a free country
    can only be found
    in the graveyard
    of a cowboy I met outside
    Arizona in 1992
    and he wasn’t happy becauses
    the cow he just shot
    ate a human being
    with a ghost spirit\
    along the mathematical
    poltergeist apparatuses
    of fucking Preet Bharara

  48. Preet Bharara soup:

    -set a pan on a stove at medium temp while you are free to get fucked up
    -add some fucking vegetable base because these can’t go to prison under Preet Bharara
    -add some fucking mushrooms that are unmagival because these can’t go to prison under Preet Bharara
    -add some fucking simple onions because even though TRUMP loves to chase down potheads even Preet Bharara
    will protect onions
    -add some fucking naivety
    -and simmer solstice
    -and some agile cybrorg FUCK YOU spice
    -and add some Kellyanne Conway to make it all better
    – finally twine some sweet spice ENB to pull the soup into America Freedom Stew!!!!!!!!!!!

    mix it all together and if every single motherfucker ate a bowl of this on the earth the entire globe would fucking
    spit a middle finger at space and get free from the MILKYWAY
    AND FUCKING FREEDOM WOULD GO SPACE WIDE!!!!!!

  49. Preet Bharara I would send into the asshole of a gigantic white bear
    running around on the top or bottom of this marble

    Preet Bharara is the perfect name Agile just sent into deep space to be haunted by space hammers and basement poltergeists because Preet Bharara is a horrible FUCKING human being that deserves like all federal agents hunting poets and line spinners in a FREE country to get plugged in the head by a REAL bitching target shat from the simple cock of Putin.

    Preet Bharara, FUCK YOU

  50. Preet Bharara
    a federal cactus
    growing tall in that
    powerful steel creature
    called American Fed

    Preet Preet Bharara
    a fucking real goddamn
    hunter of FUCKING speech
    who won awards stuck on his
    skinny chest by Jake Tapper
    and awarded by a blowjob
    slopped by Andersen Cooper

    Preet SPREET Braharabrarahrabra
    you FUCKING ANTI FUCKING AMERICAN
    shit fucker

    AGILE CYBORG HATES PREET
    BECAUSE PREET BHARARA HATES
    AMERICAN FREEDOM AND SINCE TRUMP
    LIKES THIS FUCKING FOOL TRUMP
    HATES FREEDOM

    jesus fucking christ what the FUCK did you
    people vote to crush agile’s skull?

  51. Preet Bharara, Agile Cyborg would like to pull up and bank with your fucking India-nigger ass.

    Agile Cyborg, right now, calls out this fucking federalist bully for a fucking fisticuff.

    Once, you used the motherfucking super power status of my country against my countrymen-
    right now Agile Cyborg calls out Preet Bharara for a fair FUCKING fight WITHOUT
    the FUCKING jet strikes and dungeon magic of your police state to protect you…

    Agile Cyborg brings a sweet hay maker and a gentle look into the purple haze you
    FUCKING TRUMP DICK SUCKER….

    never mistake Agile Cyborg….
    I will fucking fight the feds in a FAIR fight
    I promise you I will win
    because I eat lizards, poltergeists, red cabbage, Jim Harrison balls, and angel assholes
    I will fucking beat the FUCK out of Preet Bharara

  52. No comment.

    OK, I’m late. So sue me.

  53. Fucking remove the goddamn infernal ratty nasty shitty disease chains of infinite dictatorship from federalize human beings who rimp and romp in the playgrounds of life destruction…
    fucking remove that….
    and then be a Preet Bharara smashing his shitty bullshit against freedom embracing American trippers like Agile Cyborg on some fucking lonely street on a swirling space station or down the fucking road from me….

    Remove the stuffy creepy goldfishes
    and swing at me, Preet
    I could beat the FUCK out of you
    and wouldn’t because I am better than you who
    used the FUCKING federal government of the most
    powerful country on earth to FUCK with my friends
    because your brain is stupid like the rest of your
    goddamn ilk which hasn’t the fucking slightest
    goddamn clue about red horizons or floating eyes
    in the deep swamps or lost dogs crying for papa
    or Canettis Crowds or Ayn.
    you fucking Preet bitch.

  54. so is trump going to interview everyone’s nemesis?

    1. Get all those knuckleheads out of the way and give them hope that they will be relevant again.

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  56. Yeah, I remember this guy. He waved a piece of paper at the Reason foundation and they immediately rolled over and provided commentor information. Asking for money because you turned in the identities of some of the posters doesn’t seem like the best way to collect donations, but fools and their money are soon parted.

    1. One doesn’t lose virtue or honor by complying with a gun pointed at their head… (Though I will concede greater units of virtue and honor might be attained by accepting death and eating the bullet rather than being coerced into unseemly deeds by threat of violence.)

      Most people comply with coercion stemming from threats of imminent violence, this does not strip them of their honor; the viciousness of the act can be placed solely at the feet of the instigator.

  57. Yeah, I broke down and donated. As bad as some of the article writers can be, some are pretty solid, and the comments are just too much fun. Also, that Reason shirt better be nice and those better be some good books.

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