Killer Mike Offers Self-Righteousness for Sale Package
The famed rapper and activist promises to care for cash.


Ever tried to bring attention to an issue close to your heart, but didn't quite have the star power to do it? Well fret no more because rap supergroup Run the Jewels is here to help.
Through the music website Daylight Curfew, the famed duo of Killer Mike and El-P are offering an exclusive "Self-Righteousness for Sale" package, where for the price of $350,000, the two artists promise to spend six months "pretending to care about whatever you care about."
This pretending to care will include "eloquent and timely speeches," a co-authored info packet, a "heartfelt" video about the purchaser's cause, and travel to a maximum of three events. As if all of this weren't enough for any cash-laden social justice warrior, Run the Jewels will even compose an original song entitled "WE'VE GOT TO BRING _______ TO AN END" as part of the package.
Some terms and conditions do apply. The offer is apparently not available to "terrorists or cops" (sorry, #bluelivesmatter). Run the Jewels also reserves the right to "not fulfill any of its obligations as outlined in any package priced at 35k or more" which would, of course, include the self-righteousness package.
Run the Jewels' offer to basically be a super PAC for hire, even if not actually redeemable, is patently hilariously and an excellent send-up of so much of today's celebrity activism.
It's also a little bit ironic given that Killer Mike was a vocal supporter of former presidential candidate and vociferous super PAC critic Sen. Bernie Sanders (I–Vt.). If Sanders had his druthers when it came to campaign finance restrictions, Run the Jewels' self-righteousness package might be illegal as well as phony.
Update 11/17/16: This article originally listed Sanders as a Democrat. He is apparently still an Independent.
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I have no idea who these people are, or why their pretending to car would be worth over a third of a million dollars to me.
Pictured: UnCivilServant
He would never do something so gauche as yell. Merely comment under his breath about the clouds today and their patterns.
UCS doesn't like clouds.
Actually I love clouds.
Clouds blot out the sun.
Clouds bring the rain.
Clouds make me happy.
False. You don't like loving anything.
Are you only happy when you're accusing me of not liking anything?
No, but it does pass the time. Do you... do you not like when i point out the completely factual situation of you not liking anything?
It gets a little repeditive at times.
[citation needed]
You do keep saying things that contribute to your reputation as Mr. Gloomy who doesn't like anything that isn't bland and dull. You are just going to have to deal with some good natured ribbing.
To be fair, he would dislike it if you didn't point out the fact that he doesn't like anything.
He's only happy when it rains.
I don't have jaundice.
Drink more.
Then it almost certainly wouldn't be worth $350k to you.
Killer Mike
Oh, FFS!
Don't look at me bro.
Run the Jewels will even compose an original song entitled "WE'VE GOT TO BRING _______ TO AN END" as part of the package.
Entropy.
Hah!
For $350K, there's got to be some haggling involved, right?
I want a song entitled "WE'VE TO BRING_______ TO AN END" on an album titled "DROP THE VERB".
Also, I'm fine if they don't want to shout either title.
This is funny.
"Bernie Sanders Wants Donald Trump to Apologize"
[...]
"Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders called on Donald Trump to apologize for his inflammatory rhetoric during the presidential campaign and asked him cut ties with campaign CEO Steve Bannon."
http://fortune.com/2016/11/17/.....s-apology/
Trump tells Sanders to apologize for the stupid and STFU.
Now that's better.
Too bad Trump is 70. If he were more tech savvy, he could rig his phone to play "Elections have consequences" at a touch of a button and answer every question with it.
Run the Jewels will even compose an original song entitled "WE'VE GOT TO BRING _______ TO AN END" as part of the package.
The Classification of Deep Dish As Pizza
*narrows gaze*
*flips open Lou Malnati's menu*
alt-text: "Some call Bernie one-dimensional. They're wrong."
He's null-dimensional?
You don't necessarily need more than one dimension when there are hungry children in this country.
If we had eleven dimensions there would be string cheese for everyone!
/drunk cosmologist
I tried to get something like this going before these Bern victims did, but i don't have the name recognition to pull it off. I can't even get Busdriver to return my calls.
I tried to hire Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones
.
But all I could afford was a polish wedding band.
Nick Jagorski and the Strolling Tones.
I just heard "kill your employer". For the first time this morning. I'm not an expert, but he's technically the best rapper I've ever heard.
Hah!
Killer Mike is actually a pretty good rapper. The track "Run the Jewels" is excellent.
"Jewels" huh? Anti-semite dog whistle.
El-P is talented as well. I'll Sleep When You're Dead is a bangin' album.
Yeah it is! I wouldn't put those guys in charge of economic policy, but they can rap.
El-Producto is a national treasure going back to his days with Company Flow.
Says the guy with the deep house nick on a Libertarian site.
I see hip people.
RE: Killer Mike Offers Self-Righteousness for Sale Package
The famed rapper and activist promises to care for cash.
This has already been done.
We already have activists who promise to care for cash.
They're called democrats and republicans.
I'll care for $250,000 and will give you a discount and only charge $300,000 for a whole year****
**** This is my basic "I care" package. Contact me for my deluxe and gold "I care" packages
I'll care for $250,000 and will give you a discount and only charge $300,000 for a whole year****
**** This is my basic "I care" package. Contact me for my deluxe and gold "I care" packages
Do you have any other sales today?
I couldn't believe it until I looked at my paycheck, but I'll care for $250,000 and will give you a discount and only charge $300,000 for a whole year on the internet. My best friend's sister's daughter just bought a Camaro.
My mothers neighbour is working part time and averaging $9000 a month. I'm a single mum and just got my first paycheck for $6546! I still can't believe it. I tried it out cause I got really desperate and now I couldn't be happier. Heres what I do,
----------------- http://YoutubeJobs.Nypost55.com
That's some good trolling. At least, I assume they're trolling.
I think its great. If anyone has that much money and that little sense, this is far from the worst way they could spend it.
It would be pretty damn funny if the KKK or David Duke hands them a check for $350,000.
This was from 2 years ago. They offered a bunch of joke bonuses with their 2014 album, which was released completely for free but also sold over 100,000 paid units and millions in merch and concert tickets.
Someone famously ran a successful Kickstarter to fund one of their joke offers, and they fulfilled it and donate all proceeds (including the cat merchandise) to victims of police brutality. That of course, was the project Meow the Jewels which was a remix album made completely from cat sounds and was a volunteer collaboration with several well-known ( Just Blaze, Prince Paul, Alchemist, Geoff Barrow) producers.
I would think Reason would be more up on this, especially since (among other things) they donated a hell of a lot of money to victims and legal opponents of police brutality, and Killer Mike is a Sanders supporter who also believes very strongly in capitalism/entrepreneurship (he owns several barbershops and has led a black banking and local credit union and movement) and 2nd Amendment. He considers guys like Neal Boortz as friends and does not want anyone to take his guns. Not a typical modern liberal. Also, Killer Mike was mentioned in the Wikileaks of the Hillary Clinton emails and he sold a t-shirt of the email.
I've been a fan of El-P for 20 years but the dude has gone full SJW lately, donating loads of money to Planned Parenthood, making his twitter private and declaring that he will no longer wear red hats due to triggering Trump opponents.