When Kmele Met Denzel, Terrorism Met Shrugs, and Skittles Met Kristallnacht: The New Fifth Column

Guest Josh Zepps talks the trio through the tensions between constitutionalism and police power, speculation and irresponsibility, normal human beings and two-party politics.

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Josh Zepps, host of the (Reason-friendly) podcast WTP_Live, and former (Reason-friendly) host over at HuffPost Live, joins The Fifth Column this week to chew over the smorgasbord of available news, including:

* Tulsa cops shooting and killing the unarmed Terence Crutcher.

* Authorities shooting and not killing Ahmad Rahami, the suspected pressure-cooker bomber of Jersey/Chelsea.

* The media hyperventilating over both of the above.

* Skittles.

* Gary Johnson.

* Hitler.

* Carl Bernstein's fantasy life.

* An unsuspecting Kmele Foster being bum-rushed in a red-carpet situation by Denzel Washington. Wait, what?

The latter is actually true—I've seen video evidence—and it kicks off the podcast, which you can listen to in full:

Here are the places you can download, interact with, recommend to your friends about, write glowing reviews of, and submit your fan-art to The Fifth Column: iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, wethefifth.com, @wethefifth, and Facebook.

Comments

[The Elite Elite]

First?

[Elspeth Flashman]

Apparently this seems like a early PM links or something, what what?

[Heroic Mulatto]

I feel sorry for Skittles. First Trayvon, and now this. Can’t a candy catch a break?

[Rich]

Bad publicity is still publicity.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Tell that to British Petroleum (BP).

[Florida Hipster]

Flavoraid. They killed people and couldn’t capture a market share.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

How’s Union Carbide doing these days?

[The Elite Elite]

Sour Skittles is better anyway.

[Hyperion]

Where’s that video?

[GILMORE?]

former… host over at HuffPost Live

If the expression, “I am not going to enact that labor for you“ goes unused during this podcast, i will cry

[OldMexican sine qua non]

KMELE!

[Florida Hipster]

Why didn’t he run for president? Too busy counting his money? Selfish Kmele. I want to be happy to vote for someone for a change.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Why didn’t he run for president?

He’s afraid of ferrets.

[Matt Welch]

Don’t think he was old enough this time. We’re working on him for 2020, but he’s just so shy.

[The Elite Elite]

Will you be his running mate?

[Idle Hands]

Foster is going to need a midwesterner as his VP, for some reason I don’t see Moynihan or Welch as too appealing to voters in the south or midwest. Think about the big picture.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

I don’t see Moynihan or Welch as too appealing…

FULL STOP.

[Idle Hands]

you do have somewhat of a point in that they both probably have a hard ceiling on popularity. I mean Moynihan can’t go a week without offending someone with one of his tweets or articles.

[Florida Hipster]

I would donate money and time for a Foster/Moynihan ticket.

[Idle Hands]

So would I but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it could win. Although Foster could be bulletproof, politically.

[Florida Hipster]

I doubt anyone could win as a L, so I might as well pick a dream team.

[wareagle]

hasn’t this campaign made offending tweets a feature?

[DEATFBIRSECIA]

Fucking tedious. This is more chatty than Penn’s Sunday School for Gawd’s sake! I hungin there for about five minutes, and it was Kmele’s brush with Denzel, just going on and on.

Yeah, I’m afraid not.

[DEATFBIRSECIA]

7:15 – “Just to clarify, is this whole show about Denzel Washington?”

[Homple]

Podcasters usually spend far too much time on chatty irrelevance, especially in the opening. If a podcast doesn’t get to the point in 3 minutes, I bail.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

It does take about 20 minutes in for the discussion to settle down and get into the meat and potatoes.

[GILMORE?]

That’s what she said

[John]

https://pjmedia.com/instapundit/244469/#respond

I never really cared that Anthony Weiner was out cruising the internet for chicks. The poor bastard was a beard for Hillary’s lesbian lover. He had get to get laid somehow. This, however, is something totally different. Last I looked soliciting sex from a minor on the internet was a felony. You know hat whole “To Catch a Predator” and all that. What a fucking scumbag.

[Hyperion]

Those laws are only for the peasants. If they started enforcing stuff like that on the political class, we’d have no government left. What are you, some kind of anarchist?

[DEATFBIRSECIA]

“I would bust that tight pussy.”

Jesus Fucking Christ.

[Heroic Mulatto]

T-Dog.
T.
Dog.

[Idle Hands]

gotta admit I like it better than Carlos Danger.

[Heroic Mulatto]

It is easier to drunk-yell.

“TTTTTTTTTTTT-DAAAAAWWWWWWWWGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!“

[Lee Genes]

Theodore Douglas does not approve.

[Cynical Asshole]

T-Dog.

[Florida Hipster]

I think you’re over reacting. Who hasn’t asked a minor to dress as a school girl for a rape fantasy? Move along.

[GILMORE?]

well, sure, but…. oh wait, i thought you said “A Miner“.

[Florida Hipster]

That’s the version where the school girl rapes you…or so I’m told.

[SugarFree]

I thought it was when you reverse-cowgirled a pickax.

[Florida Hipster]

Well there goes my weird boner, and here comes my violent boner.

[commodious is bimbing dickos]

“I got the black cock, pa.”

[Heroic Mulatto]

There goes Gilmore and his West Virginia fetish again.

[GILMORE?]

Banjophilia is a real thing

[Lee Genes]

-1 Squeal

[Crusty Juggler]

Celebrating a sports victory by burning a couch is pretty damn cool.

[GILMORE?]

Recall his frequent guest-appearances on The Independents?

I do. I always felt the need to de-grease & fumigate things after them.

[Idle Hands]

I don’t disagree but I would like to add that it doesn’t appear he actually has sex with the people he messages with he just gets off on the attention. It’s beyond pathetic. To think that this freak was an up-incoming political star is just startling and shows just how lame politics is.

[Crusty Juggler]

He’s just a lonely guy, desperate for attention, stimulating himself with electronic conversation; that part of it isn’t so bad. He does seem to make poor choices with who he stimulates himself with, though.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

The sending of dick pics to, apparently, anyone who has ever texted him, seems a little out of control.

[Crusty Juggler]

I did not mean to downplay it. It is pathetic how desperately he needs his ego stroked.

[Homple]

It wasn’t his ego that he was stroking.

[Chipwooder]

If you’re a Dem, it’s all good. Here in Richmond, we have our own version of Anthony Weiner named Joe Morrisey. He used to be the Commonwealth’s Attorney (VA version of a DA) for Richmond and a member of the House of Delegates. Once upon a time, he was disbarred for an assault conviction among other scrapes with the law, but somehow got his law license reinstated. Most recently, he won a special election for the House while serving a 6 month sentence for contributing to the delinquency of a minor (was banging a 17 year old office assistant who has since married his 58 year old ass). He was never caught any other time, but long before this there were stories about his fancy for teenaged girls. Now he’s a leading candidate for mayor of Richmond.

[Lee Genes]

I had forgotten about Immortal Joe, man of many career resurrections.

[Cynical Asshole]

was banging a 17 year old office assistant who has since married his 58 year old ass

Don’t hate the player, hat the game?

[Cynical Asshole]

Somebody get Chris Hansen on the line, quick.

[Idle Hands]

If your going to do guests your going to have to eliminate someone from the conversation three people talking is hard enough, with four it gets very messy.

[Crusty Juggler]

Would, would, wouldn’t.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Oh, come on, after a few drinks, maybe if you were away from home?

You know you would.

[Homple]

I wonder what would, would and wouldn’t might say if they got a look at Crusty,

[Idle Hands]

I’m gonna say Megan is going to be a hard no.

[Crusty Juggler]

If I had Kmele’s eyes on me I would melt with glee.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Hopefully this episode doesn’t have Darth Vader breathing into a mic.

[Lee Genes]

That was just Anthony Weiner

[Citizen X]

Quit being such a Sith-het shitlord.

[Col. Chestbridge]

What’s with all the requests for fan art?

[GILMORE?]

I’m 60% of the way through this and the whole thing is basically open-ending rambling about “media-speculation” re: the NY bomber-guy

I feel for Zepps. He should have at least been provided beer.

I agree with Kmele on the point re: Chelsea = its not as “gay” as everyone acts. Its just a neighborhood and isn’t synonymous with homosexuality anymore; most particular that particular block on 23rd, which is debatable for even being included in the ‘cultural’ boundaries of Chelsea. Its West 23rd, which is really just commercial block. Its no more or less ‘gay’ than any other block in NY. You might as well speculate that he has a deep hatred for *the blind*.