What Should We Do About Suspicious Muslims?

Tom Shillue asks, Matt Welch answers, on Fox News' Red Eye at 3 a.m.


||| Fox News Fan
Fox News Fan

What can we learn from the fact that a half-dozen Muslim terrorists on American soil had gotten onto the radar screen of U.S. law enforcement before committing their foul deeds? One lesson, as Scott Shackford has observed in these pages, is that the seeming detection failures of targeted investigations render absurd all the time wasted on dumb, constitutionally questionable mass surveillance. But that still leaves the Monday-morning quarterback questions of did the FBI blow it, and what could law enforcement do differently?

We chew on these subjects and more on tonight's Red Eye w/ Tom Shillue at 3 a.m. on Fox News, where I will be panelizing along with comedians Alli Breen and Sam Roberts, and Fox News contributor Pete Hegseth. Other topics include whether Jack Shafer is an American hero or anti-hysteria hysteric (or both), and whether this barftastic Joss Whedon celebrity vote-against-Trump ad will turn us all into alt-righties sooner rather than later.

To whet your late-night appetite, here's the last time I appeared on Red Eye:

NEXT: Vegas Police Union Wants Black Lives Matter Pins Banned From Courtrooms

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  1. Depends on what they find suspicious, I guess.

    1. My last pay check was $9500 working 12 hours a week online. My sisters friend has been averaging 15k for months now and she works about 20 hours a week. I can’t believe how easy it was once I tried it out. This is what I do,

      1. I find your pitch suspicious!

  2. Fuck Islam. and goddamn geeks have slit the throats of the fucking cpu village, bitch, with their silicone valley craptesticles.

    1. Meh. Now you’re just trying too hard. Whatever.

    1. I laughed at that pretty intensely. Would posting it on Facebook earn one a ban?

    2. Uh, that depicted an act of mass murder done by the government of King’s Landing.

      1. That’s what they want you to think.


  3. Islam should be trusted like goddamn altar calls in Christian camps with their fucking pastoral messages of obedience to the Christian state and dungeons run by goddamn sheriffs who love blood bent under the will of autocracy.

    So goes Islamic wince so goes the hell of the Coulters and Limbaughs. It is all the same autocratic staple driven into the forehead of liberty while communism waits in the wings…

    freedom has no angels and liberty has lost her clouds and astro cyborgs.

    1. “Freedom has no angels.”

      Goddamn that is beautiful, Agile. All angels have ulterior motives.

  4. Just let us live without the neck shiv of Marx, Jesus, and fucking Mohammed and the world will blend like a milkshake of gentle brooks and old memories.

  5. I just watched that cringy anti-Trump ad. How embarrassing. And then I realized I haven’t been to the movie theater in a loooong time. None of these people matter to me in any way, except for Keegan-Michael Key, who used to make me laugh. Eh, fuck him, too.

  6. If you think Islam has place in American society then kick the Christians in the neck and drag the children of muslims into the square and shove CNN into their assholes while lighting them up on the New York Times of reveals.

    Goddamn Christians in this country are fucking shit weaving hell slaves bent over the knees of socialist jargon Kings while Islam skates by on rainbow twinkies and forget baskets.

  7. If you cannot en masse smash all the Christian ideologies all across the nation’s screens and make Christians feel like whores spent on Agile’s dick while smearing the followers of the fucking Mohammed meister and his superlicious bullshit palace towering strange malls and female ninja swarms while laughing hysterically at Agile fucking all the goddamn burka babes….. then freedom is dead in America.

    Christians will tolerate Reason far more than the vast hells of Islamic countries. And Agile will also be killed by fucking retarded shit stabbing fuckhead weirdo Saudi Arabian assassin state killer fuck twink.

    goddamn strange place this globe

  8. What to do with Muslims?

    I thought we settled this problem here in the world’s best comments section.

    Serve pork and allow pigs to roam free.

    Now can we get back to OUR own problems? We have a few issues we need to iron out around here.

    Starting with…

    1. Had some poutine the other day…my god how awesome it was.

    2. Starting with…


  9. treat fucking all humans like bitches stepping across the goddamn garden line.
    ask, inquire, press, ponder, and then only fucking get physical when the infringer steals your
    fucking cauliflower without the fucking asking nicely to ingest and swallow said cauliflower-

    or, oops. did this free country forget that manners are sort of required when bitches wish
    to survive on your hard jazz?

    First off, what does suspicious even fucking mean if one is prone toward gentle languid? Or if one is prone to sylvester/alien bitches with blue metal anger? an anger generally geared toward low IQ cops and lost boys but I won’t stall that ship with extra details because if that book isn’t written I see no reason to introduce the world to this exercise in odd closets.

    1. did this free country forget that manners are sort of required when bitches wish
      to survive on your hard jazz?

  10. What should we do about the police? What should we do about the rabble rousers in the anti-police demonstrations? What should we do about the kids we teach to shoot and then they just want to show off their skillz? And who will protect me from the illegalz gonna rape me?

  11. What Should We Do About Suspicious Muslims?

    How about:

    Shave their beards with a rusty razor


    Put ’em in a longboat ’til they’re sober


    Stick him in a barrel with a hosepipe on him


    Put him in the bed with the captains daughter

    Way hey up she rises
    Way hey up she rises
    Way hey up she rises
    Early in the Morning

    …I think I’m answering the wrong question

    1. Wait. We’re supposed to shave their beards with a rusty razor? I thought we were supposed to shave their bellies with a rusty razor.

      Sea shanties probably aren’t the best form of communication. Although I can recognize that

      Feed him to the hungry rats for dinner
      Feed him to the hungry rats for dinner
      Feed him to the hungry rats for dinner

      Is a video game invention. Probably.

  12. So let us see, Islam has a fucking problem with creating a billion strong fucking geographical errors of hell filled with blood-stained dungeons where heads chipped off roll all over the public squares like on picnic day where Islam dad forgot the Fallujah mustard for the headless pig dogs and shit and so on.

    HOW to act around suspicious Pentecostals?

    HOW to act around deranged fully immersed tripping encompassing real deal melt stack what the fuck are you really going to buy a ticket into pathology from verses? shit.

    Good luck… I once saw my friend girl in Libbey high school get train fucked in a garage alongside the marble edifice of education… she consented to tons of black cock to penetrate her mouth asshole and pussy under a full moon next to a creek and while the ghetto levis fucked her in all the holes she leaked lightning because her finger accidentally slipped into a light socket and all the fuckers and dicks screamed and scrammed while she was lit up like a fucking
    boat of sliver lights and all the cum was like measured in gallons because the electricity pulled the goddamn cum from all the dicks and it all went like a fucking spray….

    in 1988 she got high and maybe did some smack in history and afterward stood on top of a wall and screamed about all her trains and I grabbed at her knees to no avail and then ran because of the rain

    1. Jesus Christ.

  13. Religion is all the same hells and heavens, sister. Gods share the damn same dungeons and torture chambers and prisons.

    Islam is christian and Chinese communism and Catholicism walls and all the dark manifestations of hells and dead visions… death fungus comes into the countries politics the same way always- i am religion so bow, you fucking slaves.

  14. What Should We Do About Suspicious Muslims?

    What should we do about maintaining liberty, citizens of freedom?
    What should we do about lowering the insanity of government incursions into normal life, citizen?
    What should we do about fucking making the police state not act like a dick like it did on the Dana Loesch show earlier tonight? Because she is evidently a fucking cunt that cannot handle a Super Dooper Black John Wayne tripping on Hell juice. FUcking dumb fuck radio shit eater.

  15. I laughed at “Mormon Colonel Sanders,” and I am stealing it.

  16. I don’t think anything needs to be done to suspicious Muslims. However, there ought to be stern warning that the response to the next jihadi attack will be bombing Mecca off the face of the earth with a cobalt-60 bomb so no living thing will be able to go near it for 50 years, then burying the ruins under 100 ft of pig shit.

    I realize my views are not popular…

    1. Meh, the Saudis have already turned Mecca into the Muslim version of Las Vegas, and demolished everything of historic significance in order to prevent idolatry, and build a new hotel over a previously sacred landmark.

      If we nuked Mecca, half the Islamic world would cheer us on, while the other half would use it as a reason to justify killing Americans.

  17. Make them watch this repeatedly until they go mad…and harmless.

  18. You can get bespoke toilet paper online.

    1. I don’t get all the late night music videos. But this seems appropriate.

    2. *Not available in Venezuela

  19. In fact, our own military who served in Iraq and Syria are more dangerous than ‘suspicious Muslims’. We must accept both.

    1. American military is a fuck ton of goddamn problems, son- but Islam the hardcore state is nothing no one should accept as legit. And agile states this full aware of the failings of the fucking socialists and Christians constantly shredding the free state.

      Never fucking pretend to post shit and own it like a full philosopher unless your goddamn words scream freedom, bitch.

      I accept nothing you state without revealed truth, dawa.

      1. Trumpkinism is more dangerous than can be dreampt of in the Islamic theosophies. – Truth revealed.

        1. Trump is the failed ship on a pond whereas Islam is a fleet of hell on the oceans of human strive…
          Trump, Hillarity, Islam, and Christianity combined rapes the cunt of freedom into abstruse submissions while her old guard ninjas save the liberty queen by dragging her behind the old caves and away from the world you fucking people call today and hells…

        2. That piece of shit book you’ve been working on for five years isn’t going to just magically finish itself, fuckface.

  20. Safety brinks the frawn of frozen glib ghettos carving frown lids outside the ginger stars, man. where the eventual super drones click inside narrow delight and suns spilling into the lost cabins where the travelers slipped down into the eternal crevice and a lonely guide cried and broke a leg running into the next gone.

  21. I really shouldn’t provide you with this seriously NSFW link.

  22. if you tilt all this shit upside down you can run a horse alongside for a fucking moment but if you run him too long the fucker will kick you in the head which is not pleasing for the fucking shit

    1. Kick it at 45?

  23. I’m interested in this statement I just read at the WSJ:

    “Over the last two years the FBI has thwarted attacks by more than 90 HVEs [Homegrown Violent Extremists]”.


    Where did they get that number?

    Does that include the Bundy’s and their associates in Oregon?

    1. FBI is a ship of fools run by the deity alarm of any fuck admin current to now.

      1. FBI solves convenient shit serving nominal purposes and glides like a foolish dancer on the bodies of those it failed to protect when the cameras get nation-like and alone. FBI is a modern trajectory prince lofted on seminal moments and drifted without aim or courage after the falls.

          1. waffles for the kill shot. What a square thing to do for such a prolific Burning Man attendee.

    2. FBI’s Troubling History of Missing Terrorists (June 2016)


      At the end of this piece, the authors writes: “There is a troubling pattern of the FBI knowing about terrorists, and doing very little to keep tabs on them or stop them. In the aftermath of Orlando, perhaps enough pressure will be placed on the bureau to take these threats more seriously.”

      The events leading up to last week’s terrorist attacks along the east coast we’ve learned that the FBI continue to not take these types of threats seriously.

  24. Stephen Decatur can handle them.

  25. That’s one less TV program I need to worry about.

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