11 Oakland Cops Disciplined Over Prostitution Scandal Involving Exploited Teen

Four Oakland police officers have been fired and seven others suspended without pay.



While Celeste Guap sits in a Florida prison on aggravated battery charges, most of the California cops who allegedly exploited her get to carry on with their lives like nothing happened. But in Oakland, where the whole sordid ordeal started, some sort of justice may finally being served. On Wednesday, Mayor Libby Schaaf held a press conference to announce that four Oakland officers had been fired in conjunction with Guap's allegations and an additional seven officers had been suspended without pay.

The firings and suspensions should send "a loud and clear message that we hold our officers to nothing but the highest standards of professionalism and integrity," said Schaaf.

Better late than never, I guess? The Oakland Police Department (OPD) has been plagued with abuse and corruption going back at least two decades.

This latest round started last autumn, when Guap texted the OPD chief claiming to have hooked up with several Oakland cops—starting with Officer Brendan O'Brien—in exchange for either money or protection from prostitution stings. Guap sent a screenshot of the text to O'Brien, who committed suicide a few hours later.

O'Brien apparently met Guap—then just 17-years-old—when she was fleeing an abusive pimp. O'Brien "saved me," Guap told CNN. "Instead of taking me to jail, we just kind of started something there, you know."

At the time, Guap would have been defined under federal law as a victim of sex trafficking even if no violence or coercion was involved, because she was selling sex while under age 18. But Guap's case wasn't simply statutory sex-trafficking; she claims to have been exploited and abused by a violent individual, too. Yet none of this mattered—Guap (like so many others in her situation) still faced arrest for prostitution, because that's how our "criminal justice" system works. And because she faced arrest for prostitution, she also became vulnerable to sexual exploitation and abuse by police.

Ultimately, Guap claimed that she slept with more than 30 police officers spanning five departments: Oakland, San Francisco, Contra Costa County, Alameda County, and Richmond. Many of these areas, including Oakland, have been extremely active at prosecuting prostitution, shaming "johns," and claiming to crack down on teen sex-trafficking.

Regarding Guap's allegations, internal investigations at most of the departments yielded nothing. But activists and civil-rights attorneys have been questioning the impartiality and legitimacy of such intra-agency investigations. They're calling on the state to intervene by consolidating and investigating Guap's claims.

For now, only Oakland officers face dicipline—a start, at least.

Oakland City Administrator Sabrena Landreth said that each of the four fired officers "was found to have committed one or more of the following offenses: attempted sexual assault, engaging in lewd conduct in public assisting in the crime of prostitution, assisting in the evading of arrest for the crime of prostitution, accessing law enforcement databases for personal gain, being untruthful to investigators, failing to report a violation of law or rules by not reporting allegations of a minor having sexual contact with Oakland police officers, and bringing and disrepute to the Oakland Police Department." The seven suspended officers were found to have accessed law enforcement databases for personal gain, been untruthful to investigators, failed to report a violation of law, and brought disrepute to the department.

Criminal charges may be forthcoming. Schaff said District Attorney Nancy O'Malley was still conducting a criminal investigation, but "we have reason to believe she will be making determinations relatively soon."

In June, the OPD Police Chief whom Guap had first texted resigned. He was replaced with an interim chief. Then Mayor Schaff removed him six days later and appointed a new new interim chief.

In late August, Guap flew to Florida to seek treatment for drug addiction at a residential facility. She and her mother claimed the stay was paid for by the Richmond Police Department (RPD) victims' fund and that she had been escorted to the airport by an officer from the agency. RPD said last week it cannot comment on these claims.

Within a few days of her arrival at the treatment center, Guap allegedly became agitated, left the facility, and began flashing passing cars, staff told police. After coming back inside on her own, she was restrained by the facility's security staff and bit one of them—prompting a call to the Martin County Sheriff's Office. She is currently being held in the Martin County Jail on a $300,000 bond.

Attorney Pamela Price is now representing Guap and is seeking donations to help defray "medical and legal expenses." Additionally, Guap's mother, with the aid of the sex-worker activist community, is running a crowdfunding campaign to help "free Celeste."

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  1. On Wednesday, Mayor Libby Schaaf held a press conference to announce that four Oakland officers had been fired in conjunction with Guap’s allegations and an additional seven officers had been suspended without pay.

    Is Oakland budgeting for all that eventual back pay?

    1. Whoa, horse. There’s a process here:

      The backpay will be bundled into same budget item that covers the out-of-court settlement that lets cops escape criminal or civil penalty, this way inconvenient votes etc. by whatever council doles the cash out can be kept to just one.

      Plus, the settlement shouldn’t be done for a year or so, letting everyone forget a little and affords the cops a nice interim sabbatical.

    2. OT: Overnight, the Clinton Foundation has gone from being on Charity Navigator’s donor watchlist to a four star rating. Nope, nothing odd about this at all!

      1. I gotta say Team Blue does have the best team players

    3. Without pay? How Cruel and Unusual!

  2. So “human trafficking” not a chargeable offense if you’re a cop huh? Where is the pants shitting over this?

    1. And Oakland has been one of the angencies biggest about conflating all prostitution with trafficking and running ‘awareness’ campaigns about how you shouldn’t sleep with teens

      1. Well, technically, it’s true. “You” shouldn’t. But they can.

        1. It’s good to be the King’s Men.

      2. That does not surprise me.

    2. Um… Some animals are more equal than others?

  3. Like all rapists, I hope these cops face the ultimate punishment–losing their jobs and collecting only a partially-vested pension.

    1. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let’s not rush to judgment here, Hugh Akton.

    2. Just the 4.

      The other 7 got unscheduled vacations, where they can draw down comp time and still get paid.

    3. I think that modifier might be misplaced

      1. Hahaha. High Five.

        And you’re probably right.

  4. What a fucking trainwreck.

  5. Criminal charges may be forthcoming.

    I won’t hold my breath

  6. …Guap (like so many others in her situation) still faced arrest for prostitution, because that’s how our “criminal justice” system works.

    Like the surgeon with his scalpel, slicing into flesh to cure, police need to handcuff victims in order to help them. Until science develops new tools, that’s what we’re stuck with on both accounts.

  7. She should sue that fucking city for every dime it has.

  8. 1. I have to laugh at this broad being called exploited.
    2. Basically what’s already been said. All of these cops engaged in illegal behavior that would get a normal person in jail. Just 4 lost their jobs.

    1. Yep, she had to have sex with a bunch of cops or else they would toss her in jail, and ENB somehow thinks that “exploitation”? So lulzzzzzzzzzzy.

      1. She was a prostitute who sold her services to cops for favors. And from everything I’ve heard (granted, I haven’t studied this case), she initially ended up sleeping with a cop who was a friend of her moms. It wasn’t like they busted her and said suck our dicks or we are going to charge you. She was very willing and exploited her connections to max benefit.

        1. If you read the post above, you’ll learn that she initially ended up sleeping with a cop who found her fleeing an abusive pimp and knew she was selling sex, and then said instead of going to jail they could start a relationship, and then told all his buddies about her

          1. Dirtbags gonna dirtbag.

            1. We’re talking about Brochettaward now, right?

              1. Brochettaward may be, and probably is, a dirtbag, but the level of dirtbaggishness available to cops is a whole nother thing than run of the mill civilian dirtbaggery.

              2. Sorry, I left my pearls at home. I have nothing to clutch here.

                At no point did I condone the behavior of the cops. I simply questioned painting Guap as some innocent victim in all of this.

              3. She’s probably an illegal anyway, so who cares?

                1. So she took a job that by rights should have gone to a natural-born American underage prostitute? Does Donald Trump know about this?!?

                2. What’s funny is that in person some of those illegal-hating redneck Trump supporters are probably some of the most compassionate individuals you could meet. To include to illegals.

                  Where as the average prog/cosmo I know can’t talk about the issue without starting off on how they are taking jobs no one else wants and who else is going to come and be their domestic help…

          2. One thing to bear in mind:

            The scandal become public with a screen shot of a text message exchange beign sent to the chief of police. She took the screen shot and sent it.

            She did it as an act of revenge. She wanted a ride late at night from the cop who ended up killing himself, and he either ignored or didn’t notice her texts. This lack of response infuriated her and she pulled the trigger on her threat to take him down if he didn’t pay attention to her.

            The fact that she dropped a dime over not getting a timely response to a demand for a ride shows that there was mutual exlpoitation going on. Presumably she was OK with the sex. Presumably she didn’t mind being passed around as a fuck toy by the cops. What she did mind was her friend not responding to her texts.

            There are no good people in this drama. The guy who killed himself at least showed some shame. But otherwise, it’s all a bunch of assholes who are headed for perdition.

            1. Sure, there are no good guys.

              But I don’t expect a teenage runaway prostitute heroin addict to know any better. However, I do expect the police to know better.

              And only one of them is in jail right now.

              1. Bingo. And you don’t have to think she is some dewy-eyed child to think that adult police officers were probably the ones in control of the situation, or at the very fucking least should have not been all fucking the same underage prosititute.

                1. This. Sweet’n’Low mushroom-slaps it right on the nose.

                2. Judging by the cop who ended up blowing his brains out after his career was almost ruined, he most certainly did not seem to be in control of the situation. Nor did anyone else.

                  1. Judging by the cop who ended up blowing his brains out after his career was almost ruined, he most certainly did not seem to be in control of the situation. Nor did anyone else.

                    Gosh, it almost seems like he knew he did something wrong. But what could be wrong with fucking an underage whore? I mean, she’s just a whore, right? She deserves whatever happens to her.

                    1. So you are back to trying to pretend that is what I’m arguing. That I’m somehow defending the cops despite repeatedly stating – to include in the initial post – that they should be jailed.

                      She knew full well she could report him and he’d get the worse end of it by that stage. It doesn’t necessarily say much about how the relationship started, but it definitely indicates that at some point she felt like she was in control.

                    2. I’ll add to that the girl in question didn’t ‘deserve’ anything. Nor have I ever said or implied that.

                    3. Brochettaward, you are learning the hard way what I’ve learned: when it comes to police abuses, H&R commenters often see things in black/white, either/or terms. To then cops are always 100% wrong, and attempting to point out any voluntary contribution to the events by the other parties involved will get you abuse. Noticing nuances is often not appreciated when it comes to this topic….

                3. If they had all been fucking different underage prostitutes, that would have been better?!? 😉

              2. I count one good one. The only good Gestapo agent is… class?

        2. “Instead of taking me to jail, we just kind of started something there, you know.”

          It’s not like she was abducted by Ariel Castro, but it’s hard to believe there wasn’t an unspoken “understanding” here.

          1. Listen, you prog homo. If she didn’t want to have sex with 30 cops, then why did she grow those big fat anime tiddies?

              1. Positively cornbread-fed and hand-spanked.

              2. I thanked Harambe for his service!

                1. Is that what we’re calling it now?

            1. You are a monster.

        3. If a Nazi walks into my gay bakery and demands cake decorated with transsexual toilets and I have no legal right to say no, do I still have to pay income taxes on the profits?

          1. Of course. Regardless of anything else, Uncle Sugar needs to wet his beak.

            1. The local tax enforcement seems to be willing to take trade.

              1. You offering?

                1. To pay income taxes on my gay bakery Nazi profits in trade? Sure, why not.

          2. The answer is: I can’t say because it might involve racism and I’m too white to talk about it

    2. 1. I have to laugh at this broad being called exploited.

      You don’t think it’s exploitative for officers of the state to say fuck me or you’ll go to jail?

      1. Well, they don’t teach you to use those *exact* words in the academy.

      2. I’m with ENB on this.

        1. Yep, me too. Still, they could have added …or I’ll shoot you, use you, and you can then bleed out in jail. And it would have made no difference whatsoever in the wrist-slap and finger-wagging.

      3. I consider that exploitative. I don’t really see that in her statement. She said instead of taking her to jail, they started something. And then that something somehow ended up with her sleeping with a good chunk of the Oakland PD, as well.

        Condemning the cop doesn’t mean I have to view the 17/18 year old as some hapless victim. She’s not a criminal. But unless this was a direct I’m taking you to jail unless sexual favors are conducted, I don’t see her as exploited and I don’t see the rationale for latching onto so many others.

        1. Should rephrase that. What was written in the story: “Instead of taking me to jail, we just kind of started something there, you know.”

          She was fleeing from a pimp, ended up with this cop, and he was going to take her to jail for…what? Was there a threat, or is that just her summary of what she thought would happen going to the cops? This is a vague, generalized statement.

          As screwed up as prostitution laws may be, I really doubt a prostitute who goes to a cop would normally be at risk of arrest unless caught in the act. Which doesn’t seem to the case. The cop can definitely still manipulate and throw around threats, but again, there’s no evidence that occurred that I’ve seen.

          If her statement was uttered in court, it would require a shit ton of clarification.

          1. Oh, give me a break. If you don’t see something exploitive in that, you’re purposefully being obtuse.

            Yes, prostitutes who go to cops are often at risk of arrest. It happens all the time, if you ever paid attention to what ENB (and others who write on the subject) writes.

            1. Yea, then feel free to find me an example. Simply going to a cop and saying you have an abusive pimp isn’t going to get you arrested. As little as I think of cops, that sounds like utter bullshit. There’s nothing the cops could charge someone with in that scenario.

              If she were caught in the act of prostitution in a sting, she would definitely be under risk of arrest – underage or not. ENB has covered plenty of screwed up stories like that.

              And her own manipulative behavior was highlighted above. So you want me to read that vague statement, take it literally as if a threat was issued, and trust her.

              1. So what you’re saying that she implicitly trusted the cop, and entered into this relationship out of her own free will and not out of fear of what he could do as an officer?

                Most sex workers feel that cops are their biggest threat. Not pimps, because most of them don’t work with pimps. Not clients. Cops. Because there’s the fear of arrest and there’s the fear of “Fuck me or I’ll arrest you”. And that can go unsaid in an interaction between a cop and a sex worker. It’s understood.

                1. We are getting into prog-level derp for me if we are going to start talking about power structures and ignoring the specifics of the actual case at hand. A cop is obviously in a position of authority and power over a sex worker and in a position to abuse that.

                  It’s naive to think that a female – even a teenager – cannot exploit the same perverse system to her own benefit. Which definitely appears to be what Guap did. And despite what ENB said, Guap’s statement *does not* say that she was threatened.

      4. Has it been determined that they said that? Like for sure? Or is it just as likely that she proposed the arrangement and the piece of shit cop agreed?

        Also, is there substantive evidence that she was threatened with arrest and imprisonment if she didn’t also have sex with the others 10 cops?

        I’m asking seriously, because unless those questions can be definitively answered in the affirmative, “exploited” might require being prefaced with “allegedly”.*

        *this doesn’t excuse the cops who should be prosecuted under existing (yet immoral) prostitution laws.

        1. And should be prosecuted for sexual assault if those questions can be answered affirmatively.

        2. “Or is it just as likely that she proposed the arrangement and the piece of shit cop agreed?”

          To taking a bribe and fucking an underage prostitute?

          Doesn’t much matter to me where the idea came from.

          1. What bribe?

            But thats missing my point, Playa. I’m not addressing the legality, just whether she was really exploited. And before I declared her as such, I’d like to see ENB’s clam substantiated…especially since it contradicts Guap’s own statements on how everything unfolded.

            1. The whole argument is like some perverse twist on the nonsense put forth to justify the anti-prostitution laws in the first place. We don’t have to paint Guap as an innocent victim to condemn the behavior of the cops. Just like I don’t need to condone the behavior of prostitutes to defend their right to self-ownership.

              1. There’s that word again.

                1. Change innocent to exploited in the above. The meaning doesn’t change in any substantive way.

                  So, argue away, Sugarfree. Tell me where I’m wrong.

                  1. So non-innocent people can’t be exploited? Uh-huh. OK. Sure.

                    1. So you’d have nothing to say if that paragraph read exploited instead of “innocent?” As I said, change the word. I admit I shouldn’t have been saying ‘innocent.’ So let’s make it exploited.

                      Do you still have an issue with it?

                    2. I’d say she was exploited, at least in a legal sense given that she is under the age of consent. To say that eleven or more adult police officers exploited an underage prostitute is not some way out there stretch like you want it to be, either because you are desperate for anything to complain about in an ENB article or because whores get what they deserve.

            2. She was exploited, the cops were exploited. Everyone got exploited. But the cops are definitely the bigger criminals and assholes in this case.

              What the fuck is this argument even about?

              1. Dick size, Zeb. It’s always about dick size.

        3. Of course, the age of consent in California is 18.* They are all guilty of statutory rape** and should be registered as sex offenders*** for life after serving jail sentences.****


          1. Of course, I had 2 whole points in my post. The second of which was the cops behavior is illegal and they should all be fired and charged for what they did. Nothing in my posts has condoned that behavior.

            But because it’s a case of cops doing something bad, all skepticism and curiosity apparently goes out the window around here.

            1. I have to laugh at this broad being called exploited.

              Much skepticism. Very curious.

              1. Because every piece of solid evidence in this case indicates she was just manipulative as any cop involved, and she wasn’t anywhere near as powerless as you guys are pretending as evidence by the cop who blew his own brains out after she ratted on him.

            2. But because it’s a case of cops doing something bad, all skepticism and curiosity apparently goes out the window around here.

              Cops deserve to get what they themselves routinely extend: no mercy, no excuses, no humanity, and no second chances.

              1. I haven’t called for these cops to get mercy or a second chance. They deserve far worse than they are going to get.

                That still wouldn’t make Guap an innocent exploited victim. Those two things aren’t mutually exclusive.

                1. The only person calling her innocent is you.

                  1. Exploited sure as hell doesn’t seem to fit the situation based on what I know and have seen of her behavior.

                    But let’s put this very simply. If the cop in question threatened to take her to jail unless he received sexual favors. she was definitely exploited in my view. But that doesn’t look like what happened to me.

                    1. You mean “innocent” didn’t actually appear anywhere in Lizzie’s article?

                    2. Now here comes the point where you suddenly want to play pedant over the use of word I have subsequently used because you don’t have any argument. Perhaps you can see where I said ‘innocent’ in my first post. It doesn’t appear there. The rest of this has been dealing with the retarded pearl clutching responses that have followed over it.

                      I’ve offered a positive argument. You have done nothing but provide arguments completely irrelevant to anything I’ve said. No where did I condone the cops behavior. No where did I say Guap’s character has anything to do with what should happen to them. But you sure as hell have attempted to paint my argument that way multiple times now, and now want to try and get pedantic because I’ve used the word ‘innocent’ to characterize your argument.

                      I see a girl who manipulated and benefited from this situation.

                    3. Now here comes the point where you suddenly want to play pedant over the use of word I have subsequently used because you don’t have any argument.

                      Oh, like you are doing with the word “exploited”?

                    4. Also, let’s note that this is what Brochettaward considers a “positive argument.”

                      1. I have to laugh at this broad being called exploited.

                      Like all Socrates up in this shit here.

                    5. No matter how hard you white knight she ain’t gonna fuck you bro

                    6. I’ve put forward and clearly stated what I think happened and where I stand with regards to the punishment of the cops.

                      What you are arguing or disagree with in particular with my characterization of Guap, you haven’t clearly stated. But, hey, if you want to try and latch onto that word ‘innocent’ as if that’s why you are so vehemently disagreeing with me now, go right ahead.

                    7. It’s not pedantry. The whole point is that you keep conflating the capacity to be exploited with one’s innocence and powerlessness.

                    8. Everyone should take a moment to look up “exploited” in a dictionary.

            3. No, it was a fair point. There are several fair points running around here.

              1. Sleeping with an underage prostitute is illegal. This does not make it wrong, it just makes it illegal.

              2. The cops are breaking the law with wanton abandon, the same law they zealously flail their own victims with at every possible opportunity.

              3. “I won’t lock you in a cage today” is not acceptable compensation for services or goods.

              I’m not seeing much disagreement. It looks as if there isn’t so much disagreement, per se, as there is some differing starting points on “what prostitutes are like”* and a few near-discussions on the first point. Of course, keep in mind that we seem to be uniquely able to agree with each other in quite an adversarial manner.

              * I’ll say that having seen Pretty Woman sixteen times and listened to one’s mother bitch about that hot babysitter you had does not qualify one as an expert on “what prostitutes are like”.

              1. Looking at it, my post definitely invites criticism. The use of the term ‘broad’ and the definitive nature of it were pretty strong ways to put it. I didn’t put much thought into it at the time. It wasn’t even meant to be a shot at ENB. It was just an off-handed remark on a story that barely even interests me.

                1. No worries from Camp Hamster. That thing, you know, where you post something that struck you as interesting or a bit weird? Off the cuff, because you kind of feel y’all know each other and people are bright enough and know you well enough to follow along? I do it all the time, my man. A lot of people don’t follow along. And it isn’t that they’re bad people, or evil, it’s just that human communication sucks arse. And, you know, the commentariat sees talking about stuff as a full-contact sport. That probably has an effect as well.

          2. That’s more disclaimers than Fruit Sushi 2Go has ever used.

            1. ::spit take::

        4. While Celeste Guap sits in a Florida prison on aggravated battery charges, most of the California cops who allegedly exploited her get to carry on with their lives like nothing happened.

          The first sentence.

          1. She should take that up with the Florida cops and tthe clinic where she was when she flipped out. I’m not sure one has anything to do with the other.

            1. Err… I’m pointing out that ENB did preface “exploited” with “allegedly.”

        5. And she may have proposed the arrangement, but she also appears to be totes crazy. I’d say that exploitation, of one kind or another, is the more reasonable assumption.

      5. The fact that the officers actions were both legally criminal and morally reprehensible does not automatically make it the case that she has been exploited by them. In fact whether she was exploited or not is utterly irrelivant to anyone but her and whatever psychologist she ends up seeing to try and work through the feelings of victimization.

        The fact of the matter is prostitution is illegal as is having sex with a minor and every one of those cops knew they were trading sex with a prostitute for protection which makes them all criminals.

        1. The power structure makes it exploitation.

          Would she have fucked them if they weren’t cops? Nope. Period. End of story.

          1. She was a prostitute. She very well might have in exchange for money or an in-kind payment of protection.

            She was paying her pimp. Perhaps she just replaced his services with those of the OPD.

            1. The OPD? Yeah, you know me!

          2. That’s just it, you don’t know her and neither do I.

            It is equally likely that she is the one who came up with the idea of trading sex for protection as it is that they did.

            She *might* have been being exploited and reluctantly having sex for fear of prosecution or she might have been an opportunist who had no issues with trading sex for things she valued, ultimately we just don’t know.

            That said regardless of her perspective on the situation there is no possible justification for the officers actions, regardless of whether it should be or not prostitution is illegal as is having sex with a minor and as officers of the law they can’t claim they didn’t know, so they knowingly and intentionally committed both statutory rape, solicitation of a minor, soliciting a prostitute, and at least half a dozen other felonies.

      6. Get a load of this ENB broad here. Hey honey, how do you manage to write with them titties? BOOYA

        1. Warty, you have this impeccable ability to read minds. You know that when I argue with Heroic Mulatto, it’s because I’m racist and hate niggers. And you know that if I question the way ENB phrased something in her story, a single element, that I’m sexist. I mean, you must have another sense or there’s a massive case of projection going on.

          1. You didn’t “question it.” You “laugh” at the very idea of it.

            You don’t get to backtrack and claim skepticism when you start out by laughing off 1 of 2 interpretations.

            1. Ok. I laugh at the notion. And I do.

              Still doesn’t make my criticism sexist. And if you actually read Warty’s moronic response, he’s actually accusing me of being sexist against ENB for disagreeing with that characterization.

  9. Those cops used tricknology on her.

    1. It makes me so happy to have worked this into our collective vocabulary.

      1. I am also pleased… this place is good, warped fun.

  10. Yeah, I’m pretty pissed off that these guys were literally in a position of authority and used it to abuse a preteen prostitute. Yeah, prostitution might as well be legal, but these allegations are pretty sickening. The worst part is the lack of any criminal charges, but perhaps they’re still in the process of deciding what charges to bring exactly. I imagine there are a lot of choices on this one.

    I’d be very curious to see what a state level investigation into the 5 accused precincts turned up though. This is a case where I don’t fully trust the girl for pretty obvious reasons, but at the same time it’s pretty clear there was a heap of institutional malfeasance going on as well. All-in-all I don’t think they would have an easy time proving anything else in another department through sheer lack of evidence unless this girl has a lot of pictures somewhere.

    1. She wasn’t a preteen. She was merely a post-pubescent minor.

    2. GPS logs. Most of this shitbags were fucking ON DUTY.

  11. O’Brien apparently met Guap?then just 17-years-old?when she was fleeing an abusive pimp. O’Brien “saved me,” Guap told CNN. “Instead of taking me to jail, we just kind of started something there, you know.”

    If film noir cliches are wrong, then I don’t want to be right!

    1. Lt. Frank Drebin: I couldn’t believe it was her. It was like a dream. But there she was, just as I remembered her. That delicately beautiful face. And a body that could melt a cheese sandwich from across the room. And breasts that seemed to say… “Hey! Look at these!” She was the kind of woman who made you want to drop to your knees and thank God you were a man! She reminded me of my mother, all right. No doubt about it.

      Ed Hocken: Frank, snap out of it! You’re looking at her like she was your mother for Christ’s sake!

      1. Like a midget at a urinal, I was gonna have to be on my toes.

    2. “I keep two magnums in my desk. One’s a gun, and i keep it loaded. The other’s a bottle, and it keeps ME loaded.”

      1. +1 Tracer Bullet, Professional Snoop

        1. The dame was hysterical. Dames usually are.

          1. It’s a tough job, but then, I’m a tough guy. Some people don’t like an audience when they work. Enough of them have told me so with blunt instruments that I am a phrenologist’s dream come true.

    3. Instead of one abusive pimp, she had 30 of them! Saved!

  12. Isn’t this the chick that looks like Joe Camel?

    1. Winston’s mom?

      1. Has Winston been around? Haven’t seen him comment in a while.

        1. I don’t think he’s been around since we started the Winston’s Mom meme. At first he tried to respond in kind, but he was so abysmal at it that it got kind of sad.

          1. Winston lurks in the night, like many Canadians.

            1. Isn’t it always night up there, at least in winter?

            2. They’re like flannel-coated, floppy-headed owls.

              1. They are creatures of low character and gross desires, fit only as cannon fodder to fight the Inuit threat.

      1. Good thing he is wearing a bra.

    2. A lightly less unattractive snookie.

      1. lightly

        Less spray tan?

  13. …go Raiders?

  14. The firings and suspensions should send “a loud and clear message that we hold our officers to nothing but the highest standards of professionalism and integrity,” said Schaaf.

    I have to fight the urge to facepalm my face clean off every time I hear someone talking about firing a law breaking cop as though it were “justice served”. FUCK

    If these cops are fucking little girls and the result is they get fired, that’s not the same justice that anyone else without a magic costume would face. Sometimes I feel like I’m alone in a crowd, even in crowds of people who oppose the cops so many people tend to think justice is served when criminal cops get fired, as opposed to when they get sent to fucking prison. Regular people lose their jobs just because police are “investigating” them, and eventually they go to fucking prison. Regular cops face no repercussions whatsoever and in exigent circumstances they lose their jobs, which people mistake for justice because it happens so rarely. But every so often, when the moon is full, the sun is at it’s zenith, the planets align AND a cop cross the thin blue line, a cop might actually go to prison.

    1. It’s not so much “facepalm” for me, more like “seething rage.”

    2. Hear hear.

    3. Some animals are more equal than others? Those pederast cops earn their impunity for indiscriminate murder and rape by indiscriminately licking the blacking off of politicians’ footwear.

    4. But… their job is to commit crimes. Sending them to prison doesn’t make sense.

  15. The age of consent in CA is 18, I believe. Every cop who banged her when she was 17 should be charged with statutory rape. Where are the indictments?

    1. They are gone where the woodbine twineth.

      1. I don’t even know what this old timey phrase means, but I like it.

          1. Never even heard of that Hitch movie. Huh.

    2. If a high school teacher fucks a student who is 18 or over, it’s still a crime in most states.

      Uneven power structure and all that.

      1. Well, they just need a better union.

        1. They don’t get to kill people or fuck underage girls, but they do get to use kids as human shields.

          Let’s call it a wash.

          1. But they don’t get to use kids for live-fire target practice, so they’re still behind.

    3. During the Godly 18th Amendment, Portugal made the mistake of complaining abt the Methodist White Terror barring imports of their wine. Newspapers instantly filled up with Portugal’s regulations for licensing 12-year-old girls as prostitutes. Their counterexamples of 14-year-olds in Lousyanna were dismissed as mere caviling.

  16. Four Oakland police officers have been fired and seven others suspended without pay.

    It would be nice to simply check this box and forget it.

    Unfortunately if you follow these stories for months after the fact, you never know if the four will be quietly reinstated after arbitration with back pay and a payout for mental anguish.

    1. Stop fucking with my blood pressure Paul.

      From the comments:
      Here’s the final outcome:

      A police officer fired and later reinstated after threatening to shoot a motorist will never patrol the city’s streets again.

      Daniel Harless, a 15-year veteran, will receive $40,000 from the city, a neutral employment recommendation and a retired-officer ID in exchange for his resignation as part of a legal settlement.

      Harless, 47, found himself at the center of a media firestorm in 2011 when video surfaced of him threatening and berating a motorist after learning the man had a permit to carry a concealed weapon. The city fired Harless in 2012 after discovering that he made similar threats during two previous traffic stops.

      As part of the settlement reached this week, the city has dropped its appeal of an arbitrator’s ruling that cleared the way for Harless to return to work pending medical clearance. Harless, too, will drop all claims, including a lawsuit that the city retaliated against him for applying for workers’ compensation and a grievance involving vacation
      and sick leave.

      Kristen Bates Aylward, deputy chief counsel for the Canton Law Department, declined comment. Michael Piotrowski, attorney for Harless, could not be reached for comment. Both sides also agreed that they will not publicly comment on the case.

      You can read about the rest of the story here:…../131109669

      1. “and a retired-officer ID in exchange for his resignation”

        Do you know what that is? A permit to carry in all 50 states. For a cop with a history of threatening people with a gun.

        1. And the system works!

        2. The prohibition against granting Titles of Nobility is yet another dead clause in the Constitution.

        3. They still have to find an agency to do their annual firearm qualification. Sadly, that won’t be too hrs either.

        4. Threatening? As in shooting unarmed children full of holes from behind for no good reason? What happens when they decide they really mean bidness?

  17. Her mom is running a crowdfunding campaign?

    So now she’s interested in parenting?

    1. Nah. She still wants to make money off of her daughter.

    2. “Better late than never” is more than just an old saw – it’s a way of life!

  18. Are the underage prosty-fucking cops on the “shaming johns” website? I would hope that question has been asked.

    Is Reason Commenter John on the “shaming johns” website? If not, why not?

    1. For that comment, Mr. Crusty…Have you no shame?

      1. Do you even need to ask?

          1. And awfully pretty?

            1. I was feeling fat and bloated and ugly today, but you just instantly turned my frowney frown upside down. Thanks! 🙂

  19. The general conception of Hell as a place of smoke and fire, torment and pain, little demons jabbing you in the ass with a pitchfork, is not borne out by study of the book – Hell is simply being denied the presence of the grace of God. To know that you will know for all of eternity that you could have had it all, that paradise was yours for the taking and you turned your back on eternal bliss. That is all Hell is – to be locked out of Heaven and to know what you are missing.

    Now, if you think the anguish of knowing you could have been graced with God’s presence and pissed away your chance is Hell – imagine the anguish of knowing you were God and you pissed away your throne. That’s the punishment these cops face. Once, they strode the streets knowing they had the power of life and death over mere mortals, knew their word was law, knew their whims were commandments, knew the concepts of right and wrong, good and bad, just and unjust were defined by their idlest thoughts – and now they have been cast down from that high place and must live as if they had no more power than the average street thug.

    And you people mock that punishment? As if mere iron bars and stone walls could create a punishment worse than that of the tormented thought of knowing once you were a god and now you are a man.

    1. This ^ 1000.

      Jay Ciccineli, one of the cops who beat Kelly Thomas to death petitioned to get his job back: Thus said his attorney:

      Michael Schwartz, Cicinelli’s attorney for the criminal trial, is also representing him in his fight to become a Fullerton police officer again.

      “His identity of being a human being is totally wrapped up in being a police officer,” Schwartz said.

    2. Those don’t qualify as men. Maybe the Jerry Lewis Make-Fun-of-the-Handicapped movement has labeled those asset forfeiture looters men, but there is such a thing as mislabeling.

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  21. Let’s not go jumping to conclusions here. Remember we’re only hearing one side of the story. We don’t actually know what happened before the video. These good officers may very well have had reason to fear for their safety, and had to make a split-second decision in a life-or-death situation. If you’ve never worn the uniform, you have no idea what it’s like and really have no business spreading misinformation and your misguided opinions about matters you know nothing about. Let’s grow up and just wait for a full and fair investigation, which will conclude that the police were following standard procedure, even if unfortunate mistakes were made in this tragic situation. These brave heroes are, after all, under-staffed, under-paid, and under-appreciated and their training budget was severely slashed in the latest round of budget-cutting.

  22. Cops are basically bastards with a badge. I truly believe that the police will be nationalized within the next 4 years for our good of course. I personally have given up any hope of the people standing up.

  23. The whole point of passing laws against prostitution is to let men with guns rush out and rape them girls. It’s kinda like the Fugitive Slave Act–the Political State owns your booty… tough luck!

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  28. Cartel, Mobs, Cops, They all pretty much the same. Just Gangs. One gang is just backed up by a blue or black uniform and cars with flashy red and blue lights.

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