Gary Johnson

Libertarian Gary Johnson Tries His Luck in Las Vegas

Promises to propose balanced budget within first 100 days, praises Nevada for their chance to legalize marijuana.


Gary Johnson's presidential campaign of actually going places, standing in front of big crowds, and talking continues, moving from Miami on Wednesday to Las Vegas yesterday.

Matt Welch

From the Las Vegas Review-Journal's account of his appearance before a "high energy" crowd with his usual framing of wanting to keep government out of the bedroom and the pocketbook:

Johnson told attendants that Libertarianism is about choice, noting he's pro-gay marriage and believes abortions should be the decision of the affected women. He called the death penalty "flawed public policy" and favors legalizing marijuana.

In Nevada, "you have the chance to do it and you're going to do it," Johnson said of the November referendum that could legalize recreational marijuana for users over the age of 21.

They remain hopeful about reaching the Commission on Presidential Debates 15 percent in five polls threshold, even if perhaps not by the first one:

Weld raised the possibility that even if they can't reach the polling benchmark by the first debate, slated for Sept. 26, that if polling continues they could reach eligibility for a later debate. The last presidential debate is slated for Oct. 19 at UNLV.

Coalition to Regulate Marijuana Like Alcohol spokesman Joe Brezny, who ran the Nevada campaign for Mitt Romney's presidential bid four years ago, said Thursday that he's supporting Johnson and Weld and noted of Republicans that he "watched some good people nominate the least electable person in mankind."….

Weld contended to cheers that the fiscal conservatism he and Johnson demonstrated in their gubernatorial tenures is just what's needed in Washington D.C.

Johnson, meanwhile, pledged that if elected, he would present Congress with a balanced budget within the first 100 days of taking the White House.

In other Gary Johnson/Libertarian news:

Montanan political analysts and watchers think Johnson could easily double his 3 percent from 2012:

Montana voters have shown in past elections that they will support candidates who do not represent the two major political parties.

Just four years ago, Libertarian candidate Dan Cox received 6.5 percent of the vote in Montana's Senate race. Some political analysts speculated his strong showing prevented Republican Denny Rehberg from beating incumbent Sen. Jon Tester, a Democrat

• If he reaches $10 million in direct campaign donations, he runs the risk of being offered Secret Service protection. A campaign email today says that in just this month so far they've pulled $3 million from 92,000 distinct donors.

Reporting from the Sun Journal in Maine on the nature of Johnson's appeal and the Libertarian Party's situation in the state. Johnson will be appearing in Maine on August 26:

"It was like he was saying everything in my brain," [Heidi] Sawyer said. "For me, Johnson represents fiscal conservatism, small government, not wasteful spending, a government where more money would go to classrooms and where they'd make sense."

Sawyer, the creator of the popular Lewiston Rocks Facebook page, was intrigued. "Things like that perked my interest," she said.

Sawyer said she's fiscally conservative but socially liberal. She's not opposed to gay marriage. "I don't care about what people do in their bedrooms," she said.

The Libertarian Party isn't about foreign involvement, "fighting wars creating more conflict. I want to make sure we're not putting our nose where it shouldn't be."

So, Sawyer became a Maine state volunteer coordinator for the Libertarian Party…

The Maine L.P. needs to have "10,000 registered voters who are enrolled in the party cast ballots in the General Election, among other provisions in Maine law," to maintain ballot status as an official party, according to the state government.

I reported earlier on Maine's difficult but ultimately successful fight to get on the ballot this year.

NEXT: Are Attitudes About Discrimination and Guns More Important Than Policy About Spending?

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  1. How is it that Nevada is Harry Ried country?

    1. Las Vegas is Harry Reid country. Rumor has it Reid’s a sockpuppet of a certain Legitimate Businessman’s Club whose interests include gambling, prostitution, loansharking, gun-running, drug-dealing and perfecting pasta sauce that won’t stain a black shirt/white tie outfit. NTTAWWT.

      1. Jerryskids|8.19.16 @ 8:40PM|#
        “Las Vegas is Harry Reid country.”

        CA is like that. The densely populated areas where the Ds can implement a machine, kowtow to the unions and buy votes with taxpayer money all go D; free shit!
        Outside of those areas, it’s not clear which way CA would go.

    2. I remember some reporter going to Searchlight and asking around about Reid. Everyone in town spit on the ground before telling how much they hated the guy. Apparently not one person there voted for the guy.

      Hell, even his own exercise machines hates the guy.

      1. I spent most of my life living on and off in Nevada or at least visitting every year for a while, and I’ve never met anyone there that would admit to voting for Reid. I’ve never met anyone there who didn’t totally despise him.

    3. Anybody can earn 450$+ daily… You can earn from 9000-14000 a month or even more if you work as a full time job…It’s easy, just follow instructions on this page, read it carefully from start to finish… It’s a flexible job but a good eaning opportunity.. go to this site home tab for more detail…

  2. Kinda OT, I used to read Vin Suprynowicz’ columns in the LVRJ pretty regularly, made me sick when Adelson bought the paper knowing what he might have plans for doing with it. Good to see they’re still allowed to cheerlead for the LP over there.

    1. If this were a libertarian magazine’s website we might get Vin Suprynowicz instead of Steve Chapman

    2. I used to avidly read Vin Suprynowicz. He helped move me to libertarianism. He was syndicated for a while and a local paper ran his column.

  3. We need to balance this out with a “Libertarian Case for Hillary” article, or I’m canceling my subscription. I mean, I would if I had one…

    1. The print version really is excellent.

      1. It’s only going to get better. KM-W is one classy broad.

        1. KMW is terrific. I wish she had more hand in HnR, that’s for sure.

          Wish Moynihan were still around, too.

  4. “Johnson, meanwhile, pledged that if elected, he would present Congress with a balanced budget within the first 100 days of taking the White House.”

    I’m thinking about when Newt and his boys took over Congress in 1994, and one of his promises was to hold a vote on some proposal (term limits?). So they held the vote, the measure lost, and wasn’t heard from again.

    This kind of sounds like that.

    DAY 1: President Johnson sends his balanced-budget bill to the House of Representatives.

    DAY 2: The Speaker sends the bill to the Committee on Stuff We’ll Get Around to When Hell Freezes Over.

    DAY 3: The House begins work on the *real* budget bill.

    1. Yeah, come to think of it, I don’t think Johnson is the kind of guy who could craft and win a PR war.

    2. I remember that very well.

      Newt was interviewed on why term limits, which were on the Promise to America wasn;t acted on. His excuse was that the timing wasn’t just right.

      I remember it well and it has stuck in my mind because I remember thinking what a hypocritical liar he was, even though they had addressed the other items in some form or fashion.

  5. I can’t believe that with all the Billionaire Plutocrats paying me to pretend to be a libertarian, they can’t at least spare $100million for Gary to spread the …. well, ok i guess “the message” he’s got isn’t worth bupkis, but hey – the *brand*, then! $50million for helping spread the brand.

    I mean you’d think the Kochs would let them go fishing around in the cracks of their couches or something. There’s got to be at least a few million in loose change.

    I think i now understand the irritation w/ Peter Thiel.

    1. “Koch won’t pay for Johnson.”

      1. Dick approves

    2. Hey! Ballet is expensive.

    3. I don’t know exactly what this commenter is getting at but he’s apparently very upset that people who are interested in limited government aren’t voting for Trump. What we need over the next 4 hrs is more right-wingers shoveling money to the DoD while they talk and talk about how welfare and Social Security are breaking the bank.

  6. Johnson, meanwhile, pledged that if elected, he would present Congress with a balanced budget within the first 100 days of taking the White House.

    Which will be completely ignored by both parties.

    1. Could there be a more meaningless pledge?

      1. I await President Johnson’s signing of the Nazi Cake Act of 2017, in the rose garden surrounded by uniformed Nazis, shackled Jew bakers wearing yellow stars are forced at bayonet point to wheel in the giant delicious cake for GayJay, Weld, and their fellow Aryans to enjoy. Now that’s a LIBERTARIAN MOMENT to savor!

      2. The Clinton Foundation has pledged to consider suspending their acceptance of foreign donations if Hillary wins.

      3. I typed in, but the webpage that loads up is Weirdest internet fluke ever.

    1. It boasts a collection of dioramas ? miniature models of important Civil War battles ? painstakingly sculpted by Rebecca Brown and her twin sister, Ruth. The stars of the exhibits are the tiny clay soldiers ? nearly 2,000 of them.

      And this is why sensible men invented the process of casting molds.

  7. As I stated last post, Hillary will ne our next prez. What Johnson/Weld talk about only impacts the public perceprion of Libertarianism, not what happens in November. So keep talking about balancing the budget, free trade, MJ, and justice reform and stfu about FOA and guns.

    1. Eddie, this just proves once again that you are horrible top to bottom. Mother Mary is ashamed of you for making Baby Jesus weep.

  8. Gimme Back My Bullet.

  9. Just four years ago, Libertarian candidate Dan Cox received 6.5 percent of the vote in Montana’s Senate race. Some political analysts speculated his strong showing prevented Republican Denny Rehberg from beating incumbent Sen. Jon Tester, a Democrat

    I am the 6.5%

    Also, here in Montana, while the presidential election almost always swings red, it’s not unheard of for the senate to go blue. Especially when you’ve got a race between Rehberg (meh) and Tester (also meh)

  10. Just thought I would share my observation that chicks that run olympic track have very nice asses.

    1. No pics?

      You’re fired.

      1. You don’t have a TV?

        1. More specific. You’re welcome.

          1. And then there is the long jump.


  11. Victory at Last! Kim Davis Has Won the Fight for Religious Freedom

    “”Kim Davis has won! We celebrate this victory for her and for every American,” said Mat Staver, Founder and Chairman of Liberty Counsel. “County clerks are now able to perform their public service without being forced to compromise their religious liberty. The case is now closed and the door has been shut on the ACLU’s attempt to assess damages against Kim Davis. This victory is not just for Kim Davis. It is a victory for everyone who wants to remain true to their deeply-held religious beliefs regarding marriage while faithfully serving the public,” said Staver.”

    1. Did you mean that ironically?

    2. The essence of it =

      it isn’t a surprise that in a democratic polity, the purveyors of crude media would confuse their numerical reach with significance. And also that they would begin to think that the ideas were starting to distract from the important thing, which was the volume of the bullhorn…. While Hannity surely is more handsomely compensated than the victims of his taunts, the truth is that in the long run, subscribers to the Wall Street Journal are more important to the advancement of political goals than Hannity’s paranoid geriatrics…. People with ideas pitch publishers and write books and hope to get them reviewed in papers like the Wall Street Journal. People who want to sell erection pills, and hawk scam products like gold coins and survival seeds ask about the ad rates against right-wing populist media.

      And it is a fitting end for the campaign to be handed over to this huckster. Donald Trump knows how to build a casino on junk bonds. He knows how to sell a real-estate seminar by saying you’ll be a billionaire if you apply for a new credit line to get the add-on insights. A few decades ago, his aging Boomer audience could buy into aspiration and glitz. But now they are at the age when fear sells. So he hired salesman who knows that product line.

      My take = clever

      Tho for all that wit, Mike Brendan Dougherty doesn’t actually name a single “important idea” of the WSJ-set that he feels has been unfairly overlooked.

      1. – basically, the essence of it is that he’s making an cultural-elitist moan that,

        “The rabble have stormed the castle and are mucking up all the Lord’s finery”

        But where does he note the actual “important policies” that are getting pushed aside or compromised… where are the abandoned “grand ideas” …or the noble-principles of the Establishment GOP which have been foresaken in this rush to turn the knob up to 11?

        What, exactly, is the value of the WSJ-Republicanism, if their end-product is something like a “John Boehner”?

        he tut-tuts because he is disgusted by the rhetoric of the hannity and the Brietbart types. But, in all his pish-poshing them…. aren’t they the ones actually seen as “fighting” for the causes which people bother Voting for in the first place?

        (maybe they are – maybe they aren’t. i don’t know, i don’t digest any of that stuff myself. but the issue is simply whether they’re *seen* that way)

        My simple take would be, ‘well….. if it wins, then ‘so what’? Tell me what you fear losing the most.”

        I personally don’t think it will win, and don’t want it to – but only because i think the complete destruction of the ‘old’ GOP (and the reformation of Trumps populists) will only happen when Hillary is in office.


    If only Europe could assimilate them. Reason just lost interest in the refugees.

    1. But apparently Germany will be following the French path to success by banning burkas. Cuz the funny garb is the real problem here. Look at the Mennonites and the nuns, violent nutbags one and all.

      Presumably the Muzism is unrelated. Good thing too, since Germany has no laws against promoting hate and supremacist attitudes.

    2. And where are the European men while their women are being assaulted by Muslim refugees ?

      Do they agree with the importers and Cytotoxic ?

      I would like to think that if Reasonettes women were being assaulted en mass that we wouldn’t wait upon the government to fix the problem much like the Cajuns in LA aren’t waiting upon Obama to finish his vacay before he pays them any attention.

  13. “I reported earlier on Maine’s difficult but ultimately successful fight to get on the ballot this year.”
    Wait, the state of Maine is on the ballot? Which office is it running for?

  14. Johnson does an extensive interview with LA Times, and he is asked his opinion on climate change.

    He answers that it is real, and caused by man. So far so good. But he says he doesn’t think regulations are the answer. So, what is to be done? His answe:

    “I’m open also to the notion of a carbon tax. That it does have an impact, that it ends up being revenue-neutral. I’m not looking at this as a revenue generator, as much as there are costs associated with, there are health and safety issues with carbon.”

    He’s “open.” That isn’t an answer at all. He’s a guy saying there is a problem, but he has no plans to actual address other than MAYBE supporting what someone else works for. In fact when pressed, he says he hasn’t thought it all the way through and needs more time. Yikes.

    Everyone is moving on and implanting solutions. Being open doesn’t cut it anymore.

      1. Jack Ace, you and I know the only answer to the fake scandal of climate change is to completely shut down America’s economy.

        We know that it is the only solution that would satisfy anyone left of David Duke.

        Poor plants.

        Starved to death on the alter of politically correct progressiveness.

        1. Look on the bright side! In the election, given your thoughts, you have a candidate! Certainly not Clinton. And given what Johnson just said, “climate change is real and caused by man,” not him either.

          You and Trump. Two peas in a pod.

          1. NYT: Hillary Clinton avoids carbon tax.

            I guess if you like carbon taxes:
            Johnson says “open”.
            Hillary avoids.
            ‘No’ on Trump.

            So, your candidate is…Johnson.

    1. Excess carbon in the atmosphere will be used up when self replicating nano tech takes off, maybe 2 decades, probably less.

      1. I see. Thanks.

        1. “I see. Thanks.”
          You’re welcome. Please sit on a running chain saw and proceed to your local O-care provider. Assuming there is still one within miles of where you are.

          1. And if he is a wage earner with an 8 or 19 thousand deductible.

            I suspect he maybe be one of those supporters who have $50 a month premiums and zero deductible .

      2. Sooner than that, I think. Once someone develops a good algal based fuel with most of the properties of petroleum, so people can stop pretending they can defeat the ICE with puny batteries.

        1. Well, that’s fine. It’ll give the petroleum aquifers time to refill. Kidding, of course. But, it is possible that in the future many environmental regs well be done away, because there actually will be a deficit of environmental carbon for nano tech to use.

      3. +1 grey goo

        1. Which is why the self replication part will need to be limited. Interestingly enough, the human cell can only replicate itself a certain amount of times, which is the underlying cause of ageing and age related deaths. What is that, the telemere? I’m not saying anything, I’m just saying.

          1. Except, of course, for those cell that have mutated in a way that ignores the built-in counter. In living organisms we call that cancer.

            In nanotech its called an existential threat.

            1. It’s called bad science fiction. Wexler is the biggest futurest con since kurzweil. Engines of creation is an immensely boring read too.

      4. No.

      5. No.

    2. I am not particularly interested in your religious rants, JackandAce.

    3. Jack’s bullshit:

      “He’s “open.” That isn’t an answer at all. He’s a guy saying there is a problem, but he has no plans to actual address other than MAYBE supporting what someone else works for. In fact when pressed, he says he hasn’t thought it all the way through and needs more time.”

      No, shitstain, it means he isn’t agreeing with lefty twits like you.
      BTW, did you come up with all the folks here who promote ED? You promised that we did.
      Did you come up with all the earthquakes caused by fracking? You promised it did.
      Do you ever post without lying, shitstain?

    4. What’s your opinion on nuclear power?

    5. What, *exactly* should the US do? When China won’t? When Russia won’t? When Vietnam and the rest of SE and SW Asia, and Africa won’t?

      1. They all already are moving forward. In fact, China has peaked its coal use. AND they are implementing a cap and trade system on CO2.

        In some cases, countries are doing more than us. But thanks.

        1. So build more nukes? Not the most cost effective solution with your fellow flunkouts as the regulators but better than your pinwheels.

  15. Johnson, meanwhile, pledged that if elected, he would present Congress with a balanced budget within the first 100 days of taking the White House.

    What is going to do when it gets rejected? Cause a shutdown? Will he like it when the proggies call him a babykiller?

    1. What is going to do when it gets rejected?

      Ban burqas and high capacity magazines.

      1. Hey, SIV, tell us what your fave Trump is gonna do!

  16. Just four years ago, Libertarian candidate Dan Cox received 6.5 percent of the vote in Montana’s Senate race. Some political analysts speculated his strong showing prevented Republican Denny Rehberg from beating incumbent Sen. Jon Tester, a Democrat

    Fear Montana libertarians, bitchez!

    1. I would like to have seen Montana

        1. That took longer to load than a black powder musket at a cosplay convention.

          1. Come on. That shit was funny. Crickets. I hear mother loving crickets. Well, you know what you guys can do? You can go straight to…
            Naw I’m kidding, you guys are great.

    2. Year before last Texas had 3 counties vote over 5% libertarian in Senate races, with a 3% state average. That’s 133,000 votes, the kind of spoiler vote total that get those looters scrambling to repeal murderous prohibition laws and cut taxes and spending in a BIG hurry.

  17. So is Gillespie’s Marxist/Whiggish inevitability spiel just a way to refute the inevitable “libertarianism is a 19th century anachronism” spiel?

  18. So why does everyone think the LP is uniquely free from the corrupting influence of being a “pragmatic” reformer as has happened to plenty of “reformers” in the past?

  19. So once again I have to ask why haven’t the LP taken power in major cities? The Republicans are pretty weak in many of them and surely enough gay black atheist tranny yutes can be convinced to vote LP and there aren’t many socons there. Would be a very important experience of practical politics (Budgets! Social Reforms! Cops! Taxes!) and trying to Get Libertarian Things Done and seeing the limits of pragmatism and purism.

    1. Winston|8.19.16 @ 10:49PM|#
      “So once again I have to ask why haven’t the LP taken power in major cities?”
      I’m certain you have to ask that since you’re a fucking ignoramus, and I’ll be happy to advise you. My fees for dealing with stupid shits like you are $375/hr.
      Please send a retainer of $3,750.00, since it is obvious it will take at least ten hours to make any progress at all.

      1. 10% cut and I’ll type and get coffee. No euphemism.

        1. By the time he covered the real bill, we’d both be farting though silk.
          He won’t, he’s a pathetic whiner.

          1. “farting through silk”. You spend your cut on whatever you want.

    2. The LP is after freedom, not power. Losing is Winning when it repeals bad laws and lowers taxes. The program is the standard of value in terms of which winning and losing are defined. The LP has won concessions (increased freedom) in every single election beginning in 1972.

  20. Does anyone know the Summon Agile Cyborg spell?

    1. No, but pretty sure it involves either coke or LSD, possibly both.

      1. ‘shrooms, Bro. It has to be ‘shrooms.

  21. `Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
    All mimsy were the borogoves,
    And the mome raths outgrabe.

    “Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
    The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
    Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
    The frumious Bandersnatch!”

    He took his vorpal sword in hand:
    Long time the manxome foe he sought —
    So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
    And stood awhile in thought.

    And, as in uffish thought he stood,
    The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
    Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
    And burbled as it came!

    One, two! One, two! And through and through
    The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
    He left it dead, and with its head
    He went galumphing back.

    “And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
    Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
    O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!’
    He chortled in his joy.

    `Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
    Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
    All mimsy were the borogoves,
    And the mome raths outgrabe.

  22. Nice try, but quite a few of the folks you’re dealing with have been getting ‘free shit’ for years:

    “Trump to black voters: ‘What the hell do you have to lose?'”…..172357.php

    1. Hey Sevo if you ever get sick of San Fran New Hampshire, and southern Maine would welcome you with open arms. I would too. =D

      1. “Hey Sevo if you ever get sick of San Fran”
        Ain’t no snow to shovel here, unlike where I grew up.

    2. The fucked up thing is that Trumps and Hillary’s Anti-Free Trade polices would hurt African Americans just as bad by making foreign goods and services more expensive.
      This election is a fucking shitshow from Hell.

      1. “This election is a fucking shitshow from Hell.”

        Except for the one who sells ‘free shit!”
        OXY CLEAN! But wait, there’s more!
        SIV has already bought it.

        1. Well you got to admit Sevo chicks in their under wear is pretty cool. =D

  23. OT:
    Watch out you angry addicts!

    “Anger and addiction often drive arsonists, but convictions rare”
    “He is generally a young white man, abused by his parents, bad at school, stuck in bottom-wage jobs and antisocial. He probably also is a drunk or drug addict, struggles psychologically and gets in trouble with the law.
    This is the typical arsonist, according to FBI and other law enforcement analyses. And he may be rare ? only about 6 percent of wildfires in California each year are started by arsonists ? but when he strikes, the result is often catastrophic.”…..174084.php

    Gee, for all the generalists here, they seem to have left out muzzy!

    1. Also, probably a volunteer fire department member, you know, the one with blue and red emergency lights on his ’92 Escort who “re-dips” his chaw.

      1. who “re-dips” his chaw.

        That’s fucking gross dude.

          1. But, let me ashk you you this (does small drunken stagger) is it, it, is it grosser than a 92 Escort? With red and blue and red emershuncies lights?
            (Passes out)

            1. And this is pure comedic genius. If somebody doesn’t up vote me for this, then I’m calling AOL and getting my money back.

            2. “But, let me ashk you you this”

              You misspelled “axe”.


              /pours more booze into DenverJ mouth in an effort to revive him.

              1. Thank you. That was awesome. That song was you know?

      2. If you do not chew Levi Garret you are a Godless Heathen, Barbarian, and A Bernie Sanders/Hillary supporter.

  24. Clueless coastal journalists consistently fail at geography

    “A small West Virginia city”

    Huntington could be the largest city in the state, depending on recent population fluctuations. It’s at least a very close #2.

    A population of 50,000 is larger than average for a city. W/o looking it up I’d call it a “large mid sized city”. I regularly see journalists call places with 20k population a “small town”.

    1. Well, totally a facet of the “fly-over country” thing, right? I live in Denver, a pretty good size cow town. the entire state of Colorado has less than 6 million people, while the city of New York has 8 million people in just over 300 sq miles. And New York isn’t even close to being the most densely populated city.
      So, I kind of understand when someone from that environment thinks 20,000 is the attendance at the ball game, not the population of the whole damn town.
      I’ve also lived in very small towns, with less than 200 people, but that doesn’t have anything to do with anything else, I just was signaling.

    2. 20k *is* a small town – that there are towns significantly smaller doesn’t change that. I live in a town that is approx 15k in between a small city with 100k and another with 25 k. Now, a *tiny* town has less than a thousand people (like nearby Gadsden).

      I live in AZ (with a smidgen over 6 million in the whole state) though I mostly grew up in Tucson which has only *recently* topped 1 million in the whole metro area.

      Its all relative though – like Denver says below, if you’re from a city that has more people in it than the whole of the 6th largest state in the country then 20k rural as fuck. If you grew up in and around little farming/ranching towns then the town with 20k is the ‘city’ where people went in on special occasions.

      1. looks at map to decipher where Agammamon lives

        I kid.

        I second that it’s relative. I’m used to the Phoenix area. A 20K town is small to me.

        1. My town’s amphitheater holds 20k.

  25. OT: Fed cite thirty people for attempting visit an off limits popular river pool. Because it’s for their own safety.

    The fire is contained within existing fire lines and is just expected to smolder for some time. No mention that any of the people interfered in the fire fighting efforts, just that that tried to go into a public area that Uncle Sugar said they couldn’t. And no possibility that Uncle Sugar’s minions could simply say ‘it’s dangerous, you’re on your own if you enter this area’.

    In the nothing left to cut department:
    Federal law enforcement officers with the team fighting the fire

    Were they fighting the fire by putting handcuffs on the flames or threatening to shoot spot fires?

    spokeswoman for the team

    A spokesidiot is needed specifically for the fire fighting team? Couldn’t just have the regular district rangers handle media inquiries?

    1. Forgot the hashtag


      1. I need closure

  26. This guy isn’t bad, what’s he been up to lately?

    But this version is better.

  27. Howcum only the British and Irish bookies have odds on Gary and the LP? Surely there is money to be made by letting Americans bet on the election outcome. Do we still have actuaries capable of calculating odds?

    1. Trump loses, or concedes, Hillary wins. The odds are 100%.

      However if you are a betting man. Trump. or Gary winning is one hell of a long shot. =D

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