Matt Welch Talks Trump, Clinton, Iran, and Obama-Commutations on Tonight's Kennedy

Fox Business Network broadcast at 8 p.m. ET also includes discussion of Clint Eastwood and the benefits of drinking while married

Our friends at the Kennedy program

Tonight's Kennedy (Fox Business Network at 8 p.m. ET, with a repeat at midnight) features, as you may expect, discussion about the insane 2016 presidential election, but also conversation about the Summer Olympics, President Barack Obama's record-breaking commutations, Clint Eastwood, the Iran hostages deal, and the crucial marital importance of drink-a-linking. I will be co-Party Panelizing along with comedian/American hero and Jimmy Failla, and also former White House security official Gillian Turner.

Speaking of Kennedy and Jimmy Failla, they ambushed me sad-drinking at the Democratic National Convention last week, which you can see in a pretty funny video at this link.

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

Prediction: Uh, powder blue?

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Powder Hike-that-skirt-up-more blue. Please.

[Spencer]

Show the world to me?

[Fist of Etiquette]

...which you can see in a pretty funny video at this link.

Ha! Welch tossing them back with all the other sad Bernie Bros.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

He was in the video for like 300 ms.

[Spencer]

Is it weird writing about yourself in the 3rd person in the headline?

Also, I seriously almost sent an email to one of my employees that said "you SF'd the link. Please resend."

[Fist of Etiquette]

The video is worth it, by the way, for the visual of Kennedy on a mechanical bull holding something that could be taken for a Shake Weight.

[Spencer]

Crusty, is that you?

[Crusty Juggler]

I am a Fist sock.

[Fist of Etiquette]

They're called mittens, dummy.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

My cat's name is Mittens.

[__Warren__]

Fraud in the vegan mayo sector.

[Spencer]

I see nothing wrong with this. They just outsmarted the system... short term.

[straffinrun]

That jar of mayo GIF made my morning.

[Rhywun]

That is excellent.

[Rhywun]

Ahem... "mayo".

Slimeballs.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

This will ensure we stay on the shelf to put an end to Hellmann's factory-farmed egg mayo, and spread the word to customers that Just Mayo is their new preferred brand. :)"

Right there. That right there... that's the moral justification that allows these types to do wildly unethical shit.

Doin' right ain't got no end.

[Rufus The Monocled]

"We need you in Safeway buying Just Mayo and our new flavored mayos," Caroline Love, Hampton Creek's then director of corporate partnership, wrote in an April 2014 e-mail to contract workers known as Creekers. "And we're going to pay you for this exciting new project!"

Hi-larious, Smithers!

[SIV]

Ha!

Of course there's fraud. Fraud is their product!

Hampton Creek is the Theranos of the ersatz "mayo" racket. Wait, that's not fair to Theranos...

[SIV]

How much did Hampton Creek secretly pay Elizabeth Nolan Brown to write sponsored fraudulent condiment content here under the guise of "news"? I demand a FULL INVESTIGATION.

[SIV]

Some donated the supply to food shelters or handed them out to friends and family, but most say they threw it in the trash.

Nobody eats that shit. They could have shipped those jars of misbranded pea protein to North Korea during a famine and the starving Norks wouldn't eat it.

[Ted S.]

Isn't this what the Scientology creepers did with copies of Dianetics?

[Sir Digby Chicken Caesar]

Never mind that shit...we've lost a funny man.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Your revolution is over, Mr. Caesar. Condolences. The bums lost. The bums will always lose. Do you hear me, Caesar? THE BUMS WILL ALWAYS LOSE!

[You Sound Like a Prog (MJG)]

This guy's a fake. A fucking goldbricker.

Sad! news.

[Sir Digby Chicken Caesar]

You too, MJG.

[Sir Digby Chicken Caesar]

I think you earned this.

/I only hope it works

[Fist of Etiquette]

Yes, the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers and proud we are of all of them.

[Charles Easterly]

And then there's Maude.

[Fist of Etiquette]

AH! Lou Dobbs.

[Ted S.]

What do you have against Lewd Obbs?

[Fist of Etiquette]

His sudden presence was jarring after < i The Independents.

[Sir Digby Chicken Caesar]

It is known.

[Dennis, Constitutional Peasant]

I wasn't even done listening to the 5th column. sigh

[Fist of Etiquette]

I find it suspicious that Reason somehow has before it airs a screen grab of a show that gives everyone the impression is live.

[The Fusionist]

So you can bet on the instant replay?

[Charles Easterly]

Precognition is not synonymous with perspicuity.

Or is it?

[Greg Loves His Woodchipper]

I already had that picture of Kennedy in my mind anyway.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Black shoes shined to perfection. Finally, I'm not embarrassed to be associated with Reason magazine.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

How the hell did Reason miss the most important story of the week?

[straffinrun]

"This person is not breaking the law," said Captain Kevin Warych of the Green Bay Police Department. "He can walk in a clown costume anywhere he wants."

Says the Police Captain without a touch of irony.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Oh, they edited out some of Failla's Olympic event jokes.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Matt Welch: "I'm not voting for Donald Trump!"

There's one rumor put to rest.

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

That's a required followup whenever you say something mean about Clinton.

[SIV]

I'm starting a campaign to petition President Trump to deport Matt Welch to France.

[Crusty Juggler]

I am starting a campaign asking for Tumblr to delete your fashion blog.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Jesus, how could I forget about Kennedy's penchant for interrupting a guest or panelist mid-point.

[Crusty Juggler]

Your habit of huffing airplane glue?

[Charles Easterly]

Your thought pattern was interrupted?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Dealing for hostages in Iran? How very Reaganesque.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Hillary Clinton: "What difference, at this point, does it make."

[Dennis, Constitutional Peasant]

re: Navy tie-on-Royal blue shirt

Since achieving sartorial maturity, Matt seems to show a preference for color-consonance, matching shirt-ties w/ some variant of the same shade. Its an easy way to get things consistently right, as long as you stick to rules like "avoid striped-tie w/ striped shirt", or failing to create any contrast at all

Jimmy looks pretty good too.

[Crusty Juggler]

It's positively Cary Grantian.

[Fist of Etiquette]

White dress shirt shows you mean business. Anything else and I will take you for a clown.

I can't really take you seriously since the name change. It's ludicrous to build a brand and abandon it. How would you like it I suddenly started going by The Difference It Makes at this Point or Panic at the Trumpsco or Death Panelist? This place would completely fall into chaos.

[Dennis, Constitutional Peasant]

You make a good point. I may go back.

[Charles Easterly]

This place would completely fall into chaos.

It seems to me that you overstate your significance, FoE.

Perhaps it is the case that "This place" fell into/was always a part of/was shunted forth from (et cetera) chaos independent of your arrival and contributions.

Or not.

[Fist of Etiquette]

You should have been here for the last "A Day Without Fist of Etiquette".

[Charles Easterly]

Why should I have been? Clearly you weren't.

[Fist of Etiquette]

It made Brexit: Day One look like Obama's Inauguration. I don't think it's hyperbole to say it made 9/11 look like your best Christmas memory. It made It made Lindsay Lohan 2016 look like Lindsay Lohan 2004. They're still putting fires out here.

[Dennis, Constitutional Peasant]

I disagree about the dress shirt point. I think blue/white are both "business". I have mixed feelings about getting too goofy with patterned shirts (which get too casual), or the blue-shirt/white-collar contrast shirts (which are pretty much for "The Boss" or his lawyer).

[Fist of Etiquette]

Rebuttal: WRONG

[straffinrun]

"On the flip side, in situations where wives drank and men didn't, wives reported increased negative martial quality over time."

USA Today's editors belong in the brig.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Maybe Iran needed that money for construction costs for the gallows to hang that gay teen this week.

[Rhywun]

Be cheaper if law enforcement left it to the mobs like in Turkey.

[Dennis, Constitutional Peasant]

Is Gillian's jaw-rubber-banded? or was she raised by one of those nannies who insisted you enunciate through a mouth that is barely opened?

[The Fusionist]

Update on a story I posed a few days ago (and which Reason is obviously covering up):

"The remains of a long forgotten Civil War veteran passed through Billings [Montana] on the back of a motorcycle Wednesday on their way to the man's hometown and final resting place in Maine.

"The Patriot Guard Riders, an organization of motorcycle riders who attend military funerals, are transporting the cremated remains of Union soldier Jewett Williams across the country to honor his service and recognize his life. Montana state chapter members transferred the ashes at Beartooth Harley-Davidson before completing the next leg to the Wyoming border....

"The Patriot Guard began the relay in Salem, Ore., on Aug. 1 and plan to deliver Williams' remains to Maine by Aug. 22. He'll be buried with military honors at Togus National Cemetery."

This needs to be a road-trip movie.

[DWB]

Drink while married.

Drink while single.

It's all good ...

[The Fusionist]

The other night I got invited to a party
But I stayed home instead
Just me and my pal Jack Daniels
And his brothers Blackie and Red

[The Fusionist]

Johnny Walker and his brothers, I'm so sorry

[DWB]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wr-kn0JG5p4

[Dennis, Constitutional Peasant]

Oooh. Ben.

[Rufus The Monocled]

I swear, if I find out anyone at Reason voted for anyone but Johnson...God help I don't go (Canadian) Postal on their asses.

FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING, PREET. THAT'S CALLED HUMOR. SEE HOW THAT WORKS?

[Agammamon]

Exceptionally helpful and polite?

[Fist of Etiquette]

They still do Topical Ointment, eh?

[The Fusionist]

The abolitionist Alice Paul braved mob violence to defend freedom and racial equality. Alice Paul was force-fed in prison while protesting on behalf of women's right to vote.

Now, writes commentator Jamie Stiehm, all that sacrifice has finally borne fruit with the nomination of Hillary Clinton:

"Like Mott and Paul, Clinton has shown remarkable pluck and perseverance in overcoming more than her share of political fury in the public square. And her candle power is right up there with the serious Paul, who went to Swarthmore College and held several graduate degrees. If she takes anything from them into the coming campaign, let Clinton take to heart how clear and charismatic Mott was, like a lighthouse in a dark era in American history leading up to the Civil War."

[DWB]

BARF ...

[The Fusionist]

"Hillary Clinton's shining moment - a victory for American women and an inspiration for all - could not be better placed. The Quaker city of brotherly love and sisterly affection has made this moment in the light happen."

[Rhywun]

Cue the Clinton-with-halo pics.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The joke's ruined by having to put the The Revenant stamp on the video!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Robo Vogue, robo beauty's where you robo find it.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Uh, it's inappropriate to fast on Sundays. Rookie Lenten mistakes.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Thank you, panel. It's not goodbye, it's hello... TO THE DOOR.

[Dennis, Constitutional Peasant]

Penn Jillette looks like his skin has finally adjusted to his drastic weight loss. He looked like he had some intestinal parasite before. My inner child was scared of him.

[Dennis, Constitutional Peasant]

Now i can go back and finish listening to the podcast.

[Fist of Etiquette]

This is a pale imitation of 2 Minutes Hate. No Maxsmith anywhere to be found.

[Rhywun]

OT: Will upstate NY elect carpetbagger who wants to destroy their economy (more)?

"People are leaving because of high taxes and few jobs," says the guy who lost to Cuomo.

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