Inspiring New Trump Slogan: 'We Have a Man Who Wants to Lead Us'
GOP convention speakers scramble for reasons to elect their nominee.

Last night's speeches at the Republican National Convention featured a striking lack of enthusiasm for the party's presidential nominee. The closest thing to ringing praise came from New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, a former rival for the nomination who not long ago was slamming Donald Trump as a patently unserious candidate prone to "ridiculous" positions because he had "no experience" and no idea what he was talking about. In a convention speech that was mostly an indictment of Hillary Clinton, Christie implausibly described Trump as "a caring, genuine, and decent person."
Former Attorney General Michael Mukasey—who in January warned that "a Donald Trump presidency would imperil our national security" because of the blowhard billionaire's disregard for the law and his failure to present "a reality-based strategic vision," as opposed to "tantrums and homicidal fantasies"—had the decency to refrain from mentioning the candidate at all in a speech devoted to the dishonesty and lawlessness demonstrated by Clinton's email scandal. House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) mentioned Trump just once, claiming that "together, we in Congress [and] Donald Trump…can build a better America."
It was almost physically painful to watch House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) grasp for a reason to elect Trump. He tried out a couple of metaphors:
Here we are, at a time when men and women in both parties so clearly, so undeniably, want a big change in direction for America—a clean break from a failed system. And what does the Democratic Party establishment offer? What is their idea of a clean break? They are offering you a third Obama term, brought to you by another Clinton. And you're supposed to be excited about that.
It feels like we've been cleared for takeoff and somebody announced that we're heading back to the gate. It's like we've been on hold forever, waiting and waiting to finally talk to a real person, and somehow we've been sent back to the main menu.
But if Americans are passengers on a runway and Donald Trump is their pilot, they still have no idea where he intends to take them, and one can imagine destinations worse than returning to the gate. Likewise, if the "real person" who is supposed to help you with a billing question or offer technical support turns out to be an obnoxious huckster with a long history of making promises he can't keep, maybe you'd prefer to wait on hold, listening to a piece of Vivaldi's Four Seasons play over and over again.
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) had a similar problem in presenting Trump, a shameless prevaricator who has taken every position on nearly every issue, as an alternative to Clinton, a candidate whose lies and flipflops make her unfit for the presidency. "Hillary has changed her positions so many times, it's impossible to tell where the conviction ends and the ambition begins," McConnell said. "Not since Baghdad Bob has there been a public figure with such a tortured relationship with the truth. Fortunately, there's a clear choice before us, and it's not Hillary." To his credit, McConnell never actually said it was Trump.
Despite the desultory treatment Trump received from his quarter-hearted supporters, it is possible to construct some fresh alternatives to "Make America Great Again" from the material in these speeches:
We Republicans have made our choice. (Ryan)
Only with Donald Trump and Mike Pence do we have a chance at a better way. (Ryan)
Let's elect a president and a vice president who believe America is exceptional. (McConnell)
We have an alternative. (Christie)
We have a man who wants to lead us. (Christie)
We have a man who is unafraid. (Christie)
We need a leader who shapes the future. (McCarthy)
Disrupt the status quo. (McCarthy)
Other suggestions are welcome.
Editor's Note: As of February 29, 2024, commenting privileges on reason.com posts are limited to Reason Plus subscribers. Past commenters are grandfathered in for a temporary period. Subscribe here to preserve your ability to comment. Your Reason Plus subscription also gives you an ad-free version of reason.com, along with full access to the digital edition and archives of Reason magazine. We request that comments be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment and ban commenters for any reason at any time. Comments may only be edited within 5 minutes of posting. Report abuses.
Please
to post comments
Boy, the Trump at this place is really terrible.
Yeah, I know. And such small hands!
If ever there was, now is the time in history for our nation to come together in a single voice to say, "Fuck it."
It could be worse,we still have beer.
For now.
Leave it to one of these two to sign some legislation that kills the craft beer movement.
...for the Children!
"Send in the Clowns"
Next week.
What difference, at this point, does it make? They're here.
They're jokers, not clowns. Clowns are to the left.
We Republicans have made our choice. (Ryan)
That's got to be my favorite.
*reaches for whisky bottle, begins sobbing*
I guess I picked a bad time to quit sniffing glue.
That's right up there with "The people have spoken, the bastards!"
I've read that when a losing candidate says "The people have spoken" -
it really translates to:
"If I'd known I had this many enemies I'd carry a gun!"
Gee, Paul, maybe if you had actually presented an effective opposition to Obama and the Democrats, this wouldn't be happening.
Governing is hard.
"I have my staffers read Atlas Shrugged so that they understand the adversary and concede to them very often."
"Hey, at least our blank slate cult of personality didn't come out of Chicago."
I like Dave Burge's old slogan for T. Codding Vorhees VII - "Together I will Ride You To Victory!"
Donald Trump. There are worse things.
Remember, a vote for Trump is a vote against Hillary. AND Bill.
This seems to be this election: Vote *against* the other candidate.
"None of the above" must be a legitimate choice.
America, isn't it time to put the mortgaging of your future into the hands of an expert?
"A New Chapter 11 For America!"
Other possible slogans:
What difference, at this point, does it make?
Just lie back and relax.
Calgon, take me away.
My instant regret has a last name, it's T-R-U-M-P.
Ancient Chinese secret, huh?
I thought we'd confine the bathing allusions to the soap thread.
Here's a slogan: "Just look at the fucking alternative!"
"He's NOT INSANE!"
Plagiarized from George Papoon, but WDATPDIM?
IDNKWTAISTS!
'At least my name's not Bush'.
Let burn this motherfucker down!
Other suggestions are welcome.
Are you not entertained?
No! Do a dance!
"If not now, when? If not here, where? If not Trump, who?"
One of the commentariat (not OMWC) came up with
"Vote Trump. Don't let the child molesters win."
My GOP convention: Hang a giant picture of Hillary on stage. Go home and wait for November.
"Take a dump with Trump"
ifh, I am *shocked*.
Plagiarizing the #DumpTrump movement people, indeed!
How could I not? I can resist everything except temptation.
You are a Wilde one. 😎
Build walls, burn bridges. Trump 2016!
I haven't looked at Hit and Run for over a week, so maybe this has been said already, but the few convention speeches I've sampled have been horrible. Even if you agreed with what was being said, the tone and enthusiasm exhibited would make a high school debate team seem like the Founding Fathers by comparison. Melania's speech, presented by a non-politician and partly plagiarized, was the best I've heard yet, if that's saying anything. And to top it off, the crowd seems small, lost, and unenthused.
I haven't watched any of it, but I suspect the single word you are looking for to sum it up is "self-loathing".
BURN IT DOWN WITH TRUMP
Vote Trump: He knows how to manage a bankruptcy.
I like it. How much are you charging for the bumpersticker?
We have a man who is unafraid. (Christie)
I thought Daredevil was "The Man Without Fear"?
Trump: America Doesn't Deserve Any Better
Nice!
"Trump: Words cannot describe how great his presidency will be"
I thought of a better rephrasing: The Best That America Deserves
"Trump: The President This Country Deserves"
Never in my lifetime have I seen this level of distaste of both candidates for President. The RNC speakers clearly can't find a damn thing good to say about Trump - they simply feel a sense duty to the party. Is anyone really fooled into thinking that all these people changed their opinion of him, and now feel he'll make great president, after what they said about him during the primaries?
Trump can't run on his own substance because, quite frankly, he has none. His, and the party's, campaign from here on is going to be "vote for me because...Hillary". When it's time for the DNC, we'll see the same effect in reverse. It's striking, the lack of substance of these two candidates.
Is anyone really fooled into thinking that all these people changed their opinion of him
I doubt it. More than likely, Trump supporters are reveling in seeing the establishment debase itself. The fact that it isn't genuine is only makes it sweeter for them -- it's a sign of their power (such as it is, for now).
Nice point
Well, I'm certainly reveling in it.
Trump 2016: Great, America
LOL
Nice, first one that legitimately drew a big smirk from me.
Dear Reason Staff: Look we know yo are part of the elite. That, therefore, explains why your whole staff is so pathetically stupid when it comes to Trump. But you don't have to look so pathetically stupid. Jesus, fucking at least try to act like you are not a disconnected elitist shitheads.
Y COSMO FAGS AT RESON NOT WANT MAK AMREICAER GRAT AGIN
Trump '16: Good and Hard
Hillary '16: Bad and Soft
Eww.
Note: Hillary can only be described as "soft" when she is in the stage immediately after having moulted her exoskeleton.
Trump: He'll Make The Links Run On Time
Yes, there are far worse things than having the plane piloted by Trump going back to the gate. Perhaps Ryan would like to consider the use of any of these next time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5Z-d1Zx02o
Trump: Because Fuck You That's Why
I knew it! "The Case for Hillary"! Reason really is a den of progs pretending to be libertarians! COZMO CUCK-FAGZ!11!!11!!!!!!! GO BAK 2 YOR KOCKTAIL PARTIEZ!!1!!!1!!1!!!!!!! /sarc
As opposed to faithfully perform the executive duties of the president as laid out in the constitution. The fact that this is apparently what the majority of voters want - to be lead like cattle - is enough to make me sincerely hope for a killer asteroid strike. Fuck everyone.
Yep. The "we need a leader who..." shit drives me nuts. They are supposed to be our representatives.
Does Team Politics cause the "leader" rhetoric, or does the "leader" rhetoric cause the Team Politics?
"He's impeachable"
There is only one reason needed:
Hillary is a Greater Evil than The Donald.
Government provides you the facility to check your uidai card status through SMS which is a very handy process for most of the peoples. All you have to do is send a SMS to 51969. To check aadhar status by Phone