Election 2016

Meet Mike Pence, Possible Donald Trump Vice President

The Indiana guv is a social conservative, surveillance-state booster, drug warrior...and budget hawk. So where does that leave libertarians? Still #NeverTrump.


Mike Pence
Gage Skidmore, Flickr, Wikimedia

Republican Indiana Gov. Mike Pence, says the Washington Times, has a "95 percent probability" of being named Donald Trump's vice presidential candidate.

So what kind of pol is the 57-year-old Pence, who has a law degree in his back pocket? He served five terms as a congressman from the Hoosier State, where he distinguished himself as a budget-cutter and a hard-core social conservative before succeeding Mitch Daniels as governor of Indiana in a tight election (he won with less than 50 percent of the vote in 2012). He's locked in a tough re-election battle and has to file papers by the end of the week if he wants to be the GOP's vice presidential nominee. He describes himself as "a Christian, a conservative and a Republican, in that order."

Some highlights—and lowlights—from his public career so far:

  • He served as president of the free-market Indiana Policy Review Foundation and hosted a state-wide TV show in the early 1990s. The IPRF lists its mission as trying to "Exalt the truths of the Declaration of Independence, especially as they apply to the interrelated freedoms of religion, property and speech; Emphasize the primacy of the individual in addressing public concerns; and Recognize that equality of opportunity is sacrificed in pursuit of equality of results."
  • He succeeded the awful Dan Burton as an Indiana congressman in 2001 and became the head of the budget-slashing Republican Study Committee and he supported numerous free-trade deals along with the Iraq War.
  • In 2014, Pence was one of just four governors to earn a grade of A in the Cato Institute's Fiscal Policy Report Card, mostly because he proposed spending increases of less than 2 percent and revenue decreases (tax cuts) of just under 2 percent.
  • In 2015, he expanded Medicaid under Obamacare, though unlike most governors, he held out for something other than a straight-up expansion, claiming he introduced a "market-based" plan that Peter Suderman said was "actually a deal between hospital lobbyists and the [Obama] Administration."
  • He also tried to create a state-operated news organization called Just IN that would have produced "free" news and feature stories for news outlets. From Ballotpedia: "Matthew Tully of the [Indianapolis] Star…criticized the initiative by saying, 'The state's conservative governor is creating his own news agency, one that will seek to compete with the traditional media and be funded by taxpayers. You can't make this stuff up, unless you work at the Onion, I guess.'"

  • OnTheIssues.org

    Also in 2015, he helped cause a shitstorm over Indiana's Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA) by simultaneously insisting that the law didn't sanction discrimination but did preserve the rights of businesses to deny service to LGBT customers under various situations. Come on, gov, it's one or the other, noted Jacob Sullum. The law was subsequently revised in a way that struck "the worst possible balance" between individual rights and state action, according to Shikha Dalmia. More recently, in his 2016 State of the State address, he said, "I will not support any bill that diminishes the religious freedom of Hoosiers or that interferes with the Constitutional rights of our citizens to live out their beliefs in worship, service or work." That was widely understood to mean that he would not sanction the addition of sexual orientation or identity to antidiscrimination laws, a position in keeping with all his public statements on marriage and sexuality.

  • A key line in that same speech was "Jobs, the economy, schools, roads and confronting drug abuse. These are my priorities." He laid out various spending proposals on such issues and bragged, "Our state has been leaning into the war on drugs and will continue to go hard after those who would profit from selling drugs to our kids." In March, he signed legislation increasing mandatory minimums for drug dealers.

So where does all of this leave libertarians? Pence is pretty damn good on spending issues and unlike a lot of Republican governors, his tax cuts haven't bankrupted his state (take a bow, Sam Brownback). That's not a small achievement and neither was his willingness to vote down Medicare prescription drugs and No Child Left Behind when he was in Congress. At one point while in Congress, he proposed an immigration plan that would have allowed illegals to apply for legal status but only after they removed themselves from the U.S. of A. Conservatives screamed that "touchback amnesty" was just as bad as letting foreigners stay here. By the same token, he's hostile to marriage equality and laissez-faire lifestyle issues more generally (including the war on drugs), hawkish on foreign policy, and truly terrible on government surveillance. He hates Syrian refugees, of course, and while he really hates the federal government, his first budget as governor included federal dollars covering 35 percent of outlays.

Which is to say that Pence is not the worst of the Republican bunch but he's not the best, especially from a libertarian perspective. He is very much a modal Republican and, as such, is hardly going to be a game-changer one way or the other. There's a reason only 26 percent of Americans identify as Republican and Pence's various positions help to explain why. Whatever the benefits of his economic positions, coupling them with generally reactionary cultural positions and abject servility to state surveillance and an interventionist foreign policy leaves more and more people—and certainly libertarians—stone cold.

Exactly what he would bring to the GOP ticket electorally is anybody's guess but generally speaking, there's no reason to believe that any vice-presidential candidate matters very much in terms of winning or losing elections. Even Sarah Palin in 2008, a pick that at least kept the McCain campaign wheezing along for at least a few extra weeks, essentially had no positive or negative influence on the outcome, according to most analysts. And there's certainly no reason to think that Pence is going to matter very much to many people when it comes to pulling the lever this way or that.

Here's a 2008 Reason TV video with Pence at the Republican National Convention in which the governor lays out the case for why libertarians should support the GOP candidate John McCain.

NEXT: Sure, Police Can Get Confused Seeing People Open Carrying Weapons in the Midst of a Mass Shooting. That's Not a Good Reason to Rethink the Legality of "Open Carry."

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  1. #neverpresidentALL because everything about this shit stinks like goddamn crap angels

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  2. "There's no reason to believe that any vice-presidential candidate matters very much in terms of winning or losing elections."

    If Trump's primary concern is making it through the convention, he should pick Gingrich.

    If anyone can hold the various Republican constituencies together and bring them on board stop them from jumping ship, it's Gingrich.

    Or rather, if Gingrich can't do that for Trump, no one can.

    And after Trump's latest efforts to win the Republican establishment over ended with threats to unseat Republicans that aren't even up for election, Trump desperately needs a liaison to the Republican Party.

    1. No. It's better to let him suffer, fail, and wallow in rejection.

      1. In 2008, "Republicans for Hillary" was a real thing.



        Trump may get ten times that "Republicans for Hillary" if he doesn't shore himself up at the convention.

        It may get so bad, you start feeling sorry for him.

        1. Well, I already feel the press is punching down..m but can you feel sorry if he refuses to acknowledge HE is the reason no one likes him?

    2. Nothin says winnin like a guy named Newt.

      1. Yup, he doesn't even reach the level of a salamander.

  3. I, for one, would prefer to save the jeremiads until after Trump announces his VP pick.

    1. What's the point? It's going to be awful- might as well admit it now.

      1. Well, I'd want to get the specifics correct.

        1. Specifically, it's pretty awful.

      2. Whoever Trump picks is gonna be better than William Weld.


        1. Hey siv... suckabagofdicks

        2. Meh, I don't know so much about that. Looks like Trump is trying his best to out Weld ol Gay Jay.

          1. Wait and see who Trump picks. Weld is bad on almost everything.

            1. Dude, so far who has Trump mentioned? Jeff Sessions, Mike Pence(WTF?), Newt, Sheriff Joe(Really WTF?), Christie? Crikey! Can he get worse? I mean Sessions is the best of those and he's just a boring old fart.

              1. This is all a game before the BIG REVEAL.

    2. this.

      if anything, i think these "week before convention" leaks are intended to disappoint people so that the (otherwise incredibly dull) actual news comes as a pleasant surprise.

      1. Springing a true surprise is good because if you play it right your adversary dumps the press releases with all the oppo on the wrong person. Even better if the media runs it.

  4. Hi Mike, nice to meet you. Now fuck off slaver.

  5. Should Trump run with Chris Christie or Mike Pence? There's a British proverb: "Take care of the pence, and the pounds will take care of themselves."

    [Nods pensively]

    1. Christie will be Transportation Secretary.

  6. What are the odds that there is a riot at the convention in Cleveland and the delegates burn the party to the ground? 10:1?

    1. Im just looking forward to the New Black Panthers getting some quality TV time.

      1. Well, they aren't using the same actor for the movie... and no Winter soldier- but I'm down.

    2. A Republican riot? Pretty low.

      Left-wingers are going to be rioting, though

  7. Trump/Pence: None the Richer

    1. The Trumpence?

      1. That's half-sixpence, guv'nor.

  8. indiana democrats keep getting lucky. first they go from a blowout in the senate race to a probable win, and now, if trump is so kind, they'll pick up the statehouse too.

    pence is the best on the list we know about. i'm continually impressed though by the lack of good options trump has. it's like people don't like him or something. picking a governor that only would've won reelection because the state is a bright shade of red isn't exactly inspiring.

  9. The political compass. Man, I haven't take that quiz in years. As I recall, my dot landed somewhere perpendicular to the hypotenuse of the parallelogram. And it was more of a pentagram than a dot, if I remember correctly.

    1. perpendicular to the hypotenuse of the parallelogram

      (takes copy of "Mohammed Speaks", buys bean pie, bumps fist)

  10. OT:

    Bill Kristol Verified account

    'm old enough to remember when the Republican nominee was pro-war, pro-TPP, and pro-Wall Street...and proud of it!

    Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump
    Bernie sanders has abandoned his supporters by endorsing pro-war pro-TPP pro-Wall Street Crooked Hillary Clinton.

    1. How many dicks do you think Kristol fantasizes about taking at one time... over under is 3.

      1. 3.5.

        1. Thank you Rufus for clarifying; no pushes!

  11. according to Shikha Dalmia

    If'n Shikha fer it, I'm ag'in it, and vice versa.

  12. What the fuck is a Mike Pence? Looks like a big old redneck to me.

    1. I thought rednecks are Southeners?

      1. Well, I guess you've never been to Indiana. Kentuckians move to Indiana, get on a tractor, their neck gets red, instant redneck. Hoosiers are sort of funny critters. Not one of them are more than a generation removed from Eastern KY, yet they make fun of them hillbillies from down there in them hills, and when you mention to them that their dad is sitting in the other room and can hear them, they get furious.

        1. I only drove through it on my way to Chee-ka-goo.

        2. I went to middle and high school in New Castle, Indiana. The joke was, "In Kentucky, they teach the The R's.

          And Route 3 to New Castle."

          But seriously, I was raised in Chapel Hill, NC and Killeen, TX. The first "southern accent" I ever dealt with on daily basis was when I moved to Indiana.

          1. Don't they have a famous Stonehenge-like Indian mound in New Castle, IN?

            1. There are burial mounds all over Henry County, and I suspect there are some in Baker Park, in New Castle. But you're probably thinking of the Serpent Mound in Ohio, or those other ones in... Anderson, IN?

      2. Y'ever been to S'urn Innyanna

        The 1920s version of the KKK was HUGE in Innyanna. Not that all crimson collared folks are Klansmen...,
        but once you leave the I-80/Chicagoland/Michiana band, and subtracting Indianoplace, the Hoosier state is culturally very southern. In that way it's like "Little Egypt" in Illinois or the parts of the Buckeye State the call "uhhiya."


        1. Indiana is not "culturally southern".

          The biggest KKK states were Indiana and Pennsylvania.

          The second group was founded in 1915, and flourished nationwide in the early and mid-1920s, particularly in urban areas of the Midwest and West. It opposed Catholics and Jews, especially newer immigrants, and stressed opposition to the Catholic Church[

          We never had any problems with Jews and Catholics in the South. They were always valued members of the community.

          Then there was the Kanuck Kontingent of the KKK

          They were big in Sakatchewan.

          1. Indiana is culturally 'asshole'.

            1. I never even stopped for gas.

              1. "Because I would not stop for gas, he kindly stopped for me (or something like that)."--Emily Dickenson

            2. Most of Indiana is St. Louis spread thinly.

          2. "The first registered provincial chapter was registered in Toronto in 1925 by two Americans and a Torontonian. The organization was most successful in Saskatchewan, where it briefly influenced political activity and whose membership included a federal Member of Parliament in the House of Commons."


            /Mr. Burns.

            1. They didn't like you Dagos ;^)

              1. No they didn't. Meh. No one liked anyone. Now we're all multicultural!

                Canada has its own racist past but you know, easier to point to Americans. Makes us feel grrreat!

                1. Apparently y'all canucks know how to brown a marshmallow right proper, though, at least as far as Gavin Mcinnes tells it.

        2. kevrob|7.12.16 @ 10:05PM|#
          "Y'ever been to S'urn Innyanna"

          Or northern:
          "Ku Klux Klan
          On July 4, 1923, Kokomo achieved national notoriety when it hosted the largest Ku Klux Klan gathering in history. An estimated 200,000 Klan members and supporters gathered in Malfalfa Park for a mighty Konklave and the elevation of D. C. Stephenson to Grand Dragon of the Indiana Klan.[52][53] A huge flag was used that day to collect a reported $50,000 for construction of a local "Klan hospital" so that Klan members would not have to be treated at the only local hospital, which was Catholic.[54] At that time Indiana was a Klan stronghold, and as many as 50 percent of white males in parts of Indiana were Klan members.[55] Both men's and women's Klans held weekly rallies and initiations in Malfalfa Park, and Kokomo's Klanswomen held meetings at the armory, the local headquarters of the Women of the Ku Klux Klan, and churches. A speech at a Baptist church was attended by 1000 Klanswomen.[56]"

      3. I suppose strictly speaking they are. But it's also used in lots of other places to refer to certain "land poor" rural people.

  13. I was just looking at Gallup.

    Hillary's favorable ratings have been stuck at about 40% for the last seven months. If that number holds, she'll come into office only about 10% better than when Richard Nixon left office.

    Historically, Presidents tend to come into office with somewhere close to 60% approval, and generally speaking, their approval doesn't tend to go up much while they're in office--unless they win a war like George H.W. Bush soaring up to 90% approval circa 1991.

    What are the odds Hillary will become wildly popular after successfully invading Syria and making democracy bloom in the desert like an oasis? I'd say those chances are pretty slim.

    I'm looking at this huge pile of horseshit and trying to find a pony in it somewhere. If there is one for libertarians, maybe it's that regardless of whomever wins, we're probably looking at an extremely unpopular one term President.

    If we must have an authoritarian jackass for President (and we're looking at six of one or half a dozen of the other), libertarians should want one that's wildly unpopular, right? 'cause popular authoritarians are the worst kind of authoritarians.

    So, don't say I never look at the bright side.

    1. Plus side? She was pro free trade before she was against it. Also, it'a a known evil (continuation of 32 years of failed policy.)

      Downside... everything else.

    2. I keep going over this situation in my mind and trying to visualize how it will turn out. I'm running several simultaneous simulations of it currently and they all suck ass. The way I figure it right now, the only possible outcome is that we're fucking doomed. Someone please choose the form of our destroyer. I'm off to dig my bunker and stock up on hard liquor.

      1. Hillary wins in a landslide. This makes her think there is a mandate for her platform. We are all screwed too, because demo sweep open seats as a protest against trump and take the congress...

        I'm never wrong. I told GWB he would be president in 1997 when I met him as a teenager in Austin. I saw Obama'a election and reelection. The only thing I've missed is the SCOTUS ruling on ACA... because I thought rationally AND got my hopes up.

        1. You're wrong.

          Trump is Brexit.

    3. Your bright side makes me want to put a pistol in my mouth (just kidding).

    4. Trump could become very popular. Enough to win a second term anyways.

      1. Are you on 'shrooms?

        1. I don't see Hillary breaking 50% popularity...ever.

          1. Doesn't have to be popular, just more so than the alternative.
            So does Kne have it nailed? 'Shrooms?

            1. Ken who says nee? Pass the shrooms, rat fuckers.

    5. So Justin Amash 2020?

  14. From the ontheissues.org link, he appears to be fairly good on economic issues and fairly terrible on civil liberties. Kind of par for the course for a Rep.

    1. And, a big negative, he will agree to be trump's running mate...

    2. Guy sounds like an Indiana Republican. Amazing.

  15. He looks like a wax statue of himself.

    1. He's a wax statue of a statist asshole. So yeah, spot on.

    2. Gotta give Trump points for picking a James Bond villain as his running mate.

      1. I doubt Pence is going to be the VP.

        1. Like Nukular Newt is better.

          1. Perhaps it will be worth it just to have everyone around here calling him Newcular Titties again.

  16. Funny, right now the only website I can reach is HnR, which isn't such a bad situation really. However, it prevents me from researching Spot the Nots. I was going to do one about Senator Metzenbaum(?) who said something like "I don't care about crime, I just want to get rid of the guns". He has a number of other gun-grabby quotes I thought would make a good STN.

    The other thing I was going to research was how many people are seriously proposing banning recording of police on the grounds that recordings might inspire violence against police. I know the warped minds of authoritarians well. If the problem is violence inspired by videos of police brutality, the solution must be to make it illegal to document police brutality.

    Pence loses serious points with me for appealing to the children, as if kindergartners are the ones buying weed.

  17. Here's about the most pleasant and positive sun shiney happy way to put it.

    Everyone got fucking screwed and better get the soap.

    Berniebots got fucking screwed because their guy lost and then endorsed the person they hate the most.

    Hillary voters got fucking screwed because even they don't want the old hag, but they seem to be stuck with her. They knows she's fucking horrid.

    Trump voters got fucking screwed because they thought they were voting for the outsider and it turns out he's just another statist asshole looking for a statist asshole running mate.

    Libertarians got fucking screwed because we got Gary Johnson and his statist buddy Weld.

    Everyone is fucking screwed. Have a happy day. Libertarian fucking moment.

    1. IIRC, there's some ancient Scandinavian religion in which, no matter what, everyone goes to Hell.

      1. The Vikings believed that warriors who died in battle would go to Valhalla, where they would feast and fight until the last day when they would fight with the gods and against frost giants who were destined to conquer them. Everyone else who died before then would go to a gloomy underworld.

        I'd settle for a libertarian Ragnarok if it meant a chance to see statist assholes get shoved into the woodchipper equivalent of Mjolnir.

      2. Maybe plate tectonics has gradually shifted that region until the USA is now directly over it?

    2. I see another silver lining: if enough awful people get elected, people will want to shrink the govt.

      1. We can hope. But as long as they can keep the free stuff flowing, I'm not too confident.

        Maybe we can hack Pokemon Go and embed subliminal libertarian messages into it?

        1. "...as long as they can keep the free stuff flowing..."

          Unfortunately that will not be an end to their nonsense, but merely a means to further their nonsense.

          Look at Venezuela. The free stuff is not flowing, yet the ruling class continue to consolidate power. Sure, one day they will fall, but when that occurs the result will not be power devolving to the people it will mean an ever more impoverished people ruled by a minority in control of most every aspect of what little remains.

      2. No, people will just want more government because if we get enough we're bound to have *someone* decent.

  18. That was the exact opposite of pleasant and sunshiney. Pretty accurate though.

  19. He needs a moisturizing eye cream.

  20. Spot the Not: Howard Metzenbaum

    1. I don't care about crime, I just want to get the guns.

    2. My thinking is if you have a gun, you should have to turn it in or go to prison.

    3. No, we're not looking at how to control criminals... we're talking about banning the AK-47 and semi-automatic guns.

    4. What good does it do to ban some guns. All guns should be banned.

    5. Until we can ban all of them [firearms], then we might as well ban none.

    6. Do not let the forces of evil take over to make this a Christian America.

    1. I'll go with 6. just doesn't sound right. not that it should.

    2. 5. Total guess.

    3. 2 is the not. That is my paraphrase of a Rosie O'Donnell quote.

      "I don't care about crime, I just want to get the guns." It's good to know that some gun grabbers are honest. The shit heel still managed to pass the waiting period rule for handguns.

  21. When did they change "Authoritarian" to "Populist" on the Nolan Chart?

    1. Must be those "On the Issues" fucks who get everything totally wrong. I just checked a bunch of Nolan Charts and the foreign ones call libertarian "liberal".

    1. This seems to be a trend in the Obama admin. I think they're now convinced they don't have to answer questions and there's no consequences.

      1. I keep waiting for some frustrated congresscreature to really throw a tantrum.

        Or at least say something like, "With all due respect, Madame Attorney General, will you simply answer my fucking question?"

      2. I think they're now convinced they don't have to answer questions and there's no consequences.

        Are they wrong?

        One of their chief administrators was exempted from even the modest rebuke of an indictment by what was supposed to be a very honorable public servant. The woman is guilty, and her political opposition can't be bothered even entertaining the premise of charging her with a crime.

        Obama et al. are correct: they're exempt from little-people laws.

  22. So where does that leave libertarians? Still #NeverTrump.


    Trump is the only hope to stop the US from becoming permanent one party state for Big Government. I you care about freedom, Trump is the only pick.

    This is the Big Game. Electoral power. All other issues are derivative.

    Repubs can barely beat Dems now. Four years of Hillary and amnesty and open borders and the Left will own an electoral majority for Big Government in Presidential elections. They already own the federal bureaucracy. They will own the Presidency and the Supreme Court too. The US will be a one party Progressive state.

    Game Over.

    The US will never have any chance of liberty again if Hillary wins. If Trump wins, the spigot of Big Government voters is turned off. That preserves a *chance*, that one day, liberty returns.

    PEW Research report on Muslim Americans
    Muslims Lean Democratic over Republicans over 6 to 1
    Muslims Want bigger government over smaller government over 3 to 1

    1. PEW Research on Hispanic Americans
      Hispanics Lean Democratic over 3 to 1
      Hispanics Want Bigger Government Providing More Services over 3 to 1

      1. You're wasting your time, BBAD.

        It won't be Muslim-Americans that shift the country blue---unlike France, and Europe to a lesser degree, there aren't enough of them, even if Obama and Hilary turn MAC into taxis from MENA. As your second post notes, it's Hispanics. And, to a lesser extent, Blacks. Which is really funny, considering the social conservative tendencies of most new immigrant Latin-Americans. Yet another fuck up from the GOP...

        What will happen if Hil wins (and I still think she is removed sometime shortly after the Convention, but I'm in a very small group with that opinion) is that there will be another credit crisis/TARP/MidEast going nuclear type of economic event that will break the system and cause people to start starving. And it's usually only when people start starving that revolutionary change happens.

    2. Eh, Muslims are only about 1% of the population. The biggest group of would-be prog voters is millennials.

      And most of Team Red voters are fine with big gov too. About the only good things you can say about them is they won't try to chip away and the RTKA or foist SJW nonsense like letting people use whatever bathroom they want. They like the war of drugs, a bloated military, and many other stupid things.

    3. There's a lot to be said for destroying the Republican party and replacing it with something else. That alone is reason enough to root for Trump. He's not a libertarian but he's much more of the "Old Right" than the "Authoritarian Populist" our favorite cosmotarian magazine repeatedly fails to portray him as. I'm kinda surprised Doherty hasn't explained that. If Reason fired him for it he could always sue under the ADA for not accommodating his dyslexia.

      1. SIV|7.12.16 @ 11:00PM|#
        "There's a lot to be said for destroying the Republican party and replacing it with something else. That alone is reason enough to root for Trump."

        Man, those straws are getting hard to grasp, aren't they SIV?

        1. As th #NeverTrumpers keep reminding us: "HE'S NOT A REPUBLICAN AT ALL"

          See Bill Kristol's tweet

          1. He can be an honorary Republican for the sake of winning the primary. But he won't be an actual Republican until he loses the general.

    4. Well I suppose its telling then that Trump is deciding to nail down the grumpy old white men voter base so that when they lose they can at least spend the next four years telling everyone to get off their lawn

  23. I predict Gingrich. Why? Because Trump is becoming increasingly desperate and delusional. He needs a true believer to wage war for him. Pence is a pussycat in a situation where he needs a lion. He can't choose Christie because, ironically, Christie is too darn principled.

    1. You're not a serious empire until you have delusional leaders.

      Rome had, for example, Nero, Commodus and Heliogabalus.

    1. These euphemisms are so obscure.

    2. Frankie! Thanks for not reluctantly and following industry 'best practices' tying weights to my ankles and watching me 'breathe water' today. (Or are you the droner? Sorry I can't keep you guys straight.)

      1. Shreek is so cute when he plays the victim.

  24. OT, just for Pelosi fans:


    Scroll down to the second image; some Chron photo editor just got fired.

    1. To continue reading this article you need to be a subscriber of the San Francisco Chronicle

      He was saved by the paywall

  25. Dumbass fucks with Canadian anthem at All-Star game.


    1. There's a lot of that going around these days in the great white north...

  26. Once upon a time, I had an argument about the RTKA. I said if celebrities and politicians can have armed bodyguards, why can't other people carry a weapon? His response was basically that those are *important* people who face *real* danger and I'm just a peasant who should just call the cops in case of trouble.

    It can't be said enough that progs believe in a caste system.

    1. progs believe in a caste system


    2. I sometimes think they long to go back to monarchy and feudalism.

  27. You can't be #NeverTrump. That just proves you hate poor people and love Hillary. Or some goddamn nonsense.

    If I had a switch that on the one hand decapitated Trump or the other disbarred Hillary from ever holding office, I'd very much hope the GOP can put up a better candidate in four years.

  28. Recent quote from a public figure:

    "We flood communities with so many guns that it is easier for a teenager to buy a Glock than get his hands on a computer, or even a book."

    Guess who?

    1. Thought I remembered, but I was wrong.

      I'll give a hint, though: it's a mendacious fuckwit gun-grabber.

    2. Umm.. Eric Holder?

      1. No, wait.. Leland Yee!

    3. BHO the Keynesian

    4. No libraries huh? I know there are libraries in those neighborhoods because I've worked in them!

    5. So I can buy a new firearm from Amazon without leaving my couch and have it overnighted to me just like a book or a computer?

      1. And Amazon was selling computers for $33 yesterday

    1. Wow. Age has not treated him, or his writers, especially well.

      1. Are you actually insinuating the he hasn't been a bitter, withered old fuck since he was like.. 5? Preposterous!

  29. While we're feeling sorry for ourselves over our inescapable fate of facing 4 years of what will surely make Obama a fond memory, we can take comfort in knowing that our English speaking neighbors across the pond are about to face an even worse fate. They escaped the EU and now:

    Brexit and now behold the face of horror

    Theresa May is the fucking Anti-Christ. If there is anyone on earth more evil than Hillary, right there it is.

  30. Clinton panders harder than anyone ever pandered before: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZW4ZYb1hfE

    1. Are you, like, feverishly posting from the base commissary/bar where you're using up your week's allowance of beer coupons before having to go back to your bunk?


      1. I didn't have much Pig Latin homework today, I'm bored, and I've done everything I needed to do today.

        Beer coupons? I wish.

        1. So tell us what it's like. I'm your age, not one of the fogies here who served his time. I have no idea what army life is like.

          1. A typical weekday for me

            0415 wake up
            0500 pt formation
            0610 shower, dress
            0700 breakfast
            0800 to 1200 class with 10 minute breaks each hour
            1200 to 1300 lunch
            1300 to 1500 class
            1500 to 1800 homework, study, gym
            1800 dinner
            1900 to 2200 me time, study
            2200 bed

            0800 wake up
            midnight curfew
            30 mins of cleaning barracks

            1. I heard a joke about an officer who hadn't had sex since 1956. The woman he was with was astonished and immediately invited him to bed with her. After they finished she exclaimed he hadn't forgotten a thing. He looked at his watch, puzzled, and told her of course not, it's only 2120 now.

              1. Fun fact: almost no one here actually uses military time when speaking, only in writing.

                1. Less fun fact: when I was a wee'un and a teacher first started teaching the class about telling time, I wasn't paying attention. No idea what I was thinking about, but I remember snapping back into focus when she started say "o'clock," and I remember distinction thinking Oh, great, another goddamn song I have to remember. "Oh clock."

                  1. o'clock=oh clock= oh canda?

                    You're Canadian?

                    1. I just remember hearing "o'clock," mistaking it for "oh, clock", and being very annoyed about having to remember another god damned song. I have no idea what I had against singing, but I was very annoyed for that couple moments, enough that it's stuck with me this long.

                2. But seriously, you've never heard the following sentence: "At oh one hundred hours, such and such did so and so etc etc military exposition"?

                  1. Never. Maybe it's different in a combat zone.

                    1. What's your MOS? I've been out for 8 years, and I STILL use military time when speaking to other vets.

          2. I thought the army would be wacky and fun like that movie Stripes, but instead it's been dark and disturbing like that movie Police Academy.

    1. My predictions for the next all-female reboots: Animal House, Blues Brothers, Police Academy

      1. You're a monster and you should feel bad about yourself.

        And you're probably not wrong.

        1. Top Gun, Rambo, Jaws

          An all female Jaws reboot. A female police chief and marine biologist is plausible, but a crusty, old, drunk female shark hunter?

          "Lemme tell ya Ms. Hooper. I was there at Black Friday 1982 at Macy's in New York City. Hundreds of us all pounding and hollering and screaming to get those Cabbage Patch dolls. That's the thing about a shopper's eyes- black like a Cabbage Patch doll. And when they get their hands on one, they roll over white and that horrible, high pitched screamin'...aw Ms. Hooper, I'll never go shopping again."

          1. AND AS I RAINED BLOWS UPON HIM, I thought... there's got to be a better way!

            I never saw Jaws, but this guy always struck me as a butch looking dude.

            1. Never seen Jaws? What are you doing here?!

          2. Oh, and as long as they don't touch Demolition Man. That may be the perfect movie. If there's an eventual reboot of Indiana Jones featuring Shia Labeouf's grandson rescuing the last extant copy of Demolition Man, it would be entirely appropriate.

            1. Ferris Bueller's Day Off may not be so lucky.

              1. Just think, the Nickelodeon kids doing the remake are probably going to think of Nickelodeon the way you do Prairie Home Companion.

            2. The Demolition Man "reboot/remake" will be a documentary.

      2. In time there will be enough aging women action heroes to staff an all-female Expendables movie.

        1. When your love interest is the mom from Gilmore Girls, you're pretty much three fifths the way there.

          1. Ummm... had the hots for her since she was the efficiency expert on news radio...

            1. Hell, I'm not saying I wouldn't. She definitely seemed like a better lay than Rory.

            2. Wow. When did I watch that show? That is damn familiar.

            3. RIP unfrozen caveman lawyer

        2. Betty White, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Sophia Loren, Judi Dench, and Maggie Smith.

      3. You are thinking way too far back. At the rate we are going, we'll get a Fast 7 all-remale reboot next year.

  31. That shot of Mike Pence reminds me of Odo.

    1. This right here

    2. Looks even more like a lizard person than Hillary does.

  32. He's a much better pick than Gingrich, at least. If you're running Clintons' crookedness, picking a running mate who was forced to resign as Speaker under an ethical cloud seems... stupid.

    1. *against Clintons' crookedness.

      This thing needs an edit button

  33. Showbox Download, Showbox Apk Download, Showbox App Download: Nowadays technology has brought a lot of changes in our lives, especially in education and communication.

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