Brickbats

Brickbat: Judicial Temperament

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Gavel
jkbeitz via Remodel Hackers / CC BY

It began with murder defendant Denver Fenton Allen asking Floyd County, Georgia Superior Court Judge Bryant Durham Jr. to appoint him another public defender. But before the hearing was over, Allen had told the judge to go fuck himself, told him to suck his dick, threatened to kill the judge's family and bragged about having a "big old donkey dick." Not to be outdone, the judge said Allen looked "like a queer," ordered him to masturbate in the courtroom, "guessed" he was going to find him guilty, and told him he would find out how "nasty" he could get.

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  1. Now, that’s dicking it out in court!…

  2. ‘Yes your honor it’s true,this man has no dick’.

  3. All this time I never realized Night Court was based on a real life judge’s courtroom!

  4. Huzzah! A new thread!

  5. I didn’t know SugarFree was a judge.

  6. The defendant

    The judge

    Floyd County, fulfilling stereotypes since 1832

  7. “I have appreciated the opportunity to serve the people of Floyd County as judge of Superior Court. I look forward to the opportunity to continue serving all citizens honestly, equally and with a sense of decorum,” Durham stated.

    And if that doesn’t work for ya’, go fuck yourself.

  8. I guess they shouldn’t have let FX do the reboot of Ally McBeal.

  9. …told him he would find out how “nasty” he could get.

    Did the defendant call him Miss Jackson? DID HE?

  10. Upon being elevated by the governor to the position of His Royal Judgeship, The Right Hon. J. Bryant Durham Jr had this to say:

    “I hope that I can give a judicial temperament that will be even-handed and fair. Everyone deserves their day in court. You’re so cute. ? I know all the inmates just love you to death,” he added, following with a pejorative term for oral sex.

  11. Sounds like just the person to be an intermediary between Bill Clinton and Loretta Lynch.

  12. BTW: I just noticed the link is to Rolling Stone. So how do we know this isn’t wholly made up?

    1. There’s a transcript online. Also, this is a fair point. There are plenty of other links for this story available, Oliver could have thought this one through a little better.

  13. Oh, those zany special-interests groups.

    Toronto held its annual gay pride parade on Sunday. It went well until radical #BlackLivesMatter activists shut it down.
    The group released a list of demands to the Toronto Gay Pride organizers.They want more cash and no more police floats.

    1. #CommentersForMoreCash

    2. They want more moneh, buddy!

  14. And Happy Independence Day to all

    1. except the Canucks, none for them!

  15. This one underscores a major hole in our legal system. The courtroom is ironically the one place where you are guaranteed to surrender your rights to due process and fairness.

    The judge is the sole arbiter of crimes of “contempt”, and can toss you in jail on his capricious whim. Remember the chick who got her bail increased by 5 grand (costing her $500 bucks in real cash) because she said “adios’ on the way out of court? Then he egged her on and gave her a month in jail for cursing him out? Everybody cheered because he gave the little spoiled brat her comeuppance. Where else in the world do you get to win little tiffs by stealing money and tossing someone in jail?

    Oh, I guess jail is the other place. That Mother Jones piece about being a CO in a private prison talked about guards keeping prisoners in jail for months extra for petty offenses like taking a broom to sweep the floor at an undesignated time. Or worse, one guy didn’t have anyone local to move in with, so he had to wait an extra year to get out of prison because of a law stating that he had to have somewhere to go when he got out.

    WTF is wrong with us? Why do we put up with crap like this?

    Can you imagine some judge trying this crap with Hillary? Pretend she’s indicted for any of the several crimes we all know she committed… imagine the judge at the arraignment badgering her about rolling her eyes at something the prosecutor says. You can’t even imagine that happening, can you?

    1. You’re dying on the hill of contempt?

      You’re in court. Shut the fuck up and listen to the judge.

      Fuck’s sake.

  16. once upon a time deference in a court was just good manners,now when the GOV has lost credibility it’s just a sick game

  17. Stick a fork in us, coz we sound pretty done.

    In what I considered a propitiatory gesture, I added salmon to the grill ? but the semi-vegetarian didn’t eat fish, or like it, or something. My wife gave me a look that said “What in the world is wrong with you?” She then added aloud, “There is nothing here for her to eat.” Apparently my fallback position, that vegetarians should fill up on bread and cheese, was not hospitable.

    “This is not Mom’s Diner. Your choices are eat it or starve.”

    1. “It’s a big grill. If you don’t like what’s gonna be on it, bring whatever you want and we’ll cook that, too.”

  18. my best friend’s mom makes $74 an hour on the computer . She has been without work for five months but last month her payment was $19746 just working on the computer for a few hours. find more information …
    ?????????? http://www.factoryofincome.com

  19. Great job Reason! You’ve discovered one of Trump’s future Supreme Court appointments.

  20. Wow. That’s like literally beyond satire.

  21. Sounds like what Florida man calls “Tuesday”.

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