The Orlando Pulse Massacre has inspired a wave of stories about the Pink Pistols, a gay gun-rights and self-defense group. (As it says on their website, "We teach queers to shoot. Then we teach others that we have done so.") Aficionados of cable-news hysteria may remember another time the phrase "pink pistol" was percolating in the press: that time Bill O'Reilly interviewed an ex-cop about an alleged network of aggressive lesbian gangs.
The newspeg was a fight that had broken out in New York City in August 2006. A man named Wayne Buckle had hit on a 19-year-old woman as she passed him on the street; the woman, who was a lesbian, said no; Buckle then spat on her; and then the woman and her friends, also lesbians, beat the shit out of him and stabbed him. A year later, O'Reilly and his guest, police officer turned "Fox News crime analyst" Rod Wheeler, somehow transmuted this into a sign of a "lesbian gang epidemic," with Wheeler announcing that "there is this national underground network, if you will, Bill, of women that's lesbians—and also some men groups—that's actually recruiting kids as young as 10 years old." There were, he added, "well over 150 of these crews" in the D.C. area alone.
"Now, when they recruit the kids," O'Reilly asked, "are they indoctrinating them into, uh, homosexuality?"
Wheeler affirmed that they were. Then he declared that "some of these groups carry pink pistols. They call themselves the Pink Pistol Packing Group. And these are lesbians that actually carry pistols. That's 9-millimeter Glocks."
After the segment aired, much mockery ensued. Wheeler eventually issued a statement declaring that that he didn't mean those Pink Pistols and walking back various other comments:
Capitol
During the O'Reilly Factor segment on June 21st, while engaged in a discussion on Lesbian gangs, I inadvertently stated that gang members carry pistols that are painted pink and call themselves the "Pink Pistol Packing Group." I was not referring to the gay rights group "Pink Pistols" who advocates for the lawful rights of gays to carry weapons for protection. Further, I mentioned that there are "over 150 of these gangs" in the greater Washington DC area. What I actually meant is that there are over 150 gangs in the Washington DC area, some of which are in fact lesbian gangs. Lastly, I mentioned in the segment that there is this "national epidemic" of lesbian gangs. A better choice of words would have been to say that there is a growing concern nationally, and especially in major urban areas, of increased gang activity, which includes some lesbian gang activity.
I apologize for any misunderstanding this may have caused.
So basically: Gangs exist, and some gangsters are gay. Not quite as exciting a premise for an O'Reilly report.
(For past editions of the Friday A/V Club, go here. For more conspiracy theories about gay people, check out chapter three of this book.)
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We could learn a lot if, instead of watching "tonight's" newscast? we were always forced to watch one from 10 years earlier, highlighting the previous moral-panic du jour.
Someone needs to alert Bill O'Reilly to the menace posed by Hell's Grannies, a gang of old ladies who are terrorizing Bolton, assaulting and tormenting fit young men.
OT: A few decades ago a friend of mine was telling me a story about when he was riding a ferry boat and casually asked a lady what a bumper sticker meant that was on her car in front of his. Evidently it was popular among lesbians back then and she thought he was trying to cause trouble. Well evidently they were together as a group, started to get angry and this group of lesbians surrounded him. They backed down after he explained he was just asking a simple question, nothing more. I still laugh when I think about that story.
Odd: Most lesbians I meet are very guarded and defensive with me...until they get to know me. After they get to know me they turn into some of my best friends.
I would not feel the least bit intimidated by a gang of lesbians. Bill O is full of shit.
Also, the guy that spit on the lesbian and then had his ass whipped deserved it.
Well I was dancing at a night club one Friday night
And that night club bar was a little uptight
Yeah, I was dancing all alone a little self conscious
When some kids came up and said, "If you're dancing come with us."
And soon...
I was dancing in a lesbian bar, ah-oo, ah-oo
I was dancing in a lesbian bar, oo, oo, oo
I think we've just witnessed the real damage Lesbian Gangs will do to our communities:
Woman rampages through Edmonds neighborhood in U-Haul, crashes into house
A woman is accused of driving under the influence after she allegedly rampaged through an Edmonds neighborhood with a U-Haul truck and put the truck's nose into a residential garage.
She could have knocked.
Instead, police say a 23-year-old woman driving a U-Haul box truck burst through the garage door of an Edmonds home Friday morning. She has been arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence, said Sgt. Shane Hawley of the Edmonds Police Department.
Just before 6 a.m., Edmonds police received a series of 911 calls from neighbors in the area as the woman allegedly sped recklessly through the neighborhood, crashed into fences, took out landscaping features and hit mailboxes.
It really made MY day. I was at work when I started getting call after call from reporters, asking whether or not it had anything to do with the Pink Pistols. I was the National Media Spokesperson for the Pink Pistols at the time, and had to answer these idiotic allegations and assumptions. I managed to get enough pressure on the O'Reilly show that they got Wheeler to apologize and admit it had nothing to do with us. I think the final straw was when it got into Congressional Quarterly.
Bill'O escaped having to give the apology and retraction personally, by having Michelle Malkin do it for him when she was a guest host on his show.
--Gwen Patton
First Speaker, Pink Pistols International
Bill needs a big pink pistol shoved up his ass. His anti-gun bloviating(word of the day people) makes me ill.
Ahh, classic derp
We could learn a lot if, instead of watching "tonight's" newscast? we were always forced to watch one from 10 years earlier, highlighting the previous moral-panic du jour.
I think this is a great idea for a youtube show.
We're in the twitter era, broheim, what's past ain't prologue, it's utterly forgotten.
These lesbian gangs. Do they have... parties?
Yes, at involves lots of drama and uhauls.
Do they like...photographs? Wink wink, nudge nudge.
Any pillows involved? Please link to pics...for science.
Are they on the terrorist group watch list yet? They are defying their master, Captain Bathroom Nazi.
I mean, I'm sure they're at least banned from Derpbook and Twatter by now.
Bill O'Reilly is an idiot. Film, unfortunately, every weekday at 8:00 eastern time.
He's one of the most annoying people I've ever seen.
Bill "AR-15s are heavy weapons" O'Reilly. It's like he's actively trying to drive away his audience. Hopefully he'll lose his show.
AR-15's aren't heavy enough.
Especially when they can cause shoulder bruising.
::Sad Trombone::
He's looking out for me.
Between O'Reilly and Hannity, the Repubs certainly have at least a couple of partisan talking-point spewers of their own.
I can't listen to either. I get enough idiocy from the people in our locked units.
Shouldn't someone bookmark this thread, for the inevitable Shreeky "Durrrr Huurr Team Red PEANUTZZ!!!" post?
Every thread is a TEAM RED PEANUTZ thread to Shrike.
Agreed!
I agree....
Quincy punk rock episode!
"Lastly, I mentioned in the segment that there is this "national epidemic" of lesbian gangs."
"a sultry, naughty, alluring trap of an epidemic. Um, I gotta go."
And here's their sultry, steamy boss
Excellent Bozo alt text.
The Lizzie's from "The Warriors" are gonna sue for IP B
Mainstream news stories increasingly remind me of this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keP4MBI1taY
I apologize for any misunderstanding this may have caused.
And then he promised to never do it again, right?
Female gang members terrify me. Last year a few of them started yelling at me and if they came at me my plan was to run to the police station.
What about pre-soiling your underw.... Wait a minute!.... CJ? Underwear?
You almost had me there (but, not like one of those terrifying gangs).
If only I had known about that! Prevents fruit from being raped, and Crusty from mean ladies.
::shudders::
Ugggh! The horror!
Not cool.
You being savaged by "mean ladies" isn't a shudder-able scene???
Someone needs to alert Bill O'Reilly to the menace posed by Hell's Grannies, a gang of old ladies who are terrorizing Bolton, assaulting and tormenting fit young men.
OT: A few decades ago a friend of mine was telling me a story about when he was riding a ferry boat and casually asked a lady what a bumper sticker meant that was on her car in front of his. Evidently it was popular among lesbians back then and she thought he was trying to cause trouble. Well evidently they were together as a group, started to get angry and this group of lesbians surrounded him. They backed down after he explained he was just asking a simple question, nothing more. I still laugh when I think about that story.
Who refuses to wear the ribbon!?!
We teach queers to shoot.
From the hip?
LOCK your wrist, dammit!
If only I can have the misfortune of being gang-raped by a bunch of lesbians.
If it has to happen, I want the lipstick lesbians, not the bus-driver type.
Every man's dream.
Why would lesbians rape a man?
Odd: Most lesbians I meet are very guarded and defensive with me...until they get to know me. After they get to know me they turn into some of my best friends.
I would not feel the least bit intimidated by a gang of lesbians. Bill O is full of shit.
Also, the guy that spit on the lesbian and then had his ass whipped deserved it.
This x10. Spitting on people is the vilest thing ever. People who spit on others should have their tongue and saliva glands cut out.
Drinkin' beer in a cabaret
And was I havin' fun!
Then one night she caught me right
And now I'm on the run
Lay that pistol down, babe
Lay that pistol down
Pistol packin' mama
Lay that pistol down
Well I was dancing at a night club one Friday night
And that night club bar was a little uptight
Yeah, I was dancing all alone a little self conscious
When some kids came up and said, "If you're dancing come with us."
And soon...
I was dancing in a lesbian bar, ah-oo, ah-oo
I was dancing in a lesbian bar, oo, oo, oo
I think we've just witnessed the real damage Lesbian Gangs will do to our communities:
http://www.seattletimes.com/se.....nds-house/
Butch, not Rod, would be a better name for a lesbian gang analyst.
Lesbian Gang Menace
Band name?
It really made MY day. I was at work when I started getting call after call from reporters, asking whether or not it had anything to do with the Pink Pistols. I was the National Media Spokesperson for the Pink Pistols at the time, and had to answer these idiotic allegations and assumptions. I managed to get enough pressure on the O'Reilly show that they got Wheeler to apologize and admit it had nothing to do with us. I think the final straw was when it got into Congressional Quarterly.
Bill'O escaped having to give the apology and retraction personally, by having Michelle Malkin do it for him when she was a guest host on his show.
--Gwen Patton
First Speaker, Pink Pistols International