Hillary Clinton

Hillary and the Extraterrestrials

Three reasons to appreciate Clinton's fascination with UFOs

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Sitcom pitch: "Young alien deals with the pressures and problems of growing up, and by the way her father is the president."
Weekly World News

Hillary Clinton's thoughts on UFOs have been a running side story of the 2016 campaign. Every now and then an interviewer will ask her about sky saucers, and she'll reply with an apparently earnest pledge to open the government's files on the subject, sometimes adding that we can't say for sure whether we're alone in the universe. Now The New York Times has put together a detailed story on her interest in extraterrestrials, which turns out to go at least as far back as 1995, when she was spotted hauling around Paul Davies' book Are We Alone? while visiting Laurance Rockefeller.

It's easy to mock this, but I've decided it's actually one of the few things I like about Hillary Clinton. I've got three reasons:

1. At least she wants to be transparent about something. I'd rather she pardon Snowden, end the Leak Scare, stop the war on whistleblowers, and battle Washington's overclassification epidemic. But a smidge is better than nada.

2. Almost every aspect of Clinton's public persona feels like it was designed by a committee of PR professionals after they spent a year asking focus groups what they'd like to see in a firm-but-caring suburban grandmother. Her interest in something vaguely weird and disreputable is one of the few signs she's not a pod person.

3. If she is a pod person, this is our chance to find out.

In any event, you should check out the New York Times piece, which among other factlets describes the X-Files fan club that John Podesta ran in Bill Clinton's White House. To read the story, go here.

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  1. Coming up next: Her Majesty Hillary I will announce Bigfoot as her VP pick, and the Loch Ness Monster as SecState!

    1. Hillary is a Wraith,she sucks the life out of anyone near by. You can tell by her ‘smile’.

      1. I would’ve guessed banshee personally, given the amount of people who die when she talks.

    2. STEVE SMITH ONLY RUN ON GREEN PARTY TICKET! STEVE SMITH LOVE BLOOD IN FOREST!

      1. ACTUALLY, STEVE SMITH FORM OWN PARTY, NAME ‘COMPLETELY RUINED JUNK FOR AMERICA.’ MAIN PLANK OF PLATFORM: RAPE.

    3. Couldn’t be any worse than whoever she actually ends up picking.

  2. You fool. This is going to be what she has in her back pocket for when a distraction is needed. Scandal? Here, look at all these Project Blue Book files!

  3. Mars Needs Bitchy Women

    1. I didn’t think even Mars needed women that bad.

  4. Reiterating that if Hilldog is willing to talk about it, or at least say that she’s willing to open the files up, that we can safely conclude there is nothing interesting or noteworthy in them.

    1. Spy planes and weather balloons. Meh.

    2. Yep.

      She’s committed to being transparent when there’s nothing on the other side.

  5. Her interest in something vaguely weird and disreputable is one of the few signs she’s not a pod person.

    She is obviously a pod person, and once she becomes president she will have access to the nuclear launch codes that will help her and her brethren rule earth.

    1. This is a ploy to expose Mr Lizard as a Reason poster.

      1. Mr Lizard exposed himself, constantly, even though I’ve asked him to stop.

        1. He has to do that, you jerk! He’s an ectotherm! If he doesn’t bask in the sun he’ll die.

          1. Yeah, but he doesn’t have to keep putting his dewlap in my face.

            1. It’s weird that you don’t ever tell him to stop while he’s actually doing it though.

              1. *blushes*

                I like the attention, even though it makes me feel like a whore.

            2. That is just a natural lizardly expression of friendly dominance, and as long as his hemipene stays away from your cloaca you’ve got nothing to complain about, you cismammalian dewlap-shamer.

  6. Jesse Walker endorses Hillary Clinton! Harrumph harrumph!

    /retards

    1. I didn’t get a Harrumph for that guy!!

    2. Hey smart guy, why he didn’t he wrote a story about how much Donald Trump loves aliens? Huh?

      I know why, and you know why, and he knows why.

      1. Trump has the ‘best people ‘ working on a shield to keep space aliens from stealing our jobs. They almost have found the secret to building a ZPM,or Zed PM for the Canadian folk here.

  7. I remember back in the ’90s, when Hillary claimed she was the victim of a “vast right-wing conspiracy”. I think that’s what she sounds like when there are no cue cards.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwtkorQKGFE

    Otherwise, I’d suspect talking about aliens was something that had been scripted by a strategy committee–because discrediting her critics as a bunch of conspiracy nuts is one of her go-to strategies.

    What better way for Hillary to discredit her critics than to get them talking about Hillary and UFOs in the same breath as they talk about: Hillary and Whitewater, Hillary and Madison Guaranty, Hillary and Rose Law, Hillary and the Vince Foster suicide, Hillary and her no-risk bets on cattle futures, Hillary and the missing FBI files, Hillary clocking her husband with a lamp, Hillary under fire in Bosnia, Hillary and the email server, or Hillary accepting donations from foreign governments while she was the Secretary of State?

    The other Clinton go-to strategy is openly proclaiming guilt as if it were innocence–but that’s another thread.

    1. Excellent and concise summary of her various and sundry scandals, Mr. Shultz; hope you don’t mind if I copy and paste that section to every comment I make about Hildog, especially to her Hillarians, going forward.

      1. Don’t forget Hillary and the White House Travel Office, Hillary and the rented Lincoln bedroom, Hillary and the stolen White House furnishings…

        Amazingly, I’m sure there’s plenty of others. Anyone else want to chime in?

        1. Hillary and the rifled post-suicide Vince Foster office.

  8. This is it, y’all.

    Jesse’s applying the lube in preparation for Reason rolling out what we knew was inevitable? the Libertarian Case for Hillary.

    1. Jesse has been writing about conspiracy theories as a force in mainstream American culture for years.

      http://www.amazon.com/United-S…..0062135554

      If anybody here is a partisan hack, it’s you, motherfucker.

      1. Well, I’m glad somebody’s taking things literal today.

  9. “you should check out the New York Times piece”

    why? if it’s in the lewinsky press, it’s part of a con or it’s bs filler

  10. It’s easy to mock this, but I’ve decided it’s actually one of the few things I like about Hillary Clinton.

    Of course a Reason writer wrote this.

    If she were being questioned and having earnest political discussions about conversations people had with burning bushes or immaculate conception we’d all agree that she shouldn’t be vying to have a hand on the button.

    But batshit crazy personal belief systems about UFOs and government coverups is endearing, even virtuous, because at least she’s personable and able to talk honestly about *something*.

    1. Of course a Reason writer wrote this

      And we know why a Reason write wrote it, don’t we…

      1. Because that’s what he gets paid to do?

        1. Ugh, you are so daft. He wrote it because he is cocktail signalling to all of his DC pals.

          1. *facepalm*

            It’s so clear now.

      2. Because another Reason writer already scooped his piece on the new Beyonce album?

        1. There you go – at least be creative with your whiny criticism.

      3. Cocktail parties?

    2. she’s personable

      I wouldn’t go that far.

      1. How about “She’s a person“?

        I’m personally keeping ‘space-plant’, ‘mutant lizard’, ‘and timeless spirit-beast who drinks human souls to refresh their mortal form’ on the table as possibilities.

        1. I wouldn’t go that far.

        2. With this new information, I’m fairly confident she is, in fact, an organic life form. Possibly even humanoid in her true form.

      2. Well, she’s likable enough….

    3. “But batshit crazy personal belief systems about UFOs and government coverups is endearing”

      You know he wrote, The United States of Paranoia about the mainstreaming of conspiracy theories, right?

      http://www.amazon.com/United-S…..0062135554

      That he would find it endearing that the most likely person to become President is a UFO conspiracy nut–to the point that she wants to publish and uncover everything the government has on UFOs–is about as surprising as hearing that the President of the NRA likes guns.

      Just because the rest of the world is lining up as Trump hacks and Hillary hacks doesn’t mean Walker has to line up as either one.

      We’re libertarians, damn it. Everything we say and do doesn’t have to be about supporting one candidate or another. That’s for the shitheads in the Republican and Democratic parties to worry about.

      1. Ken, I doubt they were being serious.

      2. We’re libertarians, damn it. Everything we say and do doesn’t have to be about supporting one candidate or another. That’s for the shitheads in the Republican and Democratic parties to worry about.

        My mistake, I should’ve known from the image that I’d stumbled into Reason’s Weekly World News section.

        Would you mind pointing me to the place where we consistently judge the purity of Rand Paul’s libertarianness based on whether we detect a waft of Christianity behind his “I think marriage should be relegated to the states.” stance? It used to be right by where we hoisted Obama by his Jeremiah Wright petard.

      3. And the UFO files should be declassified.

  11. OT:

    Bella Thorne rocks thigh-high designer boots and a tight mini dress before flashing her legs in tiny red shorts to film beach scenes for new movie

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..beach.html

    Youth is wasted on the young.

    1. Prescription strength medication is wasted on the elderly.

    2. Cool! You can “snap into Bella’s style” for under $30!

      1. Is… is that a euphemism?

  12. Hillary’s perennial concern with Aliens is understandable.

    She’s doesn’t want competition.

    Also, I think – a la “Stargate” – she’s big on this idea of attaining immortality by possessing other huma, i mean Human bodies. Science will catch up sooner or later. Pew pew.

    1. My theory: her coughing fits are how she communicates with her comrades in space.

      1. I like it!

        However, IIRC, she attributed them to “too much sex”.

        1. Hm. Webb Hubbell is very virile, so I believe it.

  13. If she is a pod person, this is our chance to find out.

    Obligatory.

  14. I said this yesterday, but how desperate do you have to be to pander to the UFO crowd?

  15. Cute baby picture of Chelsea but, seeing as how she is naked, isn’t this child porn?

    1. unquestionably, by today’s moral standards.

  16. I’m so disappointed that no one else seemed to notice this, but “Hillary and the Extraterrestrials” is an excellent band name

  17. Looking at that photo reminds me what Billy must have seen in her once upon a time. Presumably before her soul was sacrificed upon the alter of power, but who knows? Maybe the aliens do.

    1. You are assuming that she had a soul to begin with?

    2. I don’t recall Hillary ever looking that good, but it’s hard to believe that the photo was faked up since it says Official Photo right on it.

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