FBI Director Says No Deadline on Clinton Probe, Clinton-Trump Tied in New Poll, Sanders Says Nominating Clinton a 'Disaster': P.M. Links

• 

  State

  FBI Director James Comey says there's no externally-imposed deadline into Hillary Clinton's official use of a private e-mail server.

• A new Reuters poll finds Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump virtually tied, at 41 to 40. Bernie Sanders says it would be a "disaster" for Democrats to nominate Clinton for president.
• The South Carolina officer who shot and killed Walter Scott has been indicted on federal charges in relation to the killing.
• Investigators say the fire that led to an explosion in a fertilizer factory in Texas in 2013 was set intentionally.
• Researchers are finding direct evidence that Zika causes birth defects.
• A teenage girl in France livestreamed her suicide on Periscope.

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

FBI Director James Comey says there's no externally-imposed deadline into Hillary Clinton's official use of a private e-mail server.

After her second term is up then?

[Anomalous]

After her inauguration, so she can pardon herself.

[Juvenile Bluster]

Either that or when she pardons herself.

[Juvenile Bluster]

Dammit!

[Playa Manhattan.]

Plot Twist:
She gets locked up the day before inauguration. Solitary, no visitors. Can't get sworn in.

[grrizzly]

Somebody watched too many Brazilian soap operas.

[Ted S.]

She can be locked up with Dilma.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Hello.

[Anomalous]

A.M. Links at 4:30? What's up with that?

[Hyperion]

It's fuck up, that's what's up.

[Doctor Whom]

Your Western-Hemisphere-centrism is not okay.

[Hyperion]

2nd!

[Hyperion]

damn you guys!

[Fist of Etiquette]

You're second in our hearts.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Second is just first place for losers.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Are you calling him a number two?

[Injun, as in from India]

StateStateFBI Director James Comey says there's no externally-imposed deadline into Hillary Clinton's official use of a private e-mail server.

I hope Comey is a man of character, and that Lynch does her duty instead of playing politics.

[Playa Manhattan.]

HA!

[OneOut]

As far as Lynch is concerned playing politics is her duty.

[Hyperion]

Lynch does her duty instead of playing politics

You made a funny!

[Rich]

I also hope Comey is.

Wrt Lynch, just watch her.

[Injun, as in from India]

I don't trust her because she is Obama's pick, and we know what a colossal a****** Eric Holder was.

As citizens, we can only hope.

[Rich]

That's what I meant.

[Tonio]

If we could only, as citizens, unite in our efforts.

[Crusty Juggler]

and that Lynch does her duty instead of playing politics.

Changing her problematic last name?

[Injun, as in from India]

Her last name is triggering.

[Rich]

I don't see how she even keeps it, being a Black Woman and all.

[Anomalous]

Trigger please!

[Chipper Morning Wood]

The word trigger is triggering, because it makes me think of guns. Whenever someone triggers me, I am automatically triggered twice.

And when I say "trigger" makes me think of guns, it's the fact that I would rather be hunting and am not that is upsetting.

[Notorious UGCC]

You're mispronouncing her name, she's a white country music singer.

Or should I say country Sanger.

[Playa Manhattan.]

Comey has integrity.

So he won't get what he wants.

[Demoted Comment (Slammer)]

Mr. Gay Syria

In a brazen and defiant stand against ISIS, who have killed countless gay men by throwing them off the top of buildings in Syria, he is one of five brave men who battled to become the public face of the war-torn country's LGBT community.
Speaking exclusively to MailOnline from Istanbul, where he has sought sanctuary, the newly crowned Mr Gay Syria Hussein Sabat insisted he hates the terror group more than he is scared of them.
'I want to show that Syrian gays are not just bodies thrown off buildings by ISIS; we have dreams and ideas and we want to live our lives.
'Of course we were nervous but we we're excited - we all wanted to be Mr Gay Syria to do something empowering,' he said.
The 24-year-old knows firsthand the pain and terror of Isis - his first boyfriend was beheaded by the terror group and the execution video sent to family and friends.
-

This guy is awesome. And fuck the Daily Mail for making it about leather hotpants.

[Playa Manhattan.]

So, Mr. Gay Turkey.

Probably a good idea for now.

[John]

Talk about balls of steel.

[Hyperion]

No shit.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Much respect.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Investigators say the fire that led to an explosion in a fertilizer factory in Texas in 2013 was set intentionally.

They knew something about it stank - stunk - no, stank.

[The Hyperbole]

Stinked.

[db]

I bet you were up all nitrate coming up with that one.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Who nose.

[BigT]

Quit your ammonia-ing.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Uh oh, call Homeland Security. Someone has nitrate on their auto-complete list.

[db]

Sanders sure oughta know what a disaster looks like.

[Rich]

Comey says there's no externally-imposed deadline into Hillary Clinton's official use of a private e-mail server.

Sheesh, Jim, wrap it up already. You'll get paid even if you're not working on *that*.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Bernie Sanders says it would be a "disaster" for Democrats to nominate Clinton for president.

HO --- LEE---SHIT!

Bernie and I actually agree on something!!

[AlmightyJB]

If she is serious about gun control they'll get slaughtered in two years

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

I wonder if Bernie and I agree on how much of a disaster it would be if the Dems nominate Bernie?

Or if the Reps nominate Trump?

It's disasters all the way down!

[DenverJ]

I can't think of any constitutional mechanism for saying, "Whoa! Do over!"
I think the only way to stop one of these two idiots from winning would be to call a constitutional convention.
Or, Obama could declare martial law.
Or, Hillary dies from whatever is rotting her from the inside, and whatever horrible person is her veep pick becomes pres.
Think we could talk Trump into choosing Rand for veep?

[Mr Drew]

Bless you for that Denver. You made me smile

[simple man]

The third party candidates win enough electoral college votes to prevent Hillary and Trump from reaching the magic number. Then the House elects Rand Paul for president and the Senate elects the VP.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Sounds good, but the House would probably get Boner out of retirement

[Fist of Etiquette]

Bernie Sanders says it would be a "disaster" for Democrats to nominate Clinton for president.

No one necessarily needs a choice of more than one scandal when there are children hungry in this country.

[Demoted Comment (Slammer)]

The South Carolina officer who shot and killed Walter Scott has been indicted on federal charges in relation to the killing.

The Sheriff-Depute of Selkirkshire? Cop on cop violence.

[Injun, as in from India]

Anyone posted this yet?

Trump's candidacy sparks 'surge' in citizenship, voter applications among Latinos

[Injun, as in from India]

WTF. Here's the right link:

Hope it's right this time: Trump's candidacy sparks 'surge' in citizenship, voter applications among Latinos

[Playa Manhattan.]

Getting citizenship is really fast and easy, right?

[Hyperion]

If you've got your green card, getting citizenship is easier than it was to get the green card.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

But there is a time period after getting the green card before you can apply.

[Hyperion]

2 years

[Hyperion]

Well, actually it depends... it might be 3, after getting the conditional green card. Then there is a 2 year wait to get the unconditional 10 year greencard, and then another 1 year, I think. Or something like that. Anyway, once you're eligible, it's easier than getting the green card in the first place and doesn't take as long.

[Isaac Bartram]

Five years unless you are a vet(? years) or the spouse(3 years) of a citizen.

[Hyperion]

I know 2 latins that want to get their citizenship so they can vote FOR Trump. So I'm not sure what to make of it. Trump comes off as a macho guy and latins seem to like that.

[Injun, as in from India]

Weird. One latino guy said his family is all Republican, and that his Mom volunteered for Reagan's campaign in 1984, but they're going to stay home instead of voting for Trump.

Almost my entire extended Indian family detests Trump. They're a mix of conservatives and liberals, so the lefties will vote for Hillary. Don't know what the right-leaners will do.

[EMD]

Don't know what the right-leaners will do.

Vote for Trump.

[Hyperion]

I know more immigrants right now than I do native born Americans, including Indians. You would be shocked how many of them say they will vote for Trump. They're mostly Republicans anyway, so there's that.

[CatoTheChipper]

Hindoos have a long and unfortunate experience with the Musselmen.

[Playa Manhattan.]

"Investigators say the fire that led to an explosion in a fertilizer factory in Texas in 2013 was set intentionally."

Well, there goes the narrative that it was a corporation's fault.

[John]

It was some guy with a confederate flag sticker on his truck set the fire. Narrative saved!!

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

The Kochporashun set it to get the insurance! DUH!

[PBR Streetgang]

I'm sure it is still the Corporation's fault.

1) Set Fire to blow up plant
2) BOOM!!!
3) ....Profit??

[lap83]

+1 every single Captain Planet episode

[Jerry on the rocks]

Ultimate Tech Bro Peter Thiel Will Be a Delegate for Trump.

[Hyperion]

I like Thiel a lot, Trump not so much. But it's still a plus for Trump in my opinion.

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

[Bubba Jones]

http://fivethirtyeight.com/fea.....ut-aliens/

[Bubba Jones]

Hillary wants more transparency...

...about aliens.

[Injun, as in from India]

Satire is dead.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

In preparation of her coming out party.

As a Salt Vampire?

[CE]

Lizard person.

[Playa Manhattan.]

How desperate do you have to be to pander to the UFO crowd?

[Hyperion]

There isn't any crowd that Hillary won't pander to. If she knows about it, she'll pander.

[Heroic Mulatto]

I'm ready for ayy lmao.

[Crusty Juggler]

Related, and the fact the he is constantly on television defending the Democratic Party should embarass them, but for some reason no one give a shit: The long, strange history of John Podesta's space alien obsession

Finally, Area 51 will be exposed!

[Playa Manhattan.]

"A teenage girl in France livestreamed her suicide on Periscope."

Yeah.... I guess nobody told her that you can only do that for attention once.

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

*narrows gaze on behalf of Switzy*

[Jerry on the rocks]

More like Perishcope, am I right?

[Rich]

You're right!

[Demoted Comment (Slammer)]

More like "deathstreamed", right?

[Rich]

Right!

[The Hyperbole]

They must not air Daffy Duck cartoons in france.

[Juvenile Bluster]

Dude...

[Playa Manhattan.]

I would have just let it be, except for the periscope.

[Zeb]

I'm just surprised that doesn't happen more.

[waffles]

It happens quite a bit, just doesn't always get attention. She was pretty too.

[waffles]

It's all so very...French. The American way involves more guns and less smoking.

[grrizzly]

I guess nobody told her that you can only do that for attention once.

The vast majority of suicide attempts by women do not succeed. It's completely different for men. So that was your male privilege speaking.

[MetalBard]

"A new Reuters poll finds Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump virtually tied, at 41 to 40"

Cytotoxic has a sad.

[John]

If Trump were to win, I think he might have some kind of a mental breakdown.

[ant1sthenes]

I wonder if he would move to Canada.

[Rich]

And H? What would she do?

[John]

If Hillary loses the election, she will turn into a political version of Nora Desmond from Sunset Boulevard. It was the politics that got small not her.

[Rich]

It would be interesting if she released all the goods she has on the people who've been barricading her all these years.

[John]

Do it in a pay per view tell all interview. Collect a few more million on her way out the door.

[lulztopian]

drink a TruBlood and reflect on which baby she'll feed from tonight.

[Playa Manhattan.]

"Might have"?

[John]

If Trump wins, I will just post this in response to his posts.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1wXEEQBHeQ

[John]

If Trump were to win, I think he might have some kind of a mental breakdown.

[grrizzly]

He used to be not completely retarded. What happened?

[Demoted Comment (Slammer)]

We were too dumb for him.

[Playa Manhattan.]

I honestly think it was the push back.

He doesn't handle criticism well at all.

[lap83]

Typical retarded comment I've come to expect from the mentally inferior commenters here /goes off to eat the pbj mom made and play Yu Gi Oh

[Playa Manhattan.]

And bench the 70s. Lbs, not Kilos.

[This Machine]

Pfft. I think we'd be generous to say he could bench the bar.

[OneOut]

Is that you Warty ?

[Hyperion]

The real him came out. He's a neocon Hillary supporter on a libertarian blog. He had to crack eventually.

[Pan Zagloba]

Honestly? I think he's just a persona, like PB or Tony. At some point, the contrariness just became more important than consistency of character (I first noticed it when he tried using "one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter" while trolling on behalf of Liberal Party).

[Hyperion]

Are you kidding me? Cytotoxic, a guy who has never got anything right or ever admitted that he got it wrong? He'll just keep on thinking he's the smartest guy in the world. He projects more than any SJW.

[John]

http://heatst.com/culture-wars.....ic-health/

Be sure to check your thin privilege.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

John is posting his porn here, now.

[John]

Hardly. But if it works for you, who am I to judge?

[Demoted Comment (Slammer)]

How big is too big? Some theme park riders fear small seats and 'the walk of shame'

[Hyperion]

Did you know there are people who weigh 600 lbs and more? Have you ever seen that show My 600 pound life? The government should immediately mandate that all businesses make their doors and seats at least 4 feet wide so that these people aren't being discriminated against.

[Rich]

Universal's Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey has bedeviled many big and tall riders who discover at the last moment that their journey aboard the new attraction is indeed forbidden because they don't fit in the "enchanted benches."

1) "Fattus assus!"

2) "'Enchanted benches', my ass!"

[Mickey Rat]

It is not simply fat, Some of those seats don't fit people who are tall.

[waffles]

Some fatty died on Superman: Ride of Steel, at Six Flags in Agawam, MA because his harness couldn't lock correctly. I'm sure the 16 year old ride attendant dutifully pushed against his blubber to close the harness but physics won out in the end. Then the ride was closed for investigation when I actually had the opportunity to ride it! No ride for waffles! No fat apologists welcome, fuck you for dying fatty.

When I worked at an amusement park nothing scared me more than seeing a tub of blubber approaching the station. Then I learned to get mean. Fatties stay off my rollercoasters! Go perish on your own time.

[Rich]

This is the sex house of an ecosexual, a person who makes the land their lover, bringing a whole new meaning to "environmentally friendly" and "whore-ticulture".

Ecosexuals talk dirty to plants, kiss and lick the earth, bury themselves in soil and do nude dances while the environment watches on.

Now, *those* are people who need their own bathroom.

[John]

Can't these weirdos just jerk off the Eastern European porn like normal people?

[Pan Zagloba]

Well, then they wouldn't be "Weirdos" by definition of the word...

[Irish is a Millennial, Poll Me]

Why

[Hyperion]

The progressives have just found their new outrage muse.

[Illocust]

Did you get to the part where it's being funded by taxpayers?

[Illocust]

Did you get to the part where it's being funded by taxpayers?

[Zeb]

Where do you think the term "cornhole" comes from?

[Juice]

Officer, am I free to gambol?

[Good Chipper]

When I said "Fuck the World", I meant "Fuck the World".

[DenverJ]

Winner

[Hyperion]

A new Reuters poll finds Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump virtually tied, at 41 to 40. Bernie Sanders says it would be a "disaster" for Democrats to nominate Clinton for president.

RCP average, Hilldawg is up by about 6 points now. Which is very bad news for her, considering she was up double digits just a couple weeks ago and up around 40 on all GOP candidates at one time. She's toast. I for one do not welcome our new Donald overlord.

[Pat (PM)]

Fentanyl: The new heroin, but deadlier

Sacramento, California (CNN)America's addiction to opioid-based painkillers and heroin just got exponentially more dangerous. The most potent painkiller on the market, prescribed by doctors for cancer treatment, is being made illicitly and sold on the streets, delivering a super high and, far too often, death.

The drug, fentanyl, has been around since the 1960s. Its potency works miracles, soothing extreme pain in cancer patients who are usually prescribed patches or lozenges.

But an illicit version of the drug is flooding into communities across America, and casual users are finding out that their fentanyl pills and powder are delivering a powerful high that is easy to overdose on. It can even kill.

The Drug Enforcement Administration and the Centers for Disease Control say we have another national health crisis on our hands. These are just a handful of the people trying to stop it from taking more lives.

[John]

Its flooding the communities. Its a flood I tell you.

[Irish is a Millennial, Poll Me]

"America's addiction to opioid-based painkillers and heroin just got exponentially more dangerous"

Exponentially more dangerous.

Exponentially.

""He came and told me it was an overdose. I'm like, 'An overdose of what?' It wasn't an overdose. This is murder," Butler said. "I taught my kids two things: God, and don't do drugs.""

I understand you're a grieving mother but I don't think this quite qualifies as murder. This is how the War on Drugs became so fucked up - people equate willingly taking a substance that kills you to homicide.

[Rich]

The Drug Enforcement Administration and the Centers for Disease Control are "just a handful of people"?

[Juvenile Bluster]

And their solution is going to be to make it impossible for actual pain patients to get it. For the childrenz, right?

[Florida Hipster]

Fentanyl can suck my balls. I'm going the sufentanil route when I decide to off myself.

[Playa Manhattan.]

That's the classy route.

Remember: somebody HAS to find your body eventually. Always keep that in mind, because it WILL impact that person.

Or, in the case of the bitch who threw herself under the train, it will impact hundreds of people.

[Florida Hipster]

I'm going to Jesse's. He'll get use of the warm body and my death will make the news.

[Playa Manhattan.]

The question is:
How long can he keep it warm?

[Florida Hipster]

All I know is don't use a warm water bath. Unless you like em prunie.

[Hyperion]

I just saw like 3 zombie children walking down the street covered in fentanyl patches. Fentanyl pushers are on our playgrounds. Did you know fentanyl users turn into giant lizards and eat people's faces off?

[Florida Hipster]

Seriously, I give fentanyl like it is water. Nobody says " oh my god, this is great what is it?" Everybody likes versed and diprivan much better. Where is my scare news about Diprivan? Do we have to kill Michael Jackson again?

[Zeb]

It's only more dangerous if you don't know what you are getting or can't accurately measure a dose. And the only reason it's causing these problems is prohibition.

[Pat (PM)]

Obesity May Not Take Years Off Your Life: Study

HealthDay ReporterTUESDAY, May 10, 2016 (HealthDay News) -- Obesity may not cut your life short after all, a new study suggests.

Danish researchers report that the risk that an obese man or woman will die prematurely has dropped dramatically over the last 40 years.

How dramatically? According to their analysis, the 30 percent greater risk of dying early from any cause found back in the 1970s has virtually disappeared.

Translation: The researchers said that the risk of dying early for any reason is now the same among obese individuals as it is among normal-weight individuals.

Not only that, but having a body mass index (BMI) of 27, which is considered overweight, was linked to having the lowest risk of death from all causes, the study authors said.

[Anomalous]

I'm going to celebrate this with ice cream.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

I'm gonna go right ahead and assume no one knows what the fuck they're talking about anymore.

[The Last American Hero]

Well, it helps when you define obesity down to include people who work out on a regular basis.

[Zeb]

Yeah, when you base it all on BMI, it really muddies things up.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

This^^

Before I retired from military, my BMI was 27, but my body-fat was like 12%.

My BMI is a little higher now.

My body fat is a LOT higher.

[CE]

This data came out a few years ago. People who are moderately "overweight" live longer. When you get sick, it's good to have a reserve. Thin people go fast when they go.

[Crusty Juggler]

Treating Pain Without Feeding Addiction at 'Ground Zero' for Opioids

Since then, more than 3,000 of Community Care's 35,000 patients have seen the anesthesiologist, Dr. Denzil Hawkinberry, for pain management, while continuing to see their primary care providers for other health problems. Dr. Chouinard said Community Care was doing a better job of keeping them well over all, while letting Dr. Hawkinberry make all the decisions about who should be on opioid painkillers ? a role that requires not only expertise, but endless vigilance.

"I'm part F.B.I. investigator, part C.I.A. interrogator, part drill sergeant, part cheerleader," said Dr. Hawkinberry, who is also an amateur mountain climber.

Evidence that the musician Prince had become dependent on pain pills he took for hip problems before his recent death suggests just how hard it can be, even for people with access to the best doctors, to safely control chronic pain. Community Care is trying to do so for a disproportionately poor population, in a state that has been ground zero for opioid abuse from the very beginning of what has become a national epidemic.

[John]

It sucks to be an addict. I totally understand how being an addict is better than living with horrible pain. But it would be a very good thing if they figured out a way to get rid of the pain without having to become an addict

[lulztopian]

people really aren't as 'addicted' as everyone is making it out to be.

[John]

And even if they are, so what? If it is the only alternative to debilitating pain, what choice do you have?

[lulztopian]

yeah, that too. and it's way better than alcohol, which is what a lot of people turn to when they cannot get the drugs.

[John]

alcohol will kill you before the opiods ever do.

[Florida Hipster]

NSAIDS. Muscle relaxants. Canaboids. Heat. Cold. Physical therapy. Hypnosis.

[John]

I thought for a second that was in response to the "what will Hillary do if she loses" post.

[lulztopian]

Those are all fine as Level 1 mitigation strategies, but they dull pain. Opiates eliminate it, or at least get it to where you feel normal again. Am I supposed to be high and wrapped in heating pads while I deal with my clients or the courts? Yeah no.

[HeteroPatriarch]

Cause ulcers, more addictive and more dangerous than opiates for mixed results, not nearly as strong, not nearly as effective, not nearly as effective, extremely expensive and with limited effectiveness, and bullshit. That cover your whole.list?

[Hyperion]

They will eventually. But in the meantime, the pants shitting is just too much fun.

[db]

A teenage girl in France livestreamed her suicide on Periscope.

Was it really painless?

Seriously I hate to joke about this kind of thing--i think suicide of the young is a tragedy. But maybe if we make fun of it enough kids'll stop doing it. "Wait, they're going to keep mocking me even *after* death? Crap."

[Playa Manhattan.]

I think it would be very effective to point out how selfish it is too.

If you don't want to live, fine. If you really mean it, I'm not going to stop you.

But don't throw yourself under a fucking train where hundreds of people are just trying to go about their lives. They're gonna have to live with what they saw.

[db]

Interestingly, none of the other relatives ever voiced anger or distress at the uncle's suicide being "selfish." In fact I was chastised for suggesting it.

[Playa Manhattan.]

There's a non selfish way to go about it.

[db]

Indeed, but in this particular case that path was not chosen.

[Illocust]

There are some situations were suicide isn't selfish. I had a great great uncle who was going to die within a month or two and had been bedridden for years. He committed suicide so he wouldn't die over Christmas and overshadow the holiday for his sister. He was in his eighties, though. Most suicides are ridiculous and selfish.

[Notorious UGCC]

Did she have some kind of cancer, or was she just suffering from angst?

[Zeb]

People who kill themselves are selfish assholes.

[Good Chipper]

Most of them have spent years in misery and pain because they didn't want to cause misery and pain for others.

But yes, it's totally selfish to give up after years of hopelessness and pain, because people not dealing with the same problems might have to deal with your death.

SOOOO selfish.

[DenverJ]

My wife more or less chose to die. She didn't actually kill herself, but she wouldn't get the operation that would have saved her. And I understand why she made her decision, I really do. But I still have a lot of anger that I'm dealing with, and a lot of it is anger at her. But, like you said, I wasn't the one in pain.

[Greater Questions of Carl]

At phase 23104012 of Oracle v. Google:

[Former Sun CEO Jonathan] Schwartz explains GNU stands for. "GNU is not Unix."
[Judge] Alsup: The G part stands for GNU?
Schwartz: Yes.
Alsup: That doesn't many any sense

[db]

Is the judge denying recurse?

[Rich]

Really. It *should* be "GINU is not Unix."

[Pat (PM)]

Technically it's GNU's Not Unix - the recursive part is a contraction.

[Rich]

You'd think they'd be technical at fucking *Oracle v. Google*.

[Col. Chestbridge]

It's "GNU's Not Unix"

[Col. Chestbridge]

Damn, should have refreshed

[Pat (PM)]

Lame Ain't an MP3 Encoder
Jack Audio Connection Kit
Linux Is Not Unix
Hurd of Unix Replacing Daemons
Curl URL Request Library
PHP Hypertext Preprocessor
Wine Is Not an Emulator
Pine Is Nearly Elm

The judge's head would explode if he were a linux dev.

[Timon 19]

I'm pretty sure your Linux one is a backronym. Might be a couple others, too.

But recursion is one place where us geeks can really, truly fuck with the normies.

[Pat (PM)]

I'm pretty sure your Linux one is a backronym.

It is. PHP was originally "personal home page", but was officially backronymed. The rest are as god made them, I think.

[robc]

Yes. PHP was originally Pretty Home Page, or something like that. Maybe Personal.

Pine is not elm.

Nearly? No.

[Pat (PM)]

Eh, looks like we're both wrong, actually:

Many people believe that Pine stands for "Pine Is Not Elm". One of its original authors, Laurence Lundblade, insists this was never the case and that it started off simply as a word and not an acronym, and that his first choice of a backronym for pine would be "Pine Is Nearly Elm".

[Heroic Mulatto]

Hey, Carl! Have you ever heard the recursive iterative punchline joke?

[Emmerson Biggins]

That's awesome.

[DEG]

More TSA bitching

Warning: Auto-play video

Get ready, America, for a summer full of long security lines at major airports, missed flight connections and millions of grumpy passengers.
That's the warning from authorities at the nation's most congested and busiest airports and the Transportation Security Administration.

Airports are starting to take matters into their own hands.
In an unusual, strongly worded letter to the TSA, the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey -- which oversees the New York City area's three major airports -- has essentially threatened to fire the TSA by privatizing their passenger screening process.
Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson airport -- which handled more than 100 million travelers last year -- sent a similar letter to the TSA threatening to privatize passenger security lines.
That airport is partnering with Delta Air Lines and the TSA to figure out a better passenger screening procedure.

[db]

This is why I got my pilot's license.

[Ted S.]

Fire the lot of them, and take away their pensions, too.

[The Last American Hero]

Seattle is kicking it around as well. The number of travelers has really picked up in recent years and TSA hasn't maintained nearly enough staff for their security theater.

[paranoid android]

Not enough staff? Every time I go through one of the checkpoints at SeaTac there's clearly 6-10 people just standing around doing nothing at all.

[DEG]

clearly 6-10 people just standing around doing nothing at all.

That's the part of the theater that they need more people for.

[DenverJ]

Yeah. Government employees have usually never had a real job, and don't have any ingrained sense of efficiency. I imagine a TSA staffed with 40 year old's who had worked in the private sector would be a bit more efficient.
A bunch of transplanted-from-other-agency admin with a staff of newly hired teenagers/20 something's is going to be... well, the TSA

[Greater Questions of Carl]

HOW COULD ANYTHING GO WRONG?

The glowing lack of public, real-world Stagefright exploits didn't stop the U.S. government from using last summer's blockbuster Android vulnerability as an illustration of the dangers facing mobile device users.

Under the context of Stagefright exposing up to 1 billion devices to attack, the Federal Trade Commission and the Federal Communications Commission yesterday said they are collaborating on an investigation into the security update practices of the leading carriers.

The two agencies sent letters to leading device makers and carriers, including AT&T, Verizon, T-Mobile, Sprint, US Cellular, and Tracfone, as well as Apple, Google, Samsung, BlackBerry, HTC America, and Microsoft. The letters give the respective vendors 45 days to report on how they communicate information about vulnerabilities, develop and test security updates and deploy them to devices.

And fuck all the nerds popping boners over this. MARKET FAILURE!!!

[Injun, as in from India]

Here's the BIG thing from Comey's media session today:

FBI Director Disputes Hillary's Claim That Email Probe Is Just A 'Security Inquiry'

omey said that the term "security inquiry" does not register with him and that agents are conducting an "investigation."

"It's in our name. I'm not familiar with the term 'security inquiry,'" Comey said, according to Politico's Josh Gerstein.

[Hyperion]

What, Hillary's lying again? I can't believe it.

[The Last American Hero]

The notion that the FBI just "reaches out" to somebody is insane. Even when screening friends and family of prospective agents, they don't just "reach out".

BEEP. "Hey, yeah, Bill? This is special agent Sims of the FBRO. We wanted to chat about an acquaintance of yours, Mr. Last Hero, you know, if you are around some time. If not, no prob. Just thought I'd reach out and see if you are interested. Call back if you get a chance, if not hakuna matata. Later." BEEP.

That's not how any of this works.

[Crusty Juggler]

My Father, Woody Allen, and the Danger of Questions Unasked (Guest Column by Ronan Farrow

This was always true as a brother who trusted her, and, even at 5 years old, was troubled by our father's strange behavior around her: climbing into her bed in the middle of the night, forcing her to suck his thumb ? behavior that had prompted him to enter into therapy focused on his inappropriate conduct with children prior to the allegations.

Whaaaaaaa?

[John]

At what point do we finally stop caring about this trailer park saga? Yeah, your dad is a pervert. Everyone knows that. Stop trying to get undeserved attention by pointing it out.

[Crusty Juggler]

This was in response to an interview about Woody Allen that was published last week (his new movie is at Cannes!) where he was not asked about the sexual allegations.

[Illocust]

So someone did an interview for a movie and didn't bring up a twenty year old charge that wasn't in the news and had nothing occur recently to make it newsworthy? I would have been weirded out if they had chosen to bring it up.

[Irish is a Millennial, Poll Me]

Well, the media hypocrisy is astonishing. I saw a Woody Allen documentary the other day and they don't even mention the fact that he's probably a child molester.

[John]

Roman Polanski is a child molester. There is no probably to it. He drugged and ass fucked a 13 year old girl. And they still love him. More than they do Allen.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

THAT'S BECAUSE IT WASN'T RAPE-RAPE.

[Crusty Juggler]

True, giving quaaludes to a 13-year-old and then sodomizing her is not rape.

[Pat (PM)]

If child molestation in Hollywood is as common as has been alleged, then it's probably just assumed without asking.

[Illocust]

Can't tell if serious, but do you realize that the only accusation ever made against him was made during a nasty divorce. He's accused of touching his seven year old daughter's vagina once (not even ongoing abuse) during one of the few visitations he was allowed while Mia and him were breaking up because he had an affair with Mia's adopted adult daughter (note the adult part, attraction to 18 year olds has nothing to do with attraction to pre-pubescent children). Mia purposefully did not take the case to trial, saying it would be too hard on her daughter. She did use the accusation to get a friendly judge to revoke all visitations rights for Allen.

This case was dead in the water when it happened. Unless someone new pops up with an accusation there is really no reason to bring it up anymore.

[John]

Here is the thing with that case, Farrow was never willing to take the girl to the police and put the whole thing under oath. Maybe it happened and she decided it wasn't worth the pain of prosecuting. If that is the case, that is her right. But she has no right to then slander Allen by bringing it up forever. She should have either gone to the police or never said a word.

[Crusty Juggler]

Unless someone new pops up with an accusation there is really no reason to bring it up anymore.

Yes, the brother of the girl he was accused of molesting should keep his mouth shut and should go to great lengths to hide his opinions.

[Illocust]

How is an interview by someone with no relation to the girl the same as the brother hiding his opinions? We know why he's yelling, we even know why he gets published despite the lack or relevance (it's great click bait), but there isn't really a good reason for anyone else to care. Reporters not bringing it up are doing their job by focusing on the newsworthy material.

[Crusty Juggler]

The Hollywood Reporter published a cover story/interview about Woody Allen and his life. His son wrote a story in response. In the son's story he includes some nasty details about Woody Allen, including the bit about having his seven-year-old daughter suck his thumb after climbing in to bed with her, which is why I shared the link.

[Irish is a Millennial, Poll Me]

There are a lot of people who were friends of the family who said he often behaved inappropriately towards the children.

[Illocust]

Friends of the family or friends of the mother? Not to put too fine a point on it, but satanic daycare panic. Once you've planted an idea, people can very easily reinvent their memories to match it. Even adults can highlight and twist things to make them more closely match how they want to remember.

[Playa Manhattan.]

Read the Vanity Fair article.

Woody Allen is a child molester; he's just not very good at it.

[lafe.long]

Hyperloop One: Company to Perform Propulsion Open-Air Test at Site Northeast of Las Vegas

The company, formerly known as Hyperloop Technologies, is set for a demo of its high-speed tube-based transport system on Wednesday. The propulsion mechanism is the project's first phase.

[Pat (PM)]

I'm psyched for this. Once they get it built, probably with a huge subsidy, we can cut the long, arduous 4 hour drive from Las Vegas to the middle of fucking nowhere somewhere within 100 miles of LA in half the time!

[Hyperion]

Yeah. Like I've always said, when you can get me from Sao Paulo to Tokyo in an hour, let's talk.

[HeteroPatriarch]

The world does not revolve around your strangely dichotomous taste in hookers, Hyperion.

[The Last American Hero]

What are the chances that this thing winds up being nothing more than an amusement park ride at a Vegas Casino?

[GILMORE?]

A teenage girl in France livestreamed her suicide on Periscope.

The first comment on it was "Fake", the next was a bot promoting how much their sister makes working from home with this one cool trick, and the rest suggested this was some typical SJW shit and thumbs-downed it.

[Demoted Comment (Slammer)]

So, Wednesday on the intertubes.

[GILMORE?]

FBI Director James Comey says there's no externally-imposed deadline into Hillary Clinton's official use of a private e-mail server.

Glad to see Comey taking cues from the Existential Detective Agency. Hopefully he'll be able to tie the whole investigation together when he goes under the blanket of truth.

[John]

http://ace.mu.nu/archives/363391.php

Hillary's son in law's hedge fund closes with 90% loses. His plan was to buy Greek bonds.

[The Last American Hero]

But But But, I thought evuulll hedge fund managers were all Republikkkans.

[Illocust]

Don't worry, with his in-laws all he has to do is keep the wife happy and he'll get a bail out. If he's really nice to them they might even get him a job in the white house.

[GILMORE?]

Really?

Christ i'd love to see some of their marketing materials. Their thesis, especially. I bet some of it can be found online.

[GILMORE?]

I can't find shit. Just form D's which suggest that they're exempt from registration.

[Illocust]

I wish someone would give websites like these a make over. They scream unprofessional and untrustworthy how they are currently set up.

[__Warren__]

How do we know the money was actually invested?

What if this was a Springtime for Hitler type ploy where they raised money knowing that their selected investment vehicle was going to fail?

That way they divert 90% of the cash to themselves and leave their customers with pennies on the dollar.

[GILMORE?]

Keep in mind that some funds exist to create tax-write-offs. Given that this guy's entire sales pitch is "I'm a Clinton" i doubt the people throwing money at him were worried about making a profit.

[GILMORE?]

A new Reuters poll finds Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump virtually tied, at 41 to 40.

Yes, but you see Cytotoxic saw polls 2 months ago which were more important.

[Hyperion]

He's going to be inventing his own polls, which only he can see, before too long.

[Greater Questions of Carl]

The Rise of the Costanza Defense

A farcical energy deal has given rise to a new takeover tactic. Call it the George Costanza defense. Like the character from the "Seinfeld" sitcom, Energy Transfer Equity wants to redefine the terms of a soured relationship: its $21 billion takeover of rival pipeline operator the Williams Companies. Energy Transfer, based in Dallas, aims to pay less cash and seems intent on forcing the issue by making itself as unattractive as possible. The stakes are no laughing matter, though.

Unfortunately for Mr. Allison, apparently Costanza defense is already taken: The 'George Costanza Defense' to Stealing Trade Secrets

She apparently did not know that it was improper to plant hidden recording devices in meeting rooms and leave them there to record meetings she did not attend.

I call this the "George Costanza defense" to trade-secret theft. If you are a Seinfeld fan, you might recall the episode when George was caught having sex with a cleaning woman on his desk. When confronted by his boss, he replied, "Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing is frowned upon."

[Pat (PM)]

+1 Human Fund

[Hyperion]

It's about nothing.

[Crusty Juggler]

They are ensconced in velvet?

[lafe.long]

Vandelay!!

[Greater Questions of Carl]

And you want to be my latex salesman...

[Palin's Buttplug]

Aetna looking to expand ACA marketplace offerings amid strong growth in sign-ups.

http://www.wsj.com/articles/ae.....1462994266

DEATH SPIRAL! BLOOP! DERP!

[lulztopian]

didn't UHC drop out? And didn't BCBS report record losses again?

Aetna is trying to take the poisoned bait those two left behind. I'll make you another bet: Aetna posts losses on those accounts in two years.

[Palin's Buttplug]

UHC is out. Anthem BCBS is growing the ACA business:

The No. 2 U.S. health insurer said it had 975,000 exchange enrollees at the end of the first quarter, up by around 184,000 since the end of the year. The increase drew sharp questions from analysts after UnitedHealth Group Inc.'s recent announcement that it would withdraw from all but a handful of the exchanges after steepening losses.

http://www.wsj.com/articles/an.....1461754635

[lulztopian]

so yes and yes.

thanks.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Yes and no.

Anthem has said it roughly broke even in 2015 on individual plans?putting it ahead of many insurers that, like UnitedHealth, saw losses on the exchanges.

[kbolino]

roughly broke even

Stunning success!

[Juvenile Bluster]

Aetna Chief Executive Mark T. Bertolini told analysts during the earnings call that Aetna still saw its position in the ACA marketplaces as a "good investment." But he also made pointed comments about the need for changes to the law to ensure a sustainable business.

Yep, that's a real endorsement right there.

[Pat (PM)]

Losing money on every policy, but making it up in volume. Or at least they will be if they can lobby a taxpayer bailout better than the other large insurers.

[Hyperion]

IOW, Shreek is an avid supporter of cronyism on a massive scale and the consumer being the ultimate loser. Don't you have some cankles that need licked?

[Palin's Buttplug]

Why do you hate marketplaces?

[Hyperion]

I like marketplaces that the government are not fucking around in, dipshit.

[Pat (PM)]

marketplaces that the government are not fucking around in

So, marketplaces.

[tarran]

It's not sentient.... all you are doing is training its insectlike brain to post more of the same comments that irritate you.

[waffles]

So...short AET?

[GILMORE?]

OK I don't even know WTF this is but I think we should start doing it in the US

[Heroic Mulatto]

The poster of Trump with his forehead "dot"-ified is worth the price of admission alone.

[GILMORE?]

I think there should be a group of Hindus at Trump events worshiping him like a living deity just to confuse the fuck out of people

[Heroic Mulatto]

Well, they are Aryans.

[GILMORE?]

Like that wouldn't confuse the shit out of BOTH the KKK and @##*&! BLM

[Pan Zagloba]

Dalmia hardest hit?

[Hyperion]

+1 intertoobz prize

[Hyperion]

Most Indian Hindus are not too fond of Islam, to say the least. This is not too surprising.

[GILMORE?]

"Not Too Surprising"?

"Cult of Personality" IS JUST AN EXPRESSION!! NOT A REAL THING

[John]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs.....ciety.html

Naomi Watts is 47. Damn.

[Pat (PM)]

Technically old enough to be my mom. No more Mulholland Drive for me.

[Juvenile Bluster]

I'll be in my bunk.

[lafe.long]

Gwyneth Paltrow: Article on Actress's Lifestyle Website, Goop, Recommends $15,000 Sex Toy

The article, titled "Not-So-Basic Sex Toys," listed the 24-karat gold sex toy Lelo "Inez," along with other recommendations in the roundup, including a whip for $535 and a feather duster for $69.

[Pat (PM)]

She didn't realize how much it cost - she borrowed hers from Chris Martin.

[John]

That is funny.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

What's the fascination with her?

She's soooo fucking meh.

[Palin's Buttplug]

Artist organizing mass photo shoot of 100 nude women during Cleveland Republican National Convention

http://www.cleveland.com/rnc-2.....oto_s.html

[DEG]

Did you pay your bet?

[Hyperion]

He was going to, but Hillary wouldn't let him stop licking the cankles long enough.

[Hyperion]

I seriously doubt anyone would want to see any of these volunteers fully clothed, let alone nude.

[BigT]

"Will it feature Monica Lewinsky, Jennifer Flowers, Kathleen Willey, or Juanita Broderick?"

[Karinka]

Are you single tonight? A lot of beautiful girls waiting for you to http://goo.gl/pI9ucn
The best adult dating site!

[Demoted Comment (Slammer)]

This is becoming annoying

[GILMORE?]

TRUMPAPALOOZERS = "Any Pro-Trump-Concert Would Be Full of Shitty Acts Like Kid Rock and Wayne Newton"

shorter = "cool kids vote Dem, because Katy Perry and... uh.... some rapper probably"

[Notorious UGCC]

Wait, Trump's own Attorney General supports Trump?

/Loretta Lynn joke

[Notorious UGCC]

Darn, *Obama's* own Attorney General

[Notorious UGCC]

It's not surprising that Loretta Lynn would support a social liberal like Trump.

"But, if that isn't quite enough to sell you on Loretta Lynn, Feminist Icon, did you know she wrote a hit (and censored) song about birth control? It's true!

""The Pill" is considered the first major song to mention oral contraceptives, and in a 1975 interview with Playgirl (yeah, I guess she did an interview with Playgirl) Lynn says she was congratulated after the song's success by a number rural physicians who told her that "The Pill" did a great deal to highlight the availability of birth control in isolated, rural areas."

[Palin's Buttplug]

You wouldn't?

http://www.thehollywoodgossip......llot-ever/

She makes even Obama look good.

[Vernon Depner]

The results of a Trump v. Bernie race would be similar to Bush v. Dukakis?Bernie would win a few northern states and Trump would run the rest of the table.

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[KieraArcher]

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[PBR Streetgang]

I'm sure at least on mind was op... no, no. Too soon.

[db]

Did she actually shoot herself? Or was it a lesser method?

[PBR Streetgang]

Guns don't exits in France, come on be serious.

[Playa Manhattan.]

Trainicide.

[Rich]

Claire hits the beach in a bikini

NOOOOOOOOO!!

[John]

I am so tired of Lesbians rejecting me.

[Irish is a Millennial, Poll Me]

Some dudes are into that.

Don't judge.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Judging by the prevalence of futanari on the Internet, I'm going to call bullshit.

[Greater Questions of Carl]

...for 'having male parts

What, like these?

[Hyperion]

Oh wow, I am shocked. Straight guys mind if the vagina they fantasizing about getting into, turns out to be a dick?

[Playa Manhattan.]

Get used to it.

[Illocust]

That article is sad. If you read down, she's under the impression that getting bottom surgery will suddenly make the boys call her back. She's in for a lot of heartbreak when she finds out that that will essentially make no difference.

[The Last American Hero]

+1 Funky Cold Medina

[Playa Manhattan.]

I think she was protesting people getting to work on time.

[db]

A relative recorded the runup to his suicide on audiotape. You never want to know what's going through the mind of a person that deranged and despairing.

[lulztopian]

work? in France?

[Crusty Juggler]

Judging by the prevalence of futanari on the Internet

I googled imaged that everyone, and it is totally safe to do at work.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Or even perhaps "They were totally interested until they found out she wasn't fully honest about having a dick!" Even if you're into something, no one likes a liar.

[Irish is a Millennial, Poll Me]

Yeah, you can't lie about it. Some guys are totally cool with trannies though. There wouldn't be so much porn of them if that wasn't the case.

Or so I've been told.

[lap83]

maybe she subscribes to the George Costanza school of thought "Its not a lie if you believe it"

[GILMORE?]

Claire hits the beach for guys

"What kind of guys are you into?" the beach boys ask, as Claire replies about her ideal type, revealing "I like the guys who are really funny."

As the bikini-wearers find out the intentions of the boys, asking of they're "cute", the keen boys instantly reply with comments like "most definitely" and "gorgeous".

One boy even asks: "We should hook up sometimes."

Yeah, its so cute and innocent and HOLY SHIT WHAT YOU HAVE A DICK?!

She says: "In a lot of ways, I don't like telling a guy. Once I tell him all respect goes out of the window.

"Straight guys just can't get over you having the male parts.

"Once I've had or get the surgery, I think it will change a lot for me because right now if I meet a straight guy and he doesn't know - we can't get physical if I don't tell him.

"And then if he finds out, things just get so complicated, I can't even begin to explain."

Yeah, that's something you might want to work on.

Or! Just keep blaming everyone else's surprise and shock as "the problem"

[Crusty Juggler]

Maybe more like this?

[Rich]

It's a trap!

[Heroic Mulatto]

That having been said, I doubt very many teenage guys would be cool with openly dating one.

[Juvenile Bluster]

Not sure if double meaning was meant here...

[Greater Questions of Carl]

It's not a dick, she's just an outie.

[Drake]

Killed by a cross-dresser?

[Irish is a Millennial, Poll Me]

There are entire websites designed for nothing but people who want to date transsexuals. It isn't that hard in 2016 to find some way to get it on when you're trans.

Or so I've been told.

[Illocust]

Oh that is true. It's also really helpful to date in the queer side of town. I'm just saying that she's looking at the bottom surgery as if that will solve all her problems, and I really doubt it will. She needs to change her approach not herself if she wants to find someone.

[Zeb]

I don't mess around with no Oscar Meyer weiner.

[Playa Manhattan.]

I know I wouldn't be, then or now.

It's not a judgment on other people's choices; I'm just not fucking interested. No amount of social pressure or shaming is going to change that.

[Playa Manhattan.]

Whoever is pulling the strings is doing this person a huge disservice.

You know who isn't attracted to women who used to be men? MOST MEN.

It's something that definitely should have come up in counseling before the transition. If it didn't, that person should probably sue the therapist.

[DenverJ]

Yeah me neither. What was the book, "the (x) year war", or something, where the separated lovers lived through an era where homosexuality was the norm, then it changed back and thru found each other again?
SciFi, sent to different ships or something, spent thousands of years in deep sleep,

[DenverJ]

The Forever War

[HeteroPatriarch]

The bottom surgery would have to help. Open up a wider field of interest. Maybe not have to hit on the methhead in the bug-eye sunglasses pictures in the article