A.M. Links: Trump vs. Clinton, Massive Wildfire Spreads in Canada, California Raises Smoking Age to 21

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  • Credit: Todd Kranin

    Donald Trump vs. Hillary Clinton: "Just how ugly will the general election be?"

  • More than 88,000 people have been evacuated as a massive wildfire spreads in the Canadian city of Fort McMurray in the province of Alberta.
  • "Russian officials said Wednesday that Moscow will create three new divisions of about 10,000 soldiers each to counter NATO's planned troop buildup in Eastern Europe."

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  1. Donald Trump vs. Hillary Clinton: “Just how ugly will the general election be?”

    Time to bring out that ReasonTV video.

    1. Hello.

      I know there are some Caps fans here but…

      They can’t even beat Pittsburgh’s inexperienced defense and goaltending MASH unit? Fricken Trevor Daley is leading the defense for crying out loud!

      Ouch.

      1. They’re the Caps. If there’s anything sure in the universe, it’s death, taxes, and the Caps having a great regular season and then choking in the playoffs.

      2. It’s so bad. I really don’t know who to fucking blame. Pittsburgh is getting some good bounces, but are defense has sucked getting back on their breakaways. Williams has been so terrible that I think he may be injured. Nobody on the caps has the balls to sit in front of the goalie for extended period of time to fight for a rebound. It’s just fucking terrible.

        1. I pine and yearn for the day the NHL removes the instigator rule. The hackery against Crosby is retarded.

          Once upon a time the enforcer would go in and settle accounts and things moved on. Instead, we get a slow propulsion of constant cowardly acts of ratness.

          Half those guys need a solid beating and see how fast they stop.

          1. Crosby and Letang are the single most hateable entities in the sport, they bitch and dive more than any other players I have ever seen. It’s despicable.

            1. Meh. Crosby does get assaulted. Reminds me in the early 1990s when the NHL basically became a garage league in the clutch, grab and slash era. The biggest recipient of all that was the one and only Mario Lemieux. People said the same about him. That he was a diver and baby. Problem is, he was right. What was done to him was insane – there were times he would be on a break away and players literally would be pulling his jersey back with no call.

              It was a joke. Lemieux is arguable the most gifted player in history and we were being deprived of it because of hackers. Same with Crosby. He’s not thriving under this nonsense.

              1. I’d like the NHL to go to international size rinks – would probably alleviate some of that.

                1. I’d like the NHL to go to international size rinks – would probably alleviate some of that.

                  You got 3 on 3 wide open ice overtime hockey during the regular season. You’re lucky the league gave you that so shut up and take it.

                  1. You got 3 on 3 wide open ice overtime hockey during the regular season. You’re lucky the league gave you that so shut up and take it.

                    That’s just the NHL admitting the smaller rinks in North America are inferior to the larger international size rinks. They should just bite the bullet and have all NHL rinks go to the larger rink by 2020.

                    1. Playing on the international sized rinks is a real shock to the system. I don’t know how the NHL players do it for worlds and olympics.

                2. Proponents of big ice always point to how great the hockey is at the Olympics. No kidding. The best of the best are competing.

                  But watch it in its natural state in European leagues. It’s almost unwatchable.

                  Maybe it would alleviate hitting but I’m not convinced.

                  1. But watch it in its natural state in European leagues. It’s almost unwatchable.

                    Well, the regular season NHL is borderline unwatchable so it’s a wash?

                    1. True enough!

                3. I do not think there are many arenas that can handle an international size rink.

                  1. I do not think there are many arenas that can handle an international size rink.

                    It’ll never happen but I’m sure they can figure out a way to get it done, if they wanted to.

                    The NHL could also just shrink the league to 24 teams so the talent pool is less diluted.

              2. As I recall the league wanted Lemieux to be its face but he politely declined because of what the league had become. For some reason owners think they’ll grow their fan base with low scoring ugly play.

                I have to assume all the leagues stars play with hacks crawling all over their asses but I admit I haven’t heard any complaining. (But then I never actually heard with my own ears Crosby complaining.)

            2. If you’re not working the refs, you’re not competing.

        2. *our. And as a PS poeple keep referring to the Caps and Pens to be a rivalry, but imho a rivalry is two teams that are neck and neck sometimes you win sometimes they do. The Caps never win they are something like 1-8 against them in the playoffs.

      3. For some reason the Pens were considered the severe underdogs despite their record since the new year and their record for being injury-prone but with a deep bench. One could argue that Pittsburgh had been playing playoff hockey before the regular season ended.

        Having said all that, the Caps can bounce back. They had one dominant game in the series (with nothing to show for it) and could come back if they poured it on in a sustained way. Their size alone isn’t getting it done. They just can’t rely on Oshie and Holtby.

        1. Oshie is one the only bright spots in the entire series for the Caps, that guy comes to play every night.

          1. Oshie has indeed stepped up his game.

            Holtby has been so-so.

        2. True. But I can see why they were tagged as underdogs given the injuries to the goalies forcing them to use a 4th stringer!

      4. I have no rooting interest in this series, but I do get a perverse pleasure of watching the Caps get highly touted year after year only to leave their fans with a big old set of blue balls one more time.

        1. you’re a monster.

        2. you’re a monster.

  2. Donald Trump vs. Hillary Clinton: “Just how ugly will the general election be?”

    Oh my god, SO ugly.

    1. So ugly, even Crusty wouldn’t, unless he’d been drinking or was bored.

      1. My taste in women improves after I’ve been drinking.

        1. +1 thick pair of beer goggles

          1. Cinco de Mayo. Tequila goggles.

        2. Don’t drink that.

      1. OH MY GOD

      2. Nailed it.

      3. Well, I know what I’m going to be having nightmares about tonight.

      4. That’s not disturbing at all.

        *frantically searches for old security blanket*

      5. The internet is a scary place.

  3. Man, remember when “Vice” magazine was anarchic and libertarian? Check out this mess:

    http://www.vice.com/read/gun-r…..eyre-wrong

    Best response to someone who says your gun doesn’t make you safer and is more likely to be used against you?

    “Okay, come take it away from me and use it against me.”

    Liberals really believe women are helpless idiots, don’t they?

    1. They’ve been teaching them to give trigger warnings.

    2. Best response I’ve found is to let them talk. While they’re proselytizing, stand just a little too close and watch them intently. Periodically say, “You know I never go anywhere without a knife, right?”

      Lulz, y’all.

    3. Shocker how the Vice writers castigate gun advocates for referring to the inflated results from the Kleck study for defensive gun uses (2.5 million)– and then cite the super low-ball numbers from the Gun Violence Archive (1,291) and compares it to gun deaths and injuries without removing suicides. They could have gone with the middle ground defensive gun use stats from the CDC, which I believe was 300,000-500,000 estimated DGUs.

      1. Yeah, no agenda at all with those “journalists” at Vice just dripping with objectivity and integrity…

    4. My response is ” I don’t care. Amend the Constitution if you hate the 2nd that bad.”

      1. “Do my hands look cold and dead yet?”

        1. Vice has pretty much gone completely over to the SJW crowd once they booted Gavin.

          1. How can it be socially just to remove an effective means of personal defense from people?

  4. Former Republican presidents George H.W. Bush and George W. Bush have no plans to endorse Donald Trump in the 2016 election.

    Too busy enjoying their new found “they weren’t so bad” celebrity status.

    1. ….and adding 3% to Trump’s vote total.

      1. I really had hoped Boehner’s little tirade would bump up Cruz’s numbers.

  5. 7-Year-Old Writes Excuse Note, Goes Home From School:

    A Texas dad says he wasted no time in transferring his daughter to a new school after the 7-year-old reportedly managed to get herself dismissed from school.

    “I want Rosabella to go too dus (sic) 131 today!” the second-grader wrote on half a sheet of notebook filler paper in large print, addressing the note to the staff person underneath.

    Though the girl was supposed to attend an after-school program on Monday, the note she wrote and delivered to the staff herself worked. The staff excused little Rosabella Dahu, she boarded the school bus and went home.

    1. These little Texas schoolgirls are master forgers and counterfeiters.

    2. I bet they were concerned that if they said it looked like a forgery by a 7-year old and it tuned out to be a genuine note from a semi-literate parent, they would get in a world of trouble for racism, othering, privilege, etc. etc.

      1. Bingo. They’ve probably gotten notes from parents that were no better.

    3. “Please excuse Johnny; the dog ate his homework, signed, My Mother.”

    4. The intelligence needed for a 7-year old to even formulate a plan like this is pretty impressive.

      1. They learn a lot by observing. Makes me wonder about the home environment.

    5. When I was in high school, you could write your own excuse notes once you turned 18. Our class was the last one to enjoy that privilege because a class mate turned in one that said he had missed a class because “I went home to take a shit on our soft top toilet seat”. The school administration was not impressed with his honesty.

      1. Dumbass had to go and ruin it for everyone.

        Reminds me of when I traveled for work as a middle manager. We had company accounts at specific hotels that would place reservations against until somebody brought a hooker back to his room. Unbeknownst to him that in Costa Rica, hookers bill everything to your hotel room. He had fun explaining that bill.

  6. California Gov. Jerry Brown has signed legislation that raises the smoking age in the state from 18 to 21.

    Doesn’t Cali need that cigarette tax? That’s a three year gap in revenue.

    1. Wonder how many Marines they’re going to piss off with that one.

      1. They exempted military personnel. No, seriously.

      2. I wonder if it will be applicable on the base?

        When I was in during the mid-80s the drinking age was subject to the base commanders discretion. Almost all of them went along with the local laws to avoid any conflicts. In theory though, they could have set it at 18 and allowed the poor privates to drink on base.

        At least that is what the scuttlebutt at the time was.

        1. Fort Huachuca had a drinking age of 18 for years in the late 90’s. The installation commander can make that decision, the commander on Huck-a-chucka did it to keep soldiers from taking their dumbassery to Nogales and points south. I am pretty certain that this is no longer the case.

          1. Smart man. The last thing he needed was international incidents, and that’s a good way to keep them from happening.

        2. The current regulations are that the age to drink on military installations is 21. However, installations that are withing 50 miles of a nation with a lower drinking age can lower the drinking age on-post to that nation’s drinking age, or 18, whichever is higher.

          So Huachuca, Bliss, YAS, and the overseas installations have lower drinking ages.

      3. Wonder how many Native Americans are going to be mad about. Oh, wait, I guess some animals are more equal than others.

    2. They would reap far more benefits by raising the voting age to 21 instead.

      1. They would lower it to 7 and institute voting in public school classrooms if they could.

        1. “How you vote will count against your grades, children”

          1. “How my parents vote will count against your pension, teacher.”

    3. Almost all “hooked” smokers start smoking when they’re aged 11-15. Very few start after that. So, imposing a restriction on 18-20 year olds won’t make any difference in the number of adult smokers.

  7. What do we know so far about the death of Prince?

    The National Enquirer says it was murder, so that’s what i’m going with.

    1. Question Ted Cruz about his whereabouts on the night in question.

      1. Ted’s clean. His dad does the dirty work.

    2. I was just going to say the National Enquirer is going with Aids – that’s what I saw this morning, anyway.

      1. His Aides murdered him, duh.

        1. Jesse and Jerome finally got on the inside and did Morris Day’s bidding.

          1. +1 Chili sauce

        2. His Ades mosquitoes he kept as pets? Wow, he was eccentric

          1. Aedes* dammit

    3. I don’t know what we know, but I know I still don’t care.

  8. “Just how ugly will the general election be?”

    Fresh cow pies at ten paces ugly.

    1. South end of a northbound cow ugly.

      1. It’s going to make a chimpanzee shit-flinging fight seem dignified.

  9. What do we know so far about the death of Prince?

    It was caused by all the things I want banned.

  10. Former Republican presidents George H.W. Bush and George W. Bush have no plans to endorse Donald Trump in the 2016 election.

    The Bush family’s refusal to endorse Trump is the best kind of endorsement.

    1. Trump just gained a million votes.

    2. Trump lost the Kennebunkport vote.

  11. California Gov. Jerry Brown has signed legislation that raises the smoking age in the state from 18 to 21

    Next year, there will be much hand-wringing about the drastic increase in underaged smokers.

    1. This won’t make all the cool teens want to try smoking even more. At all.

  12. Hacker ‘Guccifer’: I Got Inside Hillary Clinton’s Server:

    The Romanian hacker who first exposed Hillary Clinton’s private email address is making a bombshell new claim ? that he also gained access to the former Secretary of State’s “completely unsecured” server.

    “It was like an open orchid on the Internet,” Marcel Lehel Lazar, who uses the devilish handle Guccifer, told NBC News in an exclusive interview from a prison in Bucharest. “There were hundreds of folders.”……..

    When pressed by NBC News, Lazar, 44, could provide no documentation to back up his claims, nor did he ever release anything online supporting his allegations, as he had frequently done with past hacks. The FBI’s review of the Clinton server logs showed no sign of hacking, according to a source familiar with the case.

    1. So he’s in prison in Romania and he doesn’t have access to his files? Color me shocked.

      1. That he is in prison makes that more difficult. He could be bluffing. He could also have been threatened and is trying to keep his profile up so he can’t be quietly disappeared.

        1. It’s also unclear to me what the rights he has in Romania, but he might not even be there. Fox news is saying he is in VA as of yesterday. The NBC report is dated today @2:32 am. So I am confused.

          1. As am I. I’m inclined to believe Fox over NBC for several reasons. One of them being that the NBC author’s incredulous skepticism about Guccifer’s claims on the basis that some guy in a Romanian prison didn’t release corroborating evidence on the internet that he doesn’t have access to. Plus NBC is in the bag for Hilary and they edit evidence and sources to fit their narrative on numerous occasions.

              1. I see the WaPo is covering NBC’s ass. What they did isn’t libel, oh heavens no! It was a “screw up”.

                NBC issues apology on Zimmerman tape screw-up

                1. Innocent hijinks. An intern made a mistake.

                  1. He tripped and fell onto the computer which inadvertently made Zimmerman sound superduper racist. Then the NBC editorial staff spilled coffee on the edited recording so the lie escaped their notice, at which point the producers of the news program slipped on a banana peel causing him to accidentally air the clip on national news. It could have happened to anyone.

                    1. He tripped and fell onto the computer which inadvertently made Zimmerman sound superduper racist. Then the NBC editorial staff spilled coffee on the edited recording so the lie escaped their notice, at which point the producers of the news program slipped on a banana peel causing him to accidentally air the clip on national news. It could have happened to anyone.

                      Replace my home office with NBC studios and you just described my morning.

              2. Yeah, that’s ridiculous.

                http://articles.latimes.com/19….._gm-pickup

          2. From the article:

            Lazar was extradited last month from Romania to the United States to face charges he hacked political elites, including Gen. Colin Powell, a member of the Bush family, and former Clinton advisor Sidney Blumenthal

            They either conducted the interview a month ago and sat on it until Fox reported on it, or the author is terrible with chronology or writing or all of the above.

    2. He told Fox News he has nothing to hide and wants to cooperate with the U.S. government, adding that he has hidden two gigabytes of data that is “too hot” and “it is a matter of national security.”

      Put up or shut up.

      1. at the same time that’s exactly what anybody would say who is looking to cut a deal.

      2. I have like, forty-five gigabytes of hot data that is like, super secret and stuff.

        1. pretty much this.

          1. And if anything happens to Crusty, he needs someone to delete it all before his mom sees it.

        2. I have like, forty-five gigabytes of hot data that is like, super secret and stuff.

          Euphemism?

      3. Put up or shut up.

        Once he gives it over, he loses his leverage. Plus, if it is what he says, its jammed with classified info that would get him sent to jail. Immunity deal first, goods second.

        Presumably, he has it on some sort of dead man switch. I mean, if he’s half as smart as he looks, anyway.

    3. Well, better the server than something else, right? Amirite?? Yeah, you know imarite…

    4. If it was as open as he claims, then there was no need to ‘hack’, just ‘open’.

    5. Also Fox news was reporting as of yesterday that Guccifer was in jail in Alexandria Va. so……

      “For me, it was easy … easy for me, for everybody,” Marcel Lehel Lazar, who goes by the moniker “Guccifer,” told Fox News from a Virginia jail where he is being held.

    6. The FBI’s review of the Clinton server logs showed no sign of hacking, according to a source familiar with the case.

      Bullshit. I might be slightly less skeptical if the FBI actually made such a statement.

      1. In March, the New York Times reported the Clinton server security logs showed no evidence of a breach. On whether the Clinton security logs would show a compromise, [cybersecurity expert Morgan] Wright made the comparison to a bank heist: “Let’s say only one camera was on in the bank. If you don’t have them all on, or the right one in the right locations, you won’t see what you are looking for.”

    7. The FBI’s review of the Clinton server logs showed no sign of hacking, according to a source familiar with the case.

      Could a top-shelf hacker get in and out without leaving a trail? Serious question.

      If the FBI did see signs of hacking, would they even admit it? The SecState’s server being hacked would be the kind of thing all sorts of people wouldn’t want publicized.

      1. Given what I know about this subject (a decent amount, having worked on and maintained classified systems), and Rich quotes above, you bet your ass. Though you wouldn’t have to be particularly good, it sounds like. You actually have to log unusual behavior to see if any has been attempted. From the available information, it sounds like only the barest minimum was even considered, and probably never reviewed.

  13. So, something interesting happens to weed after it’s legal

    Two years ago, the Washington state began an unprecedented policy experiment by allowing large-scale production and sale of recreational marijuana to the public. The effects on public health and safety and on the relationship of law enforcement to minority communities will take years to manifest fully, but one impact has become abundantly clear: Legalized marijuana is getting very cheap very quickly.

    Marijuana price data from Washington’s Liquor and Cannabis Board was aggregated by Steve Davenport of the Pardee RAND Graduate School and Jonathan Caulkins, a professor at Carnegie Mellon University. After a transitory rise in the first few months, which Davenport attributes to supply shortages as the system came on line, both retail prices and wholesale prices have plummeted. Davenport said that prices “are now steadily falling at about 2 percent per month. If that trend holds, prices may fall 25 percent each year going forward.”

    Although some observers will be surprised by these sharp price declines ? perhaps particularly some investors in the emerging legal marijuana industry ? seasoned drug policy analysts have long predicted this effect.

    1. So that one burnout that everybody knows is now a “seasoned drug policy analyst,” huh.

      1. Needs more weasel words.

      2. So that one burnout that everybody knows is now a “seasoned drug policy analyst,” huh.

        No, sounds more like a former DEA agent turned motivational speaker who gets brought onto Fox and MSNBC panels to spew conventional wisdom about the awesomeness of the drug war and the insanity of legalization. “It’ll be so cheap that everyone you know will become a drug addled miscreant with AIDS.”

    2. people are surprised to learn that excess supply coupled with competition leads to lower prices?

      1. To be fair, these people often flunk every basic principle of economics.

      2. Look at the economic ideas of the presidential candidates. Knowledge of basic economics is not exactly widespread.

    3. For a related reference, see: the price of suppressors.

      I’ll be goddamned if Imma pay 800$ for a metal tube with baffles and less engineering than a car muffler…

      1. There was an article I saw from years back that noted how suppressors made in the US lasted the longest because they were so hard to get that no one was going to buy the cheaply made kinds that were found elsewhere in the world.

        Don’t know if true, but sounded plausible.

        1. Yeah, but I would love to go to wherever they sell the cheaply made ones “elsewhere in the world” so my name doesn’t end up on a government list.

          1. Going there, as well as posting here, already puts your name on many of their lists.

            1. I would like to say that you are paranoid but you may be right…

              1. Some say that if the moon is full and you type ‘Preet Bahara’ into your web browser three times….

            2. +1 Preet Bharara

  14. California Gov. Jerry Brown has signed legislation that raises the smoking age in the state from 18 to 21.

    Future reboots of The Mask filmed in California will be required to cast 21+ year-olds in the titular role.

    1. So what? Eighteen-year-olds can just self-identify as 21.

      1. Do not go in there.

  15. I was thinking, with all these states raising the age to legally purchase tobacco up to the age to legally purchase booze, perhaps the voting age should be raised to 21 as well.

    *ducks and runs*

    1. You can get a medical marijuana card at 18 in California though…

      1. For now.

    2. That’s ok as long as the age to serve in the armed forces is raised to 21 also?

      1. Sure, why not?

    3. A better argument is to raise the minimum age for military service. The opposite argument was used in the sixties and seventies to lower drinking ages to 18 – old enough to serve, old enough to be served.

      1. old enough to serve, old enough to be served

        We were so naive back then….

    4. Sounds good to me.

    5. And raise the age of consent to 21 also.

      1. Sounds less good.

      2. Hell, round everything up to 30. Why not?

        1. Sometimes I wonder if Tolkien’s hobbits had it right. A hobbit didn’t come of age until 33. First they had to get their irresponsible twenties (which he called “tweens”) out of their system before they were to be considered a full adult.

          1. You leave out the fact that Bilbo reaching 111 wasn’t regarded as strange.

            1. Actually, his case anyway, it was. Because he wasn’t aging. He was disturbingly “well preserved” as they put it.

              1. But it was his condition and not his age that was odd.

                1. But it was his condition and not his age that was odd.

                  True.

            2. I think he was supposed to be on the high end of age for Hobbits at that point. But it wasn’t unusual for them to live past 100.

              1. NNNNNEEEEEEEERRRRRRDDDDDDS

                1. You know you’re one of us.

                  1. Just a slob like one of us.

        2. We need graduated ages of majority for all the different substances. At 21 you can smoke tobacco, at 25 you can smoke weed, 35 you can smoke crack, 40, meth and at 50 you can inject heroin into your eyeballs.

    6. And the draft age.

  16. Robot stitches tissue by itself, a step to more automated OR

    WASHINGTON (AP) — Getting stitched up by Dr. Robot may one day be reality: Scientists have created a robotic system that did just that in living animals without a real doctor pulling the strings.

    Much like engineers are designing self-driving cars, Wednesday’s research is part of a move toward autonomous surgical robots, removing the surgeon’s hands from certain tasks that a machine might perform all by itself.

    No, doctors wouldn’t leave the bedside ? they’re supposed to supervise, plus they’d handle the rest of the surgery. Nor is the device ready for operating rooms.

    But in small tests using pigs, the robotic arm performed at least as well, and in some cases a bit better, as some competing surgeons in stitching together intestinal tissue, researchers reported in the journal Science Translational Medicine.

    1. It’s a real bitch when their processors get stuck in an infinite loop

      1. [narrows gaze at Lee]

      2. That’s funny cuz sewing machines use loops.

        1. And people say I ruin jokes…

    2. If robots can do that, operating the fryer at your local fast food chains will be a piece of cake.

      1. Fried cakes?

        I was never a fan.

        1. I dunno – crab cakes and latkes are fried tasty cakes…

          1. I was thinking more of the funnel cakes I was subjected to before my family stopped going to the state fair. Flavorless, greasy, and the powdered sugar was a bad idea.

            1. *throws elephant ear at UCS*

            2. Elephant ears. Far superior in every respect.

              /don’t ask me about fry sauce

            3. I was thinking more of the funnel cakes I was subjected to before my family stopped going to the state fair.

              Right…..”going to the state fair” is nice way of saying “working at the state fair”. Filthy carnies.

              1. I’m pretty sure “going to the state fair” is just another masturbation euphemism.

    3. But in small tests using pigs, the robotic arm performed at least as well…

      And if the tests fail, at least you get bacon.

  17. Donald Trump vs. Hillary Clinton: “Just how ugly will the general election be?”

    Resolution: Pictures of Melania to be superimposed on both candidates.

    1. Support!

    2. Can you imagine the backlash if Chris Matthews had delivered a creepazoid monologue about a Democrat comparable the one he unleashed on Melania over a hot mike?

      Ye. Godz.

      I would love to see someone ask Hillary if she thought that sort of thing meant Matthews was on the wrong side of the War on Women.

  18. “Russian officials said Wednesday that Moscow will create three new divisions of about 10,000 soldiers each to counter NATO’s planned troop buildup in Eastern Europe.”

    He’s putin troops over here, he’s putin them over there, he’s putin them everywhere.

      1. Worth it.

        1. Wait til he challenges Germany, then he can be Putin on the Fritz.

          1. Now I feel like tacos for dinner.

    1. If you’re blue
      And you don’t know where to go to…

        1. This reminds me, i need to track down my freshman year roommate and slap him in the goddamn mouth.

          I like how one of the suggested videos is “Top 10 Creepy Experiments Done on Children.”

          1. Did it include or exclude Mengele’s work?

  19. Thank goodness California is such a deep blue state. Everyone knows that Team Red is itching to deprive adults of the right to make choices over their own bodies.

    1. The new electoral map will be split between oral and anal fixations.

    2. But, 2nd-hand smoke!!!

      /lefty who loves science

      1. Third-hand smoke pillaged my first wife’s insides.

    1. Oh yes, Debtor prisons always made so much sense – “You can’t pay your debts, so you’re going to put you in prison until you pay your debts”

      1. I think the idea was that a friend or relative would pay your debts, you know like holding someone for ransom.

        1. Knowing a lot of poor people, that wouldn’t have worked.

          A: they have no money either.

          B: their reaction is often “His own damn fault”

          1. Back when there was actual debtors prison, no one loaned money to poor people.

            1. So the debtors prison they just closed wasn’t an actual one?

              1. OK, I meant widespread.

            2. But IIRC people were jailed when they fell too far behind on the rent.

      2. Couldn’t you come and go though?

        1. Doesn’t sound like it from skimming the wiki article.

          That also would make it less of a prison and more of a hotel.

          1. Seems it varied – in some instances you could and in others you couldn’t.

    2. Do they include debts owed to the state?

      I mean, don’t pay your parking tickets, and warrants get issued. Is that also done with?

  20. Pensioner brewing 60% hooch in his bathroom dies after becoming ‘drunk’ on the fumes and collapsing into a scalding bath that was heating the alcohol

    Ronald Matthews, 72, found face-first in bathtub, after collapsing at home
    Inquest heard he was using tub to heat three-gallon bucket of the alcohol
    Also found electrical equipment and vials of alcohol around the bathroom
    Fumes and scalding water from the bath caused death, the coroner ruled

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..cohol.html

    1. Doing what he loved.
      If we could all be so lucky.

      1. Dying face-down in a bath full of scalding water isn’t the first thing that comes to mind when I think “lucky.”

        1. “Thought I saw angels, but I could have been wrong.”

    2. Any preppers here? Lemme tell ya, when it all goes south, the one guy who WON’T starve is the guy that knows how to distill hooch….

  21. Although I’m not a fan, I did enjoy Pat Buchanan totally pwning an NPR reporter this morning about how Buchanan was ahead of his time about the future of Republican policy. I think this was luck over skill on Buchanan’s part, but always enjoy someone working the press.

    1. Do not wait for orders from headquarters, mount up everybody and ride to the sound of the guns!

    2. He may be wrong about most things, but he is good at working the press and not taking any shit.

  22. “Russian officials said Wednesday that Moscow will create three new divisions of about 10,000 soldiers each to counter NATO’s planned troop buildup in Eastern Europe.”

    Honestly, why is American foreign policy based on constantly poking the Russian bear? If anything it only helps Putin’s poll numbers.

    1. But helps [dons sunglasses] our Pole numbers.

    2. Meh. We broke the Soviet Union by getting them overspend on defense. I don’t see any reason why Russia will fare any better.

    1. I hear a new SyFy movie incoming…

      1. Needs sharks.

        1. Sharkcano?

          1. Sharkcano 2: The Quakening.

    2. Interesting. Of course, it’s probably been happening since long before people ever showed up in North America.

      1. I am pretty chunks of the earth’s mantle are falling off and causing earthquakes due to Soave’s hairspray usage, and the American lust for pick up trucks.

        1. I thought all eastern earthquakes were caused by fracking now.

  23. “Did you see her walk? Runway walk. My God is that good. I could watch that runway show,” Chris said, out of breath.

    “You’ve got a hot mic,” the voice said in his ear.

    “Shut the fuck up, Valerie,” Chris said. “What kind of dyke are you if you can’t appreciate that ass? That’s a great fucking ass!”

    Brian gestured frantically in Chris’ peripheral vision. He waved him away.

    “Yeah, yeah, Brian. Your daughter’s got a nice ass too. But she never gives up the goods on that shitty TV show of hers. Is some titties so much to ask, Brian? I bet they are nice. Are they nice, Brian? You’ve probably seen them. Are they nice or not?” Chris was cupping his hands under his own man titties when the camera swung off him and to the crowd.

    “Put that fucking camera back on me, Valerie. I’m sick of your dyke bullshit. I bet you don’t even trim for that poor girlfriend of yours. You probably got bush the size of a bicycle seat.”

    The cameraman was bent over and laughing, but managed to bring Chris up on the monitors.

    1. “Look, Trump says whatever the fuck he wants and he’s going to be the goddamn President. You want ratings? You want to keep shitty ass MSNBC on the air? Let me say what I want, you fucks.”

      Brian grabbed for his microphone and Chris blocked his hand.

      “Do that again and I’ll slap your whore mouth, Brian. I’ll slap you down and then piss right in your eyes.”

      Chris made a show of scanning the crowd. “Where’s Melaya or Melanie or whatever her hooker name is? She’s 46 for fuck’s sake. Forty-fucking-six. At 46 my wife’s ass looked like a huge bag of hot garbage. And Ivanka? Oh, yeah, man.”

      A thick-set woman jumped in front of the camera Chris was speaking into.

      “Really, Valerie? You left the fucking booth for once and this is what you drag your lumpy ass in here for? Call Gates. He’ll tell you to keep me on the air. I bet he’s laughing his shriveled up nerd balls off right now.”

      Valerie flipped him off with both hands and stomped away.

      “Hey, Brian,” Chris said. “Hey, Brian. Brian. Brian. Don’t ignore me. Brian. Brian. BRIAN! You think Donald’s done ’em both at the same time? A little third-wife/daughter action? DON’T IGNORE ME, BRIAN!”

      1. You have a precious gift, SF.

      2. I literally choked on my own tongue reading this. I don’t know if it was from laughing so hard, or just my body’s attempt to cut off oxygen to my brain, or what.

        1. Your tongue was trying to kill you so that you could wipe the imagery from your mind at last.

          1. Can death wipe the horrors of SF’s stories from our brains? I’m not sure.

            1. I might be willing to take the chance…

              *glances at pot of hemlock*

            2. I fear that death will be no escape.

            3. Can death wipe the horrors of SF’s stories from our brains? I’m not sure.

              Jon Snow will let us know on Sunday night.

                1. Not nearly as good as reactions to Red Wedding.

      3. My legs are tingly.

  24. What do we know so far about the death of Prince?

    Absolutely as much as I care to know.

  25. In Ann Coulter’s immigration book, she approvingly quotes Eric Dondero. That’s almost too perfect.

    1. DONDERROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

      1. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

        *draws deep breath*

      2. I’ve DONDERRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOed him a couple times on Twitter. Once he retweeted it. I’m still not exactly sure what to make of that.

        1. His self regard is infinitely repairable, like one of those self-sealing tires – you puncture him and he just keeps rolling.

          1. Ah, yes. The Hydraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadero of myth.

    2. It’s a holes all the way round, but Skelacoulter gets points on this one.
      *Skelacoulter? Eh, Mike, eh?

    3. I’m not sure which one discredits the other more.

      1. Sometimes two go in and none come out.

        1. The phrase “two go in” should never be uttered in conjunction with “Anne Coulter”.

    4. One troll quoting another. Makes sense.

      1. It’s trolls all the way down.

        1. hrmm… an all troll army for Total Warhammer…

    5. Please tell me you pirated the e-book or robbed a Barnes & Noble or something. I can’t stand the idea that someone paid money for it.

      1. My dad bought it so I borrowed it. He wasn’t any more impressed than I am, thankfully.

    6. To be fair, he does speak 15 to 20 languages.

    7. Eric unabashedly accepts the unabashed praise of unabashedly honest Ann Coulter. ::crying eagle::

    1. I have a headache now.

      1. Send me an email. I have those pictures you asked for…

        sugarfreejay(@)gmail.com

        1. Wait, what pictures did i ask for? I’m a little bit terrified.

          1. You know what I mean. Don’t be coy.

            1. No seriously, i don’t remember. I’ve been drinking a LOT lately.

              1. I’ve been drinking a LOT lately.

                That’s a good thing.

          2. Don’t do it, Citizen X. It might be an FBI sting.

            1. Worse. Based on SugarFree’s prose, I can’t even imagine what sort of pictures he may foist upon an unsuspecting victim. If Citizen X is soon involuntarily committed, we will know the reason why.

            2. It’s probably more like firing up the drive on the Event Horizon.

              Opens up a gate to hell or wakens the sleeping gods.

            3. Ha, ha… the poor bastard replied.

              Say goodbye to Citizen X.

              1. He was warned.

              2. I need your thoughts and prayers, guys.

    2. The road to VR is littered with upended coffee tables.

  26. The Flint myth of small government disasters continues apace

    President Obama didn’t just drink the water in Flint. Obama ripped the heart of the failed small government ideology of the Republican Party.

    Obama said, “It doesn’t matter how hard you work, how responsible you are, how you raise your kids. You can’t set up a whole water system for a city. That’s not something you do by yourself. You do it with other people. You can’t hire your own fire department or your own police force, or your own army. They’re things we have to do together. Basic things that we all benefit from.”

    1. President Obama attacked the heart of small government ideology, “Volunteers don’t build water systems and keep lead from leaching into our drinking glasses. We can’t rely on faith groups to reinforce bridges and repave runways at the airport. We can’t ask second graders, even ones as patriotic as Isiah Britt, who raised all that money, to raise enough money to keep our kids healthy. You hear a lot about government overreach. Oh, Obama, he’s for big government. Listen, it’s not government overreach to say our government’s responsible for making sure that you can wash your hands in your own sink, or shower in your own home, or cook for your family. These are the most basic services. There’s no more basic element sustaining human life than water. It’s not too much to expect for all Americans that their water is going to be safe.”

      1. The solution to government failures is always, always, always more government. Tighten that ratchet!

      2. From the comments:

        Yes! Debunk that libertarian bullshit!

        Those assholes should move to libertarian paradises like Somalia or Honduras and see how long they survive.

        DU never fails.

        1. Lol and i thought the US was a capitalist race to the bottom hell hole?

      3. Lol. Did anyone tell these idiots the government was already in charge of the water supply and failed miserably?

      4. Just like DETROIT was a failure of TOO LITTLE government!!

        I’M A COMPLETE FUCKING MORON!!!

        /Melitha Harrith Perry

        1. Thust like DETHRIOT wath a failur of THOO LITHLE goverthment!

          I’M A COMPLETHE UCKING MOROTH!

          /Melitha Harrith Perry

          1. Yeah, that was better….

            *kicks dirt, shuffles off with hands in his pockets…*

            1. It’s OK. I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad or anything.

              But, seriously, I’d give her 5 American dollars if she said “sufferin’ succotash!” on the air.

              1. lmfao

      5. His ability to spin the disasters of the left as successes or pin them on his ideological opponents is breathtaking. He truly is a consumate liar.

        1. You can say that again!

      6. His ability to spin the disasters of the left as successes or pin them on his ideological opponents is breathtaking. He truly is a consumate liar.

        1. SO TRUE YOU SAID IT TWICE!!!

    2. The wrong people are in charge, new better Top Men are needed and will definitely get it right.

    3. That’s a repost of one of Sug’s parodies, right?

    4. Obama said, “It doesn’t matter how hard you work, how responsible you are, how you raise your kids. You can’t set up a whole water system for a city. That’s not something you do by yourself. You do it with other people. You can’t hire your own fire department or your own police force, or your own army. They’re things we have to do together.”

      This is why he pulls down the big bucks.

      1. People didn’t know how to work together until smart men like Obama showed them how.

      2. My God does this guy have a seething hatred for individuality.

        Fuck this asshole.

        1. My God does this guy have a seething hatred for individuality.

          No. He’s just suffering from a raging case of narcissistic personality disorder. In this he is very much like Ayn Rand. In Ayn Rand’s case she proclaimed the primacy of the individual because it gained her adherents. Obama denigrates individualism for precisely the same reason.

          1. Well, narcissists DO despise individuality, aside from their own.

      3. I’m hearing this in that arrogant tone of his and that’s not helping me keep my cool.

      4. That’s just . . . gibberish.

        You don’t even know which fallacy to start pulling on to unravel it.

    5. If government doesn’t do it, no one will. I mean, thank goodness we have all those government farms raising food for the masses. Without them we would all starve. There’s no way private enterprise could do something as important as supply us all food. Only government can do something like that.

      1. “Volunteers don’t build water systems and keep lead from leaching into our drinking glasses. We can’t rely on faith groups to reinforce bridges and repave runways at the airport.

        The false choice is so blatant and goes completely unchallenged in the media.

        1. Yeah. Evidence seems to indicate that we can’t count on government to do those things either.

        2. We certainly can’t let businesses do those things. Businesses operate for a profit, and profiting off of basic needs like water, bridges, or runways is immoral and unjust. That’s why such things need to be paid for not by voluntary exchange, but by government coercion. Because coercion is moral and just, while voluntary exchange is evil.

          1. But what if one company bought up all the water in the world and didn’t let anyone have any? Didn’t think of that, did you, smart guy?

            1. Oh, drat. I forgot that businesses make profits by refusing to do business with people. I mean, the best way to get rich is to buy up a bunch of stuff and then refuse to sell it. Because if you sold it then you wouldn’t be rich anymore. Or something.

              1. It worked for DeBeers.

                /artificial scarcity

                1. DeBeers also mastered the art of creating demand.

                2. I don’t think citing a company that sells a “product” that is LITERALLY useless for exorbitant amounts proves Sarc’s sarcastic anti-point.

                  Proves the guys who run DeBeers are duplicitous genius’ on the level of Bernie Madoff, tho.

                  1. No ne was trying to ‘prove’ sarc’s sarc. I was just piling on the joke.

                    I had hoped it was obvious.

                    1. That’s why I called it an “anti-point”.

                    2. An anti-point from the anti-Christ?

                  2. LITERALLY useless

                    How am I going to etch all of this glass?

                3. You missed the fact that the only way they did that was that while they were a respectable company in the US and Europe in Africa and Asia they were more vicious than the mafia in acquiring and protecting their monopoly.

                  The minute first world countries started holding people and countries liable for crimes they comitted in 3rd world nations DeBeers monopoly fell apart.

    6. You can’t hire your own fire department or your own police force, or your own army. They’re things we have to do together.

      You know what, fuckwit? Limit your fucking interference in my life to those things and I’ll say you’re the greatest President ever.

      The fact, even if you grant is as a fact, that I can’t hire my own police force doesn’t mean I need your simple ass telling me what insurance, lightbulbs, or toilets I can buy. Or what I can eat, drink, smoke, snort, or inject.

      Fuck you.

      1. The funny thing is, I do hire my own fire department. A lot of people in the Tucson area do. IF my house catches fire, its not going to be the Tucson Fire Department that comes. Its going to be Rural Metro, who I pay an annual fee to.

        1. Rural Metro?

          They named themselves an oxymoron? On purpose?

    1. He’s saying this now, when it’s been more than a year since they said they weren’t going to donate to anti-gay marriage causes anymore?

      I mean, I know the man lives in the past, but…

    2. The tolerant and loving left!

    3. The tolerant and loving left!

    4. “A Chick-fil-A rep simply reiterated that the chain’s new culture is “to treat every person with honor, dignity and respect ? regardless of their beliefs, race, creed, sexual orientation or gender.”

      The tongue rolling and fist pumping by the cheek gesture made me think he didn’t mean it.

      1. That’s not Chick-fil-A’s “new culture”. They’ve always treated customers and employees that way.

        1. Treat customers like people? That’s crazy talk!

        2. Don’t even know what a Chick-fil-A is, but I’m told they’re haters.

          1. The awesomest chicken sandwiches ever

          2. They are purveyors of delicious, delicious chicken sandwiches, which you will inevitably crave on Sunday, the day of the week that all of their stores are closed.

            1. True. They have surprisingly good salads too, especially for fast food

              1. Although it pisses me off that they have a salad with bleu cheese crumbles, but no bleu cheese dressing. Stop being so southern!

              2. Dem curly fries !

                1. Dammit, not curly fries, WAFFLE fries.

            2. One just opened on my commute.

              I have never been past their location when the drive-thru and parking lot weren’t jammed.

    5. If the personal is political, the political is personal.

      1. Chicken must rise above.

        1. Arise, chicken. Chicken arise.

          1. I’m not going to eat a sandwich that arises.

    6. Me and my daughter enjoy Chick-fil-A.

      I’ll be sure to double my intake when I’m in the States next.

      And when I do, I will send a spiritual big ‘fuck you, DeBlasio’ pic to his office.

    7. forcing their employees and volunteers to adhere to a policy that prohibits same-sex love

      Wait, wut? Do they have a straights-only hiring policy that I haven’t heard about?

      1. They don’t let gay employees make out on the counter. I can’t even.

        1. SO problematic.

        2. And apparently they want you to speak English. Well, I never!

          1. Best manager ever.

            1. At least now I know why I can’t understand a fucking thing young people are talking about – apparently their entire world revolves around shitty popular music.

  27. California Gov. Jerry Brown has signed legislation that raises the smoking age in the state from 18 to 21.

    My body my choice.

    1. Great, now young women are going to be smoking cigarettes in back alleys with colored folk.

      1. And listening to jazz records.

    2. Well, a 13 yr old can get an abortion without parental consent.

  28. In Asheville, NC, several local politicians are calling for an anti-freedom-of-association, oops I mean LGBT rights, ordinance.

    Such ordinances are contrary to the recent House Bill 2, but the politicians anticipate that the courts will strike that state law down, restoring to local governments the power to curtail freedom of association.

    1. Asheville should be renamed to Patchouliville

    2. Provocative!

    3. I think the state statute stands. Its purely a matter of whether state or local governments can regulate public accommodations. There’s no Constitutional or statutory requirement that state or local governments have a given set of public accommodation mandates, so the state telling the locals that they can’t pass their own violates no Constitutional or statutory requirements.

      For the courts to rule otherwise would be to gut the remaining shreds of state sovereignty. I don’t think they will go there.

  29. Nickel and diming you for your own good. Unless you’re on bennies in which case Gaia can go fuck herself.

    1. Exemptions to the fee would include people on food stamps as well as those using bags at restaurants and for medication.

      I thought you were joking for a second there.

    2. Exemptions to the fee would include people on food stamps as well as those using bags at restaurants and for medication.

      The bag my INXS cd came in won’t be taxed, yeah!

    3. I wonder if I would go to hell if I were to point out to these control freaks the kinds of people I see littering the most.

  30. Jerry Brown is taking the lowest rung off the ladder.

    1. Great, now this is in my youtube viewing history…

  31. Do liberals even take DU seriously?

  32. Do liberals even take DU seriously?

  33. Anybody have a hot stock tip? I have a few grand in cash sitting in a self-directed brokerage portion of my 401k and I’m looking for something nifty to do with it.

    Mutual fund would be OK too.

    1. Ah yes, Greetings~

      I am a Nigerian prince…

      1. Geez, not finding your ticker symbol in the search field. Guess I’ll have to miss this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

        I bought some American Superconductor instead.

    2. I think you want to talk to Palin’s Buttplug.

      1. HA! Yes, he’s quite the investment guru, isn’t he? But at least he pays his bets…

  34. raising the age to buy tobacco for smoking, dipping, chewing and vaping

    At least one of those doesn’t fit the category.

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