Election 2016

Watch Matt Welch Praise the Harriet Tubman $20 Bill on Red Eye

Tune into Fox News at 3 a.m. ET for electroshock wristbands, Snapchat Marley blackface, Bernie's commune ejection, and more.

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Tonight's Red Eye (Fox News 3 a.m.) features TV's Andy Levy in the hosting chair, steering a panel that includes me, Benghazi soldier Kris Paronto, and comedians Joe DeVito and Kyle Ocasio, with the great Rob Long in Levy's usual halftime slot. The subjects include and will not be limited to:

* Harriet Tubman supplanting Andrew Jackson on some future $20 bill.

* People allegedly getting upset at a 4/20 Bob Marley Snapchat filter, because blackface.

* Bernie Sanders being bad at communes.

* Ted Cruz being bad at metaphors.

* Horrifying technological gizmos (and an even more horrifying theme song/video to introduce them).

NEXT: Marco Rubio Says He'll Endorse Donald Trump, Now That It's 'Apparent' Hillary Clinton Will Be Dem Nominee

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  1. Watch Matt Welch Praise the Harriet Tubman $20 Bill on Red Eye

    Shocking.

    But isn’t Jackson still going to be on the back?

    1. But isn’t Jackson still going to be on the back?

      Jackson rocks a mullet. That’s where the party is.

      1. He’s not the only one, amirite?

    2. They had to leave him on something as a sign to those who would oppose the central bank.

  2. How about John Tory crying with envy after being on Hong Kong’s MTR?

      1. I thought you would have been a Doug Ford fan.

        1. I thought you might have gone someplace where you whining was appreciated.
          Fucking TIRED, Winston. I’ll bet your dog doesn’t like you.

    1. He should be crying. Toronto’s subway is awful. And I couldn’t use it at all the last time I wanted to (like 5 years ago), cause it was shut down on the weekend. Whenever I’m in Toronto, I just walk, it’s a small town anyway.

      1. it’s a small town anyway.

        Do you want to get banned from returning to Toronto?

        1. Go ahead, petition to revoke my NEXUS card!

  3. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H…..ublic_debt

    The United States actually paid off its debt entirely in January 1835

    I knew it. Fiscal responsibility is racist.

    1. Further evidence:
      The debt was just $65 million in 1860, but passed $1 billion in 1863 and reached $2.7 billion by the end of the war.

      Damn that do nothing Hoover:
      Debt held by the public was $15.05 billion or 16.5% of GDP in 1930. When Franklin D. Roosevelt took office in 1933, the public debt was almost $20 billion,

      Thank Goodness FDR kept his promises to cut spending:
      By 1939, the debt held by the public had increased to $39.65 billion or 43% of GDP. The buildup and involvement in World War II during the presidencies of F.D. Roosevelt and Harry S. Truman led to the largest increase in public debt. Public debt rose over 100% of GDP to pay for the mobilization before and during the war. Public debt was $251.43 billion or 112% of GDP at the conclusion of the war in 1945 and was $260 billion in 1950.

      1. Further evidence of Winston’s whining.
        What vintage is that, Winston? It sucks!

  4. BTW, paging John, Eddie and other bleevers:

    “ESPN fires former Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling as analyst
    […]
    “…Schilling added: “A man is a man no matter what they call themselves,” and, “Now you need laws telling us differently? Pathetic.”
    http://www.sfgate.com/news/art…..261128.php

    Wrapped in *concern* that little girls might be horribly offended!

    1. You sure have a high opinion of religious people, sevo, if you think they’re the only ones who deny that you can change your sex just by wishing.

      If we were the only ones who acknowledged reality in this way, that would be a strong argument in favor of religion, wouldn’t it?

      1. Unfortunately for me, you don’t have to be religious to recognize how ridiculous this transgender crap really is.

        1. What being a bleever does is stiffen your spine so you’re less inclined to consent to what you know to be false.

          Without the resources of a faith community behind you, you’re probably going to say, “yes, Stan, you’re really Loretta, more power to you sister, please don’t fire me!”

          1. Do you seriously believe that the people telling you how much they support transgender foolishness are really sincere? They are sincere, all right…sincere about keeping their jobs, sincere about not getting boycotted, doxed, harassed by lunatics.

  5. People allegedly getting upset at a 4/20 Bob Marley Snapchat filter, because blackface.

    Nope. Not giving any fucks. Not a square to spare.

    1. I’m sure calling a black man a pothead is probably racist to someone.

  6. Harriet should be on a new issued large denomination bill.

    1. It’s time to bring back the $500 considering how much inflation has eroded the currency.

    2. Harriet Tubman should be honored with a Snapchat filter.

  7. I’m putting Jahred on the sawbill

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