Last Dem Debate Recap, Congress Considers Sex-Selective Abortion, The Czech Republic Is No More: A.M. Links

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Screenshot/CNN
  • Hillary Clinton and Sen. Bernie Sanders loudly debated each other in front of a loud and insufferable Brooklyn crowd on Thursday; see the whole transcript here. Spoiler alert: Sanders will correct all wrongs by raising the minimum wage to $15, Clinton wants to "stand up to the gun lobby," Sanders doesn't care about the Deep South, and Clinton thinks the 1994 crime bill "provid(ed) more opportunities for young people." 
  • State attorneys general are worried that the work schedules' of retailers are too flexible
  • The Czech Republic shall henceforth be known as Czechia
  • Obama is pro-markets when it comes to cable set-top boxes
  • New federal legislation would make women seeking abortions offer a government-approved reason why before being allowed to proceed. 
  • In New York, Los Angeles, and elsewhere Thursday, low-wage workers marched for a $15 dollar minimum wage

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  1. Hillary Clinton and Sen. Bernie Sanders loudly debated each other in front of a loud and insufferable Brooklyn crowd on Thursday…

    The superdelegates hate when mommy and daddy fight.

    1. Hello.

      I wish the Czechs would make up their minds.

      1. Also. Man oh man are the Shark and Kings gonna pulverize each other into the ground or what? Almost 70 hits?!

        Nothing like playoff hockey in the first round.

        1. loud and insufferable Brooklyn crowd?

          Isn’t that kind of repetitive?

        2. Kings lost. I has a sad.

    2. Mommy and grandpa is more like it.

      1. Abeula and Grandpa Gulag

    3. my Aunty Kaylee recently got a nearly new Kia Optima Hybrid just by some parttime working online with a pc… you can check here ???????????? Open this link http://www.elite36.com

  2. Obama is pro-markets when it comes to cable set-top boxes.

    It’s how he finds out what anyone in his administration does.

    1. I’m sorry. I was under the distinct impression that the Federal Communications Commission was supposed to be an independent authority that was insulated from politics and politicians. Silly me.

      1. It is. Obama only finds out what his administration is doing when he reads it in the paper or catches it while flipping through channels trying to remember which one is HBO because he wants his GoT.

  3. 165) Last weekend, I watched Ghostbusters with my kids (ages 6 and 10). I was so proud of them?they were absolutely seething at the EPA dude. During the scene before New York’s mayor when the EPA guy is blaming the Ghostbusters for the chaos in the city, my son was actually yelling at the TV. I wonder if there are other libertarian-friendly movies that might also be appropriate and interesting for kids?

    1. Mad Max?

      1. Not sure a movie about Somalia would be the best first step for young minds.

      1. The Incredibles is practically Objectivist.

      2. Good call. The Incredibles is one of their favorites, actually.

      3. The Incredibles is awesome, as is Wall-E.

    2. Whatever Toy Story movie had Barbie talk about the role of government

      1. I was going to mention that too. Toy Story 3

    3. Anyone with a normal and properly calibrated brain would have determined the EPA guy to be the source of the problem. Through him, it encapsulates perfectly how destructive a bureaucratic mind armed with a little power and control can be. It’s incapable of nuance but only policy.

      1. And now Cracked argues he is a misunderstood hero.

    4. You must be proud of your son.

      Also, Ghostbusters was a fantastic movie. I am not at all looking forward to the new one.

      1. Why would anyone remake Ghostbusters? I do not get it.

        1. For the cause of Social Justice, of course.

          1. “For Great Justice” of course, since the SJW mind is best described by Zero Wing:

            Somebody set up us the bomb!
            Main screen turn on!
            All your base are belong to us!
            You have no chance to survive, make your time!
            Take off every ZIG!
            For Great Justice!

        2. Because the only way to get people to go see movies that check all the SJW boxes are to take popular franchises and hammer goodthink into them. See also, the Marvel and DC Universes.

        3. Haunted vagina jokes.

      2. I’m skeptical of it as well. I don’t trust the power of the SJW fad cumming all over it.

        1. Director explains why the new movie is a reboot and not a sequel:

          “I didn’t like, personally, the idea of them being handed technology, ‘here’s how to do this.’ I wanted to see it develop,”

          I guess it’s different when you’re handing them an existing franchise.

          1. A sequel would have been less insulting.

          2. Which is weird because the Trailer *specifically* references this as taking place 30 years after the original movies.

            https://youtu.be/w3ugHP-yZXw?t=8

            1. Yep, and in that case I was even willing to give it a go. How hard would it have been? Contrive some reason why the original team retired or were forced out in the intervening years. Somehow one of the women ends up with their gear. They learn to use it, modify it, make improvements, whatever. Not exactly “handed technology.” And then you have a movie built on the bones of the original but with room to grow.

              Instead, like UC says, it’s just insulting.

    5. William Atherton was great as those nefarious eighties movie characters.

    6. I supposed you should wait a few years before showing Red Dawn. Fuck did I want to kill commies after watching that movie.

      1. A fellow child of the 80’s? Did you shop at the army surplus store as well?

        1. Occasionally before camping trips. Ended up in the Marines but never got to kill commies. Now we got ’em running for President

    7. Penguins of Madagascar. Absolutely as libertarian as can be.

      1. Also I feel like the second Captain America had a suitably “be suspicious of big government” vibe… With Cap talking about America in glowing terms.

        1. I’m hoping this next one is even more so.

          It has great potential, but could be completely hosed, as well.

          1. Civil War had great potential in the comics, too, but then it was written by the…um, less-than-subtle… Mark Millar. I have high hopes for the movie, though. The Cap movies have been top-notch so far.

      2. “I can’t go to Paris! With their tax rates?!?”

        1. EXACTAMUNDO, my friend. And their breaking into Ft Knox just to get the unhealthy (and unavailable) CHEEZY DIBBLES!!!!

    8. Spirited Away- orphan becomes a servant for a wealthy mogul who runs a bathhouse for spirits in order to get her parents back, learns the value of hard work

      1. Hah, nice call. Kiki’s Delivery Service is largely about a teenage girl using her magic to start a business.

  4. …Clinton thinks the 1994 crime bill “provid(ed) more opportunities for young people.”

    I suppose incarceration could be seen as an opportunity.

    1. Free education where they can’t skip classes!

      1. Matching outfits, everyone has to use the same bathrooms so perfect equality for the LGQBT crowd, everyone gets the same food (bread lines!!), everyone gets paid basically the same. the state provides all employment, housing, food and healthcare. It sounds like progressive utopia really.

      2. Plus free gym membership

        1. And all the sex they could possibly want!

    2. An opportunity for a smooth transition from a pretend school to a real prison. Nice.

      1. I was playing with my daughter at the park today, when two small Japanese kids joined her on the jungle gym. Eventually they struck up a conversation in fairly fluent English. We asked if they went to the elementary school nearby and they said, “No, we are home schooled.” You can just see the difference between the brainwashed, soul-crushed kids and these rare breeds.

  5. Ohio State Turns the Concept of ‘Safe Space’ Against Student Protesters

    Insofar as campus concepts like safe spaces, microaggressions, and claims of trauma over minor altercations spread from activist culture to campus culture, the powerful will inevitably make use of them. Where sensitivity to harm and subjective discomfort are king, and denying someone “a safe space” is verboten, folks standing in groups, confrontationally shouting out demands, will not fare well. When convenient, administrators will declare them scary and unfit for the safe space, exploiting how verboten it is to challenge anyone who says they feel afraid.

    1. Failing to privilege anyone who feels they can shut down the speech of others by claiming to be afraid.

    2. Huh. Who would have thought?

    3. Great, bow I have to say something nice about OSU where Ken can read it.

  6. The Czech Republic shall henceforth be known as Czechia.

    You know who else made changes to the public image of the Czech people?

    1. Jan Hus?

    2. Ivana Trump?

    3. Zsa Zsa Gabor?

      *** bites lip ***

      1. Could be wrong, but I thought she was Hungarian…

        1. Correct. Hence the lip bite, darling.

          1. Oh, I thought you were just being flirty.

            1. I’ll try to be clearer in the future.

      2. Hungarian, not Czech.

        1. She IS Hungarian. Still hanging in there at 99.

          1. In my mind she died after she slapped that police officer.

            1. Yeah but we all know you…would.

        2. Know who else was Hungarian?

          1. Bathory Erszebet?

          2. George Soros?

          3. Goulash?

    4. Milos Forman?

    5. Ivan Lendl? Antonin Dvorak? Jaromir Jagr?

      1. Martina had a better overhead.

      2. The correct answer is the Warsaw Pact.

    6. Jindrich Matyas Thurn?

    7. Wenceslaus I, on the Feast of St Stephen?

  7. Politician proposes unleashing 500,000 cats to combat Roman rat invasion

    Razzi claims “time is running out” to battle the “rat invasion,” the media outlet reports. “Every day there are more and more.”

    The cats would be imported from Asia and be deployed in strategic areas throughout Rome to target the rodents.

    While the cats would get free reign of the city streets, Razzi assures there’s little risk of a feral feline takeover. In fact, the politician has a heartwarming and cost-effective proposition to keep the cats in check.

    “They could live with Rome’s lovely old cat ladies. We could even offer a subsidiary for taking them in,” Razzi said.

    1. “The cats would be imported from Asia”

      Rome has no cats of its own?

      1. Yes, but they’re Italians, so they’re too lazy to work.

        1. And they still with with their mothers.

          1. You accidentally that whole comment.

            1. Huh. I thought it was some sort of Epi-ism.

            2. I’m sitting here with my third cup of coffee, so I have no excuse.

      2. I would have thought that Rome would have plenty of feral cats too. Maybe the rats are too big for the local cats or something.

        I like the idea of neutering feral cats and releasing them again to live their lives and kill rodents.

    2. But then how will they deal with being overrun with cats?

      1. Dogs. A pack of 500,000 feral dogs to take out the cats.

        1. Damn your nimble fingers!

        2. Damn your nimble fingers!

      2. Elect IL Trumpuce?

        1. “Il Trumuce”

          I like.

          *applauds*

      3. They will also be importing Asian restaurants.

        1. Lacist!

    3. But where are they going to get the dogs to chase the cats that are catching the rats?

      1. What are they going to do about the Koreans they bring in to deal with the dogs they released to deal with the cats after they’ve dealt with the rats?

        1. Now I want Korean food.

            1. Gaegogi

    4. I know an old lady who swallowed a cat
      Imagine that. She swallowed a cat.
      She swallowed the cat to catch the bird
      She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
      That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her
      She swallowed the spider to catch the fly
      But I don’t know why she swallowed that fly
      Perhaps she’ll die

      1. Shitty remake of Khad Gadya. Dumb goyim.

    5. … and eventually they’ll decide they have to introduce gorillas that thrive on snake meat.

      1. No worries – winter will take care of the gorillas!

        1. Not with global warming it won’t!

    6. ‘So I propose we import coyotes in large numbers from America to deal with the cat infestation.’

    7. I feel like I’ve read this story before. I guess dogs are next?

  8. New Zealand hotel bans cyclists in Lycra:

    “We had a number of experiences with large men in tiny shorts and that’s not appropriate for children to see.”

    1. Huh.

  9. The Czech Republic shall henceforth be known as Czechia.

    I’m not updating my Active Directory until they prove they can keep the name for at least 3 months.

    1. It’s not: Czech, mate.

      Remember to Czechia Privilege.

  10. “The Czech Republic shall henceforth be known as Czechia.”

    It’s about time that country picked a real name.

    1. I always thought Czechia was a joke name in English. I’m glad they’re taking it back.

    2. Even Ukraine got rid of their definite article years ago.

        1. I like the sound of that. It’s “edgy” and “Now.”

        2. “If you like Czechoslovakia, you’ll love a Czech Republic”

        3. Well, I never.

  11. State attorneys general are worried that the work schedules’ of retailers are too flexible.

    I’m beginning to suspect attorney general doesn’t need to be a full time job.

  12. The Czech Republic shall henceforth be known as Czechia

    Czechiaself before you wreck yo’self?

    1. I think it was the 1987 Wimbledon finals where a sign read ‘Cash is better than a Czech’ after Pat Cash beat Lendl in the final.

      Still a personal favorite.

      Czechia wouldn’t have the same ring to it.

      1. Czecia-self before you wreck ya self.

        1. Damnit. Should have read more closely.

          Now I’m just unoriginal.

  13. Police: Drunk Brownwood woman pretends to be bull, charges cars

    Police got a 911 call around 8:30 p.m. The caller said an intoxicated woman was charging passing cars in the 1700 block of 11th Street, like she was a bull.

    By the time police arrived Erika Lenz, 39, had been dragged inside by her sister and teenage son. The report says her teenage son told police his mom had “consumed large quantities of tequila.”

    tequila does that to ya…

    1. “I am DEFINITELY not afraid of the fucking police right now!”

    2. The scariest thing I’ve ever seen is when my fraternity had Tequila night. Early in the evening somebody broke one of our windows out and later on one of our pledges puked his guts out through the same window, jagged glass all around the edges. I still cringe thinking about it–I wanted to pull him back in, but was afraid touching him would make him jerk his head.

  14. This is magnificent:

    We thought you might be interested to read the sort of legal letters that arrive when a law firm tries to get publishers to take down material which is perhaps unflattering but perfectly legal.

    The trouble is, we put ourselves in danger of being in breach of copyright if we publish the whole thing verbatim ? and it would be just awful if we’d got this far only to piss it all up the wall by doing something as silly as reproducing a legal letter.

    Thankfully, there are a few workarounds to copyright law.

    1. That’s pretty brilliant.

  15. Clinton and Sen. Bernie Sanders loudly debated each other in front of a loud and insufferable Brooklyn crowd

    That social security “discussion” was a howler. Hillary couldn’t give a straight answer if her life depended on it.

  16. The Czech Republic shall henceforth be known as Czechia.

    Now you’re going to have the Austria/Australia problem, only with Czechia/Chechnya.

    1. Okay, which one speaks the Czhechnian language?

    2. Except Chechnya isn’t a country.

        1. More of a bizarre mass hallucination, really.

            1. Penal.

              Damn my typing today!

              1. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

              2. These masturbation euphemisms, etc.

  17. “In New York, Los Angeles, and elsewhere Thursday, low-wage workers marched for a $15 dollar minimum wage.”

    I guess it’s too much to ask that they do their jobs well enough to earn the wages their getting now?

    1. How much were they getting paid to march?

      1. Well, they were being paid by union agitators, so likely less than the current minimum wage.

    1. Did it draw attention to the brand and improve sales?

    2. Why would they recall them?

      1. I’d wager government thugs came round and threatened the company.

      2. Drive up the resale value?

  18. Hillary Clinton and Sen. Bernie Sanders loudly debated each other in front of a loud and insufferable Brooklyn crowd

    Yeah, but just think about many bands were started last night.

  19. Cruz: ‘Would be a fool’ not to consider Rubio for VP

    In a recent interview with radio host Mark Levin on “LevinTV,” Mr. Rubio said that he wants the GOP nominee to be a conservative, and that Mr. Cruz is the only candidate still actively campaigning who fits that criteria.

    Mr. Cruz said he appreciated the comments and praised Mr. Rubio as one of the best communicators in the Republican Party.

    “And he ran a campaign that inspired millions across this country. It inspired me,” Mr. Cruz said. “When he ran for Senate in 2010, his underdog race in Florida inspired me. It was one of the inspirations that led me to run two years later in Texas. So I think the world of Marco.”

    1. The fact is Rubio has far more delegates than Kasich right now.

    2. I don’t see what would be in it for Rubio. Cruz would go down in flames in the general election, and Rubio despises Cruz personally.

      TBH that reasoning applies to most Republican luminaries, so Cruz might have to beg someone to be his running mate.

      1. Did you watch the clip of the potential Democratic nominees?

        1. I heard Kasich believes he’ll be nominated on a Republican/Democratic unity ticket after the conventions.

      2. He’s going to consider it right up until he doesn’t need Rubio’s delegates anymore — the 2nd ballot at the convention.

  20. The Czech Republic shall henceforth be known as Czechia.

    Looks like Rand McNally…

    [dons sunglasses]

    …just wrote Czech that its maps can’t cache.

    1. [pelts Fist with sandwich wrapping and other handy debris]

      1. *joins Tonio, flings every piece of office equipment, coffee mugs or anything else at hand*

        1. You all loved it and you know it.

    2. We’ll ignore them just like we ignored Germany’s attempt to change their name to Deutschland.

  21. Judge: Sandy Hook Victims Can Sue Gunmaker

    Gun companies had sought to reject the negligence and wrongful death lawsuit filed two years after the attack by nine victims’ relatives and a survivor.

    But Connecticut Superior Court Judge Barbara Bellis said a 2005 federal law protecting gunmakers from lawsuits does not shield the companies from legal action in this case.

    She ruled that lawyers for the victims’ families can still argue the semi-automatic rifle is a military weapon and should not have been sold to civilians.

    1. Complete bullshit. The plaintiffs are basing their arguments on the “negligent entrustment” exception to the PLCAA, but that term is defined in the statute in a way that can’t possibly apply to their argument.

      1. Like the clear meaning of words is going to deter an activist judge.

    2. They’re going to lose and they’re going to have to pay Bushmaster’s legal costs.

      1. Yep. Why does Judge Bellis hate the Sandy Hook families? WHY?!

      2. Is that a state-by-state thing or is it everywhere in the US?

    3. Seems like an easy one to refute.

      Does the military use this weapon?

      In any case, the second amendment is about military weapons.

      1. Well, its not – its about *all* forms of self-defense, from military weapons to tasers, batons, and pepper spray.

        But military weapons are certainly not an *excluded* category.

        1. It says “keep and bear arms” – there are no excluded categories.

        2. What I mean is that military arms are specifically included with the “militia” bit.

      2. Do not expect logic or reason to apply to this argument.

  22. Happy April 15th! I know tax day is for some reason Monday but this seemed like a great time to share/remind of this:
    http://amzn.to/1WvsTC4 (satirical still image)

    1. Hrmm… blocked by work proxy.

      What sort of degenerate smut did you post there?

      1. The underside of his penis.

        1. Why, Crusty, why?
          …and if I did, do you know what I would have to use a bitly link? 🙂

      2. Then your work proxy (whatever that is) is dumb.

  23. “Sanders doesn’t care about the Deep South”

    Dear Grandpa Gulag: The feeling is mutual. Good luck with that nomination.

    1. I can’t stand him

  24. 5 Possible Reasons Conservatives Are Crazy About Sex

    Here’s the crazy part. An enormous share of this could be avoided if people would follow a single rule. Only have sex in the context of a loving relationship, which both people view as the basis for family. (Back in the day, the kids used to call this “marriage”.)

    Sex can seem pretty complicated, but then again maybe it’s not. You can have sex with someone in a unifying way that fully accepts the natural consequences of that act (from emotional attachment to pregnancy). We might think of that as saying, “I want to do this with you. I understand what sex is, and I’m in for penny and pound.”

    Alternately, you can gratify your sexual appetites while desperately trying to cordon off those natural consequences. That might take the form of a one-night stand. (“Tonight let’s act like we’re everything to each other, but please don’t call me tomorrow.”) But it could also take the form of a long-standing relationship (even a marriage!) where it’s understood that conceiving a child really isn’t okay. Let’s get it on, baby. But don’t give me the whole package, please. I just want to alleviate this angsty feeling I’ve got just below my mid-section.

    1. Yeah Rachel, whatever you say.

    2. “(“Tonight let’s act like we’re everything to each other, but please don’t call me tomorrow.”)”

      I don’t see why you can’t do this within a marriage, too.

    3. But don’t give me the whole package, please.

      Umm….just the tip, then?

    4. Or…. you could just beat off.

  25. How do you even pronounce that? Check-ee-ya? Chech-iy-ya? Kech-ay-yay?

    1. There are many ways to do so. A Czech mix, if you will.

      1. [squints at GMSM]

      2. boooooo /man in back

      3. I’ll give you a *standing ovation*, Serious.

    2. Fyooo-chur-roo-shia.

      1. Nah, Obama’s only President for another half a year.

    3. It’s pronounced “The country formerly known as the Czech Republic”.

      1. Does it have a Prince?

      2. Like the “lets not offend the Greeks” …FYROM – Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia

      3. I thought it was “Throat-Warbler Mangrove”

    4. Don’t stress out too much over the pronunciation, OMWC. In two or three days, we’ll all have forgotten this whole thing and go back to still calling it Czechoslovakia.

  26. Stephen Fry: TV Personality Apologizes for Comments He Made About Child Abuse Victims

    Stephen is getting hammered on social media for speaking rationally:

    “There are many great plays which contain rapes, and the word rape now is even considered a rape.

    “They’re terrible things and they have to be thought about, clearly, but if you say you can’t watch this play, you can’t watch Titus Andronicus, or you can’t read it in a Shakespeare class, or you can’t read Macbeth because it’s got children being killed in it, it might trigger something when you were young that upset you once, because uncle touched you in a nasty place, well, I’m sorry.”

      1. Guy is a totally typical British statist libtard that thinks all the country’s problems stem from not enough government spending…

        1. I don’t know if I’d say “totally typical”. The rest is true. But I don’t decide what entertainers I like based on their politics.

      2. You’re, of course, referring to the ‘uncle [who] touched you in a nasty place’, right?

        1. Right, that guy… fucking British uncle. Shoulda known…

    1. They saw something nasty in the woodshed.

  27. Vt. resort built on immigrants’ investments used fraud, SEC says

    Securities regulators warned that investors, who poured millions into the project in the hope of also getting a US visa, could find their immigration petitions at risk, along with their money.

    The allegations are also a setback for a part of Vermont where unemployment is close to 13 percent, more than three times the state average, and for a visa program that has been controversial. Vermont state officials heavily promoted the immigration-related projects as an economic engine and provided some oversight.

    “I’m shocked and saddened by what state and federal investigators have found,” said Vermont Senator Patrick Leahy, a Democrat who has been a supporter of the EB-5 visa program. “I’m especially heartbroken for the people of the Northeast Kingdom [of Vermont], whose high hopes for these projects have been dealt a harsh blow.”

    Under the visa program, foreigners who invest at least $500,000 in US projects that create jobs are provided green cards and a path to citizenship.

    1. Since Nye has very little science cred, that’s not hard to believe.

    2. But Bill Nye had a T.V. show about science which is just like having a Ph.D.

      1. The commenters there are unhappy about MY comments.

        1. Probably because you keep hitting on their children.

          1. Only the females. I may be a pederast but I’m no goddam Penn State-style fag.

        2. Are you commenting under ‘Creamy Child pussy’ again?

          1. Gah?!

            *steps back a few paces*

            1. It is much worse when you remember where he works.

                1. Yes?

          2. disturbing _and_ disturbed

            1. I’m not the one with the van buddy-boy.

    3. BeSound ? 3 minutes ago

      And next year, to push her new show, she’ll be saying she has as much legal cred as Judge Judy, because she’s been involved in lawsuits.

      1
      ?
      Reply
      ?
      Share ?

      Avatar
      Chris Farley BeSound ? 2 minutes ago

      Agree, but judge Judy is also fake…
      ?
      Reply
      ?
      Share ?
      Avatar
      BeSound Chris Farley ? a few seconds ago

      Sheindlin passed the New York bar examination in 1965 and became a prosecutor in the family court system. In 1982 Mayor Ed Koch appointed her as a judge, first in criminal court, then later as Manhattan’s supervising family court judge in 1986.

      And Bill Nye *used* to be a mechanical engineer – which means he has only a tiny fraction of the qualifications that Judge Judy has relative to their respective public domains.

      1. But… but… he designed a sundial for NASA!

        I swear that was one of the comments there defending him.

  28. When I was in college I worked on-call nights and weekends. It does suck terribly as an employee, since you can’t plan for anything, but it allows the business to hire the staff they need for their busiest times without having dead weight during the slow times.

    Just like minimum wage hikes, the response to not being allowed to have employees on-call is going to be to hire fewer people.

    1. But I wouldn’t euphemize being on-call as “flexible work schedule” in a million years. It’s flexible for the employer, not the employee.

      1. And? The employee can always find another job. It is none of the government’s business to dictate employee working hours.

        1. I’m often on call and manage to get a ton of other stuff done during that time that I wouldn’t otherwise have time for. Fatal conceit just won’t die.

      2. Except it *is* flexible for the employee.

        Which would you rather be doing – sitting in the office at night and weekends doing nothing on the off-chance that you might be needed? Or sitting at home Netflix binging while waiting for the phone to ring?

        Because I’ve done a lot of the former in the military and it sucks far more than ‘oh my god I get to stay home and watch TV while still getting paid!’

        1. The “on-call” system the AG is shaking down isn’t the kind of on call where its “In case of emergency” it’s “Call in to see if you’ve been scheduled to work X retail shift”. I don’t know why they share the same name.

          Either way, the extortion by Schniederman is bullshit.

          1. Ah, my mistake then.

            Still, better than no job at all.

        2. I don’t think I’d call that flexible. Just more fun. You still have to be available to work. When people say flexible, they generally mean that the employee can change their schedule to suit their needs.

    2. I work 8-5 (well some days), and I’m also on call 24/7, even on vacations.

      I do get non-financial compensation for this: freedom to work from home, leave early, or post on H&R

      1. Are you reporting these benefits to the IRS and paying tax on their cash value? Because if not you’re not paying your fair share you parasite.

      2. Same here. /clinks beer bottle at 3pm on Friday…

  29. Student wearing empty holster cited for ‘threatening the safety of campus’

    “Is this just because I have a holster on me?” Parten asks the officer after turning over his identification.

    “Yeah, it is, because somebody called it in,” the officer replies matter-of-factly. “You know there’s a no-weapons policy out here, but still you want to push it.”

    “Uh … this is a protest,” Parten submits after a short pause, evidently caught off-guard by the notion that an empty holster might violate the policy.

    “Did you get permission to wear it?” the officer queries him.

    “I don’t need permission to wear it,” Parten replies confidently.

    “You need permission from the university.”

    “To wear a holster?” he asks with undisguised incredulity.

    Standing his rhetorical ground, the officer simply shrugs off the challenge and says, “There’s a no-weapons policy here.”

    “It’s not a weapon.”

    1. An empty holster murdered my family!

      1. That makes sense, actually.

        1. Best euphemism of the day (so far)!

  30. The Citadel considers first-ever uniform exception: allowing a Muslim hijab

    “she would either have to break the rules of the Citadel or the rules of her religion.”

    She must choose wisely ?.

    1. Remember when sacrificing something to follow your religion was seen as a good thing?

    2. She could choose to not be there.

      1. Oops, Citadel is a state school, IIRC, so, yeah, accommodation.

    3. Now that’s something I never expected to see.

      1. Next up: CW masks that accommodate hijabs.

        1. Actually . . . their accommodation should be a flash hood. It’s functionally identical to a hijab *and* an actual piece of military apparel suitable for wear in uniform.

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-flash_gear#/ media/File:US_Navy_Flash_Gear.jpg

          1. Tank crews have green balaclavas that basically serve the same pupose.

    4. She can go fuck herself and the goat she rode in on.

  31. oh goody, more blue people porn.

    James Cameron announces four Avatar sequels

    Good news for Sam Worthington! At 20th Century Fox’s CinemaCon presentation Thursday, director James Cameron took the stage to announce that his vision for the Avatar franchise has expanded further. “We’ve begun to bump up against the limitations of our art form,” said Cameron. “There’s just too much story.”

    And so: There will be four Avatar sequels. You should be suspicious of any promises about release dates, but Cameron outlined a Christmas release schedule for the films: Avatar 2 in Christmas 2018; Avatar 3 in Christmas 2020; Avatar 4 in Christmas 2022; and Avatar 5 in Christmas 2023. “Each one of which stands alone,” Cameron promised, “but which together form a complete saga.”

    1. “There’s just too much story.”

      I beg to differ. Hippie sci-fi sucks.

      1. You are correct, Lee. The real sequel would be about five minutes long, being the humans redirecting an asteroid to exterminate the biosphere on Pandora so the mineral assets could be safely harvested. Longer if you linger over the impact site with a monologue about how the N’avi rejected diplomacy and this was their reward.

        1. They don’t even need to do that – they have a multi-terrawatt drive. Point that fucker at the surface and let her rip.

          Anything under the drive plume will be dead of radiation poisoning within a week.

          1. You don’t want to see a blue cat person version of Armageddon with space marines shooting the would-be heros?

            1. Nope. The Imperium of Man does not dignify its enemies in this manner.

              http://i.imgur.com/MEgVf.jpg

    2. “We’ve begun to bump up against the limitations of our art form,” said Cameron. “There’s just too much story… to crib from others and pretend it’s ‘original’.”

      FTFH

    3. I remember almost nothing about that movie. Why can’t Cameron pick worthier projects? I’d love to see him make a Bioshock movie.

      1. It was Batman v. Superman terrible. The entire plot was ridiculous. A civilization with enough technology for interstellar travel gets taken down by a primitive local tribe. Yeah, that will happen. And the entire thing was the result of the advanced civilization wanting a mineral that is somehow immune to gravity yet manages to float above the planet without flying off into space. And no one in the primitive tribe ever thinks “hey these guys have some cool shit, maybe we could trade our sacred minerals for some of it”. Nope. They all fight the noble fight against the evil invaders and have no interest in life ever getting any easier or so much as getting some cool jewelry from this off planet visitors, because that is how primitive tribes roll.

        1. The difference being Avatar was pretty much on the cutting edge of technology and was actually a pretty awesome visual film, even if the story was a little weak. Batman v. Superman was just terrible sweaty turd of incoherent violence and retarded plot devices.

          1. True. But seven years on or whatever, does Avatar look that great today? It was cutting edge but was it really visually great or just different than what there was before it?

            Even if it was, that doesn’t make up for the total lack of a coherent plot or decent dialog. And to top it off, the movie has a horrible post world war Marxist Luddite message. In that sense it was worse than Batman v. Superman. Batman v. Superman is just a horrible movie everyone hates. It at least didn’t contain a seriously evil and insane message.

            1. It was literally a much prettier version of Ferngully meets Dances with Wolves. Which were both much better movies than Avatar. Shoot, Avatar: The Last Airbender was better than Avatar, and that movie was a horrible disgrace to the TV show.

          2. While I would agree that Avatar was a technical achievement, the writing was more than ‘a little weak’.

        2. In other words, John, the Na’vi were as dumb as human progressives.

          Of course, the humans in the movie were as dumb as neo-cons

          Since the story was told from a progressive point of view, the Na’vi lived in utopia.

        3. Don’t forget the part where the guy they send in to work as a diplomat never once tries to open up a diplomatic exchange with the tribal people, nor once even informs them why the humans are on the planet in the first place.

          “Oh, you just wanted some rocks?? Why didn’t you say so??”

      2. He won’t stop until his money swimming pool is bigger than Scrooge McDuck’s. He’s almost there.

      3. Can you really remember much about any of his movies? Everyone says Aliens is so great but I bet you remember a lot more scenes from Alien than you do Aliens. Titanic was the biggest thing ever in the 1990s, yet it seems to never show on cable and no one outside of a few women of a certain age remember anything about it.

        Cameron’s gift seems to be getting people to think really forgettable movies are like the biggest and greatest thing ever for a year or two before the spells wears off and everyone forgets about them.

        1. Outside of Terminator 1/2, his movies stink. Overblown, overwrought, morality plays that hammer their points home with all the subtlety of a wrecking ball over and over again. I’d rather watch Michael Bay, at least he’s got a sense of humor.

          1. Michael Bay at least can be fun. Cameron is in many ways just as bad but then makes things worse by taking himself way to seriously. Terminator is a great movie. So I will give him that. Frankly, Aliens isn’t that good. It isn’t half the movie Alien is.

            1. YOU. TAKE. THAT. BACK.

              Seriously though – its a *different* movie but, IMO, its just as great in its own way. But its hard to compare what is basically a haunted house/slasher movie with a war movie relying heavily on Vietnam war tropes.

              I do think Alien is better – I just also think Aliens is a really well done movie that can stand up to anything in the genre.

              1. I used to agree with you. But it just hasn’t aged very well to me.

          2. I take that back, True Lies and Aliens are watchable.

          3. Yeah, the Terminator movies are great. True Lies is a good action movie.

        2. Nearly all of his action movies have been pretty good summer popcorn movies, cutting edge special effects and enough of a story-line to be interesting. I don’t think he’s ever really made a movie that was totally and utterly unwatchable even the abyss was okay.

          1. I liked the Abyss. I liked Aliens at the time. But I rewatched it a couple of years ago and found it barely watchable. The Abyss and Terminator are the only two movies of his that have stood up well at all. Seriously, does anyone actually watch the entire two hours of Titanic sinking? I am pretty sure the CIA used that to break prisoners who were too tough for waterboarding to break down.

            1. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack…. Jack….

              PLEASE STOP, I’LL TELL YOU ANYTHING, JUST MAKE DICAPRIO DIE ALREADY

              1. Anyone who can watch that and not at some point start rooting for the ship to sink has no heart.

                1. I feel sorry for the iceberg which gets assaulted by that ship.

                2. I love The Terminator and like The Abyss a lot, but I have never had one iota of desire to see The Titanic and even though Avatar sounds like it might be up my (genre) alley, I heard enough about it to just say no.

              2. That euphemism isn’t abstract at all.

            2. To this day, my scariest movie experience ever was watching Abyss in my friend’s basement. His dad had ocean themed decor, sand colored walls, and a sand and rock colored couch. We watched it at like 3 AM, which also didn’t help, but man, it felt like we were there, at the bottom of the ocean the whole movie.

        3. Everyone says Aliens is so great but I bet you remember a lot more scenes from Alien than you do Aliens.

          That’s kind of unfair because Sigourney Weaver in her prime, wearing tight little panties.

          1. Yeah, that’s kind of the only scene I remember from that movie. Even when thinking about the chestburster scene I just see her taking off her clothes.

            1. You, sir, are a stellar example of fine American manhood.

              No sarcasm.

        4. Aliens has aged a bit, but it’s still cheap popcorn fun. Alien, however, is a heck of a lot more creepy but it’s a horror movie, not an action flick.

        5. I think Titanic never shows on cable because it’s six and a half hours long and shows boobs.

          1. Cable channels routinely edit out boobs, and one even showed Lynch’s full version of Dune. The real reason is there’s no audience.

        6. Aliens, T1 and 2, The Abyss – all great movies.

          But I think that with increasing power most good directors end up turning kind of shit. In Cameron’s defense though, unlike Lucas, he doesn’t phone it in when he has total control. He gets self-indulgent and the product suffers for that but he takes everyone of his projects seriously.

          But most of the great directors did their best work when someone else was still holding their leash tightly. T1 is way better than T2 because of the focus he needed to bring to get the thing done on time and under budget. T2 suffers because at this point he can start dictating terms to the studio.

          1. I know I am in the minority on this, but I think T2 sucks ass. I fucking hate the kid in that movie. I think the whole contrived “we really hate violence” scenes at the end are stupid. The only good scene in the entire movie is the last one where Arnold dunks himself in the molten metal. T1 is a much better made and more interesting movie.

            1. Oh, the kid is horrible. And I think that if anyone at the studio could have exercized real control over him they would have told him to find another.

              1. I heard he was a real nightmare to work with too – “problem child” and all that. But I don’t think he’s horrible – there are far worse examples of child acting gone wrong out there *cough Li’l Anakin cough*.

    4. Cameron just wants to help out George Lucas by ensuring that Lucas no longer holds the distinction of making the most incoherent and unwatchable set of science fiction movies ever made. Is that so wrong?

    5. director James Cameron took the stage to announce that his vision for the Avatar franchise has expanded further. “We’ve begun to bump up against the limitations of our art form,” said Cameron. “There’s just too much story.”

      I’m beginning to suspect James Cameron has a distorted view of his work in past/future film.

      1. The White Jesus motif has such a lot of nuance, and he wants to do the trope justice.

    6. “There’s just too much story.”

      Really? Because I didn’t know they made sequels to Dances with Wolves

      1. Well, we all know how the Indian Wars ended, and that doesn’t play well in holywood boardrooms…

    7. I don’t see how Avatar was a unique story. It was basically Pocahontas with some elements of FernGully and Halo thrown in

        1. How does one obtain unobtanium?

        2. How does one obtain unobtanium?

            1. They’re only filthy xenos, it’s not like that many humans will be killed when we initiate kinetic bombardment of the planet.

              1. It will be a ‘no-boots on the ground kinetic military action’. At no time will there be an *exchange* of hostilities (because the fethers can’t shoot back) so I, as President, do not need Congressional authorization to send a multi-trillion dollar space ship several light years away to exterminate an uppity bunch of furries.

      1. It’s the story of Smurfette from the Smurfs but genderswapped. Person sent in to society of blue people to take it down from the inside, instead falls in love with blue people society, and at the end the leader of the blue people uses magic trees/smurf magic to make the infiltrator a real blue person.

    8. So this next one will be a flagrant rip-off of Pocahontas 2: Journey to a New World, I guess?

    9. “There’s just too much story.”

      wat?

      Why didn’t he try to tell some of that story during the first movie instead of rehashing Dances With Wolves in Fern Gulley?

      1. Allegedly he had some scenes in the movie giving some story about how unobtanium was needed to save the humans on earth from extinction, which was why the bad guys were so desperate to get the stuff. But Cameron decided giving the bad guys motive beyond being cliche bad guys might make people emphasize too much with bad guys, which wouldn’t let him preach his morals as well, so he cut that element from the story and just made some Captain Planet Villains instead.

  32. This whole thing with the Republican Colorado caucus or whatever the hell it was is really illuminated how stupid Republicans are. Understand two things; it only involves like ten delegates and had there been a winner take all primary or an ordinary caucus Cruz would have likely won anyway.

    Trump being a master media manipulator has managed to spin this as proof Cruz and the GOP are going to steal the nomination. Cruz, if he had been smart, should have said “this doesn’t look fair” and disavowed the results releasing the ten delegates to vote for whomever they liked. It wouldn’t have cost him anything and it would have made him look like a reasonable person and Trump look like a whiner.

    But NOOO, Cruz and his dingbat media hacks are out bragging about how Cruz knew the rules and Trump didn’t, because the way to win an election this year is to brag about your guy’s ability to make the rules work for him. Worse, Cruz is not nearly as well known as Trump or Hillary and most voters first real impression of him as a candidate is going to be this spring and summer. And thanks to this; that impression might well be “oh he is the guy who stole that election in Colorado”.

    Of course Cruz and his supporters have a long and reasonable explanation why the election was not “stolen”. And they are probably right. That, however, doesn’t matter. Politics is about narrative and broad brush impressions. If your case is a long and convoluted explanation of party rules, you have lost.

    1. Cruz has proven himself to be a liar, a cheat, and a generally disgusting person long before this episode.

      1. I don’t know about that, but this episode proves he has no political instincts and is going to be cannon fodder for the Democrats if he doesn’t smarten up. Obama got the 08 nomination over Hillary by doing similar things to what Cruz did in Colorado. Obama, however, was smart enough not to brag about it. Unless they are a political junkie, voters have no idea the kind of sleazy tactics Obama used to get the nomination. As dumb as Obama is, Cruz seems to actually be dumber.

      2. Like calling up Carson’s Iowa supporters and telling them Carson dropped out right before the caucus?

        Yeah, classy guy, that Ted.

    2. I’ve been half-listening to Rush Limbaugh lately. He’s been stirring the pot on this. He’s still capable of sustaining memes when he wants to.

      1. The whole thing reminds me of the Romney and his binders of women thing. Obama made the completely untrue charge that Romney didn’t like women. If Romney had been smart, he would have said something like “do you really think I could run a company as successful as Bain Capital if I wouldn’t hire women?” and then changed the subject and started talking about the very big pay gap between women and men at the Obama White House. It would have been short, effective and put Obama on the defensive. Instead, Romney breaks out his “binders of women”. Instead of the short dismissive answer, he gave the long and defensive one. All he did was make Obama’s charge look truthful and him look defensive. “Romney is the guy who continually has to explain why he doesn’t discriminate against women” was the impression it left.

        Romney gave the long answer that although substantive left the wrong impression. Same thing is happening here. Cruz is giving this great technical answer explaining why Trump’s claim is wrong but in doing that reaffirming the impression Trump is trying to create. Republicans never seem to learn this lesson.

        1. Spot on. Call Trump an unprepared whiner and move on to something else.

    3. The fact of the matter is that when you become president, you have a lot of rules to follow. Steamrolling the rule of law is exactly what the country has too much of, and international law will be even thornier.

      If Trump can’t pay attention to a handful of state primaries at a time, how is his presidency going to handle the vast number of issues that will be presented to the White House at once? If he doesn’t have an understanding of how to work the courts, how is he going to avoid having any accomplishments overturned? Life in a decadent society is a tangled knot of self-serving rules generated by the elites, and Trump doesn’t strike me as Alexander the Great.

      1. You know who else didn’t compare to Alexander the Great…

        1. The Diadochi?

      2. First, that is a matter of perception. What to you is “following the rules” is to someone else just manipulating the rules to your benefit. Congressman who get rich by insider trading and real estate speculation based on the knowledge they gain from passing laws are “following the rules”. Nothing about any of that is illegal. It is of course appalling to the public.

        Second, maybe in another time or place “I know the rules and follow them” would be an appealing message for a candidate. That time and place is not here and now. The public is not outraged over the rule of law being ignored, though they probably should be outraged about that as well. They are angry about the entire system being rigged for a few insiders. In that environment, they argument you are making is never going to work. It is just going to make you look like another insider crook.

      3. It really does not matter. Even if this does show Cruz more qualified because he understands the rules, this is a bad thing for Cruz to emphasize.

        He’s essentially capitulating to Trump’s claims. He’s saying he won because he understood the rules, not because that was what the people wanted. He’s giving credence to Trump’s claims that Cruz was not what the people want every time someone on Cruz’s team makes the claim that this victory was due to Cruz’s superior rules-knowing powers.

        1. Trump’s playing the Democracy card. Cruz is responding by confirming that, yes, he won in spite of the will of the voters. He won because he knew RULES.

          And sure, democracy is crap and individual votes don’t actually matter, but voters tend to get angry when you emphasize such things.

          1. Exactly that. And I cannot for the life of me understand how Cruz and his advisers can’t understand that. It makes me very skeptical of his ability to win the general election. What Trump is doing is what Democrats do. If Cruz isn’t smart enough to know how to properly respond to this, how is he going to do any better in the fall?

    4. Trump being a master media manipulator has managed to spin this as proof Cruz and the GOP are going to steal the nomination.

      Well, it’s proof to the sorts of people who believe the media are lying dogs out to get Trump and you can’t believe a word they say while simultaneously believing Trump is a master media manipulator who gets the media to say whatever he wants them to say. Those people aren’t that hard to fool. In fact, you can easily fool them into believing they’re not being fooled. It is, however, extremely difficult to get them to shut the hell up when they start trolling certain comment boards with their pro-Trump nonsense.

      1. And the answer to that is tough shit. That is the way things are. And sitting around whining about it or acting self righteous about your cause won’t do you any good. That is a loser mentality. The point of politics is to win.

        All Cruz had to do was disavow the Colorado delegates the day Trump started whining about it. It is only ten delegates. And if he released them, they likely would have voted for Cruz anyway. It would have cost him nothing. Meanwhile, the impression left on the public would have been Cruz saying “you know what, that isn’t fair people should be able to vote on this thing so I release these delegates” and Trump bitching and moaning about how he is being robbed. It would have made Cruz look reasonable and above all of this nonsense and Trump look petty and mean. Instead, Cruz brags about it and looks like an insider crook and Trump looks like he has a legitimate case.

        It is not about the substance of the issue. It is about the politics of the issue. This is an election. The point is to win the election not win some technical argument about who knows the party rules better.

    5. Yeah, Cruz’s strategy is insane. At the very least he could’ve gone with “We won because the people wanted me!!” but rather he decides to make it about how he was better at gaming the system than Trump. Way to reinforce the idea that you don’t care about your voters, and play into Trump’s narrative.

    1. Not sure I care. Unless he’s eating it out of poop, of course.

      1. You Aussies are weird.

      2. “Picking Corn Off A Brownsnake” is going to be his next single.

    2. I larfed.

    3. Put it in your cornhole.

    4. Thanks for embarrassing Canada – again – BOOBle you coomba.

      1. Yeah, that’s right, Buble. Canada doesn’t need your help.

    5. Those are some damn funny photoshops.

  33. Microsoft sues U.S. government over data requests

    Microsoft Corp has sued the U.S. government for the right to tell its customers when a federal agency is looking at their emails, the latest in a series of clashes over privacy between the technology industry and Washington.

    The lawsuit, filed on Thursday in federal court in Seattle, argues that the government is violating the U.S. Constitution by preventing Microsoft from notifying thousands of customers about government requests for their emails and other documents.

    The government’s actions contravene the Fourth Amendment, which establishes the right for people and businesses to know if the government searches or seizes their property, the suit argues, and Microsoft’s First Amendment right to free speech.

  34. Smart mattress lets you know if your partner is cheating

    its concealed sensors detect suspicious movements in the bed. If the pressure matches algorithms based on research carried out on sexual motions, the worried partner will receive a warning on his or her mobile phone.

    Give a whole new meaning to “sleep number’.

    1. Daniel Lin ?@DLin71 Apr 13

      CHILD: What’s a tax return?
      ME: It’s like a obstacle course you’re forced to do – but instead of a trophy, your prize is staying out of jail

      1. obviously not a reply to your post

    2. If you think you need that, it’s probably time to reassess your relationship.

      1. ^This. And the corollary is that if your spouse thinks s/he needs that then it’s also time for you to reassess your relationship.

    3. I am pretty sure even the easiest spouse uses the spare room. Jesus, even Bill went to the home office.

    4. How exactly does that conversation go with your spouse when you but a mattress with that kind of feature?

      1. *buy

        Dammit.

    5. Inb4 the kids jumping on your bed inadvertently leads to your divorce.

  35. The Zoo Owner Who Called a Baboon a ‘Cocksucker’ on TV Has Been Charged for Whipping a Tiger

    A Bowmanville, Ontario, zoo owner best known for calling a baboon a “cocksucker” on live TV has stepped down in light of animal cruelty charges he faces for allegedly whipping a tiger.

    Michael Hackenberger, who runs Bowmanville Zoological Park, came under fire in December, when video footage that appeared to show him whipping a Siberian tiger 20 times during a training session was posted online by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). Hackenberger was charged this week with four counts of causing an animal distress and one of failing to comply with the prescribed standards of care for an animal, according to the Ontario Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (OSPCA).

    1. Well, was teh baboon a cocksucker?

      1. Depends on how flexible he was.

    2. Headline of the day, no doubt.

    3. I didn’t know Deadwood, South Dakota even HAD a zoo.

    4. Kramer did it first. Sorta.

  36. The Czech Republic shall henceforth be known as Czechia.

    Great. Already having enough trouble helping the kid with geography. So much easier when I was a kid. USSR, Czechoslovakia and Yugoslavia and you had Eastern Europe done with. Now it’s too confusing.

    1. You could always just go with Oceania

    2. “And what’s the deal with airline peanuts Moldova?”

    3. Poland, Romania, Bulgaria, Hungary, Albania, and Greece.

  37. Another success story for socialism. Surprised Bernie isn’t bragging about it.

    Venezuela to ration malls, change clocks, to save power

    http://www.yahoo.com/news/venezuela-r…..tml?ref=gs

    1. So, the wreckers and kulaks strike again. Will socialism ever get a fair chance to succeed?

    2. Oh no! Not the mall!

      -.-

    3. To what, sundials?

    4. Its funny how, prior to Chavez, they didn’t *need* to save power.

  38. New federal legislation would make women seeking abortions offer a government-approved reason why before being allowed to proceed.

    The proponents cite ‘women’s rights’ and all of our social justice language and claim it’s to help eliminate discrimination.”

    While I realize this is ultimately just another attempt by snowcones to chip away at abortions, I admire the brilliant trolling. Also, the irony of feminists whining about needing government permission for aborshunz while simultaneously calling for others to seek government permission to buy guns is delicious.

    Also – Happy Friday, Eddie.

    1. ” Also, the irony of feminists whining about needing government permission for aborshunz while simultaneously calling for others to seek government permission to buy guns for everything is delicious”

  39. The NY attorney general is starting to really grind my gears. Also him, Cuomo and De Blasio seem like the ultimate nanny staters. What is up with that state?

    For the NY AG we have him going after:

    – oil companies
    – fantasy sports
    – on-call shift for retailers

    1. What’s going on with the state is the idiots in Westchester County and points south and east ruining it for everyone. Rest of the state should secede.

        1. *nods, sheathes crysknife*

      1. JB is 100% correct. The dense pack of liberal assholes south of I-287 is ruining the rest of the state. I wish the rest would secede.

    2. NY AG has always been a bully pulpit, a steppingstone to higher office. Think of everything coming out of there as PR for a future campaign.

      1. Meh, if he brings down Deblasio and Cuomo it’ll all be worth it.

  40. Obi-Wan Kenobi: Chewbacca Actor Peter Mayhew Reveals ‘Star Wars’ Character’s Original Fate

    Mayhew tweeted pages from the original script of the “Star Wars” franchise showing Kenobi survived his encounter with Darth Vader in “A New Hope.” The plot line changed in later versions.

    1. I wish he had. Alec Guinness was one of the great actors of all time. The movies would have benefited from him being in them longer. Go and binge watch the first three movies sometime. The first 45 minutes or so of A New Hope with Luke on the dessert planet and him and Obi Wan escaping is by far the best sections of the series.

      1. Guiness didn’t want to be in the movie in the first place, didn’t like the movie, and was only happy about his association with it when it brought his career back from obscurity.

        His death was probably forced in *by him* in the first place.

      2. The first 45 minutes or so of A New Hope with Luke on the dessert planet and him and Obi Wan escaping is by far the best sections of the series.

        I totally agree.

      3. Alec Guinness hated the STAR WARS movies.

        If you want to seem do something really impressive, watch KIND HEARTS AND CORONETS, in which he plays eight murder victims, including a man in his early 20s, another man in his 80s frozen by Parkinson’s, and a woman.

    2. The teacher must die, so the apprentice can learn. This is how fantasy works. It’s probably a law by now, or something.

      Dumbledore never stood a chance.

      1. Sadly, you are right. I still like the scenes with him better than the rest of it though.

      2. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Spoiler alert, damn!

        1. Hey, hey, do you remember when Return of the King hit theaters? And the internet was all, NO SPOILERS!! And we were all, “There was a book. Published in 1955.”

          Good times, man. It was a shame that fourteen year old girls had to wait a whole year to find out if Elijah Wood died in the end, though.

          1. I SAID NO SPOILERS.

            1. Sauron wins, brings the industrial revolution to Middle Earth, opens up the Eastern markets to Midearthian manufactured goods. Elves complain about pollution.

  41. The Czech Republic shall henceforth be known as Czechia.

    the new short-form name that Czech leaders want English speakers to use for the country. The long-form name will remain the Czech Republic.

    So not actually then.

    And Czech speakers need to go back to the drawing board if they think that *English* speakers are going to go around saying ‘Czechia’ as if that’s an improvement over ‘Czech Republic’. We’re going to add an ‘N’ in there and you’re going to get pissed about it and it will be all your fault because you don’t understand how English works.

    1. I’m going to go around calling it Czechoslovakia now.

      1. My Slovak stepmother will fight you for doing that. But only if she’s sober, so you’re probably ok.

    2. We’re going to add an ‘N’ in there

      Erm… where?

      Czenchia?

  42. “New federal legislation would make women seeking abortions offer a government-approved reason why before being allowed to proceed.”

    Or to put it another way, Congress considers a bill to extend the civil rights laws to prohibit abortions which are based on race or sex.

    The linked article – from the prochoice site Bustle – is actually fairer than ENB, since it gives a quote from the bill’s sponsor, Rep. Trent Franks (R-AZ) (referring to a similar bill a few years back):

    “As Americans, all of us know in our hearts that aborting a little baby because he or she happens to be the “wrong color” or because or she is a little girl instead of a little boy is fundamentally wrong, and represents a betrayal of the precious truth that all human beings are created equal, with the Imago Dei stamped on their souls.

    “I know when the subject is related in any way to abortion, the doors of reason and human compassion in our minds and hearts often close, and the humanity of the unborn and the inhumanity of what is being done to them can sometimes no longer be seen. But this is the civil rights battle that will define our generation. At the very least, we should be able to agree that allowing the lives of unborn children to be torn from them simply because they happen to be the “wrong color” or the “wrong sex” is not who we are as Americans.”

    1. I am pretty confident they will never find a “gay gene”. I kind of wish they would because if they ever do, the Left suddenly decide selective abortion isn’t so great after all.

    2. NUGCC, what is your opinion about parents not aborting zygotes and embryos but instead genetically engineering them to be a certain sex or skin color? Should that be illegal or legal?

      1. Illegal if it involves killing human beings.

        Otherwise legally tolerated – though I suppose there may be circumstances where the risk of a race of genetically engineered obedient soldier-slaves (storm troopers with better firearms skills, basically) would make me reconsider.

        Basically, if genetic engineering gets into 13th Amendment territory I’d stop it.

  43. CDC Reports First Zika Infection Between Gay Couple

    The Centers For Disease Control confirmed another sexually transmitted case of the Zika virus was discovered in Dallas.

    This time the virus was shared between two men. One man traveled to Venezuela, then came home and was intimate with his partner, according to the CDC.

    Health officials said it’s the first report of infection between a gay couple, and worry that Zika will spread even faster through sex ? as well as through mosquito bites.

    1. You know what I’ve never seen – an article that mentions what the risk is for adults who are not or cannot become pregnant. How bad does this illness get for that population?

      1. Not to worry, it looks like we’re going to find out.

        1. (though hopefully it will be fairly mild – but we don’t yet know, or do we?)

          1. This information should be known by now – it’s not as if zika skeeters zero in on pregnant women alone.

      2. From what I understand, the virus just causes a fairly mild cold in healthy adults and children. But the birth defects it can cause are fucking horrifying.

    2. Some gay dude fucked a mosquito? It’s HIV all over again.

        1. I think that came from some dude humping a loris.

          1. The loris was asking for it, man!

  44. Merkel allows prosecution of comedian who mocked Erdogan

    German Chancellor Angela Merkel has cleared the way for the prosecution of German comedian Jan B?hmermann, whose poem mocking Turkey’s president has become the centerpiece of a clash between Germany’s free-speech traditions and the government’s efforts to safeguard its important relations with Turkey.

    1. Merkel is just the worst. She’s the Nikki of politicians.

    2. Wait, what role should a mere Chancellor play in deciding who gets prosecuted in Germany?

      1. You know what other German Chancellor..oh, fuck it.

      2. That’s what I was going to ask.

        Dude broke the law – you don’t need permission from the head of state to go after someone when they do that. The only thing Merkel could have done was *stand in the way* of the prosecution, not clear the way for it.

        And Germany has no freedom of speech.

    3. It would be worth having Trump elected just to see the Germans hoisted on this petard.

      1. Dammit, I think you might have just convinced me to vote for him.

    4. There once was a comic named Jan,
      Who poetically mocked Erdogan,
      But Der Fraulein
      Said “Nein!”
      And this last line should say something about how she should get fucked with a rusty chainsaw.

    5. Disgraceful. I would like to think that Germans won’t stand for creating a political prisoner just to suck up to some toady authoritarian in Turkey but I’m not holding my breath at this point.

      1. There are 2.71M Turks in Germany? I wonder how much of a role that played in the decision.

    6. Would someone put that bitch on the end of a rope already? Please?

  45. San Francisco; at least we’re not Palo Alto!

    “Palo Alto considers subsidized housing for families making under $250,000”
    http://www.sfgate.com/news/art…..977112.php

    1. I have a good friend whose sister is a PHD Spanish scholar. She is of enough renown that she had a tenure track position at Stanford. Stanford offered her a no interest $750, 000 loan to help her buy a house. It still wasn’t enough to get anything livable near the campus. She ended up leaving and going to the University of Iowa. Palo Alto is insane.

  46. The paper was one downer after the other this morning, with one ‘pearl’, if you will:

    “Ban that!”
    http://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine

  47. In New York, Los Angeles, and elsewhere Thursday, low-wage workers marched for a $15 dollar minimum wage.

    Uh, aren’t those the places that now have one, or at least are phasing one in? Oh, wait, they’ve realized that they’ve shafted themselves and want to drag us down too.

  48. On Friday, President Barack Obama announced he would sign an Executive Order directing every relevant agency of the Federal government to take steps in identifying bottlenecks to competition and to create new ways to increase competition in the economy. The Executive Order puts agencies on a fast-track path to, within 60 days, identify the steps they’ll take.

    “Competition is good for consumers,” Obama told Yahoo Finance in an interview at the White House on Thursday. “And ultimately it’s good for business. That’s the way the free market works. The more competition we have, the more products, services, innovation takes place.”

    It’s like I’ve slipped into an alternate universe.

    1. Nice it only took him seven and a half years to getting around to doing this bright idea.

    2. The fact that he’s not offering valuable prizes to the agencies that come up with the best ideas for stimulating competition ought to tell you something. Something seriously depressing.

      1. The most important thing the government could do is get out of the way, which would ultimately lead to smaller government as there would be fewer regulations and less paperwork and therefore fewer regulators and bean counters. The “reward” would be a reduction in funding so the agencies aren’t going to be terribly cooperative.

      2. Maybe this would stimulate good competition: The agencies that come up with top 3 ideas won’t be on the chopping block next year.

    3. So, the FCC sends in a single sheet of paper with ‘the existence of our agency.’ on it?

      GROUP ACTIVITY: Discuss among yourselves other government agencies whose very existence only serves to dampen competition.

      1. So, what, you just want me to list off every government agency?

        1. I’m trying to figure how big a market the American Battle Monuments Commission suppresses.

    4. I wouldn’t feel so happy about this. How exactly do you think government officials will go about “increasing competition”? Because I promise you that they won’t conclude that they need to be more hands off in regards to the economy. More likely they’ll erect rules preventing mergers and acquisitions, establish more price fixing and hand more power to labor unions to strong-arm management.

    5. WTF is that? Some kind of satire? I sure as hell don’t believe it is reality for one second.

  49. “The Czech Republic Is No More”

    A bit hyperbolic since the article linked states they are still using “Czech Republic” as the long form name.

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  51. I always thought that “Czech Republic” had a certain dignity and majesty to it — far more than “Czechoslovakia.” But, as they say, “when in Czechia, do as the Czechians do.”

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