weekly contests

Final Reason Weekly Contest: Laugh at Trump's Misfortune (and the Nation's)

Last week's winners revealed.

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Trump
Todd Kranin / Reason

And now for the results of our final contest. After word leaked that Donald Trump's campaign manager was once arrested for walking into a Congressman's office with a loaded gun (he claimed he'd gotten his bags mixed up), we asked you to come up with a headline announcing the next surprising bit of gossip from the Trump campaign.

WINNER:

Trump to Rename Guantanamo "Trump Torture Chamber"—Jock Hoffman, Arlington, MA

SECOND PLACE:

Trump Admits to Hand Transplant—Joyce  Farrell, Wuatoma, WI

THIRD PLACE:

Trump Reveals Well Thought-Out Economic Plan to Repeal O-Care and Introduce a Balanced Budget.  — Bobarian, Vine Grove, KY

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Donald Trump Press Secretary Accidently Releases Sex Tape Involving Candidate and his Undocumented Housekeeper, Lupita. Trump Poll Numbers Jump 8 Points.— Bobarian, Vine Grove, KY

Rosie O'Donnell Endorses Trump—L. B. Lebin, Mill Hall, PA

Breaking: Evidence Points to Possibility Ivana, Marla, and Melania All Married Donald Trump for his Money.—Tim Whalen, Manassas, VA

Trump Taps Christie for VP, Will Campaign as "Big and Rich"—Robert Ryan, Dallas City, IL

AND FROM THE COMMENTS:

Trump Support Staff Revealed to be 13 Undocumented Nicaraguans Pulling Policy Positions Out of a Fishbowl

Donald Trump Suspends Campaign after Allegations of Propriety

Trump: "I am no longer 'The Donald' anymore. I am 'The Caitlyn' "

Trump Campaign Expects Women to Lift Up Toilet Seat for Men

Support for Trump's Candidacy Surges to 90 Percent After He Announces Plans to Immediately Deport Whining Millennials

Hillary's Campaign is Biggest Trump Contributor

After a Debate, Donald Treats Himself to a Warm Bath and Good Cry

Trump-Kardashian 2016

Donald Trump Used to Comment at Reason Under the Name "Lone Whacko"

Thanks for the fun!