Debates

Reason Live Tweets the Democratic Debate

Reason staffers provide instant commentary as Clinton and Sanders face off in Miami

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UPDATE: The debate's over. Thanks for joining us. We'll be back in 21 hours for tomorrow's GOP debate.

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Democratic presidential hopefuls Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders meet in Miami for a Univision/Washington Post debate, to be simulcast by CNN at 9 p.m. eastern.

Viewers can watch the debate live on the Post's website. 

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NEXT: Can Rand Paul Become a New Leader for Republican Party Foreign Policy?

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  1. Grumble, grumble. Election. Grumble.

  2. Another one? Are the parties trying to get us all to commit collective suicide?

    1. Yes. It is a good way to control the electorate. In Chicago, the dead vote. In the rest of the country, the candidates inspire suicide. Chicago is like Yakov Smirnoff’s homeland. In Chicago, the ballot kills you!

  3. What are three words a woman never wants to hear while she’s making love?

    ” Honey, I’m home.”

    1. …”So the dwarf says, ‘I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?'”

      1. What do you call a psychic dwarf who escaped from jail?

        A small medium at large.

        1. “Knock knock.”

          “Who’s there?”

          “Alzheimer’s patient.”

          “Alzheimer’s patient who?”

          “Why are you asking me questions?”

  4. Which would be preferable, watching the election, or watching this?

    Or this?

    (Come on, you know I wouldn’t link anything *really* bad, would I?)

    1. (This is what police in Putin’s Russia use to make suspects confess)

      1. (I mean, go ahead and click, what’s the worst that could happen – other than being reduced to gibbering madness?)

        1. other than being reduced to gibbering madness?

          So, Wednesday?

  5. Bernie’s already running against Trump looks like – how cute that one of the anchor’s kids works for Shrillary.

  6. My dad, too, was born in what is now Poland.

    1. Hillary panders to everyone, doesn’t she?

    2. Polandnowski?

    3. You know who else was deeply involved with Polish immigration?

      1. Donald Trump’s personal matchmaking service?

      2. General Anders? Or does that count as Polish emigration?

    4. Oooh, was he a junker?

      1. No he was just some guy, you know.

  7. Do you want to read a joke about sodium?

    Na.

    1. I’d follow up with a joke about sodium bromate but NaBrO.

      1. I keep confusing boric acid with cable channels that should exist.

        1. Jesus, what a bunch of nerds.

    2. If these clowns were on sodium pentathol I’d watch the debate

  8. “Holmes, I bet I can stump you with a medical question. What canal is involved in digestion?”

    “Alimentary, my dear Watson.”

    1. Are you done?

      1. Someone sure is grumpy tonight.

        Maybe some Vivaldi will cheer you up.

        1. I never come here to grump.

          Bust maybe.

    2. Who do you call to investigate an electrical outage?

      Sherlock Ohms.

      1. Don’t forget his sidekick, Wattson.

  9. I find even the idea of passively observing tweets ABOUT this debate too dull to even consider.

    1. If you observe a tweet, do you change its quantum state?

      1. I just observed a Tweet. It was Rand Paul, and he linked to a Matchbox 20 song, which means he is worse than Hitler.

        1. Hmm…. I’m playing Wolfenstein: New Order, so I need this recalibrated relative to General Deathhead. Who is worse than Hitler, because he wins the war.

          1. As least he’s providing you entertainment. I’m sure that’s more than Matchbox 20 ever did.

            1. I think “he” in Gilmore’s post applied to Rand Paul. The only thing I know about Matchbox 20 is that they were a setup for a joke on Veronica Mars.

              And I’m not sure if goddamn Deathhead is providing me with entertainment, but I’ll be damned if he’s not a compelling villain.

        2. They suck but there’s a lot worse than that.

          1. ” there’s a lot worse than that.”

            Hootie, Creed …. and I got nothing else. Oh, “Nikki”

    2. It can be mildly entertaining when the Reason staff is shit-faced.

  10. I just want the digest. Is it over yet?

  11. Have they asked any of the candidates what they think about Trump?

    1. How does Donald Trump plan to shut down the border?

      He’s going to turn it into one of his casinos.

    2. Hillary would do The Donald.

      1. And what would the child look like? The very thought would make H. P. Lovecraft hide under the bedcovers.

        1. Doesn’t Reason have the photo of that creature? Maybe someone else wants to look for it

          1. I wonder what a Cruz/Hillary/Cruz child would look like, I imagine something like a vampire kewpie doll

            1. Weird nose shaped like a bowling pin?

              1. What? Sorry, I was distracted by this Trump-ish kewpie doll

  12. “Madame Secretary, only 37% of the public believe you are trustworthy.”

    “Woohoo, I beat the spread.”

  13. Rand keeps tweeting songs.

    1. I wish he had done this back when he was still in the race.

      1. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FpabN2yt84Q

        In regards to Hillary, he missed the most pertinent of available songs.

          1. Ha! Unfortunately, she never really left.

  14. ” Robby Soave ?@robbysoave
    Hillary Clinton nailing the description of Trump’s wall right now”

    Every other person immediately begins mocking her description.

    par for course.

    1. I’m confident Hillary Clinton isn’t capable of “nailing” anything or anyone.

      1. i feel like this would be the right place to post a GIF of Romans hammering Jesus to a cross, if i were @ some hypothetical libertarian-Gawker, and felt so inclined.

        1. It could have her pulling down the 95 theses and using the nails to nail the constitution onto the cross, which is made of the stocks of confiscated and dismantled SKSs.

    2. At this point it’s charming. He’s almost like Milhouse of Reason staff.

        1. failure to understand simpson’s references is like the cultural equivalence of quadriplegia

      1. Everything’s coming up Robby!

  15. I wouldn’t puncture my eardrums and poke my eyes out rather than listen to and watch the Democrats debate, but it’s in that direction on the Nolan Chart.

    If the axes were “tear your own eyes out” and “puncture your own eardrums”, when it came to the Democrats debating, I’d be up near that corner somewhere.

    I think I’d rather slam my hand in my bedroom door than watch the Democrats debate. I’d almost rather listen to my girlfriend’s sister tell me about how her day went.

  16. How do you keep a Democrat in suspense?

  17. There’s a Democrat debate tonight?

    OMG! I can’t even. Oh, the humanity.

    1. *Pulls out fainting couch*

      1. They make pull-out fainting couches? That’s…convenient

        1. Don’t judge my furniture choices!

  18. Have they talked about their military policy yet?

    http://www.breitbart.com/tech/…..privilege/

  19. All this spanish is confusing.

  20. Great, now I’m taking a shit and someone turned of the lights. Check the stall MFer.

    1. Don’t tell us you post while you’re on the loo, you sick bastard.

      Now I feel like I need to take a shower.

      There was a dude the other day who was trying to show something on his tablet. I didn’t want to touch his filthy, ‘let’s play games with our fingers in the bathroom’, fuckin’ tablet!

      Jesus.

      1. This is the Dem Debate thread right? I was simply giving birth to a Bernie supporter.

        1. Racist!

          1. Don’t make assumptions about straffinrun’s health.

      2. So, WTF is up with people who carry on their smartphone conversations into the freaking bathroom at work? I can’t believe I even have to wonder why that is a thing.

        1. Because newspapers aren’t around all over the place like they used to be?

          1. There are advantages to things being disposable.

            You can throw a newspaper in the trashcan as you leave. It’s the only civilized thing to do!

        2. I’ve noticed that too. Gross.

      3. Door knobs, steering wheels, other people’s remote controls, bathroom stall latches, the underside of a school desk, and yes…electronic touch screens. Yuck.

  21. Everybody! Climate change!

    1. Do I have to change my clothes?

  22. Bay of Pigs makes socialism OK? Bernie.

    1. So if we get invaded we can put Bernie in charge of politics?

      1. It would have worked out so well.

  23. I’m starting to think that settling political debates via holmgang might be a vastly superior way of choosing candidates. Mostly because I think O’Mallory could’ve taken both these old fucks.

    1. That’s a term denoting woodchipper resistance, right?

  24. Whatever you think of Rand Paul’s taste in music, I love his tweets. I may have to write him in come November.

  25. May or may not have been posted within the last week but here’s Michael Moynihan on Bernie’s genuinely appalling love affair with the Sandinistas

    What “made sense” to Sanders was the Sandinistas’ war against La Prensa, a daily newspaper whose vigorous opposition to the Somoza dictatorship quickly transformed into vigorous opposition of the dictatorship that replaced it. When challenged on the Sandinistas’ incessant censorship, Sanders had a disturbing stock answer: Nicaragua was at war with counterrevolutionary forces, funded by the United States, and wartime occasionally necessitated undemocratic measures. (The Sandinista state censor Nelba Blandon offered a more succinct answer: “They [La Prensa] accused us of suppressing freedom of expression. This was a lie and we could not let them publish it.”)

    While Freedom House and Amnesty International agitated on behalf of La Prensa, Sanders was making excuses for the government that censored its articles, prevented it from buying newsprint, harassed its staffers, and arrested its journalists. “The point is,” he argued, “in American history the opposition press talking about how you could kill your own people and overthrow your own government was never allowed?Never allowed to exist.”

    1. Sanders countered that he was free to quiz real Nicaraguans on their political allegiances, but they “laughed” when he asked which party they backed because “of course they are with the government.” When asked about the food shortages provoked by the Sandinistas’ voodoo economic policy, Sanders claimed that bread lines were a sign of a healthy economy, suggesting an equitable distribution of wealth: “It’s funny, sometimes American journalists talk about how bad a country is, that people are lining up for food. That is a good thing! In other countries people don’t line up for food: the rich get the food and the poor starve to death.” When asked about Nicaragua’s notoriously brutal treatment of the Miskito Indians, the Free Press noted that Sanders “attempted to cut off” the line of questioning. (Ted Kennedy called the Sandinistas’ crimes against the indigenous Miskitos “unconscionable,” “intolerable,” and “disturbing,” commenting that they were relocated at gunpoint to “forced-labor camps which resemble concentration camps.”)

      Unfortunately most of his supporters can’t find Nicaragua on a map.

      1. “THAT’S OLD!!! YOU’RE OLD!! EUROPE IS REAL SOCIALISM, AND THAT OTHER STUFF WAS THE FAULT OF REPUBLICANS””

      2. It is Deja vu’ all over again.

        Commie regime comes into power and commie fans get all excited and crow about the imminent utopia. Commie regime turns out to be thieving, murderous scum. Commie fans disavow the regime and cheer on new upcoming commie regime somewhere else.

        Despite what is on display in all of the countries where they have single payer healthcare on the scale from Venezuela to the vaunted NHS, some fucking shit for brains ignores the reality of the past and present and pushes for it here in america.

        I used to know an old kraut who fought against the soviets both in the war and within German society. If you mentioned commies to him his bald head and face would turn beet red and he would spit “There is only one way you can deal with them!” . Then he would make a finger gun and point it at you.

        I guess he would know.

  26. Thought experiment: in Bernie Sanders’ socialist hellhole the average middle class worker will pay $4,700 in additional taxes– mostly to pay for single payer health care and other things like paid vacation so you can bond with your 3 day old, increased Paid Family Leave benefits and other abominations against God. Right now the average cost of a family health care plan in capitalist utopia is over $16,000.

    Question1: in capitalist utopia how much time will I need to amass enough savings so that I can bitch about Black people getting Welfare benefits?

    Question2: my communist dick friend keeps telling me that people that live in societies that have universal health care live longer than in capitalist utopia. Can you guys provide me with the page number in The Fountainhead where Ayn Rand’s 8 million word screed against collectivism and altruism begins? I want to shut communist dick friend up because he obviously doesn’t understand that it Nietzschean supermen who allow all us lessers to have the good life that we so richly, richly don’t deserve.

    Thank you.

    1. This one time, tony, tulpa, chad, mng and shrike were all beaming down to the peak of mount derp, and they got mixed together in the transporter.

    2. New experiment: AmSoc slugs down a cup of Drano. What will happen? I will get my notepad.

    3. 1. He will need far more than 4700 to pay for all his goodies including healthcare

      2. Where are you getting this 16K/family number average? Citation needed.

      Why did Vermont scrap their plan due to cost if there were all these savings to be had? This was a liberal governor who ran on it fyi. He couldnt justify the tax increases needed. Will these savings materialize like the 2500 obamacare number?

      3. How did you determine universal healthcare caused living longer? Considering 90% have a plan and the other 10% don’t can still get treatment (not having coverage is not the same as treatment). Also would like you to adjust and remove fatal accidents/gun shots from that list and check the US life expectancy…you would be surprised. And the US is number 1 in cancer survival.

  27. Question1: in capitalist utopia how much time will I need to amass enough savings so that I can bitch about Black people getting Welfare benefits?

    More.

    Question2: — With record keeping done differently the numbers are not commensurate. Even so, if you subtract out lack on black violence in America the numbers are commensurate with Europe. I blame Prohibition. And our Black President doesn’t care.

    1. Even so, if you subtract out lack on black violence in America the numbers are commensurate with Europe.

      not for murder. It closes most of the gap, but it’s still something like twice as high

      1. We were talking life expectancy. I’d like to see the murder stats. I don’t think white Americans (sorry about that) are too different from the Euros.

    2. Americans count life beginning at birth. I believe some (all?) Euros don’t start counting until the first week or the first month.

    3. I think amsoc is racist…yikes

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