Michael Bloomberg

Michael Bloomberg Officially Not Running for President

He fears that even if he came in first place, rogues in Congress would throw it to Trump or Cruz minus a clear Electoral College majority.


In a somewhat self-important (under a veneer of selflessness) op-ed that appeared, wait for it, on Bloomberg View today, ex-New York City Mayor, absurdly officious statist busybody, and official leading Reason Enemy of Freedom Michael Bloomberg says that he's not going to run for president this year.

Why not? Because, he thinks, even if he were to win the highest number of states or electoral votes if he launched a self-funded independent presidential run, partisans in Congress (to whom the choice would fall absent a majority of electoral college votes going to one candidate) would just give the Ring of Power to a dangerous demagogue such as (his pal) Donald Trump or Sen. Ted Cruz.

Bloomberg is flattered that Americans wanted him to run so badly, and hopes and prays he's doing the right thing by throwing himself on an electoral sword to keep your Trumps and your Cruzes from illegitimately triumphing.

For those who still can't imagine voting for any of the people they can imagine winning the GOP and Democratic nominations now, there is still America's Biggest Third Party, the Libertarian Party.

And while it gets harder with each day that passes thanks to restrictive ballot access laws, it's not quite too late for someone with a lot of money to pay petitioners to get on the ballot as an independent for president

But alas if you feel that it's not enough having only two choices of candidates whose prime political imperative is knowing far better than you do what's important when it come to your choices and ability to live your life free of external interferences (for some it's about trade, for some it's about privacy, for some it's about guns, for some it's about how to spend your money, for some it's about who you can hire, but it's always something), sorry your man Bloomberg has removed himself from consideration.

But this Reason TV piece on Bloomberg's legacy should tell most sane Americans that they can breath a sigh of relief that this guy has removed himself from even potential contention for the White House:

NEXT: Western Washington U. Students Demand College for Social Justice Indoctrination

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    1. shit, now we’ll miss out on having another screaming, asswipe, jerkoff fucktard douche bag telling us how bad we are and how if we only listened to them everything would be all right…just saying

      1. We will? Have all the Democrats and most of the Republicans been abducted by aliens?

        1. that’s un-documented worker…you hater!

  2. He’s officially running for Dictator.

    1. Whatever happened to the good old days when dictators didn’t have to mess around with this pesky election shit?

      1. Whatever happened to the good old days when if you wanted to lead a country you had to conquer it and risk your life in the fighting?

        And sometimes the better man loses, for example Harold got shafted during his election attempt.

        1. for example Harold got shafted during his election attempt.

          That was quite barbed.

      2. What are 99.94% election results, chopped livers?


  3. IOW, the asshole knows he has no chance. It’s not like they didn’t do an exploratory probe into this and came to the conclusion that very few people would vote for him. What a jerk.

    1. That, and someone finally got it through to him that running would only peel off Democrat votes. Why would he want to undermine his true political party like that?

      1. He has been running a campaign for the last couple of years. My neighbor’s kid has been working for the Bloomberg campaign for the last couple of years, which makes visiting difficult. Anyone who would seriously entertain a discussion about regulating the size of fountain drinks should be laughed out of public discourse, let alone entertaining the thought of seeking higher office after having enacted such regulations.

        The fact that anyone would seriously consider this guy as a potential candidate for president should have been all the warning I needed that Trump might actually win some votes. I’ve spent too much time in the HnR echo chamber, so I didn’t realize just how far we had fallen.

      2. the might not have got him to understand that, but at least got him to see that the best he could accomplish is breaking the electoral college. he still is delusional enough to think the GOP might not get the most votes…. that he would somehow strip enough votes for there not to be a clear winner by the electoral college… and he thinks congress would have to hand it to the GOP, but that he or Hillary would actually have the most votes.

  4. Good. Now Gary Johnson will be the only sane one.

    1. Are you implying that the garden gnome is sane?

    2. Gary Johnson could’ve been the only sane one ‘…but then he got high, then he got high, then he got high’.

  5. “The moon is no door. It is a face in its own right,
    White as a knuckle and terribly upset.
    It drags the sea after it like a dark crime; it is quiet
    With the O-gape of complete despair. I live here.”

  6. You know, Bloomberg is quite the paper tyrant. His gun control crap has went nowhere and even NYC told him to go to hell on his sugary drink crusade.

    Now he won’t even go for all the power because big meanies will bully him and take his toy away. Wah! Shutup Bloomberg, you weak, you short, have small hands. Donald strong! Donald smash!

      1. It’s WA, land of Seattle. Those people will take away all their own rights with no help needed from anyone else.

        1. Those people will take away all their own rights

          That would be fine. But they’re taking mine as well.

          1. You shouldn’t have signed that contract, we’re all in this together.

      2. His gun control crap has went nowhere

        No. It has went after Jason Mattera.

        1. Jason Mattera must be a midget, he’s barely taller than Bloomberg.

          1. Back in the French kid porn thread you made a request. Here you go.

            1. Nice site, I larfed at the ‘One Weird Trick’ cartoon.

              1. Thanks, I’m no Bok, but I take a flying proverbial at a rollin’ bagel every now and agin.

    1. Small hands? Or just a huge dick? (it’s small hands).

  7. I took one of those online “who do you agree with most/least” quizzes. Falling at the bottom, below even Hillary & Bernie, was Michael Bloomberg. Good riddance….

    1. He’ll get a spot in Hillary’s cabinet. I suspect he’ll be the new Gun Czar.

      Oh what, you thought he dropped out of the race for free?

      1. Or he’ll head up the FDA.

        1. There needs to be a new agency. The FBGASD (federal bureau of guns and sugary drinks).

  8. “Bloomberg is flattered that American wanted him to run so badly, and hopes and prays he’s doing the right thing by throwing himself on an electoral sword to keep your Trumps and your Cruzes from illegitimately triumphing.:

    I notice “American” is singular in this piece. That American who wanted Michael Bloomberg to run was, of course, Michael Bloomberg. I have not seen evidence of a single non-Michael Bloomberg advocating his entry into the race.

    And the screen capture from that video looks familiar…


    1. I’m not surprised American wanted him to run; they’re both racist petty tyrants. I am surprised they wrote an article about it.

    2. I still think the Maignot Line is impenetrable.

      1. Yes it was. The Germans had to go around it. It was Belgium that was not impenetrable.

    3. i wanted him to run. strip of more of hilberns’s votes. he never had a shot to win.

  9. So Bloomberg’s not running for fear he’ll split the electoral vote and wind up being responsible for Congress electing either Cruz or Trump for purely partisan reasons. Instead he’s going to sit on the sidelines and keep his fingers crossed that America chooses wisely. Since we already know he’s fearful that a Trump or a Cruz might unfairly take the election through Congressional machinations, dare we guess who Michael is keeping his fingers crossed for and who he thinks has a better chance of winning if he isn’t peeling off votes for her?

    1. Bloomberg was going to run if Sanders won the Dem nomination and Trump or Cruz won the GOP nomination, hoping that the two candidates would alienate a bunch of people in the middle and that he’d be able to win a 3 way race. Now that Hillary has all but wrapped up the Dem nomination, there’s no reason for him to jump in, he’d have no chance.

      1. He is clearly unhappy that Sanders has pushed HRC to the left on economic issues. However, he probably figures she doesn’t really mean it, and once elected, will govern more or less the way Bill did.

        1. I think most of Hillary’s supporters assume Bill will actually be calling the shots. And one thing Bloomberg was never bad on was business.

  10. Just so you know:

    I am officially not running for president.


  11. If he was running, that would make him the worst candidate of them all including the ones that have dropped out.

    1. I don’t think so. Fiscally he was pretty sane for NYC. He would be better than Hilldawg or Bern, that’s for sure.

  12. Huh. Just now from the wife: “You need to get off of the computer. You are drunk.”


    She is half right.

    1. So, you’re half drunk?

    2. Just tell her that drunk and computer go together like Mexican and ass sex.

  13. I’ll be sure to add salt to my meal tonight and have a soda pop.

    The world doesn’t need another smug nanny to take care of it.

  14. Holy shit Erin Andrews was awarded…$55 million.


    1. Years ago the master brake cylinder on my work van gave out when my friend and work mate was driving it down a huge hill here in SF. He slammed into a house and died. It was a GM part failure. His widow got 3.5 million for that.

      1. I have nothing to say except to mention I read your comment.

      2. 3.5 million because he was too stupid to pull the parking brake.

    2. Yeah, that’s never going to stand. Fucking idiots on the jury.

  15. Gosh… maybe at least The Political State will order his likeness struck on official Medals for Humility in Altruism and Self-Sacrifice.

  16. what codswallop. He was just worried that Bernie would nationalize and equitably redistribute his vast collection of gently used ladies’ unmentionables. Now that the threat has been neutralized he can go back to falcon handling or whatever…

  17. Oh, he’s fooling himself. We could have fit him in the cup holder of the clown car.

    1. It’s over. The usual dissembling permitted to slide. 8-(

    2. *Clicks link*
      “… to prison pipeline and replace it with a cradle to college pipeline”

      Tune in at any point to skankles talking and you get pure drivel.

      1. She wants to be President of a College instead of a prisoner?

        I could live with that.


    3. “I have said it wasn’t the best choice to use a personal email. It was a mistake. However, I am not alone in that.”

      Shut up, stupid hag. We’re talking about servers, not emails, and yes you’re alone in that, stupid hag.

  18. I refuse to vote for Better or Worse. Is this some kind of marriage?

    I’m voting for entertainment.

    1. I’m voting for Montgomery Brewster.

      1. What about Punky Brewster…..?

  19. Damn! I was hoping he would blow a billion of his fortune, steal Hillary’s chance and then lose.

  20. Good riddance petty tyrant.

  21. Apparently college basketball has been wussed out. On a highlight I just watched at ESPN (can’t link it directly) an Iona player got T-eed up for dunking.

    What in the fuck? You can’t dunk anymore?

    1. Dunking is a micro-aggression against short people.

      1. So is the sport of Basketball

        1. We’re going to have to ban it, it’s the only way.

          1. Ban everything just to be safe

            1. Ban everything that’s not compulsory.

              h/t T. H. White

    2. They still won, so there is that…

      1. Though you can’t hang on the rim afterward unless someone under you makes it unsafe to do so. Gets called a lot, guy dunks yells something or other uses the rim to get higher, gets a T. It’s the whole unsportsmanlike conduct thing.

  22. “In a three-way race, it’s unlikely any candidate would win a majority of electoral votes, and then the power to choose the president would be taken out of the hands of the American people and thrown to Congress.”

    Oh no!

    Look, you smarmy hack, this system brought us John Quincy Adams, not too shabby – it’s just that the Jacksonians make a lot of people think it was all corrupt.

    But really, is it so horrible that, if the Presidential electors can’t get a majority for any candidate, the House will pick from among the three finalists?

    It’s a shout-out to the advocates of Parliamentary government. A limited shout-out.

    It’s not a constitutional disaster. Sheesh.

    1. In a three way race, someone would get a majority of votes, it just wouldn’t be Bloomytard. He’d probably get 1-2%.

    2. I don’t think John Quincy Adams was a bad president. But then I’m not a libertarian (at least not in any strict sense.) JQA was, by the standards of his time, a big-government man, favoring a national university, a government-financed astronomical observatory, internal improvements, etc. (He was not as enthusiastic about tariffs as his Secretary of State Henry Clay, but he did reluctantly sign the Tariff of Abominations.) The Jackson party as it emerged after 1825 was more libertarian than Adams’ “National Republicans.” With of course the important proviso that it was liberty for white men only…

      1. It could have been a whole lot worse than J Q Adams. And now of course it is.

  23. While Bloomberg is writing this, he’s dreaming of Hillary’s post-election press conference where she announces her Cabinet nominees: “And for Secretary of Awesomeness, I’m reaching across the aisle to a great American, Michael Bloomberg…thanks for not messing up the election for me Michael…”

  24. At least now that I’ve read the article I know what a monologue on the West Wing is like.

  25. So, basically, he endorsed Hillary Clinton, then.

  26. And I was so looking forward to “The Libertarian Case for Michael Bloomberg” column.

    1. He’s not Hillary or Trump?

  27. Sure, it has nothing to do with the fact it would be impossible to get his name on the ballot in all 50 states.

    1. Still possible with good organization and his kind of money. See the link on “get on the ballot as an independent for president.”

  28. You’re getting ?120 worth of bonuses for just a fraction of that price. Everything to get you started in learning a proven system for accelerating your exam success. So if that’s what you want to do, this is the opportunity you’ve been waiting for….

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  29. Turd sandwich and Giant douche want to thank Scumbucket for his humble decision.

  30. He was never going to run against Clinton. There’s insufficient distance between them. He was floating his name purely in hopes of a Sanders win.

  31. Fantastic work-from-home opportunity for anyone… Start working for three to eight hr a day and get from $5000-$12000 each month…HM Regular weekly payments… You Try Must……

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  32. Rats, I was so looking forward to mandatory 3 oz. soda cups, nationwide. I guess I’ve got to sell my long position in Dixie Cups.

  33. Boy, that was a close one!!! Everyone I know was on the edge of their seat waiting for old Bloomey
    to give the word. Now we can rest easy that this infernally stupid blowhard will not be taking over the White house. As one can see fromhis description, winning enough votes would be no problem. It’s those damn two other political parties blocking his rightful path to the White House and more Big Gulp restrictions. Big Gulpers can rejoice.

  34. One less turd in the toilet bowl that will be the 2016 election, although Bloomturd is far and away the biggest. I’m sure the only reason he is not running is that HRC seems to have a clear path to the white house right now. HE only started to make noise about running when it looked like Bernie might win.

  35. That’s a relief. On iSideWith Bloomberg scored a low 25% for me; even Sanders did better than that.

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