Triumph the Insult Comic Dog Poops on Campus Political Correctness
Borscht Belt puppet hilariously microaggresses New Hampshire college students.

"Can I hump your leg? I know I look like a dog, but I identify as a shinguard."
That's how Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, of Conan fame, addressed a female University of New Hampshire (UNH) student in a segment about campus political correctness for Triumph's Election Special 2016, which streams on Hulu.
The state university was a natural choice to be pooped on not only for its relevance to the presidential primaries but also for its short-lived but self-parodic "Bias-Free Language Guide," which declared words like "American," "mothering," and "healthy" to be beyond the pale of civilized discourse.
Triumph's alter ego, Robert Smigel, has described his puppet character as a parody of a Borscht Belt hack comedian, akin to a less-charming Don Rickles. For the better part of two decades, the rubber puppet has been "punching down" at hapless victims of his rapier wit, such as the "nerds" waiting in line for a Star Wars premiere. But he has likely never encountered a more humorless group than the dozen or so UNH undergrads in this video.
I won't ruin the microaggressive jokes by transcribing them, but near the end of the segment, a completely over-the-top walking stereotype of a flamboyantly gay African-American man walks into the room, and you can practically see the smoke emanating from the heads of the students as they try to find a non-problematic way to describe him.
These earnest college kids are clearly trying to do what they've been conditioned to believe is the right thing, which is to avoid stating things in plain and understandable language in order to spare hurting anyone's feelings. But the effort is both futile and absurd, which might be the point.
As Smigel told Ben Collins at The Daily Beast:
I told the kids, "Act like you believe in what you're doing and saying," so they might have actually gone a bit too far. I can't tell how that one actually plays because usually people laugh when they're being made fun of. These kids were trying to hold it in.
This quote indicates that the UNH students might not actually be as uptight as they appear in the video, which is a good thing! Laughing at yourself isn't "punching down," is it?
Reason TV recently asked students at Occidental College how they feel about the school's proposed system for reporting microaggressions. Watch below.
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1:14 mark is the exact moment the irreversible trauma occurs.
Oh, she was not amused.
It's okay to engage in a little bit of light humor, just for fun ? but if you start insidiously twisting words to stir up controversy with inappropriately deadpan "parody," then you are asking for a jail sentence, and we will have law enforcement intervene to protect the reputations of our distinguished humanistic leaders. See the documentation of America's leading criminal "satire" case at:
http://raphaelgolbtrial.wordpress.com/
And don't go blabbing to me about the Letters of Obscure Men. Those "letters" fooled monks around Europe and three of them were "signed" by very respected members of the academic community and a Church official. They were rightly banned by the Pope and would be illegal if published in our great nation today.
You mean satire like "Fuck off" and "Stop linking to your bullshit every goddamn opportunity". Like that?
Excellent ? well chosen figures of speech ? hinting as they do at our nation's strength, at our humane resources, at our enduring capacity to grapple (our attention-span is limitless, especially online) with the difficult issues of our time ? to make gold from mud!
Dammit, I keep accidentally reading your comments. It's not until I get to the the "America's leading criminal "satire" case" that I realize it's you; pimping that same stupid website that nobody cares about.
Can you do us a favor? Maybe post your idiot blog at the beginning of your post, so we know to avoid it and save everyone some time?
Which website is that? Could it be the one containing this material:
http://raphaelgolbtrial.wordpr.....rsonation/
and other "free-speech" junk of the sort? At any rate, it's great to see such a sharp-witted Reason participant joining my campaign. Perhaps more accidental readers should get in on this too. Heck, maybe we can get a law passed that prevents (1) pimping websites that provide documentation pertaining to certain minor little issues that must not be discussed and (2) tricking accidental readers into sloughing their way through comments they never wanted to read.
Meanwhile, I would merely reiterate that we must, and hopefully soon will, use any pretext we can find to re-criminalize libel ? not only in New York, but throughout this great nation ? so we can send a very clear message to the trolls of the Net, who wander around using inappropriate forms of "humor" to stir up unwanted controversy on our college campuses.
The sketch artist bit was truly inspired.
I am floored. How the fuck are these college kids able to sit there with their resting moron faces and not laugh through this? Are they all autistic or something? Have they put something in the infant formula twenty years ago that killed the part of the brain where the sense of humor resides?
The worst monsters usually come with a smile on their face. I find little solace in the fact that these kids were willing to laugh at themselves. Just because they have a sense of humor doesn't mean they don't believe this shit.
The brunette whose leg was humped didn't look like she was just pretending to be a humorless scold.
The blonde in glasses was almost certainly being a genuine douchbag. She can't even...
Yes, but wouldn't it be fun to defile her face?
They have a website for that. Sugar Free told me about it. Its all about glasses.
He actually sent me the link. I think he likes me more.
This worries me.
It should.
They are called safety glasses for a reason.
She has a stick way up her butt.
It's merely empathy with the puppet.
"Hey Cathy Lee! I like your singing! I haven't heard notes like that since my mother got hit by a mail truck!"
"Hey Judd Apatow, I like your beard, but enough about Leslie Mann!"
the rubber puppet has been "punching down" at hapless victims of his rapier wit
Rapier than male college students? Is that even possible?
Okay, the Daily Beast headline writer made me laugh for the wrong reasons:
"Triumph the Insult Comic Dog is the only political commentator who can pierce through the vile racism and extremism of the right and repellant smugness of the left."
See - the problem with the right is that they're extremist racist bigots. The problem with the left is that they're just a little too full of themselves.
Okay.
They mean well Irish and have the right idea. They just get to full of themselves and run off the dumb hillbillies out in flyover country.
No matter how much you loath the media, it is never as much as they deserve.
I showed my wife 20000 legues under the sea last night and thought it was funny even back then how the reporters were portrayed as sensationalist who had no interest in the truth.
They used to be sensationalist gutter dwellers but they were at least equal opportunity gutter dwellers in that they would report anything that moved copy. Now they are just propagandists for a stale and evil political cause.
Also Kurt Douglas is still alive at 99.
He's trying to outlive Natalie Wood's sister.
You mean Kirk (not to be pedantic - just correcting the record) and if anyone has not seen him in Billy Wilder's "Ace in the Hole" they should correct that immediately. Possibly the most scabrous portrayal of the media ever commited to film. It's excellent: http://trailersfromhell.com/ace-hole/
I prefer British journalists to American ones because a lot of British tabloid journalists fully acknowledge they're sleazy trash and are more honest about it.
I can respect that. What I can't respect is one sided dishonesty.
And they tend to be a lot more aggressive in interviews. American interviewers are way too restrained.
Equal time baby, equal time.
What's cool is in 15 (or so) years they'll be Attorney General, Secretary of State and running for Senate, Congress and/or President.
And they will hold exactly the same beliefs and attitudes as they did in college, just as we all do.
I don't hold the same beliefs I did in college. I hold some of the beliefs I did, but not anything close to exactly the same beliefs. Hell, I don't hold the same beliefs now I did ten years ago.
I think that's his point.
Nope, some will become more intensified and hardened in their beliefs, others will be more like Bernie Sanders, some like Eric Holder who protested against the man, then became the man. Yet still others will be much more moderate like Barack Obama who campaigned like a college student, but governed like an establishment hack.
And about 1% of them will become cynical, disillusioned Reason commenter types.
FOR ME TO POOP ON!
And I would not call the effort futile. It does result in something; namely that it causes them to no longer see the connection between words and reality. If you censor yourself and avoid saying obvious truths and speak only in buzz words and falsity long enough, you will eventually forget that there is an underlying reality that the words describe and start thinking there is only the words. When that happens, you get people believing in magical things like "signing an agreement with another nation will automatically ensure peace" or "sending everyone to college and having them buy a home will make everyone middle class" and so forth.
"sending everyone to college and having them buy a home will make everyone middle class"
It would have worked, too, if it wasn't for those darn banksters!
What's cool is in 15 (or so) years they'll be Attorney General, Secretary of State and running for Senate, Congress and/or President.
Clowns like these don't run anything unless Daddy hands it to them. One has to be socially intelligent and crafty to get anywhere in a top-down human organization, public or private; it is a skill all its own. Anyone who buys into this PC bullshit verbatim is not socially intelligent and crafty. Only way someone like this gets to fuck things up is if they have ear of someone who matters, like a Valerie Jarret with President Michelle.
And when one looks at last time colleges rolled full prog, that generation of prog ideology and its adherents wandered political wilderness with exception of Bill Clinton - who is no true prog - for basically decades. And that hole is still there; Donks currently have no up-and-comers, a thinning bench of apparatchik retreads, and have been historically eviscerated at the state level.
"wandered political wilderness with exception of Bill Clinton "
This statement is remarkably delusional.
Care to elaborate?
This statement is remarkably delusional.
Hell it is. Between prog-topia of 1968 convention and Bill Clinton's election in 1992 the Donks had Jimmy Carter for one term.
True, but they also had solid control of Congress until then, didn't they?
Not if they're going to UNH.
No hat tip for Lord Humungus?
My metal mask is rusting from the tears.
So...unleash your dogs of war then?
Smigel can barely hold it together he's enjoying it so much.
Comedy GOLD. This is how you combat political correctness or any other ideological bullshit.
They can't take being laughed at. There is a reason why comedians refused to even talk about Obama, beyond some of them being afraid of the nasty leftists going after them. The leftist comedians understood how ridiculous Obama is and how easy it and damaging to him and the cause to have lampooned him. Every form of fascist and leftist is the same. They cannot take ridicule.
For something to be funny it must contain an element of truth. Preferably an uncomfortable truth. And if there is one thing leftists hate, it's the truth. Especially uncomfortable truths.
Reality is fundamentally uncomfortable for progressives.
I'm surprised this ran:
"Obama Gently Guides Michelle's Hand As She Maneuvers Drone Joystick"
By the way, I'm curious: did the plug ever pay up? I'm guessing no.
He claims that he has.
I haven't seen the Buttplug since it lost the bet.
He can't keep hard if he doesn't show her how to do it. She also has to speak in a man's voice (which she has no problem doing).
The Onion is pretty great on that level, especially regarding drone stuff. They also had the recent headline, "Retreating Clinton Campaign Torches Iowa Town To Slow Advance Of Sanders Volunteers"
Comedy = honesty.
It really is. The cool kids don't like being the butt of jokes. If a culture becomes the butt of most of societies jokes the next generation of cool kids won't want to become members. It's why most progs get so pissed when they are the ones being laughed at but love it when it's their opponents.
I got to the part with the name tags and had to stop watching. I'm afraid that my coworkers might be beginning to think that I am really losing it.
I'm thinking of getting a "Swipe Left" t-shirt, because people are perverse and do the opposite of what they're told.
Could someone explain "swipe left"?
On Tinder swiping left means you're not interested in someone and swiping right means you are.
How can you mention Smigel without mentioning SNL's TV Funhouse? Come back here with my show!
I'LL GET YOU, TAIL!
God, that was the best show ever on TV.
Ace and Gary were Carrell and Colbert's best work.
I was partial to Stedman.
Still, how could anyone keep a straight face around, "What are you looking at???"
Laughing would be a microaggression.
I count 2 boys, 2 girls and like 8 "undecided" in that room.
I always figure the "undecided" are boys. There seems to be a lot of reasons why a boy would want to try and pass as something else in college these days.
(correction = 3 girls. the females seem more comfortable with their gender stereotypes)
"I always figure the "undecided" are boys. '
It appears more as though when they hit puberty, they actively repressed the development of any masculine traits, and hoped that avoiding sports and wearing glasses would ensure they maintained a defensive-slouch, weak shoulders, an indoor-complexion and a perpetually-terrified look in their eyes.
i get that its 'New Hampsire'. but you'd think there'd be at least one stoner/mogul skiier in there. A 'New England Spicoli"-type.
Its New Hampshire. You would think at least one of them would have at least played hockey or something.
UNH still has a kick-ass hockey team, so, it being winter, I imagine the hockey players are busy playing hockey.
It appears more as though when they hit puberty, they actively repressed the development of any masculine traits, and hoped that avoiding sports and wearing glasses would ensure they maintained a defensive-slouch, weak shoulders, an indoor-complexion and a perpetually-terrified look in their eyes.
Is this what womyn really look for in men now? If so, then thank God I was born when I was. Although if I was around now I'd be the one who was beating these pussies up for their lunch money everyday in junior high, as opposed to be getting beaten up.
When I was in college (one state over from UNH) I remember maybe one guy in our whole class as fat as the two fatties in the video. What a bunch of sad sacks.
Some people are late bloomers, you know. Or just have that body type.
I can tell the gender of everyone in that room, I just have serious questions about some of their fashion choices.
A girl with the sides and back of her head shaved with a mohawk takes a very particular woman to pull off, and that woman is rarely a skinny, androgynous nineteen year old.
Also, some of the dudes need to get on a treadmill, Jesus Christ.
At least most of them share one particular, important quality, right?
They are of legal age?
Wait, that was a girl?
Hard young products conditioned to be predictable, inflexible, and compliant- the perpetual human material weaved into the finest bureaucracies of governments the world over.
Meh. Triumph was funny as usual but the dudes and chicks seemed to play along with it.
Some of them did. The skinny dude on the bottom left seemed genuinely horrified when the gay black guy confronted him, and the blonde girl with glasses was truly not "okay" with the whole event. I have little doubt there were some very distraught messages posted to tumblr that day.
Smigel is genius. His recent work crucifying the superheroes in Times Square paralyzed me. I could not stop watching that wreckage.
Are you my comment doppelganger?
But you're the one with the goatee.
+1 Evil Spock
That's not a goatee, that's a genuine Victorian-era merkin. You would not believe how much he paid for that thing.
Some of us find ways to put our bodies to good use.
I lost it a few times. Smigel is genius.
You know who else was considered a genius and said politically incorrect things...
Me?
Dammit.
robc?
Lenny Bruce?
Trump? (runs away)
You can't spell Triumph without Trump.
Nobody who comments here, that's for sure.
George Carlin?
That was awesome. Especially the uncomfortable looks on their faces while trying to describe a fat gay black man without actually saying "fat," "gay," or "black man."
Really just the uncomfortable looks in general though were pretty funny. Humorless asshats.
Is the leg humping going to be reflected in UNH's sexual assault statistics?
It didn't look like he had "clear, unambiguous, enthusiastic and ongoing consent" so yes. That was rape, straight up.
The blonde "snowflake" in the 2nd video is really fucking irritating.
I still would, though.
The one in the Carolina Blue fleece? She is cute enough.
I was referring to the one in the cap and flannel shirt, although I can see your confusion. They're both annoying.
Annoying but cute enough nonetheless.
That was awesome.
Although the fatty with the hat in the front was having none of it.
Re the 2nd video. Ooof.
1) Black girl says you can't say 'all lives matter' because it takes away from 'black lives matter' and its purpose. Trademark! But later says she's for free speech. Alrighty, then.
2) Tim Wolfe you putz.
3) Girl in cap doesn't want people put in prison for what may be deemed hate speech (thank God for that! Phew!) but the problem is that's exactly what you'll end up with. See climate change pant shitters who call for the imprisonment of climate 'deniers'.
4) Herika Reddy needs a bigger dildo.
That was a more indicting video than the Triumph vid.
I finally found someone I can feel okay about voting for. Glad I watched this!
I just hope the dog puppet is eligible. (His accent makes me nervous he may not be American.)
IT IS TIME!
...for a new show called, "College Kids Say the Darnedest Things!"
hosted by Bill Cosby, of course.
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Back in the non-PC 70s I used to make jokes about "Men - they have their points. One of them anyway." and "Gee, guys, I hope you won't hold IT against me!" Oh, actually today I still make them.
"Castrate the transsexuals" is one of my favorite ones. (Sometimes I'll throw in "any any transgender who wants to bring his penis into the women's room." OH, don't say that in NYC or it will cost you $250,000!
And "some feminists - not necessarily me, of course - say there's nothing wrong with the world that giving birth to half as many males wouldn't cure." Is quoting those feminists for mere discussion of a thought experiment OK with you guys???
Where's the little blond BITCH THE BRILLIANT DOG??? Some feminist create her now!
Carol Moore in DC, testing Reason readers tolerance for real political incorrectness...
I might be offended by your remarks (though I'm not), but I would NOT say you should be penalized for making them. THAT's the difference between PC thinking and free speech thinking.
Stated differently, it's FINE to be offended by crude, vulgar, or insulting remarks. Just don't go running to the authorities to get them to slap down the "offending" party.
I think your remarks might offend many of the readers here, but I doubt that ONE of them would insist on you being punished or restricted by governing authorities. It's an important distinction that it seems many fail to grasp. You, perhaps?
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Shouldn't say "person." Should say, "perdaughterson." Can't say "humanity." Should say, "humperdaughtersonnity." That way females and gender-undecided people won't have their feelings hurt. Also, you can't say "African-American" unless you're sure the perdaughterson isn't from Europe.
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It's time for the alumni of American colleges to provide some adult supervision. STOP GIVING THESE LEFT WING PC COLLEGES MONEY!
Too many people donate to their "alma mater," based on a hazy recollection of their halcyon college experiences. Whatever you remember -- real or sanitized -- ain't what's happening on almost ALL of today's campuses -- public and private.
Stop funding these anti-freedom, anti-American, totalitarian-oriented, brainwashing reeducation camps! Target your donations to nonprofit groups that support freedom.
Perhaps more important, revise your charity donations in your wills and trusts to fund institutions that support the liberties and Western classical liberal values that at one time supposedly were the standard at American colleges and universities.
I have. I've shifted my donations and my charitable remainder trust beneficiaries (a modest trust, to be sure) to the nonprofits defending liberty -- Heritage, CATO, REASON, Institute for Justice, etc.
"whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal."
if you're worried too much about how i feel, then i don't want to know you, because it's impossible to know the real you when you're behaving like some programmed lunatic.
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