DC Prepares for Epic Snowball Fight

Let's hope the police don't bring out their guns this time.


After experiencing a fairly mild winter season so far, East Coasters have finally ushered in the cold weather with the arrival of Winter Storm Jonas. Washington D.C. was in the eye of the storm and received two feet of snow along with nasty winds, causing much of the nation's capital to shut down. However, not all D.C. residents are planning to hunker down indoors for the entire weekend; some are prepared to brave the elements to attend a massive snowball fight held in DuPont Circle on Sunday. 

Hopefully this year won't see a repeat of the DC snowball fight in 2009, when a police officer—upset at being hit by a snowball—pulled his gun on the snow-pelting crowd.  Reason TV's Dan Hayes was on the scene, capturing the tense confrontation between police and citizens who chanted "Don't bring a gun to a snowball fight!" 

NEXT: Resolved: This Is Not an Election About Restraining the President

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  1. I wonder how many times that guy has been promoted since 2009.


    *blam* *blam* blam*

  3. That cop isn’t used to having balls on his body, lol

  4. You’re using the Weather Channel’s bogus naming of snowstorms? For shame.

    1. This.

      Winter Storms don’t have fucking names. It’s a weather channel ploy to make it seem like we get weather we’be never gotten before to hype global warming and pad their ratings.

      Stop it.

  5. What with the weather, I almost forgot it was Troll Appreciation Saturday.

    Deep-dish pizza invades Houston, Texas

    1. No. no it doesn’t. I did not read the article because I don’t need to.

      deep dish what you may call it is not PIZZA and i won’t read your blasphemy even though I am a Texan who is not supposed tp know Pizza from White Castle

      There is no such thing as deep dish pizza.

      It is a myth just like a nice North East Coast Yankee who is a cool guy.

      It doesn’t exist. It is a WART on humanity to think that it does.

      1. I had lasagna tonight, but the whole time I was thinking, You know, noodles are fine and all, but what I really wish was that this thing had been baked into a dough crust instead.

        1. A *three inch thick* dough crust.

      2. It is a myth just like a nice North East Coast Yankee who is a cool guy.

        Well, at least we don’t all fuck our sisters like people from Texas.

    2. Only eat Sicilian style pizza. The rest are all fakes.

  6. And back in Houston

    “At a business park just outside the loop in northwest Houston, a laid off energy worker named Shawn Baker has launched a strange business encouraging people to take out their frustrations on household furniture.

    “Tantrums LLC invites frustrated Houstonians to demolish rooms full of stuff with sledgehammers and other implements of destruction.”

    1. Adult preschool, coloring books, and now tantrums.

      1. There’s some guy in Minneapolis who has set up an adult sandbox….. a big cleared site with heavy equipment to play on – bulldozers, backhoes, etc.

        Looks like loads of fun if you don’t work in heavy construction.

    2. Do they provide laser printers or do you have to bring your own?

    3. Houston is one of , or the only, great cities in the world that doesn’t have zoning laws. Zoning laws prevent small entrepreneurs to flourish if they don’t have the money to overcome City Hall regulations in the first place.

      As a result Houston is the most entrepreneur city in the US and probably in the world outside of some places in Asia who are smart enough to copy us. Hong Kong for example..

      For all of you who are laughing at this ask your self.

      Are you really a Libertarian or do you just play one on the internet ?

      1. You can laugh at this and the culture that creates adults that feel the need to go pay someone to have a temper tantrum while still appreciating the legal environment that allows a guy to run this business and customers to patronize it.

        “I will defend to the death your right to be a childish arsehole, but you’re still a childish arsehole.”

  7. “A gangster’s moll who posed for a saucy selfie holding a machine gun while wearing just a leotard and a balaclava has been jailed for 10 years, police said.

    “Caitlin Adams, 25, and five men including a Polish former soldier, were involved in what detectives said was a plot to make and sell illegal guns and ammunition to criminals in London.

    “Adams picked up deactivated guns and delivered them to a workshop to be reactivated for her serving prisoner boyfriend Ishmael Brown….

    “Detective Constable Claire Gentles, from the Metropolitan Police’s Trident and Area Crime Command, said: “The firearms and ammunition this gang converted had the potential to cause great harm on the streets of London and there is no doubt that the capital is a safer place as a result of the network being dismantled….

    “Detectives said Brown was using a mobile phone smuggled into his [prison] cell at HMP Rochester to buy deactivated guns and then sell them to criminals once reactivated. Another prisoner, Ehsen Abdul-Razak, was arrested after it was discovered he helped sell the gun to [codefendant Uzair] Patel with his own secret phone.”

      1. It’s a picture of a Brit in skimpy clothing. It’s NSFL.



    1. As I recall, a black person was also president at the time.

  9. A black actor doesn’t like the movie roles he’s being offered, so he decides to makes his own movie.

    It’s about the Nat Turner rebellion and it’s called “Birth of a Nation” (trying to reclaim the title, I imagine).

    I don’t know if the movie is any good, but I found this criticism hilarious:

    “what he heard instead were all the reasons a movie about Nat Turner wouldn’t work: Movies with black leads don’t play internationally; a period film with big fight scenes would be too expensive; it was too violent; it wouldn’t work without a big box-office star leading it; Turner was too controversial ? after all, he was responsible for the deaths of dozens of well-off white landowners.”

    Didn’t Tarantino do a slave-revolt picture some time back?

    1. The story of the movie’s origin is inspiring enough that I hope it’s good, but one never knows. It might be kind of a downer.

      1. If I’m filling in for Agile, I better step up my game. Fortunately, Finnegan’s Wake is in the public domain, so I can dip into the online version at will:

        “Chest Cee! ‘Sdense! Corpo di barragio! you spoof of visibility in a freakfog, of mixed sex cases among goats, hill cat and plain mousey, Bigamy Bob and his old Shanvocht! The Blackfriars treacle plaster outrage be liddled! Therewith was released in that kingsrick of Humidia a poisoning volume of cloud barrage indeed.
        Yet all they who heard or redelivered are now with that family of bards and Vergobretas himself and the crowd of Caraculacticors as much no more as be they not yet now or had they then not-ever been. Canbe in some future we shall presently here amid those zouave players of Inkermann the mime mumming the mick
        and his nick miming their maggies, Hilton St Just (Mr Frank Smith), Ivanne Ste Austelle (Mr J. F. Jones), Coleman of Lucan taking four parts, a choir of the O’Daley O’Doyles doublesixing the chorus in Fenn Mac Call and the Seven Feeries of Loch Neach, Galloper Troppler and Hurleyquinn the zitherer of the past with his
        merrymen all, zimzim, zimzim.”

    2. “Didn’t Tarantino do a slave-revolt picture some time back?’

      Everyone knows Hollywood will never make a Slave-Revolt movie

      1. #AllSlaveRevoltsMatter

    3. So, anyone taking bets on whether the movie about his hero will show the rebels killing women and children, as was historically documented? Not that I entirely blame Turner, but let’s try not to make this a hagiography.

      1. Yeah, the risk isn’t that it would be “too violent” – is there even such a concept in Hollywood anymore? – but that it may soft-pedal the violence.

  10. This is quite an impressive list.

    1. “C.S.A.: The Confederate States of America (2004)

      A faux British documentary of today reviewing American history, operating under the counter-historical premise that the Confederate States of America won the American Civil War, annexed all of the United States in the process, and thereby preserved and expanded slavery throughout the nation.”

      You see, its a real-documentary… but made by people pretending to be british

      1. expanded slavery throughout the nation

        I knew it – states’ rights my ass!

      2. Seen it. It’s actually not bad. The extremely racist fake commercials in it are….I hate to say….hilarious. Amazingly, they are also based on businesses that actually existed.

    2. “The Legend of Nigger Charley (1972)

      The blaxploitation film takes place in America in the Antebellum South. It follows three slaves seeking their freedom.[13]

    3. A Lars Von Trier one i’d never heard of.

      For good reason, i think. The plot =

      “Grace [young white female progressive liberal]…takes charge of the [slave] plantation in order to punish the slave owners and prepare the slaves for life as free individuals.

      In order to guarantee that the former slaves will not continue to be exploited as sharecroppers, Grace orders Joseph to draw up contracts for all Manderlay’s inhabitants, institutionalizing a communistic form of cooperative living in which the white family works as slaves and the blacks collectively own the plantation and its crops. Throughout this process, Grace lectures all those present about the notions of freedom and democracy, using rhetoric entirely in keeping with the ideology of racial equality which most contemporary Americans had yet to embrace.

      However, as the film progresses, Grace fails to embed these principles in Manderlay’s community in a form she considers satisfactory. Furthermore, her suggestions for improving the conditions of the community backfire on several occasions… After a year of such tribulations, the community harvests its cotton and successfully sells it, marking the high point of Grace’s involvement. Subsequently she un-enthusiastically has sex with one of the ex-slaves who also steals and gambles away all of the cotton profits. …. “

    1. That’s how we troll in Bay Ridge.

      1. I’m almost positive that’s the Dunkin Donuts on 3rd Ave across from Bridgeview Diner…that guy made my day

        1. Beats me. I roll on 5th.

  11. OK, good night, and as James Joyce or Agile Cyborg once put it:

    Be that as it may, but for that light phantastic of his gnose’s glow as it slid lucifericiously within an inch of its page (he would touch at its from time to other, the red eye of his fear in saddishness, to ensign the colours by the beerlitz in his mathness and his educandees to outhue to themselves in the cries of girl-glee: gember! inkware! chonchambre! cinsero! zinnzabar! tincture and gin!) Nibs never would have quilled a seriph to sheepskin. By that rosy lampoon’s effluvious burning and with help of the simulchronic flush in his pann (a ghinee a ghirk he ghets there!) he scrabbled and scratched and scriobbled and skrevened nameless shamelessness about everybody ever he met, even sharing a precipitation under the idlish tarriers’ umbrella of a showerproof wall, while all over up and down the four margins of this rancid Shem stuff the evilsmeller (who was devoted to Uldfadar Sardanapalus) used to stipple endlessly inartistic portraits of himself in the act of reciting old Nichiabelli’s monolook interyerear Hanno, o Nonanno, acce’l brubblemm’as, ser Autore, q.e.d., a heartbreakingly handsome young paolo with love lyrics for the goyls in his eyols, a plain- tiff’s tanner vuice, a jucal inkome of one hundred and thirtytwo dranchmas per yard from Broken Hill stranded estate…

  12. Washington Post, on “How to make ‘weather’ into shitting-blood-on-yourself-drama” =

    “”A blizzard that will be remembered for generations as one of the biggest storms in the region’s history closed its 36-hour reign in a wind-whipped fury that caused whiteouts deep into Saturday night“”

    …[7] and there followed hail and fire mingled with blood, and they were cast upon the earth: and the third part of trees was burnt up, and all green grass was burnt up.
    [8] And the second angel sounded, and as it were a great mountain burning with fire was cast into the sea: and the third part of the sea became blood;
    [9] And the third part of the creatures which were in the sea, and had life, died; and the third part of the ships were destroyed.

    1. Don’t forget dogs and cats living together.

    2. Jesus Christ. Where I grew up, what happened today was called “Tuesday”.

  13. A progressive’s interpretation of the TV show “Firefly”…

    ….which is really a tale of libertarian-dystopia where ignorant yokels victimize oppressed peoples…. who would be far better served by Big Government-Alliance servitude. Also, they’re racist, probably.

    1. To be fair, this is also kind of Joss Whedon’s take on his own work. Well, at least the ‘Alliance are the good guys’ part.

      …I’m not sure if he made that comment before or after the whole ‘the Alliance drugged a whole planet and created mass-murdering rapist cannibals’ thing.

      1. They point out this was proposed by Whedon himself at the end. the ‘coup de grace’

        “I’m not sure if he made that comment before or after the whole ‘the Alliance drugged a whole planet and created mass-murdering rapist cannibals’ thing.'”

        eggs. omelets. social contract.

        1. But that’s the weird thing, it’s amazing how they’ll bend over backwards to make the Alliance ‘the good guys’ when the whole thing can easily be presented as a Marxist argument. It’s not even that hard to frame the Alliance as a corporatist oligarchy where the bourgeois attempt to turn the proletariat into docile thought-slaves. Hell, I always took the whole ‘rich Core Worlds and the poor Outer Rim/former Independent planets’ as a really obvious world systems theory analog.

          Honestly, it’s like they’re not even trying. *Notices it’s from Cracked* Oh. That explains a lot.

          1. as a really obvious world systems theory analog

            Brilliant. I taught Wallerstein last spring and re-watched the entire series over the summer and completely missed that.

          2. Yeah, fuck O’Brien and Wong. Cracked was funny for about a year before Wong infected the whole site with his insufferable Proggie prick shtick.

            And John Dies at the End was as entertaining as a pediatric oncology ward. Fuck everything Wong has done.

              ” please remember that all content is political. If you write about pop culture and never write about, say, racial stereotypes in movies, then you’re making a strong political statement (specifically, that racial stereotypes in movies aren’t worth noticing or worrying about). Every word you fail to say conveys an opinion on some subject. whether or not you perceive a piece as being annoyingly political depends entirely on your point of view. For instance, this article on a gay man living in a country where homosexuality is illegal could be seen as blatantly liberal by some readers, because we’re clearly siding with the gay man in that scenario. But this article about awesome war heroes could be seen as blatantly conservative by others, because we don’t challenge the assumption that warfare is inherently heroic. So could this piece about government waste. The point is that they tend to only feel political when you disagree with them. But don’t let me or anyone else tell you that their content is unbiased. There is no such thing — that’s the most common lie content creators tell.”

              1. Why hasn’t anyone stabbed this man to death with a rusty screwdriver yet?

                1. How dare you talk about rusty screwdrivers and fail to mention the plight of racial minorities who have been stabbed with rusty screwdrivers! Clearly you are belittling the racial experiences of thousands of people because you don’t think they’re worth noticing. Everyone must think exactly like me, and therefore I can guess everyone’s motivations! If it weren’t true, I’d have to be some kind of arrogant shithead!

                2. FWIW — i also disagree with his attempt to explain po-mo thinking about ‘inherent bias’.

                  i think the idea is that “What” you choose to write about is always unavoidably political. No media can present every perspective…so you have to choose subjects.

                  *How* you write about things needn’t always be dripping with blatant “how-to-think-about-this”-ness.

                  And the idea ‘“what you don’t say'” is always a ‘strong political statement’? is a retarded misunderstanding.

                  1. IOW i think he should have failed whatever class he picked up his chomsky in.

                  2. *How* you write about things needn’t always be dripping with blatant “how-to-think-about-this”-ness

                    Not to mention also dripping with smug superciliousness stemming from an unwarranted sense of moral superiority.

              2. Good lord how can any normal person read that site?

                Listicles, nothing but listicles… gratuitous “fuck” this and that… OMG make it stop.

              3. *note =

                i note that the guy refers to multiple stories *in the attempt to specifically suggest that his publication represents a vast multitude of different political perspectives* (or at the very least, whatever bias he’s being accused of is exculpated by the occasional, “Uh, we didn’t shit as hard on X this one time as we’d normally do”-story….)

                ….. something he immediately follows with the claim that, ‘uh, but no one really does that anyway’.

                tho I do enjoy how the question of “why are you so fucking left-wing-pedantic-SJW all the time?” was responded to with a mini-lecture on inherent bias and relativist reader perceptions

                1. – i.e. “its YOU not us.”

                  1. “If you perceive us as political, well then you’re a right wing troll duh check your bias”

                    1. “Let me reword the question, what if I perceive you as an insufferable cunt instead?”

                  1. I think i’ve met him at one point. i used to hang out with a lot of UCB people (*DJ’d all their parties) and there were always comedy writers around trying to score with the slutty improv girls. (who deserved their reputation). They all sort of looked like him.

                    1. probably not. i don’t see any NYC connection.

                    2. This shitheel used an Asian name as a pseudonym, and lectures other people on their racial insensitivity? Classy.

    2. Well, given that the show is actually made by a progressive (and wannabe SJW who found he couldn’t please them enough), perhaps that was the intent?

  14. Your fucking tiny slice of the work just happens to be smashed with tons of shitty living bumpy monkeys. So I guess the rest of the world has to tolerate your .oooo1 percent dying and never ending crap about city smorgasbords normally walking the cluster dogs and fucking each other into new cities so all the new buildings that arise from this kinetic rainbow smashing brunt in the snow and wizard blizzard. Praise god, a fucking slice of humanity has to survive for real for once. And all the fucking news cycles run interminably like a pig stuck in the neck with a late knife. So it goes.

    Blizzards for the suburb massice puddle boobs == stop Murica and watch us, cousin. Fuck you. whatever.

    1. the dead were never respected ever, boys
      when the goddamn walls of bleeding white hail fallen
      the dead were the boys under the shawls of the bridges

  15. behind the blizzards lie the deep hell of strong firmaments built with masonic centuries
    curling fists never ending and loathing the society set apart by the storms of natural turbulence and individual pyramids.

    Mother nature is the ultimate individualist fucking all ideologies up the ass and vagina with her cock and fist, bitch.

    All bureaucratic violence has fucking nothing on tornadoes, blizzards tsunamis and space projectiles.

  16. Your MOtherfucking east coast massive collective shit fest snow hell means the earth doesn’t give a single goddamn FUCK about your goddamn gaia crap.

    earth is earth. human is human. space is space. math is math. mix all the letter matrix up and into the blender of alternative space travail… shit spitting out is humans lost, sort of pondering and plinking, lines of lights on green boards, and the scary part… lightnings of the connected gray masses. when the brains of a dying earth can play cards across an armadillo universe.


    The Bern’s ad starts with, “Let us be lovers…”
    Should’ve gone with Nirvana. “Rape me….”

    1. straff cleanse wands sweep burns the ghettos of clods hailing into the sweeping corners of stringent ponzie
      straff runs into the burgeon lasers sams
      streffing go bunnies lit up on their funky little bunny tails rockets and all the fucking bunnies ran into space on straff power and when FUCKING straff bunnies fall back into goddamn earth run bitches baby run baby bunny run

      Straff bunnies running space kill you dummy humans

      1. Howdy, Agile. The canvas is yours. Paint it like Jackson Pollack’s sheets after a wet dream.

        1. slit of prisons under the dark codeine wells prowl like running lions, llove

    2. Simon and Garfunkel? Gah.

      Hier is a better America.

      1. That’ll work. If he’s up against the Donald, maybe this?

        1. Hillary and Huma reply with a theme of their own.

          1. Needs more synthesizer.

            1. Are you implying there is an alternative music-making thing?

  18. music punches my head like an old rhino and my brains spill out like ball bearings into the butthole of my lover who is a sweet babe. she is a small asian riding a pirate ship and her arms have angry tattoos pointing to her universe of sails whipping like old nasty senators who don’t know JACK SHIT about riding a goddamn boat into a free space. FUCK earth. My s[aceship is slithering into the whithering clouds of hells cast off from a sun that never gave a single goddamn shit about silver spruces or tired Monday.

  19. if you eat time
    time becomes digested
    and your tunnels inside the dimensions we
    like to pretend are super important
    but time is about to meet your pooper
    and you shit time out your asshole
    and time pooped pops out and
    glances about and kills an angel and
    steals her wings right in front of the
    goddamn toilet! Angle murder!

    Time killed a bitch and stole her wings.
    and it farted and flew off into my anger.
    Because I am now going to kill this bitch, called Time.
    When I am done with Time, it will cry and scream.

    But if I beat the fuck out of Time…. Time beats Agile.

    Time beats us all. Agile can try and beat Time for minutes…
    but when townes Van Zandt died Time died. fuck Time. Time
    doesn’t give a shit about the alleyways of the upward glance.
    time is shady. shifting beneath the shifting bars, man

  20. all my morning dragons eat snakes and shit them into my assholes

    1. How many…

      No. As you were.

  21. my child broke my arm and I fell into the ruddy space of askance

  22. reverberations of fractures call ever so lightly the hells of soft earth pronunciations

  23. churn the oil of time amount the threads of the great boys and niche girls watch it coagulate the mind mine where the diamonds shatter from the butter of brain pies swerving the raining heavens and plutons.

  24. churn the oil of time amount the threads of the great boys and niche girls watch it coagulate the mind mine where the diamonds shatter from the butter of brain pies swerving the raining heavens and plutons.

  25. i fell as a boy very deeply and swam into a dark
    countenance of my lost brain fleeting amoing the
    lonely piled dirt ships of the scared places under
    the suns of merging times and wands

  26. agile loves his math leds called my sweet thread writers. agile hugs his reason treasures. Fucking cracking deep burlesque of pleasures but agile is tripping on acid and all the floors are ceilings and my FUcking fingers aretap buttons on old rocks and before i go I have no old rocks here man i am gone bro gone i will walk among rainbows an kind wizards love. should besweweet… fuccck there is that shimmer tunnel man see it duyoou.auujl;ad.kfkja’;ajf

  27. agile loves his math leds called my sweet thread writers. agile hugs his reason treasures. Fucking cracking deep burlesque of pleasures but agile is tripping on acid and all the floors are ceilings and my FUcking fingers aretap buttons on old rocks and before i go I have no old rocks here man i am gone bro gone i will walk among rainbows an kind wizards love. should besweweet… fuccck there is that shimmer tunnel man see it duyoou.auujl;ad.kfkja’;ajf

  28. Well, I considered mentioning some local ‘management’ of the news, but I think I’ll give it a shot tomorrow. Hope all you folks back east get to build snow ‘people of gender’, and Agile, have a ball!

  29. On the topic of Agile Cyborg: Don Hertzfeldt’s latest (and now Oscar nominated) short “World of Tomorrow” is on Netflix. He of Rejected fame. He makes fantastically weird, sad, poignant stuff. Take a few minutes out of your goddamn life folks and watch it!

      1. Yeah, that’s close to my understanding…

  30. Still cold and windy here, the snow hasn’t had a chance to melt off and in places the drifts are piled nearly a half inch deep. (Well, maybe a quarter inch – I may be exaggerating a little just so I don’t feel left out of the “a snowstorm ate my baby” thread. But I really did have some ice on part of my windshield this morning.)

    1. Hey, how are you gonna gripe to your grandkids about 6-foot drifts and uphill both ways to school? What kind of climate apologist are you?!

      1. There was frost on the lawn this morning. Frost.

        It’s a wonder Texas didn’t declare a state of emergency.

  31. Hmm. Looks like the blizzard slowed down.
    OK, according to the post-fact reports, SF had “thousands” of eddie-freaks demanding that no one else have abortions, since they don’t like them.
    I got it, heard the argument more times than I care to count. I don’t agree but I certainly accept that busing ‘thousands’ into SF to make that point is a valid exercise of speech; you get to make your point and you can also inconvenience me in doing so; that’s part of the deal. And indeed you did; it took nearly two hours to cross Market Street, as opposed to the 10-15 minutes normally.
    So now, here’s the point:
    The buses left 40 hours before they got here, and no one in the city gov’t or news media knew?
    It was X years after Roe/Wade, and no one in the city gov’t or news media knew?
    There were “thousands” here, and no one in the city gov’t or news media knew?
    Wife gets up, does her toilet while watching TV morning news. I get up, check the dead tree version(s) and web.
    I’m not prone to presume any conspiracy, but there was no warning anywhere of that protest that cut the traffic across the city in half, and there were porta-potties already in place.
    I’ll certainly entertain other views, but it seems the local news sources were run by a government who hoped there would not be a nasty confrontation a week before the Super Bowl.

    1. I’ve done my share of political protesting. (My share, and probably several others’, truth be told.) In my experience, mainstream media will do it’s best to bury any real information other than Why These BadThinkers Should Piss You Off (Number Four Will Shock You!).

      You’re fucking it up by asking questions. Keep this up, pal, and we”ll have to consider whether your chocolate ration couldn’t be put to more productive use.

    2. It’s the lead story on sfgate right now.

  32. Embrace the suck you warm weather pussies. =)

  33. OMG !!!! 2 inches of snow !!!! Shut down teh DC !!!!!! =D

  34. OMG !!!! 2 inches of snow !!!! Shut down teh DC !!!!!! =D .

  35. are there any it people still up? I haz a question

  36. are there any it people still up? I haz a question

    1. You could probably just throw your question out there and see what answers it nets later in the day.

      1. Maybe “are there any it people still up?” IS his question.

  37. NYPD: ‘We Will Arrest You’ If On the Road

    So the police can unilaterally declare martial law now, without the mayor?

    1. My mistake, the mayor and governor imposed a travel ban. Not sure why the governor gets involved in NYC modes of travel (?) I seem to recall that it was the governor who shut down public transit in the past, as well.

      1. Not sure why the mayor *or* governor get to impose travel bans.

    2. What in the fuck?

    3. There’s no chance of anyone being arrested for being on the road around here. There’s an 8 ft high snow drift in the middle of the road right out front.

      1. Forget it, they’re rolling.

  38. In SC this guy would have been shot brandishing a firearm like that regardless of who he alleges we works for…..

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