5 Ridiculous Products Advertised at the Adult Entertainment Expo

Sum poosie energy drink, anyone?

OK, so yesterday I assured you that my Adult Entertainment Expo updates would be serious and substantive. And some are! But this brief post I submit to you for purely juvenile-snickering purposes. Behold, some of the beautiful, absurd products advertised in AVN's main program book… 

Sum Poosie Energy Drink

Now available in 8.4 ounce cans! 

ENB/AVN Expo book

Sure Fuck Cologne (For Men) 

The women, obviously, wear "Fuck Me." 

ENB/AVN Expo book

Star Whores: Force Rising

Feel the force rise within you.

ENB/AVN Expo book

MISS On the Go 

"A new Kegel device complete with social media app." Because who doesn't want to connect with friends over vaginal strengthening exercises?

ENB/AVN Expo book

2 Girls Teach Sex

Complete with stellar tips like "If you give your woman orgasms, she will never leave you." 

ENB/AVN Expo book

Comments

[Loki]

Sum Poosie Energy Drink

Booty Sweat Pop an ass open!

[Francisco d'Anconia]

OK, so yesterday I assured you that my Adult Entertainment Expo updates would be serious and substantive.

You just keep doing what you’re doing, ENB. You can’t offend this bunch of degenerates.

[Crusty Juggler]

I beg to differ.

[Loki]

She can’t offend anyone who matters.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

You beg, alright, but not to differ.

[Crusty Juggler]

This morning there were people complaining about her being at Pornnaroo.

I’ll beg your differ.

[Episiarch]

We’re degenerates?!? What about that time I found you naked with that bowl of jello?

[Rasilio]

It was hot and I was hungry

[Francisco d'Anconia]

It was yet another in a long series of diversions in an attempt to avoid responsibility.

[Episiarch]

You see Mitch, I used to be you. And lately I’ve been missing me so I asked Dr. Hathaway if I could room with me again and he said sure.

[Lee G]

Have you been having the pickle dreams again?

[__Warren__]

Jerkin’ that gherkin!

[Episiarch]

This? This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Lee. This is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated.

[Lee G]

Do you mind if I name my first child after you? Dipshit G has a nice ring to it.

[Episiarch]

Lee, if you think that by threatening me you can get me to be your slave…well, that’s where you’re right. But–and I am only saying this because I care–there are a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market today that are just as tasty as the real thing.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

But can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?

[Episiarch]

Not right now.

[Lee G]

You’re going to run the day Epi.Rue the day!

[Episiarch]

“Rue the day?” Who talks like that?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

A guy’s gotta have his standards.

[Limpee Wiltstock]

my wife

[Limpee Wiltstock]

I mean, she uses that phrase, “rue the day”. Then there was the time she came up to me and said, “All I want from you is compliance!” She was pissed off about something, but no matter I couldn’t restrain it and broke out laughing. It didn’t help at the time. But in reminiscency it always cheers me up.

[Limpee Wiltstock]

Last time she threatened that someone would rue the day she crossed her was less than a week ago, for that matter.

[OneOut]

Limpee is such a good username to comment on this post.

[Crusty Juggler]

2 Girls Teach Sex

Complete with stellar tips like “If you give your woman orgasms, she will never leave you.”

The female orgasm is a myth, we all know that. Girls, smh.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

It’s a waste of time to even try.

[Rasilio]

On that last one I can agree that most men are utterly clueless on how to pleasure a woman, however the idea that if you can reliably give them orgasm’s they will be “addicted” to you, never leave and always want sex with you is pretty much bullshit

[Crusty Juggler]

You should write a “how to” manual.

[Rasilio]

Lol yeah unfortunately it won’t sell very well because the how to is basically …

1) actually care about and be interested in her pleasure
2) listen and pay attention, not just to what she says but to how her body reacts to the things you do

See the thing is that every woman is different and the things that will drive one woman to multiple screaming orgasms will be an instant turn off to another

[mad.casual]

2) listen and pay attention, not just to what she says but to how her body reacts to the things you do

I’ll accept point 1 as 100% being the guy’s fault, but I’m gonna have to put at least 50% of this on women (OK, young women, and that number may’ve changed in the last 15 yrs. or so).

At least, the number of women I know who will ‘grin and bear it’ to prove whatever to whomever when it comes to sex far exceeds the number of women who are capable of saying or doing something, anything, else. Women are the ones with the crazy head games that make it unacceptable in pretty much any circumstance, to ask someone if clenching or muscle tightening of any type is a sign of pain, enjoyment, or physiological anomaly.

The amount of time spent playing the ‘awkward/inexperienced guessing game’ is the reason No. 1 is an issue in the first place. It’s rather literally like one of those logic puzzles where you only get to ask questions intermittently and 1/3 of respondents mock you for asking, 1/3 won’t answer at all, and other 1/3 lie.

[Zeb]

Yeah, that sounds about right.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

/sarc

[Crusty Juggler]

the number of women I know who will ‘grin and bear it’ to prove whatever

You leave the women who are attracted to me alone.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Statistical outliers don’t count.

Especially when they’re in a vegetative state.

[Limpee Wiltstock]

Also, fucking isn’t nearly that important to women, at least not in the mystical, divine mystery sort of ballsblast it is much more commonly to men.

[Limpee Wiltstock]

I wish I could live in your world, Rasilio, instead of staying here taking the piss in a world of shit where your consejos are total bullcrap.

[Suthenboy]

“… if you can reliably give them orgasm’s they will be “addicted” to you, never leave and always want sex…”

Be careful what you wish for, or as my grandfather was fond of saying, hell is having your dreams come true.

[Limpee Wiltstock]

There seems to be small subset of menfolk that really wouldn’t mind that sort of nightmare dream coming true to them. I’ve known some.

[Limpee Wiltstock]

I remember when the topic of the female orgasm come up years back, one of my boyfriends says, “What’s the point?” and declared he was totally uninterested in it. While it’s true that most chicks can’t get hooked that way, there is a subset of females that are susceptible, it seems.

[Loki]

Star Whores

Kevin Smith was ahead of the curve.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Katie Morgan…yummy.

She’s perky and punctual.

[Swiss Servator]

So Epi’s….fragrances… finally made it to market, eh?

[Episiarch]

The’re pheromones! Take a biology class!

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I thought you had your scent glands removed so you could work indoors.

[Episiarch]

It didn’t take, much like Warty’s vasectomy.

[PapayaSF]

There were some pheromone-based fragrances marketed back in the ’70s. I suppose they didn’t work, or they’d still be around.

[Swiss Servator]

60% of the time, they worked every time?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Millions of booty calls saved or created.

[__Warren__]

Shovel-ready whores!

[Limpee Wiltstock]

“I suppose they didn’t work”

Yeah, because contrary to folktro, regular humans don’t come with pheromone detectors. We are men, not ants.

[Agammamon]

No! We are DEVO!

[AlmightyJB]

At bar, just looked up at TV and saw some black chick lying on a bed kicking some black dude off her. End of some clip for new 50 Shades of Black movie. That’s hilarious.

[AlmightyJB]

Insert obligatory immature comment about ENB demo’ing some product from show here. I have a reputation to keep.

[__Warren__]

One time when I took my car in for repairs the place next to the one I was at was called Johnson Alignment.

True story.

[Crusty Juggler]

In the spirit of fairness, I hope there is a “MR On the Go,” because I would like to work on my kegels with my friends, too.

[AlmightyJB]

OMG. Leave it to you Crusty.

[Crusty Juggler]

I’m crossing you off of the kegel-friend list, then. Got it.

[__Warren__]

Let’s go meet Jack and the girls down at the Regal Kegel!

[Swiss Servator]

*golf clap*

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

When you’re taking your morning leak, just start and stop 25 times. Same workout.

[Lee G]

That just happens naturally.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

That just means you’re in really good shape.

[Lee G]

Knew it. Stupid urologists and their prostrate exams don’t know anything.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

That, or you’re squeezing it way too tight.

[Suthenboy]

Is this accompanied by a severe burning sensation?

[Crusty Juggler]

I’ll bet you $50,000 that you do not know how kegel-sharing apps work.

Oh, I won! You can’t just pee every morning with the fellas. I want to begin the games by making it into a friendly competition with my bowling team.

[__Warren__]

The Pin Heads?

[Limpee Wiltstock]

Fuck, it takes all my concentration just to keep from getting a right angle bend in the stream.

[__Warren__]

America’s biggest bag of dicks getting sued.

[See Double You]

*Sigh* Stupid lefty millennial blaming everything on older generations.*

Do you understand basic climatology? Nearly all scientific research shows that if we don’t drastically change what we do, we’re headed for a catastrophe that will wipe out any chance of our financial system being able to function or exist.

Most corporations are not owned by millennials.

The economy, objectively, did tank in 2008. It’s not a matter of opinion. I don’t know of an economist who doesn’t think it tanked.

Shipping jobs overseas is bad because those were good paying jobs here and they were transferred to places that are paying their workers starvation wages and long hours in brutal conditions. It’s a lose-lose for the workers on both sides but it benefits the capitalists. It benefits them at the expense of the vast majority of people, who are not capitalists.

But please, continue supporting your corporate overlords. I am sure they appreciate it. Useful idiots come at no expense to profits.

*I’m also a millennial, but not a stupid leftist.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

We’re talking about something serious here. Focus.

[Lee G]

Which thing are we taking about? I couldn’t tell.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

DP and Epi’s anal scent glands.

[Lee G]

Worst porn ever

[Episiarch]

Scent?!?

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

Do you understand basic climatology?

Yep.

[Suthenboy]

I am always amazed at the wild-eyed, spittle flecked parroting of talking points by people who have no idea what any of what they say means. I have difficulty regarding these people as sentient and not walking, talking bobble heads.

[See Double You]

I shit you not, he wrote the following in support of his arguments:

Also it’s worth noting that more people agree with me here than disagree. For every one negative commentator there are like 20 people who liked what I said.

The context of our little argument is an article in The Economist detailing the plight of Millennials. Naturally, it attracted lefty Millennials like my new friend here, who assigned responsibility for his pains to the older generations. As another Millennial, I felt it was my duty to step in and show that generational collectivism is stupid.

[Suthenboy]

“For every one negative commentator there are like 20 people…”

Like really? Dude, you like just made yourself invisible to me, like really.

You are wasting your time debating with that person SDY. I can smell Critical Theory a mile away and that person is cemented in it. There is no argument, no evidence, no real-life examples, nothing whatsoever that will sway them.

I had one tell me to my face, without a clue about the implications of what they were telling me, “I can’t refute any of your arguments. I actually agree with all of them, but I can’t accept where they lead. There is nothing you can say that will get me to change my mind.”

It has been pointed out many times here, you can’t use logic and reason with someone whose beliefs aren’t based on logic or reason.

[See Double You]

When I argue with someone on a public forum, nine times out of ten I’m not trying to persuade that person, but others who can see our argument.

If anything, I had fun poking holes in his sophistry. Maybe I’m just a masochist.

[Suthenboy]

No, you are correct. A few will get it so it is worth the effort.

I think of critical theory, i.e. political correctness, environmentalism, feminism, race baiting etc. as the personality disorder of political philosophies. Remember the old saying ‘garbage in, garbage out’ regarding statistics, computers etc? Personality disorders are different. With them no matter what data you put in you get garbage out because their wiring is fucked up. The same is true for the adherents of any form of political correctness.

[Limpee Wiltstock]

I agree. In fact, as a matter of principle, I never agree with anyone on a public forum. Accord and consensus and not calling people names nor making a joke has never advanced the quantum of human wisdom.

[See Double You]

He then wrote:

I didn’t say that the fact more people agree with me than not gives any more or less weight to my argument. I simply stated a fact. It wasn’t part of any argument and you of all people, who have posited absolutely no argument whatsoever, shouldn’t be the one throwing around accusations of fallacy or faulty argumentation.

Get that? He was just stating a fact! Plus, you can’t point out a flaw in someone’s arguments without first making an argument about the underlying subject!

[GILMORE?]

There seems to be an almost universal belief among younger people that “Sophistry *is* Reason”

i.e. making a weak argument appear to be the better one is the “art of reason”, as far as they are concerned.

Rhetorical arguments replace any attempt to actually make claims about reality. The idea of any ‘reality’ not subjectively-defined is itself anathama to them (*which is sort of Suthern’s point i think)

Its like they never read the socratic dialogues, or were only shown them as an example of “everything wrong about dead white men and their interminable question-posing”

I say this because i’ve pointed it out before, and most have shrugged and seemed confused that there was supposed to be something wrong with it.

[Limpee Wiltstock]

‘There seems to be an almost universal belief among younger people that “Sophistry *is* Reason”‘

I don’t think it goes that deep. More often, they are simply practicing a quasirhetorical skill they’ve been conditioned to emit in response to certain stimuli and there’s no deeper purpose or philosophy behind it. Take some samples sometime and try to analyse them according to any traditional cognitive model, then see how well they fit Skinner’s VERBAL BEHAVIOR (I’ve often observed people for whom Skinner’s model perfectly fits everything they say or write. Some more sophisticated folks can have all their speech explained by Skinner’s theory elaborated by framing theory. Just about everyone worth talking to, however, nothing of importance they ever intentionally say is consistent with these models.). Even essays and what not are frequently much more consistent with Skinner’s model than anything else, which is rather in contrast to the written records we have of people just a few a generations past. I’m reminded of Fromm’s argument that learning theory took hold not because it was more consistent with human behavior globally but rather because it suited the way people were coming to behave currently, whereas in the past it would have been much less consistent with human behavior.

[GILMORE?]

I only ever read Walden II, so you lost me halfway.

[GILMORE?]

Reading the Wiki entry on VB, i might get an idea of what you mean.

I think this =

“i’ve pointed it out before [use of shallow, pathetic rhetoric rather than reason], and most have shrugged and seemed confused that there was supposed to be something wrong with i”

…may be that their reaction is based on the fact that *it works*.

i.e. – their methods, the use of fallacies, appeals to authority/emotion/consensus etc.- are *obviously* perfectly legitimate… because they’re functional. They work. And isn’t that the whole point in convincing someone of something? Who cares if the argument is “valid” or not? And who’s to judge anyway? Some old white man i bet.

many of the people i’ve spoken to about the subject seem entirely bored with the idea that an argument is good or not depending on its logical rigor and consistency, its ability to endure multiple tests with a variety of facts and conditions…etc. So what? If its not *appealing*, then it doesn’t matter because no one will like the result anyway. So it makes more sense to choose appealing conclusions and then dress them up with rhetoric.

[Cyto]

Yeah, if you get into an argument on Huffpo or Jezebel, you’ll be hard-pressed to find someone who would pass the Turing test.

So yeah, Skinner…. I get it.

[Limpee Wiltstock]

The whole monogram boilt down to “The state is all powerful and will bring in the New Earth if only we allow it and submit all agency to it and its fascist [corporate: here, censored before it can emerge from the lizard brain] appendages.” It gives the state a position remarkably similar to that given to the Almighty God of Armies by some.

[Zeb]

Yeah, the financial system couldn’t possibly exist if it were a little bit hotter. Why do these people always think that scientists can tell us anything about the appropriate ways to adapt or respond to climate change? Even if the science is settled, there is not a lot of reason to believe that there will be a real catastrophe or that any particular policy is a good idea.

[See Double You]

‘Cause scientists are noble (unless they’re funded by Big Oil) and profits are evil.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Digital Playground? DP is already taken, idiots.

[__Warren__]

Yeah, by baseball.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

You’re not that far off.

And I think about baseball all the time. It’s my secret to pleasing a woman.

[Lee G]

Margaret Thatcher on a cold day is an excellent choice.

[__Warren__]

Not when I imagine how hard her nipples would get when the bitter, frozen wind would howl across her ample bosom.

[Lee G]

You must be related to Crusty

[__Warren__]

YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

[Crusty Juggler]

Is my father disowning me for a second time?

[Zeb]

Squirrels playing in a kiddie pool full of mayonnaise.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Great, now I’ve gotta change my underwear.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Why would anyone care?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

“It should be illegal to be this good in bed”.

The only thing we’re missing is my credit card number?

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

OK, so yesterday I assured you that my Adult Entertainment Expo updates would be serious and substantive.

Elizabeth, you want us to keep reading them, don’t you?

[straffinrun]

I just use Salon titles as the namesfor my self produced pornos.

[__Warren__]

23 Reasons Why Libertarians Want To Kill Your Children was awesome.

[straffinrun]

Your welcome.

[straffinrun]

Yep, it works. “White people just don’t get it”. “Hide your kids from Carly Fiorina”. Today was especially nice.

[PapayaSF]

OT: Behold the Corvair-powered Isetta. Current bid on eBay: $19,500.

[SIV]

I’d wanna see a time slip

[OneOut]

The Chevrolet Chevette with a small block 357 ci. was the original small car with a big engine this article claims for the Isetts.

It was a screamer as you can imagine.

[PapayaSF]

And somewhat less of a deathtrap. I once rode in an Isetta. I have never been so continually anxious during a car ride. It was like traveling at 40 mph sitting on a dining room chair, with crash protection provided by half of a refrigerator door a few inches in front of your knees.

[GILMORE?]

There are far more respectable ways to die. That’s as bad as death-by-Segway. Which is how its inventor died

[PapayaSF]

He wasn’t the inventor, but he did buy the Segway company.

[GILMORE?]

Oh. Well, either way…. I feel the hand of God was involved.

[GILMORE?]

If you like that, you should subscribe to this channel, which covers nothing but “WTF Cars”

Like “Upside down truck” or “Hot tub cadillac” etc.

[PapayaSF]

Things like that make me proud to be an American.

[Always a Carl, Never a Clyde]

The Force Rising is quite entertaining, especially compared to the dreck usually passed off as porn parodies.

[Inigo Montoya, Micro-Aggressor]

“Poosie! Me want Poosie! Nomnomnomnom!”

/in my best Cookie Monster voice.

[Cdr Lytton]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdDFpM78zM0

[GILMORE?]

“yesterday I assured you that my Adult Entertainment Expo updates would be serious and substantive. “

Which no one believed for a second.

[Notorious UGCC]

Don’t worry, you did *some* business, the expenses are still deductible.

/not to be construed as actual tax advice

[GILMORE?]

“”A new Kegel device”

What does it mean that i don’t know what the “old” kegel device is/was. am i out of the game?

[Crusty Juggler]

Ben Wa balls, grandpa.

Related.

[GILMORE?]

Ahhhh. Right.

I remember the first pair of those i found, and how i was told to never play “Indoor Rug-Bocce” with them ever again

[Limpee Wiltstock]

Astonishing. I thought it was “Beno?ts” balls. But then, I worked for some time moving furniture before I realised that “jantra” was just th’hispanos fucking up th’English “handtruck” and not some special Spanish name for the thing.

[Quincy.]

Kegelcizer.

[GILMORE?]

Also = if that energy drink tastes like stale vagina, it will still taste better than Red Bull.

[Libertymike]

Hopefully, you only drank Red Bull once. Otherwise, you would be masochist. It is god awful.

Large Dunkin Donuts coffee, 1/2 a cream and two sugars, thank you.

[Suthenboy]

NO SHIT.

My wife loves that stuff. I just don’t get it.

Women also love avocado, artichoke, green olives, turnip….which makes me think their different metabolism makes things taste different to them than it does to me.

*Suthenboy’s sure-fire recipe for turnips: Carefully wash and trim all of your turnips. Place them in a plastic bucket. Take them to the clean end of the pig pen and dump them in. After doing this for a year or so, roast the pig.

[GILMORE?]

“avocado”

sort of tastes like ‘vegetabley-nothing’. I could never describe the flavor other than its texture and ‘green-ness’.

artichoke

Now that’s a man’s vegetable. Its got some medicine-y punch to it. If you don’t like steamed artichokes in a salad, or .,..those marinated italian ones … ma donna. they’re the shit dude.

green olives

Rancid and disgusting and do not understand why anyone would prefer them to Kalamata.

turnips i will refrain from judgement on because i can remember good ones, and bad ones, and most of the time find myself eating around them for no other reason than they just dont appeal to me.

[commodious spittoon]

Avocado is a good solid texture, but you’re right, very mild. I used to eat an entire fruit with a few pinches of salt.

Plus guac, which should be its own food group.

[Suell]

Indeed. And Castelevranos are the best olive on this planet, and green as a leprechaun’s trousers.

[GILMORE?]

I accept that i am not the widest-exerienced in olive-consumption. They had an olive-bar in my local grocery, and i’d try not to be too-obvious about my “tasting one from every barrel” (repeatedly) before actually buying any. But after a while i’d just buy the kalamatas because they just did the trick and i became narrow-minded.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

My local WF has 4 rows of olives in the salad bar area. 4 fucking rows. What a waste.

[commodious spittoon]

*GILMORE walks into grocerer’s, wanders amiably to the stack of hand baskets, jauntily grabs a handle, and proceeds past the self-checkout kiosks. A red-vested figure stalks after him. A scowling face appears over the cheese carousel, followed shortly by another red vest. As GILMORE passes the pasta aisle, a red vest takes note. Soon, the olives come into view. Soon, the showdown.*

[commodious spittoon]

I may be biased ‘cuz growing up avocado was a forbidden fruit, as in, if one is in the fridge, you are forbidden to touch it. And no you can’t ask for one at the grocery, they’re a buck apiece. Just wait till your dad hears how badly you’ve behaved today.

[Notorious UGCC]

Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle, it *is* a fruit!

I hadn’t known that.

I hadn’t known it was forbidden, either.

[commodious spittoon]

Okay, I’m probably regurgitating something I read here, but avocado is from an Aztec word meaning testicle. That much appears to be true, at least to judge by Wikipedia. But the source I read also claimed that, so close was the association between testicle and fruit, Aztec families kept their teenage daughters indoors during harvests. I couldn’t verify that part.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

They were 3 for a buck at the mexican supermarket the other day. Hass, not the shitty kind.

[commodious spittoon]

You’d think being a border state with Mexico like California, we’d have better prices here. They’re going for 0.88 per. Maybe I’ll pop my head in at the carniceria down the street.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Most of them are actually grown domestically during certain times of year.

If I end up going out to the desert this weekend, I’m going to stop at my secret spot to see if they still have a good deal. Last time, it was 7 for a buck, but they were small.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Testicles?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

One tablespoon of this per avocado, and you’re good to go.

[Limpee Wiltstock]

whenever I come on some turnips, they always begs to be eat. But Scots thistle taste just the same as artichoke and take zero work to grow and almost none in harvesting and processing. I don’t even bother with the fleurts. I just eat the stalks, which gts rund 3 cm acrossed, and just a wee skin on the outside that can get whacked off in a sec wi a glass knif and then you get big slaps of artichoke meat. The wings or whatever they called, the big spatulate light absorbing surfaces that sprout out from the rosette, they take a bit more effort to properly prepare, and they always got a kind of peculiar flavour. Only drawback is they need a tons of space, or else they won’t grow big enough, at least nigh to a squa metre. A glass knife is essentially, however, since f you got to enforce pressure to skin them, you going to slip up and get stuck, and a steel you going to be sharpening so much you’ll n ever get it through. Also essential for cutting fat f you got to do quantities like for making tallow and what not. The grease won’t stick to the blade, and it never gums it up.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Are you shitting on avocado?

[GILMORE?]

No, that would be given a neutral/overweight rating.

One of its main benefits is its neutrality. it seems to be why it mixes so well with spicey things. it neutralizes/balances.

Californians are so fucking touchy about their goddamn avocados.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

It’s very nutritious, unlike some of the more recent fad foods.

[commodious spittoon]

Staple for low-carb. I’m not even sure that’s true, but I used it as one.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

4% RDA for carbs, mostly fiber.

[Limpee Wiltstock]

I never been able to recognise them as food. And why fuck round with avocatos when there’s perfectly good animals lying round waiting to be kilt and eat?

[GILMORE?]

I like avocado the same way i love cucumber. a little salt and you’re good. But its not like it *tastes like much*. Its just creamy texture. It doesn’t have the richness of flavor that really allows to have any diversity of opinion about.

Its like Vodka. It doesn’t taste like much, the “good stuff” isn’t hugely different than the “average stuff”, and people who claim to be connoisseurs of it are generally assholes.

[Notorious UGCC]

Really? Vodka connoisseurs?

[Notorious UGCC]

I mean, I’ll take your word for it, it just sounds strange, is all.

[commodious spittoon]

Anyone who’s sipping vodka needs an Everclear colonic, ‘cuz it’ll do them about as much good.

Now, tequila… that’s a sipping man’s drink.

[GILMORE?]

They seem to have a strong-overlap with “Cokeheads”, which means they have no sense of taste at all.

Maybe that’s why – its the “mouthfeel” of the good stuff that’s different. the flavor is sort of ‘whatever.. its vodka’.

[Suthenboy]

Absolutely not. The turnip recipe works equally well with avocados.

[OneOut]

suthenboy you don’t like turnips ?

me has a sadz.

Turnips good and good for you too.

Turnip greens counteract modern bad food.

Turnips taste good roasted in pigs mouth also i admit.

But a good ole pot of turnips with greens long simmered with some meaty salted hog jowels for fat, flavor, and protein served with some sweet buttered cornbread are a meal unto itself. Must be served with some hot pepper vinegar sauce and a glass of cold buttermilk with fresh ground black pepper floating on top.

All of those hard to orgasm girls mentioned above will be cured if you feed them this in a romantic candle light dinner before you ask them if they want to fuck.

[Suthenboy]

Why have turnips when you can have potatoes? and why have turnip greens when you can have mustard greens?

Mustard greens, pork neck bones, garlic, chicken stock and yummy, yummy cornbread. The turnips are for the hogs. We shall get to that later.

[Limpee Wiltstock]

Simpler question I’ve thought before: why have turnips when you can have mustard? There’s really nothing to recommend turnips over mustard, and mustard’s got everything going for it. It always blows my mind to rediscover every springtime how fucking delicious fresh mustards are. It’s almost unbelievable. The other thing like that’s pigweed.

[Limpee Wiltstock]

And haply there’s some uses of turnips you can’t get out of mustards. But this is not true for broccoli. Anything you can do with broccoli, you can do as well or better with mustard stalks. And there’s that mustard is like a one time investment setting up a mustard patch, and therafter zero effort to grow in huge fucking quantities forever.

[commodious spittoon]

I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. Later, she left me.

Cunnilingus, not even once.

[Quincy.]

Is she the one who took your copy of Snow Crash? Typical.

[commodious spittoon]

Different one. I borrowed a copy pretty recently, though. Everything was like catching up with an old friend, except for the very end. Poor Uncle Enzo. I had forgotten about him.

[Quincy.]

Spoilers, man! I am midway through my re-read.

[straffinrun]

How is Agile not all over this thread?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

He has bills to pay. I’m still operating under the theory that he’s a safety inspector at a nuclear power plant.

[Quincy.]

Ten bucks says he retired comfortably at forty and is now a gentleman at leisure. At leisure to sample all the drugs known to man.

[GILMORE?]

I believe he’s said as much himself.

[Quincy.]

Shh, G. I’m trying to make some money here.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

In all seriousness, I thought he worked at the refinery in Lima.

[Quincy.]

Ah.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

So I could be right about the safety inspector thing.

[Quincy.]

That doesn’t need drugs, just bad systems exponentiating incompetence.

[Notorious UGCC]

“safety inspector at a nuclear power plant”

And he’s doing better than that last guy, what was his name? The bald guy? Virgil something.

[Notorious UGCC]

Anyway, he was named after one of those classical poets.

[Quincy.]

Phuelroddites?

[KerryW]

ENB is enjoying this series of articles way too much.

[Notorious UGCC]

I’m glad *someone* is.

[Domestic Dissident]

I still say that it may be a transgender, for the simple reason that I’ve never met a normal woman in my life who thinks about sex this much, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

I’m pretty sure that it’s an evolutionary biological thing, because if most of them did, we would never ever leave the house and actually get anything done.

[Notorious UGCC]

“…one of the most under-reported aspects of the Ukrainian revolution of 2013-14 was its intensely religious character, which reflected an intensity of ecumenical and inter-religious cooperation that was unheard of, previously, in Ukraine’s history. That inter-confessional solidarity continues today; it is one of the signs of hope during Ukraine’s 2016 Christmas-at-the-crossroads; and at the center of that solidarity are the leaders, clerical and lay, of the Ukrainian Greek Catholic Church [UGCC].

“Two of those leaders, Major-Archbishop Sviatoslav Shevchuk and the UGCC’s “foreign minister,” Bishop Borys Gudziak, are the heirs, by episcopal consecration and conviction, of the heroes of the UGCC in the twentieth century: the Venerable Andrey Sheptytsky; Cardinal Josyf Slipyj; Cardinal Lubomyr Husar….If Ukraine’s political leadership mirrored the courage and insight of its Greek Catholic leadership ? whose influence is considerably greater than Ukrainian demographics might suggest ? a country at the crossroads would, in the year ahead, find itself pointed in the right direction.

“The UGCC’s efforts to deepen and extend the revolution of integrity that triumphed on Kyiv’s Maidan in 2013-14 deserve the support of fellow-Catholics throughout the world: not least in the Vatican.”

[Quincy.]

How much you want?

[Notorious UGCC]

Could you be more specific?

[OneOut]

What’s with all the distractions ?

Let’s get back to the main topic .

Porn.

[Notorious UGCC]

“Major Archbishop Sviatoslav Shevchuk of the Ukrainian Greek Catholic Church has decried the practice of abortion, arguing that it has killed 10 times more people than his country’s ongoing war with pro-Russian rebels.

“How many new ‘Herods’ there are today, who not only kill children after their birth, but have gone further ? there are so many unborn children [killed] today,” Shevchuk said…during the Eastern celebration of Christmas, Catholic World News reported.”

[Sevo]

Unfortunately, that imbecile has no idea what the term “people” means, so he, like that fucking ignoramus you tried to defend this morning, should be ignored by anyone with an ID larger than their shoe size.
Sorry, eddie; you’re not that bright.

[Limpee Wiltstock]

Yeah, everyone knows, Ukrainians aren’t people.

[Sevo]

If you went to ANY trade show and found only 5 ridiculous things for sale, you were not looking.
And why is this an issue libertarians might find of interest? People buy what they want, regardless of a third party claiming the product to be ridiculous.

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