Jeb Bush

Jeb Bush Might Have Run the Worst Campaign in Modern History, Matt Welch Argues Tonight on Red Eye w/ Tom Shillhue

Watch Fox News at 3 a.m. ET


What's 82 seconds long, and should die in a fire? This video, by the money-burning super-geniuses who have helped propel Jeb! Bush all the way down to 4 percent in national polls:

As the bard once sang, this is the kind of awful, "professional" politics that ensures the survivors will envy the dead. Anyway, this ad, and the D.O.A. presidential campaign it aims to animate, is one of the many discussion points on tonight's Red Eye w/ Tom Shillhue on Fox News at 3 a.m., on which I co-panelize throughout.

Speaking of presidential politics, I appeared today on the great Warren Olney's KCRW program To the Point today, along with several other guests, to assess Barack Obama's last State of the Union address. It will perhaps come as little surprise that I was less charitable than the others.

NEXT: You Really Won't Believe This University Study Alleging Chocolate Milk Mitigates Concussions. And You Shouldn't.

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  1. Or Jeb might have been the worst candidate in modern history

  2. Or Jeb might have been the worst candidate in modern history

    1. Twice as bad as anyone else? Can’t be!

  3. the fucking only people who watch tv at fucking early ass morn are drug addicts, boozers- late night fuckers- and bitches who work at motherfucking refineries. And the rest of the goddamn NOTGKCEES are night owl rapers. This is all. No humans left, Welcho.

    1. Hey! I love you, AC, but don’t disparage refinery workers! It’s shitty work but it’s an honest job, unlike the assholes who get paid to come up with garbage ads for failed political campaigns. And politicians too.

    2. A poorly fitted respirator in an aromatic hydrocarbon-rich environment explains a lot.

  4. Jeb! is what the people want. More Jeb! More of the same Karl Rove/David Axelrod style of politics. Jeb!

    the money-burning super-geniuses

    At least they did not buy lottery tickets, because that is a real waste of money.

    1. i vote FUCKING bass Jugglin Jizzie crusts.

    2. For someone in Chino Hills, a lottery ticket was a good investment.

      1. I will be very annoyed if it’s my ex.

        1. Had to search; figured it was outside the valley.

  5. Worse than this?

    1. Maybe they should hire Granny.

    2. I thought Suthenboy said he was from Louisiana?

    3. Hey, if he’d get rid of gold fringed flags he’s got my vote for *president*!

  6. well all this pleasant stream of happy fire flies is busting into my head. Sweet.

  7. So shift ain not alien to fucking bitch on tunes arriving late, right? See how all that butter roll down my goddamn face and it all roll into my pants and all oer my sweet dick and mr agile becomes an agile butter cum biscuit when tossed gently into a sweet overn… see how agile uses his sexay butter self to capture ebony cuties for his carnival… oh yea… butter and sweets and oven-baked goodness is the trippy trip and some ebony chocolates come wandering over in their spaceships and land on daddy agile’s buttery goodness and they step off and survey the countencance of their experience and realize they’ve been dropped into the fucking swamp of pure pleasure and their ebony legs slop on the butter and and they slide into daddy’s mouth and my entire tongue massages the entirez of their skins and they sleepily roll over into the massages of daddy’s universe where daddy calls comets from the outs to ply the lovely skins of the ins… ebony chocolates end up sweet and lazy and sleepy, CJ. Space butter is sweet and papa agile has tons of space butter for his ebony chocolate pussies.

  8. He’s going to run the worst campaign with the awfulest ads in history all the way to the freakin’ nomination.

    That’s how these things work.

    1. I was dead set on a Clinton/Bush faceoff but both of them seem to be imploding in slow motion.

      1. I can only hope that Shrill is tanking. In SF, the line is (still?) heavily pro-Shrill.

        1. You’d better not hope that because the alternative is Unkle Gulag.

      2. It’s over for Bush but I don’t think Hillary is in real danger.

  9. If some libertarian-leaning Republican candidate had campaigned early by running against Jeb! he might be the frontrunner right now. Too bad he aligned with the establishment who despises him and stupidly attacked the clownish real estate magnate who usurped the vacant outsider role and put the boots -hard- to the idiot son and brother.

  10. I think it’s really cool there is $100 million in GOPe bucks devoted to taking out the only remotely viable establishment candidate. As far as Republican primaries go, this one is a thing of beauty.

  11. Red Eye w/ Tom Shillhue on Fox News at 3 a.m

    It’s still on? Does Fox just point the transmitter into deep space now, or are they finally marketing it as punishment for naughty children?

    1. Aw. Shillue’s no Gutfeld but it’s not total crap. I’m a little mixed about sending Levy back to being ombudsman, though.

      1. I though Gutfeld was crap?

  12. and Matt Melch looks like a stooge now after Bush has passed Rubio thanks to videos like the one above.

    How’s that Crow taste Matt?

    1. Winston, is that you?
      What crow dish is required?

      1. No it’s one of the rock-bangers that actually supports Trump. It thinks it’s clever.

  13. “A winning Powerball ticket was sold in SoCal”

    OK, one of you guys or gals is gonna get hit with some real contribution begging next year!

  14. You gotta figure the margin of error is +/- 2%, too.

    And half of the people who support him probably don’t even know why. For a lot of them, it’s just a name recognition thing.

  15. What I would like to know is why Jeb! goes by the name Jeb! when you would think his other name would be such a big asset given the fact that the last two presidents the GOP put in the White House both had that same name. Why Jeb!? Why not BOOOOOSH!!!

    Oh, right. Trying to ride on their coattails would tend to put you rather close to their stinky parts, wouldn’t it? And they got a lot of very stinky parts.

  16. OT: awful events in Jakarta, but I’m relieved three suicide bombers and some gunmen only managed to kill less then 10. For context, the Bali bombings of 2002 killed just over 200.

    1. Well, that’s the thing with Islam though, it’s not going away. They’ll be more attacks. Probably one every day or two. And it’s only going to get worse

  17. Not just the campaign, he’s a terrible candidate.

    He has zero charisma, he’s like Gary Johnson in that when he opens his mouth, you immediately feel drowsy.

    He’s a complete pussy. He makes Urkel look like a badass in comparison.

    His name is Bush.

  18. My last pay check was $9500 working 12 hours a week online. My sisters friend has been averaging 15k for months now and she works about 20 hours a week. I can’t believe how easy it was once I tried it out. This is what I do..

    Clik This Link inYour Browser…….

    ? ? ? ?

  19. My last pay check was $9500 working 12 hours a week online. My sisters friend has been averaging 15k for months now and she works about 20 hours a week. I can’t believe how easy it was once I tried it out. This is what I do..

    Clik This Link inYour Browser…….

    ? ? ? ?

  20. Jeb Bush’s incompetency as a presidential candidate is a total tribute to the cabal that runs American politics, Dem and GOP. It is about power and wealth for the cabal who tap the greatest wealth reserve ever on earth.

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