Record Highs for Christmas, Snow in California, Arrests at "Black Christmas" Chicago Protests, San Diego Police Seek 400-Pound Bearded Woman: A.M. Links

• 

  redwineandpeonies.com

  Record high temperatures were recorded yesterday in New York City and across the Eastern seaboard, but there could be snow in parts of southern California today.

• Two people in Chicago were arrested after clashing with cops during "Black Christmas" protests.
• Other tourists had to move to the side as President Obama and his security entourage hiked up Hawaii's Koko Head Crater Stairs during his Christmas vacation.
• Robert Downey, Jr. was among 91 people pardoned by California Gov. Jerry Brown for "exemplary behavior," and will have his voting rights restored.
• More than 100 people were killed in Nigeria when a gas tanker truck caught fire.
• Police in San Diego are seeking a 400-pound beared woman wanted in a stabbing.

New at Reason.com:

Brickbat: Reason for the Season by Charles Oliver

Admit It. You Just Want Your Own Dictator Calls for "leadership" are unsavory, dangerous, and un-American. by David Harsanyi

Regulation a Sure Bet for Fantasy Games California attorney general asked to clamp down on online sports games. by Steven Greenhut

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

Merry Holidays!

[Juvenile Bluster]

A happy federally-mandated holiday to you too, Fist.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Hello.

Wow. Reason is just full of surprises.

Merry and all the best blah, blah, blech.

[Smilin' Joe Fission]

Merry Christmas Rufus!

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Be good in T.O.

[d3x / dt3]

And Fuck You, Cut Spending to you!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Two people in Chicago were arrested after clashing with cops during "Black Christmas" protests.

As long as they mattered.

[Old Man With Candy]

It's OK, I bailed Nikki out.

[Swiss Servator]

Hey?! I thought she was going to take down the system from within?

[Adans smith]

No,she went DOWN on the system.

[AlmightyJB]

"Black Christmas"

It's called Kwanza racist.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

It's actually Kwanzaa, with two a's for a double-dose of its Africa.

Personally, I think it's racist to end it with two A's because it doesn't make sense and wookiee ends with two E's and they're pretty much space negroes and people call Michelle Obama a wookiee because she's big and black.
-some university professor somewhere

[AlmightyJB]

And then there is this. Although I don't think she mentioned the torture this year.

http://www.anncoulter.com/colu.....#read_more

[Ted S.]

Black Christmas
I gave you my heart,
But the very next day
You gave it away.

[Mr Lizard]

Merry Christmas stoopid mammals!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Other tourists had to move to the side as President Obama and his security entourage hiked up Hawaii's Koko Head Crater Stairs during his Christmas vacation.

The president is used to playing through.

[Rhywun]

They should be grateful he allowed them to momentarily bask in his presence.

[Swiss Servator]

MAKE WAY FOR THE NOBLE AUGUSTINIAN PRESENCE!

[Atanarjuat]

Just the sight of his presidential glutes flexing in mom jeans as he ascended before them is all the Christmas present they'll need this year.

[Jerryskids]

During his Christmas vacation. How many of his security entourage were enjoying Christmas with their families, do you suppose? Being allowed to work for the President several thousand miles from your home and your family during the holidays is it's own reward, I guess. You can always send the wife and the kids a postcard.

[Suthenboy]

I wonder what the percentage of married men to unmarried men is for President Twink's hand picked security detail.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Fuck those guys. They're volunteers and they'll end up drawing 75% of their salary per year in retirement when they turn 50...on my dime.

Besides, they're probably balls deep in a whore every other night down there anyway, if history is an indicator.

[Mr Lizard]

" they're probably balls deep in a whore every other night "

I would be ok with every federal worker were so distracted.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Even when you're paying the per diem?

I'd be ok with it for the ones writing laws and regulations. Not the ones tasked with a legitimate security function.

[JeremyR]

There was a story about how GWB didn't leave Washington until after Xmas so everyone associated with him could enjoy holidays at home

[Fist of Etiquette]

Robert Downey, Jr. was among 91 people pardoned by California Gov. Jerry Brown for "exemplary behavior," and will have his voting rights restored.

Iron Man is on the side of registration. BOOOOOOO!

[Mr Lizard]

Now your just running up the score. Let some other creatures post

[Fist of Etiquette]

You've had six minutes and look at all you've come up with.

[Mr Lizard]

I'm trying to cook spicy maple sausage patties!

[AlmightyJB]

Try an indoor smoker with hickory and apple.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Taking bets on a relapse. Anyone?

'Downey gets baked celebrating pardon; Resisted arrest shouting, 'Iron Man is actually made of tin!'

[Fist of Etiquette]

Police in San Diego are seeking a 400-pound beared woman wanted in a stabbing.

What's Chaz Bono done now?

[Swiss Servator]

*slow clap*

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Wait, I thought that was a dude because he calls himself one.

So confusing.

[Adans smith]

True story,there's a very heavy ,hairy women that works the weigh station gate at the local landfill outside Parrkersbug WV across river form me.I had to warn a friend not to laugh once the first time he went with me to dump trash in my truck.The smell there didn't help.

[Ted S.]

I've never seen a weigh station that's actually been open as I passed it.

[Tejicano]

Why, she is so huge people refer to her in the plural.

[Jimbo]

"Has anyone seen my fat, bearded lady?"

- P.T. Barnum

[Lord Rollingpin]

Wooo! Christmas day Links! Now we just need the mistletoe.

[juris imprudent]

No sign of Crusty or Warty, so mistletoe might be safe.

[Jimbo]

They're soaking in it!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Record high temperatures were recorded yesterday in New York City and across the Eastern seaboard...

Some got AGW in their stockings this morning!

[Derpmaster General]

I'm in Chicago and have barely needed a jacket, I'm not complaining.

[Old Man With Candy]

Ditto, and I've been wearing a stained t-shirt, just to frighten the kids even more. "Mommy, that old man has BOOBS!"

[Swiss Servator]

*shudders*

[Ted S.]

I figured you celebrated Christmas by donating to Sex Toys for Tots.

[Rhywun]

Heavy fog in southern Brooklyn - it's a white Christmas!

[sloopyinTEXAS]

It's a white Christmas in Brooklyn anyway because you ran the real people out by hiking rents, you cracker-ass motherfucker!
-Spike Lee

[Swiss Servator]

*opera applause*

[Rhywun]

Let me narrow my gaze, then.

[Krabappel]

It's a real gray Christmas in Virginia. Gray, but a high in the 70s, so I'm not complaining.

[Mazakon]

Record high temperatures were recorded yesterday in New York City and across the Eastern seaboard, but there could be snow in parts of southern California today.

Gaia got into too much eggnog.

[Fist of Etiquette]

"Thanks for your service, Mr. President," the man says in a video posted to the My Kailua Facebook page.

"Legalize it on your way out!" he adds as Obama walks away.

He generally doesn't legalize things so much as try to ban them.

[Juvenile Bluster]

What, you expect our government to give *up* power?

[sarcasmic]

Police in San Diego are seeking a 400-pound beared woman wanted in a stabbing.

John would.

[Derpmaster General]

Every year someone tells me Elf is the best Christmas movie ever. Every year I end up using a staple gun to affix copies of Christmas Vacation and Die Hard to these people's bodies.

[Swiss Servator]

+1 jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Feel free to add Home Alone in case they have young kids. That movie was just a shade beneath the others, which are pure awesome.

[pogi chips for liberty]

Wrong. Bad Santa is the best Christmas movie ever. The unrated cut.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

Bad Santa is right up there. But no way in hell is it better than Die Hard.

[pogi chips for liberty]

Die Hard is good but, "Yippie Ki Yay, Motherfucker", can't hold a candle to just this one scene:

Gin: Look here, get him outta here and I'll go smooth things over with Chipeska, Tell him it was food poisoning or something.
Marcus: What do you mean, get him outta here?
Gin: Take him to the car.
Marcus: In case you didn't notice I'm a motherfucking dwarf, so unless you got a forklift handy, maybe you should lend a hand, hmm?
Gin: That figures. You want all kind of set-asides. Special treatment 'cause your handicapped. You're all the same.
Marcus: Special treatment? I'm 3-foot-fucking-tall you asshole! It's a matter of physics. Draw me a sketch of how I get him to the car, huh?
Gin: Bitch, Bitch, Bitch!
Marcus: Sketch it up, you fucking moron. Fucking Leonardo da Vinci.
Gin: What'd you call me thigh-high?
Marcus: I called you a fucking guinea homo from the 15th-fucking-century, you dickhead!
Gin: I could stick you up my ass, small fry.
Marcus: Yeah? You sure it ain't too sore from last night?
Gin: You got some lip on you midget.
Marcus: Yeah? Well these lips were on your wife's pussy last night. Why don't you dust that thing off once in a while? Asshole!

[Red Rocks Rockin]

That's a funny scene, but the whole conversation before "Yippee-Ki-Yay" in Die Hard is what sets up the line and gives it punch. Not to mention that McTiernan spent the entire movie mocking the FBI and LAPD as a bunch of incompetent, chest-beating buffoons. That alone puts it above Bad Santa in my opinion.

[Ted S.]

The Bishop's Wife.

[Mendelism]

Gremlins

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

This bizarre weather is really starting to creep me out. 17 degrees celsius here. 17! In Montreal?! We're gonna get slammed somehow.

[Derpmaster General]

There's no canada like french canada, it's zee best canada in the land....

[Fist of Etiquette]

No one here knows what "17 degrees celsius" even means.

[Juvenile Bluster]

It's about 290 kelvin.

[AlmightyJB]

Or cares

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Not even on Christmas you guys can be nice.

[Swiss Servator]

I care.

Here, have a box of Timbits.

[Steve G]

Can I haz bag o' milk to wash down?

[AlmightyJB]

We can be. We just choose not to. Merry Christmas Rufus:)

[gaoxiaen]

Here in Taiwan, it means dress like an astronaut.

[Hank Phillips]

61?F is 16?C and as the Celsians go up or down by fives, Farengi gringos go up and down by nines. For small differences, that's close enough to double. So 17 being one more than sixteen makes the Farengi equivalent close enuf to 63. That's the exchange rate approach to temperature conversion translators use.

[Ted S.]

Isn't the bigger problem Celsius degrees?

[Tejicano]

"Police in San Diego are seeking a 400 pound beared woman..."

Um, OK. Are they trying to say she was bearing - as in "carrying" - 400 pounds of something?

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Maybe she was raping Leo DiCaprio.

[Swiss Servator]

GAH!

*frantically tries to think of something else*

[gaoxiaen]

She's bearing her own weight.

[RAHeinlein]

More po-po nonsense in Iowa:

http://time.com/4161284/officer-gun-quick-draw/

[Fist of Etiquette]

He may be disciplined, and the incident will undergo a "very thorough review," a spokesman for the police force told the Register.

He likely will, and it won't be a Christmas miracle. Not disciplining officers for unwarranted violence on civilians allows them the retain that power. This fuckup was a public embarrassment, however. They don't like those things.

[Tejicano]

Shipdit, 23 year-old cop playing fast-draw fires a round in an airport office. If his supervisor really has good reasons to keep this dangerous fool on the force I hope they Barney Fife him - give him only one bullet and make him carry it in a buttoned shirt pocket - for a year. Every time he complains how dangerous it is for him to be practically unarmed they should point out that he has proven himself to be more dangerous to the public than the other way around.

[Heedless]

He was just showing Carve how his trigger pull was light.

[Ted S.]

Any non-cop would be rotting in jail.

[Hank Phillips]

Yep. Adam Smith called it the violence of law.

[gaoxiaen]

That's why Barney only gets one bullet.

[Smilin' Joe Fission]

Merry Christmas all! Currently have a fire going with the window open to keep the house from getting too hot... in Canada!

[Swiss Servator]

I thought hot was outlawed in Canada?

[Ted S.]

Why would they outlaw hot?

[Hank Phillips]

Just a high tariff on it.

[Sevo]

Drew the short straw, didja, Ed?

[Swiss Servator]

"OK, who is up for Crimbo duty?.... Ha, it is you, Ed!"

/Jacket

[Tejicano]

OK, x-mas related question to all those with offspring.

When you are putting together one of those LEGO kits - like a Star Wars Imperial Assault Carrier - do you glue the parts together? I mean, these kits aren't really like a box of generic LEGO blocks to be assembled however your imagination leads you. And once you finish the toy that the kit is intended to be built into it seems to make sense to have it permanently held together rather than having to occasionally figure out where this little grey piece fell off from. Ideas?

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Two words: SCOTCH. TAPE.

[Tejicano]

I've been using the Scotch word. Not sure how well that will blend with the Tape word.

[AlmightyJB]

If you drink scotch you'll know everything and won't feel the need to ask questions.

[gaoxiaen]

Blends well with rocks or soda.

[Swiss Servator]

That is your answer to everything!

[AlmightyJB]

No glue. First you put it together. Then you destroy it. It's an Imperial Assault Carrier for God's sakes!

[Tejicano]

When we get to the destruction phase I believe that all that C-4 I stuffed into the blocks will do its job with or without glue.

[AlmightyJB]

Ah treachery, deceit, and sabotage! I approve.

[Rhywun]

I mean, these kits aren't really like a box of generic LEGO blocks to be assembled however your imagination leads you.

I think I see where things went wrong.

[Tejicano]

Not sure how to forbid the father-in-law from buying presents for his grandson.

Well, the truth is that I don't expect my wife will go along with the methods that come to mind.

[Krombopulos Carl]

Something about gluing Legos disturbs me. DIDN'T YOU SEE THE LEGO MOVIE? (You should, BTW)

Anyway, FWIW, as much as a lot of get-off-my-lawn geasers here like to bellyache about sets draining creativity or some nonsense like that, I often modified my sets when I was a kid; I would want to leave that possibility open, personally.

[Tejicano]

Ah, here is a reason I can understand and support. Need to allow for either or both of my boys the capacity to transplant parts or features from other kits when that time comes.

[Rhywun]

Agree - let the kid squeeze what creativity he can out of those one-trick ponies.

[AlmightyJB]

Rhianna's Shut Up and Drive video much better than Lego movie. Movie was pretty good though.

[gaoxiaen]

An imperial Assault Carrier with a Splorch?

[Jerryskids]

Being familiar with many kids and many Lego kits, I can assure you I have never seen a Lego creation more complicated than an L-shape the kids will pretend is a gun. Lego kits, as far as I am concerned, are a retail scam on the order of fruit baskets and decorative hand towels and Hallmark figurines - they aren't really meant to be used, they're just a way to say, "Here is a gift to let you know I was thinking of you, and now you know exactly how little I think of you."

[Akira]

Dunno, man. I think that varies from one child to another. I know that when I was a kid, everyone my age would explode with glee over a Lego set, both for the fun of building the set, and the possibilities of taking it apart whenever you get tired of it and adding the pieces to the general Lego collection, where they can contribute to future creations.

My brother and I used to grab at all the presents under the tree and frantically shake each one to see if it was Legos. It got to the point where our mom would 1) put handfulls of our Legos into the boxes to fool us into thinking they were Legos, and 2) hide the actual Lego sets somewhere in the house and put them in under the tree late at night on Christmas Eve.

[gaoxiaen]

A fruit basket is better than flowers. The flowers you can't smoke, anyways.

[AlmightyJB]

Happy Dies Natalis Solis Invicti assholes. Merry Christmas Ed.

[Swiss Servator]

Natalie Solis died happy with an incivil asshole?

/confuzzled

[AlmightyJB]

It's Latin you heathen. It means let's all get drunk and have an orgy. If only there were some libertarian women.

[juris imprudent]

With no libertarian women, shouldn't you be putting it in Greek instead of Latin?

[Ted S.]

Reason won't let him type that many foreign characters.

[gaoxiaen]

Or putting it in Geek.

[yet another dave]

Enjoy Rufus, it's -27? c in S'toon, at least we're saving the world from global warming....

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

You live near Corner Gas?

[Pat (PM)]

This Day in History

1066 - William the Conqueror was crowned King of England.

1776 - George Washington crossed the Delaware River and surprised the Hessians.

1868 - President Andrew Johnson granted an unconditional pardon to all persons involved in the Southern rebellion that resulted in the Civil War.

1926 - Hirohito became emperor of Japan.

1977 - British film actor, director, and producer Charlie Chaplin died in Switzerland at age 88.

1989 - Former Romanian president Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife were executed.

1991 - President Mikhail Gorbachev resigned following the disintegration of the Soviet Union.

[Swiss Servator]

Spread, spread Delaware...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbRom1Rz8OA

[AlmightyJB]

I think you're forgetting something

[Jimbo]

Was it something that happened before 1066? I'm drawing a blank...can you be a little more specific?

[gaoxiaen]

That happened on September 3.

[Galactic Chipper Cdr Lytton]

It's not very Christian of me to say this but the Romanians had the right idea with how to deal with their Communist dictator.

[thrakkorzog]

America. We will kill you in your sleep on Christmas.

[DenverJ]

You know who else surprised the Hessians?

[Mendelism]

Wyclef Jean?

[Pat (PM)]

Watching A Very Sunny Christmas and what to my wondering eyes should appear but A.M. Links. Ed, you are truly a mensch.

[Pat (PM)]

Also, this is my first time using the mobile site (the epoxy is drying on a laptop repair). Aside from my shitty touchscreen typing skills, it's not as bad as I would have expected.

[Steve G]

So how long until the gun grabbers go after A Christmas Story for promoting GUN KULTUR!!!1! ?

[Pat (PM)]

Oh, and of course, Merry Fucking Christmas

[Galactic Chipper Cdr Lytton]

but there could be snow in parts of southern California today

Silly Ed. Doesn't he know it never snows in southern California?

[sloopyinTEXAS]

That's RAIN.

Albert Hammond is gonna punch you in the face.

[Ted S.]

Whoosh.

[sloopyinTEXAS]

Oh. Oooooooooooohhhhhhhhh!!!!!
/channeling Edith Bunker

[Pompey]

Ed, you're a real prince, you know that?

[Jerryskids]

My nephew got his boys their first BB guns and man, I realized that at their age I already had a couple of .22's and a shotgun and a Dad who would beat my ass if he caught me being dangerous with them. Exasperating to have to explain to them the basic ideas about not walking around with your finger on the trigger, keeping the muzzle pointed at the ground , don't be shooting at the squirrels on the shed roof or anywhere in the direction of the shed or the house or the car or your brother and sure as hell don't stand there arguing with me "don't worry, it's not loaded and the BB can't go that far, anyways" because I will beat your ass.

[juris imprudent]

[sniff] now that's how you're supposed to celebrate Christmas!

[Je Suis Reason (Fmr. AuH20)]

Wishing everyone a very safe space this year-end, patriarchal replacement of a pagan holiday that is just another in the long list of atrocities committed against indigenous peoples and religions committed by white men.

...

But seriously, Merry Christmas all, unless Hanukkah is your thing, in which case I hope that went well. And I'm sure some of you are weird, brew your own mead, and listen to death metal, so a blood-curdling solstice to you, and may the bones of orphans crackle loudly underneath your feet as tribute to Odin.

[Knarf Yenrab!]

Police in San Diego are seeking a 400-pound beared woman

I've been on that hooker's waiting list for months, and those damn cops can just wait their turn like everyone else.

[Medical Physics Guy]

Merry Christmas reasonoids. I know this story will tug on your heart strings. Won't you put a little change in the adjunct's cup in the name of holiday spirit. #stemftw

http://on.fb.me/1PosuhI

[buybuydandavis]

"Other tourists had to move to the side as President Obama and his security entourage hiked up Hawaii's Koko Head Crater Stairs during his Christmas vacation."

I hoped they remembered to avert their eyes from His Majesty as well.

[buybuydandavis]

"Police in San Diego are seeking a 400-pound beared woman wanted in a stabbing."

Just exercising her right to bear arms.

ba dum bum.

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all century.

[The Knuckle]

Beared woman? Is that like getting schlonged?

[Muzzled Woodchipper]

Other tourists had to move to the side as President Obama and his security entourage hiked up Hawaii's Koko Head Crater Stairs during his Christmas vacation.

A true man of the people.

[JoWaDat889]

I dont think slam dunky is going to like that at all man.

http://www.GoneAnon.tk

[Hank Phillips]

So... does Downey get his Second Amendment rights restored after his spree as a victimless thoughtcriminal?