Is Your Kid a Terrorist? Watch for the Warning Signs!

A UK government pamphlet tells parents to watch out if their teen shows "mistrust of mainstream media" or appears "angry about government policies."


Watch out! He's reading Reason!
Camden Safeguarding Children Board

Worried your child might secretly be turning into a terrorist? The Camden Safeguarding Children Board, a local government agency in London, has published a pamphlet for you. Keeping Children and Young People Safe from Radicalisation and Extremism: Advice for Parents and Carers lists some of the warning signs that you—yes, you!—might have an extremist under your roof.

Some of these signs, the authors note, "could describe general teenage behaviour." So if your kid has been "losing interest in previous activities and friendships" or "switching screens when you come near," you needn't fret unless it's happening "together with other signs." On the other hand, the "following signs are more specific to radicalisation":

  • "Owning mobile phones or devices you haven't given them"
  • "Showing a mistrust of mainstream media reports and belief in conspiracy theories"
  • "Appearing angry about government policies, especially foreign policy"

If that's been going on, you might want to check out the kid's Web search history, find out more about his friends ("and their families"), and, if "you feel there is a risk that your child may leave the country, take precautions such as keeping their passport in a safe place and reducing their access to money." The pamphlet also helpfully provides the number of the local "police prevent engagement officer."

Back in July, British Prime Minister David Cameron called for a national push against "extremism," including those elements who don't support violence but "promote other parts of the extremist narrative." I guess this was the sort of thing he had in mind.

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  1. You know what’s a great way to dissuade conspiracy beliefs? Spying on your kid, confiscating their belongings, and reporting them to the authorities.

    1. You sir, are a good citizen of the state. Rest assured, your child has been sent to the luxury class gulag. Your daily gruel rations have been doubled, comrade. Keep up the good work.

      1. Uh, I’m pretty sure he was being sarcastic.

        1. I’m pretty sure he knows that.

        2. Of course I was being sarcastic. You think I’m going to turn my own kid in? He’ll turn around and narc on me!

          1. Sarcasm? Yeah, that’s real useful.

  2. Yep, I would have been a terrarist in high school by those criteria (except the phone thing. Only rich Wall Street guys had mobile phones in the mid- to late-80′). I gave a speech about abolishing the National Endowment for the Arts, and argued that Invictus wasn’t at all extremist, and was a perfectly lovely poem.

    1. Invictus is one thing, but abolishing the NEA? You go too far…

    2. I think just about every kid would be a terrorist by those criteria.

  3. My son is 4 and loves Minecraft. He talks a lot about TNT…

    *eyes widen, runs home to stop terrorist son*

    1. My son and daughter play together. One time they tried to get enough TNT to blow a hole through the world. The pile they built up was so big it almost crashed his computer when they set it off.

      1. I’m not really sure what my son does, he’s 4 so he probably just throws blocks all over the place and blows them up.

        Watching him play makes me feel dizzy and nauseous. #oldman #notwithcandy

        1. My kids are 15 and 20, they come up with some pretty elaborate destructive designs.

          I think one time they were trying to round up a bunch of the exploding cactus things to see if they could get a bigger bang than the TNT.

      2. You’re a terrible parent for not providing your children with enough ram for their simulational needs.

        1. Just download some more and you’ll be fine.

  4. We’re all terrorists now… or something something like that

    1. Sign me up for the jihad. Allahu Babar!!!

      1. I thought you were supposed to shout Admiral Ackbar!!!

          1. All of a sudden, Star Wars makes sense, even the prequels.

            1. that, sir, is a bridge too far!

  5. “Owning mobile phones or devices you haven’t given them”
    “Showing a mistrust of mainstream media reports and belief in conspiracy theories”
    “Appearing angry about government policies, especially foreign policy”

    These things start with good intentions: Governments are worried about homegrown terrorists- kids of immigrants or refugees being radicalized etc. And unfortunately you can’t single out any particular group, religion or race as being more or less prone to it. But then when it comes to the practice of getting a handle on it, the actual plan always comes out utterly retarded.

    1. I think you’ve hit on something. They would get butchered if they tied any of these directly to radical Islam by saying thinks like distrustful of governments policies in the middle east or towards cross cultural inclusion. If they make it specific enough that it doesn’t just apply to every teenager ever then it will be accused of calling all Muslims terrorists, so it ends up being entirely useless and obviously stupid.

      It’s a shame. It seems like a lot of these parents of terrorist realize their children are going bug nut crazy, but they haven’t a clue in the world how to stop it. Helping a parent out on their request when their kid starts trying to join a violent cult seems like one of the few reasonable extensions of the police power.

      1. But a parent who actually tried to help would be likely t trouble for hirself from both the authorities & terrorists.

    2. These things start with good intentions:

      +1 paved road

      1. Hey, even I started out with good intentions this morning…

    3. “and unfortunately you can’t single out any particular group, religion or race as being more or less prone to it.”

      Well, you can, it’s just that the religion of Equality will jump up your ass if confronted with facts that contradict its demented worldview.

  6. The following could describe general teenage behaviour but together with other signs may mean the young person is being radicalised:

    Secretive behaviour and switching screens when you come near.


    1. At my house, that’s called ‘batin’.

      1. “Mom! Don’t you ever knock?!”

        1. “Son, are you watching the pr0n again?”

          “No mom, I’m talking with my radical jihadist frirends about how to kill the infidels”

          “Ok, well do your homework and remember, no Pr0n!”

          1. Is that a jihad in your pocket?

  7. Yes, let’s war against a generic “extremism” without giving a name to what they’re *actually* worried about.

    “‘Extremism’ is where someone
    holds views that are intolerant
    of people who are of a different
    ethnicity, culture, religion, gender
    or sexual identity. It also includes
    calls for the death of members
    of the armed forces, both in this
    country and abroad. Extremists
    may try to force their views on
    others and in some cases, may
    believe that these views can
    justify the use of violence in
    order to achieve certain aims.”

    So, just to be clear, extremism can come from anywhere, and there is no special danger from, let’s say, Islamic militants. No, it could be anyone enticing your teen into a life of extremism – Jehovah’s Witnesses, whoever.

    And there are all sorts of intolerance – which can include everything from killing British soldiers to saying that Justin Bieber’s music is gay. And forcing your views on others *may* – but need not – involve violence.

    So whether they’re asking your kid to move to Syria and kill British soldiers in the name of Islam, or whether they’re asking them to join the youth branch of UKIP, extremists are everywhere, and you need to keep a sharp lookout.

    1. “It also includes calls for the death of members of the armed forces, both in this country and abroad.”

      I don’t think this correctly expresses what the writer meant, which I think was, “It also includes
      calls for the death of members of the our armed forces, both in this country and abroad.” I’m sure the writer calls for the death of members of Daesh’s armed forces, for example.

  8. I wonder what the “police prevent engagement officers” actually do once they get one of these little ASBOs in the chair. Do they try to persuade them that the institutions they have rejected are actually all for their benefit and that rejecting them is the path to anarchy? Or do they just black bag them and send them off for waterboarding?

    1. The more I read of this, the more it all looks like boilerplate gang-intervention technique.

      Stay in school, don’t do drugs, don’t hang out with that kid, he’s bad news.

    2. Jesus Hugh, haven’t you even seen Misfits?

      1. Surprised anyone else has, actually.

      2. I just assumed I wasn’t the target audience since all British shows are gay.

        1. There you go again.

          Only 80% of British shows are gay.

        2. Did you just call Malcolm Tucker gay?

        3. Well, as the gayest monster since gay came to Gaytown, I guess I just don’t notice how gay it is.

    3. Brit cops?

      “Oh, you were going to violently attack people? Here is your warning notice.”


      “You were going to make an inappropriate remark on social media?!”

      *bludgeons and hauls away*

      1. Rudeness traditionally sits quite high on the hierarchy of offences in British Culture.

        1. It’s pretty sick that in Britain if you defend yourself from a burglar you will do more time than the burglar. What’s worse is that many on the left in this country agree with such laws. After all, self-defense is vigilante justice. Or something.

          1. The criminal, once engaged in the criminal act must be allowed to continue said act unmolested by the victim until said act has concluded or licensed state actors intervene.

          2. In the Netherlands, if you hit your attacker with a baseball bat you’d better be able to claim that you happened to be playing baseball when the robber came in and it’s the only thing you could defend yourself with. Or if you stab the intruder, you’d better be claiming that you happened to be cutting vegetables for a soup you were making when he broke in and so the knife was the only option.

            The problem is that in order to claim “self-defense”, you need to be able to claim that you used the minimum amount of force available to you at that moment. If it’s found that you keep a knife for self-protection it’s a crime because you might have been able to use a pillow instead but you chose not to because you’re an evil monster.

            1. Those laws are a crime against natural human rights.

              1. I’d happily go to prison if it means my wife and children are alive. Even if it’s not clear that is the intruder’s intentions, the fact remains that it’s not my responsibility to ascertain his intentions once his actions have placed him outside the protection of (a reasonable) law. The Europeans’ legal systems though, with their degraded conception of “rights”, still believe that home invaders have a right to live and be free from harm.

              2. No kidding.

          3. Whereas sadistic thugs stalking the streets looking for an excuse to murder a criminal, be he ever so petty (or even innocent) is not, so long as the vigilantes are sanctified by Our Lord the State.

          4. The logic is that damage to a person is worse than damage to theft of inanimate objects. So if someone steals from you, not much harm because the item has merely changed hands, but if you hurt the thief, well, that’s hurting.

      2. Stop! Or I’ll say “Stop!” again!

  9. How can parents keep young people safe?

    Be aware of your child’s online activity and check which social media sites they are visiting; report any sites that you have concerns about

    Narc on your kids.

    1. It’s for their own good, CJ. Don’t you understand the state watches over us all, like a creepy drunk dad with quiet shoes?

      1. + Zero + Zero = Fag

      2. It really only takes about 5 seconds of any Kids in The Hall sketch to make you sit up and go,

        “Oh my god, comedy these days is such neutered bullshit”

        These days the best we get are things like South Park, which are only ‘transgressive’ in a very measured and predictable way… like watered-down rap-music with tons of warning labels and disclaimers. Even when its “offensive” its done in a very self-aware way that LOOK WE’RE BEING NAUGHTY NOW.

        Whereas, things like that are just, “who cares? a drunken abusive father who threatens to murder a child in his sleep is funny” Not expecting it, or not knowing where the boundaries are… is exactly why it works.

        Someone posted a link to DL Hugely on “The View” yesterday, where he explained his non-PC attitude towards She-Jenner as being essential to Comedy, which needs to be free from social taboo, etc. But at the same time he was just begging permission from a peer-group of nannies. It was stomach churning.

        1. Dude, you should really check out Danger 5. It’s so far beyond concepts like “PC”or “normal” that you’ll plotz.

          1. Yeah, i haven’t seen it, but its still not what i mean at all, because that’s “Situational” comedy.

            The premise is absurd, and they’re constantly reminding you of its “out-ness”. The characters and costumes and setups all contribute to the idea of it being a non-conventional, absurdist Circus.

            whereas sketch comedy like KitH was a constantly-changing set of parameters that never really settled into any predictability about what was supposed to be “normal” or what was “out”.

            e.g. – They were really one of the first (and only) TV shows that treated “gay” as not some YAY! LOOK AT US! WE HAVE A GAY GUY ON THE SHOW! ARENT WE OPEN MINDED? but went a step further and just played with it, making fun of super-faggy stereotypes, or having scott thompson play the butchiest of the Jocky stereotypes….basically refusing to play along with any “right or wrong”-view, and just do whatever the fuck was funny. “Fag Jokes” weren’t just “permissible” because they had gay cast-members. It was because the fag jokes were funny. (0 + 0 = FAG) This kind of conceptual freedom is unthinkable today. The “Fag jokes” would only be funny if they were ‘mocking homophobia’ and doing nothing else.

            in my view, their approach was the first example of a truly ‘non-homophobic’ show; because ‘gay’ just became something normal in life that could be mocked like anything else. They weren’t afraid of any potential taboos.

        2. Epi’s link was tremendous.

    2. +1 If You See Something, Say Something!

    3. With those parents, he thought, that wretched child must lead a life of terror. Another year, two years, and they would be watching her night and day for symptoms of unorthodoxy. Nearly all parents nowadays were horrible. What was worst of all was that by means of such organizations as the British Police they were systematically turned into ungovernable savages, and yet this produced in them no tendency whatever to rebel against the discipline of the Party. On the contrary, they adored the Party and everything connected with it. The songs, the processions, the banners, the hiking, the drilling with dummy rifles, the yelling of slogans, the worship of Big Brother, the trigger warnings –it was all a sort of glorious game to them. All their ferocity was turned outwards, against the enemies of the State, against foreigners, traitors, saboteurs, thought-criminals. It was almost normal for people under eighteen to be frightened of their own parents. And with good reason, for hardly a week passed in which ‘The Times’ did not carry a paragraph describing how some eavesdropping little sneak–parent hero’ was the phrase generally used–had overheard some compromising remark and denounced its children to the Thought Police.

    4. Narc on your kids before they narc on you – you wouldn’t want them to catch you muttering “Down with Big Brother” in their sleep!

      1. Oh, I see juvenile bluster wants to steal my thunder.

        1. But, yeah, if they were semi-competent at fascism they’d have kids turn in their parents, not vice-versa.

          But with time and practice, I suppose they’ll get around to doing both.

  10. Yeah, about that pamphlet…anyone notice the pattern with the hands? And what’s up with the one guy out? A Bosniak or something?

    1. Yeah, about that pamphlet…anyone notice the pattern with the hands?

      Two hands to use the touch pad?!

      And what’s up with the one guy out? A Bosniak or something?


      1. Every single pair of hands in the pamphlet were “Asian” except the one white guy in the cell phone circle jerk picture. It’s as if the photographer were protesting against the bullshit text of the flyer.

        1. By Jove, sir, you’re right!

          But then, radical Islamists have been known to recruit honkies, so the pamphlet is underserving the white fanatic Muslim population.

        2. “Your skin is very fair….you are Circassian?”

          “Yes, effendi”

        3. You have to keep your messaging in the realm of the indirect and deniable.

          Like, according to the latest season of Agents of SHIELD, arch-villains Hydra aren’t simply an international group of terrorists bent on world domination, marrying Nazi ideology to a stateless, amorphous structure. They’re also actually a far older death cult that believes in the eventual return of their otherworldy leader to Earth, and which have routinely carried a quasi-religious ritual of travel involving a black stone.

  11. Keeping Children and Young People Safe from Radicalisation and Extremism: Advice for Parents and Carers

    They really missed an opportunity to call this: Keeping Our Own Kids Safe

    1. “One of us-one of us-one of us.”

    2. Keeping Our Children and Kids Safe?

      1. Hmm… Keeping Our Children and Homes Safe.

  12. OT: Lewiston woman convicted of illegally using welfare card


    She didn’t use the cards for herself. She didn’t trade drugs for the cards. No. She simply helped out some homeless and disabled people who lacked transportation without first asking the state government for permission.

    No good deed goes unpunished.

    1. Although the three men had given Ishola permission, in affidavits, to shop with their cards for them, she hadn’t gotten authorization from DHHS.


      1. Yep. She’s going to jail for a week for not asking permission. Could have gotten three years.

        1. Yet another reason to just give people fucking cash.

  13. “Showing a mistrust of mainstream media reports and belief in conspiracy theories”

    Extremist or libertarian?

    1. Yes

  14. My son is definitely terrorist material.

    He wants to build a war zoo.
    He wants to be in a war (though he admits it’s probably nothing like what he thinks of it).
    When playing a game recently, he came up with the following answers:
    What is a legitimate role of government?
    Cops killing bad guys.
    What is an inappropriate name for a children’s story?
    Santa Beats His Wife
    Plus he’s all about violent video games.

    1. What the hell is a “war zoo”?

      Which sounds awesome, btw.

      1. I presume it would be where you keep your War Lions and War Elephants and War Bears

        1. That War Bear is the most fantastic thing I have seen in….months. Thanks for that, GILMORE!

      2. A zoo with arranged combats between the animals.

          1. Probably not. He just wants to see giraffes fighting with antelopes and such.

            When we went to the zoo one day, he got bored with looking at animals just chillin in their cages. He decided that he was going to start a zoo one day and make all of the animals fight for his entertainment.


            2. 100 quatloos on the Cape Buffalo!

        1. yeah that market has been dramatically under-served Michael Vick’s incarceration.

          1. *since

        2. You’ve never lived until you’ve seen a zebra stomp lemurs into paste.

          1. Nice.

            *Googles ‘zebra stomp lemur paste’*

            Nuts, nuthin’.

            1. I’ll let you all know when my son makes it a reality.

        3. Ben Fur, as John Pachak said.

  15. OT: can anyone recommend a good bottled bleu cheese dressing? i don’t eat the stuff, but I want to make a wedge salad for a holiday party.

    1. good bottled bleu cheese dressing

      There is a syntax error there.

      1. “good bottled rancid donkey semen” doesn’t compute.

        1. I don’t eat the stuff – that’s why I don’t know what a good bottled brand is!

          Let me put it this way: I like and respect most of my colleagues. What kind of bleu cheese dressing should I put on their wedge salads?

          1. I buy the stuff now and again, and I haven’t found any that were bad. I’d go with a brand that makes other dressings that you do like.

          2. Google a recipe. You can make a good dressing in 5-10 minutes. It’ll be a hit, and for little effort.

      2. Some of the ones with actual cheese in them aren’t completely awful.

        And what’s with “bleu cheese”? Pick one language.

    2. Just crumble blue cheese over ranch dressing.

      1. The problem is that blue cheese dressings don’t have enough blue cheese in them, so you’re going to want to add blue cheese anyway, so might as well start with ranch. Don’t make the mistake of trying to stretch the blue cheese with another cheese such as romano, because you wind up diluting the blue cheese flavor.

        As to the type of blue cheese to use, you’re on your own. They vary as much within a type according to how aged they are as much as they do between types. You may like those that are more green than blue.

  16. I like the idea of keeping one room of the house locked, with the sign, “101” on the door. And maybe, a few times a year, late at night. you could have recordings of weeping, pained moans, drifting from a speaker planted in the room.

    It would really help cement the disciplinary influence of the occasional veiled references to the “sister you don’t have anymore”.

  17. What if the kid wants to join the SAS?

  18. “Owning mobile phones or devices you haven’t given them”

    Except that I paid for my own cellphone. They’re destroying the entire notion of context and speaking with your kids.

  19. I wonder what the “police prevent engagement officers” actually do once they get one of these little ASBOs in the chair

    Hopefully, they’ll tear a page from the FBI playbook; fund their anti-socialism, and provide them with weapons.

  20. My son has been radicalized, and I did it.

    “I learned it from you, Mom. Okay? I learned it from you!!”

    1. Pfft, as if, MOM.

      *kickflips skateboard, rides away*

  21. Mom (over hears father and son speaking. Slams paring knife down on cutting board): W-what did you just say, Mister? Did you shout ‘jihad?’

    Son (nervously): ‘I-I d-didn’t say ‘jihad’ I said ‘hi dad! Geez, mom CHILL! You’re ruining my life!’

    Dad: I guess you won’t be using these belly dancing jingles in bed tonight? Are you making Hamburger Helper?’

    Mom narrows gaze looking at family suspiciously while twirling paring knife in hands.

    Dad: Go son. GO!

  22. Keeping Children and Young People Safe from Radicalisation and Extremism: Advice for Parents and Carers lists some of the warning signs that you?yes, you!?might have an extremist under your roof.

    We’re all supposed to pretend that all “young people” have an equal tendency towards turning to “extremism” that fuels terrorism. It’s as though they’re claiming that it’s not one particular demographic that represents a particularly acute proclivity for producing terrorists from it’s ranks.

    1. Well, yeah. But it’s not as if they are fooling anyone.

  23. I have to send in a check tomorrow for my son’s rifle club membership – covers ammo, ranges, etc… Yes, I paid extra for a high school that has a rifle club.

    He is fully radicalized at this point and is now working on becoming more proficient.

  24. Teh Youngs are chattel property of the State. Allowing them to wander off the reservation is criminally negligent parenting.

  25. OK, smarty pants, what sx would you look for?

    1. When junior starts breaking out the prayer-mat 5 times a day, maybe there’s cause for concern.

  26. I’m getting an ad for a “don’t tread on me” t-shirt. Perfect for my terrorist kid!

  27. I notice the “other language” notifications in the pamphlet are in Somali, I believe Urdu, and either Pashto or Arabic. I’m guessing Pashto based on context.

  28. Cripes, the contortions people go through to avoid the obvious. What’s the #1 warning sign?

    A strong/increased belief in Islam, especially among new converts and 2nd-3rd generation immigrants.

    Of course that is not sufficient in and of itself, but as a warning sign, it’s the best. No question.

  29. It’s the same propaganda as addiction/drug war and the solution is the same. Teach your child: “Addiction/incitement to violence/religious extremism is a myth/rationalization/lie. You are responsible for your behavior whether sober/drunk/high/incited/radicalized.”

  30. For those ignorant charlatans in the ‘mainstream’ media and cable news networks who routinely either dismiss the word militia as something akin to malaria, you people are a major part of the problem. Not only do you have zero understanding of the Second Amendment, you also have zero understanding of warfare. But, what can one expect from a bunch of sissies who sit around with their latte’s and laptops?
    Devvy Kidd

  31. Let’s face it, the “fix is in” everywhere in government, local, state, or federal.
    The fix is in on the move to take away our guns, either by law, or by UN Treaty. It’s coming even though it could trigger a revolution in America.
    The fix is in on the Federal Reserve and the world central banks. They own us.
    The fix is in when banks and corporations are too big to fail and they get bailed out with our money.
    The fix is in on the Congress, the U. S. Supreme Court and all other courts. Since 1945 and the creation of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure, the\courts ceased being constitutional courts and citizen grand juries were abolished.
    The fix is in on international trade agreements and world trade. The corporations win and the American worker loses.
    The fix is in on the elections.
    The fix is in with the American mainstream media.
    The fix is in on illegal immigration and sanctuary cities.
    The fix is in on radical environmentalism. Man is guilty and he must pay, especially Americans. Environmental mandates override constitutional protections.
    The fix is in on public education. It is now social, environmental and world government indoctrination. Government is preparing the next batch of serfs to be good little, compliant dunderheads for the collective that won’t challenge authority, aided and abetted by teachers and the teacher’s unions.
    But will the people stop them? So far, we see no evidence that they will.
    Ron Ewart

  32. This just begs for a parody response along the lines of “Is Your Elected Official a Nazi? Watch for the Warning Signs!”

  33. Be warned of your children :”Showing a mistrust of mainstream media reports and belief in conspiracy theories”
    “Appearing angry about government policies, especially foreign policy”

    Yes, possibly the above might be indicative of brewing problems,though such signs might also be indicative of kids actually thinking,which they should be.

  34. Don’t fight the government’s indoctrination! They don’t care that THEY are breaking the law, every minute of every day! I feel they have added euthanasia, as a treatment of the elderly, when their illness will end up being too costly! I witnessed it, myself! (I am a retired surgeon/pain doctor) They gave my mother Fentanyl when they were supposed to be removing the respirator!? No response from the government, so far! These are the same assholes who would charge doctors with murder when they were trying to treat their patients with chronic pain! NO JUSTICE! JUST US!

  35. I monitor my kids web activity anyway. I figure learning how to get around my snooping so he can access Pr0n will provide valuable skills for a STEM career.

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