Election 2016

Matt Welch and Donald Trump on the Same Episode of Red Eye w/ Tom Shillhue


At 3 a.m. ET, I'll be appearing on the Fox News program Red Eye w/ Tom Shillhue to talk about the GOP debate, CNBC, Muslim truckers, empanadas, and more. You will probably also enjoy Shillhue's walk through Manhattan with a man tourists believe to be Donald Trump…. 

NEXT: Waco Biker Massacre Footage Aired by CNN; Big Questions About Responsibility for Shooting Remain Unanswered

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  1. Natchitoches meat pies beat the shit out of Argentinean empanadas.

    1. Everything American beats everything aegentinian.

      1. Except for Fangio.

        1. Though he couldn’t even qualify at the Brickyard so maybe you’re right.

          1. #DontCryForMeIndianapolis

    2. Wrong.

      You’re now no longer qualified to enjoy Santa Maria Tri Tip.

      Why don’t you try Chipotle instead? You might find that more to your liking.

      1. And ya gotta go to Nipomo to get a good one.

        1. No need. I have Jocko’s mix at home, plus a smoker with plenty of white oak.

          And a few other tricks up my sleeve.

          1. Want good tri tip? That’s why Harris Ranch has its own airstrip.

            Or just plan on your mid-trip meal between LA and San Francisco to always be there, it’s right there on I-5 (or, ‘the five’ for you Southern Californians).

            Way back before we were more settled down and parents, my wife and I even went and spent a weekend at the Harris Ranch hotel, drinking rum-and-cokes by the pool all day, while having steak-and-eggs for breakfast in the Ranch Cafe, tri-tip sandwiches for lunch in the Ranch Patio, and Filet Mignon in the high-end dressy Restaurant. We might have gone spelunking in a nearby cave that day as well, there’s kind of a rum-and-beef fog clouding the memory.

            Nice place to visit for just a truly offbeat getaway, but when the breeze changes in the direction of the manure mounds, it’s much less fun, and time to load up the car and head home.

            1. I drove by there about 20 times a year in college until I had enough scratch to fly Southwest.

              I was unimpressed by the Tri Tip. The ribeye was maybe a 7 out of 10 in the nice dinning room. Sweet postcards, though.

              1. I was unimpressed by the Tri Tip.

                I’m guessing you might have been there when the local meat was out of season.

            2. but when the breeze changes in the direction of the manure mounds, it’s much less fun

              I was going to say, “there’s a hotel? How do the guests cope with what must be a hideous smell?” Bad enough to smell that place zipping by on 5.

              The answer to the Tri-Tip question is two-fold: most people in the area have their own take on the rub required—and the whole proper bean thing is way overrated. I think it’s something some local in Santa Maria made up to fool a food writer and it snowballed from there—but if you must go to a restaurant, hit one of the Hitching Post establishments. I like the one from Sideways, but other members in my family raved about the one in Casmalia. While making jokes about glowing in the dark from the toxic waste dump near by. Jocko’s was looked down upon as being way too expensive and overrated. Then again, before it closed, they liked McClintock’s on the over side of 101 from Shell Beach, so what did they know?

              The Far Western in Guadalupe was quite good too, even if the rest of the town’s a dump. Pegs the kitsch meter.

            3. spelunking in a nearby cave

              Is that what you’re calling it now? Know what I mean, nudge nudge? Say no more!

    3. You’ve obviously not had a good Venezuelan empanada because they are the bomb.

  2. Matthew, PLEASE ask The Donald, “WHERE MY COUNTRY GONE??!!!”

    Thank you!

    1. *shivers* That’s the 3-faced Satan from Dante’s Inferno, right?

    2. That will work better than thinking about baseball

  3. Seems a legit resemblance: http://is.gd/KHjPEP

    Could also be an anthropomorphized Cerberus.

    1. Dammit, wrong reply box. Oh well.

      1. A little P Brooks is in all of us.

  4. Oh, and I see Reason has changed the layout of the main page. I do like that there’s less orange to deal with. But there’s a pointless large grey divider near the top now: https://i.imgur.com/NI83mx1.png


      1. It’d at least have a function in that case, instead of just being ill-conceived aesthetic clutter.

  5. Ask the Donald “How many people a year should the US imprison to make cannabis Prohibition a success? There are at least 20 million cannabis users in the US. Should they all go to prison?”

    1. MJ users will be sent to forced labor camps strung along the US-Mexico border to help build the Wall of Trump. It’ll be a great opportunity for them to detox and help Make America Great Again.

  6. Bring up the fact that in Trump’s 2000 Reform Party flirtation, he suggested we legalize drugs and prostitution, and say how you’re for it.

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