Movies

Here's the New Trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens

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The new trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens went online last night. 

Watch it: 

I like it. I like it a lot, actually. The visual fidelity to the look of the original trilogy is impressive: It feels more like an original-trilogy-era Star Wars film than the prequel trilogy made by George Lucas did. 

But there's something just a tiny bit presumptuous about the new trailer—really, about the whole marketing campaign up until now. As much as I think it works, in some ways, it's too self-confident, too assured, too arrogant. It reminds me a little of those ads for stealth bombers I sometimes see in the D.C. Metro: It's mostly about creating the right vibe; the product is already sold. 

Tickets for the film went on sale last night, and crashed online sellers like Fandango in the process. If you want to see the movie on opening weekend and haven't picked up tickets yet, hurry: It may already be too late. 

(Full disclosure: I'm a hopeless, lifelong Star Wars geek.) 

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  1. I’m so excited. I just can’t wait to see how Abrams fucked this up.

    1. If you like your lens flares, you can keep your lens flares.

  2. Why does everyone keep trying to push the trailers for this movie at me? I might forgive, say, my friends who are fans, but it’s being pushed from sites that are reputed news organizations (and reason.com). My goodwill for Star Wars died a while ago, and the more hyped and advertised a product, the less I want the makers to get my money.

    1. The hate is swelling in you now. Use it. Suderman is unarmed. Flame him with it. Give in to your anger.

        1. Give in to your hatred….LET IT FLOW THROUGH YOU…..yessssss

          1. Too old for the training, he is

  3. I think the prequels set such a low bar, it’s hard not to get excited over something that might not suck.

    And with that said, it seems like an interesting story having it star an ex-Stormtrooper. None of this midichlorian immaculate conception that spawned a really bratty kid.

    I think they missed an opportunity not having an Asian woman instead of a bland English one as the other star, and presumably from a desert planet.

    1. I think they missed an opportunity not having an Asian woman instead of a bland English one as the other star, and presumably from a desert planet.

      I’m not seeing the purported value-add from your proposition. Did you have some better actress in mind?

      1. Of course not. Only that she’s not white.

        D

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    2. Jesus, the prequels set such a low bar I might be more excited about a trilogy sequel to Legally Blond at this point.

  4. Here’s my reaction to those urging me to watch this movie.

  5. I was there on opening night of Episode 1. That scarred me for life—- well, not really, but i was highly disappointed. I can’t wait to see this one, but I’m not doing opening night 🙂

    And I’m praying it is at least as good as Return of the Jedi…

    1. You’ll be lucky if its as good as ‘Lockout’.

      Or Star Trek Reboot 2.

      1. I don’t think “Jedi” is setting the bar very high. Abrams can meet that. *crosses fingers and meditates*

    2. I enjoyed Episode 1. Granted, Jar-Jar was an annoyingly unnecessary distraction but overall I thought it was good, especially Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan and Liam Neeson as Qui-Gon.

      I may be in the minority.

      1. You’re dead to me, Restoras.

      2. OK, but what about Episode 2? Please tell me you didn’t like that one….!

        1. I didn’t like the rest of the prequels – except for Obi-Wan declining the offer of death sticks.

          1. The only redeeming feature of Episode 3 was the terribly written and then cut scene where Bail Organa and Mon Mothma meet with others and form the Rebel Alliance. That, and Ewan McGregor did a fantastic job slowly adopting Alec Guiness’s mannerisms throughout it.

            1. McGregor was great, as it’s clear he eventually dropped any pretense of taking the movies seriously or getting any direction from George. By the third movie he was just keeping himself entertained in the big blue rooms with an Alec Guinness impression.

  6. You guys know its going to suck, right?

    1. No Spoilers!

      1. But… I just got this triple-spoiler for the PoS FWD Honda!

        1. I’ll allow that but only if there is a hood scoop too.

          1. +2 side scoops

  7. Star Wars has always been mostly terrible. The first one was OK, because George Lucas accidentally made a decent movie, but other than that it’s been pretty much useless.

    That said, there’s this.

    1. The thing is thus – With the first movie, he had talented people who were able to tell him “No, George, that’s a stupid idea” and he listened to them. The more independant he became, the worse the product got. The prequels contained a lot of the content he’d been told to cut from the first set.

      1. I think a lot of it was the lack of CGI available to him. If he made A New Hope with 20 years advanced CGI but the same actors he would have made a terrible film.

        1. CGI can be lovely on the eyes but the bureaucracy of CGI and its teams and specialists doesn’t lend it well to off-the-cuff shittiness that makes the rare schlock oddly great.

      2. If Ep 2 hadn’t been in the Star Wars franchise (just a random movie) there would have never been an Ep3… that movie is on the M. Night Shyamlan scale of suck.

  8. Full disclosure: I’m a hopeless, lifelong Star Wars geek

    When obsession visibly bubbles from your pores like coagulated neon fuel you don’t have to strike a match and turn yourself into a human light saber.

  9. HAAAAAAN!!!

    These are the ones with Shatner, right?

    1. I think he plays some kind of private investigator… or maybe a travel agent.

      1. In the director’s cut it turns out he was an android who was dead the whole time.

  10. Y’know I really loved Star Wars when I was a kid… in 1977. And then Empire seemed totally awesome! But Return, on the other hand, was a smoldering wreck of an Ewok movie. YOU CAN SEE THE ZIPPER!

    I watched the Phantom Menace… and haven’t watched one since.

    Re-watching the original trilogy – my son thinks they’re great – has really shown me again how much these movies suck. Yes the original Star Wars is the best, but it’s still a bit of a stinker. Shut up, Chewbacca! And R2D2 is annoying as fuck, as is the comedy schtick of CP3O.

    1. The original Star Wars was designed to be watched in 1977 right after disco and actual moon-walking ended leaving a humongous unrealized hole in the American heart. So along comes this sort of shitty movie that was a junkyard of cool crap that Americans were missing in the late boring 70’s. On its own the original Star Wars is both awful and delightful because of its snagging of cultural tidbits and the wrangling of that lovely crap into a discernible entertainment.

      The real fucking blasphemy was going to be the rest of the Star Wars existence and its insistence on lasering every scrap of latent space desire out of even dead citizens. People who are actually in the grave should rise up and watch Star Wars. People who haven’t even been fucking born should watch Star Wars. People who are like in the womb should crawl out from between mother lips and watch Star Wars.

      If the globe was a sponge Star Wars would be the giant hand squeezing every penny out of that shit.

  11. Hollywood can’t seem to make enough billions off human characteristics it generally politically despises… bright nomads with irritation issues and rugged individualists who fuck with the system.

    1. Han Solo – The Ultimate individual free market operator.

      1. The irked space lord every mother wanted to fuck.

        1. The Irked Space Lords would be an excellent name for a band.

      2. HAN SHOT FIRST !!!!

        Sorry. Just had to get that out of my system.

  12. Wake me when there is a trailer for the Galaxy Quest sequel. Never give up, never surrender!

    1. By Grabthar’s hammer, what an underrated movie.

      1. It’s 90% on Rotten Tomatoes. That’s pretty highly rated.

        1. “Quick, let’s get out of here before something eats guy!”

    2. “you know what your problem is Crusty? You were never serious about the craft.”

  13. I assume Billy Dee is in this movie, and there is a scene where he rips the earring out of Harrison Ford’s ear so that Harrison Ford can go back to making good movies? The earring ruined him.

    1. The earring ruined him.

      One the other hand, if the bitch would have worn his earring like a pirate he would have elevated his fading machismo.

    2. That’s Billy DEEEEEEEEEEE! Williams to you.

    3. Do you really want to see contemporary Billy Dee as Lando?

      Of course I was asking the same about Mark Hamill and Carrie Fischer, but they seemed to have been molded back into something reasonably photogenic.

  14. They took spaceships, then put them fighting close to a planet just so it would give a sense of scale and speed. I’m not taking this as a good sign.

    1. Yes but a true space battle would be extremely short, noiseless, involve no pyrotechnics, and no referent to direction or velocity. Basically a REAL space battle would suck. I remember reading something by L.E. Modesett, or Asimov, or somebody, where they outline what a real space battle would entail. It is basically the first guy to throw a rock at the other guy wins.

      1. What, exactly, has ever been real about these movies? Government is evil. That’s about it.

  15. Prediction = Gay Robots

  16. Prediction=Storm troopers still can’t hit the broad side of a barn.

    1. Yet these blast points are too accurate for sand people.
      Only Imperial storm troopers are so precise.

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