Reason Weekly Contest: Sexy Pizza Rat Costumes and More

Last week's winners revealed.

Yandy.com

Welcome back to the Reason Weekly Contest! This week's question is:

The "Sexy Pizza Rat" is just one of the inspired costumes debuting for Halloween this year. Come up with another improbable, irresistible new costume.  

How to enter: Submissions should be e-mailed to [e-mail]. Please include your name, city, and state. This week, kindly type "COSTUME" in the subject line. Entries are due by 11 p.m. Eastern Time, Monday, Oct. 19. Winners will appear Friday, Oct. 23, right here at Reason.com.

In the case of identical or similar entries, the first one received gets credit. First prize is a one-year digital subscription to Reason magazine, plus bragging rights. While we appreciate kibbitzing in the comments below, you must email your answer to enter the contest. Feel free to enter more than once, and good luck!

And now for the results of last week's contest: Augustus Sol Invictus, a Libertarian candidate for the Senate from Florida, has admitted to sacrificing a goat and drinking its blood. He also exhorts his followers to "take LSD and practice sorcery… listen to trap music and black metal," and take their girlfriends to strip clubs while seducing the dancers in the back room.  We asked you to come up with a bumper sticker for his campaign.

THE WINNER:

All You Need is Blood -- Christopher P. Brown, Idlewylde, MD

SECOND PLACE:

Better summon Sol -- Colin Blake, Boston, MA

THIRD PLACE:

I Have a Nightmare -- Tracy Davis, Lawrence, KS

(Also: Make America Goat Again!)

 

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Rock the Goat! Invictus 2016 -- K.C. Decker, Denton, MD

Invictus: Sacrificing for our Future -- Arthur Pearlstein, Arlington, VA

I make bat-shit crazy look GOOD! -- Donald Greer

WINNING With the Power of But a Single Burning Sun -- Ian Robbins, Aurora, CO

Make love and war. -- Richard Bradley, Fredericksburg, VA

INVICTUS FOR SENATE: It's not rocket science. (It's sorcery.) -- Walter Hayes, Hartsdale, NY

Vote against the Venerable Sun God. I dare you. -- SimonJester

Augustus Sol Invictus 2016. Caveat Emptor. -- Suellington

Don't let the Unconquerable Sun go down on America -- DL, Miami, FL

Fuck Change. Shapeshift! -- Morgan A. Brown, Dallas, GA

He puts the Sin in Senator -- Charles Gibson

Make America Bleat Again. -- Kyle Harding, Lompoc, CA

GOAT BLOOD NOW, GOAT BLOOD TOMORROW, GOAT BLOOD FOREVER -- Fred Cole

BUMP TRAP. HUFF CRACK. FUCK TAX. INVICTUSFORSENATE.COM -- Noumenon E., Evansville, IN

Goat With the Flow -- David Bryant, Tampa, FL

Go crazy or go home -- Rob, Oswego, NY

Comments

[DEATFBIRSECIA]

Better Summon Sol!

Brilliant!

[Notorious UGCC]

Why is that no. 2? It should have been first, easily!

[AlmightyJB]

I'm hungry

[Zeb]

What does a "pizza rat" (whatever that is) have to do with Halloween?

[DEATFBIRSECIA]

It's a meme. This one rat was schlepping a piece of pizza around NYC or something.

[DEATFBIRSECIA]

Here it is:

http://mashable.com/2015/09/21.....xegAmBXkqh

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Jeez, it's not like it made a deep dish pizza. Sheesh.

[Swiss Servator]

Yeah, then the rat would have been showing good taste as well as strength...

[lap83]

pizza rat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPXUG8q4jKU

Basically anything that you can contrive into a sexy costume = Halloween appropriate

[Zeb]

I disagree. You can have a dress-up party any time you want. Halloween is about scary ghosts and stuff.

[lap83]

I prefer scary ghosts too. But college girls want an excuse to dress sexy or something

[Swiss Servator]

And Iook on with a mix of wistfulness and desire...

[Swiss Servator]

*I*

[Tonio]

But it's a safe bet for semi-sexy costume with no fear of being denounced for cultural appropriation.

[Christophe]

Check your apex predator privilege.

[Tonio]

But it's a safe bet for semi-sexy costume with no fear of being denounced for cultural appropriation.

[Tonio]

It seems the rodents don't like me.

Also, not all halloween costumes have to be scary or with supernatural/horror themes.

[Mongo]

A Stasi ratfuck costume.

[Galactic Chipper Cdr Lytton]

Sex E Cheese. Where a cad can be a cad.

[Restoras]

Pepperoni Goes Here*

Enter at your own risk.

[Swiss Servator]

*applause*

[lap83]

Sexy old man with candy

[Old Man With Candy]

Well, thank you for your support.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Well, it did say improbable.

[lap83]

bwhaha

[Old Man With Candy]

Don't listen to him, I'm adorable.

[sarcasmic]

Honest Cop (A police uniform with a long Pinocchio nose)

[Adans smith]

More like with a target on his vest.Remember the Mad magazine cartoon about Frank Serpico? I date myself.

[Episiarch]

Yes I do.

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

I remember reading that issue at my bagpipe teacher's house. His kids had all the MAD magazines...superb reading for my 11-18 year old years.

I also recall "The Godfather", all the "Spy vs Spy", and those little one-panel Martin sketches. Of course, the one that sticks in my mind - a drawing of a goofy-looking Martin woman with a boob popping out of her shirt, with the caption, "POIT!" That's STILL funny, I don't care who you are...

[Mongo]

Yes - it was a sticker from one of the Super Specials, Al.

[Crusty Juggler]

Mind you, we only had three channels back then, and drugs were cheap, too!

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

Drugs were FREE. Me and my best friend grew all our weed. Kept it in the freezer through the winter/summer to keep it fresh. We'd get a couple pounds each year - it would get us through till the next harvest.

I never paid for weed till I got into college. True story.

[Crusty Juggler]

And a tank of gas was a nickel.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

And the onion on the belt.

[Citizen X]

A yellow onion instead of white, on account of the Kaiser.

[bluecanarybythelightswitch]

Nineteen dickity two?

[B.P.]

Bagpipe teacher?

[Crusty Juggler]

"bagpipe teacher."

[R C Dean]

"See, I blow on this tube . . . "

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

Go on....

[Swiss Servator]

+1 Scotland the Brave

[Free Market Socialist $park?]

Sexy Libertarian, see if anyone can guess.

[Notorious UGCC]

I found this in, like, half a minute.

[Warty]

Sexy Hillary Clinton!

[Citizen X]

Now now, some things are just TOO far fetched.

[lap83]

skin-colored uggs for cankles

[Citizen X]

[vomits uncontrollably through nose]

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I'm going to fry 2 eggs sunny side up and hang them on a closet hook until they're just the right amount of saggy.

If I do it today, my Hillary costume should be ready by halloween.

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

...aaaaaaaaand there goes lunch.

[Tonio]

OK, lap83, I actually just learned what cankles are. I'm suddenly queasy.

[american socialist]

A Dyson Sphere.

I kid... The thought of an alien civilization collectively building infrastructure makes me want to send Doogie Houser in his SS outfit to launch a nuke down their bug hole.

[Warty]

Fuck off, idiot.

[Episiarch]

Tell us more about what you want to launch down Doogie Howser's hole.

[Citizen X]

We all know you're just gonna dress as your hero Lavrenti Beria, again.

[DEATFBIRSECIA]

+1 Our Himmler.

[GILMORE?]

""infrastructure""

(a term you toss out without any specifics as to what you think has been so neglected - because if there were any actual economic benefit to specific investments into underlying infrastructure projects, the market would already incentivize private actors to jump on that ASAP)

...as though this administration hasn't spent hundreds of billions since 2009 on vaguely-defined "infrastructure projects", ranging from $100bn in ARRA money in the toilet for "greening up federal buildings" and make-work boondoggles, $50billion in annual money transferred from Pentagon drawdowns into undefined GSA contract spending, etc. Never mind the $300bn in new spending that obama wants to try and stuff into the budget to force another stalemate he can blame on Congress.

Anyone with half a brain recognizes "infrastructure" is used as code-language by morons to justify "Spending" sans any actual specific justifcation. As though High Speed Rail and "greener" federal office buildings are necessities for economic growth.

We already know you are a moron, but you needn't remind us so often.

[american socialist]

-1 interstate highway system, Golden Gate Bridge

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

+ derp

[Swiss Servator]

Tell him NOT to look up how his bridge got financed and built...

[american socialist]

I know... They got the money from a bank. Then, the banker proceeded to build the bridge by himself.

[GILMORE?]

close

""A second problem in 1929 when the US Stock Market collapsed made for more problems. The Golden Gate committee now has trouble issuing the bond needed for the construction of the bridge, even though the citizens of the surrounding area had put up their own personal lands and farms as collateral. It takes 3 more years and the wealthy President and founder of Bank of America, A.P. Giannini, to personally buy the 35 million dollar bond which he then finances through the bank. Without the bank and the intervention of private industry fueled by personal wealth, again the bridge would not have been built"

The point which your profound stupidity misses is that the project was entirely driven by local demand for the project, and not top-down demands by bureaucrats who forced citizens to cough up $$ for stuff they had no use for.

[Swiss Servator]

If he ever grokked that his head would implode.

[GILMORE?]

I don't know if you're so stupid you're trying to claim that we need to "fix" the above projects of the early-20th-century with hundreds of billions of new spending... else they be swallowed up by the earth....

...or that you're stupidly implying there are some-currently needed (but unidentified) projects of equal scale currently lurking the shadows which desperately require funding, but which people oppose because...

...well, they can't actually oppose, because you can't actually name what it is.

Your imbecility is nothing if not persistent

[Free Market Socialist $park?]

Sexy Ayn Rand

[Just say Nikki]

Sexy Lamar-in-a-coma

[Warty]

Sexy Ugly Kardashian?

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

So... just a Kardashian?

[Citizen X]

Costume includes herb-enhanced crotch bulge?

[Tonio]

Eeeewww.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

That's not improbable. He's still sexy in a coma.

[Notorious UGCC]

Dress up the kids as ghosts.

[Episiarch]

Sexy normally un-sexy person. It's all the outfit!

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

But you go as yourself every year!

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

I like the year Epi dressed up as his mom. Or, as most people refer to it, "today".

[Citizen X]

His family is REALLY into Garanimals.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

It also explains all those noises coming from the bathroom.

[Episiarch]

This year, it'll be *your* mom. Just like last night.

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

Just keep paying and it's all good.

[Episiarch]

I know, and I've decided to mix it up by going as you this year.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.

[Episiarch]

I'm sorry.

[Free Market Socialist $park?]

How about a whole new line for people that are really into class warfare.

Poor Donald Trump
Poor Kim Kardashian
Poor Taylor Swift

[lap83]

dress up as a gun with a warning tag on the trigger

[lap83]

probably not a good idea to go to school like that though

[Citizen X]

Is the gun sexy tho?

[lap83]

Yes, I forgot to mention that part

[lap83]

although do you need a separate trigger warning label for the sexiness?

That gives me a new idea: Sexy political comic strip

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

7 inch barrel

[Citizen X]

7 inch barrel... ladies.

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

Snub nose for the Eye-talians, amirite?

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! BADA BOOM! BADA BING!

[R C Dean]

Is the gun sexy tho?

What do you think the trigger is?

[DEATFBIRSECIA]

Sexy Kim Davis! - Bleeeechhhhh!

Shit! Does anybody have any of that orange powder, I just threw up all over everything!

[Crusty Juggler]

You leave Tang alone!

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

Sexy pregnant Chelsea Clinton

*throws up a little*

[Lee G]

asshole

[Citizen X]

Then, halfway through whatever party you're at, shriek and tear at the belly, releasing the thousands of spiders contained within.

[Lee G]

Spiders with Hillary faces

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

I like this idea.

[lap83]

It's really the scariest thing so far

[Citizen X]

If i saw that, there'd not be enough tranquilizers in the world to get me to stop screaming ever.

[Lee G]

Couldn't resist

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!

*runs from room*

[Swiss Servator]

*turns dead white, faints*

[Notorious UGCC]

Ghouls

[Lee G]

Improbable and irresistible

President Julie Borowski

[Old Man With Candy]

I'm going to black out one of my teeth and go as Elizabeth Stoker Bruenig.

[Episiarch]

You're really not cute enough, you know. You'll need to show more skin. TAKE IT OFF

[Old Man With Candy]

Last time I did that, it was a weekend in jail and $20,000 bail.

[commodious spittoon]

You'll need to show more skin. TAKE IT OFF

What, like Buffalo Bill?

[Episiarch]

Put the lotion on or you get the hose again. DO IT.

[Citizen X]

I'll hurt your dog, mister!

[Episiarch]

(pushes penis between legs, dances around)

[Citizen X]

Oh, you're at work already?

[Episiarch]

Look, I'm working. Make it rain or I give a lap dance to someone else.

[Old Man With Candy]

Here, I'll throw nickels.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Where do you think some of those red marks come from?

They ain't all herpes scars.

[Citizen X]

We've tried to explain that putting cigarettes out by pressing them into his groin isn't a very good party trick, but you know how he is.

[Citizen X]

You're trying to lure Irish now?

[Swiss Servator]

Yeah, that is Irish bait, isn't it?

[Aloysious]

Those slices of pizza are quite provocative.

"Would you like a bite of my pizza pie?"

[Aloysious]

As to the sexy costume idea, James Clapper dressed as a Chippendales dancer.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

You're all stretched out. It's deep dish.

[Notorious UGCC]

"Sorry, Princess Leia, this isn't working out, I've oundsomeone else."

[Notorious UGCC]

*found* someone else

[Notorious UGCC]

Darn, I should have said "I did it all for the Wookie."

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

COME ON!

[SimonJester]

Woohoo! Got an HM!

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

Your world is so small and shallow.

Welcome to the club....

*admires wall of Hat Tips and 1 HM*

[commodious spittoon]

Welch retweeted me yesterday, so... I guess I've got that going on.

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

Stacy's mom also has it going on....

[Notorious UGCC]

I'd have to be waterboarded for several hours before being forced to admit I get the reference.

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

Hey - I LIKE THAT SONG! YOU TAKE IT BACK!

[Notorious UGCC]

I like it too, I just wouldn't *admit* it.

Oops...

[lap83]

random fact: the only movie that song has ever been in was Art School Confidential

I think it's kind of a funny bit, there's an undercover cop going to an art school and he's listening to it in the scene where it's first revealed who he really is. He's listening to it and singing along while working on his homework (i.e. painting) and his wife is doing laundry in the background, completely antithetical to the other characters in his class

[commodious spittoon]

The correct response should have been phrased in the form of You know who else...

[Notorious UGCC]

This is who else.

[Charles Easterly]

*makes note in large letters: "Do not look through any links provided by Notorious for the remainder of the day."*

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Sexy Adolph Hitler?

[Swiss Servator]

*narrows gaze*

[lap83]

you keep Heroic Mulatto on your wall?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Honorable Mention. You know, the first loser.

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

No, lap83 is correct....I'm not ashamed to say.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Wait, what?

[Swiss Servator]

Are you "hanging out" with Almanian?

[Tonio]

Dammit, Alma, I've been here for years and the best I've ever gotten is some staff comments thanking me for picking up on typos.

And that one time Sullum went off on me in a pissy rant. Good times.

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

Sexy Stop-Smoking-Commercial Cancer Victim.

The one with Tracheotomy Lady. SEXY....

[Notorious UGCC]

Hillary Clinton is going as a competent leader with a history of accomplishments.

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

Vladimir Putin? Interesting.

[commodious spittoon]

Come up with another improbable, irresistible new costume.

What, nobody's mentioned sexy Mitt Romney?

[Free Market Socialist $park?]

For the colored ladies only:

Sexy watermelon
Sexy fried chicken
Sexy grape soda

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

+1 PURPLE DRANK

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

Sexy Greg Gutfeld.

The problem with that costume is, you have to cut off your legs at the knees and drill a dimple into your forehead with a 1/2" bit.

[commodious spittoon]

I miss gregalogues. And Bill Schulz. Shillue is okay, I guess. But there was a brilliant sequence after a segment on discovering the remains of Richard III when Bill made a joke involving the punchline "crooked Dick," and Imogen doubles over laughing. Good stuff.

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

I miss watching Imogen Lloyd Weber's boobs jiggle up and down when she laughs.

Wait.....what were we talking about?

[commodious spittoon]

I would become a raging progressive lefty for a night with ILW. She's my gimme.

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

SEXY STEVE SMITH.

[Swiss Servator]

HALLOWEEN RAPE ALWAYS SEXY!

[Notorious UGCC]

You can call me Levi Coffin. I help you escape the confines of boring costume ideas!

[Crusty Juggler]

Sexy Doctors With Borders Kunduz hospital bombing patient.

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

noyce

[Free Market Socialist $park?]

Would that look anything like last year's popular Sexy Drone Strike Wedding Victim?

[Crusty Juggler]

Sexy Syrian refugee.

This costume involves complaining about where you are, making demands for free stuff, and listening to Wyclef.

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

So - same getup as OWS protester.

I like the efficiency and versatility!

[Citizen X]

It's kind of a pain to lug around that section of dismantled Hungarian border fence, though.

[BigT]

Sexy floating Syrian refugee

[Swiss Servator]

*narrows gaze*

[Notorious UGCC]

Dress up as this nurse.

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

Sexy Kim Kardhashian.

Think about it.

Wait, no - don't. For the love of God....

[SusanM]

OT: Keystone Kops Komedy

http://www.cracked.com/persona.....e-tsa.html

8 Things You Don't (Want To) Know About TSA Checkpoints

[Idle Hands]

sexy pubescent boy costume.

[Free Market Socialist $park?]

That would be great if you could get another guy to go as NAMBLAman.

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

PAGING OLD MAN WITH CANDY! OLD MAN WITH CANDY TO THE COURTEST PHONE, PLEASE!

[Old Man With Candy]

Prepubescent, please.

[Notorious UGCC]

Or dress up as this nun.

[Citizen X]

Isn't that what you do every Saturday, though?

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

Mighty SNAPpy outfit...

[GILMORE?]

Sexy TSA Screener

2 by 2...hands of Blue....

[Swiss Servator]

*opera applause*

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

Sexy Matt Welch. Complete with cool spectacles.

[Free Market Socialist $park?]

You'd need a shirt that says "LUV MACHEEN" on it as well.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I'm not feeling this thread.

Do better.

[lap83]

Sexy Canadian

[Rufus J. Firefly]

/ears perk up.

Go on....

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

I'm thinking Natasha Henstridge and Avril Lavigne, but that's just me....

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Avril Lavigne? And people scolded me for having the temerity to admit I'd produce love with Coulter? Bah.

[Greg Loves His Woodchipper]

I was thinking more like (prime) Shyla Stylez

[Crusty Juggler]

A sexy Canadian

[lap83]

oddly, that's the closest to what I envisioned

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

I was thinking this

[Swiss Servator]

Great...now I have to write GEN Ray Odiarno and say "you are now no longer my hero, Bobarian is".

[Episiarch]

Done.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Improbable, not impossible.

[lap83]

So I guess everyone took this as an invitation to advertise their bizarre Canadian fetishes. Disgusting

[Crusty Juggler]

My favorite Canadian fetish is when a minor league hockey team eats those maple syrup popsicle stick things off of my half-frozen body while "Lunatic Fringe" plays in the background.

[Citizen X]

Mine is when they talk about the Tragically Hip and then get all sad.

[Notorious UGCC]

One more, you say? OK, but then you have to go to sleep.

Here's a French maid costume.

[Free Market Socialist $park?]

Sexy Rape-Rape Victim

[Almanian's Rusty Woodchipper]

That one's a pain in the ass.

OH! "Rape-Rape" - OK, then. NOT a pain in the ass.

[Loki]

STEVE SMITH SAY ALL RAPE-RAPE VICTIMS SEXY!

[Loki]

STEVE SMITH SAY ALL RAPE-RAPE VICTIMS SEXY!

[Swiss Servator]

RAPE-RAPE TWICE AS FUN!

[Crusty Juggler]

Sexy TSA worker/fondler.

[Crusty Juggler]

I hope none of you steal my costume for this year, which is "sexy abortion trunk." My upper body will be an abortion trunk, and I will be nude from the waist down.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Are you married?

Just asking.

For a friend.

[Crusty Juggler]

You are barking up the wrong tree, Sailor. I can't be locked down.

[Loki]

Sexy Hillary Clinton?

[Swiss Servator]

STOP SAYING THAT!

[lap83]

Sexy Squirrel

[Notorious UGCC]

I just can't stop myself - how about a sexy librarian?

[Notorious UGCC]

You aren't going to click this time, are you?

[Charles Easterly]

*checks note made for self earlier*

Not a chance.

[lap83]

Sexy anchor baby

[Crusty Juggler]

Good one.

[lap83]

thanks, maybe I'll send it in

[prolefeed]

Adans smith|10.16.15 @ 12:17PM|#

More like with a target on his vest.Remember the Mad magazine cartoon about Frank Serpico? I date myself.

I appreciate that you "date yourself", but just call it masturbation already. Not like you're fooling anyone.

[lap83]

Sexy Reason troll

[Lee G]

Highly improbable at the minimum

[AlmightyJB]

200 comments in 90 minutes?

[Charles Easterly]

The costume doesn't have to be sexy, merely "improbable and irresistible."

Why not Libertarian Woman or Libertarian Women (possible with a small group of friends)?

[Old Man With Candy]

No such thing, moron.

[Citizen X]

Robby Soave's hair.

(I do not use the preface "sexy," because that is understood.)

[Robert]

You know Invictus is reading these & will adopt some as slogans.

[Dr No]

Trick-or-treater: I can't breathe.

Me: Eric Garner?

Trick-or-treater:

Me: Oh. Peanut Allergy? Cleeeever.