Rand Paul

Rand Paul Edges Out Ted Cruz in Straw Poll at Republican Liberty Caucus Convention in New Hampshire

Paul and Cruz sparring over the "liberty" GOP vote heats up; whose votes were more genuine? Foreign policy still a fault line.


Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) beat Ted Cruz in a presidential preference straw poll at a New Hampshire convention of the Republican Liberty Caucus on Saturday, winning 46 more votes than the Texas senator and presidential rival.

Gage Skidmore / Foter / CC BY-SA

The poll allowed people to approve of as many candidates as they wanted, so the numbers add up to far more than 100. Paul got 57 percent approval; Cruz got 51 percent.

The results fit the narrative that Cruz and Paul are fighting it out for the same "liberty" audience within the GOP, and if polls mean anything right now that isn't a huge electorate: current Real Clear Politics polling averages for the two men together add up to just 9.3 percent. 

As Washington Times reported:

"Liberty Republicans have clearly identified these two candidates as the best in a crowded field. They are an inspiration to Republicans around the country and we look forward to a great crop of candidates at every level, ready to go to Washington and restore limited government and a respect for individual liberty," [said RLC chairman Matt Nye.]

Ben Carson was in third place at 18 percent,  followed by Carly Fiorina (10 percent), Sen. Marco Rubio (9 percent), Donald Trump (7 percent), Gov. Bobby Jindal (6 percent) and Rick Santorum (4 percent.)

Catherine Frazier, a spokeswoman for Cruz's campaign, wrote me today that "Sen. Cruz is a natural fit for libertarians given his strong record defending constitutional liberties—particularly religious liberty, the right to bear arms, right to privacy and state sovereignty—these are issues Sen. Cruz has led on both as a Supreme Court litigator and in the U.S. Senate."

Sergio Gor of Paul's campaign says in a written message that "We appreciate Senator Cruz's new interest in Liberty minded voters.  But the fact is Rand Paul has been steadfast and consistent in his defense of the constitution and the limited role of government." Referring to Cruz's vaunted impressive fundraising ($12 million in the third quarter, reportedly another million since), Gor adds, "No amount in any bank account can change that.

"Senator Paul remains the only candidate with strong appeal to real liberty voters," Gor wrote. "While Senator Cruz bought hundreds of tickets and bused people to the recent RLC poll in New Hampshire, he still came up short." (Paul's campaign acknowledged giving some tickets to supporters, but believe their people are and have already been a more natural RLC audience.)

Frazier of the Cruz campaign says they only bought 25 tickets to give to supporters and "did not bus anyone in."

I've seen copies of email sent out before the event to Cruz supporters encouraging them to grab free tickets through an online link and attend the convention. I was unable to get RLC officials to give hard figures on campaign bulk purchases.

RLC Chair Matt Nye said in a written message that "to my knowledge, both campaigns were on equal footing going into the straw poll, and the results are consistent with what we have seen in past RLC straw polls across the country, with the sole possible exception that because we used the approval voting method Cruz appears to have placed higher than in previous polls." 

Dave Nalle, a Texan and former RLC chair who was elected vice chair at this convention, is a current Paul supporter who has also worked with Cruz's Senate campaign in the past. He says he doesn't know how many free-ticket ringers came in for Cruz, but finds it "very unlikely that they would need two staffers and a multi page list of voters [as he says he saw] to handle 25 people." Nalle says that "a significant difference is that the Paul people stuck around, Cruz people mostly came in, voted, looked around and wandered off."

Nalle also thinks he saw Cruz people as being "20 or so years older than Paul people, and our convention is pretty youth oriented."

(There is nothing rulebreaking or sinister about doing what you can to get your people to show up at an event for a straw poll.)

Regardless of why they were there, this presidential year RLC convention (the group, founded in 1991, organizes liberty-minded voters and candidates on the grassroots, endorses candidates, and runs a PAC that fundraises for libertarian-oriented Republican candidates) saw attendance around four times their last one two years ago, says Aaron Day, chair of the RLC of New Hampshire.

Day grants he saw a lot of "new faces," but he thinks that if, say, a Trump or a Jeb Bush had suddenly won a ton of votes, that would have indicated "people coming in to play around with the straw poll. But I do think [the people who showed up to vote for Cruz] are people generally speaking in our universe."

One of the points that might lead an RLC-type voter to approve of Cruz over Paul is foreign policy. "That's the main differentiator between Paul and Cruz," says Day. "It's to a certain degree a division among [the RLC] though our statement of principles and positions are more aligned with Rand" on foreign policy. 

Even President Obama, as Nick Gillespie reported here earlier, is beginning to come clean that any Syrian intervention strategy didn't really work very well, a point that might become more clear to more voters come January.

As Paul campaign spokesman Sergio Gor said in a written message today, "Senator Paul has always believed that when secular dictators in the Middle East are toppled, they get replaced with radical Islam and chaos. For many years pundits in Washington though otherwise, but time and again Senator Paul has been proven right."

Paul's emailed press release statement about his victory at the RLC convention said: 

My message of expanding personal liberty and shrinking the overzealous federal government is resonating from coast to coast. Liberty unites people, and I am honored to win the Republican Liberty Caucus straw poll. I will continue to represent the Liberty wing of the Republican party by campaigning on bold, conservative principles like balancing the budget, restraining the powers of the federal government, and passing term limits to get rid of the career politicians in both parties.

That statement did not mention foreign policy, an area where Paul's suspicion of intervention may seem more important by the time voting comes around next year. Or, of course, it might be something the American people are more scared of depending on what goes down in the Middle East between now and then; Americans aren't always able to see and understand how present crises were caused or exacerbated by past interventions.

There is certainly lots of opportunity in foreign policy for Paul to distinguish himself from Cruz, who just last week wrote a bellicose op-ed about Syria in which, while not being so rash as to openly call for military action against Putin, calls for more flexing of American muscle in the area in order to "demonstrate to Putin that we will not allow him to move unimpeded into the region to advance an agenda that is contrary to our own." There's certainly nothing small-government or liberty-oriented about threatening to re-ignite the Cold War against the world's other major nuclear power in the name of scaring Putin with the power of "American exceptionalism" while further embroiling ourselves in the Middle Eastern quagmire.

Cruz's campaign has announced a slow-n-steady strategy whereby Cruz picks up (ideally as other candidates appealing to these constituencies drop out) the libertarian-leaning, the evangelicals, and the Tea Partiers. The Washington Post via Texas Tribune summed up the fault lines between Cruz and Paul and Cruz's attempts to tap the liberty market.

On another issue that divides libertarians from conservatives, Paul was also asked at the RLC convention about pardoning Edward Snowden. Paul continues to be against that idea:

"He revealed a program that we probably would've never known about had not he revealed it because the government was lying to us," he said. "So in many ways, you could call him a whistle-blower."…

"I think the best compromise on it is that there would be some penalty but that people who are going nuts—which includes half the people in our party, wanting to execute him, shoot him, chop his head off, all this crazy stuff—they're completely wrong," he said. "I think there could be some accommodation. I think he would actually serve some sentence if it were reasonable and were negotiated."

In other Paul coverage, W. James Antle at American Conservative (who profiled Paul for Reason back in 2010) delivers a nuanced look at exactly where and why Paul might be failing, and how his campaign, if worse comes to worse, might at least keep up the liberty-coalition-building within the GOP that his dad Ron started even if Rand doesn't excel in votes earned.

In a horserace democracy, a candidate/figurehead often has to keep an idea coalition going. For those who see hope for libertarian ideas in GOP politics, it is hopeful (at little, I suppose) to recall that the path from Goldwater as a prominent player (1960) to Ronald Reagan as president was 20 years, not eight.

The RLC's Nalle tells me from the perspective of the many activists he talked to at the convention, they are merely pissed off and not discouraged by press that paints Paul's campaign as washed up. They are mostly more savvy about politics than young liberty activists might have been in even the recent past, including being aware that just having the correct ideas does not guarantee a quick victory.

Paul is also back up to 4 percent in the latest CBS poll, above his 2.6 percent recent Real Clear Politics average.

For those who want to really see for themselves how the campaign is doing, the modern media hip Paul announced he'll be livestreaming his entire day of campaigning on Tuesday.

NEXT: Join Reason for a Happy Hour in Scottsdale, Arizona, Thursday!

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  1. Sergio Gor

    Must of missed that one. Was that before or after Swordsmen of Gor ?

    1. I always figured you for a follower of Gorean philosophy.

      1. Fuck…were you on the undernet IRC server during the late 90’s?

        *looks around nervously*

        1. I was everywhere back then…”Tarl Cabot”.

          1. Obligatory:Salon on Gor.

            2000 was a more innocent time, wasn’t it?

    2. Wait, even professional linguists use “Must of” now?

      1. Descriptive…not prescriptive.

        1. Somebody’s had too many Rusty Woodchippers. I don’t hate.

      2. When they do it, it’s very cunning.

  2. Rand should drop and focus on building liberty allies in the senate. Cruz might as well join him by dropping out too.

  3. God, I hate DeWine.


  4. Does Reason have an opinion on the those poor fucks killed in the smart doctors classy ops operating in shitty lands very few docs would op in by super america’s bombs?

    I’m sort of dismayed with the lack of attention paid to this story here, franklio.

    1. more indiscriminate bombing of civilian towns then referring to them as “compounds” or “strongholds” only this time they accidentally hit a target that can generate media coverage because it wasn’t just a bunch of afghans.
      not much to say, they’ve been doing it for over a decade now, i guess they were bound to fuck up.
      or the more sinister opinion; it was intentional to destabilize a region for strategic effect.
      They should get the Hil-dawg to issue the press release; “at this point, what difference does it make?”

    1. “She was yelling at me at the top of her lungs…and to make it worse, I was still nursing a hangover after that cocaine-and-hooker orgy the previous night.”

      1. god cocaine and hooker orgy hangovers are the worst, i hear ya

    2. White House usher Christopher B. Emery unwisely called back Barbara Bush after she phoned him for computer troubleshooting. Emery helped the former first lady twice. Consequently, Kessler reports, Hillary sacked him. The father of four stayed jobless for a year.

      Hillary’s cruelty aside, government employees shouldn’t be acting as old first ladies’ tech support.

      1. White house employees are given quite a bit of leeway. For all I know, he returned the call on his own time because he was a nice guy.

        Hillary Clinton is a cunt, and nobody is going to take that away from me.

      2. Hillary’s cruelty aside, government employees shouldn’t be acting as old first ladies’ tech support.

        Voters also shouldn’t be electing openly sociopathic people, but apparently she is still the Democratic frontrunner. Go figure.

  5. Looking at the national polling numbers over the course of the campaign it looks like Rand Paul started tanking right after his remarks on the Confederate flag following the Charleston Church massacre. Could be coincidental but I predicted that it would prove to be a big mistake. I suppose a more likely explanation, other than Rand’s disastrous campaigning, is his edge as an “outsider” shifted to those candidates further “outside”.

    1. Was that about the same time he took his obligatory suck-up trip to Israel and Bob Jones of the Burqa University?

      He has campaigned as a SoCon and Huckabee is the authentic SoCon so why should a SoCon vote for Rand?


    2. I think the simpler explanation is that Republican voters as a whole aren’t all that interested in things like “liberty” or “the Constitution”.

      1. They are interested in attacking the opposition. Rand was up big when he was tearing down Democrats. He seemed to miss that the “other opposition” was the RINOs and tried more to sound like them than attack them. Trump is the “anti-Bush” that Rand should’ve been

  6. I notice Reason has all sorts of shows they play and I’m cool with it and shit but Reason falls short on Military critique, frankly.

  7. An important question: Will Paul be streaming his entire day? And if so, how is he doing to manage that whole going to the bathroom thing?

    Yes. Paul does not do leaks like Biden and drip-drip-drip like Hillary.

    1. Who the fuck cares about that empty brained goddamned scarecrow? Seriously? The fucking dipshit is like that starry-eyed weirdo from Arkansas. Fucking what the goddamn FUCK do they feed these people in that starship? FUCKING CIA poison pills? Jesus fucking christ they all look like blank faced chalk eating schmucks like Peter King like eating horse bits in their mouths and eyes dead with being fenced in and beaten with a goddamn whip.

      1. Oh shit, i have ate like 8 vicodin and have been drinking that upside down face 10 percent lovely crap from Michigan all night and so that last post of mine was pointedly pointed with a laser rocket toward that fuck Paul Ryan not the fucking Paul – Rand Paul, whom I love. Jesus Z Christ- fucking fuck all the Paul’s and their odd insertions and shit. Fuck me.

        1. That must be quite some toothache you have.

          1. “That must be quite some toothache you have.”

            Not any more…

        2. Agi you know Cruz is the man right ?

          A man of you inltellect should investigate him deeper than the press.

          Cruz is gonna be Prez in 2016. He is more Libertarian than Paul when you look deep. And most important, he keeps his word unlike most after they get elected.

          1. Cruz sponsored the ETA…. and wrecked a gun with bacon grease… that poor gun

  8. OT: I wonder how feminists who advocate for lowering the threshold for evidence in rape cases feel about this horrible injustice. Chances are, they could give two shits.


  9. Great. So Rand’s the first loser then.

    1. It would be cool if he won the GOP primary then went on to winning the Presdiential race but it won’t happen. I would rather him build a strong coalition in the Senate and be a thorn on the side of the establishment.

    2. Rand was always a loser and he will be a thorn in no one’s side because this is simpleton Murika. In spite of the fact that Rand is a modern day elected Bertrand Russel without atheistic compunctions.

      America today is a lot like old and preceding civilizations where a river splits on strange singulars.

  10. Search this entire site. Very little military injustice aside from what that dude wrote last spring which I actually liked.

    I am a paid subscriber even tho my shit fucking avatar doesn’t show that orange thing and have been for quite some time. And my fucking question is where are the articles on military injustice or do we just bend the motherfucking cops over the goddamn barrel? Sorry, but your site isn’t fucking doing its job unless you bring back that dude that fucked everybody off last spring.

    Fuck the weak military fucks. You go to war to goddamn die for the constitution that sez “bitch, in goddamn AMERICA we can say what the fuck we want to even if it pisses of the millenial jizz buckets on Salon and Mother fucking Jones”

    1. How about a link to whatever you are talking about.

      1. Well, if you take your little fingers, apa odd face, up to the top of the page and click clack a party of terms which include ‘military injustice’….

        Super genius man, that is your link.

        I guess i could fly a fleet of planes to your house with thousands of dictionaries and shit but since I have seen yo lovely face in these parts I won’t finish that assault on a brain loved by the commune.

        1. Agile Cyborg|10.12.15 @ 10:11PM|#
          “Well, if you take your little fingers, apa odd face, up to the top of the page and click clack a party of terms which include ‘military injustice’…”

          Damned if I see any tab for that, AC.

      2. Just feed his posts into the Google language translator.

    2. Nuke somebody. already.

      1. Nuke my dick, q. I have hot chicks here I don’t want burnt tho so just smash your nukes directly into my saints.

        1. Non-critical, non critical.

          1. Twinkie nukes. super sexual nukes then. Well deep story on those. twinkie nukes are soap nukes. they wash you and gps your unclean parts and wash them with jesus spit. and all and then if you turn over on a table anywhere that nuke will shine sweet lasers right into your butthole and softly cleanse it with drums. drums on the asshole .. so fucking saintly.

            1. A Manhattan Man is badly immortalized by a drink. A drink, perhaps, is all we have left.

              1. Q, we have wavelengths and microscopes and genes and tiny toads and tall grass and oak bark and leaves that are super crispy. And an odd fellow the lives next to the field that wears purple pants and no shirt and his nipples seem way to fucking large for a boy.

  11. Young people need discipline, say young people.


    First Amendment rights need to be restricted, says student newspaper.

    “By hosting a “Kanye Western”-themed raid, Sigma Phi Epsilon and Alpha Phi have brought UCLA Greek Life to national attention for the worst reason. The office of UCLA Fraternity and Sorority Relations must take action to ensure such an event doesn’t occur again on our campus, and the university must recognize the need to prevent racist incidents that don’t necessarily target, but nonetheless demeans UCLA’s black community.”

    editorial by the student newspaper’s editorial board

    1. Eddie, here’s some help:
      “Sig Ep and Alpha Phi draw criticism after ‘Kanye Western’ themed raid”
      “… guests dressed in baggy clothes, plumped lips and padded bottoms, or as “Kardashians.””

      Not sure how you dress in ‘plumped lips’ and I’m pretty sure that would be easily ‘seen’ where it wasn’t by aggrieved parties. But baggy clothes are now racial markers? And “Kardashians”? Did Kim turn black when she married Kanye? Are Armenians now a “race”?
      Is UCLA trying to compete in the ‘Greatest Victimhood’ event?

  12. drops of light fall on my walk, man,
    as I park my car next to a mountain
    spilling fountains of suns but I knew this
    so I packed some goddamn sunglasses
    and opened my trunk because a bitch

    needs water on a trail into a dizzying array
    of what the fuck
    so I got my water and looked into the
    side of the mountain and I saw like
    a keyhole? yea, I saw that
    and so I thought maybe I should find an
    animal shaped liked a key or not? I don’t
    think keys come in animal shapes. Eh,

    I picked up a bikini on the beach in the
    shape of a key and I ran into the junk
    of palms and jungles and with this bikini
    I asserted I will find odd plans for things and such
    but I fell asleep on top of a very tall tree until
    that strange bitch that sings shit comes back
    and, oh, she has so off we fucking go

    wait, fingers, am I actually living this or are yo bitch
    ass fucks typing what I’m supposed to be dreamin’ of
    because if I am supposed to be living a dream you FUCKING
    fingers get me some piles of girls written in maybe brunettes, blondes, ebonies, asians, chzecks, russians, brazilians…

    crap, yea that is a broad story very few have written of because those universes are screaming with a super male can handle a mansion of twisters and thunderstruck boyo and shit but, fingers, pound some keys and make out with a wizard.

  13. Rand Paul 2016!

    1. Rand Paul is the goddamn revolver of peace
      Rand Paul is the light unto the number of my loving fucking pianos
      Rand Paul is the cum spilling from my dick
      Rand Paul is 2015 Jesus
      Rand Paul is a million piano strokes pounding out philosophy super awesome Bertrand Russell jerked his cock off too and Nietzsche said no fucking way Russell you fucking whore
      Rand Paul is an adorable political saint
      Rand Paul is a fucking knight dancing in the bands of Elijah and some form of evolutionary float about and shit.
      Rand Paul is American cock
      Rand Paul is the best tune that geniuses play on the hearts of living that fly for liberty mountains

      1. Rand Paul is more Austrian than Salzburg

        1. Elijah strolled into this fucking thread
          and the space prophet cast about left and right and
          Elijah makes a chariot and sez his horses will play trumpets and those
          trumpets will find a super Q.
          And Elijah whopped his team of super horses across the earth and universe
          and they all fucking ran and ran and ran
          and they stopped finally when a Q vibe was picked up and
          Elijah took his whip and made a lasso and swung it and captured a Q and Elijah
          and his space horses from the OT swung down like sweet chariot coming for a carry Q home.

          1. Behold, charioteers, I wield a pounce wheel. This rapture of me will be prickly and unpleasant.

            1. A pounce wheel will leave marks, but Q, as a former ninja I request that you need a new tool to protect your fucking people, man, as they assault your people. Defend your muralistic self from nasty deeds. A kick to the heart can stop it. Always punch a heart with the energy of four slugbugs.

              1. I have a staple gun. I have an air compressor. I have thermite when the shit drops. I can fake being pleasant. I think I’ve got it sorted. Also, I have a pounce wheel.

    2. Liberty for 2016! Everyone else is a slaver with their own flavor of the theft of other people’s labor.

  14. Rand Paul is the modern American Dick.
    Rand Paul is modern American power.
    Rand Paul is pure American muscle.

  15. I will fucking dance on your goddamn foreheads bitches
    I will throw your asses down on fucking dance the fucking atoms on your goddamn spaces
    I won’t fucking jab my high heels into my reason boys and babes but if I can bloody the odd fucking barbarian running the place up the side of head I’d love to. I don’t want to kill them I want to tattoo them with amazing grace razor heels.

  16. On the odd night a piano being assaulted with ninja fingers makes my cock hard.

  17. I love rap but rap is dead. It’s fucking boring crap that I guess the boys at WorldStar thinks keeps that crap money rolling in but rap sucks and pop sucks. I love Miley Cyrus and her body and I like 4 of her songs but Miley is dead and she is still sexy, tho like her dad.
    The Kardashians are a cable TV odd couple that never seems to end but we all know died long ago and not because of any hate or anything. Don’t FUCKING DROP GODDAMN SCOTT and expect me to FUCKING respect your shit you goddamn bitches. I liked Scott. SCOTT is the Kards. And Kanye is an entire different indian village that I do NOT fucking understand how cable TV ties to his weird ass wife… Far as I’m concerned I like Scott. Period. All the others can get rich and live pleasant sweet lives but I liked Scott and I’m pissed at this shit I pay money for and crap.

    Scott disick was real in the midst of the unreal. And FUCK the KARDASHIANS and his fucking wife for offing his shit. Boy couldn’t hang with that gang but I like my indian, scott.

  18. Is it possible to drown in knees?
    What can i frown in? Like a fucking illam asshole shitting on my face? yea

    1. You can drown in knees, while getting attacked by bees, of which either could give you a nasty disease, which might kill you no matter how much you say Doctor please!!

      But I have the cure and will fight for you and keep you from the sleaze, keep you warm so you won’t freeze and shoo away that dirty cock tease.

      1. a vampire fluttered in, self. I have a shotgun and ribs and cocaine. hard choice for a vampire I guess or not.

      2. what a lovely set of bloody lines. shit, Vamp.

  19. Minecraft I found your song by Floyd Cramer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWzsMqaUVUI

  20. a field of soft roses bent under
    the coming winds and my hands
    sought to pick the special strong
    rose as the field looked to me
    and the roses under the storm
    clouds had not eyes but their petals
    pointed and screamed to me but
    I could only snatch a few as the
    roses cried. I pulled a few lovely rose
    petals from that field but I cried
    as I left as the storm rent the flowers
    into pieces and I stopped my truck
    on churt while the Tennessee winds
    passed in the valleys and the roses
    that died reminded me of my Reason
    brothers and sisters…

      1. Roses love vampires. And comets want vampire power to make gardens on pluto, but that means your arms and legs… well let’s forget about that/ roses love vampires.

  21. FUCK GODDAMN Space if it can’t motherfucking handle a simple physics relaxation junk yard dog the rocking chair. FUCK SPACE if it can’t handle a simple rocking chair. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

    I am powerful but i like to rock. on a chair. from time to time. Fuck your stationery crap. and statues.

    I want to smoke up and rock and listen to old outlaw country and fly to planets. So what? Fuck you.

  22. I bring with me blood stuff, and food for you that’s hot. It would be unwise for you to pull the trigger and realease all of my brains and snot, for your enemy I am not. Look, I even have my own sleeping coffin cot, while I dream, I relish in the fabric smell of old rot, knowing that the journey of carrying this heavy ass thing has seen its last trot.

    For I have found my one true spot, it’s here at Reason with Agile Cyborg and my favorite lot.

    1. I fucking love a vampire king. I fucking love to blend my portal wings with the blood of a vampire king.

    2. Vampires love old worlds and lost souls.

  23. I remember bunker hill in my childhood
    all of our parents hated us visiting that hallowed
    land but our religion oppressed boy minds made
    way to that lonely pile of sand next to the creek
    behind the old houses and when you are 8 every
    fucking thing is spies and jesus and rockets and porn
    and parents wielding machine guns and regulations
    and we’d do our homework and scatter to the
    piles of dirt and share pictures and stories and
    look in each others faces and touch each other on the
    arm or two and

    today?… kids have to be careful to avoid the goddamn local
    cops and the fucking shark hunters in the local school systems
    and the parents are now imbued with tools to kill all kids
    being kids.

    Society from the goddamn local motherfucking president down
    to the goddamn local sheriff and his stupid ass deputies because
    sheriff’s are so FUCKING imbecilic they will always hire handcuff kings

    so,,, lets tie kids into knots and make them possum meat or Gawker mill meat.

  24. Hello darling Vampire.
    I love your fangs on my throat.
    Drifters are found on these railroads, vamp.
    The silver eagles in the leather bags scream for the lost souls.
    and the passing wisps called the angry king and the silver boy
    should make great dinners for darling vampire.

  25. Actual vampire here (not me) and if you don’t want to die don’t jerk your cock off here.

  26. Actual vampire here (not me) and if you don’t want to die don’t jerk your cock off here.

  27. I wish I hung out at bunker hill, was that where you did your first pill? Was it horrifying, or a big thrill? When ur parents found out did they respond in shrill, or break out some burgers and cook them on the grill?

    Man, if they were pissed, they must have beat you and forced you to work at the lumber mill, probably with some giant named Gill, who used to threaten that he’d feed you to Will.

    1. the vampire is super knowledge. I am fucked gone but vampire knows agile. Dude, I am tripping so hard and this sweet beast knows my fucking shit.. the vampire is clearly a spaceship into my fucking brain…. I love you vampire.

  28. Vampire poem:

    The old tired hoods
    the vampire walks among
    are many in this America
    the vampire once had to work to
    eat but in 2015 late fall
    the vampire will walk proud
    among the land.

    He or she will take the grand tour
    of a lonely house called the America
    a separated chilling place. the big rare
    cities and the thousands of vampire
    towns and the lonely walk of
    the blood seeker with his wings
    bent on his back seeking satiation
    from a loving American
    seeking to be a blood temple… but
    the American tired towns
    depress the halloween vampire and
    the winged demon slinks off into the
    step off and finds mining underground
    bursting with pawn ships and above
    the earth lies the amazing grace of
    Nevada lights and collectible humans
    and our vampire flapped upon the lost
    and found the willing under the neon.

  29. im juxtaposed to all my pros those illest people i know
    Im the libertarian mistaken for a veterinarian librarian who is smoking like a Rastafarian im little jewish boy opposite of the aryan
    not hitlers dream hitler’s nightmare
    say what you will about hitler, but i think he had nice hair,
    Regulate me see if i care
    im breaking through all the chains of the government ill limit it.
    the debts outtta control thats just arithmetic

  30. Was that my dinner bell that rang? Is this where your neck meets my fang? This is a wild ride, not no bullshit gang, where we wear high socks and constantly say Meng!

    When I bite, this is the song you sang, you can’t take it back, just like you can’t ignore the telephone that rang. I’m very thirsty so you will feel drained then be revived with a sudden bang, it’s all ok you’ll be free like a mustang.

  31. Creeping like im Biden
    more pumped than the old spice man
    chillin slitherin getting drugs deliverin from the darknet
    safety last never with the harness

  32. “Uh, motherfuckin’ microphone checker
    Keep that grip tight, like my Smith & Wesson
    Ike with the mic, which nigga tryna turn up?
    Hit you with the hurtful fuckin’ truth like Sojourner”

    1. woody is the sweet home of the valleys where the camp meetings gather
      and the woody is light clouds and soft meetings under the Virginia sky
      where light arms gather and call for the fucking love of a nation with
      the goddamn shotgun under the seat.
      and woody the fucking chipper is the new heaven.

  33. the vampire is a trip wire of time and I just want the son of god to love him and offer him lovely peace.

    vampire, love, walk in the garden of my love you sweet darling of my memories.

  34. How would you like coming home to that every night. Think I’d rather come home to Trump.

  35. fucking vampire knows this fucking agile c , man.
    fucking jesus. agile is being eaten by a vampire.
    fucking soul is like fucking whoa motherfucker.

  36. i love you vampire.

  37. vampire haunting agile tonight and
    vampire is so fucking lovely so

  38. vampire fucked up agile for real bros…
    vampire is some real shit and fucking castle.

    1. Heroic Mulatto is the ultimate Pokemon.
      Sorry, if Asia is making Pokemon your
      artists have failed if you haven’t named a goddamn
      Pokemon Heroic Mulatto.

      Fucking Pokemon named Heroic Mulatto?
      WHat a friend we have in Jesus?

    2. Time for Rousy to go Foreman and fight 5 chicks in a row. Cosell’s commentary on his own network’s product is awesome.

  39. vampire used old deep night terms,,,
    the light and night mixes like the goddam marble
    and vampire fucked agile up with motherfucking letters becay
    vampire is a real lion and lies beside baby lions or vampire is a reader and collects
    the voices of letters of the minds and mind collector
    or vampire is a netter of fonts screamed from the months from the angry fields of sway
    or vampire is a spaceship that is strong and we below are fucking weak fucks even though we think we are strong.
    vampire is flapping above us collecting our shit and fuck
    vampire might be a sweet yet powerful librarian collating all the fucking things because he or she is brilliant but not likely to show face except on the ghostly days and walks in the garden with
    jesus and the spirits.
    well as an atheist I am open to all sorts of delights and the vampire is so intriguing that in spite of my drugs and booze I would love to fuck the vampire-

  40. it is an odd thing how bottles empty so quickly, boys and star angels.
    and my pills are gone. and i can only type
    silly shit . the vampire has flown and that was a fucking striking experience and i think the angels told him about me. he used will and gill and angels told him which makes him and archangel and sort of horrifying.
    I don’t think you people even understand that but it is ok and all.
    i don’t believe in archangels either but tonight i believed in one. a FUCKING vampire and crap you
    fucking reason shit.

  41. I fucking hate empty bottles. I hate an orange bottle with no pills. I hate a glass table with no powder. I hate books with no demons. I hate clouds with no rain. I hate a rugged cross with no crown. I am an atheist but i love the spirituality of christian religion. Calvary, arisen, rapture, spirits and crap….

    no disrespect but the dots and kinetic energy of emotions of the worshipping heart is fucking beautiful like vampires crying for soft hearts

  42. The libertarian spirit is earnest
    and heartbroken for the fallen
    and despised hearts so trodden
    under the violent disregard of
    powerful kingdoms.

  43. I think space is super empty of cock and pussy.

    NASA, if you people make towns in space floating above shit here don’t allow the fucking politicians access to our bedrooms because I like to see fat cock in my wifes pussy and I want to own a bedroom in your town above earth drinking booze and smoking weed with a huge erection watching my wife’s pussy getting pounded by a handsome hot cock next to the moon.

    P.S. I love ebony and asian astronauts and enb.

  44. i have to go because I am going to take even more drugs that paralyze my fingers but not my mind…
    but i love you dear sweet reason gods, queens, and scribes

  45. i have to go because I am going to take even more drugs that paralyze my fingers but not my mind…
    but i love you dear sweet reason gods, queens, and scribes

    1. Reason covered the hospital bombing but no real follow up to it


    2. So, are you endorsing Invictus for FL state senate? I mean I’m sure you agree on his take LSD and practice sorcery stance, but where do you stand on taking your girlfriends to strip clubs and seducing the dancers?

  46. Completely OT: Does anyone have tips for eradicating mice?

    I saw one in my house a few days ago. It ran back into this closet, which has an awkward gap where the heating duct comes out from the crawlspace. I know I have to get that hole sealed up. But in the mean time, what’s the best way?

    Tonight, I’m leaving out some big plastic jugs (that once contained protein powder) with a napkin on top with a glob of peanut butter in the middle. Someone online said that the mouse will walk onto the napkin to get the peanut butter and fall in (I’ve made a little ramp of books beside it so they can climb up there). It’s all I can do tonight, so I figure it’s worth a try.

    I ordered some of the old-school Victor brand snap traps. I might buy some glue traps, too. I’m trying the catch-and-release method just because it’s all I can do tonight, and because I’m a nice guy, but I’m totally willing to use deadly force. Those fuckers carry diseases.

    I’d appreciate any tips.

    1. .22lr subsonic.

      If that doesn’t work, I was at Home Depot yesterday and they had a whole pile of mouse stuff, some of it lethal, and some of it “humane”. It’s that time of year, and everything is on sale….

    2. For the snap traps, apparently peanut butter is like crack to mice.

    3. Borrow a cat?

      1. Yeah, let some cat earn its keep for once.

        1. Also I’ve had some luck with the glue traps before.

    4. 5 gallon bucket like home depot has, fill up with 1 gallon of water and coat the walls liberally in petroleum jelly then place a stick across the top with vasaline only on the areas closest to the middle and a dab of peanut butter directly in the middle.
      you can get about 25 to 30 pending on how big they are before there are too many for the others to drown.
      One of the farmers near me showed me this trick, i only need to do it at the end of october and the start of spring to keep the rodent population in check. oh and empty it every night, and do not leave one out if you are out of town, it gets fetid if you forget and the smell is damn near impossible to get out of the house
      50 some odd week old rotting waterlogged rodent bodies is the most fucking putrid thing to smell

      1. for effect you can always toss the bodies in a woodchipper and fertilize your garden

  47. To the staff of reason;
    Why is there no coverage whatsoever of the LP primary and a sole focus on the worthless oligarchy candidates who will do nothing they promise and are only capable of bringing further ruin to the republic?
    My favorite is Darryl Perry in policy, however I think Derrick Reid is a better suit for the transition from the status quo to the “Libertarian Moment”
    how about some coverage of people who matter?

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