Teen Boy Suspended for 'Inappropriate Touching'… During Football Practice

Looks like the teen was framed by a bully



Is it possible to play football without touching another person? That's the question Garrett Moore—a Salem, Oregon, high school student—will be pondering while he serves his three-day suspension for inappropriately touching another player during a practice snap.

The Statesman Journal interviewed Moore; it seems fairly clear that the teen is not some kind of pervert, but rather, the victim of a bully who was trying to get him in trouble:

Moore said he was instructed by a coach to take a snap under center, which is when the quarterback has the ball handed to him from the center.

Centers snap the ball from the ground between their legs for the quarterback to grab. To take the ball, quarterbacks must place their hands between the center's legs and up against the crotch.

The center was a player with whom he had problems, including the player pushing him to the ground earlier in practice.

He said the center instructed him to take the snap farther forward in his stance than he had with other centers.

"He wanted me to go way up there and it felt very uncomfortable," Moore said. "I was, like, moving my hands and I touched him and he started laughing. I guess I tickled him. I wouldn't mean to. That's kind of weird."

Later, the center walked up to Moore and kneed him in the crotch. The coach scolded the center for doing that. The next day, Moore was called into the principal's office; the center had accused Moore of grabbing him during the snap. Moore gave his side of the story, but was then called back to the principal's office—this time, in the company of a security guard:

Moore was again called to Miller's office and this time escorted by a security guard. Moore said Miller asked if he had tickled the other boy while taking the snap in practice.

"I'm like, 'I guess,' " Moore said. "He was laughing when I touched him. I didn't mean to say tickle. I said tickle because he laughed.

"He calls my mom, makes it sound like I'm a complete pervert and she comes to get me."

Moore's disciplinary record will now reflect that he was suspended for inappropriately touching another student, unless his mother can persuade the school district to overturn his punishment.

We don't have the other student's side of the story. But it sure looks like Moore's adversary either planned to humiliate him all along, or decided to play the victim after he got in trouble for roughing up Moore. Either way, the school isn't doing anyone any good by pretending that unintentional inappropriate touching during football practice is a suspension-worthy offense.

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  1. Wait a minute. Football has homosexual overtones????

    *Slaps Jesse’s ass, snaps Tonio’s ass with a towel, hold hands with Rhywun as we walk out of the tunnel*

    1. Hey! Leave some for me!

    2. Back to the pile!

    3. Yeah, this is some prison shit.

      1. Football is an important part of the school-to-prison pipeline.

    4. Ow! [looks coyly at Warty]

    5. Tease.

  2. So, how is kneeing someone in the groin not “inappropriate touching”… or you know “assault”?

    (Not that teenage boys in school should be charged with assault over every altercation).

  3. So based on this information, one kid sexually harassed another kid, and the victim was suspended.

    School assists in bullying, news at 10.

    1. I wouldn’t call it sexual harassment. Only because I don’t think the kid playing center did it for sexual gratification and he didn’t touch the other kid in a sexual way.

      But the kid certainly sounds like a dickhead based on what is printed here.

      1. Seems like he did it to sexually humiliate the QB though.

        1. I don’t know. That seems like a stretch to me. Humiliate? Maybe. Sexually humiliate? I just don’t see it.

          I wonder if the kid can compel all of the other players to testify that the bully committed assault and battery by kneeing him in the balls. That would be my next move: a criminal complaint followed closely by a civil case against the school for not providing a safe environment free of physical assault.

          1. Well, there aren’t really nonsexual reasons for it to be humiliating to make another guy touch your junk.

            And the whole way he sold it really tilts toward that, IMO. Otherwise what’s inappropriate about the touching? He didn’t get hurt by the tickling, and he made this guy seem like a pervert to the administration.

            1. I see your point. I just doubt this moron was trying to do anything sexual. He just wanted to make the kid feel like a goof.

              I’d be willing to bet he went to the admin and pointed the finger because he was afraid the other kid would get there first and he wanted to be the accuser rather than accused. Because it’s probably still easier to say “I kicked him in the balls because he grabbed my junk” than “I didnt kick him in the balls because I made him touch my junk. He’s lying!”

            2. nonsexual reasons

              Sure, the grossness of a quarter seasons worth of unwashed spandex/jockstrap etc.

            3. Well, there aren’t really nonsexual reasons for it to be humiliating to make another guy touch your junk.

              Except from the whole ‘making someone else do something they wouldn’t voluntarily do otherwise’ power trip part.

              And then kneeing them in the groin afterwards.

              You’re a woman, isn’t everything supposed to be nonsexual and all social order mind-control games?

    2. Nicole, wouldn’t “encourages” actually be more correct than “assists”?

      1. Don’t encourage her

        1. Unfortunately, that is far out of my control.

      2. The school suspended the alleged victim. Immediately, that’s not an act of encouragement; it is an evil added, contributed to the bullying effort. The school assisted and (thereby) encourages.

    3. It looks like the school really…

      [dons fedora]

      …fumbled the situation.

      1. +1 Grantland Rice

  4. Jesus, who still takes snaps under center? Even my nephew’s pee-wee team goes exclusively from the shotgun.

    If anybody should be suspended, it’s the offensive coordinator for living in the past.

    1. Do they really not take snaps under center in high school any more? I haven’t seen game in ages…

      1. I haven’t been to a high school game in a couple years but I didn’t see anybody taking snaps under center in the games I went to for at least five years running.

        1. Even the shitty 1A schools that can barely afford equipment don’t spend much time under center.

        2. So you’re telling me that in high school football, if the ball is on the one foot line, they don’t do QB sneaks?

    2. “Jesus, who still takes snaps under center? Even my nephew’s pee-wee team goes exclusively from the shotgun.”


      That makes no sense.

      1. Under center vs shotgun snap explained: http://amfootball.isport.com/a…..n-football

        FTA: The Two Types of Snaps
        Depending on the play being run, the offensive formation being used, or the overall scheme employed by the coaches, the play starts with one of two types of snaps:
        Under center: This snap occurs when the quarterback lines up immediately behind the center, and the QB puts his hands between the center’s legs.
        Shotgun snap: When the quarterback (or running back, in some instances) lines up several yards behind the center, and the ball has to travel through the air, it is a shotgun snap.

        what part makes no sense?

        1. Shotguns! In school!?

        2. The part where they don’t run the football?

          I suppose the read option is from a few steps back. not a full “shotgun” snap.

        3. I know what the different snaps are.

          I meant it makes no sense for a team to exclusively run a shotgun offense. Unless your favorite part of the game is fumbles.

          1. Or unless you run a spread run, a spread pass or an option-based offense. You know, like almost everybody does nowadays from college down.

            1. Clearly the best strategy in football is to limit your options. (pun intended)

              1. How is that limiting options? No one runs the Wing-T anymore either.

            2. Live GILMORE alone, it’s not his fault someone invented the forward pass.

              1. I was referring more to the idea that people are so paranoid about kids touching each others’ bottoms that they throw half the football playbook out, and double the number of fumbles-per-game because people aren’t very consistent when throwing balls upside down.


                  1. I thought mocking people’s speech patterns was Raciss and Classist Intersections or something.

                    also, not really even close to what anyone actually said, but i guess that’s the point.

                    1. It is. And I’m just having fun because I don’t understand the objection at all.

                    2. “” I don’t understand the objection at all“”

                      I said it didn’t make sense to exclusively run a shotgun offense, when there are a wide variety of formations, and a range of offensive styles, that can be run from a direct QB snap.

                      Unless there is some huge benefit to an All-Shotgun offense that has not been mentioned.

                      Also, an observation which i think has statistical merit = “Asking the center to throw the football a short distance is more likely to result in fumbles than simply handing it to the QB between your legs”

                    3. I dunno. All I know is that the spread has been dominant in amateur football for 10 or 15 years, so it must have something to it. I guess the extra time the quarterback has to look around makes up for the extra fumbles.

                    4. “it must have something to it”

                      which is why i asked.

                    5. Yes, a thrown snap does have its risks. However, a handed snap is subject to problems too, especially if you have to switch either snapper or QB, & most especially if the QB uses the up-down-dihedral at the wrists. Sidesaddle (QB facing at rt. angles to the snapper) is more ball-secure. It’s the way Ron Jaworski played at Youngstown St. Col. under coach Dike Beede.

                      However, you can mitigate the difficulty of the thrown snap w children by moving the backs closer to the snapper & keeping the snaps low, as Dave Cisar (Winning Youth Football) found in his single wing offense. I have one back positioned to take a handed snap sidesaddle between the snapper’s legs, and 2 other backs 3 yds. behind the ball who can run onto a blind snap thrown softly past that back. With the deep backs crossing paths, and a flanker motioning across in front of them, it can be very hard for defenses to see who’s getting the ball. Unfortunately we don’t get enough practice reps to do it really well.

    3. We (Cardinals, Jr. PeeWee) use the sidesaddle T at my behest. The QB stands behind the left A gap, hands in “hawk wings” position (overlapping thumbs) in the snapper’s crotch, feet facing the sideline. That way the snapper can hand the ball to him (turning it sideways between his legs) or make a 1-hand spiral pass into the backfield to get it to the pair of deep backs I have about 2.5 yds. behind each guard. The quarterback is largely a blocking back in my system, which is a cross between a fly/jet oriented wing T & single wing.

      And so far we’re the only team in the JPW div. this season using any thrown snaps at all. But the PeeWee div. uses a lot of shotgun & pistol, and HS around here use pistol or shotgun mostly or exclusively.

  5. Of course, the idea of letting them sort this out themselves is obviously impossible. We just can’t have people settling their own differences without a nice smothering authority figure giving out punishment arbitrarily, can we?

    1. It’s not so much arbitrary as it is favoring the first to complain. We’re teaching kids to complain early and often. Nothing good can come of this.

      1. See Something. Say Something.

        -Big Sis

      2. That’s an interesting point. It would then just be teaching the bully to game the system by complaining first. Which goes hand in hand with what Nicole and I say above.

  6. Speaking of football, will Sark make it to next year? After the drunk speech at the fundraiser and the losses at home this year, especially to Washington last night, I’d say his days are numbered.

  7. You know how else had witch hunts

    1. Sir Bedevere?

      1. That was supposed to be a joke about where it happened albeit not a very good one

  8. Next up,baseball players scratching their balls during a game.

  9. Where’s the football coach? Did they ask him?

    I at least hope he has the shithead center running laps until he dies.

  10. Well, it makes the needle twitch, but that’s about all

    1. I need one of those at work

  11. I used to play center. You wear a cup just like everyone else. There’s no “touching” even accidentally.

      1. I was pretty scrawny as a yute but then everyone was. I was a stud in High School. I didn’t get fat till I was 30 after we had kids and I stopped drinking and doing drugs:)

        1. Now they’re grown and out of the house so time to put party mode back into overdrive.

      2. “Are you sure you want to be a Marine, Acky? I just can’t see you having a killer instinct.”

    1. On my if High School team, our starting quarterback did not wear a cup….once. He did not finish the game and was no longer the starting quarterback (we discovered our backup was a smarter player as our starter laid on the bench moaning after taking a helmet to the wedding tackle).

      1. Yeah, that’s just stupid. That is not an injury you want to invite.

    2. You wear a cup just like everyone else”

      A cup? In football ?

      I played 10 years of organized football including college. I have never seen nor heard of anyone wearing a cup at any level. Baseball catchers and I would guess hockey goalies wear cups..

      Wearing a cup for football is asking to get your junk pinched off. We wore jocky straps to keep it all nice and secure and held tight up against the body.

      But a cup never.

      1. Our club requires it of the boys, & even the girls. I never wore one when I was playing rugby, though, nor heard of a teammate wearing one.

      2. I played for years, including college, and coached Pee-Wee and one year of HS. Never wore a cup, and the Pee-Wee rules dont require a cup. They do require a jock strap or compression shorts.

  12. The coach and athletic director should be fired. Why do I say that? Because I always think the coach and athletic director should be fired.

    1. You sound like every USC fan every other year for the last decade.

    2. Who hurt you, FoE? Was it your mom?

  13. I had no idea that football was so much fun…

    1. You have no idea how gay it is. It makes wrestling seem straight.

      1. I don;t think so. You don’t have some dudes dick in your face in football.

        1. and no butt drag

        2. *checks JB’s oil*

      2. But not BJJ.

        Nothing could make BJJ seem straight.

        1. BJJ?

          Jewish blowjobs?

        2. Nothing. Absolutely nothing could make hugging sweaty men seem straight. And yet I love it. How extremely strange, right?

          1. It’s like someone asked himself, “What would be gayer than gay porn?”

            And that’s how Gracie invented BJJ.

            1. Dude’s got skills though. He made fools out of his opponents until they figured it out.

              1. They didn’t figure it out. They learned BJJ and paid a lot of money to the Gracie family to do so. The UFC did exactly what it was designed to do.

                1. “They learned BJJ”

                  That’s what I meant

          2. “Private Lee Lemon may well be the finest recruit I’ve seen in all my years of service. That young man fills me with hope and some other emotions that are weird and deeply confusing to me.”

      3. Ultimate Frisbee is the most heterosexual of sports

        1. It’s just called Ultimate you heathen, and it is glorious!

          (whips off reverse Polish throw)

          1. I played with the best in the world

            not an exaggeration. NY,NY early 1990s

            1. Nice. Very nice. I only got to play with some members of the MIT Ultimate team. They were damn good, though.

  14. Yeah, so the boys are acting like 5 year old’s so instead of telling them to grow up, the adults respond by acting like two years old’s.

  15. The QB should have called for his parents and an attorney.

    1. Nothing makes kids sports more fun than the parents suing the coaches.

      i saw this a lot as a kid

  16. We are in an increasingly dumb age. Exhibit A: this story.

    Exhibit B: the New Yorker ran a fellatory piece about Bernie Sanders, which is too dumb to link here, but it has this cartoon of Bernie as Jesus kicking the moneylenders out of the temple. This is Peak Dumb, right? The public discourse has reached the apotheosis of dumbness, right? Fuck, I hope the Rapture happens soon.

    1. “the New Yorker ran a fellatory piece


    2. HAHAHAHA, it can always get more dumberer. Just go browse Occupy Democrats’ facebook page, or, even better, the people who share the memes.

    3. Peak Derp has repeatedly been disproven

    4. I dont know about your rapture, but Fimbulwinter cant come soon enough (three years of extreme continuous winter preceding Ragnarok).

  17. A few years back, some rookie QB (IIRC it was Eli Manning) was quite surprised in practice to find, when he went under center to take a snap, that the center had pulled his balls out of his shorts and had put them in such a position that Eli (or whoever it was) had to go through the balls to get to the football.

  18. It’s often difficult for me to get boys to put their hands under the snapper properly, because many of them are reticent to. However, the problem is magnified when the snapper & QB are of opposite sexes. In fact, during a training clinic this spring, I was told not to make a girl a snapper again, just because the club needs to stay out of such trouble. Even putting my own hands into a girl’s crotch to demonstrate might be a particular problem.

    1. “I was told not to make a girl a snapper”


      They are born with natural snapping ability

      1. HM, stop posting under other people’s handles.

      2. I’ll be in my bunk.

  19. Touch down. – Also, knee to the croch, tolerable touch.

  20. Is sport not the institution that exists so that men can engage in homoerotic behavior while retaining their masculinity? Didn’t the Greeks do it naked?

    1. The root of the word “gymnasium” is gymnos. Means “naked”.

  21. I’ve forgotten who first said this, but it’s important to remember that, “True insanity is rare in individuals, but it is common among groups.” Never has this been more important than in the public education sphere. These folks have gone totally bonkers. I remember, as a ute, thinking how lucky we are that mass hysteria could never happen in the US. Wow, was I naive or what?

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