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A.M. Links: Physics Nobel Awarded, Snowden Says He'll Go to Prison to Return to U.S., Biden 2016?

Damon Root | 10.6.2015 9:00 AM

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  • Credit: White House / Flickr.com

    Is Joe Biden going to enter the 2016 presidential race? It sure looks like he might.

  • Scientists Takaaki Kajita of Japan and Arthur B. McDonald of Canada have been awarded the Nobel Prize in Physics.
  • Edward Snowden says he is willing to go to prison in order to return to the United States. "So far they've said they won't torture me, which is a start, I think. But we haven't gotten much further than that," Snowden told the BBC.
  • "The gunman who killed nine people at an Oregon community college said in writings he left behind that everyone else was 'crazy' and ranted about not having a girlfriend, a law enforcement official said Monday."
  • At least nine dams have broken in South Carolina in the wake of the weekend's massive rainfalls, prompting evacuations.
  • An American Airlines pilot died mid-flight between Phoenix and Boston.

New at Reason

  • Brickbat: Service with a Smile By Charles Oliver
  • Let States Build Their Own Highways Congress can't pass a real transportation bill. And it shouldn't have to. By Veronique de Rugy
  • With 3D-Printed Guns Beyond Control, DIY Nukes Are the Chic New Concern Increasingly sophisticated homemade guns are so entrenched cops fear their use by organized crime, so now let's fret over desktop weapons of mass destruction. By J.D. Tuccille

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NEXT: Service with a Smile

Damon Root is a senior editor at Reason and the author of A Glorious Liberty: Frederick Douglass and the Fight for an Antislavery Constitution (Potomac Books).

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  1. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    comIs Joe Biden going to enter the 2016 presidential race?

    The least bad Dem option?

    1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

      Hello...!

    2. expat   10 years ago

      And at times looking like the least bad option period.

      shakes off chill

      1. WTF   10 years ago

        "God love ya!"

      2. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

        Wait until you see him with his squaw with him on the ticket.

        1. expat   10 years ago

          How do you spell that sound you make when you get the "willies"?

          1. Citizen X   10 years ago

            D-O-U-C-H-E C-H-I-L-L

      3. Los Doyers   10 years ago

        Netflix & chill?

      4. Warren's Strapon   10 years ago

        And at times looking like the least bad option period.

        shakes off chill

        I find myself in this frightening situation as well. He seems like the right kind of incompetent. Won't be able to get much done, but won't fuck things up royally like Obama or Bush.

    3. CatoTheChipper   10 years ago

      Sure. That is, if you want the Dems need to crank up the War on Drugs to 11.

    4. BigT   10 years ago

      "least bad" but not least entertaining.

  2. Grand Moff Serious Man   10 years ago

    An American Airlines pilot died mid-flight between Phoenix and Boston.

    The lengths people will go to not to be in Boston.

    1. Rich   10 years ago

      Wicked funny!

  3. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    The gunman who killed nine people at an Oregon community college said in writings he left behind that everyone else was 'crazy' and ranted about not having a girlfriend...

    Do we need to ban guns or do we need to ban women without low standards?

    1. gaijin   10 years ago

      The gunman who killed nine people

      Wait, shouldn't that be re-written as...

      'the man whose gun left 10 people dead..."

    2. Rich   10 years ago

      Surely Democratcare should provide everyone a FWB!

      1. Trump-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

        That's a party platform I could vote for

        1. Trump-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

          Err...on second thought, most proggy girls I've met are crazy, fugly, or both

          1. Princess Trigger   10 years ago

            Beggars can't be choosers.
            Government-provided females are what you get.

            1. CatoTheChipper   10 years ago

              Like everything supplied by government, they'd be expensive and low-quality. And there would be long line to wait in.

              1. Notorious UGCC   10 years ago

                "Sorry, sir, you can't have Candi...Bertha here has seniority."

          2. Tonio   10 years ago

            And that illustrates an important truth about human nature and politics. Progressivism attracts the ill-favored and unkempt and then further reinforces that behavior. Perhaps those women had no strong political preference and gravitated to a group which nurtured and reinforced them. Now, that sort of emotional, unprincipled behavior is anathema to most of us here, but we cannot discount that we rational actors are very much in the minority. Also, the literal social conservatism of many on the right creates ongoing barriers to recruitment and retention - and I'm talking about judgement about mode of dress, not fetii and wedding cakes.

            1. Notorious UGCC   10 years ago

              I've seen attractive progressives.

              Unless I miss my guess, Hayek (the lady with the big boobs, not the Road to Serfdom guy) is leftist - otherwise why would she be so excited about playing the Stalinist Frida Kahlo?

              1. Notorious UGCC   10 years ago

                Check here and here.

              2. gaoxiaen   10 years ago

                +1 unibrow

    3. PBR Streetgang   10 years ago

      Legalize prostitution. Loser gets some action, shoots no one, individual liberty all around. Easy peezy.

      1. Warren's Strapon   10 years ago

        Yup.

      2. lap83   10 years ago

        Most guys who can't get laid don't go shooting up schools. Legalize prostitution, sure. But it isn't going to magically give the potential mass murderers a conscience.

        1. Notorious UGCC   10 years ago

          IIRC, the Va Tech shooter went to a prostitute. He didn't enjoy it and went on a rampage instead.

          1. BigT   10 years ago

            That's a quality control issue. Govt regulations would certainly cure. /s

    4. Rhywun   10 years ago

      Ladies, this mass murder's on you. Again.

      1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

        Seriously.

      2. Red Rocks Rockin   10 years ago

        What's needed is a government-funded program for getting socially stunted incels laid. We cam call it the "Compassionate Pity Fucks and Shooting Spree Prevention Law," or "Elliot RodgersCare."

      3. Sapient Mulch   10 years ago

        Why do you hate robot sex?

  4. Bee Tagger   10 years ago

    Scientists Takaaki Kajita of Japan and Arthur B. McDonald of Canada have been awarded the Nobel Prize in Physics.

    I thought McDonalds were American. Are you sure it wasn't Tim Horton or something?

    1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

      "The Quantum Characteristics of Timbits"?

    2. Trump-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

      Somewhat OT, but oh shit, I just remember today is the 6th. Breakfast all day at McDonald's now. Getting some McNuggets and a sausage biscuit at 3:30 because I can. Fuck yeah!

      1. Rasilio   10 years ago

        It is amazing that it took them this long given that their Breakfast is one of the few edible parts of their menu

        1. Pompey   10 years ago

          Srsly. Hong Kong and probably other locales have the sausage McMuffin with egg on the menu 24/7.

      2. egould310   10 years ago

        Can i get a Bic Mac all day too? I dont do breakfast, but i like hamburgers in the morning.

        1. Elspeth Flashman   10 years ago

          Last time I flew I wanted the lunch menu so bad - so bad! So I had to wait in line from 10:30 until 11 for them to change menus. gah ! The thing was I had been awake since 3:30am to get on a 5am plane.

      3. Kristen Bids No Trump   10 years ago

        This is going to make my road trips that much more pleasant (that's pretty much the only time I eat McMuffins).

      4. Krokko   10 years ago

        +1 Whomlet

  5. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    At least nine dams have broken in South Carolina in the wake of the weekend's massive rainfalls, prompting evacuations.

    Uh-oh. Where's the nearest dome?

    1. gaijin   10 years ago

      At least nine dams have broken

      God dam!

    2. Bee Tagger   10 years ago

      More like Big Jim Rainie, am I right?

    3. Trump-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

      Well, i'll be dammed!

    4. Slammer   10 years ago

      You know who else had their dams destroyed?

      1. Grand Moff Serious Man   10 years ago

        Denmark when the little Dutch Boy got bored and pull his finger from the dike?

        1. Trump-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

          Heheh....you said "finger"

        2. Notorious UGCC   10 years ago

          It's the Netherlands, and it was when the French invaded.

          1. Notorious UGCC   10 years ago

            The French are like vampires...they can't abide water.

      2. PBR Streetgang   10 years ago

        Johnstown?

      3. Anomalous   10 years ago

        Beavers?

      4. Los Doyers   10 years ago

        Saruman?

        1. Sapient Mulch   10 years ago

          Saruman?

          Ent, we have a winner!

      5. Mr Lizard   10 years ago

        New Orleans?

  6. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Evaluating masculinity, hidden sexism, and pumpkin spice lattes

    It's a seasonal item at the school's coffee bars, Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, etc., which if you've taken Intro Economics, is simple supply and demand. If consumers expect that an item will not be supplied in the near-future, they'll buy more of it while it's available. In light of these factors, it's hard for me to understand why some people think PSL enjoyers are out of their mind.

    It all comes back to sexism. People love to hate on what girls like. When I was in middle school, people made fun of Uggs and North Faces and Taylor Swift. In high school and bleeding into college, people make fun of leggings ("they're not pants! Your butt is showing!") and selfies and Instagram and Pinterest and Lilly Pulitzer and flower crowns and crop tops and Grey's Anatomy and mason jars and Starbucks and pumpkin spice lattes. It never ends. The PSL hate seems to me like a symptom of a larger problem: girls don't get to have valid emotions ("You're being irrational. Is it your time of the month?") or likes/dislikes, especially if they're considered "basic". Even when they like something that guys like too, they're accused of faking it to get male attention (fake geek girls, which is definitely not a thing).

    1. WTF   10 years ago

      Satire?

    2. Rich   10 years ago

      bleeding into college

      Bleeding out of what?

      1. WTF   10 years ago

        Her wherever, I think.

    3. Warty   10 years ago

      The poor high school girl who wrote this dumb little essay. The internet is a cruel thing. This is going to be preserved to embarrass her forever.

      1. Lee G   10 years ago

        That is something I'm glad I didn't have to deal with as a stupid teenager. No permanent record of my insipid ramblings from that era exists.

        1. Elspeth Flashman   10 years ago

          I still have some old diaries. I should probably destroy them, they only serve to embarrass me as to how narrow minded and navel gazing I was, all the while thinking that I had such important views.

          1. greasonable (was sthgrau)   10 years ago

            If everyone did that, then you'd think you were the only one...

        2. MJGreen - Docile Citizen   10 years ago

          Many of us breathed a sigh of relief when Yahoo shut down Geocities.

      2. Los Doyers   10 years ago

        SHE A BASIC ASS BITCH

    4. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

      fun of Uggs and North Faces and Taylor Swift. In high school and bleeding into college, people make fun of leggings ("they're not pants! Your butt is showing!") and selfies and Instagram and Pinterest and Lilly Pulitzer and flower crowns and crop tops and Grey's Anatomy and mason jars and Starbucks and pumpkin spice lattes.

      They get made fun of because they have a ubiquitous presence among younger ladies. Or just because men are the worst.

      Even when they like something that guys like too, they're accused of faking it to get male attention (fake geek girls, which is definitely not a thing).

      She seems fun.

      it's not like bacon, burgers, and other manly pillars of food culture in America are "healthy"

      She does not seem fun, although I am going to steal the phrase "manly pillars of food culture."

      1. Princess Trigger   10 years ago

        She's dreaming of "manly pillars"?

    5. SugarFree   10 years ago

      Yes, because "basic" is an insult you hear straight guys make all the time, like, totally.

      Uggs
      They give you cankles.

      North Faces
      North Face. It's a brand. And it's only the herd behavior of you all having them so objectionable.

      Taylor Swift
      All popular music sucks pretty hard.

      leggings
      Men like seeing your ass, unless you are fat.

      selfies
      Narcissism is cool.

      Instagram
      Narcissism is cool.

      Pinterest
      Scrapbooks are cool.

      Lilly Pulitzer
      $100 dollar Target dresses you buy on eBay for $300 is stupid. It's just stupid.

      flower crowns
      These are objectively retarded.

      crop tops
      Once again, not a problem if you are in shape.

      Grey's Anatomy
      This is a retarded piece of shit show and everyone involved in it should be fed to pigs.

      mason jars
      ? Ok, sure.

      Starbucks
      Shitty coffee + herd behavior + have your goddamn order ready when you get to the fucking counter.

      pumpkin spice lattes
      See above + Syrup to cover up the taste of the shitty coffee.

      1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

        Taylor Swift
        All popular music sucks pretty hard.

        There is going to be some bad blood between us, SugarFree, and I am afraid I will not be able to shake it off.

        1. SugarFree   10 years ago

          I don't really mind Taylor Swift. It's better than quite a bit of popular music, but not liking TayTay is not some product of masculinity.

          What the poor dear is really suggesting is that masculinity generates some sort of false consciousness where everyone loves the same things she does, but they aren't allowed to admit it.

          1. invisible furry hand   10 years ago

            That is too confusing for me.

            Here is some Cold Chisel to wash away the confusion

            1. Raven Nation   10 years ago

              My fav Chisel.

              1. invisible furry hand   10 years ago

                What, not Flame Trees? Bow River? Forever now? Four walls? Aah, too many to choose from...

                I'm on a bit of a Chisel kick, as they've just put out a new album, which is not bad. Don Walker's solo stuff is terrific too (he currently plays with a band called The Suave Fucks)

                1. Raven Nation   10 years ago

                  Didn't know they had reformed. I like Khe Sanh because it was their first hit and the original version is kick ass but it's hard to find these days. But, yeah, Flame Trees is up there. Loved Freight Train Heart when it came out.

            2. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

              love that song...

          2. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

            She requires the approval of others. I think a lot of people are like this.

          3. Heroic Mulatto   10 years ago

            I don't really mind Taylor Swift. It's better than quite a bit of popular music

            NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

            1. SugarFree   10 years ago

              I'll take TayTay over Nicki Minaj any day. Minaj sounds like a bunch of retards on helium being scourged with cat 'o' nine tails made out of living cats.

              1. BigT   10 years ago

                "Minaj sounds like a bunch of retards on helium being scourged with cat 'o' nine tails made out of living cats."

                That image makes me a Minaj fan.

          4. Just say Nikki   10 years ago

            What the poor dear is really suggesting is that masculinity generates some sort of false consciousness where everyone loves the same things she does, but they aren't allowed to admit it.

            No she's not. She's just telling people to stop making fun of people who do admit they like pumpkin spice lattes.

            1. SugarFree   10 years ago

              Then she need to be told that I'll make fun of anything I damn well please.

          5. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

            It's time for me to admit that I own the entire Lady Gaga discography - on vinyl. *hangs head in shame*

            1. WTF   10 years ago

              We already knew you were a deviant.

          6. Rasilio   10 years ago

            Taylor Swift was MUCH better as a musician when she was doing Country music. Her pop music has largely sucked ass

            1. Unreconstructed (Sans Flag)   10 years ago

              Her music barely changed...less twang maybe, fewer references to "country" things...but that's about it. My daughter is a fan, and I've suffered through all of it.

          7. Elspeth Flashman   10 years ago

            I like it that my kiddo likes Taylor Swift, but I have no idea what that sounds like. His school has an incredible "popularity" race, and he's mostly oblivious (which is good). But if he likes one or two popular things, I am OK with that.

      2. SugarFree   10 years ago

        Also, either fake geek girls don't exist, or cool girls do exist. They can't both be true. Which lie would you prefer this week?

        1. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

          How on earth do you keep reading this stuff?

          1. Tonio   10 years ago

            Because he's made of sterner stuff than the rest of us, Fist. When Sug looks into the Abyss, the Abyss looks away.

            1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

              I think the Abyss read some of his writings and now can't even contemplate making eye contact with SF anymore...

        2. Illocust   10 years ago

          It's always hilarious to see feminists war on cool girls. It drives them insane that most guys are perfectly willing to hang out with someone who likes the same things they do regardless of gender.

          1. Heroic Mulatto   10 years ago

            I like how she's pretending that the aesthetic preferences of dudebros aren't made fun of.

      3. Warty   10 years ago

        I still haven't figured out what basic means. It's like, normal, but dumb? And like, wasting money on dumb shit?

        Are basic bitches the same thing as woo girls? If not, what do basic bitches say when they're drunk?

        1. SugarFree   10 years ago

          "Basic" just means "nothing special, herdlike, conformist."

          1. Just say Nikki   10 years ago

            I don't know why it's so hard for people to understand when it's...not at all different from it's usual meaning.

        2. Tonio   10 years ago

          To me "woo" describes people who believe in new age crap. So called because "woo" is the stereotypical believer response when someone else goes off about vaccines, or Monsanto or whatever.

          1. Warty   10 years ago

            That's another meaning of "woo". I mean girls who go, " wooooooo!" at maximum volume when they're drunk on Bud Light.

            1. Citizen X   10 years ago

              That's called "Alabama."

            2. blighted non millenial   10 years ago

              +2 Bud Lights. This is my understanding of the woo girl.

        3. Idle Hands   10 years ago

          basic means: average, if your a basic bitch your basically just an average bitch nothing special. It is an unnecessary additional adjective which is an anomaly in an age where most people seem to be saying as little complete words or sentences as possible.
          - Source highschool cheerleader coach.

          1. Idle Hands   10 years ago

            I don't think a basic bitch can be a woo girl because a woo girl is doing something to separate herself from the crowd, but I could be wrong. However if a woo girl is wooing along with her friends I believe she could be considered a basic bitch in that context.

            1. SugarFree   10 years ago

              Being a woo girl is very basic.

        4. Heroic Mulatto   10 years ago

          A basic bitch is one who doesn't make her own shmoney.

          Now, I'm not sure if the term "shmoney" has successfully passed through the white/black music barrier yet, so treat with care honkeys.

          1. Idle Hands   10 years ago

            If you have the schmoney, honey I have the time.

          2. SugarFree   10 years ago

            "hotep" "notep" and "fauxtep" are all in the the barrier limbo still.

      4. Just say Nikki   10 years ago

        $100 dollar Target dresses you buy on eBay for $300 is stupid. It's just stupid.

        If they're buying the Target version, they do deserve to get made fun of.

      5. Rhywun   10 years ago

        I remember North Face was mostly a black thing and then it was just everywhere. When did it become a chick thing? Or is she just making shit up?

        1. Warty   10 years ago

          Related: why did Timberlands become a black thing? Are they still?

          1. SugarFree   10 years ago

            Which came first Timberland or Timbaland?

        2. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

          It is just a brand that has a yuppie, upper-class reputation, at least to the people who are concerned with such things. Clothing that is light, warm and comfortable is something that I am personally against.

        3. Heroic Mulatto   10 years ago

          When did it become a chick thing?

          College campuses (campi?) for at least the past decade.

          1. Rhywun   10 years ago

            Kids these days.

        4. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

          was mostly a black thing

          Or, are you thinking about FUBU? Or Karl Kani? Racist.

          1. Rhywun   10 years ago

            Definitely FUBU. Never heard of the other one.

            Yes, I follow black people around all day and look at their labels. Got a problem with that?

        5. Lee G   10 years ago

          I had a bunch of North Face B quality stuff I bought in China. Usually just a bad stitch somewhere that was easy to fix. At $20 per jacket it was hard to pass up.

        6. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

          North Face is everywhere in my suburb - it's a high status luxury item or something...

          or else there are just scores of mountain climbers in my neighborhood.

          1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

            It is a step below Patagonia. Focus your scorn toward the Patagonia people.

            I have a North Face fleece that is the lightest and most comfortable thing ever, in the history of the world, ever, so I am biased.

    6. Anomalous   10 years ago

      Coffee should be coffee flavored.

      1. Antilles   10 years ago

        Or Irish coffee flavored...

        1. Trump-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

          ^This. Coffee should taste like coffee or whisky. Nothing else is acceptable.

      2. lap83   10 years ago

        I hate Starbucks coffee, which is why I only get the non-coffee flavored coffee when I am there

        1. gaoxiaen   10 years ago

          I understand pumpkin spice, but what is a latte?

    7. Heroic Mulatto   10 years ago

      Author's Note: If you have opinions about my opinion, I'd love to chat. Contact me at...

      Oh, is that so?

      1. Tonio   10 years ago

        Dare you to try and engage her in dialogue. I'm sure we'd see a whiny post about how she was harassed or some such.

    8. Tonio   10 years ago

      Still focused on what happened in middle- and high school. Sad.

    9. MJGreen - Docile Citizen   10 years ago

      Taylor Swift was a thing when she was in middle school? People still talked about Grey's Anatomy when she was in high school?

      People make fun of everything, ya idjit. You're gonna look back on this later in life and be so embarrassed.

  7. BiMonSciFiCon   10 years ago

    Edward Snowden says he is willing to go to prison in order to return to the United States. "So far they've said they won't torture me, which is a start, I think. But we haven't gotten much further than that," Snowden told the BBC.

    "They didn't even ask any questions."

    1. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

      "Ah, oh, no... well, I don't think they wanted me to talk really. I don't think they wanted me to say anything. It was just their way of having a bit of fun, the swines. Strange thing is they make such bloody good cameras."

    2. DEG   10 years ago

      It all depends on how you define the word "torture".

  8. Bee Tagger   10 years ago

    Is Joe Biden going to enter the 2016 presidential race?

    This is the question we posed a group of millennials while the cameras rolled. Let's see who stays awake the longest.

    1. gaoxiaen   10 years ago

      Good night.

  9. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    So far they've said they won't torture me, which is a start, I think.

    In other news, they so plan to torture him.

    1. Trump-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

      Nah, I think he'll just conveniently die in his cell.

      1. Dark Lord of the wood chipper   10 years ago

        Let's hope his father is a superstitious man.

    2. WTF   10 years ago

      Well, they certainly don't want him speaking to the media or going to trial.

      1. gaijin   10 years ago

        Well, they certainly don't want him speaking to the media or going to trial.

        So a small part of Guantanamo will remain open?

        1. WTF   10 years ago

          Assuming he doesn't meet with some unfortunate 'accident'.

    3. Tonio   10 years ago

      There's a difference between enhanced interrogation and torture, Commie. It's not torture when we do it.

    4. DEG   10 years ago

      Dammit... I should stop being late to the thread. I'll just shut up and read the thread now.

    5. BigT   10 years ago

      If Snowden doesn't want to be tortured he might consider avoiding Murica until after Nov 2916.

  10. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Facile quick-draw responses to mass murder

    Moreover, while gun control laws fail to achieve their purported ends, they are not just useless but actually harmful. In practice, gun control laws are about locking up more black defendants in urban environments and giving them longer sentences when other charges and evidence against them is deemed insufficient.

    Federal gun control laws are enforced with greater racial disparities than any other crime, including drug crimes. Fifty-six percent of those convicted for federal gun offenses in 2013 were black. Blacks commit only an estimated 16 percent of mass shootings, roughly in proportion to their share of the population. If the policymakers are aiming at mass shootings, this fact alone suggests that they are off-target with their gun control laws.

    1. gaijin   10 years ago

      16 percent of mass shootings

      Mass shootings...the new nuance

    2. Rich   10 years ago

      Blacks commit only an estimated 16 percent of mass shootings, roughly in proportion to their share of the population.

      *** rising intonation ***

      What about people who identify as Black?

    3. Rhywun   10 years ago

      Fifty-six percent of those convicted for federal gun offenses in 2013 were black. Blacks commit only an estimated 16 percent of mass shootings

      A first-grader could point out the flaw in this logic. WTF?

      1. Mr. Flanders   10 years ago

        WTF is further up in the comments, I think he's in 3rd grade by now.

  11. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    Scientists Takaaki Kajita of Japan and Arthur B. McDonald of Canada have been awarded the Nobel Prize in Physics.

    For the theory that tentacle monsters can carry more bags of milk than anything else.

    1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

      *opera applause*

  12. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Online romance ends with baseball bat attack on 1st date

    They met online in 2013, and though they lived thousands of miles apart, their love blossomed.

    Finally, he moved from Alabama to live with her in Turner, Ore.

    She laid out a romantic candlelit dinner for their first face-to-face date, and told him to close his eyes.

    Then she hit him in the back of the head with a metal baseball bat. Repeatedly.

    1. Grand Moff Serious Man   10 years ago

      Awwww.

    2. SugarFree   10 years ago

      Poor Episiarch.

    3. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

      She moves fast.

    4. Rich   10 years ago

      Bat shit crazy.

      1. Los Doyers   10 years ago

        *Picks up bat, looks up Rich's address in NSA database.*

    5. Rhywun   10 years ago

      It does make you wonder that the guy didn't detect any signs of craziness before, I dunno, moving across country?

      1. Antilles   10 years ago

        Our intense desire to get laid usually blinds us to everything else.

        1. Elspeth Flashman   10 years ago

          Ladies can have this problem too. It depends on how good of a salesman the guy is, and how willing the lady can be to keep turning a blind eye to red flags.

  13. Bee Tagger   10 years ago

    Edward Snowden says he is willing to go to prison in order to return to the United States.

    He then added "But I repeat myself" and thus the long con was revealed. Edward Snowden is the true winner of this year's Last Comic Standing.

  14. SugarFree   10 years ago

    At least nine dams have broken in South Carolina in the wake of the weekend's massive rainfalls, prompting evacuations.

    Mined by the Obama administration in a deliberate attempt at genocide. Obama does not care about Carolinians.

    1. WTF   10 years ago

      I blame BOOOOSH!!!11!!!

      1. Rasilio   10 years ago

        Where's Brownie when you need him?

  15. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Aye - the luck of the Irish:

    Average Irish person has 'been sexually exposed' to 3.7m people - the population of Puerto Rico

    The average Irish person has "slept" with the population of Puerto Rico, according to a shocking health survey.

    A Sex Degrees calculator ? based on the theory of Six Degrees of Separation ? has found a normal, sexually active person has been exposed potentially to 3,742,654 people.

    And research has found 40% of Irish people admit they don't always use protection when having sex with a new partner, reports the Irish Mirror.

    The majority put it down to being caught up in the moment, as opposed to our boozy British neighbours who blame it on alcohol.

    1. invisible furry hand   10 years ago

      The majority put it down to being caught up in the moment, as opposed to our boozy British neighbours who blame it on alcohol.

      The Irish have such a romantic take on their drunkenness

  16. Rich   10 years ago

    neutrinos have mass, contrary to what had been thought

    Oops!

    1. gaijin   10 years ago

      but the f-ing science was settled!

      1. Trump-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

        NEUTRINO-MASS DENIER!!!

    2. The Last American Hero   10 years ago

      Quit fat-shaming the subatomic particles.

    3. Lee G   10 years ago

      Higgs strikes again!

    4. Anomalous   10 years ago

      When neutrinos have mass, do they take communion?

      1. Sapient Mulch   10 years ago

        "Forgive me father for I have sinned. I penetrated...solid matter."

  17. SugarFree   10 years ago

    Hey, everybody! It's the intersectionality shitshow! Everyone is invited!

    Rachel Vorona Cote
    10/05/15 11:38pm
    The things that White women/girls get away with are astounding. No wonder White women are so entitled and oblivious yet they have the gall to complain about sexism but have no problem dishing out racism.

    This type of behavior on the part of White female individuals is what used to get Black men lynched in the past.

    Also, sometimes I wish the phrase "pulling out the race card" would disappear but it's like the bat signal; it helps me figure out who the assholes and racists are by shining a light on all who use it.

    1. Rich   10 years ago

      "I never knew she was scared because she was laughing"

      It's a white woman thing. You wouldn't understand.

      1. Illocust   10 years ago

        I have to admit the one time I was really scared someone was going to beat me up I started giggling uncontrollably. Which really sucks as the drunk sorority girl thinking I was laughing at her anger was not conducive to my goal of calming her down. (drunk sorority girl was pissed that I bought my own house supplies instead of giving her money to do it and refused to move out of my room so she and her friend could have it)

    2. Trump-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

      WtF? When did we start capitalizing the word "white"?

      1. Warty   10 years ago

        A certain species of retard capitalizes race. It's a common retard thing.

        1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

          That, and the fierce desire for cake.

    3. Antilles   10 years ago

      Never understood how white women can be considered a minority group and qualify for Affirmative Action when they are in fact the largest group in the US. About time they're demonized as white men have been for the past half-century. Equality!

  18. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    behind paywall at FT so had to use Zero Hedge.

    Gun Sales Soar After Surge In US Mass Shootings

    Business has been brisk for Larry Hyatt, owner of Hyatt Guns in North Carolina, since the Oregon community college shooting last week that left 10 people dead, including the 26-year-old suspect.

    Mr Hyatt saw an even bigger surge in customers after the 2012 massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut that left 26 people dead, including 20 children, before the gunman killed himself.

    ...

    However, the calls for tighter gun laws lead to an increase in weapons sales. "Once the public hears the president on the news say we need more gun controls, it tends to drive sales," said Mr Hyatt, who owns one of the largest gun retailers in the US. "People think, if I don't get a gun now, it might be difficult to get one in the future. The store is crowded."

    "We don't want our business to be based on tragedy but we have to deal with what we have no control over," Mr Hyatt said. "And after these shootings and then the calls for tougher gun laws, we see a buying rush."

    1. Drake   10 years ago

      Obama is America's gun salesman.

    2. The Shrubber's Woodchipper   10 years ago

      After post-Sandy Hook gun rush, my local store had framed photo of Obama with caption 'Salesman of the Year'

  19. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Vox: Becoming a gun-free society would be hard. But we should still try.

    Yet 15 years ago, legalizing same-sex marriage seemed very hard, and it's now legal in all 50 states. This required Americans to fundamentally rethink how they view both marriage and gay people ? and they did, over time, as they heard reasonable arguments in favor of the change. And this of course isn't the only big issue that Americans are changing their minds on, with views of transgender people, marijuana legalization, the war on drugs, and mass incarceration all changing in recent years in ways that civil rights advocates and policy experts generally agree are positive.

    It will be hard to get Americans to change their views on guns. But with the empirical literature presenting such strong evidence that the abundance of firearms is killing us, it's worth trying ? and it's not impossible.

    1. Warty   10 years ago

      There's a stupid FDR quote that stupid people love. I forget how it goes exactly, but it's something about how the government should try a bunch of stupid bullshit until it finds some formula of stupid bullshit that has the desired effect. It's retarded.

      This is the kind of mind that thinks the quote was something profound. Fucking Vox.

      1. Drake   10 years ago

        "Try everything except less government" or something like that.

        1. Trump-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

          I think it was "Spend other people's money recklessly and without abandon and maybe something good will happen at some point."

          1. Drake   10 years ago

            Turned out that "something good" was WWII.

            1. Warty   10 years ago

              "Waste money and wait for the rest of the world to destroy its industrial capacity."

              1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

                Hey?! We help with that!

                /Hap Arnold and Curtis LeMay

    2. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

      Can we live in a Vox-free society instead?

      1. UnCivilServant   10 years ago

        And give up the lulz? Vox is one of the best comedy sites on the web - endless laughs at their expense.

    3. Free Society   10 years ago

      It will be hard to get Americans to change their views on guns. But with the empirical literature presenting such strong evidence that the abundance of firearms is killing us, it's worth trying ? and it's not impossible.

      Titty fucking Christ. They don't have the empirical evidence, they have a few cherry picked statistics and misleading criteria like measuring "gun deaths". The overwhelming body of evidence, analyzed using at least two brain cells worth of logic, favors gun rights unequivocally.

    4. Rhywun   10 years ago

      Because removing the ability to adequately defend yourself is just like all those other things. I'm sold!

  20. Slammer   10 years ago

    Black metal

    Mgla - Exercises in futility.

    Last night's thread made me dig out some Polish black metal.

  21. invisible furry hand   10 years ago

    The wildlife in the Chernobyl exclusion zone

    1. Rich   10 years ago

      That can't be right, ifh. They're not tumor-infested mutants.

      1. Warty   10 years ago

        Well, they kind of are. It's just that cancer is considerably less lethal than humans.

    2. Citizen X   10 years ago

      The exclusion zone is one of the last places in Europe where there are wild horses and free-roaming bison, if i'm not mistaken.

      1. Florida Man   10 years ago

        Red deer too.

  22. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Historic Pacific trade deal faces skeptics in U.S. Congress

    Lawmakers in the United States and other TPP countries must approve the deal. Five years in the making, it would reduce or eliminate tariffs on almost 18,000 categories of goods.

    Initial reaction from U.S. Congress members, including Democrats and Republicans, ranged from cautious to skeptical.

    Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders, a Democratic presidential candidate, warned the pact would cost jobs and hurt consumers. "In the Senate, I will do all that I can to defeat the TPP agreement," he tweeted.

    Many of Obama's Democrats, as well as labor groups, fear the TPP will cost manufacturing jobs and weaken environmental laws, while some Republicans oppose provisions to block tobacco companies from suing governments over anti-smoking measures.

    1. Rhywun   10 years ago

      provisions to block tobacco companies from suing governments over anti-smoking measures

      You mean the deal is larded up with social-engineering bullshit? I am shocked.

      1. invisible furry hand   10 years ago

        That is something Australia lobbied for, because we are the anti-smoking Taliban. Fun fact: it is now illegal to smoke at bus stops and taxi stands in New South Wales. So commuters are denied their oral fix and get toey when the bus is late.

        1. Rhywun   10 years ago

          Is it even worth asking how they define this? Because unless they draw a goddamn line around every bus stop, it's just another tool for cops to arbitrarily fuck with people.

          BTW, at bus stops if I smoke I stand off to the side as a matter of courtesy. I don't need a law to tell me to do this.

          1. invisible furry hand   10 years ago

            A bus stop is in the eye of the beholder, according to the legislation.

            I've never seen it enforced. BTW. So it's a bullshit law which is not enforced until someone wants to fuck you over.

  23. Grand Moff Serious Man   10 years ago

    "The gunman who killed nine people at an Oregon community college said in writings he left behind that everyone else was 'crazy' and ranted about not having a girlfriend, a law enforcement official said Monday."

    Problem: Losers cant get laid, eventually some snap and go on rampages

    Solution: Single-payer prostitutes.

    But don't worry, if you like your whore you can keep your whore.

  24. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Claim: 'No Borders' Activist Gang Raped By Migrants, Pressured Into Silence To Not 'Damage Cause'

    One Saturday night, as loud music played at a nearby party, the woman was reportedly trapped in a shower block set up near the camp in a pine forest know as Red Leap.

    A gang of African migrants allegedly raped her there, and her cries for help are said to have gone unheard because of the music.

    La Stampa reports that the woman, around 30 years of age, would have reported the horrific crime were if not for her fellow left-wing activists, who convinced her that if the truth got out it could damage their utopian dream of a world without borders.

    But Corriere Della Serra also reports that some of her fellow activists are now accusing the woman of reporting the rape out of "spite," because her group was withdrawn from the camp following a separate controversy.

    1. invisible furry hand   10 years ago

      Rape is wrong, unless we need you to take one for the team.

      1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

        Are we sure it was rape-rape?

        /Whoopi

      2. Mr Lizard   10 years ago

        TEAM SMITH ALWAYS TEAM PLAYER. CARE NOT WHAT TEAM

    2. Drake   10 years ago

      If she reported it, some of these fine fellows might not be invited in as new citizens. They'll be assimilated in no time.

    3. Florida Man   10 years ago

      I'll remain skeptical. It's seems to fit a narrative too closely.

      1. Heroic Mulatto   10 years ago

        Shit, next you'll be telling me Zion has no elders with a protocol!

        1. UnCivilServant   10 years ago

          It's actually more of a framwork, and 'Zion' was a nickname for the vacuum tube computer it was to run on, but we never built it. The people involved in the project might be getting pretty elder now though.

          1. Heroic Mulatto   10 years ago

            Well, shit.

        2. Florida Man   10 years ago

          I would never tell you anything HM. I consider you a sage to be consulted about dat ass.

          1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

            Seconded.

            "Several languages...knowledge of music....knowledge of literature...knowledge of...knowledge of... You're an interesting man, there's no doubt about it. Who told you to take Aqaba?"

            1. Heroic Mulatto   10 years ago

              Who told you to take Aqaba

              It was worth 20 points in the scenario.

    4. WTF   10 years ago

      All immigrants are a positive asset for the host country.

  25. invisible furry hand   10 years ago

    Bacon sandwiches should be banned at work

    1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

      NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    2. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

      Another battle of the war on the manly pillars food culture.

      1. Monty Crisco   10 years ago

        BAM!! What you caused to transpire at that place, I viewed it....

    3. Rhywun   10 years ago

      consumption of pork-related products at work could seriously upset non-Christian colleagues

      Oh UK, never change.

    4. Antilles   10 years ago

      Why stop with work? Ban them at home, restaurants, and the market too. We must be tolerant!

  26. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Obama considering plan to leave significant force in Afghanistan

    President Obama is seriously weighing a proposal to keep as many as 5,000 U.S. troops in Afghanistan beyond 2016, according to senior U.S. officials, a move that would end his plans to bring U.S. troops home before he leaves office.

    The proposal presented in August by Army Gen. Martin E. Dempsey, then-chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, would focus the remaining American force primarily on counterterrorism operations against the Islamic State, al-Qaeda and other direct threats to the United States.

    Obama has made no final decision on the plan, which was developed before the Taliban captured Kunduz in September; it was the first major city to fall to the Taliban since the war began in 2001.

    1. Rich   10 years ago

      Obama is seriously weighing a proposal to keep as many as 5,000 U.S. troops in Afghanistan beyond 2016

      Of course, they'll be *dead* troops.

    2. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   10 years ago

      would focus the remaining American force primarily on counterterrorism operations against the Islamic State, al-Qaeda and other direct threats to the United States.

      So... basically right where GWB left Afghanistan in about 2005-6?

      That fucking surge to 'fight the good fight' in afghanistan cost roughly 3/4 of the total casualties in AF.

    3. Rhywun   10 years ago

      a move that would end his plans to bring U.S. troops home before he leaves office

      Um... we have troops in half the countries on earth. Anyone who expected us to "bring them all home" is an idiot.

  27. Rich   10 years ago

    I'm surprised ifh didn't post this:

    A mathemtical discovery by Perth-based electrical engineer Dr David Evans may change everything about the climate debate, on the eve of the UN climate change conference in Paris next month.

    It turns out the UN's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change has over-estimated future global warming by as much as 10 times, he says.

    Oops!

    1. Lee G   10 years ago

      Dr Evans is an expert in Fourier analysis and digital signal processing, with a PhD, and two Masters degrees from Stanford University in electrical engineering, a Bachelor of Engineering (for which he won the University medal), Bachelor of Science, and Masters in Applied Maths from the University of Sydney.

      SHILL!

      1. Drake   10 years ago

        Hasn't that old MIT physicist been saying that for decades?

        http://wattsupwiththat.com/201.....te-action/

        1. Lee G   10 years ago

          The actual sensitivity to CO2 has been a problem for the warmists from the beginning. They started from assumptions based on decades old research and never challenged them even when their models continued to fail miserably.

      2. Illocust   10 years ago

        Holy cow, people like this are insane. I was reading to take a hatchet to anyone who suggested I go back after I got out of school.

    2. invisible furry hand   10 years ago

      I only read the NT News for the crocodile stories and puns

      1. Rhywun   10 years ago

        What is that, Northern Territory? Stuff happens there?

        1. invisible furry hand   10 years ago

          Oh yes...

          1. Rhywun   10 years ago

            So, the Florida of Australia.

  28. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    The strange death of GOP libertarianism: Rand Paul's collapse and the fading of a political moment
    Consumed by the Trump wave, Rand Paul is all but finished. His failure exposes the truth about the modern right

    In closing, Jerry Taylor writes about issues that libertarians have been successful with over the past few years:

    Libertarians? can take heart from the fact that political sentiment is moving their way in some areas. Gay rights, drug decriminalization, increasing outrage over heavy-handed police tactics, growing concern over an unjust legal system, disgust over crony capitalism, and opposition to military deployments abroad all suggest that libertarian arguments can have political force.

    The thing is, these issues are all areas where libertarians and those on the left agree. Indeed, liberals and libertarians tend to see eye to eye on somewhere around half of the issues (typically relating to civil rights), while they disagree on other things like the free market and income inequality. These issues ? war, civil rights, criminal justice reform ? are what make Paul an outsider in the Republican Party.

    TW: Salon

  29. Lee G   10 years ago

    Some militant Christianity I happened across while searching for something else.

    These same hirelings repeat, like an injured crow, that we are no longer under the Law, that we are under a New Covenant and not the Covenant under Moses, and that therefore this means that no longer should the Church wield the sword against her enemies, that no longer should government enact laws to punish those who preach evil ideologies and doctrines, and those partake in homosexuality and other deviancies.

    People who say such things are enemies of the Church, and are the reason as to why the sodomites are advancing themselves over civilization; why the Muslims have infiltrated the government, and why other false and destructive ideologies have succeeded in gaining the license to murder unborn infants. It is because of Christians who allow freedom of religion and idea, that these ideologies have had the suffrage to influence the government.

  30. sloopyinTEXAS   10 years ago

    An American Airlines pilot died mid-flight between Phoenix and Boston.

    He must have had the fish.

    http://youtu.be/Ir1rzzGugIU

  31. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    My own 'indecent proposal'
    I'm as sex-positive as they come, but the proposition got to me. Was I offended by the offer or simply its amount?

    Dame Magazine Several weeks ago, I received an email from a stranger that said, "Would you like to go out on a paid date say $3,500 & fool around and play for research for your next book?" That question was followed by his name. A date three days hence was in the subject line. At first, I laughed it off; I've been writing about sex long enough to know which emails to ignore.

    Yet I I couldn't stop thinking about it?not the offer itself, which I didn't actually think was real, but my reaction to it. I was offended, but kept turning over that feeling in my mind. Was I offended that he offered me money?or that he didn't offer enough? Was I bothered by his brevity? Why did this email skeeve me out more than the guys on FetLife who send ludicrous propositions or dick pics, with no mention of financial compensation? Or was it something more sinister?was I perturbed by the idea that he'd mistaken me for a prostitute, even though he clearly knew I was a writer?

    1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

      the guys on FetLife who send ludicrous propositions

      The guys in the online fetish community you choose to belong to send you propositions? Get. The. Fuck. Out.

    2. Slammer   10 years ago

      he'd mistaken me for a prostitute, even though he clearly knew I was a writer?

      WDATPDIM?

      1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

        Po-tay-toe, Po-tah-toe.

    3. SugarFree   10 years ago

      $3,500? I'd say he was paying about $3,400 too much.

      1. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

        *gah*

        1. SugarFree   10 years ago

          Sex bloggers are usually pretty gah.

          1. Idle Hands   10 years ago

            somebody has to do it, us good looking people are busy having sex to write about it.

      2. Florida Man   10 years ago

        YUPPPPP!!!!

    4. Heroic Mulatto   10 years ago

      Pictured:The author

      *my reaction*

      1. Citizen X   10 years ago

        What, you don't find strabismus sexy?

        1. Heroic Mulatto   10 years ago

          Strabismus, no. Heterochromia? Yes!

    5. Tonio   10 years ago

      was I perturbed by the idea that he'd mistaken me for a prostitute

      No, didn't necessarily think you were (in the sense of having previously been and currently were) a prostitute. But sex-positive people shouldn't be offended at a polite offer to exchange sex for money.

    6. The Shrubber's Woodchipper   10 years ago

      Was I offended that he offered me money?or that he didn't offer enough?

      We are in agreement that you're a prostitute, now we're just haggling over how delusional you are.

    7. Rasilio   10 years ago

      "Was I offended that he offered me money?or that he didn't offer enough? "

      I thought we had already established what she was and they were down to haggling over price

    8. Elspeth Flashman   10 years ago

      So even though you're sex-positive, you're still an uptight bitch? You're busy othering someone for making the suggestion? What?

  32. AlmightyJB   10 years ago

    Yeah, it's the Apps fault you went to a 3rd world country and got shot because you didn't know what you were doing.

    http://www.cnn.com/2015/10/05/.....index.html

    1. WTF   10 years ago

      I had to warn my wife that GPS units do not recognize bad neighborhoods, and will take you through them if you don't know any better and it happens to be the shortest route.

      1. Tonio   10 years ago

        A while back there were some folks who tried to do an app to help people avoid "sketchy" neighborhoods. They were, of course, demonized as the worst sorts of racists.

        1. WTF   10 years ago

          They were, of course, demonized as the worst sorts of racists.

          Well yeah, it's always been pretty obvious to me why they don't have a setting to avoid higher-crime areas.

          1. Sapient Mulch   10 years ago

            Well yeah, it's always been pretty obvious to me why they don't have a setting to avoid higher-crime areas.

            The black market in GPS units?

            1. BigT   10 years ago

              The NDA sees what you did there

  33. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    yaaayy!

    Karl Marx is 'back in fashion', key ally of Britain's Labour leader says

    "If you look at most of the institutions that are teaching economics today, Marx has come back in to fashion because people have gone back to his analysis of just the basics of how the system works," McDonnell told BBC radio.

    "If you look at our capitalist system, one of the definitive analysts of how it works - not whether it is condemned, or whether it is right or wrong, just the mechanics of how it works, when it was first formed and how it would be developed - actually was Marx," he said.

    1. invisible furry hand   10 years ago

      He also thinks companies should be forced to operate for the benefit of society and the environment (whatever that means) instead of shareholders. He's the shadow Chancellor, so he'd be in charge of economic policy if Labour won the 2020 election. Unless the party comes to its senses and deposes Corbyn, of course.

    2. Free Society   10 years ago

      Well that's ridiculous. Marx had no understanding of how it works. His theory of value, needless to say, is useless. His understanding of the division of labor was juvenile. His concept of justice was warped. And his views on history, the keystone of his whole thesis, is just dystopian fiction. There's nothing to learn from Marx except what not to think.

    3. Citizen X   10 years ago

      Marx correctly pointed out that capitalism is the best economic philosophy at producing technological innovation and generating wealth. It's what he thought should be done with that wealth and technology that was the problem.

      1. Lee G   10 years ago

        He vastly overestimated the ability of soviets to manage those technological changes. It was a doomed economic philosophy from the beginning which opened the door a dictatorial regime.

      2. Free Society   10 years ago

        He might as well have correctly pointed out that water is wet.

        1. Citizen X   10 years ago

          Well, yeah. But compared to what a lot of the left is saying about capitalism these days, that level of awareness is almost sort of impressive.

          Low bar, i know.

          1. Free Society   10 years ago

            Exactly, what makes that concession so notable is that it's very surprising considering it's source, not because it's an original thought or a profound insight. And I view it as more of a begrudging acknowledgment on his part, since he's basically pressed to explain why people in those horrid conditions were so much better off than just a couple generations prior, so he says "capitalism is good, for a time (which is pretty much over now)". That addendum renders his statement only halfass right.

    4. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

      Funny. A pundit up here was saying 'it's trendy to be Conservative'.

      I found this to be very odd. I don't think conservatism in a classical sense can ever be 'trendy'.

      Left-wing ideology and its offshoots; now that's for the trendy hipsters!

    5. Raven Nation   10 years ago

      I still think the implosion of the British Labour party is going to be epic. The only question is whether it happens while they're in opposition or if they come to power, in which case they'll take the country with them.

      1. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

        It will just take one bad recession and the voters will flock to the other party. So yeah, I'm betting on the UK but now with more Venezuela.

        1. Tonio   10 years ago

          IDK, will the immigrants ever abandon Labor?

          1. Tonio   10 years ago

            "Labour," as in the UK Labour Party, of course.

            1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

              Labour is a bit laborious in their belaboring of Marx?

          2. WTF   10 years ago

            will the immigrants ever abandon Labor?

            Nope, which is why Labour imported them in the first place.

    6. MJGreen - Docile Citizen   10 years ago

      That means accepting the labor theory of value and all the silly, metaphysical baggage that comes with it. Moron.

  34. Free Society   10 years ago

    An American Airlines pilot died mid-flight between Phoenix and Boston.

    "Now, it is true that one of the flight crew has been taken ill...slightly ill. The weather in Boston is clear as a bell, and there's no reason that we won't land on schedule, safe and sound and free to pursue a life of religious fulfillment."

  35. Juvenile Bluster   10 years ago

    Cops: We should be able to pepper spray kids whenever we feel like it, even for "backtalking and challenging authority", and we don't have to offer help afterwards either.

    According to a federal district judge, school resource officers should not routinely respond to misbehaving children by spraying them in the face with Freeze + P, "the most intense incapacitating agent available today," which works by inflicting "severe pain."

    Let me repeat that: There was a lawsuit about whether it was appropriate to routinely spray children in the eyes with "Orthochlorobenzalmalonitrile and Oleoresin Capsicum." A group of lawyers put on some nice suits, had their coffee, and shined their shoes. They showed up to court with files in their hands and their faces clearly exposed and argued that police officers should be able to spray children whenever convenient, and did not have a duty to assist the children afterward by washing their eyes or offering uncontaminated clothing.

    Sometimes, the officers would use the spray to break up a fight. Sometimes, for cursing loudly. And sometimes, just for "backtalking and challenging authority." This wasn't done as a last resort. In many cases, it was simply the officers' preferred option. Of 199 students who were sprayed, only one had a weapon. Eleven others were sprayed solely for verbal non-compliance.

    1. Trump-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

      It's for their safety, JB. Stop perpetuating the war on cops.

    2. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

      In one case, a pregnant, 130-pound teenaged girl was walking away from a boy that her family had kicked out of the house that day for stealing. As she fled, he screamed at her. She started crying hysterically, and walked into the school gymnasium.

      Fortunately, a friendly school resource officer was there. The officer handcuffed her and told her to "calm down," a phrase that always works immediately.

      Still crying, she tried to explain why she was upset, and he told her, twice more, to calm down. When she stubbornly refused, he decided that pepper spray would be the best way to prevent her from crying. The girl testified that the spray had a powerful effect, like "someone had cut [her face] and put hot sauce on it." She started vomiting, and an ambulance was called.

      When the paramedics arrived, they told her not to wash her eyes out with water, saying it would only make the burning worse. This was demonstrably wrong; the manufacturer said that washing your eyes out with cold water should be the first step. But paramedics apparently said this to every student who came to them.

      The girl was taken to a hospital, where the officer persuaded her not to seek medical care because it would just waste the day, since nothing would help the burning. Then he arrested her, and she was strip searched at a local Family Court

      1. Juvenile Bluster   10 years ago

        I was just about to go back and c+p that part (stupid 1500 character limit). Anyways, nothing else happened, of course.

        1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

          That link is going to piss me off all week.

      2. Free Society   10 years ago

        Cops are just untouchable criminals of the most vile variety.

      3. Rhywun   10 years ago

        paramedics apparently said this to every student who came to them

        Wut? I know cops are evil and stupid but I would have expected paramedics to be, well, less evil and stupid.

    3. Antilles   10 years ago

      If the cops in Saudi Arabia can beat you in the street for doing something they disapprove of, why shouldn't their US counterparts get to do the same? It's only fair.

  36. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    I don't think I'll be posting the #PissforEquality link via Infowars

    1. SugarFree   10 years ago

      That is hilarious.

  37. Derpetologist   10 years ago

    Spot the Not: Australian animals

    1. kookaburra

    2. central bearded dragon

    3. pig-footed bandicoot

    4. broad-faced potoroo

    5. spotted wobbegong

    6. speckled chazwozzer

    1. UnCivilServant   10 years ago

      There are no animals in Australia, only death spirits and psychopomps.

    2. Juvenile Bluster   10 years ago

      #3 is a PlayStation game, isn't it?

    3. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

      6

    4. Florida Man   10 years ago

      6

    5. WTF   10 years ago

      Ima go with #6

    6. Monty Crisco   10 years ago

      6 ... TOO EASY!!

      And YOU'RE a chazzwozzer!

    7. Citizen X   10 years ago

      6.

    8. Derpetologist   10 years ago

      6 is the Not. It's what one Ozzy suggests as a name for the bullfrog when the Simpsons went to Australia.

      Disparaging The Boot is a bootable offense!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMlWGPt5kPg

  38. Derpetologist   10 years ago

    Spot the Not: Australian towns

    1. woomera

    2. humpybong

    3. mt buggery

    4. gooloogong

    5. coober pedy

    6. boonullabang

    1. Derpetologist   10 years ago

      oopsy- forgot to capitalize; don't tell Nicole!

    2. Lee G   10 years ago

      I truly hope Mt. Buggery and Humpybong are real.

    3. invisible furry hand   10 years ago

      Australia is wholly imaginary, you know. It's an elaborate joke being played by the Kiwis on you all

      1. Raven Nation   10 years ago

        I heard the NRL GF was epic.

        1. invisible furry hand   10 years ago

          Yup, but I didn't watch it as the Bunnies weren't in it and I was feeling bitter and resentful. Also, Queenslanders. But the yummy tears of Wayne Bennett and the Broncos have been delicious and nourishing.

          Fourth day in a row over 30 degrees. Spring, eh?

          1. Raven Nation   10 years ago

            That's miserable early for those kind of temps.

            1. invisible furry hand   10 years ago

              How are things in your neck of the woods?

              1. Raven Nation   10 years ago

                Actually it's one of the relatively brief periods in this part of the world where the weather is brilliant: daytime temps in the high teens, nighttime around 5 or 6, sleeping with the windows open and neither heat nor a/c on. Plus, cloudless skies. We get a few weeks like this in the fall and a few in the spring. Leads to spending time on the rooftop deck with a gin & tonic.

    4. UnCivilServant   10 years ago

      #5 is the opal capital of the world, and its name is an aboriginal term that translates to something akin to "White man down a hole".

    5. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

      4

      1. invisible furry hand   10 years ago

        Oh how wrong you are...

        1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

          I thought that was a tennis player's name?

    6. WTF   10 years ago

      I'll go with #1, and I really want #3 to be real.

    7. Derpetologist   10 years ago

      6 is the Not. I made the name by combining Nullarbor and boomerang. I should have used Malungagoolachuck, also mentioned in the Simpsons episode in Australia.

      Here is the wiki article on Mt Buggery:
      link

      There 2 mountains in Oz named Mt Buggery.

  39. Slammer   10 years ago

    Obama- GOP would have U.S. in 'seven wars right now'

    In a little-noticed White House video released last month, Obama insisted that he even knows exactly how many wars the United States would be in if he had listened to his hawkish GOP critics.

    "Right now, if I was taking the advice of some of the members of Congress who holler all the time, we'd be in, like, seven wars right now," he told a small group of veterans and Gold Star mothers of slain U.S. military personnel.

    "I'm not exaggerating. I've been counting. We'd be in military actions in seven places around the world," he emphasized.

    Warning: Yahoo, probably auto-play

    1. WTF   10 years ago

      "The RethugliKKKans made me bomb Libya!!11!!!!!"

    2. Free Society   10 years ago

      Libya, Iraq, Yemen, Afghanistan... am I forgetting a few more? We could include Syria but I'll be extremely generous and pretend that equipping terrorists there doesn't make us involved.

  40. Derpetologist   10 years ago

    There are rocks in Death Valley that apparently move on their own. It was a big mystery as to how they moved. But now there is answer. It turns out that what happens is that once in a while, a thin layer of ice forms in the plain with the rocks. When the sun comes up, it causes the ice to melt enough to crack. If there is a breeze, the wind pushes on the big ice chunks which then pushes the rocks.

    A similar phenomenon causes ice tsunamis near the Great Lakes:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqptbtwXUCs

    1. UnCivilServant   10 years ago

      I was about to ask "How is this news" but with the date in the link being a year old...

      1. Derpetologist   10 years ago

        It was new to me, [sniff]....

  41. Kristen Bids No Trump   10 years ago

    "The gunman who killed nine people at an Oregon community college said in writings he left behind that everyone else was 'crazy' and ranted about not having a girlfriend

    Sounds like he was suffering from Nice Guy Syndrome.

    1. WTF   10 years ago

      "Nice guys finish last."
      - Leo Durocher

      1. Kristen Bids No Trump   10 years ago

        There is a chasm of difference between a nice guy and a Nice Guy. Like the difference between a libertarian and a Libertarian.

        1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

          A good friend of mine is a Nice Guy. He is one of the worst people on the planet.

        2. Citizen X   10 years ago

          Like the difference between a libertarian and a Libertarian.

          One believes you should be free to sacrifice a goat if that's where your conscience takes you, and the other actually goes and does it?

    2. Antilles   10 years ago

      Any guy who thinks he's entitled to a woman's affection just because he exists is not a nice guy. Like most things in life, that affection must be earned. Or purchased.

  42. Monty Crisco   10 years ago

    27 Ways to be a Modern Man, courtesy of the Grey SLUT?.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2015/10......html?_r=0

    For context, HERE IS NUMBER ONE:
    "When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn't have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small."

    WHAT FUCKING IDIOT PRESUMES TO BUY SHOES ? SHOES!!!- FOR HIS WIFE?!?!?!?

    Odds that you get her something she will actually LIKE and that fits her ? 47 trillion to 1.

    Holy shit, our country is DOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!!! DOOMED I SAY!!!

    1. Trump-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

      This was posted last week. There was much mockery.

    2. Kristen Bids No Trump   10 years ago

      Oh for shit's sake. My squeeze better not buy me shoes (unless they're the kind that turn him on and are only to be worn in the bedroom).

      Plus, he'd be shocked at the prices.

    3. Derpetologist   10 years ago

      George Carlin has a better way of being a modern man:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkCR-w3AYOE

  43. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    keep it classy, joe:

    Exclusive: Biden himself leaked word of his son's dying wish

    According to multiple sources, it was Biden himself who talked to her, painting a tragic portrait of a dying son, Beau's face partially paralyzed, sitting his father down and trying to make him promise to run for president because "the White House should not revert to the Clintons and that the country would be better off with Biden values."

    It was no coincidence that the preliminary pieces around a prospective campaign started moving right after that column. People read Dowd and started reaching out, those around the vice president would say by way of defensive explanation. He was just answering the phone and listening.

    But in truth, Biden had effectively placed an ad in The New York Times, asking them to call.

    1. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

      and more:

      At the end of August, while friends were still worrying aloud that he was in the worst mental state possible to be making this decision, he invited Elizabeth Warren for an unannounced Saturday lunch at the Naval Observatory. According to sources connected with Warren, he raised Clinton's scheduled appearance at the House Benghazi Committee hearing at the end of October, even hinting that there might be a running-mate opening for the Massachusetts senator.

      Biden and Warren were alone that afternoon, and those around them have been particularly secretive about the meeting. Warren's spokesperson didn't return requests for comment.

      1. Tonio   10 years ago

        Well, she is the natural choice. Sanders would scare off too many people, and they need someone other than a white male to balance out the ticket.

        1. R C Dean   10 years ago

          Its been a long time since this country elected a POTUS and Veep that were both from New England. I'm thinking that ticket is going to be a hard sell in swing states.

          1. Trump-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

            The modern Democratic Party is a hard sell in swing states. Contrary to what the Twitter and the MSM would lead you to believe, most of America has not gone full socialist.

    2. Trump-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

      Politician exploiting the death of a family member to score political points? I am shocked. Shocked.

  44. SugarFree   10 years ago

    Burger King's Halloween Whooper turns your poop green.

    1. Kristen Bids No Trump   10 years ago

      And? So do fake blue corn tortilla chips, Shamrock Shakes, and black raspberry creemees.

      1. SugarFree   10 years ago

        Some people don't like their poop to unexpectedly come out strange colors, you poop weirdo.

        1. Kristen Bids No Trump   10 years ago

          you poop weirdo.

          Little do you know....(one of my requirements for dating is I have to be able to talk about poop with my partner.)

          1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

            How you doin?

          2. Trump-o-Matic 5000   10 years ago

            Is this a requirement that you mention at the outset, or do you bring it up once you're well into a relationship?

          3. Mr. Flanders   10 years ago

            Netflix and chill later?

  45. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Tennessee Boy, 11, Charged With Killing Girl After Argument Over Puppies

    She started talking with the boy, who has not been identified, through an open window at his home.

    "He asked the little girl to see her puppies," the neighbor, Chasity Atwood, told WBID. "She said no and laughed and then turned around, looked at her friend and said, 'Let's go get the ? ' and never got 'puppies' out."

    The boy had already shot her in the chest.

    Dyer was transported to Morristown-Hamblen Hospital, where she was pronounced dead. The boy is being held in juvenile court on charges of first-degree murder.

  46. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    something something newsletter:

    Egyptian TV: America Controls the Weather?and Is Using It to Destabilize the Middle East

    America used another means to disturb Egypt by using fifth-generation weapons," Sweilam told The Daily Beast. "[The U.S. government creates things] like exciting volcanoes, earthquakes, and starting fires in some Egyptian villages in the south by using electromagnetic pulses from HAARP system to destroy the Bab al-Mandeb, which is important for the Suez Canal."

    Sweilam points to lyrics by Army of the Pharaohs, a hip hop group formed by an MC from Jedi Mind Tricks, as proof of the conspiracy. For added cohesiveness, he points out that Jedi is another word for Jewish.

    1. Tonio   10 years ago

      HAARP, the Jews, it's got everything...

    2. Rhywun   10 years ago

      fifth-generation weapons

      Rapidly alternate buttons A and X for a volcano-quake combo.

  47. Monty Crisco   10 years ago

    Jesus, the police in this country?

    http://www.sheknows.com/living.....ing-arrest

    From the article:
    "The video is shocking ? there's no doubt about that. The fact that her children could only look on from the back seat of the car while their mother was beaten makes it worse, but by far the scariest part is that before the video surfaced, Hahn was facing charges of felony battery on a peace officer, fighting a court battle that ultimately lasted two years."

    Don't remember seeing this one at reason. Treat her like a rag doll? shit.

    1. SugarFree   10 years ago

      The copsuckers have infested the comments thoroughly.

    2. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

      She was obviously resisting arrest. The mouthy broads in this country who have the temerity to question a police officer deserve to get a smack, or forty-seven smacks.

    3. Notorious UGCC   10 years ago

      Look, the woman was white - so obviously the cops were exercising extreme restraint. They were bending over backwards to acknowledge her white privilege.

  48. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    A Trip to the Kurt Cobain-Themed Haunted House

    The next room was lined in silver and featured Kurt and Courtney dancing drunkenly to some random dance music. As we entered the room, they turned to us, holding a baby doll and said, "Do you want to hold it?" Again, another loose reference to Montage of Heck, which includes several uncomfortable scenes of Kurt and Courtney being too fucked up on heroin to take proper care of their child.

    The following room was one of the most imaginative, because it was staged in a way to suggest it was a nightmare Cobain may have had after his death. In the middle of the room, lit in dark red hues, was a bed with Courtney lying seductively, dressed only in a negligee, with three Billy Corgan lookalikes (complete with ZERO T-shirts) circling around her menacingly. The last room would also stage a possible post-mortem "worst nightmare" of Cobain's, but first there was another room that was the most meta. In this space, Kurt sat on a chair with several men dressed in all black circling around him saying stuff like "kill the junkie" and coming up to the haunted house guests and saying things like "you're a pussy" directly in your face.

    1. Swiss Servator   10 years ago

      Epi's home?

      1. Bobarian (Would Chip Her)   10 years ago

        The similarities between Epi's Mom and Courtney Love are too vast to be coincidental.

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