Opposition Vote on Iran Deal Fails in Congress, U.S. Building Wall in Niger, Arctic Mosquito Showing Up Earlier: A.M. Links

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  • Lauren Cuiler via ABC

    The White House says Pope Francis will not speak to domestic issues on his visit to the United States, while the pope does not plan to meet with dissidents in Cuba on his visit to that country.

  • Votes against the Iran nuclear deal failed in the Congress. The State Department plans to begin implementing the agreement on October 18.
  • Taliban gunmen attacked a military air base in Peshawar, with Pakistani soldiers killing at least eight of the militants.
  • The United States is helping build a wall on the border of Niger to prevent incursions by Boko Haram militants from Nigeria.
  • The president of Somalia insists recent advances by Al Shabaab militants don't mean a resurgence for the Al Qaeda affiliate. 
  • At least 12 people were killed in an earthquake in Chile.
  • The Aedes nigripes, a mosquito in the Arctic, is getting a longer breeding season and so showing up earlier in the year.

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    1. Doesn’t count!!!!!!!!!!!!

      1. Yes! You’re right.
        Looks like I’m first within the rules.

        1. Congratulations. Here’s your monocle.

          1. I’ll have that! *yoink*
            (Don’t leave your monocle unattended)

            1. Damn street urchins!

              *shakes cane*

              1. That’s Kane

    2. WHAT!

      Fucker, I’ll deal with you once I get a little spare time. Gotta go take a nap right now though.

      Just you wait!

    3. I agree with the late Hunter S Thompson : F the Pope

      and paint it on the side of the America’s cup entrants!

  1. 92) This dialogue occurred to me as I read this Slate article on rich people not supporting redistribution:

    Progressive preparing for dessert party: Oh my God, there are going to be more people at this party than we thought! We’re not going to have enough pie for everybody. We have to get started measuring so everybody gets an equal thin sliver.

    Conservative: Why don’t we just bake another pie? We have lots of ingredients here. There’ll be plenty.

    Progressive: What? Are you kidding? If we do that we won’t have enough time to make sure everyone gets an equal slice!

    Libertarian: Then why don’t we let people take the ingredients when they get here and bake the size and kind of pie they prefer?

    Progressive: Are you out of your mind? What if some people use too many raisins, or too much chocolate or cinnamon? There won’t be enough for the others!

    Libertarian: So what if somebody gets more raisins, or cinnamon, or chocolate for their pie? The others might not even like those things.

    Progressive: OH MY GOD LAFRR$^(*&$

    1. Progressive: Are you out of your mind? What if some people use too many raisins, or too much chocolate or cinnamon? There won’t be enough for the others!

      States another way: WHO NEEDS ALL THOSE RAISINS?

      Or.

      WE DON’T LIKE PEOPLE PUTTING RAISINS IN THEIR PIE!

      1. or:

        WE DON’T LIKE PEOPLE PUTTING WHO RAISINS IN THEIR PIE!

        1. The only proper place for Who Raisins is in the Who Rash along side the Roast Beast.

          1. *Who Hash

            Fuck both of us I guess.

            1. I’d steer clear of the Who Rash.

              1. I’m sure there’s more than a few The Who groupies who would endorse this advice.

            2. yup. At least its friday

      2. I’m pretty sure those raisins rightfully belong to the government anyway.

        1. Oh, it’s the Wickard Man!

          1. Is that too obscure? Wicker Man…oh forget it.

          2. I thought that was brilliant.

    2. It’s nice that Slate (or someone at Slate) finally realizes rich liberals in fact, do not give a fuck.

      1. “the rich place a much lower value on equality than the rest”

        That article (TL;DR) sure spends a lot of energy avoiding the word envy.

  2. Dissolved German SWAT unit wrecks office with chainsaw

    COLOGNE, Germany, Sept. 17 (UPI) — A German police department said members of a SWAT unit dissolved for alleged misconduct drunkenly trashed their offices with a chainsaw.

    Cologne Police Chief Wolfgang Albers Cologne announced Tuesday the Spezialeinsatzkommando unit, a German SWAT team, was being dissolved after allegations emerged that officers had hazed new recruits.

    Members of the unit held a barbecue outside their office Tuesday as a farewell event and officials said the officers became heavily intoxicated.

    The drunken officers destroyed the common room of their offices with a chainsaw and one rode a motorbike through the hallway.

    1. I honestly believe most people become police officers because they are decent and respect the law.
      /s

    2. I’m ok with them breaking their own crap

  3. The United States is helping build a wall on the border of Niger to prevent incursions by Boko Haram militants from Nigeria.

    This is beyond the whiter shade of pale.

    1. And losers say walls don’t work!

      /Trump

    2. Are these Boko Haram militants Mongolian?

    3. We’re only making plans for Niger:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s29RKnB7l7o

  4. Nationalist Group Wants TX Secession on Primary Ballot

    Even if the Texas Nationalist Movement gets enough signatures, such a vote would be little more than symbolic. Academics agree that Texas cannot secede from the United States, and point to a post-Civil War Supreme Court ruling, Texas v. White, as evidence.

    But that hasn’t stopped the Republican Party of Texas from rolling its eyes at the secessionists. Texas GOP communications director Aaron Whitehead said the Republican party certainly doesn’t welcome outside groups trying to doctor the party ballot.

    “Historically the executive committee of the Republican Party has chosen what goes on this,” Whitehead said, “and it’s party preference that it stays that way.”

    yeah that court will stop ’em!

    1. Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here, this is the war room!

      1. +1 General Ripper exceeding his authority.

  5. Heavily armed police storm West End actor’s house after neighbour mistakes rehearsal for gun fight

    Fifteen armed policemen swooped down on a West End actor’s house after a concerned call from a neighbour who believed they had heard someone begging for their life.

    Turns out it was just a group of actors rehearsing for an audition ? surely they’ve got to get the job after this?

    1. That’s a pretty glowing endorsement of their acting chops.

    2. To be fair I would probably call the police in that situation, too. Hopefully no one got hurt.

      1. This is why you always leave a note!

      2. Then you’re an awful human.

  6. Woman Charged With ‘Castration’ After Biting Boyfriend’s Testicles

    A man whose testicles were allegedly bitten during a domestic dispute in Jacksonville, North Carolina, is recovering, an Onslow County Sheriff’s spokesman told The Huffington Post Thursday.

    Some earlier reports said the man had suffered either serious or permanent damage, but the spokesman said the victim required eight stitches and would eventually heal. “There was no actual long-term damage, nothing he couldn’t recover from,” the spokesman said.

    Martinne Delavega, 51, was charged with malicious castration and assault causing serious bodily injury.

    1. So at some point in North Carolina, malicious castration was enough of a problem it was specifically written into the legal code?

      1. Also, I’m struggling to conceive of non-malicious castration…

        1. Well maybe there’s a separate charge for negligent castration. You know like “It was an accident, we were all drinking, and I had no idea the gun was loaded”.

        2. Although, to be fair, with *any* castration you’d be struggling to conceive.

          1. Swiss, please pick up the white courtesy phone.

            1. No, the white courtesy phone!

        3. That’s when the State does it.

  7. Expert says meteor could wipe out Earth next week despite Nasa’s reassurance that we’re safe

    Conspiracy theorists say it’s time to say bye-bye to our loved ones as they claim Earth’s final day could come anywhere from the 22 to the 28 September .

    They predict a plethora of horrors will ravage the planet including meteor strikes, earthquakes, tsunamis – with some suggesting they will be sent by God.

    However, Nasa says it is constantly monitoring the heavens for signs of any incoming asteroids and has given the all-clear.

    to pay or not to pay the mortgage?

    1. This curse on the Cubs is getting downright frightening.

    2. And I feel fine.

    3. to pay or not to pay the mortgage?

      What difference at this point, does it make? The same hypothetical reason you wouldn’t be paying the mortgage is the same reason the cash you retain would be worthless.

      1. You’ve never been on a bender before, have you?

    4. What a terrible article.

      1. Agree. Although the huge photo of Dr Sarita Robinson was funny!

        1. The one of Harold Camping is better.

    5. Do you think it’s time for people to panic?

    6. Unsaid in that article: If a meteor of that size was that close to earth and heading closer, people in their backyards with $50 telescopes could probably see it.

      1. Unless it’s close to the sun. Which is a pretty big blind spot for this sort of thing.

  8. ‘Universal urination duration’ wins Ig Nobel prize

    A study showing that nearly all mammals take the same amount of time to urinate has been awarded one of the 2015 Ig Nobel prizes at Harvard University.

    These spoof Nobels for “improbable research” are in their 25th year.

    The team behind the urination research, from Georgia Tech, won the physics Ig.

    Using high-speed video analysis, they modelled the fluid dynamics involved in urination and discovered that all mammals weighing more than 3kg empty their bladders over about 21 seconds.

    1. File under: Stuff Cliff Claven knows.

      1. “it’s ahhh little known fact, there, Normie…

    2. It seems like at the baseball stadium there’s always some drunk dude at the urinal who takes like three minutes to empty his bladder. I’ve always admired that guy.

      1. An enlarged prostate is nothing to admire.

      2. are you sure he’s just emptying his bladder?

      3. Thank you.

    3. Surely the numbers have a bimodal distribution by gender.

    4. That is all fine and dandy….if you are under 45 y/o or female.

    5. Generally takes me about 30 – 60 seconds full stream. But I’m like a camel.

  9. Ruling: New Jersey casino can regulate waitresses’ weight

    ATLANTIC CITY, N.J. (AP) ? A casino can regulate the weight of its cocktail waitresses, but a court should decide if managers erred in how they enforced those standards, an appeals panel ruled Thursday.

    The state appeals court said the Borgata casino’s personal appearance standards are lawful. But it also said part of a lawsuit brought by 21 servers should be returned to a lower court to determine if 11 of the women were subjected to a hostile work environment over the standards’ enforcement.

    The casino says it’s pleased that the policy was upheld, noting it was disclosed and agreed to by all female and male “costumed beverage servers” when they were hired as “Borgata Babes.”

    1. I really was worried about this one.

      1. I blame Chris Christy…

        So does Donald Trump.

  10. Brawl breaks out in Japanese Parliament during debate over pacifism

    Scenes reminiscent of a rugby match played out Thursday in the committee chamber where lawmakers have been debating the bills for weeks. Opposition politicians tried to prevent voting by piling on top of the committee chairman and wrestling away his microphone. Governing party lawmakers pulled them away and formed a protective scrum around the chairman to allow him to call the vote. The scenes were broadcast live on television by the national broadcaster, NHK.

    We need more of this..

    1. I love watching parliamentary debates in other countries where they aren’t afraid to crack some skulls right there on national TV. There’s always some South American country in those “world’s wildest” shows where that happens too.

      1. Whenever C-SPAN shows British Parliament, get the popcorn out. I’ve seen them hurl fruit at each other like a roomful of angry chimps.

        1. When the French parliament is televised, the “sophisticated European” jokes write themselves.

      2. Dude, check out the judo throws of the south korean old parliamentary dude in the related videos!

      3. “Bah, we have best parliament fights!”

        /Balkans nations

        1. Yes, though they peaked 85 years ago.

    2. “We need more of this..”

      In that case: STEVE SMITH FOR CONGRESS!

      1. STEVE SMITH RAPE THE HONORABLE MEMBER FROM NEW JERSEY AND THEN YIELD BACK BALANCE OF TIME TO CHAIR!

      2. STEVE SMITH NOT LOWER HIMSELF TO LEVEL OF CONGRESSSQUATCH. THAT IS BRIDGE TOO FAR.

        1. “CONGRESSSQUATCH”

          *standing ovation*

          1. today this thread is definitely Charlie Sheen

            1. Winning!

  11. The United States is helping build a wall on the border of Niger to prevent incursions by Boko Haram militants from Nigeria.

    And to keep out Mexicans.

    1. And I understand that this wall is particularly effective at keeping out Lithuanians too.

      1. This rock repels tigers.

  12. Chimpanzees love horror films, research finds

    Also, they were found to be routinely getting drunk in the wild.

    Sheesh, they probably do dope, too.

    1. Do they like horror movies where chimps get killed, or only when the humans get killed? Might be rooting for the killers.

    2. Our closest genetic relative.

    3. +1 28 Days Later…

  13. Woman Arrested For Drunk Driving Against Traffic Outside Holland Tunnel “Didn’t Want To Go To NJ”

    According to a Port Authority spokesman, Tonnie Schaus was driving her 2007 BMW eastbound against traffic on the Holland Tunnel approach near Watts Street, around 7:15 p.m. on Monday. Police say Schaus then made a left turn onto Varick, also against traffic. When a Port Authority lieutenant blocked Varick Street with his cruiser, Schaus allegedly turned left onto Dominick Street to avoid him.

    When the officer cut off Schaus’s car on Dominick, “forcing” her to stop, he observed that her face was “flushed,” her speech slurred, and her eyes “watery and bloodshot.” According to his report, Schaus then explained that she “didn’t want to go to New Jersey,” hence the driving against traffic.

    1. Schaus then explained that she “didn’t want to go to New Jersey,” hence the driving against traffic.

      Any decent judge will throw out the case against her.

    2. This whole story is a fine metaphor for many New Yorkers I knew.

  14. Germany: Migrants’ Rape Epidemic

    A growing number of women and young girls housed in refugee shelters in Germany are being raped, sexually assaulted and even forced into prostitution by male asylum seekers, according to German social work organizations with first-hand knowledge of the situation.

    Many of the rapes are occurring in mixed-gender shelters, where, due to a lack of space, German authorities are forcing thousands of male and female migrants to share the same sleeping areas and restroom facilities.

    Conditions for women and girls at some shelters are so perilous that females are being described as “wild game” fighting off Muslim male predators. But many victims, fearing reprisals, are keeping silent, social workers say.

    The Trail of (Warty) Tears

    1. This sounds a lot like the mostly made-up stories about the Superdome after Katrina.

      1. Warum lassen Sie jede gute Krise zu verschwenden?

        (Why let any good crisis go to waste?)

      2. – If it *is* happening, I wonder if the authorities will sweep it under the rug?

        – Muslim men are always going on about how they can’t “control themselves”; they’re either right, or this report is playing on that

        1. So maybe keeping all the women hidden is not a good idea?

    2. Exponential cultural enrichment!

  15. AP sources: Marines seek to close combat jobs to women

    The Marine Corps is expected to ask that women not be allowed to compete for several front-line combat jobs, inflaming tensions between Navy and Marine leaders, U.S. officials say.

    The tentative decision has ignited a debate over whether Navy Secretary Ray Mabus can veto any Marine Corps proposal to prohibit women from serving in certain infantry and reconnaissance positions. And it puts Gen. Joseph Dunford, the Marine Corps commandant who takes over soon as chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, at odds with the other three military services, who are expected to open all of their combat jobs to women.

    No final decisions have been made or forwarded to Pentagon leaders, but officials say Defense Secretary Ash Carter is aware of the dispute and intends to review the Marine plan. The Marine Corps is part of the Navy, so Mabus is secretary of both services.

    1. I know the reason why, but I still surprised that “girls can do stuff” is not “girls can do some stuff, but not all stuff, because they are girls with weaker bodies.”

      1. I have no problem opening all jobs as long as they don’t lower the standards. One of the top snipers in history was a woman.

        1. I agree with the general premise, and I think (I am too lazy to google the details) that women are known to be good snipers.

        2. Red Army combat operations were fairly unforgiving. The alternative was to be dead.

          How many of the “women in combat” advocates have the stomach for the inevitable “women in body bags” that result from it?

          1. I feel the same way about young men in body bags. A complete waste of potential.

            1. Perhaps we won’t throw our soldiers into harms way so easily.

              /s

          2. As a veteran, I would say the stomach required is about equal to that of the stomach required to put men in body bags as well. Of course, I found out I haven’t the stomach for it regardless of gender.

          3. I know I feel sooooo much worse when chicks are killed than when dudes are killed.

            /rolling eyes

        3. Actually in WWII the Russians used women as snipers very effectively. They also had an entire squadron of women who did great as well.

          No problems with using women effectively, but I know that the temptation to lower standards will be there.

          1. Being a good sniper involves being a good shot and being quiet and patient.

            There is very little to that specific job that is effected by gender differences.

            In our military, we don’t have the specific job ‘sniper’. A sniper is first an infantryMAN. Being a sniper is an additional skill set. The Russians in WWII is a bad example. That was total war, where everyone in the population was mobilized and the choice was fight, run or die.

            A very small percentage of women can meet the standards for the Infantry skill set, but they have to be collegiate class athletes, and have to maintain that standard. Maintaining that level of fitness starts to break down a body.

            1. It is a good article, but these women are supporting Special Ops, they’re not conducting special ops.

              Cultural Support Teams were formed because of the cultural restrictions in prehistoric Afghanisan prevent the female population from even talking to males.

              1. I am agreeing with you. Women can do many things that do not involve carrying 90lbs of gear up a mountain, so that is what they should be concentrating on, but I know the reasons why the military is in this current predicament.

    2. Not even slightly surprised. People don’t get to the tops of these agencies without being PR hounds, and they know if they don’t let under qualified women into combat roles congress is going to pass a law that will screw them even worse.

    3. Women making progress, last sentence.

      http://www.adn.com/article/201…..ctic-coast

    4. Are there any good reasons we don’t just have a combined arms command structure (other than money in pockets)? Do we need separate services?

      1. Separate needs in how they treat their people and the equipment required. The air force and navy for the most part don’t have near the physical requirements of the army. Also, the planes the army loves the airforce hates.

        1. There’s a very arbitrary artificial distinction between army and air force planes, based entirely on the 1947 reorg / split, where the air force tried to control every single airplane, including navy ones. I have read that one reason the army has been so big on helos was because they were forbidden o use the planes they wanted, and the air force wasn’t interested in any airplane usage below 10,000 feet.

          1. W.E.B. Griffin eluded to the this conflict in his Brotherhood of War series. Apparently the USAF through a fit when the Army wanted to start *gasp* putting guns on helos.

      2. Are there any good reasons we don’t just have a combined arms command structure

        We don’t?

      3. If you do it like the PRC you end up with things like the PLANAF. Which, hilariously, stands for, “People’s Liberation Army Navy Air Force.”

    5. This is turning into a fucking shitstorm.

      I guess it doesn’t matter that they fucking tried integrating women into the front lines and it didn’t work well.

      Once again, the theory is that if you wish that the physical world will change, then it will.

      My biggest fear for the Corps is that they will a) be forced to let women apply and then eventually b) relax the standards for those positions because not enough women are able to qualify.

      The differences between the men’s and women’s PT standards were pretty stark when I was in. We had one WM who was winning all sorts of triathalons in Okinawa and she had a hard time hanging with us when we were doing PT or other stupid shit like moving industrial air conditioners for our equipment by hand (our Gunner didn’t feel like requesting a fork lift and thought it would be good for us).

      1. LIFT YOU MAGGOTS! MOVE! MOVE!

        1. Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! Or I’m going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!

      2. A marine Sergeant Major committed career hari kari over this.

        1. That was a surprisingly tame facebook post. I expected it to be a foaming at the mouth rant, but instead he managed to keep a fairly calm and reasonable tone. It won’t make a difference for him. He’s still fucked, but it might make a difference in the overall debate.

  16. Women earned majority of doctoral degrees in 2014 for 6th straight year, and outnumber men in grad school 136 to 100

    Of the 73,303 doctoral degrees awarded in 2014 (Table B.25), women earned 37,927 of those degrees and 52.2% of the total, compared to 34,737 degrees awarded to men who earned 47.8% of the total (see top chart above). The 52.2% female share of doctoral degrees in 2014 was the same as in the previous two years (2012 and 2013), but slightly lower than the female share of 52.5% in 2011. Women have now earned a majority of doctoral degrees in each year since 2009. Previously, women started earning a majority of associate’s degrees for the first time in 1978, a majority of master’s degrees in 1981, and a majority of bachelor’s degrees in 1982 according to the Department of Education. Therefore, 2009 marked the year when men officially became the “second sex” in higher education by earning a minority of college degrees at all college levels from associate’s degrees up to doctoral degrees.

    check out the numbers: doctorate degrees in art & humanities, education, social sciences, etc

    1. What are the stem numbers like?

      1. I’m sure it varies heavily by field. I believe the majority of MD grads are now women and Bio PhDs are women easily. But physics is a big time sausage party. I don’t think aggregating all that would be that interesting.

    1. omg:

      It’s kind of hard to pick one accomplishment’
      By Bill Burton, former senior strategist for Priorities USA Action, a super PAC in support of President Barack Obama.
      It’s kind of hard to pick one accomplishment for Hillary Clinton. Personally, I’m sure she’d say her daughter and grandchild are her greatest accomplishments. Professionally, how about these three?
      1. Her China speech on women.
      2. Her role in killing Osama bin Laden.
      3. Management of the State Department during which time we saw a 50 percent increase in exports to China, aggressive work on climate (particularly at Copenhagen), and the effort to create and implement the toughest sanctions ever on Iran?helping to lead us to the agreement currently on the table.

      1. ‘Nearly every foreign policy victory of President Obama’s second term has Secretary Clinton’s fingerprints on it’
        By Harry Reid, Senate Democratic leader.

        Is that some kind of joke?

        She was the point person ? compelling the Chinese to commit to cutting carbon emissions.’
        By David Axelrod, former Senior Advisor to President Barack Obama.
        When I was there, she played a very active role in rallying the world behind the global sanctions against Iran that brought them to the table over their nuclear program. She was the point person in Copenhagen in compelling the Chinese to commit to cutting carbon emissions. She personally negotiated a ceasefire between Israel and Hamas. Those are a few that come to mind.

        They are just trolling at this point.

        1. It’s pretty telling that these flacks can name all these things off the top of their head, but Her Inevitability can’t.

      2. “2. Her role in killing Osama bin Laden.”

        After all that sniper fire dodging at Tuzla, she was able to get into position for the kill shot quite effectively!

      3. ‘Nearly every foreign policy victory of President Obama’s second term has Secretary Clinton’s fingerprints on it’

        By Harry Reid, Senate Democratic leader.

        OK, then Harrry, maybe you could then point out one “foreign policy victory” for me?

  17. SF Couple Leaves For Burning Man And Their Hired Housesitter Airbnb’s Their Apartment

    A San Francisco couple may be pursuing a civil lawsuit after their hired, professional housesitter put their home on Airbnb without their knowledge, while they were away at Burning Man. As the UK Guardian reports, they found the guy on TrustedHousesitters.com ? a site they learned about in the New York Times ? and it was only by luck that they learned of the guy’s scam. The people he rented their apartment to turned out to be friends of theirs.

    John and Ed received an email when they were en route to Black Rock City saying, “Thanks for letting us stay in your apartment this weekend!” And when he emailed back saying there must be a mistake, the friend wrote back, “No, it’s definitely your house – your car, your wedding photos, your cats. We found it on Airbnb.” Turns out the professional housesitter, whom John and Ed had met with and already used twice before this year, had put the apartment on Airbnb for $2,000 for five days.

    1. they found the guy on TrustedHousesitters.com

      That’s a ringing endorsement.

      1. a site they learned about in the New York Times

        This should have set off alarms.

      2. I love the motel signs that say “Clean Sheets”

        Makes me feel like staying there, with Crusty and SF.

  18. Who would have thunk it? Muslims don’t like Oktoberfest and want it stopped.

    http://www.change.org/p/city-of-munic…..ktoberfest

    1. If they go around doing this they’re going to wear out the welcome in Germany real quick.

      1. How do you say GTFO in German?

        Auslander raus?

        1. Fich dich, Auslander! Aussteigen!

          1. Your masters are doing a terrible job imparting the father tongue.

            1. Bah, don’t be too harsh on my gutter Austrian…. I won’t even try Swiss dialect.

              1. How’s your Romansh?

            2. Not really, that works where I’m from in Bavaria.

        2. Werden Sie wie ein Baum und nichts wie raus hier!

    2. The cancellation of the Oktoberfest event will help refugees not to forget their Islamic history. Thank you for your attention to this matter. Sincerely, Morad Almuradi

      WTF?

      1. They’ve been out of their country for, what, a few months? And they’re in danger of forgetting their Islamic history?

        Also: good, forget your Islamic history. Oktoberfest is a lot more enjoyable.

    3. I am writing this letter to bring to your attention something that I
      and many Muslims believe is unfair and requires attention. I would like to inform you that the Oktoberfest is an Intolerant and Anti-Islamic event. We tried to ignore the event, but there too many Un-Islamic acts done at the Oktoberfest. Such as alcohol consumption, public nudity etc.

      We understand that the Oktoberfest is a yearly German tradition, but we, Muslims, can not tolerate this Un-Islamic event, because it offends us and all Muslims on the earth. We are requesting the immediate cancellation of the upcoming Oktoberfest event.


      We also believe that the Oktoberfest might also offend all the Muslim refugees coming from Syria, Iraq,
      Afghanistan. The cancellation of the Oktoberfest event will help refugees not to forget their Islamic history. Thank you for your attention to this matter.


      Sincerely,

      Morad Almurad

    4. What could go wrong making the Germans drink in the Beer Halls instead?

      1. Sure – and just so Germans visiting Mecca in October feel comfortable – the Muslims there should all worship indoors.

        1. Under very large unstable cranes.

        2. And keep the honor killings and gay-stoning to a minimum.

      2. Are you saying they are putsched indoors?

        1. /golf clap.

    5. Gotta be trolling by some savvy native German tired of seeing the refugees, right?

      1. I’m with you. Gotta be a troll

      2. Yup, someone’s trolling, and probably not even a German.

    6. I’m not one to buy into stereotypes, but as an ethnic minority you might not want to piss of the FUCKING GERMANS!

      1. You know who, uh… who else…

        1. Gustavus Adolphus?

    7. 477 of them, anyway.

      If they didn’t want to be exposed to people drinking alcohol, maybe Germany (and Europe in general) isn’t the place.

    8. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA this has to be a hoax. It has to be.

  19. Primary Dealers Rigged Treasury Auctions, Investor Lawsuit Says

    The same analytical technique that uncovered cheating in currency markets and the Libor rates benchmark — resulting in about $20 billion of fines — suggests the dealers who control the U.S. Treasury market rigged bond auctions for years, according to a lawsuit.

    The analysis was part of a 115-page lawsuit filed in Manhattan federal court on Aug. 26 by Quinn Emmanuel Urquhart & Sullivan LLP and other law firms. The plaintiffs built their case against the 22 primary dealers who serve as the backbone of Treasury trading — including Goldman Sachs Group Inc., JPMorgan Chase & Co. and Morgan Stanley — using data from Rosa Abrantes-Metz, an adjunct associate professor at New York University who has provided expert testimony in rigging cases.

    Her conclusion: More than two-thirds of a certain type of Treasury auction appear to have been rigged. She found issues with other auctions, too.

    1. And the cynics don’t think Goldman Sachs will have to pay their fair share. Nice operation they got there. Be a shame if something happened to it.

  20. Aide to Rand Paul campaign alleges aide to Marco Rubio campaign punched him in the face

    The biennial Mackinac Republican Leadership Conference has not yet officially begun, but the first punch has already been thrown. Literally, it seems.
    Michigan consultant John Yob, who is working as national political director for presidential candidate Rand Paul, alleges that a strategist on the Marco Rubio campaign punched him in the face, although a source tells MLive the incident was personal, not political.

    “Last night I went to a bar on Mackinac Island for the GOP Mackinac Conference,” Yob wrote early Friday morning on Facebook. “I ran into a guy named Rich Beeson, who frankly I didn’t even know who it was at first because he isn’t relevant in our political world.

    “Anyway, he is Marco Rubio’s national campaign manager. He literally physically assaulted me by punching me in the face. The state police are looking for him. I have it on video, from multiple angles. This will play out in the national media in the next few hours.”

    Beeson, who previously worked for the Mitt Romney campaign in 2012, is actually Rubio’s deputy campaign manager, according to The National Review and Politico.

    1. What a fucking crybaby.

    2. “LITERALLY PHYSICALLY ASSAULTED!!”

  21. This man’s bank keeps telling him he’s dead

    According to one of America’s largest credit agencies, Aleksander Perstin is dead. He was marked dead last September, a lawsuit filed this week alleges. Of course, the dead typically have trouble getting mortgages and taking out credit cards (death is a major drag on your expected earnings), so for the past year, Experian has been wary of any new credit taken out in Perstin’s name.

    There’s only one problem: Mr. Perstin says he isn’t dead. He’s quite insistent about it.

    1. Steven Seagal was marked fro death once.

      1. “Steven Seagal was marked fro death once.”

        Death by African hairstyle?

      2. Don’t go to bed with a price on your head. Don’t do it.

    2. He’s getting better

  22. Yellen May Emulate Taper Template and Raise Rates in December

    Federal Reserve Chair Janet Yellen shows signs of taking a page out of her predecessor’s policy playbook as she inches toward the central bank’s first interest rate increase in nine years: Delay action in September only to move in December.

    While the Fed on Thursday opted to keep rates pinned near zero for now, Yellen told a press conference that most policy makers still expect to raise rates this year. She highlighted the strength of the U.S. economy, tying the decision to delay liftoff to fresh uncertainty about the outlook abroad and to financial market turbulence over the past month.

    1. Good grief, what a *tease* Janet is!

      1. They can never raise rates

        1. Oh, they’ll raise rates one day. Not under the circumstances they think, though.

          1. +1 nuevo dollar

      2. If they were going to raise rates, it would have already happened. These are considered “emergency” rates, despite the fact we haven’t supposedly been in an emergency situation for years now.

        Yellen knows damn well the minute the Fed raises rates that the stock market will go on a deep dive.

        1. Thus December. “This year’s end of year sell off was just particularly steep.”

  23. Paul Krugman: GOP debate proves candidates are liars living in “world of fantasy and fiction”

    New York Times columnist Paul Krugman argued Friday that all the GOP debate on Wednesday proved is that the current field of Republican candidates is dangerously out of touch with reality, and is more than willing to lie about it in order to win an election.

    By way of proof, he noted that the only candidate who didn’t spout “economic fantasies” was Donald Trump, and the only one seemed “remotely sensible” on foreign policy was Rand Paul ? both of whom aren’t electable for a host of other reasons. Indeed, he said, the entire field should be “scary” not just to Democrats, but to moderate Republicans, because it’s impossible to tell what they actually believe.

    1. “the only one seemed “remotely sensible” on foreign policy was Rand Paul ? both of whom aren’t electable for a host of other reasons.”

      So far as I can tell the reason Rand Paul isn’t electable is *because* he’s sensible. Spend within your means! Don’t get involved in situations where the problem isn’t your business and you can’t improve the outcome! This is what puts you in far radical territory in US politics.

      1. And that hair! Ugh. And he is short! Ugh.

      2. My wife watched the debate with me and as far as I know she had no idea who Rand was before, but she really liked his calm demeanor and straight answers. I hope she is not an outlier of the American public, but I fear she is.

      3. “Spend within your means!”

        Stop spouting fantasies.

        1. That, right there, is austerity, and that is what caused the Greek economy to collapse.

          Do you want us to end up like the Greeks?

  24. The Independent: Societies Dominated by Women are More Equal and Progressive

    De Vallomebreuse also visited the matriarchal Moso society in China where women are the law-makers and the care and education of children is entrusted to maternal uncles.

    I’m sure the only reason feminists aren’t flocking to these so progressive societies is because our patriarchal shitlord society won’t let them.

    1. Yep, they’re equal, and have a standard of living the rest of us passed by 200+ years ago.

    2. Tell your average feminist that she will have to live with her mother for the rest of her life and see how many would move there even if they were a first world economy.

    3. The photographer was astonished by how progressive such cultures can be – and how the mutual respect between sexes put even the huge leaps made toward equality in the past century in Europe to shame.

      The whole article is like this – *barf*

      The photographer also took a series of portraits of the Badjao in Malaysia, a peoples who have abolished all forms of hierarchy and advocate an egalitarian and libertarian civilisation.

      Wut.

      1. So, we’re taking a photographer’s word on “mutual respect between sexes” and “how progressive” a culture is?

        No need to listen to all these social scientists. Just ask some dude with a camera!

    4. Bonobo society has the most equal male-female size and relations of all primates. And they have sex more than any other. Maybe there is something to this…

  25. From your article on Mosquitos in the Arctic:

    “As the climate changes, scientists have warned it’s not just Arctic caribou that are in trouble. In California, experts said the historic drought likely led to a record-breaking number of deaths from West Nile Virus spread by mosquitoes.”

    Don’t these Mosquitos know there has been a pause? Nah, just libertarians like Stossel think all is well.

    1. Every time you post a comment, a polar bear spontaneously combusts.

      1. Judging from the vitriol here, I think every time I post a comment, a libertarian combusts. Heck, you combusted a few times yourself!

        1. Yeah. I’m trying to be better about not getting angry when other people write utterly, shamefully stupid shit on the internet. My therapist says i’m making progress, but there’s still a ways to go.

          1. I have all the confidence…you’ll get there!

            1. No one gets angry at you, you egoist. You’re just a boring troll.

      2. Let me guess, credulous Joe didn’t bother to click through and read the paper’s abstract? He just assumed that science was showing that his superstitions were correct?

        Go easy on the poor schlub, guys. Puncture his faith, deprive him of his religion, and who knows what new superstition will he fill the void with? At least his belief that angry goddess gaia will cook the unbelievers is harmless.

        1. Ah, tarry baby. The opening paragraph from the study itself.

          “Climate change is altering environmental temperature, a factor that influences ectothermic organisms by controlling processes…Our studies showed that warming increased development rate of immature mosquitoes (Q10 1?4 2.8) but also increased daily mortality from increased predation rates by a dytiscid beetle (Q10 1?4 1.2?1.5). Despite increased daily mortality, the model indicated that faster development and fewer days exposed to pre- dators resulted in an increased probability of mosquito survival to the adult stage. Warming also advanced mosquito phenology, bringing mosquitoes into phenological synchrony with caribou. Increases in biting pests will have negative consequences for caribou and their role as a subsistence resource for local communities.”

          Oops! Stick with abstracts, tarry! Studies are tooong for you.

          1. Joe, thanks for confirming my characterization of the study below, where I wrote:

            So, basically, they took a look at warm summers and cold summers, and used that year to year variation to generate a model that predicts mosquito populations as a function of temperature.

            They did not say “we observe them having a longer breeding season”.

            Even though you think your efforts support your original mistaken assumption that they must have been observing larger mosquito populations thus proving that the arctic was warming even if temperature instruments weren’t detecting it, and thus you don’t realize that you have actually confirmed you are wrong, I hope you will appreciate that I am truly grateful for your efforts.

            Thank you.

    2. Hey, the more mosquitoes there are, the better-fed the frogs are. The more frogs, the more birds can eat well. The more birds there are, the more they’re shitting out seeds from the fruit they eat. The more seeds they shit, the more plants grow. And the more plants grow, the less global warming. Yay!

      1. Exactly. The science is settled.

    3. “scientists have warned it’s not just Arctic caribou that are in trouble”

      …from over-population. As the earth warms due to natural cycles there is more area that is habitable for caribou. Now that the ice has started to grow dramatically again, they really could be in trouble of having their population drop again.

      1. …from over-population.

        Not even close.

    4. I am glad the climate stopped changing in 2006, 2009-2011 and spared so many of WNV. See chart at the bottom of http://www.westnile.ca.gov/.

      1. And a new giant virus discovery.

        http://www.sciencedaily.com/re…..100603.htm

    5. Drought… leads to more death from an animal that breeds in water.

  26. The Guardian does not disappoint.
    Yesterday, climate change was going to bring out the inner Hitler in ALL OF US.
    Today, EVIL 1%ers will escape the environmental catastrophe they have wreaked on this planet by leaving earth in PRIVATE SPACESHIPS!!!!
    DOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!
    http://www.theguardian.com/com…..cape-earth
    “The faster and further you can afford to travel, the greater your environmental footprint. And often, the people less able to travel are the ones left holding the toxic-chemical and pollution-filled bag.”
    So, basically, the Guardian is positing an “Elysium” scenario.
    This should tell you all you need to know about that:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AndrSAkaSw
    Yes, they really wrote an article about the Earth turning into an Elysium or Wall-E type place.
    Goddamn, does the class envy of the leftists know ANY bounds?!?!

    1. I appreciate you reading the Guardian so I don’t have to. They do seem to be suddenly posting absolute howlers more often than before.

  27. Who better than the Kochs to dish up some handy tips for lifting people out of poverty
    If you like your life skills advice with a side helping of conservative politics, Bridge to Wellbeing is for you

    This is not a joke. The institute is called the Bridge to Wellbeing and is housed in the foundation arm of the Kochs’ political group, Americans for Prosperity. There are seminars being offered with such names as Couponing, Budgeting, Dinner on a Dime, and Grow Your Garden, among others.

    But there’s a catch. If you read the course descriptions carefully, you will see that they also cover such topics as “how government and policies impact our lives” and “the importance of a free society.” In the Couponing course, for example, the website says that you will learn not only how to “keep the pantry full” by clipping coupons, but also how “government policies are causing food and grocery prices to rise.” And a page called “policies impacting you” says that food is expensive because of environmental regulations espoused by Nancy Pelosi and Barack Obama.

    1. This is outrageous! Only government agencies are supposed to propagandize the poor!

    2. How DARE they advocate a free society!

      At this point, they’re just running the mask through a wood-chipper.

  28. John Cleese explains European alert levels.

    http://www.goodreads.com/topic…..ohn-cleese

    1. FYI

      Still funny, though.

  29. The disturbing ‘killer’ clown videos that WILL give you nightmares: Pranksters chase guests down hotel corridors and trap customers in a gas station in utterly terrifying film

    After the filming of his most recent Las Vegas prank, Matteo explained that he got together with the victims and had a good laugh

    before discussing their huge lawsuits.

    1. Vegas doesn’t allow conceal carry?

  30. More close-up pictures of Pluto

    The latest images from NASA’s New Horizons spacecraft have scientists stunned ? not only for their breathtaking views of Pluto’s majestic icy mountains, streams of frozen nitrogen and haunting low-lying hazes, but also for their strangely familiar, arctic look.

    This new view of Pluto’s crescent ? taken by New Horizons’ wide-angle Ralph/Multispectral Visual Imaging Camera (MVIC) on July 14 and downlinked to Earth on Sept. 13 ? offers an oblique look across Plutonian landscapes with dramatic backlighting from the sun. It spectacularly highlights Pluto’s varied terrains and extended atmosphere. The scene measures 780 miles (1,250 kilometers) across.

    Owing to its favorable backlighting and high resolution, this MVIC image also reveals new details of hazes throughout Pluto’s tenuous but extended nitrogen atmosphere. The image shows more than a dozen thin haze layers extending from near the ground to at least 60 miles (100 kilometers) above the surface. In addition, the image reveals at least one bank of fog-like, low-lying haze illuminated by the setting sun against Pluto’s dark side, raked by shadows from nearby mountains.

    1. If we must be spending government money, this is the kind of cool shit we could be doing.

    2. I am glad that none of you have made a “that is really just a close-up of Hillary Clinton’s thighs” comment. Good on all of you.

      1. you there. yes, you. I see what you did…barf

      2. As if the commentariat here would stoop so low. Besides it’s probably more like a close-up of the first lady’s scalp.

    3. Global Warming on Pluto! I knew it. Those damn Plutonians and their SUVs that ride on liquid nitrogen are going to kill the planet.

  31. Punk anarchists, subsistence caribou hunting and bikepacking, O my.

    http://www.adn.com/video/video…..ou-hunting

  32. Spot the Not: if at first you don’t succeed

    1. Started over at the age of 65 with only $105 a month from Social Security

    2. Quit his job as a teacher to pursue writing; he prospered

    3. Spent 40 years as a night watchman before becoming a mathematician

    4. Studied to be an engineer, but quit after only 4 days saying only “I’ve made a terrible mistake.”

    5. Spent 9 years working odd jobs in Hollywood before he landed a major role

    6. Tried to be an opera singer, but found more success as a TV announcer

    1. 2 is Stephen King; 5 is Harrison Ford; 6 is Mike Rowe.

      I think.

    2. Has to be 4. Nobody who sat through the classes to actually become an engineer would quit 4 days into a job — that’s the easy part.

      1. I thought it was Dolph Lundgren, but I turned out to be wrong (according to Wikipedia):

        In 1982, Lundgren graduated with a master’s degree in chemical engineering from the University of Sydney. During his time in Sydney, he earned a living as a bouncer in a nightclub in the renowned King’s Cross area. He was awarded a Fulbright Scholarship to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in 1983. However, while preparing for the move to Boston, he was spotted in the nightclub he worked at in Sydney and was hired by Grace Jones as a bodyguard, and the two became lovers.[14] Their relationship developed dramatically, and he moved with her to New York City.[15]

        1. He was on a list of smartest celebrities. Dude is seriously smart. Big surprise was James Woods with a 184 IQ.

          1. A reminder: Dolph Lundgren can do everything, and he can do it better than you.

            Also, that video is what I imagine Warty’s basement is like, but with more dancing (and more rape).

            1. Um. His singing was flatter than Amai Liu’s chest. I was not impressed.

      2. Unless you get a pointy-haired boss

      3. I want to say Weird Al, but I think he graduated or at least spent more than a few days in college. But I believe he did study engineering… or architecture.

        1. *cautiously scrolls down* Damn! Weird Al should be answer one of these days!

    3. I’m thinking #6 is Mike Rowe.

      1. It is. There’s a clip of him singing somewhere. He was also pretty hilarious as an announcer on QVC, unintentionally perhaps. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWEI-5t2m54

        1. “The Road to Coober Pedy” was actually a surprisingly good song when paired to the shots of the desolation of the antipodian outback they had to spend twelve hours driving on to get to the opal mines in the title town.

    4. Really, I think #2 could be any number of people. But yeah, Stephen King fits the description. #3 sounds sort of like Good Will Hunting. I don’t know if that was based on a real story, so I’ll go with #3.

    5. Imma say 2

      1. I meant to say 3…

    6. 3. How do you like them apples?

    7. 3 is the Not. I based that on Abraham Simpson, who when asked to describe his amazing life, said he spent 40 years as a night watchman at a cranberry silo.

      The rest in order are Colonel Sanders, H G Wells, Roger Corman, Harrison Ford, and Mike Rowe.

      Corman’s very short engineering career:

      In 1948, he worked briefly at U.S. Electrical Motors on Slauson Avenue in Los Angeles, but his career in engineering lasted only four days; he began work on Monday and quit on Thursday, telling his boss “I’ve made a terrible mistake.”

  33. New York Mets to end practice of showing opposing players on Kiss Cam after complaints of homophobia

    In response to accusations of homophobia, the New York Mets announced Wednesday, in an exclusive statement to HuffPost Live, that the team would no longer include two opposing players on its “Kiss Cam.”

    A spokesperson for the Mets wrote to HuffPost Live:

    We have, on occasion, included players from opposing teams in our popular in-game Kiss Cam feature. While intended to be lighthearted, we unintentionally offended some. We apologize for doing so and no longer will include players in the feature. Our organization is wholly supportive of fostering an inclusive and respectful environment at games.

    The longtime stadium ritual shows a series of couples in the crowd on the Jumbotron and encourages them to kiss on camera. At Citi Field, the couples, always heterosexual, are followed by a joke pairing of two male players from the visiting team, as if to say in the most sophomoric way: what if these two Major League Baseball players were to kiss?

    The problem is certain fans didn’t find this joke at all funny, and they took to social media to voice their displeasure.

    1. they took to social media to voice their displeasure.

      Of course they did.

      1. Meh… this sounds about right to me. Better they hear that that joke isn’t funny anymore from fans than from the government.

      2. On the one hand, it’s a little juvenile. On the other hand, impuritans ruin everything.

    2. I’m torn between my hatred for progtards who get worked up over everything goddamned thing, and my hatred for the Mets….

    3. That is so gay.

    4. Stevie Y knew how to handle it – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ku0vw_gPREA

  34. To reiterate, I like reading Drew Magary at Deadspin even though he lets his Dem flag fly from time to time.

    Yesterday he wrote in his weekly NFL preview:

    I was watching all the games on Sunday and, like you, I was wondering, “Jesus, how much money can FanDuel and DraftKings possibly have? Doesn’t it cost roughly $50 billion to advertise every second of every NFL game?” Well it turns out that Disney FOX sunk $150 million into DraftKings, and that the company is valued at over $900 million. That’s fucking insane. That’s like valuing iwon.com at the same price. And FanDuel is partially owned by the Koch Brothers. So it’s possible that your loser daily fantasy service is actually a loss-leading sleeper vehicle for smoking hot, Koch-approved political propaganda. “You have picked up Antonio Brown (WR). But aren’t you concerned about a MEXICAN crossing the border and shooting him dead?”

    So, not only is it the wrong fucking Koch (he did post an update today saying he was wrong), but it’s nice that he also assumes the Koch brothers are anti-immigration.

    1. Weird, Bernie Sanders assures me that open borders are a Koch Bros plot to hurt the American working man.

    2. Drew is usually a great read, but I am glad he posted an update as to why he is wrong.

      1. Yeah he’s pretty funny so generally I just do a quick eye roll when he gets political.

    3. You misspelled KKKOCHTOPUS!!!!11!!!!!111!!!

    4. I’m beginning to wonder if the Koch brothers even exist – I mean not even two people combined can be responsible for so many horrible things in the world.

      1. Gold and Stein sure were.

    5. All the political fucks at Deadspin, gizmodo and every other one of those shitty, ostensibly “apolitical” websites would kill themselves if they had any moral compass whatsoever. Fuck them.

  35. Tales from the Derp

    So yesterday I was watching a Planned Parenthood hearing on C-SPAN. Noted philosopher queen Sheila Jackson Lee said that we could not have cured polio without harvesting fetal organs.

    Here is the money shot from the undercover videos. Be warned; it is gruesome.

    https://youtu.be/FzMAycMMXp8?t=5m57s

    1. Senator Cohen was also present and said that he would not have been cured of polio if not for fetal organ harvesting.

    2. Yeah, those organs provided nutritious snacks for the researchers when they took breaks from the lab.

    3. For those of use who can’t view youtube at work, what’s on the video?

      1. The answer to the question “How do you get a dead baby out of a blender?”

      2. Fetus squirming in a petri dish.

      3. Not. Gonna. Click.

        Dead baby jokes are all fun and games until someone actually shows one.

        Then it is fucking nasty.

      4. A bloody fetus(?) that is large enough to be recognizably human. It moves its leg.

      5. The piece of video that ‘doesn’t exist’.

  36. The president of Somalia LIBERTOPIA!!!!! insists recent advances by Al Shabaab militants don’t mean a resurgence for the Al Qaeda affiliate.
    /progderp

  37. Dog stands guard for a week over other dog trapped in cistern

    Thanks to a loyal setter and a group of volunteers, two dogs were found safe after a week lost in the woods in Washington state.

    Tillie, the setter, stayed with her doggie friend Phoebe for a week. She left each day to go find help. Phoebe a basset hound, was trapped in a concrete cistern in a ravine where Tillie stood guard.

    The nonprofit animal rescue organization Vashon Island Pet Protectors had posted photos of the dogs on their Facebook page, hoping someone would spot them. On Sept. 14, they received a call saying that while they were out on their property, a “reddish” dog had come up to them a few times, before promptly heading back into a ravine.

    Based on the tip, volunteers made their way into the ravine, said Amy Carey with VIPP. After a bit of searching, the volunteers heard a small one-woof response when they called out to Tillie.

    A few minutes later they found her lying beside the old cistern with her head resting on the concrete wall.

    “They knew that meant Phoebe was inside the cistern. Every breath was held and every doggie prayer offered that the peek over the rim would somehow find her safe,” Carey said.

    Both dogs were cold and hungry but are doing well.

    Awwww

  38. Uh no… freedom

    Saudi prisoner, arrested at age 17, faces death by crucifixion

    A prisoner in Saudi Arabia, who was arrested when he was 17 years old, faces “death by crucifixion” after his final appeal was dismissed this week.

    Ali Mohammed al-Nimr was arrested in February 2012 and accused of taking part in anti-government protests and illegally possessing firearms, he was sentenced to death by crucifixion in 2014, International Business Times reported.

    1. I’d say forgive them, but they know exactly what they do.

    2. First offense, I’d say he’ll probably get away with… ah, crucifixion.

    3. Shut up, you silly cosmotarian. The death penalty is like totally cool, man.

      1. I hear Hitler was a vegetarian…

  39. Climate Change And Overfishing Are Driving The World’s Oceans To The ‘Brink Of Collapse’

    Within a single generation, human activity has severely damaged almost every aspect of our global oceans.

    That’s the finding of a new World Wildlife Fund study, which revealed that marine populations have declined 49 percent between 1970 and 2012. The WWF’s Living Planet Index database, maintained and analysed by the Zoological Society of London (ZSL), tracked 5,829 populations of 1,234 species ranging from sea birds to sharks to leatherback turtles to coral reefs. This dataset was almost twice as large as last year’s and focused on the effects climate change, habitat degradation, and over-fishing has taken on marine biodiversity.

    “The picture is now clearer than ever: humanity is collectively mismanaging the ocean to the brink of collapse,” wrote Marco Lambertini, Director General of WWF International, in the report. Over-exploiting fisheries, damaging marine habitat, and global warming have all contributed to the degradation of the world’s oceans.

  40. Christ on a crutch!

    Way to fuck up summarizing your link Ed!

    Let’s look at the abstract of the mosquito paper:

    Using field observations and controlled experiments, we measured how increasing temperatures in the Arctic affected development rates and mortality rates (from predation) of immature Arctic mosquitoes in western Greenland. We then developed and parametrized a demographic model to evaluate how temperature affects survival of mosquitoes from the immature to the adult stage. Our studies showed that warming increased development rate of immature mosquitoes (Q10 = 2.8) but also increased daily mortality from increased predation rates by a dytiscid beetle (Q10 = 1.2?1.5). Despite increased daily mortality, the model indicated that faster development and fewer days exposed to predators resulted in an increased probability of mosquito survival to the adult stage. Warming also advanced mosquito phenology,

    So, basically, they took a look at warm summers and cold summers, and used that year to year variation to generate a model that predicts mosquito populations as a function of temperature.

    They did not say “we observe them having a longer breeding season”.

    This is typical science by press release. A pedestrian paper comes out, the authors send a press release that makes claims that are exciting but not in the paper, and credulous types eat it up.

    1. It worked on Jackass Ace…not that that is saying much…

  41. So this Obama guy is kind of an self-righteous prick:
    Caution Breitbart.com

    President Obama will apparently test just how far Pope Francis’ notorious tolerance will go by inviting a rogue’s gallery of people opposed to Catholic teaching to greet the pontiff at the White House during his visit next week.

    In a stunning show of political indecorum, Obama has invited a series of individuals who publicly flout Catholic teaching, including a pro-abortion religious sister, a transgender woman and the first openly gay Episcopal bishop, along with at least two Catholic gay activists.

    lol, what do these people think the pope is going to do?

    1. All Barry really understands is truly people who disagree with him.

    2. Do we have a legitimate source on this, and not Trumpbart.com?

      1. WSJ is better.

    3. of course the Pope isn’t any better:

      HAVANA (AP) ? Pope Francis plans to meet with Cuba’s president and its priests, its young and its sick, its churchgoers and its seminarians as he travels around the island starting Saturday. But not its dissidents.
      The absence on Francis’ agenda of any meeting with the political opposition has sparked bitter critiques from dissidents who say they feel let down by an institution they believe should help push for greater freedom in Cuba.
      “He should exert more pressure,” said Antonio Rodiles, head of the hardline group Estado de SATS. “In many cases political systems have come under international pressure that has resulted in change, and that’s what needs to be happen with Cuba.”

      Fuck those communist pigs.

      1. The Pope is basically the Cleveland Browns.

        1. To be fair to the Browns, at least they’re not Peronist slavers.

        2. The Pope is basically the Cleveland Browns with better uniforms.

    4. “Obama has invited a series of individuals who publicly flout Catholic teaching, including a pro-abortion religious sister, a transgender woman and the first openly gay Episcopal bishop, along with at least two Catholic gay activists.”

      That’s probably just his usual entourage

      1. …a pro-abortion religious sister, a transgender woman and the first openly gay Episcopal bishop…

        …walk into a bar.

    5. Maybe they’re want the Pope’s help in his pastoral capacity:

      “One of the invitees, retired Episcopal bishop Gene Robinson, made history by becoming the first openly gay episcopal bishop in 2003 and subsequently the first to divorce his gay partner in 2014, after having previously separated from his wife of 14 years….

      “Mateo Williamson, a cross-dressing woman and former co-chairman of the Transgender Caucus for Dignity USA, has also received an invitation to the White House for Pope Francis’ visit. Williamson says that though she now thinks of herself as a man, she continues to be attracted to males. “Today I identify as a gay man and before that was difficult to understand because I thought that in order to be transgender, in order to be a transgender male that I had to be attracted to females but I never have throughout my entire life.””

    6. Meh, everyone involved is an asshole, so I have no problem with both sides being uncomfortable and acting petty.

    7. OMG not two Catholic gay activists!!!

      I hope the Pope has his fainting couch at hand.

    8. In a stunning show of political indecorum

      It’s only stunning if you have been asleep for the past 7 years.

  42. “The Aedes nigripes, a mosquito in the Arctic, is getting a longer breeding season and so showing up earlier in the year. (Say researchers from Dartmouth). ”

    They tell us that for every degree increase in temp the mosquitoes develop 10% faster. That is easy enough to test in lab. What they don’t tell us is how many more mosquitoes they found, how much earlier they hatch, and where they did their study. The article just repeats the assertions and gives no data.

    Ok, I will admit the possibility but Warmistas have been caught being deliberately misleading a number of times in a number of ways, especially those from the Proggie stronghold of formerly merry ‘ol England. Outright lying, faking data, misleading statistics (Warmest August ever! by 0.1 degree + – 0.5 degree if I remember right ).

    I am not gonna call outright bullshit on this, but I am more than a little skeptical and they don’t really have enough credibility left for me to bother checking into it so I am just going to hand waive it away.

    1. The paper does not claim what Ed (and the ABC press release) claims it says.

      … and the fact that the Royal Society is involved pretty much guarantees that the press release is intended to mislead.

      1. Jack and Ace said it is much worse, that we are destroying the planet and that libertarians are bad.
        So that must be true.

      2. I think there’s a good opportunity for a biologist to predict what will happen when you increase the food supply of the mosquito predators. But that probably wouldn’t be newsworthy.

    2. Are y’all blind? Saturday morning hangovers?

      “…mosquitos…I am going to hand waive it away.”

      Ok, I should have said ‘them’ instead of ‘it’.

  43. ‘Universal Urination Duration’ project wins 2015 Ig Nobel Prize

    A study showing that nearly all mammals take the same amount of time to urinate has been awarded one of the 2015 Ig Nobel prizes at Harvard University.

    These spoof Nobels for “improbable research” are in their 25th year.

    The team behind the urination research, from Georgia Tech, won the physics Ig.

    Using high-speed video analysis, they modelled the fluid dynamics involved in urination and discovered that all mammals weighing more than 3kg empty their bladders over about 21 seconds.

    Their subjects included rats, goats, cows and elephants – and although the findings reveal a remarkably consistent “scaling law” in bigger beasts, they also emphasise that small animals do things quite differently.

    Rats can urinate in a fraction of a second, for example. This might make rodents a poor choice for studying urinary health problems.

    “We don’t have a proper animal model for urinary system research,” said the study’s lead author Patricia Yang, a PhD student in mechanical engineering.

    1. Six and a half pound rats? That’s a thing?

      1. D’oh. Let my imagination run wild after the second sentence.

        1. I don’t believe in ROUS’s.

          1. “I don’t believe they exist.”

            DAMNIT SWISS, get it right or suffer the consequences.

          2. “I don’t believe they exist.”

            DAMNIT SWISS, get it right or suffer the consequences.

            1. I…am veklempt.

      2. They use them for mine detection too.

  44. The United States is helping build a wall on the border of Niger to prevent incursions by Boko Haram militants from Nigeria.

    Next step: e-verify for all guest militants. No word on how visa overstays will be handled.

  45. RIP Martin ‘Kiddie’ Kearns….38 y.o. drummer died in his sleep.
    I will be playing BOLT THROWER all weekend. Im sad.

    1. I will be playing BOLT THROWER all weekend. Im sad.

      That’s enough to make anybody sad, but my god man, nobody’s asking you to listen to metal all weekend! Don’t be a hero.

    2. ^^^This, Especially Honor, Valor, Pride.

  46. Finally got around to watching some of the GOP debate. Bless Rand, but everytime I hear how the answer is to go back to following the constitution, I cringe. That ship has sailed. Are Americans going to suddenly say, “Ok, fine. He’s right. Let’s go back to a strict interpretation of the constitution.”

    1. Yep. When he brought up the Tenth Amendment during the tragically short drug war segment after a brilliant first couple interjections, I had to roll my eyes. It plays well to constructionists and it’s not incorrect, but as far as addressing why the feds shouldn’t be involved in this issue it’s terribly anemic. States shouldn’t be perpetuating an abusive, liberty-infringing exercise in futility, either. The futility, expensiveness, community- and family-destroying aspects of the war should be emphasized. He kept bringing up cannabis oil and the little girl in New Jersey, but those families having their children taken away for the crime of treating diseases like MS is a much more relevant case study in how terribly mismanaged the policy is.

      1. Sad, but that seems to be the only way to get proper laws put through. It’s the consequences of a bad law, not the faulty principle it’s based on that will bring people relief. Keep hammering them home to the public.

  47. “Stanford scientists debunk the notion of a lull in global warming”
    […]
    “To test whether it was actually occurring, he and his team used a new statistical framework designed specifically to look at processes like global temperature fluctuations. Their intent was to examine temperature data and the statistical tools scientists had used previously to reach their conclusions about a lull or hiatus.”
    http://www.sfgate.com/science/…..510125.php

    Sorta smells of cherry-picking, no?

    1. he and his team used a new statistical framework

      I wonder how… exotic that “framework” was compared to the statistical standards used in the mainstream of the climate science community.

    2. “Stanford scientists debunk the notion of a lull in global warming”

      Something tells me that the difference between data and a “notion” at the Chron is that a notion represents data they don’t like.

      1. They certainly wouldn’t write that “scientists dispute the data” coming from other scientists. That might suggest there’s a reasonable argument to be made one way or the other.

        No, it’s “Scientists debunk the notion”.

        1. Those scientists are just deniers of the established scientific facts!

    3. “Our analysis shows that there hasn’t been any slowdown or pause,” Diffenbaugh said. “Rather, it showed that global temperature is a noisy system that goes up and down, but that the long-term trend of global warming persists.”

      Right, there’s a long term trend over the course of thousands of years. But it’s a “noisy system that goes up and down” over shorter intervals like say 15 to 20 years.

      And somehow this study using created-from-whole-cloth exotic statistical methods just “debunked” satellite temperature readings?

      1. It may have. I haven’t read any coherent write ups to their statistical analysis, so I can’t say they did something bad.

        Remember, they are talking about surface temperatures. The satellites measure tropospheric temperatures. Different animals (although very much linked with each other).

        With that having been said, the danger with statistical methods designed to tease signal out of noise is that they can tease a signal where none exists. When you use adjacent measurements to correct a single measurement, you could be corrupting good data with bad data (this is a big problem with the HADCRUT surface temperature dataset). IT would not surprise me if their method runs into this sort of problem.

  48. “The United States is helping build a wall on the border of Niger to prevent incursions by Boko Haram militants from Nigeria.”

    Why not just bring 10,000 of them here to the United States?

    1. Airlift Boko Haram to to Chicago. The Gangster Disciples and the Latin Kings will keep them in check.

      1. Cytotoxic says we need all the immigration we can get.

        1. He is welcome to all the 18-21 year old Syrian men he can sponsor!

          That sounds a bit …. off.

          Never mind.

          1. *Narrows gaze…wait a minute, can a narrowed gaze be used on the King of Narrowed Gazes?

  49. ISIS appears to have drones. At least the small commercial type.

    http://www.weeklystandard.com/…..32670.html

    Can you imagine the terror that could be inflicted with a few of these in key places in the US? Just put a couple of sticks of TNT and a fuse and crash them into various buildings.

    1. Imagine what terrorists could do with driverless cars–much bigger payload.

      World wide prosperity is our only hope. Well, that or a security state.

      1. Why does it have to be driverless? SVBIEDs happen a lot in Iraq and Lebanon.

        1. ISIS uses them too.

          My impression is that they use them as a sort of landborne artillery/missiles to punch holes in enemy fortifications.

          The reports I read from Kurds fighting them is that prior to trying to overrun a position, ISIS sends wave after wave of SVBIED’s to degrade the defenders ability to hold the fighters off. Then their battle troops begin their assault.

          It works great when the defenders don’t have good air power backing them up.

    2. Doesn’t sound like martyrdom to me. What’s the second-place prize for a wimpy non-martyr, a steak knife set for executing infidels? Third place is they’re fired?

      1. Caliphates are for closers.

  50. The Washington Post refers to someone’s community as a “rural outpost” “In the backwoods of Kentucky” – and they’re trying to *compliment* the guy!

    It’s almost as if the media are condescending twats even when they’re supposedly praising you

    1. I don’t know what “outpost” is supposed to mean, but I don’t find that part too condescending. The condescending part is the sense of wonder that these rural hicks aren’t freaking out over gay marriage.

    2. I drive through Springfield quite often. It’s not as urbane and swell as Washington, DC, but it’s not exactly a forward operating base in Afghanistan, either.

    3. Condescending is exactly the right word for what those smug twats brapped up for this article.

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