Welcome back to the Weekly Reason Contest! This week's question is:
Sample the food, clothing or art of a culture other than the one you were born into and you may be accused of the new PC crime of "cultural appropriation." Katy Perry was accused of this when she dressed like a geisha for an awards ceremony, as was Selena Gomez for wearing a Hindu style dot on her forehead. Come up with the headline of another celebrity defending his or her "cultural appropriation."
How to enter: Submissions should be e-mailed to firstname.lastname@example.org. Please include your name, city, and state. This week, kindly type "HEADLINE" the subject line. Entries are due by 11 p.m. Eastern Time, Monday, Aug. 14. Winners will appear Friday, Sept. 18, right here at Reason.com.
In the case of identical or similar entries, the first one received gets credit. First prize is a one-year digital subscription to Reason magazine, plus bragging rights. While we appreciate kibbitzing in the comments below, you must email your answer to enter the contest. Feel free to enter more than once, and good luck!
And now for the results of last week's contest: After an analyst at the Defense Intelligence Agency accused the US.. Central Command of altering its ISIS reports to make them sound more optimistic, we asked you for an excerpt from one such Pollyanna-ish update.
THE WINNER: Due to ISIS gobbling up all the smaller terrorist organizations around the globe, Defense Intelligence Agency and US Central Command paperwork has been reduced by over 50 percent!—Michael Devlin, FOB Dahlke, Afghanistan
SECOND PLACE: US training of Iraqi soldiers is finally showing results as Iraqi soldiers now flee the battlefield inside our $220,000 Humvees instead of leaving them for ISIS. — Ted Hamilton, Houston, TX
THIRD PLACE: Recent analysis by Central Command of ISIS beheading videos shows a clear increase in humanity; there is much less barbaric sawing, and more surgical precision. —Fraser Woodford, Santa Monica, CA
Recent adjustments in territorial boundaries have increased the area that hostile forces need to occupy, while reducing the area that allies need to defend. Moreover, allied maintenance costs have been reduced by impromptu turnover of weapons and other equipment.—Richard Lawrence, San Diego, CA
At least it's not Ebola.—Dillon Ross, Evanston, IL
Nearly 40 percent of foreigners killed so far by ISIS have been attorneys.
And while diplomatic initiatives with ISIS have so far been futile, neither Jimmy Carter nor Al Sharpton have offered to mediate.—Warren Meyer, Phoenix, AZ
Mission Accomplished. — Arthur Pearlstein, Arlington, VA