Barack Obama

Is This the Least Informative Pair of Paragraphs in The New York Times This Morning?

If you can find one that's worse, please post it in the comments.

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This just in: Barack Obama might spend a lot of time in the public eye after his presidency ends, or might avoid it, or maybe something in-between.

Emoji Shrugged

One top aide said Mr. Obama respected Mr. Bush's decision to limit his time in public after leaving office, but also admired Mr. Clinton's aggressive use of the spotlight to press his agenda.

"My sense is that he's probably a blend of the two," said David Plouffe, one of Mr. Obama's closest former aides and a member of the library foundation board.

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  1. Since they hate Bush and revere Clinton, I guess that makes Obama a sh*t sandwich on home baked bread.

    1. More like half-baked white bread.

    2. artisinal. mayo.

  2. I always appreciated how little we heard from Hitler after his term was up.

    1. He really knew how to stay underground, away from politics.

      1. Paging Swiss, can I get a *narrowed gaze* over here please?

    2. You know who else stayed buried….

      1. Some zombie never?

      2. Lenin?

        Oh, wait…

  3. “My sense is that he’s probably a blend of the two,” said David Plouffe, one of Mr. Obama’s closest former aides

    “But enough about the President’s race.”

    1. Is reserved preening self regard possible?

      1. It got him elected, didn’t it? Well, not the reserved part, but…

  4. I figure he’ll devote most of his time to income unequality

    1. Helping to create more of it, like during his presidency?

      1. at what point will he have earned enough retirement pay?

        1. What difference, at this point, does it make?

      2. “Helping to create more of it, like during his presidency?”

        One half a million dollar speaking fee at a time.

    2. by making sure he gets more of other peoples income

  5. He recalled how the group, which also included the actress Eva Longoria and Vinod Khosla, a founder of Sun Microsystems, tossed out ideas about what Mr. Obama should do after he leaves the White House.

    He wants to retire to spend more time at home ignoring the Constitution with his family.

    1. Heh. Comment of the day.

      I’d love to see his business cards.

      Barack H. Obama
      Consultant
      Have Constitution, Will Ignore It

  6. …but also admired Mr. Clinton’s aggressive use of the spotlight to press his agenda.

    I’m guessing he most admires the speaking fees Clinton aggressively sought and got.

    1. This was exactly my thought. The Clinton formula is impressive. And Obama is well positioned to follow it. He’s got a wife that could credibly become a candidate at some point, so they could leverage the potential for influence peddling in the same manner as the Clintons.

      It takes a special kind of politician to be able to sell a perceived potential for future influence, rather than selling actual present tense influence.

      1. “It takes a special kind of politician to be able to sell a perceived potential for future influence, ”

        First Black president selling potential First Black female president.

        1. Pimp that wife!

  7. There is no chance that Obama goes away quietly. There’s already been talk of him becoming president of the UN. The guy is young compared to most ex-presidents and has an even larger ego. There isn’t an ounce of humility to him.

    Clinton ran around talking making off hand remarks to make himself look great. Obama will be actively campaigning and pushing policy still. That’s my bet.

    1. President of the U.N. Would suit him nicely. They deserve each-other.

      1. “Deserve’s got nothing everything to do with it.”

      2. Think of the money-making international graft opportunities!

      3. At least as President of the UN he would be in a do-nothing job with no authority or ability to affect my life.

        And – mostly paid for by other people.

        Plus – it might put a tiny dent in his ability to take big stacks of cash from people for . . . I’m not sure what, but I see no reason to make it easy for him.

    2. Obama will be actively campaigning and pushing policy still. That’s my bet.

      While possible, I’d call this a stretch. For the most part he has avoided pushing policy and been a Rorschach test of a candidate and president. Most of the things he has accomplished have either been done by others (healthcare) or done without involving others (all the extra-constitutional executive actions) or done against his wishes (gay marriage).

      If he were to follow suit as UN sec. gen. he’d make speeches along the lines of: “Now, let me be clear. There are those who would endanger their neighbors and violate human rights. We must stand up against this! But all too often, the western powers have gone too far. We must respect all of the nations of the world as they make their own way.”

      1. NEEDZ MOAR SELF SERVING DOUBLETALK! /sarc

    3. “Obama will be actively campaigning and pushing policy still. That’s my bet.”

      Obama wrote two autobiographies by the time he was 40, without the benefit of being president of anything. My bet is at least 2 more autobiographies when he retires. I don’t think he gives a damn about policy.

    4. I wouldn’t be surprised if he becomes the first modern president to actually seek high office even after the presidency. Supreme Court Justice Obama? President Obama of the European Union? General Secretary Obama if he moves to China? just brainstorming here.

  8. They’re going to become government-sanctioned criminals just like the Clintons are. Set up a so-called “foundation” and rake in absurd amounts of money for doing basically nothing.

  9. I can’t find a written record to post (although he has been on this issue before and it’s probably out there) but Rep. Pete King on CNN arguing that Congress should pass a law restricting birthright citizenship and, hey, that part of the Constitution that says anybody born in the US is a US citizen?, well, we’ll just pass the law and then litigate that part later. Why would there not be a law allowing you to punch in the face any Congressman who advocates passing an unconstitutional law who actually admits that he knows it’s unconstitutional but say’s the unconstitutionality is no big impediment to passing and enforcing the law?

    1. Punching them in the face is emotionally satisfying, for a moment. Impeaching them would be far more to the point.

    2. If the media had any balls, the’d preface his name with terrorist supporter every time.

      1. I would leave off “supporter”

  10. Start a caritable foundation/money laundering operation and “help” the less fortunate?

  11. I guess we ought to call you “Professor Backwards”, Jesse. Those were the two most informative paragraphs in today’s NYT.

    1. +1 misspelled named

  12. I’m trying to figure out why I should give a shit.

    1. Because constipation is no fun at all?

      1. I wouldn’t know. If my bowels ever give me trouble, it’s the opposite of constipation.

        1. Like something SF would write about.

          1. “Excuse me, my Santorum is acting up again….”

          2. I’m not the man they think I am at home
            Oh no, no, no, I’m a rocket man
            Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone

            1. I had to tempt fate…

            2. “I swear I just heard … a volcanic eruption? Natural gas explosion…?”

  13. “”””admired Mr. Clinton’s aggressive use of the spotlight to press his agenda.”””

    What post presidental agenda did Clinton have besides making money?

    1. Making MOAR money!

      1. A printing press, it were.

    2. Why should his post Presidential agenda be different?

    3. Getting Hillary elected?

    4. More pussy?

    5. You know it’s funny but I recall Clinton keeping his head down immediately after he left office and what little there was was just fluff about charitable works. It wasn’t until the 2008 campaign that he was out there looking for attention.

    6. Well he made 10 visits to that underage prostitution island.

      So there’s that.

    7. Getting Mrs. Underwood a position of power. I mean, Mrs. Clinton.

  14. Schizophrenia is a presidential entitlement I have no qualm with.

    1. “I’m not schizophrenic! Yes I am! No I’m not!”

      1. Roses are red
        Violets are blue
        I’m schizophrenic
        and so am I.

        1. One of my brother’s childhood friends developed schizophrenia in his late teens and has been, for almost two decades, heavily medicated and dropping in and out of delusion. A few months ago they finally put him on a drug regimen that keeps him persistently cognizant. For the first time in his adult life he’s a fully conscious human being.

          1. For the first time in his adult life he’s a fully conscious human being.

            And, finally, somebody that everyone can agree shouldn’t be killed as a parasite untermensch.

            1. The cops still disagree with that.

          2. A couple friends’ dad was schizophrenic. Their childhood was hell. They finally got straightened out well into adulthood and are both doing great themselves. It was something to watch – I’ve known them since elementary school. Glad they weren’t ruined by their dad’s violent fucked-up-edness. Don’t know whatever happened to him – their mom divorced him, they’d get a call from him every few years, ranting. They never talk about him except how much they’d like to put a bullet in his head if they ever see him again.

            Charming…

            1. That’s… nice.

          3. Dollars to donuts its Clozapine

            my bro went through a decade of delusions until they got him on the ‘dangerous’ med…

            …and it was like someone woke him up from a bad dream. he was still fundamentally nutzo, deep down, but *lucid*, and able to distinguish between perceptions caused by his condition, and external reality.

            neither here nor there, but Almanian / sarcasmic’s “dual personality” jokes about are a strangely common misunderstanding of schizophrenia. I don’t know why that became so popular.

            the predominant symptom is…. sensory perception of external threats, to be a little creative.

            It most often manifests itself in in the classic form of “voices”

            Voices telling them that other people are ‘thinking bad thoughts’ or ‘trying to hurt/ control them’. Its basically a cognitive reflex to dis-association from their own thought processes = fears, not recognized as being sourced from themselves, are projected onto external objects/people. Sinister motivations are attributed to raindrops.

            When you spend a lot of time with someone suffering from the condition, you gradually start to grasp the mechanics of what’s going on in their brain-wiring. and its a terrifying realization. because its a completely self-generated nightmare, and there’s no simple way to turn it off.

            1. that was a reply to spittoon, btw

  15. Im assuming this made the rounds

    http://mobile.nytimes.com/2015…..?referrer=

    1. “the agency’s Special Source Operations division using code names. The division is responsible for more than 80 percent of the information the N.S.A. collects”

      You know who else had an SS.

  16. Can’t he just resume his role as leader to Larry and Curly?

  17. that sums up his whole presidency doesn’t it.

  18. I genuinely think this will depend on the environment. He will be a horrible pain the ass, constantly in the public light, shooting his mouth off like every two-bit community organizer if an R is elected, but if a D, he will probably sit in the background unless they need his support.

    Also, he once suggested that he work for ESPN as a reporter. This is probably the least painful of the options.

    1. Yeah the next President will have Obama peering over his shoulder spouting off unasked for advice at every turn., loudly and in public if the Prez is an R.

    2. I think if it’s a D actually he will still basically insinuate himself into everything. He still has to ‘preserve his legacy’ and his cult will remain large for a while to come, and he’ll likely happily make sure everyone knows he’s willing to direct it toward his favorite in the primaries. I think the dems still in office will grow to resent him fairly quickly.

  19. My guess would be he’s going to be fucking everywhere. He’s a massive attention whore and a raging narcissist. He won’t just quietly go away and leave us in peace.

  20. lol. so no one expects him to do any work? me neither. if it ain’t running his piehole or golf, it’s outside his skillset.

    1. Maybe he’ll apply to be on the next season of Big Break so he can get his PGA Tour card?

  21. It only makes sense they will continue to fabricate the Obama myth begun in 2008 after he’s long gone.

    We may have to endure narratives speaking to Obama being a ‘in a tight spot’ President and that he did indeed revive the earth.

    1. Oh, have no doubt about that; criticizing Obama’s presidency will be made taboo; it’ll be seen as something old people from a bygone era do, like using the n-word, or neo-Nazis. I am willing to bet good money the history textbooks used in schools will add him alongside George Washington, Abe Lincoln, MLK, and Susan B Anthony as a member of the immaculate American pantheon, to be admired and nothing else.

      What’s worse, Clinton will be too if she gets elected.

  22. Narcissist gonna narciss.

  23. Obama will be The Glass Cliff President. It’s a natural extension of The President Not-My-Fault Narrative.

    1. Trigger Warning: The linked Wikipedia article should only be read by a certified Derpetologist

      1. As usual with the femtards, they ignore the obvious explanation: women tend to be more risk-averse than men, and it it likely that, while in good ‘bullish’ times you want a risk-seeking leader, in bearish times you want a risk averse one.

        But then it wouldn’t be something we can blame men for, so toss that one out right off the bat.

    2. You men DO have a lot to apologize for.

  24. Maybe he’ll be awesome or maybe he’ll be super awesome. It’s really up to him. /NYT

  25. ‘There are those who say that opportunities for leadership truly begin at the end of one’s presidency.’

    (dramatic pause)

    ‘I prefer golf’

    (polite laughter)

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