Sharknado and the Rise (and Fall?) of the Mockbuster
As the third Sharknado descends on Washington, D.C., tonight, television critics across the nation seem to be asking themselves and their readers a profound question: "This again?"
NPR sighs that Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No fails at "being really good bad television," while Washington Post critic Hank Stuever half-jokingly postulates that the Sharknado phenomenon might be a fitting metaphor for online culture:
Still, there's half a theory clanking around in my brain that "Sharknado" might be a nifty metaphor for the Internet itself—how it rewards hype for hype's sake; how it destroys everything in its path; how it randomly devours one celebrity while allowing others to thrive; how there's really no difference between shark bait and clickbait.?.?.eh, nobody's listening.
When Reason TV talked to the Sharknado 2 cast and crew at Comicon 2014, we also got a little heady, discussing creativity (and lack thereof) in Hollywood, remix culture, the "earnestness of camp," and the rise of the mockbuster.
Watch below for that video. And, if you dare, check out Sharknado 3 on SyFy tonight at 9pm ET, featuring performances from Mark Cuban, Ann Coulter, and Anthony Weiner.
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The last fifteen minutes of "Sharknado" (the orig recipe) were the best fifteen minutes EVAR on Twitter. Period. End of story.
I didn't even WATCH it and I knew what was going on, just from the Twizzlering. So - I watched it. Awful. I mean worse than awful. Then I watched the second. MOAR WORSER.
I have #3 set to DVR tonight, cause Ima be on Twitter, trying to recreate the magic that was "Sharknado" Twitfest I - The Night of Peace and Love.
So there.
PS Mrs Almanian insisted we watch "Sharknado" last night. I tried to get her to watch...something else, history or something. Nope. "I've never seen it." So we watched it - spent the whole time deconstructing it, "how could THAT happen?", pointing out impossible shit, continuity errors. We had a GREAT time ripping it to shreds. We had a great time.
And isn't that what TV is really about? Bringing families together?
The defense rests...
I thought TV was about titties and simulated sex.
Also watching unspeakable atrocities befall beloved characters and firing off angry tweets vowing never to watch again.
Ah - a fellow "Mary Tyler Moore Show" fan!
/what?
Like in that Weezer song.
Hash Pipe?
Well, if you count pr0n as "TV", yeah....
Simulated sex?
Dude, get cable or satellite. Or one of those doohickeys that lets you stream off the interboobs.
Playboy just went Hi Def on Fios. They show dong going in after midnight
why do you always go straight for the dong, bro?
My dream is for society to degrade to the point where someday I'm watching Sharknado 48: Aftersharks sitting on a toilet in my living room, just letting the poop fall out as it forms, snacking on some kind of cheesy doritos, swilling Mt. Dew from a hamster water bottle thing on a stand above my head.
No blowjob robot? What are you, poor?
Too much hassle. I'll just periodically masturbate as the mood strikes me, getting cheesy dust all over my cock. It'll chafe at first, but eventually you get used to it.
If the semen gets on some of the doritos, well hey, cool ranch dressing.
How is this different from what you do now? What, do you drink Mr. Pibb instead?
Mr. Pibb goes GREAT with 151 rum. DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW!!!
Actually now that I think about it, JJ is probably a Mellow Yellow guy. What a goofball.
You laugh, but I had Mellow Yellow at lunch, because those shit-stains Boston Market don't have honest-to-god Mt. Dew.
You sicken me, JJ. I just had sushi and gelato for lunch.
Also, I rest my case.
You're such an effete liberal city dweller. And a fat-ass. Who the fuck eats ice cream for lunch on a Wednesday?
GELATO IS NOT ICE CR...oh, I see what you're trying to do, JJ. Very clever for a disgusting Boston Market consumer.
In any case, to answer your question: I do. Especially when it's been hot as shit lately. Thursdays are for sorbet, and Fridays are frozen yogurt. Mondays are my day off, and Tuesdays are your mom.
My god you're a fancy-pants. Sorbet? Frozen yogurt? Take the cock out of your mouth once in awhile, will you?
And as for "gelato isn't ice cream!", tell you what. Ask someone who speaks Italian to translate the word "ice cream", and see what he says.
Or take it from this cooking website:
"I've been following the common naming convention in this post, calling American-style ice cream "ice cream" and Italian-style "gelato." But here's the thing: gelato's just the Italian word for ice cream. Though it does stick to the tendencies I've pointed out above, individual recipes do vary. Some call for cornstarch, others for egg yolks; some use higher amounts of sugar and others use less.
But it's all ice cream, just how soft serve is just warmer, freshly churned ice cream, and frozen yogurt is just soft serve made with yogurt as the dairy base. Sure, we can quibble over names and definitions, but at the end of the day, it's all one happy frozen, creamy family. We can argue about differences, or we can sit down and dig in to a pint together? I know which I'd rather do."
Trust some mick bastard like yourself to actively misunderstand the differences between gelato and ice cream. One sounds fancy-pants and one doesn't, for starters, you cultural mongoloid. It pains me that I even have to explain this to you. It's like trying to talk to Warty about restraint. There's just no point.
Until you show me a picture of you in a Duck Dynasty shirt, rebel flag hat, with a compound bow and knock-off Oakley sunglasses standing over the corpse of at least a 6-point buck, you're gay in my eyes.
And also you vote democrat. HA!
Well, JJ, I am the gayest monster since gay came to Gaytown.
Um, without dynamite mounted to the front of the arrows with duct tape? Kinda sounding metrosexual there, Jim-Bob.
Well, there is a real difference between gelato and ice cream, though they're obviously pretty similar. This is not the case with grits and polenta, which are the same fucking thing, except that the latter cost about 15X more in restaurants.
I prefer grits, with butter, and bacon
I love both. I had some fantastic shrimp and polenta at a place off of I-95 in Georgia. Skippers something I think. Yum.
Well, there is a real difference between gelato and ice cream,
Absolutely there is. The markup on gelato is at least 150% more than for ice cream.
Far be it for me to agree with Episiarch, which I categorically deny doing in any way, ever, there is a difference. Gelato has less fat, less air, and is served at warmer temperatures. Because recipes vary so radically, there are ice creams that have some gelato-like features and vice versa, but generally, there is a distinction. I'm not stating a preference, as I like both.
As I said, there's no such distinction between grits and polenta, which have an even greater price difference.
Oh--so 'gelato' is Carvel ice cream. Lower fat content, much less air.
You strike me as more of a Faygo kinda guy.
You can rename your pens to Mr. Boehner
To degrade? You're describing current day voters who like either Trump or Clinton and can't wait to see them square off in debate.
+electrolytes
*kicks ASW in the balls - laughs*
While batin'?
I could really go for a Starbucks right now.
It's all about Kung Fury
+30 of the best minutes committed to a youtube video
Thirded. Great stuff. Mrs. Dean even watched it, all the way through.
I suspect you need to have marinated in cheesy '80s action flix to get the full effect.
Trying... not to agree... with NPR...
Mockbuster
So how'd I miss this term?
Seems like someone needs to brush up on his
[dons sunglasses]
"Engrish As Second Ranguage"
http://www.engrish.com/
Let's see...have you heard the term "splatstick" before? If not, then, well...it's because you're an old fart. Look, the truth hurts!
I recently got a job. And it's NOT at a company full of tweens writing apps that create novel ways to send LOLpics.
Kung Fury's True Survivor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTidn2dBYbY
Over the top, better than most the crap out there
On the subject of intentionally campy TV movies, I occasionally check Lifetime On Demand to see if they have A Deadly Adoption. They never do. 🙁
*tentatively*
H-h-h....Hitler?
Did you say Hitler and sharks? You'll want the second animated gif down. Someone has been removing the proper clips off of Youtube so this is all I could find.
Anything that people will actually watch, on television or in the theater, will get made. The entertainment industry is extra pathetic that way. Look for Snakicane next.
Snakicane is Florida's state motto, is it not?
I thought it was, "It's not the Heat; It's the Humidity"?
Just remember: Donus don't wear alligator shoes.
You want creative homage perfection in a movie? There ya go...
donuts*
/Dammit!
I hereby request that Reason start referring to Trumpular outbursts as:
[looks over reading glasses]
Trumpnado
You know what's funny? It's entirely possible that a movie with that name will be released, with Trump's blessing, during this campaign.
We can only hope.
Obi-Trump Kenobi, you're our only hope.
Trumpnado wouldn't feed his ego enough. Trumpageddon, maybe.
Its Trump, so there will be more than one:
Trumpnado
Trumpnado 2: The Trumpening
Trumpnado 3: Trumpageddon
There can be only one: Trumplander.
No, ProL, The Trumplander was a documentary, and events happened...in real time.
I just realized ProL is the Frylock of H&R. I can't believe I didn't see this before.
They do have similar hair.
Fuck, I love AQTHF. Well played, sir.
Trumpnado 4: Trumpocalypse
Trumpocalypse Now. Directed by Francis Ford Coppola. "Primary, shit. I'm still only in the primary."
Trump Wars: Episode VII - The Farce Awakens. Released on December 18, head to head with a similarly entitled, yet dramatically inferior, film.
Eh. I am just going to rent Steel Magnolias and hope that Shelby listens to her mother and doesn't try to have a baby.
You are crusty
As the third Sharknado descends on Washington, D.C., tonight, television critics across the nation seem to be asking themselves and their readers a profound question: "This again?"
Coming next year, Sharknado 4: Again?
No, no, no, next year is Sharknado. A reboot in an alternative universe.
You meant Sharknado: The Next Generation
That's the TV series.
Next week in Sharknado: Voyager, two of the sharks spin around in the cyclone so fast that they turn into lizards and fuck.
Which, perversely, will be lauded as the greatest episode in the show's history.
Not enough time travel and emitter remodulating
If you knock the sharknado out of phase, it will pass through the town without harming anyone. Not in this universe, anyway. It might have consequences to the mirror universe, where sharks have beards.
Sharknado: Deep Horizon 9
When I walk into the room, it's like gettin' hit with a Pimpnado!