I'm Betting Most Regular Reason Readers Will Go With "Woodchipper"

New Rand Paul video gives viewers three choices of how "to kill the tax code": burn it, chainsaw it, or feed to a woodchipper.

The latest video from Rand Paul asks whether viewers, "How would you kill the tax code?"

Based on the choices and recent history at Reason.com, I think it's a pretty sure thing which method most of you would choose.

Comments

[Judge Chipper]

Place the tax code in Saxby Chambliss' hands, then feed Saxby Chambliss into the woodchipper!

[Dread Pirate Roberts]

No woodchipper deserves that fate.

[Injun, as in from India]

Reason Magazine Commentariat - come for the snark, and stay for the subpoenas!

[Mainer2]

Tear it to pieces between two tractors in a Traktor Pullz.

[GamerFromJump]

Mythbusters showed that that doesn't work very well. Though I pay a lot for an episode that went:

"We're testing how long an IRS bureaucrat can survive when fed feet-first into a woodchipper. So far, the small-scale testing has delivered fairly consistant data of about 90 seconds. Now we're scaling up to this 20-foot industrial chipper. Let's see what happens."

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

I love that show . . .

[Aloysious]

We can do all three.

Or we can woodchip the burning, chainsawed tax code. Sounds like fun.

[Anomalous]

+1 All Of The Above

[Woodchipper of the Apocalypse]

Light the woodchipper on fire and throw the tax code in there with a couple of running chainsaws.

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

I want to shit on the putrid remains . . . Just for fun.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

Ah, yes. The ole destruction of a physical manifestation of a symbol. That will show them.

[hpearce]

Nike it ! maybe the only moral use of the bomb 😀

[egould310 reppin' LBC]

Just do it!

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

SWOOOSH!

There it is!

[Bill Dalasio]

+ 1 It's the only way to be sure!

[Gojira]

That seems a bit much of a coincidence. Is Rand keeping up with what's happening here?

[mad.casual]

Did you hear a whistle too?

[Ghetto Slovak Goatherder]

I saw this video on FB and rushed over here to show you all. Unfortunately Nick beat me to it with this article.

I wouldn't doubt some of Rand's staffers read Reason and saw what was going on.

[Just say Nikki]

He loves us! He really loves us!

[Swiss Servator, rudert schwer!]

Watch it now - that was not the worst.

That was good...

[Hamster of Doom]

That was my first thought. OMG, are we being trolled by Rand Paul?

Improbable. But if so, well played, that man.

[Spencer]

It's a nod. an inside joke. say no more, say n'more! nudge nudge, wink wink...

[Mainer2]

Your wife...is she a goer ? Does she go ? Knew she would, knew she would. nudge nudge, wink wink.

Does she like pictures ? Snap snap nudge nudge wink wink.

[Certified Public Asshat]

PALIN'S BUTTPLUG IS RAND PAUL.

[Hamster of Doom]

WAY TO HARSH MY SQUEE, BRAH.

[Almanian - Trump's Woodchipper]

whoa

[Certified Public Asshat]

PB is thus, Tulpa, who is Weigel, who is Rand Paul.

I'm sorry Hamster.

[Hamster of Doom]

Now you've done it. I'll be forced to listen to Journey until I feel better.

[A Self-Identified $park?]

It's not like reason didn't go out of their way to make a huge fucking deal out of the fallout.

[Pro Libertate]

I thought Paul did comment on the bullshit investigation?

[A Self-Identified $park?]

Lots of people did. That's why I don't see this as all that surprising. He knows where he has a small well of votes.

[Suthenboy]

I think a lot of people keep up with what goes on around here.

Maybe Reason could start letting us know how many clicks they get, particularly on the comments.

Sometimes it feels like no one but us regulars and some of the writers read this stuff. Then out of nowhere something like this, or a subpoena.

I have mentioned this site to a number of people I know and was surprised to find out they read, some of them just for the comments. There have been no 'mehs'. It was either "God I hate those people" to "That is the cleverest bunch on the innertubes" with nothing in between. When I ask why they don't comment the answer is usually that they are too intimidated.

Yeah, I think a lot more than we realize read here.

[Trshmnstr doesn't recycle]

Well, I think today's PM Lynx should be the official Lurker Checkin edition! Come and say hi! We promise we won't send you to Warty's basement!

[DesigNate]

Don't make promises we can't (and more importantly, won't) keep.

[Swiss Servator, rudert schwer!]

Or at least ones Warty or STEVE SMITH won't keep...

[hamilton]

Maybe. I was surprised this week to see of a couple of my prog friends on FB "like" Reason aarticles. Not sure if they knew what Reason was (or reason, for that matter), or if they just read the headlines, but nonetheless it was eye-opening.

[Old Man With Candy]

Do you know who reads the comments? Penn Jillette.

[Statutory Ape]

Thanks for helping me hide that dead hooker's body, btw.

[Chipper Morning Wood]

I think the general rule is that less than 10% of the people contribute most of the content. So I would bet that for every comment on here, at least 10 other people have read the article.

[In League with the Dark Ones]

Or Olivia Nuzzi is...

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

Yes. Rand Paul or his staff.

Did you ever read our fearless leader's column on being called to jury duty two months ago?

If not, you should.

[MikeP]

I say we take off and nuke the entire tax code from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

[Juvenile Bluster]

By that, do you mean DC? Because I'm totally in favor of that.

(is that a true threat, or is it eliminationist rhetoric? Or both?)

[MikeP]

Rhetoric only. In fact, even the suggestion of burning makes me uncomfortable, given that the tax code can be bound as a book. Shades of Fahrenheit 451 and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

[Spencer]

Books are not sacred. They are destroyed all the time.

[Hamster of Doom]

Burning the tax code would be a repressive act against creativity and free expression.

This is Hamster's sarcasm.

[A Self-Identified $park?]

When one of my books starts falling apart, I burn it and make a bunch of my other books watch. I've had surprisingly few books fall apart.

[Swiss Servator, rudert schwer!]

pour encorager les autres

[Heroic Mulatto]

Books are not sacred.

*record needle scratch sound*

[Suthenboy]

My thoughts exactly.

I have several thousand.

[Joshua]

"A" book? Hardly. If you've ever seen Stossel wheel it out, that mountain of shit is bigger than an entire set of encyclopedias.

It does not deserve the respect that a book does.

[Corneliusm]

(is that a true threat, or is it eliminationist rhetoric? Or both?)

I would hope that federal judges and prosecutors are aware that the logistics of launching nuclear weapons from space are well beyond the capabilities of your common internet troll.

But at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if they pursue charges anyway.

[commodious spittoon]

But how does the DoJ know MikeP is not, in fact, a high-ranking NORAD official? The only way to be certain is to subpoena the Reason Foundation for his and every other commenter's records. Just to be sure.

[DesigNate]

For all that shit Prosecutor knows, MikeP could have his own space station, a Watchtower if you will, with freaking lasers and the ability to drive it into any place in the world at the whim of some would be gods.

[JWatts]

So, his orbiting laser Battlestation of Doom is protected by the Freedom of Religion clause? I like the way you think.

And also, Bill Gates doesn't have a Battlestation of Doom, so Epic Fail.

[croaker]

How about praying for a meteor strike during a joint session?

Nothing to big, just enough to make another Meteor Crater, AZ.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I'm subpoenaing the records of everyone who watched that video more than once.

[Aloysious]

I'm in full civil disobedience mode.

*pulls down pants; moons FoE*

[Fist of Etiquette]

You do that and you're likely to find a big fat subpoena where you don't want one.

[A Self-Identified $park?]

You should be proud of your poena, Fist.

[commodious spittoon]

+5"

[Aloysious]

+1 Big Ten Inch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00zuDUNTeXM

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Or does he? He just presented to you, after all.

[croaker]

Suck it, pig.

Need the graphic of miss piggy going down on kermit for the full effect.

[egould310 reppin' LBC]

Woodchipper!

[Vampire]

But..... but....... but, Hihn wouldn't be able to impose his tax system on folks. All the humanity!!!

[John Titor]

He's currently too busy trying to come up with ways to kill off the Jews for being 'the most barbaric people in human history'.

[Pan Zagloba]

You know who else...

[JPyrate]

Please do not summon crybaby Hinh !!!!!

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

I'd chose water-boarding over conversing with Hihn. That guy's fucking crazy.

[JPyrate]

Not only that he cries like a bitch if you do not agree with his fascist plans. That and I'm trying to have a "No Troll Tuesday" =)

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

I think The Hinh is a bipolar schizophrenic. His posts read like the Unabomber's manefesto.

Maybe he IS the Unabomber . . .

[Clich? Bandit]

That is fucking OUTSTANDING

And of course, In honor of the juvenile blowhards,

WOODCHIPPER!

[John Titor]

Paul/Woodchipper 2016...fuck it, Woodchipper/Paul 2016.

"In election news, in last night's debate Candidate Woodchipper managed to consume most of Donald Trump's 'hair' and scalp before moderators pulled him out. Audience reaction was mostly positive."

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Nick knows us so well.

'To the Woodchipper!' should be Paul's slogan.

[Spencer]

he should get a campaign bus that has a woodchipper mounted on the back. Actually, it should chip in bad laws and turn them into fuel...

Man I would be a badass campaign manager.

[A Self-Identified $park?]

The real question is, what is the word that describes the action of putting something/someone into a woodchipper? Woodchipperize? Woodchipperate?

[sarcasmic]

Tenderize.

[Spencer]

chipped.

[egould310 reppin' LBC]

I think it might depend on the "grain" of the person who was run through the chipper. If the meat comes out fine (like bolgna meat), it was woodchipperized. If the meat comes out chunky (like stew meat), it was woodchiperated.

[sarcasmic]

Seymour.

[DEATFBIRSECIA]

Paulerate

[fieryscribe]

To bharara. It's onomatopoeic and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I went to Bharara on my last vacation. Next year we're going to the island of Onomatopoeia.

[Swiss Servator, rudert schwer!]

*narrows gaze*

[Mainer2]

Is that the island in Veronica Lake ? Or was that the Isle of Lucy ?

[IndyEleven]

Udaying? I udayed three shrubs, they were udaying four judges, etc.

[AlmightyJB]

Destatist.

[Trshmnstr doesn't recycle]

The progressives had their Bull Moose party. It's time to have a Woodchipper Party.

Wood Chipper for President

[Trshmnstr doesn't recycle]

DISCLAIMER: I have made no threat to put anybody into a woodchipper. I have merely suggested an alternative candidate for the presidency.

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

^ pussy

[Je suis Woodchipper]

No way that's a coincidence.

[Spencer]

a little TOO on the nose?

[T]

The answer is always fire, people.

[C. S. P. Schofield]

Do all three. Saw it into managable chunks, chipper them, burn the chips. Then, for God's sake, mix the ashes with salt and scatter them in three different bodies of running water.

[commodious spittoon]

*Bureaucrat shrugs, pulls lever. Somewhere in the bowels of D.C. an industrial press springs to life, assembling another copy*

[Brochettaward]

See, just when I thought Rand was going full Socon retard on me, go and do something like this and totally redeem himself.

[The Immaculate Trouser]

*Urge to vote for and donate to Rand Paul rising*

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

Burn it!

[Caress of Woodchipper]

Pander to me.

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

I'm betting you aren't as good at future- telling as you think you are. Especially when it comes to predicting the Commentariat Blowards here.

So, I say BURN IT! Black lives matter!

[Ken Shultz]

Gabba Gabba

One of us!

[Raven Nation]

THE Gabba

[See Double You]

Just another reason Rand Paul is the best, and MH can slither back into the hole from which he came.

[Ken Shultz]

Out of curiosity, does "CW" mean you listen to both country and western?

[Raven Nation]

I assumed he was an exec at the network.

[See Double You]

It's a short story that I'm going to call a "long story" so I don't have to answer your question. 😉

[Mr. Paulbotto]

Is it totally horrible of me that when they reported the wrong-door apartment raid in Boise yesterday, a large part of me hoped that it was chez Hihn that got hit?

[Juan "Brushmaster" Seguin]

That's pretty hihnhumane.

[Swiss Servator, rudert schwer!]

*applause*

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

Winner, winner!

Your prize -Breast or legs?

[See Double You]

No. The guy is a dishonest asshole who cries about ad hominens while simultaneously engaging in them.

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

Michael Hihn is a libertarian messiah - didn't you get the memo? He helped THOUSANDS of libertarians get elected into office - didn't you get that memo either? He once published in 1996 . . . But, like Ted Kaczynski, no one appreciates his tomes anymore.

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

Nah, man. He has it coming.

[Gilbert Martin]

The tax code is WAY too big for any of those ways to destroy it.

You will need one of these to do it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pu88gb1EpmI

[libertreee]

Rand Paul's tax proposal cannot work. Did he ever even read the tax code? Has anyone commenting here even read Title 26 Subtitle A, the US Individual Income tax? All you read is what the IRS puts out in bulletins, then is disseminated in the mainstream media and by the tax farming industry. The IRS code is simply an edited compilation of hundreds of statutes at large, most of them going back to the US Civil War, predating the 16th Amendment. What does the Senator think he will "blow up"? Can Rand Paul name the statute in Title 26 that makes the average American worker liable for the tax? No one else has. He claims to be a Constitutionalist. But his proposal would just paper over the constitutional issues re the US Individual Income Tax. What about due process of law? Does his proposal address the tax collection procedures? Will the IRS still be able to seize your earnings and property without due process? His proposal is naive and its main selling point is mere convenience. See my blog-You cant end or reform the income tax if you don't know what it is! http://tinyurl.com/pp2nxe8

[Suthenboy]

You are unfamiliar with how woodchippers work.

[Suthenboy]

And also unfamiliar with why the tax structure is so difficult to reform.

There are armies of accountants and lawyers out there making a living off of it. No one gives a shit what the law says.

[Lee G]

This

Americans spend an estimated between $67 billion and $378 billion annually in accounting costs related to filing taxes. Americans spent more than 6 billion hours (2011) complying with the tax code. This represents an annual workforce of 3.4 million?a population that could be the third largest city in the United States, surpassing Chicago (2,707,120), Houston (2,145,146), and Philadelphia (1,536,471), and larger than the population of 21 states. A workforce equivalent to that employed by the four largest US companies?Walmart, IBM, McDonald's and Target?combined.

Big CPA exists.

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

Big? Are you insinuating something about my figure, buddy?

[Zeb]

Can Rand Paul name the statute in Title 26 that makes the average American worker liable for the tax?

Oh, you are one of those people.

[Mr Lizard]

Talk about pandering to your base

[waffles]

#LibertarianMoment

He's pandering to US now!

[AlmightyJB]

Rand Mutha Fuckin Paul!

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

But, do black lives matter? That IS the question . .

[Slammer]

I've? seen things... you people wouldn't believe. Tax codes on fire off the shoulder of Orion; I watched woodchippers glitter in the dark near the Tannh?user Gate...

[F. Whiny Comments, Jr.]

So...no votes for "shoot it on the courthouse steps", then?

[pronomian]

Woodchipper. Hmmm, didn't people get in trouble with another woodchopper comment?

[Woodchippin' 4 Jesus]

We're prodding the lion. . .

[Spoonman.]

*twEEEEEEEEt*

Holy shit, a whistle! I'm the dog for once!

[pronomian]

Flat tax doesn't eliminate the IRS. Fairfax.org

[RAHeinlein]

http://fairtax.org/

[darkflame]

Nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure

[DEG]

I feel my cold hear warming.

[DEG]

I feel my cold hear warming.

heart, heart, dammit!

[Cyto]

That was a hoot. Did anyone else have one of those alternate ending albums back in the 70's? Multiple interleaved grooves and wherever you dropped the needle the end of the story would branch. I think Zappa had a whole album side that worked that way.

It was kinda retro-fun to click on "woodchipper" and get more woodchipper footage.

[FreeRadical*]

Rand Paul's campaign is doomed. He was not wearing safety goggles while using that chainsaw, nor for that matter, while using the woodchipper. I fear the ensuing scandal will be more than he can bear.

*I do not own a woodchipper.

[FreeRadical*]

Shit, not that anyone cares, but he was indeed wearing safety goggles. I guess the safety nazis won't have anything after all.

[Agile Cyborg]

Page by fucking page the tax code should be fed like the wallet-pillaging debris it is into the oral cavity of any legislator associated with its expansion.

[AFSlade]

Amen, AC. Ever poetic in your rhetoric.

[AFSlade]

Look at Paul, pandering to the Woodchipping constituency!!!11!1!!
/Hihn

Do you know if you click on your choice it takes you to a separate video of him doing that particular method of killing the tax code?

Okay, he gets my vote now. The woodchipper thing cannot be an accident.

And a propos of the article about how he was/wasn't changing his campaign at all to be more libertarian, and he puts out a video advocating a flat tax of 14.5%, which I think may have tremendous support, by the way.

[perlchpr]

I think I'm pretty much going to have to go for "Kill It With Fire", here...

[tz]

Take it to Planned Parenthood where they can dismember it and sell off the parts.

[Riesen]

Looks like Buttplug managed to write about it, too.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/.....uts-again/

[Moridin]

Been reading Reason (mostly for the comments) for years now. Only rarely do I comment. Mostly because after reading the comments on a particular article, someone usually said what I was going to post; so nothing to add. lol

[egould310 reppin' LBC]

Thanks Tundra. I'm on my iPhone, and can't do YouTube links efficiently. I knew someone would come through.

[Sudden]

It's ok Tundra.... we're forever yours.

Faithfully.