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Culture

Bruce Jenner Is Now Caitlyn Jenner

And appears on July's Vanity Fair cover

Jesse Walker | 6.1.2015 1:17 PM

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It's against nature to make her look so young. She's in her sixties, for heaven's sake:

Paste this on your old Wheaties boxes.
Annie Leibovitz

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NEXT: Doomster Paul Ehrlich Unrepentant: "My language would be even more apocalyptic today."

Jesse Walker is books editor at Reason and the author of Rebels on the Air and The United States of Paranoia.

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  1. R C Dean   10 years ago

    Its against nature

    Oh, you . . . .

    1. WTF   10 years ago

      I instantly heard "Goodbye Horses" in my head.

      1. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)   10 years ago

        "Was she a big fat girl?"

        1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

          Roomy?

        2. Rhywun   10 years ago

          Quid pro quo, Caitlyn!

      2. Chumby   10 years ago

        It puts the lotion on its skin.

  2. Homple   10 years ago

    He could just as well decide he's Marie of Romania, for all I care.

  3. Gene   10 years ago

    Nice alt text!

    1. WTF   10 years ago

      I would have gone with "Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me; I'd fuck me hard".

    2. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)   10 years ago

      I'd think Cocoa Puffs:

      "I'm koo-koo 4..."

      Or Lucky Charms:

      "They took me Lucky Charms!"

      would be more appropriate cereal boxes.

  4. Episiarch   10 years ago

    "Call me Ishmael. I mean Caitlyn. I mean Catelyn Stark."

    1. Krieger's Waifu   10 years ago

      Lady stoneheart?

      1. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

        NO SPOILERS

        1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

          My food almost spoiled.

        2. Sudden   10 years ago

          We're now officially allowed to spoil things in the book that the show refuses to acknowledge since the show is now spoiling the book for those of us with basic literacy.

          1. mad libertarian guy   10 years ago

            Or you have a fundamental misunderstanding about what the show is "supposed" to be. Expecting the show to be a twin if the book and judging the show based on that is a fool's errand.

            It's a separate piece of art. Treat it like one.

            1. Sudden   10 years ago

              except that is wasn't for the first 3-4 seasons. It remained mostly faithful to the books for four years with only minor deviations. But this season it has ventured off into re-writing things wholesale and deserves scorn for it, even if last night's episode and fabrication was bad ass.

              1. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

                But they did make changes early on and it was obvious those changes would have major impacts on the story later. What's the show going to do, randomly introduce new characters with no backstory or explanation of who they are?

                The reason Sansa is w/ Ramsay rather than Jeyne Poole is because the show never even mentioned Jeyne Poole other than some random cameo at the beginning where I don't even believe they give her name. So in order to have the entire Theon storyline unfold they had Sansa enter that relationship instead since it would have made no sense to suddenly bring in a character the audience had never seen.

                There are entire characters who never even appear in Game of Thrones and they didn't bring back Lady Stoneheart at the end of Season 4 (though there is speculation she'll show up at the end of this season because the last episode is called "Mother's Mercy").

                It's been growing increasingly different from the books over its entire run so that every season has less in common with the book. Robb even married a completely different woman.

              2. thom   10 years ago

                except that is wasn't for the first 3-4 seasons. It remained mostly faithful to the books for four years with only minor deviations.

                Right. It remained faithful to the first three books, because they were good books. Books four and five went off the rails. Making anything remotely faithful to those snoozers would not result in compelling television.

              3. UCrawford   10 years ago

                Because they didn't have the option of waiting another decade or more for Martin to quit fucking around and write the remaining books.

                Don't like it? Don't watch the show and wait until Martin writes the books. But whining "it's not what Martin would have done" is ridiculous and stupid. If HBO did what Martin had done, they'd have shelved the season indefinitely then insulted anyone who asked about the next season. That's what Martin does.

            2. SimonJester   10 years ago

              ... are we still talking about Jenner?

              1. Careless   10 years ago

                No, something more interesting than a crazy old man.

          2. oldengineer   10 years ago

            Didn't the book mostly spoil the book for those of us with basic literacy?

            I mean.. I was reduced to mailing death threats to the publisher (in absence of any editorial figure) by Book 4.

    2. Hey Nikki!   10 years ago

      That's actually an apt and fun reference due to the obsession throughout Moby-Dick with classification and its consequences!

      1. Episiarch   10 years ago

        I should have known you'd come in and ruin my joke by saying something intelligent. Thanks a lot. Jerk.

        1. Hey Nikki!   10 years ago

          I almost left it alone, but I thought you would be happier if you got to make fun of me about it.

        2. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

          From hell's heart you should stab at her.

          1. Grand Moff Serious Man   10 years ago

            And he piled upon Nicole's white hump the sum of all the general hatred and rage felt by his whole race from Adam down; and then, as if his chest had been a mortar, he burst his hot heart's shell upon it.

            1. Hey Nikki!   10 years ago

              Sexy.

            2. Rich   10 years ago

              "What hump?"

              1. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)   10 years ago

                The white one.

                If you want to be choosy.

                1. SimonJester   10 years ago

                  Racist! ..the white hump ... indeed....

              2. Crackers Boy   10 years ago

                I got it...

                CB

          2. Cloudbusting   10 years ago

            When this last task was accomplished it was noon, and the seamen went below to their dinner. Silence reigned over the before tumultuous but now deserted deck. An intense copper calm, like a universal yellow lotus, was more and more unfolding its noiseless measureless leaves upon the sea.

            /favorite

      2. Warty   10 years ago

        NO ONE READS BOOKS YOU NERD

        1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

          Print is dead.

        2. Rich   10 years ago

          Especially this one.

        3. Hamster of Doom   10 years ago

          ... i read books....

          1. Paul.   10 years ago

            'read' is pronounced in the past tense here, right?

      3. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

        "That's actually an apt and fun reference due to the obsession throughout Moby-Dick with classification and its consequences!"

        Oh God, Nicole, it's like "the worst" had a baby with Hitler and they named that baby this exact sentence.

    3. Boomer   10 years ago

      "My name is John Johnson, but everyone here calls me Vicki."

    4. juris imprudent   10 years ago

      I was thinking Brienne of Jenner.

      1. Chumby   10 years ago

        Hodor

  5. Warty   10 years ago

    Call me Caitlyn. Some years ago- never mind how long precisely- having little or no vag in my pants, and nothing particular to interest me in my dong, I thought I would sail about a little and see the wild side of the world. It is a way I have of driving off the penis and regulating the circulation.

    1. This Machine   10 years ago

      *rises to join in thunderous ovation*

  6. Aresen   10 years ago

    Why am I supposed to care?

    1. Bodica Slayer of Drones   10 years ago

      HOPE AND CHANGE!!!!!

      1. Hamster of Doom   10 years ago

        No. Caitlyn. Says so right in the article.

    2. Hyperion   10 years ago

      Libertarian moment, dude. It has been proclaimed.

  7. Palin's Buttplug   10 years ago

    So that's what "John" has been up to.

    1. Episiarch   10 years ago

      Funny as ever, Tulpa. I still can't understand how you don't write for The Tonight Show.

      1. HeteroPatriarch   10 years ago

        He's Tulpa now? These sockpuppets are too hard to keep track of.

        1. Hyperion   10 years ago

          From this point onward, all trolls shall be called Tulpa. So let it be written, so let it be done.

          1. The Sego Sago Kid   10 years ago

            That sounds EXACTLY like something Tulpa would say...

            1. Hyperion   10 years ago

              You got me, I'm Tulpa, you rat fucking bea tagger.

              1. The Sego Sago Kid   10 years ago

                Wait a minute, how can you be Tulpa's sock puppet when I'm actually Tulpa's sock puppet?

                It's Tulpas all the way down!

                1. SimonJester   10 years ago

                  "I am Tulpa!" "No! I am Tulpa! "No, I am Tulpa!" "No! I am Spart..." "Shut up! Wrong movie!"

          2. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

            Even Red Tony?

      2. Weigel's Cock Ring   10 years ago

        I'd do him. Uhhhh, her? Nope, him.

  8. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    WHO'S JENNER TRYING TO FOOL HERE? Total airbrush job.

    1. Drake   10 years ago

      The could have brushed the bulge into a camel-toe.

      1. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

        Which reminds me, Google Image Milla Jovovich Purple. You will not be disappointed.

        1. wwhorton   10 years ago

          Dayum! I'm not even into skinny chicks, but I think it might be because they don't look like Milla Jovovich.

    2. MP   10 years ago

      I mean, shit, look at the thigh gap. Oh wait...

      1. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

        "Mr. President, we must not allow a thigh gap!"

        /General "Buck" Turgidson

    3. Demonsong   10 years ago

      What 65 year old woman on a magazine cover ISN'T airbrushed nearly beyond recognition?

      1. Bodica Slayer of Drones   10 years ago

        The Breakfast of Champions!!!

      2. Another David   10 years ago

        Hitler?

        Wait, dammit, I know how this joke works. Give me a minute.

        1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

          You know who else is named David, don't you?

          No wait, that's wrong....

          1. Mx Trshmnster of the Dumpster   10 years ago

            David Hitler, my local kosher butcher?

      3. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

        I knew it! Menopause is called that because they grow a penis!

        1. Episiarch   10 years ago

          "Manopause"

        2. Rich   10 years ago

          *** rising intonation ***

          And don't forget His-terectomy ....

          1. Hyperion   10 years ago

            The patriarchy is everywhere.

        3. Chumby   10 years ago

          Addadicktome surgery?

  9. Bodica Slayer of Drones   10 years ago

    It looks like Janice Dickerson's twin!!!

    1. Hamster of Doom   10 years ago

      o.O

      O.o

      O.O

      SOME THINGS CANNOT BE UNSEEN.

      1. albo   10 years ago

        I need GPS for my penis because it has retreated into my body and is hiding in fear.

        1. R C Dean   10 years ago

          What, you don't have the "Find my Penis" app?

          h/t to SugarFree. Most hilarious single moment of the Warty DoomCock stories.

          1. Eggs Benedict Cumberbund   10 years ago

            Haze

        2. Bodica Slayer of Drones   10 years ago

          It's shrinkage, son. Just stay out of cold water and it will grow back.

  10. Bodica Slayer of Drones   10 years ago

    Damn! American medicine has come a long way, baby!!!!

  11. Bodica Slayer of Drones   10 years ago

    When will the new WHEATIES box "come out"?

    1. Rich   10 years ago

      "I've been eating them for years!"

      1. Ska   10 years ago

        Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

        /TG

    2. The Bad Captain Madly   10 years ago

      Umm... I'm not sure about the Wheaties box. Maybe the Fruit Loops box would be more appropriate.

  12. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

    Is this the Libertarian Moment?

    1. Bodica Slayer of Drones   10 years ago

      Kaitlyn still votes Republican. Same as Bruce.

      So - nope.

      However, I need to review the laws on this, as I am a notary public.

      1. Agammamon   10 years ago

        An *American* one or a Venezuelan one?

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zwN5aJTY-Y

        1. Bodica Slayer of Drones   10 years ago

          Wrong. You're very, very close with your Venezuela guess though.

    2. Hyperion   10 years ago

      I think this is it.

    3. Paul.   10 years ago

      Yeah, kind of a let down, isn't it?

  13. sarcasmic   10 years ago

    Ugh. Some things can't be unseen.

    1. Bodica Slayer of Drones   10 years ago

      Like the man hands?

    2. Warty   10 years ago

      Like your visions of delicious, delicious dicks?

      1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

        Warty,

        Le Telepath? restaurant can handle that order

        (turn volume down if at work)

        1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

          Dang it!

          I don't have time to fix the link, but if you go to Youtube and type in "Happiness and Cyanide Le Telepath?" you'll be able to watch the short cartoon I failed to provide a link to.

          1. Warty   10 years ago

            Yes, it seems pretty much like sarc.

  14. entropy_factor   10 years ago

    DISGUSTING. For all those who proclaim to "fucking love science", let me introduce you to basic genetics and the X and Y chromosomes.

    1. Hugh Akston   10 years ago

      This isn't about genetics, it's about identity.

      1. Hey Nikki!   10 years ago

        Why do you hate science, logic, and nature, Hugh?

        1. Hugh Akston   10 years ago

          Because I could never get published in any of them.

          1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

            Logic is a porn magazine. They got bought out last year.

            1. Hugh Akston   10 years ago

              Maybe I should resubmit my paper on baudy syllogisms?

              1. R C Dean   10 years ago

                Also known as "limericks".

                1. SimonJester   10 years ago

                  No, it is all the Tab A and Slot Be jokes.

                2. Cis-Gendered Shitlord   10 years ago

                  Right. Identity is what matters, not biological facts. This is why Bruce Jenner is as every bit a woman and definitely not just a man with a mangled penis.

                  /sarc

        2. Episiarch   10 years ago

          Hugh told me you stand for everything he doesn't stand for. Also he told me you guys look like dorks.

      2. H?gh_Akston   10 years ago

        This isn't about genetics, it's about identity.

        Everything's about identity with you!

      3. Bodica Slayer of Drones   10 years ago

        Sure, Dame Edna.

        Cheerio!

    2. Bodica Slayer of Drones   10 years ago

      As long as you're not footing the bill, why the hell do you care?

      1. Homple   10 years ago

        Good point. When I was a kid we had to drive five miles to the carnival in town and pay a quarter to get a short look at a freak show very much inferior to what you can now see for free 24/7 just about anywhere in the country.

        1. Bodica Slayer of Drones   10 years ago

          God Bless America!!#

          1. Homple   10 years ago

            I think the increased availability and zero cost of such entertainment is one of the benefits of the internet.

            1. Bodica Slayer of Drones   10 years ago

              Better than a cat video, n'cest pas?

      2. Sudden   10 years ago

        As long as he's not preventing some maladjusted psycho who married into the fucking Kardashian family of all things from cutting his dick off, why the hell do you care if he rightly criticizes Bruce Jenner's make-believe time?

      3. Sam Haysom   10 years ago

        As long as you aren't conspiring to commit terrorism why do you care about the patriot act. These kind of arguments work both ways. It seems like and engaged far-sighted individual would be interested in and have an opinion on both. That and he is absolutely right Bruce Jenner was born and will die a man.

        1. Marty Comanche   10 years ago

          As long as you aren't conspiring to commit terrorism why do you care about the patriot act.

          Because the PATRIOT Act has led to the NSA scooping up the personal information of law-abiding citizens and politicians have a storied history of misusing the personal information of law-abiding citizens.

          These kind of arguments work both ways.

          Sounds reasonable. Do you have an example?

          It seems like and engaged far-sighted individual would be interested in and have an opinion on both. That and he is absolutely right Bruce Jenner was born and will die a man.

          I am a voting, tax-paying citizen of the United States. I care what that government I'm paying for is doing. I even care about foreign and past governments because knowing about such things broadens my worldview. I desire to know as little as possible about the Kardashians et al. Every piece of trivia I ingest at the checkout counter about Kylie Jenner or Kim Kardashian's hindquarters is a waste of disk space.

          1. Sudden   10 years ago

            Culture trumps politics. Whether or not you care to follow Jenner-paloosa, many people will. And it will establish cultural trends that reverberate and affect the world around you, both in terms of your day to day life and the politics of gender/sex-orientation/sex-identity.

            I don't think you'll find a single libertarian here arguing that Jenner should be prevented by law from doing what he's doing. But you'll find many among us who don't find it something that merits celebration but actually think Mr. Jenner could use some counseling to deal with the biological reality of his 23rd chromosomal pair. The same way that libertarians believe consenting adults should be free to smoke crack even while we'd encourage people not to smoke crack and recommend treatment for someone who does.

            1. Sam Haysom   10 years ago

              It's not just the celebration aspect- this cover is a lie. Bruce Jenner looks nothing like this. Donald McCloskey is a far better example of what late-life transsexuals look like. Much of the horrifyingly high levels of suicide associated with transsexualism result from the inevitable failure of the surgeries to make them look like a woman. This cover is selling a version of surgical transformation than is impossible to attain. A libertarianism so permissive that it countenances falsehood in its kowtowing to cultural leftism is a disaster.

              1. Trevor St McGoodbody   10 years ago

                News flash: every magazine cover is a lie. Some just tell greater lies than others.

                What's your point exactly, though? That we should be less permissive toward transgender people so that they'll be morally scolded into not doing what they want?

                1. Sam Haysom   10 years ago

                  So basically contrarily to all protesting libertarians you don't just oppose government coercion you oppose social pressure too. Good at least it's honest. For libertarians decriminalization is a pretext to wholesale normalization.

              2. Rhywun   10 years ago

                Much of the horrifyingly high levels of suicide associated with transsexualism result from the inevitable failure of the surgeries to make them look like a woman.

                Citation, please - from a reputable source.

                Hell, RuPaul has a dozen "ladies" on his show every year that do a passable impression of a woman with nothing more than makeup and duct tape.

                1. Sam Haysom   10 years ago

                  That's not transsexualism. That's crossing dressing. Nathan Lane in the Birdcage isn't a transsexual he's a flamboyant gay.

              3. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

                Fuck the cover. Everyone knows he'd only doing this so he can be accepted for admission to Smith. Everyone.

            2. Trevor St McGoodbody   10 years ago

              I'd only recommend drug treatment if there were some indication the person actually needed help. Doing drugs itself doesn't have to be terribly detrimental and merit well-meaning interference. Similarly, I don't think Bruce Jenner's rejection of his "biological reality" inherently means that he's disturbed or in need of counseling. I see no reason why sex chromosomes have to be all-determinative in who we are, how we look, and how we express ourselves. That's just fundamentally irrational and ridiculous.

              1. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)   10 years ago

                I don't think Bruce Jenner's rejection of his "biological reality" inherently means that he's disturbed or in need of counseling.

                His behavior on that shitty TV show, on the other hand...

                1. Sam Haysom   10 years ago

                  You believe in magic don't you.

              2. Sam Haysom   10 years ago

                Chromosomes are now irrational. I'm basically at a loss for words. This is young earth creationism levels of denialism. So basically by your logic you just have to chose to stop having an extra chromosome in order to stop having Downs.

            3. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)   10 years ago

              Imma say it: "Bruce Jenner would have been better off smoking crack!"

          2. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

            "Every piece of trivia I ingest at the checkout counter about Kylie Jenner or Kim Kardashian's hindquarters is a waste of disk space."

            Oh, I don't know...

            http://oceanup.com/wp-content/.....ple-7v.jpg

            1. Brendan   10 years ago

              Given the amount of fame/money that Kardashian/Jenner women have, his is a smart move.

        2. Trevor St McGoodbody   10 years ago

          Who cares if Caitlyn/Bruce dies a biological man? Do you believe anyone is ignorant of that fact?

          The real question is why you think that matters. You're born and will die the biological child of your parents, but does that mean you can't consider adopted parents as close to you as any parents could be? You might be carrying the gene for male-pattern baldness. Does that mean you can't use Rogaine? A woman might be at serious risk for a particularly virulent form of cancer. Do she have to keep her uterus, cervix or breasts in honor of some sort of biological imperative to maintain female body parts?

          You're making a thoroughly facile argument. Being human means rejecting your biology in so many ways, and if you were at all honest with yourself, you'd realize that you do it, too. Caitlyn/Bruce's rejection is just "weird," and you feel icky and uncomfortable about it, so all you can muster is what you believe is a biological trump card. The problem is that no one is asserting that female appearance or surgically altered genitals and breasts makes someone a biological female with XX chromosomes, so it's hardly worth mentioning.

          1. Sam Haysom   10 years ago

            Rage like the kind you are demonstrating is the byproduct of a refusal to accept biology. This anti-science mindset is rampant among libertarians and fundemtalist. Culture is the residue of biology as libertarians are soon to find out.

            1. MJGreen   10 years ago

              Shut up. Moron.

              1. Sam Haysom   10 years ago

                Stop breathing through your mouth.

    3. Trevor St McGoodbody   10 years ago

      I can't go a single day without thinking about my chromosomes and how they play such a pivotal role in determining how I dress and who I fuck.

  15. Free Society   10 years ago

    The man hands are strategically hidden from view.

    1. Lord Humungus   10 years ago

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSL4cmFW_GU

      1. Free Society   10 years ago

        Obligatory

    2. Bodica Slayer of Drones   10 years ago

      What about the big ass feet?

  16. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

    The editors of the Onion are pretty much out of a job. They may as well open a chain of Asian Fusion restaurants, they'd have a much better business model.

    1. Sudden   10 years ago

      They can call it Kung Fusion

      1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

        I went to one but they wouldn't serve me because someone told them one of the nicknames for Charles is Chuck, and they serve none-Chucks.

        *ducks and runs from room*

      2. R C Dean   10 years ago

        IF you haven't already, go to YouTube and watch Kung Fury.

        Frickin' awesome, especially if you watched every '80s action movie ever.

        1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

          Is it anything like Kung-Pow: Enter the Fist?

      3. Eggs Benedict Cumberbund   10 years ago

        heh, heh, heh....

      4. amelia   10 years ago

        I love your joke!

  17. HeteroPatriarch   10 years ago

    Looks like the chick from The Thomas Crown Affair remake.

  18. Bodica Slayer of Drones   10 years ago

    Admit it, boys. In a dark bar, with enough gin & tonics, you'd go for it. Even with the man hands, you'd go for it.

    1. Florida Man   10 years ago

      No doubt, no doubt in my mind.

    2. AlmightyJB   10 years ago

      I don't even see a face after 1am. Just tits. Might have to make more of an effort to look up going forward:)

      1. SimonJester   10 years ago

        No, dont learn to look up. Learn to NEVER look up. Keep the lights off. Put a bag over her head if necessary. If you are on the "just tits" bandwagon, why bother with ruining it in the morning? And, if necessary, arrange a fire alarm and hide in the basement to get her out before sunrise.

        Because really, if you are looking at "just tits" by only 1am, why bother to stop there? It is always after 1am.

    3. R C Dean   10 years ago

      The window of opportunity between (a) enough booze to say "sure, why not" and (b) passing out cold in a puddle of my own vomit would be measured in seconds.

    4. Sudden   10 years ago

      Clear alcohol is for rich women on diets.

      1. AlmightyJB   10 years ago

        Is that why Bruce switched? Wanted to drink Martinis?

  19. DK   10 years ago

    Paging Crusty Juggler ...

  20. sarcasmic   10 years ago

    Now there's a face for radio!

    1. Bodica Slayer of Drones   10 years ago

      Sure. Kaitlyn, the Baritone. Sounds like a winner.

  21. Hyperion   10 years ago

    This is just so much fluff.

  22. Ambush Bug   10 years ago

    So the veneration of science doesn't apply to chromosomes, I take it. Silly rabbit, gender is an identity now. SJWs never fail to be comedic.

    1. Agammamon   10 years ago

      Chromosomes determine *sex*.

      Gender has always been an identity.

      Like mass and weight on Earth they've been interchangeable, but they're not the same thing.

      1. Cis-Gendered Shitlord   10 years ago

        Ah, ok, so gender is the emotive, touchy-feely side and sex is the biological side. So you'd agree that he's biologically a man?

        If that's true, why do trans people get so fucking upset when you refer to them with their biologically-correct pronouns?

        1. Whole Card   10 years ago

          "Ah, ok, so gender is the emotive, touchy-feely side and sex is the biological side. So you'd agree that he's biologically a man?"

          Wrong, and no.

          1. Careless   10 years ago

            So you're just going to deny reality.

  23. Drake   10 years ago

    If Bruce Caitlyn and Rene Russo made a sex tape, would we be able to tell them apart?

    1. HeteroPatriarch   10 years ago

      Rene Russo! That's the one!

      http://reason.com/blog/2015/06.....nt_5336534

  24. Sean Higgins   10 years ago

    In related, but somehow completely overlooked, news, Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner killed a woman in a car crash back in February : http://www.latimes.com/local/l.....story.html

    1. Hyperion   10 years ago

      He... um, she is a protected class now, guess they'll have to drop that lawsuit.

      1. mad.casual   10 years ago

        I think, by law, we *have* to chalk it up to women drivers.

        1. Florida Man   10 years ago

          Oh snap!

        2. Brendan   10 years ago

          This

    2. wwhorton   10 years ago

      Yeah, he, she, whatever is responsible for the death of an innocent woman because he (at the time) was busy texting someone while towing a goddamn ATV and got off scot fuckin' free. Funny, because instead of talking about that, everyone's talking about the sex change operation. I wonder if there's a timing thing going on there...

      1. Whole Card   10 years ago

        Citation? Investigative records showed no cell phone activity at the time of the crash as I recall.

        1. Bodica Slayer of Drones   10 years ago

          Not under Caitlyn Jenner. Under Bruce Jenner. Not Caitlyn.

  25. AlgerHiss   10 years ago

    This makes me wish to go out and buy the best seller book:

    The Gayness of Traveling Down That lesbainian Biway of Trilateral, Hexa-gendered, Octa-specied Love!

    It ain't about gender or sex. It's all about social exhibitionism and non-conformity.

  26. This Machine   10 years ago

    I'd like to say something snarky and mean but Mx. Jenner could probably still beat the shit outta me in spite of the long years that have passed since his/her Olympic career.

  27. Hey Nikki!   10 years ago

    Not a single comment on how she is spelling Caitlyn with a C? It's a clear slap in the face to the K-krew.

    1. Hyperion   10 years ago

      It's pronounced 'Cat-ee-lyn'. Meow!

  28. Rich   10 years ago

    What?! Not "Jennifer Jenner"?

    1. Hyperion   10 years ago

      Jenny Jenner. What an adorable all American name.

      1. Rich   10 years ago

        "Jenny-roo!"

        1. WTF   10 years ago

          867-5309 Jenny

          1. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)   10 years ago

            And she can put the number on the wall, xerself(?).

      2. bacon-magic   10 years ago

        Gender Bendy Jenny Jenner...

    2. Ken Shultz   10 years ago

      I knew a guy, when I was a kid, whose name was Robert Robert Roberts X.

      His father was Robert Robert Roberts IX.

      His grandfather worked in the school cafeteria.

      His name was Robert Robert Robers XVIII.

      If I were him? I'd have named my son "Jimmy".

      1. Rich   10 years ago

        I'd name mine "Dread Pirate".

        1. Ken Shultz   10 years ago

          +1

      2. SimonJester   10 years ago

        Boy named Sue?

      3. SimonJester   10 years ago

        Boy named Sue?

    3. Dark Lord of the Cis   10 years ago

      She/he is a trans whatever, not a Stan Lee character.

      1. Rich   10 years ago

        LOL

      2. Chumby   10 years ago

        TransJenner

  29. Slammer   10 years ago

    When does she announce her candidacy for President?

    1. Hyperion   10 years ago

      As soon as him/her and Hillary get married, he'll be running for first lady and Hillary will be invincible. It's been the plan all along. Poor Huma, tossed under the bus for a white boy. I mean girl.

  30. AlmightyJB   10 years ago

    I know a Kaitlyn that is not going to be pleased

  31. Ken Shultz   10 years ago

    I don't think it's wrong to complain about not being able to unsee.

    Necessarily.

    If you don't think the government should discriminate.

    Some people don't like the sight of broccoli.

    I'm just sayin'.

    They're got a show going on ABC Family about a dad who's becoming a woman like that. Called "Becoming Us" or whatever.

    ABC Family used to be owned by Pat Robertson.

    1. AlmightyJB   10 years ago

      ABC Family jumped the shark a long time ago.

      1. Ken Shultz   10 years ago

        It's amazing how quickly and completely Disney's ideas about what constitutes wholesome family entertainment shifted.

        They built their brand on being a G rating for children, and I suppose they still are. It's just that a G rating ain't what it used to be.

        1. AlmightyJB   10 years ago

          Exactly

  32. AlmightyJB   10 years ago

    Come on Photoshop you can so better than that.

    1. SimonJester   10 years ago

      Those arms are scary. SCARY. They look like pythons half way through shedding skin.

  33. Free Society   10 years ago

    I think it's obligatory for the baby boomer generation to be terrified of a growing population. No amount of reason or evidence will dislodge them from this belief. You can point to limiting factors, like basic economics, that would naturally prevent overpopulation. You can point to species in the wild whose fertility rates seemingly without reason, go down in the presence of scarcity. You can point to the declining fertility of people who live in prosperous societies. None of it will dissuade them.

    1. Free Society   10 years ago

      God damn it. Too many tabs...

    2. R C Dean   10 years ago

      Totally relevant.

      No wonder the Boomers are getting on the trans-bus. It results in more people completely unable to breed.

    3. MoriahJovan   10 years ago

      I think it's obligatory for the baby boomer generation to be terrified of a growing old population.

      FIFY

  34. R C Dean   10 years ago

    And Drudge brings the win, again, captioning that cover "Miss America."

    Really, isn't castrated, confused, and obsessed with social signaling and cheap celebrity as good a description of America as any, these days?

    1. Sudden   10 years ago

      Nailed it, RC.

  35. Catatafish   10 years ago

    I must've missed something. Why is Jessica Lange on the cover of Vanity Fair?

  36. Loki   10 years ago

    Behold the field where I harvest my fucks to give, and see that it is barren.

    1. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)   10 years ago

      Your fucks? They were surgically removed.

  37. Paul.   10 years ago

    It's against my eyeballs!

    I can never unsee that!

  38. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

    Yep.

  39. Bodica Slayer of Drones   10 years ago

    Reminds me of a Joe Nichols song.

  40. Bodica Slayer of Drones   10 years ago

    So, it's official? Bye-bye, Dick, hello Catie?

  41. Bodica Slayer of Drones   10 years ago

    Listen, Ms. Jenner. I am not sharing a public restroom with you.

    You're still man enough to leave the toilet seat up.

    So, no. No way.

  42. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

    Don't. Give. A. Fuck.

  43. thom   10 years ago

    People who change names because of gender changes should have to pick names compatible with their age. "Caitlyn?" Is she trying to be a catty girl in her mid twenties with an entry level job in marketing and a penchant for slamming tequila shots on the weekends? Linda, Susan, or Mary I'd believe....

    1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

      Bernice.

      1. Rhywun   10 years ago

        *narrows gaze*

        That's my mom's name.

        1. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)   10 years ago

          Your Mom's name used to be Bruce?

      2. juris imprudent   10 years ago

        Brunhilda!

    2. Bodica Slayer of Drones   10 years ago

      How about one of those gender-neutral names like Madison? Or Dana? Or Kris? (damn, already taken)

    3. R C Dean   10 years ago

      a catty girl in her mid twenties with an entry level job in marketing and a penchant for slamming tequila shots on the weekends

      Yes, go on . . . .

      1. SimonJester   10 years ago

        You'll be in your bunk?

  44. Sevo   10 years ago

    Homple|6.1.15 @ 1:17PM|#
    "He could just as well decide he's Marie of Romania, for all I care."

    I'ma gonna go with this.
    Bruce can be Bernese and it wouldn't rock my boat. But why is Reason wasting bandwidth on the stuff of check-out counter' literature'?
    If it was Dierdre McCloskey, I could find some connection, but this is one of the Kardashian household, any one of whom would sell a vid of them taking a crap if it paid a buck or two.
    How about working on the PM links; maybe there's some news happening.

  45. OldMexican   10 years ago

    There are things best left unseen, for they're so horrible and so unsettling that they can make a drive a sane man into a madness like a painful nightmare from which no one ever wakes up.

    1. Tony   10 years ago

      I think it's a pretty great photo. Better than a lot of Leibovitz's recent work.

  46. josh   10 years ago

    i'm pretty sure kris jenner made him do all this for the ratings.

  47. Not a Libertarian   10 years ago

    Courteney Cox has not looked as hot in decade.

    Her "new" face must finally be settling in.

    1. R C Dean   10 years ago

      Photoshop, my friend. Heavily, heavily photoshopped. And, I'd bet real money, not just the face, either.

  48. Bodica Slayer of Drones   10 years ago

    I imagine the born-again fanatics are freaking out, desperately searching for a different channel to watch.

    "What do you mean, there is no more 19 Duggars! Michelle? Jim Bob? HELP US ALL! ARMAGEDDON!!!!"

  49. Warren   10 years ago

    I'd hit it.

    1. SimonJester   10 years ago

      I wonder how she'll react the first time some dude asks for anal.

  50. Bodica Slayer of Drones   10 years ago

    Suddenly, the origins of Ann Coulter make sense

  51. Arthur45   10 years ago

    Would probably be attractive to a nearsighted man, in dim light, from a distance.
    Waiting for Bruce's next big anouncement - which gender is he attracted to? (I mean real gender).
    But does that really mean anything, sexually speaking?

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