Marco Rubio

Alarmist Marco Rubio: 'Nothing Matters If We Aren't Safe.' Okay, I'm Alarmed.

Conversely: We are safe, so some things matter.



Florida Sen. Marco Rubio's campaign website prominently features this theme: "Nothing Matters If We Aren't Safe."

What matters? Nothing matters.

As video footage of Rubio further clarifies, "the economic stuff"—as he blithely calls it—won't matter at all unless we deal with threats to our national security. "The world has never been more dangerous than it is today," the website claims.

This statement is objectively incorrect; the world has never been safer, according to Harvard University's Steven Pinker. The Cato Institute's Christopher Preble explains:

In his magisterial study of the decline in violence worldwide, Harvard's Steven Pinker posits that "we may be living in the most peaceable era in our species' existence," even as he concedes that most people don't believe it.

New York Magazine's Jonathan Chait provides context:

To be sure, Rubio's claim that the world "has never been more dangerous than it is today" is not just wrong but insanely wrong. How about when a massive communist empire threatened us with nuclear annihilation? Or when Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan launched a war of extermination? Or when the Mongols amassed the largest land conquest in human history and left behind smoking ruins and pyramids of skulls?

Even if Rubio were right—and he's not—his approach would not make the U.S. a safer country. No one who refuses to admit that the Iraq War was a grave mistake should be trusted to handle these matters. But again: He's not right.

Still, we should take him at his (ridiculous) word. If elected, Rubio would prioritize his neoconservative foreign policy agenda over "the economic stuff"—trifling matters like runaway government spending, a broken healthcare system, unemployment, the debt, etc. Citizens should expect further encroachments on their civil liberties, because civil liberties don't matter. Nothing matters if we aren't safe, remember?

Sky-is-falling rhetoric about our uniquely dangerous world is alarmist by design, but in this case, it worked. I'm legitimately alarmed—not about national security, but about losing my constitutional rights under a Rubio administration.

NEXT: Alito Clashes With Scalia and Thomas Over Constitutionality of Maryland Double-Taxation Scheme

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  1. Yaaaaaawn. Rubio sucks, just like most of the candidates.


  2. My, the derp is STRONG with the elephants today

  3. Every time he speaks, he further reinforces my decision to never vote for him.

    1. You put it better than I could have. Some of my “libertarians are our friends” GOP acquaintances don’t understand why I dislike Rubio so much. I should forward them this article.

      1. As a libertarian Republican, I have to agree with you. This guy is a first class tool.

        Christ, guys, what is this, GOP Retard Monday?

        1. Isn’t that every Monday?

          1. Sometimes it really feels like every Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.

            Sadly, too often it’s deserved.

    2. At least you don’t have to deal with him as your Senator!

      Cripes. And people think the whole “Florida man” stereotype is embarrassing. No, what’s embarrassing is having assholes like that represent us.

      1. “BREAKING: Florida Man Elected to Senate, 45 Injured and 15 Dead”

        1. That was a good day.

      2. I’ll see your Rubio and raise you a Graham.

        1. Bob Graham: Also awful. Bill Nelson: Terrible. My representative, nepotism hire Mario Diaz Balart: also awful. My representative if I lived approximately 4 blocks away from where I live: DWS. Indescribably awful.

        2. I have Bennet and Gardner, both of whom are aggressively “meh.” Careerist parasites, but not exceptionally destructive, I guess.

  4. Things matter, therefore we’re safe.


    1. Recently you referenced Big Trouble in Little China, which encouraged me to re-watch it this weekend. You are a great man.

      1. Everybody relax, I’m here.

      2. It’s a trap, first it’s BTILC, next he’ll get you to watch Tango and Cash. Then before you know it you’ll be wasting your weekends viewing 3000 Miles to Graceland and Executive Decision.

        1. How do you make a movie that has Kurt Russell and Kevin Costner as shotgun-toting casino-robbing Elvises not be awesome?

          They found a way.

          1. The real question is “How do you make something with Costner not suck?”

            1. Dude, hating on Costner is fun and all, but he’s been in some really good movies.

              1. This is true. He was almost perfect in Bull Durham. And I liked him in The Big Chill.

                1. “William Blake.”

                  “William Blake?”

                2. I fucking HATE The Big Chill. I had to sit in the TV room and watch my parents and aunts and uncles all get all nostalgic for how great their generation was and shit. It was a very early lesson about the stupidity of generational collectivism.

                  Plus I was like 10 or so. Not the best or most interesting movie for a kid.

                  1. It had its moments, but I mostly agree. I liked some of the music. And there was dead, unused Kevin Costner.

              2. but he’s been in some really good movies

                I believe that Costner had a stroke in 1991. I submit his filmography as evidence.

                1. I would subscribe to this theory. Though–and I’m sure I will get lots of shit for this–I actually kind of like Waterworld. It’s too long, but it’s not bad. It’s certainly not bad at the level it is attributed.

                  1. I would subscribe to this theory. Though–and I’m sure I will get lots of shit for this–I actually kind of like Waterworld. It’s too long, but it’s not bad. It’s certainly not bad at the level it is attributed.

                    I also like water world, mostly due to Dennis Hopper.

                  2. But it’s not really good, either.

                    1. It could have been quite good. That’s the shame.

            2. Put Sean Connery and Robert Deniro in it?

              1. I’ll have to watch that again–haven’t seen it in years.

        2. Oh. I watched The Thing the next day. For the perfect trifecta I plan on viewing Captain Ron later this week.

          1. Not Escape from New York?

            Of course, if you’re really serious, you’ll watch his Disney movies first.

          2. “You cretin”

          3. Overboard, dude!

      3. What’s that?
        Black blood of the earth
        Oh. You mean oil?
        No, I mean black blood of the earth!

        That movie is copiously quotable. I adore it.

        1. You will come out no more!

          What? Huh? What’ll come out no more?

          1. That’s funny – how my quote dovetailed nicely with Tundrarian’s (we posted at the same time).

        2. “Is this gonna get ugly, now? Huh? I hope not. Because I thought what we were here, racial differences notwithstanding, was just a couple of old friends. You know, just both of us Californians.”

      4. “Oh, my god, no. Please! What is that? Don’t tell me!”

        1. Hey ProL, there’s something wrong with your face.

          1. “‘Jack’ what? I’m supposed to buy this shit? 2000 years, he can’t find one broad to fit the bill? Come on, Dave, you must be doing something seriously wrong!”

            1. Are you crazy… Is that your problem?

  6. Hillary current has a great strategy, which is “those morons will talk themselves out of winning while I will not say a word.”

    1. Seeiously. A retarded monkey could beat Hillary and yet the GOP finds candidates worse than retarded monkeys. Facepalm.


  8. What matters? Nothing matters.

    Say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, at least it’s an ethos.

    1. Shut the fuck up, Donny.

      1. Theory: “Shut the fuck up, Donny. You’re out of your element.” is our generation’s “Luke, I am your father.”

        A string of words that capture the sentiment of a scene, without having actually been said as quoted. Not that you quoted it that way, but I frequently hear it quoted that way when, in fact, “shut the fuck up, Donny” is never followed by “you’re out of your element”. I have confirmed this, because The Big Lebowski is now on Netflix.

        The difference would be that the Empire quote is probably misquoted so as to be shorter, while the Lebowski quote is misquoted because each part of the sentence wouldn’t necessarily be an obvious reference on its own, especially if “Donny” is replaced with someone else’s name.

      2. I am the Walrus

  9. “the economic stuff”?as he blithely calls it?won’t matter at all unless we deal with threats to our national security.

    -Marco Rubio

    “I’ve said many times that I believe the single, biggest threat to our national security is our debt, so I also believe we have every responsibility to help eliminate that threat,” he said. “We must, and will, do our part.”

    -Mike Mullen, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff

    So much for the “economic stuff” not mattering.

  10. as per my comment in the Lindsey “Even my name is faggy” Graham thread =

    National Security is the ‘lowest common denominator’ for republicans. Its something that no one can be on the wrong side of, and there is no cost for being *too* hawkish.

    Its like the ‘race/gender/inequality’ thing for Dems.

    They both have their “I FEELS YER PAIN” issues, but for the GOP, its “the terrorists want to blow you up and I’m a gonna stop them”

    #2 will be “mexicans”, but terrorists seems to be #1 for some of these guys.

    When it comes to the general election, it will be a pivot to the economy, but in the primaries, when its just a question of Who is the Most Republican of the Republicans? Military and Mexicans it is.

    Libertarians obviously tend to dislike both of the Team Red spins on these topics = it will be interesting to see if Rand can add his nuance to both without blowing himself up like pappy

  11. Even if we were in some horrible danger, what makes Rubio think the government can competently do something about it? Watching the government trying to “fight terror” is like watching a monkey trying to fuck a football.

    1. “What’s the one thing you absolutely have to do, to win a race?”

    2. Except a monkey trying to fuck a football isn’t going kill anyone.

      1. I dunno, a horny frustrated monkey might be kinda dangerous.

  12. Cue up a terrible Metallica song.

    1. I heard they made an album with Lou Reed. What’s he up to these days?

      (“Nothing Else Matters” is a good song though.)

      1. Metallica only made four albums that count, and that abomination was not one of them.

    2. This is a perfect song for the stripper with dead eyes slowly twirling on the pole.

      1. Rubio?

  13. To use a spurious Churchill quote, what are we fighting for?

    1. Churchill also uttered the immortal lines, “Herr Hitler, I came here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I’m all out of bubblegum.”

      1. When he said it it had more commas.

    2. Don’t as me, I don’t give a damn

  14. OT

    Henderson vs US opinion:…..7_l6gn.pdf

    Feds refused to return guns so felon could sell them.

    Held: A court-ordered transfer of a felon’s lawfully owned firearms from
    Government custody to a third party is not barred by ?922(g) if the
    court is satisfied that the recipient will not give the felon control over
    the firearms, so that he could either use them or direct their use.
    Federal courts have equitable authority to order law enforcement to
    return property
    obtained during the course of a criminal proceeding
    to its rightful owner.

    The Government’s reading of ?922(g) is thus overbroad.

    …vacated and remanded.

    KAGAN, J., delivered the opinion for a unanimous Court.

  15. Rubio and all the rest of the fucking Chicken Littles are just a bunch of pussies.

  16. Soave is wrong. The 2003 Iraq War was not a mistake; just the 1990 one. Sadaam had to go. Everything after getting rid of him was a terrible mistake however.

  17. “Nothing Matters If We Aren’t Safe.”

    Contingent nihilism? What kind of fucking idiot is this?

    1. That doesn’t matter because WE’RE NOT SAFE.

      1. Not with Rubio as President

  18. My best friend’s mother-in-law makes $85 /hour on the internet . She has been out of work for 5 months but last month her pay was $16453 just working on the internet for a few hours.
    Visit this website ?????

  19. I’m not sure what Rubio is thinking but what we must “keep safe” to keep us safe is the Constitution ? and it may be too late.

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