Conservatives Win Unexpected Victory in UK Election Shocker

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credit: Source / Public Domain Mark 1.0

Polls prior to yesterday's British election had suggested that the race would be very close, and that no party would come close to winning the outright majority of Parliament seats needed to form a government; some had even predicted the possibility of a constitutional crisis in the aftermath of an election with no clear winner. 

But the polls, it turns out, were wildly wrong, and the results couldn't be clearer. The Conservative party increased its standing in Parliament and emerged from the election with a slim but clear majority of 331 seats, according to the BBC, meaning that current Prime Minister David Cameron will stay the role. (The results of a few seats remain officially undeclared so it's possible the final tally could change slightly.) 

Ed Miliband, the party leader from the rival Labour party, will step down from his post, as will UKIP leader Nigel Farage and Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg, whose party lost 49 of its previous 57 seats. 

British Conservatives are broadly aligned with American conservatives in a lot of ways, including a focus on deficit reduction, tax cuts, tamping down on immigration, and limiting welfare payments (you can see the five point Conservative economic plan here) but it's always interesting to note some of the differences with their U.S. counterparts. 

The Conservatives, for example, lead their party's latest manifesto with the declaration that "We have a plan for every stage of your life" and a promise to continue increasing spending on the National Health Service. 

Conservatives.com

Granted, allowing public spending on health care to continue increasing and offering a plan for every stage of life is essentially what Republicans have done in practice over the last few decades, but they rarely promise this explicitly. 

NEXT: Scott Walker's New Flip-Flop: He Now Supports Auto Bailouts?

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  1. Good recap. Although I prefer this one: http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/u…..id-5657342

    The left over there are even worse than HuffTards and KosKids when it comes to stomping their feet after a debilitating loss. Unfortunately, their tears aren’t nearly as delicious due to their shitty diet and dubious healthcare.

    1. On the other hand, didn’t we fight two wars expressly so we could ignore the death tantrums of this flaccid empire?

      1. Two wars? I believe you’ve grossly underestimated our government’s depravity.

        1. Revolutionary War and The War of 1812. Everything else was a mistake.

          1. We got jack and shit from bailing them out of WWI. Fuck you, Woodrow Wilson.

            1. No we did get something for bailing them out… the Great Depression.

              1. And quite possibly the second war.

                1. I’ve always held the U.S. a distant 6th for blame regarding the second world war;

                  My list

                  1) Germany!
                  2) Japan!
                  3) Russia! (remember the invasion of poland was essentially a joint Russian/German land grab and partition in accordance with the Molotov Ribbentrop pact)
                  4) France (the treaty of Versailles made it difficult for a German republic to survive – not impossible but very, very difficult)
                  5) England (fuck the post armistice starvation blockade!)
                  .
                  .
                  .
                  .
                  .
                  .

                  6) United States – the U.S. pissed on the Japs in many different ways such that the Japs felt that the only option was to be a brutal imperial power and to become the pissers rather than the pisees; The U.S. meddling in WW-I also established the conditions where French could make their unreasonable demands of Germany.

                  After the treaty of versailles was signed, world war II was pretty much inevitable. And no American could reasonably predicted that by entering into WW-I the U.S. was setting the stage for a nasty century of conflict, nor could they predict the bitter harvest sown in part by the Roosevelt family’s virulent racism towards orientals – hence my placing them a very distant 6th.

                  1. Yeah, but the British have consistently shown the greatest skill & propensity to maneuver everybody else into the shit. If I don’t know much more, I automatically elevate them a few notches on the blame level for anything in world affairs.

                    1. So does Obama.

    2. A pity those tears would do terrible things to your teeth (make them British looking)

      I do love the butthurt writing, however…

      “No sooner had that exit poll landed than David Cameron and his Bullingdon mafia were salivating at the prospect of finishing off what they had started.

      You could almost hear the champagne-fuelled conga lines forming outside his house in Witney.”

      How come US lefties cannot at least write a snit this well?

      1. Somebody ought to do a historical analysis of the “foot-stomping rant of the loser”. Even money says it was invented on Limetree Island. And damn if they haven’t perfected it.

        1. I am glad you pointed me to that link – I have a bit of a smug, cheese eating grin right now.
          “That agenda is smashing the public sector and the unions, crushing those on welfare, ratcheting up the Bedroom Tax, penalising Labour-run councils even harder for having the audacity to need money to address large-scale social problems.

          Oh how their heroine and mentor Margaret Thatcher will have been spinning with joy in her grave.

          Those ?12billion welfare cuts they refused to detail could now be implemented at will with no bleeding heart liberals to interfere.

          In fact they could cut further and deeper. You want to scrape another ?5billion off the bones of the poor, Mr Duncan-Smith, here’s your scalpel.”

          1. The “bedroom tax” bullshit is one of those “not giving is taking” canards

            1. What is a bedroom tax??

              1. Never mind, googled it.

          2. It’s amazing to read those complaints from a US perspective. It seems like for the most part the Conservatives over there would fit nicely into the Democratic party. Yet to hear their opponents talk you would think that they were Francis Urqhart.

            The hate for Thatcher is nuts too. I guess we have a similar thing about Reagan. But a lot more people seem to have come around to seeing that he did do some things reasonably well, at least.
            How can you deny that the British unions of the 70s and 80s were an utter disaster?

            1. “How can you deny that the British unions of the 70s and 80s were an utter disaster?”

              Public schooling dominated by lefties, majority of young voters utterly oblivious about economics?

              I honestly think the lack of economic education in primary school is by design. I haven’t checked common core, but i’d bet that the best they offer is some vague attempt at ‘personal finance’ and completely abandon explaining how supply/demand curves work, or any macroeconomic basics about currency, trade, employment, etc..

            2. There are a few libertarians in the Tory party like Alan Duncan

          3. the Bedroom Tax

            That’s one of the stupidest thing I’ve heard about.

            Are they opposed to people having home offices? Are they opposed to people starting businesses in their spare room? Is the hotel industry that powerful that they can impose a tax on guest rooms?

            Do they know that 96% of people who pay the “Bedroom Tax” can’t find housing doesn’t impose the “Bedroom Tax” on them?

    3. It’s true. My UK liberal friend has been going nuts all morning, claiming that the conservatives were going to abolish the NHS. He’s always been a drama queen(microaggression?), but usually not this bad.

      1. The Tories just think the NHS on its current trajectory can’t pay for itself, really even right now, let alone in the future. This is in contrast to the UK Left with the usual “if the rich would only pay their fair share I could have any fairyland fantasy I want” routine.

        As the NHS is popular, the political reality is just quietly reforming it piecemeal. The main problem is that there’s not much of a private health infrastructure to push the demand out onto. If I may dangle two prepositions.

  2. but it’s always interesting to note some of the differences with their U.S. counterparts.

    The Conservatives, for example, lead their party’s latest manifesto with the declaration that “We have a plan for every stage of your life” and a promise to continue increasing spending on the National Health Service.

    In other words, there’s no substantive difference between the so-called “conservatives” in Britain and the establishment republicans here in the U.S. at all. Central planning socialism lite as opposed to full-on totalitarianism, and “managed decline” (a slower collapse as opposed to a full-on collapse and revolution). The only difference is that the GOP-e won’t declare it in a “manifesto”.

      1. “Practicing crash by slow descent.”

    1. Did you get tired of reading?

      Granted, allowing public spending on health care to continue increasing and offering a plan for every stage of life is essentially what Republicans have done in practice over the last few decades, but they rarely promise this explicitly.

      I wouldn’t blame you though. No alt-text will do that to an article. I expect better from Pistol Pete.

      1. I will support any party that makes mandatory alt-text part of their manifesto!

    2. It sounds to me like both major UK parties are socialists through and through. Whereas both major US parties lite-socialists through and through. All four groups are, of course, slowly moving more socialist.

      a slower collapse as opposed to a full-on collapse and revolution

      It isn’t a decline if you are in power. If you are in power the only way to decline is to lose power. So, you do what needs to be done to stay in power and that means placating people just enough to prevent rapid change. (For our purposes all major parties count as being “in power” regardless of the outcome of recent elections.)

    3. Hell, there is hardly any substantive difference between British Conservatives and most US Democrats.

      1. Yup, that’s it right here. On the issues, UK conservative party aligns most with the American Democratic party.

    4. No there’s one big difference: They have to deal w the voters in their respective polities. The NHS is very popular in the UK. The NCPA did bring out 20 yrs. ago that people in the UK underestimate the NHS’s cost?by an order of magnitude! But that may have been wishful thinking on Briton’s part, i.e. not that they support NHS because they think it costs a tenth of what it does, but because they say they think it costs so little because they want others (or even themselves) to believe that. If the latter is true, then even if today they have a more realistic assessment of its cost (as is likely), they don’t care. Maybe they each hope they’re going to win the health care lottery & get themselves taken care of 1st.

  3. “We have a plan for every stage of your life”

    We’ve taken care of everything
    The books you read the songs you sing
    The pictures that give pleasure to you eye…

  4. Ha, that manifesto. Cradle to grave government planning. The Life of Limey.

    1. The title alone is terrifying. What about my plan?

      1. DENIED – you did not file your 27b/6.

      2. Your plan is languishing in the master ‘in’ pile at the central bureaucracy.

  5. “But…but…we said ‘austerity’! Over and over! It’s a magic word! How could it not work?”

    1. ARGH! WE FORGOT TO CLICK OUR HEELS TOGETHER!!!11!

      /UK prog

  6. Apparently if the UK had proportional representation UKIP would have had at least 82 seats. They quadrupled their vote share from the previous election.

    So I suspect they’re eating away voters from both Labour and Tories. Wonder if that will make EU withdrawal an issue in the future.

    1. I think it’s an issue now. Doesn’t Cameron want a referendum on the EU?

      1. He doesn’t. He promised one in 2017, but he’s a weasely little shit, so I expect him to break the promise. Specifically, it’s supposed to be “yes/no” on Britain staying in ‘reformed’ EU – but no word what happens if, say, negotiations on reform are not done by the referendum deadline.
        He also promised not to stay for third term, so he can easily break promise, resign as PM and let the party handle the fallout.

  7. Lost 49 0f 57 seats, huh.

    AWESOME.

    1. “It’s just a flesh wound!”

  8. “We have a plan for every stage of your life”

    “We have no plan, however, on how to pay for it”

  9. Granted, allowing public spending on health care to continue increasing and offering a plan for every stage of life is essentially what Republicans have done in practice over the last few decades, but they rarely promise this explicitly.

    Republican voters can’t handle the truth.

  10. Most satisfying result of the night: George Galloway lost his seat, goes off on rant against “racists” and “Zionists”

    George Galloway delivered a typically eccentric speech after he suffered a stunning defeat at the hands of Labour’s Naz Shah.

    The Respect party MP, who lost his Bradford West seat with 8,557 votes to Shah’s 19,977 said he feared the “racists and Zionists” would be celebrating long into the night upon hearing the news.

    “I don’t begrudge the Labour members here their moment of celebration of course,” he said.

    “But there will be others who are already celebrating: the venal, the vile, the racists and the Zionists will all be celebrating. The hyena can bounce on the lion’s grave but it can never be a lion and in any case, I’m not in my grave. As a matter of fact I’m going off now to plan the next campaign.”

    He lost his seat to a Muslim woman.

    1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

      Thanks for that.

    2. Nitwit gets his oratory from The Lion King.

      1. I am rather reminded of Time Bandits:

        Cartwright: But why, if that’s the case, are you unable to escape from this fortress?
        [Evil blows him up]
        Evil: That’s a good question. Why have I let the Supreme Being keep me here in the Fortress of Ultimate Darkness?
        Robert: Because you…
        Evil: Shut up, I’m speaking rhetorically.

        1. That movie is the best.

    3. Those crafty Jews and racists, hiding their racism by voting for installing a Muslim MP.

    4. Beautiful.

      Get lost you prejudiced, progressive miserable fuck.

      1. Prejudiced, progressive, and miserable fuck are synonyms.

    5. Somebody linked to a Hitchens speech the other day (I hate you whoever you are, I ended up watching like 2 hours of Hitchens debates) and I watched him debate Galloway over the Iraq War.

      All comments were about how Hitchens was wrong and Galloway crushed him and what a great speaker and social warrior Galloway is.

      If you watch it, Galloway speaks like a Baptist preacher, and all of his arguments are appeals to emotion. The fact that he never refuted Hitchens accusing him of embezzling Oil for Food money and for knockin’ boots with some of the worst warlords in the region was very telling to me.

      Galloway is a fucking totalitarian piece of shit.

  11. “Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.”
    Bastiat

  12. We have a plan for every stage of your life

    Fuck. Off.

    1. Double fuck off. And to think Steve, they are so far gone, that doesn’t even strike them as creepy. These people are terrifying.

      1. …and these are the conservatives…holy ballsacks the UK is thoroughly fucked to the bone

    2. Orwellian slogans apparently sell in the UK.

      1. keep calm
        and
        do what we tell you

  13. I read in the Telegraph last week that Labor was promising to criminalize all forms of insult to Islam in order to buy off the Muslim vote, which they viewed as the block that would put them over the top. I guess maybe the rest of the UK decided that wasn’t such a good idea.

    1. It was Miliband’s strategy to veer left and piece together a multi-culti-coalition to replace the “white van” demographic in the North who have kept Labour in power for decades, but are switching to Tory and Ukip. Sounded good at the cocktail parties, but cost them everything in reality.

    2. It’s very telling who the racists/sexists/bigots are because they are the ones that want to keep dividing everyone up by their skin melanin, genitalia, ideology, instead of ya know doing what is best for everyone and what will be the most prosperous as a whole.

    3. When I read this, I wanted the Tories to win. I was happy last night 😉

  14. WOW!
    1. FREE healthcare
    2. FREE 30 hours of childcare
    3. FREE schools
    4. FREE 20% off on your first home

    oh boy golly gee, it must be great living in the UK, everything is free for everyone!

    /sarc

    1. I don’t understand why we don’t bote. For everything to be free. Why has nobody thought of this before? Stuff only costs money because we forgot to vote for it to be free.

      1. someone give this man a Nobel Peace Prize, he’s just solved world hunger and ended inequality

    2. If this is the Conservative manifesto, what was Labor giving away???

    3. It’s all going to come crashing down and when it does, I’m going to get drunk and watch all the progs make excuse after excuse. It will be everybody’s fault but their’s.

  15. I can’t help but see all this as more a critique of how asinine the media and politics industry are. There was one election poll – the one yesterday. But they’re flummoxed the conservatives won. “The polls . . . ” If these polls keep giving shocking you maybe it’s your premises and your polling weakness, not some collective insanity that takes over the electorate by some miasma of conservative hypnosis.
    We are alone.

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  17. For Scotland it’s out of the frying pan and into the loving totalitarian embrace of the SNP.

  18. There are now just as many Conservative and Labour MPs in Scotland as pandas; one each.

    Liberal Democrats are reduced to the fringe both politically and geographically. What few seats they retained are mostly on the far reaches; Oarkneys and Shetland (closer to Norway than to London), western coast of Wales, Norfolk on the coast of East Anglia, Westmorland near the Scottish border and possibly St. Ives, at the most southwestern tip of England.

    Stunning to see so many big names go down and how badly the polls and media did in their predictions.

    1. Notable = that people seem to take rolling political polls so seriously in the US, despite being over a year away from elections, and generally less accurate than UK due to larger pop, less-direct system.

  19. Judging by the Conservative Party platform, Labour lost, yet the left won.

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  21. I see the Reason editors messed up; they somehow printed the Labour party platform instead of the Tory’s.

  22. That plan sounds pretty good to me… Universal health care, cradle-to-grave social security, child care, government sponsored discounts for first time homebuyers. I guess that’s what you get when you have a political system that isn’t bought off by billionaires– a *conservative* party that doesn’t think government should serve billionaires. I say we try it out and see what happens.

    1. Poverty and universal despair…dumbfuck.

      So if everybody didn’t pay their mortgage like you, where do you think the money would come from?

      1. I dunno… Maybe BAC shareholders?

        1. The thing about stealing other people’s money is eventually they run out.

    2. hey and while we’re at it, why not just get rid of billionaires and rich corporations and just have everyone work for the government?

      oh wait, wealthy people and corporations are the ones who pay most of the taxes to fund these social programs?
      Damn! nevermind, sorry komrade

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  24. It’s good to see the Tory party reelected instead the Labour party, it’s a great shame though that the Tory party isn’t conservative.

    I’d liked to have seen the UKIP party replace the Tory party, but alas, common sense is in very short supply.

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  27. Americans also tend to reelect their president. Voters prefer stability, and that’s probably what happened in the UK.

    UK is almost mostly UK. The “left” there probably can’t gain the kind of edge the democrats here enjoy from identity politics from the sizable special interest / ethnic groups that are entrenched in the US. I imagine the concept of amnesty is not popular among Britons. Cameron was a immigration restrictionist and won big. Healthcare is a settled issue there, no one’s going to run on repealing the NSA.

    The British have accepted the large government way of life, so a right leaning party could win there by portraying themselves as “compassionate conservatives” who want to lower taxes and provide opportunities.

  28. Who cares? F–k England.

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