Wall Street Boost From Lousy Job Numbers, Jeb Bush is Apparently Not Hispanic, Rand Paul Previews Campaign Themes: P.M. Links

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  • The World Affairs Council

    At least Wall Street got a boost out of those lousy job figures. Stocks rose on the expectation that the Fed will keep interest rates low.

  • He may play a "Hispanic" on his old voter registration form, but Jeb Bush concedes he's not so much one in real life. Maybe he and Elizabeth Warren should get together some time.
  • A day before his official announcement of a presidential campaign, Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) previewed themes—and some differences with other Republicans—in a 30-second video.
  • Gary Hart (you remember him?) warns that American politics are turning dynastic. Hmmm. That sounds dangerously like lèse-majesté.
  • Kenya launched airstrikes against Islamist positions in response to a bloody terror attack at a university.
  • Traditionally minded Indian tribes are digging in against gay marriage. Progressives may have to send in the cavalry.
  • Saudi Arabia's government signed off on the tentative nuclear deal with Iran, emphasizing that it hoped the agreement would eventually rid the whole region of weapons of mass destruction. Well, that and a buck will get you…
  • That bogus University of Virginia rape story that Rolling Stone ran is getting the magazine sued by the frat smeared in the piece.

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NEXT: Rand Paul Teases (Likely) Presidential Campaign Announcement With Tweet

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  1. Gary Hart (you remember him?) warns that American politics are turning dynastic. Hmmm. That sounds dangerously like l?se-majest?.

    So… is one of his scions running for office?

    1. Hello.

      “That bogus University of Virginia rape story that Rolling Stone ran is getting the magazine sued by the frat smeared in the piece.”

      Milk it boys.

      1. Hold it’s leg

    2. It’s absurd that any American not named Bush or Clinton would vote for a person with either name, ever again.

      1. But it’s Time For a Woman! We can’t afford to fall behind Argentina on this. Look at the benefits women presidents got them!

        1. Well, there are many tens of millions of eligible female candidates. Almost all of which would be better than arrogant, venal, dishonest harpy woman.

    3. Spring Break!!!! Keep an eye on the trolls while I’m gone!

      1. Gonna have a margarita made in your mouth?

        1. Hmmm. I’m not sure if this is that kind of hotel. I’ll find out.

        2. In his colon.

    4. Hart: ‘Go ahead. Check my ballot. I wouldn’t vote for either one. I don’t care.You’ll just be bored’

      *looks at Gary’s ballot, notes that Clinton is marked*

      Hart: Dammit! Why won’t I learn?

  2. Reason squirrels are back.

    1. Back? They staged a coup.

      1. Yeah, I think they shut down the entire site for about an hour.

  3. Gary Hart (you remember him?) warns that American politics are turning dynastic. Hmmm. That sounds dangerously like l?se-majest?.

    So… is one of his scions running for king?

    1. I remember the chick that brought Gary Hart down, the one from the Caribbean sailing trip, was pretty hot when she went naked in Playboy.

      Damn, remember when an issue of Playboy actually was something you wanted to see? What a difference the internet made of that.

      1. I’m on the net only for the articles.

      2. Needs moar depravity!

      3. Donna Rice. She never did Playboy but some lame topless photos appeared right after the incident. She went on to marry some rich guy, found God and then went on a crusade against internet pornography. Wonder if she succeeded…

        1. I wouldn’t know.

        2. “Wonder if she succeeded…”

          No.

  4. Blame the right-wing for Rolling Stone being incompetent, cynical liars:

    http://twitchy.com/2015/04/06/…..ou-fuming/

    1. I see Elizabeth Bruenig is following the lesson of Jesus from that parable where he smashed that adultress’ head open with a rock.

      1. Thank you so much whoever posted this earlier.

        “The right, on the other hand, tends to understand politics on the individual level, which fits in neatly with a general obsession with the capital-i Individual. Thus, the right tends to pore over the specific details of high-profile cases like those of Trayvon Martin and Michael Brown, concluding that if those particular situations were embattled by complications or mitigating factors, then the phenomena they’re meant to represent must not be real either. And if a few highly publicized rapes turn out to be murkier than first represented, then rape itself is not a crisis, just a regrettable and rare anomaly. The positive version of this approach is the elevation of people like Joe the Plumber, individual cases that purportedly show the value and effectiveness of conservative politics. It isn’t great reasoning, but it is very appealing on a sub-intellectual level.”

        SO MUCH PROJECTION

        1. “it is very appealing on a sub-intellectual level.””

          meaning = it convinces more people than the erudite horseshit you dress up your hackneyed socialist propaganda with.

          oh noes, they’re using Facts!

          1. ESB has a very high opinion of herself which is based primarily on her incredible skill at sophistry. She can enwrap boring, simplistic platitudes in such a mass of overwrought prose that idiots wrongly think she’s said something impressive.

            1. “She can enwrap boring, simplistic platitudes in such a mass of overwrought prose “

              Works in academia. In journalism, you sound like a fucking idiot when you do that.

              I think even lefties will understand that what she’s saying is,

              We need to avoid *specifics* to make our lies less vulnerable

              ..and ultimately find it revolting, regardless of their desire to perpetuate some ‘rape narrative’ bullshit

              1. I think even lefties will understand that what she’s saying is,

                “We need to avoid *specifics* to make our lies less vulnerable”

                ..and ultimately find it revolting, regardless of their desire to perpetuate some ‘rape narrative’ bullshit

                I don’t.

                1. Well, i think *some* will find the explanation revolting, even if it doens’t change their support for the underlying Campaign of Lies at all.

                  i say this because of all the effort they put into constant self-congratulation for being martyrs for “Truth and Science and Reason”. Half of Salon is really so much self-fluffing their egos….

                  ….ESB makes the mistake here of exposing them to the underlying reality = that their respect for Truth is bullshit, and the collectivizing Political Agenda is everything.

                  1. i say this because of all the effort they put into constant self-congratulation for being martyrs for “Truth and Science and Reason”.

                    Dude, you know they do that because they don’t give a shit about any of those three things, right?

                    The Left invented the noble lie. Look at the reaction to the revelation that “Jackie’s” story was a complete fabrication. They actually attacked the people who exposed the truth because, something something discourage victims coming forward something something tells greater truths.

              2. As Orwell said, some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals will believe them. ESB is a prime example here. “When a classic set of left-wing tactics fail spectacularly, it’s because those tactics are actually right-wing.”

          2. Gilmore, her horseshit is not erudite.

            1. maybe you think of ‘erudite’ as a compliment.

              I think its just an adjective describing people who feel compelled to reference their extensive readings and advanced level of education in every possible context, regardless of whether its even relevant. Even when the over-wrought argument they make could probably be better distilled into a few simple sentences.

              i.e. I don’t personally think adding “LOOK AT ME I”M SMART!!!” into an argument makes the argument any better. She does it compulsively = its the habit of people who’ve spent a lot of time in academia and prefer the most tortured and complex ways of saying simple things.

              1. Quite the opposite. It makes your argument weaker since you’re obviously so afraid of people understanding it quickly you need to hide it with extra letters and obscurity.

        2. Only individuals can be happy or suffer. What other metric makes sense in a human world?

          1. The happiness of the people as a corporate person.

        3. It isn’t great reasoning, but it is very appealing on a sub-intellectual level.

          I particularly liked this, given that her politics come directly from the brainstem.

        4. She is right about this: throwing out one single data point doesn’t mean all the other data points are wrong. What ESB ignores is the problems surrounding all the other data points.

          1. Or the fact that the search for any data point revealed only one absurdly farcical story that anyone with a functioning brain would laugh at if Jackie triedtelling them about it.

          2. Awesome sauce.

        5. Seems like she could have saved herself the trouble and went with:

          “Right-wingers lie. Rolling Stone lied. Therefore…”

        6. Popehat laid into her on Twitter today. I actually felt bad for her for a second–she’s in way over her head.

          Sally Kohn published a piece of breathtaking stupidity today, too.

          1. You all leave esb alone! She is angelic!

            1. ESB is like if Ayn Rand came up with a villain and then threw it in the wastebasket for being too unrealistic.

              1. Ayn’s objectivist heart was too cold to ever conjure up the angelic delight that is ESB.

                You monster!

                1. Ayn’s objectivist heart was too cold to ever conjure up the angelic delight that is ESB.

                  You monster!

                  You know, even Satan appears as an angel of light…

            2. She needs to raise money to get that dead tooth extracted.

              1. Wasn’t Obamacare supposed to help with that?

          2. Sally Kohn published a piece of breathtaking stupidity today, too..

            And will tomorrow….and the day after…….

        7. Gun to your head, you have to spend an hour talking with ESB, Marcotte, or Jessica Valenti. Which one?

          1. I refuse to answer in hopes you’ll just shoot me.

          2. ESB hands down.

          3. How about you just give me the gun and don’t ask any questions?

            Problem(s) solved!

          4. FMK?

            Fuck Valenti
            Marry ESB
            Kill Marcotte

        8. The right, on the other hand, tends to understand politics on the individual level, which fits in neatly with a general obsession with the capital-i Individual.

          How does this even remotely square with the methodically tailored tact of progressivism playing out these days? Any “obsession” on the right with “capital-i” individuality (whatever that means) is the result of being only marginally better than the left on upholding negative rights over championing positive rights. Progressives may be generally more statist in their predefined solutions to every problem, typically involving subsidies for protected classes and censures for everyone else, but if anyone might be described as being obsessively individualist, at least in terms of blatant ME ME ME selfishness, it’s the left by a long shot. They manage simultaneously to be unabashed statists in their demands and insidiously individualist in their appeals. “Everyone has a right to their meticulously curated sense of self-identity, and we’re going to crush as racist/sexist/transphobic anyone who defies this new convention.” No, guys, that’s real civic-consciousness in action. Ask not what you can do for your country but how we can amend the Bill of Rights to make you slightly more comfortable with your various pathologies.

        9. If rape is so ubiquitous on campus, why could Rolling Stone not find a story that was true? Of course, as part of their criteria,they were trying to find one that the UVA administration was supposedly ignoring, because the piece was advocating more federal interference in how schools handle such matters.

      2. What is she 12? Or just mentally 12? Getting political analysis from cocooned brainwashed recent grads like her is like getting travel advice from the boy in the plastic bubble. Of course she is wrong. What else would you expect? She’s been taught not to think.

        1. She said she was unpopular.

          I suspect a lot of people recognized that she was a horrible person and avoided her.

        2. Moops.

        3. You can’t be taught not to think. You have to give up on your own accord, and then be taught how to thank your masters.

        4. She looks 12, thinks like she’s 12, and a lot of guys here are into that.

          1. I’d hit. But only if the death tooth never shows.

          2. Hey, even *I* have my standards.

        5. She’s kinda cute in a Catholic schoolgirl way, but I gear-ron-teee she has a whole closet full of sub-Vogon level poetry that she will read to you the second you get within earshot.

          That’s no disincentive for some here, obviously.

    2. Elizabeth S. Bruenig @ebruenig ? Apr 4
      Today: one year as a Catholic. Thanks for being there @bjaspray, @snigatkins, @PeteValletta, and @ragnarmb in spirit!

      Oh, she’s a convert. She makes so much more sense now.

      1. I first read your comment as “Oh, she’s a convent.”

        Like the Convent San Tanco. Nun better.

      2. No it doesn’t!!!!!!!

        I can see how someone who grew up Christian and never paid any attention and just went through the motions could end up having incredibly fucked up and wrong ideas about their religion.

        I have far less charity for an adult who adopts a religion but gets pretty much all its teachings wrong.

        1. I have little respect for an adult who would decide to base their life around fairy tales, and absolutely none for an adult who decides that fairy tales are a good basis on which to enslave the whole of humanity. All I’m saying is that she makes more sense now. She has a convert’s fanaticism.

          1. Let’s see…

            Christopher Hitchens converted to atheism at age 14, and his analysis of religion never rose above the adolescent level.

            C. S. Lewis became an atheist as a teenager, but when he became a man he put away childish things and returned to Christianity.

            But, sure, Lewis, Aquinas, Suarez, Bellarmine, More, Francis de Sales, etc. – all of them gibbering idiots compared to Penn Gillette and Sam Harris!

            1. You’re right. Sam Harris the neuroscientist knows way less about the world than St. Thomas Aquinas, a man who died before the invention of eye glasses.

              1. In Harris’ case, I suppose my objection is that he worked overtime to *conceal* his supposedly vast intelligence.

            2. I’ve read some interesting things at ‘First Things’ over the years.

            3. You don’t have any idea what you’re talking about. If you had read even half of those people you just named, you’d be a far better thinker than you display yourself to be every time you post here. Get studying, Max. You do your cult a disservice by being part of it.

              1. Oh, Warty, don’t get your tentacles in a twist.

                I read Hitchens, Dennett, and Dawkins – I learned things from those Three Stooges I never even suspected about Christianity – because it isn’t true.

                I learned that Stalin wasn’t really an atheist, because he was a fanatic, and only religious people are fanatics.

                And of course, I learned that there are cargo cults, therefore Christianity, Judaism and Islam are wrong, because none of those religions ever warned against worshipping idols.

                1. I was referring more to the religious writers. But holy shit, if that’s what you took away from the atheists, you’re dumber than I thought you were.

                  1. I was referring more to the religious writers. But holy shit, if that’s what you took away from the atheists, you’re dumber than I thought you were.

                    The Stalin thing comes from Christopher Hitchens dumbest argument when Hitchens argued Stalinism itself was a religion because they worshiped Stalin.

                    It was an obviously mendacious attempt by Hitchens to claim every atrocity on Earth is the fault of religion, which just isn’t true.

                    So Eddie took probably the stupidest thing Christopher Hitchens ever said and is pretending that’s the primary point of the book, when it’s actually just a small segment.

                    Also, St. Thomas Aquinas had some pretty fucking stupid arguments as well:

                    1. Objects have properties to greater or lesser extents.

                    2. If an object has a property to a lesser extent, then there exists some other object that has the property to the maximum possible degree.

                    3. So there is an entity that has all properties to the maximum possible degree.

                    4. Hence God exists.

                    There seems to be a bit of a logical leap between steps two and three that Aquinas never really got around to explaining.

                    1. Well, try to write a multi-volume work, without the aid of eye-glasses,* and see how few mistakes *you* make!

                      *And without the aid of a laptop, and without being able to check your assertions against Wikipedia.

                    2. I still think Aquinas is worth reading.

                      http://www.academia.edu/223227…..conscience

                      ‘Summa Theologica’ was a monumental piece of Western literature from a history perspective regardless where you stand ideologically.

                      I don’t know. I had to discuss his attempt at merging reason and faith in University and found his undertaking interesting.

        2. “I can see how someone who grew up Christian and never paid any attention and just went through the motions could end up having incredibly fucked up and wrong ideas about their religion.”

          I don’t, unless it’s some weird Christian cult, which Catholicism is not. Academic leftism, on the other hand, is a cult. Her approach to religion makes perfect sense if you realize that her politics are the top priority for her.

          1. She’s a liberation theology kind of Catholic. It seems like a stretch to even consider them Roman Catholics at all.

            1. In that case, “convert” seems also like a stretch.

              1. Well she converted to something, and it’s real dumb, whatever it is.

                1. Give her a break. Americans can’t convert from imperial measurements to metric.

                  How do you expect her to be able to convert from whatever she was to Catholicism? That is harder to do than Fahrenheit to Celsius.

                  1. This comes up on my FB feed now and again from friends who enjoyed a few terms in the hard sciences and feel like it gives them license to shit on the refusal and/or inability of Americans to convert. Every time I point out that Americans in the STEM fields have by necessity adopted metric standards, and there’s really no reason to pressure those who aren’t to do so. But naturally, I’m wrong, because Europe.

                    1. What pisses me off most about this is that it mostly comes from Canada and Britain and Australia and those fuckers still use miles pounds feet ounces yards and pints for all sorts of shit.

                      Seriously ask a Brit how tall he his and he will not use centimetres to tell you how tall he is. Ditto for ordering beer at the pub in litres.

      3. She can’t be much of a convert since she attended Cambridge specifically to study religion.

        Maybe she converted from another branch of Christianity to Catholicism, but it’s not like she was once an unbeliever.

        It actually makes me very sad that I know ESB’s educational history. She also attended Brandeis, a fact which I know off the top of my head.

        I…I actually think there might be something wrong with me.

        1. Oh, maybe?

          1. That sounded a lot bitchier than I thought.

            1. He deserves it.

              We love ya, Irish, but this is like a Coeus & Amanda Marcotte level obsession. Save yourself before it’s too late.

              1. Leave me alone. We all have to have our hobbies. Mine is making fun of ESB.

                It’s no less noble than picking up bowling.

                1. At least yoh accomplish something when you bowl.

                2. We all have our crushes…

                3. Now I feel bad.

                  I bring you boobies of appeasement. Iconic Moments in Bikini History: Phoebe Cates

                  1. Another iconic moment in bikini history: whipped cream bikini from everyone’s favorite teen film.

                    1. You Bastard!

        2. Hey, I called for an intervention for you last week and you claimed you didn’t have a problem!

          I guess I should be glad you are finally coming around to the truth about this ESB obsession you have.

    3. Oh, ESB, you’re just impossible to satirize. Who could invent words more ridiculous that the ones you willingly lay claim to?

      In balancing a systematic critique on a single person’s story, Erdely essentially used a rightwing strategy to make a leftist point. The trouble is only that the right is skilled at this game, and correctly deduced that undoing Jackie’s story would go a long way to endangering Erdely’s larger structural point. It’s an opportunity they never should have been given, both for Jackie’s sake, and for the sake of the victims who really do find themselves struggling for protection within a hostile justice system.

      Everyone got that? Jackie wasn’t found out because she’s a liar who made up her whole story, it’s because those right-wing meanies decided they had to destroy her, so that they could destroy Erdely, so that they could, um, make sure women continue to get raped, I guess? In ESB’s world, it’s really just a totally unrelated coincidence that the accusations that Jackie was lying turned out to be completely true.

      1. It’s an opportunity they never should have been given, both for Jackie’s sake

        People are still treating Jackie as some victim. They’re even still calling her a “survivor.”

        Just let it go, folks. She’s a crazy, manipulative person. She was not gang-raped, there’s no indication she was ever raped or sexually assaulted in her life.

        1. She’s not a victim.

          She’s a victimizer. She’s victimized the guy she had a crush on. She’s victimized her friends. She’s victimized the people trying to help rape victims. She’s victimized the fraternity members. She’s victimized the students and faculty at UVA. She’s victimized the cops. She’s victimized Rolling Stones writers.

          The fact that Rolling Stones magazine, the rape counselors and the school admin chose to go along with her plot doesn’t change the fact that she was seeking to mislead them.

          I am not sure whether she should be scourged by having her name publicized. Too many people who level false allegations maintain them because they fear the punishment that will occur if they walk them back. On the other hand, immolating her reputation because she hasn’t chosen to be honest promptly enough might be just the thing.

          1. Everyone who heard her crazy stories and lent them credence instead of encouraging her to get professional help is also to blame.

            1. This too.

              I should say though, having been in that very situation vis a vis a false allegation my ex-wife leveled against an innocent third party, I can understand people’s confusion and difficulty in making the logical leap to conclude the incident is being made up whole cloth.

              In my case, it took a cop sitting me down and explaining the holes in her story to open my eyes. Even though I had caught my ex wife making false allegations against me and other people in her circle in the past, I had never considered that she might make such serious allegations against a person she hardly knew.

              And as I write the above, I am well aware of how insane that statement is.

              1. I understand what you are saying, but I believe she was attending group therapy sessions on campus as part of some sort of…I do not want to say rape survivors, but a group like that. And she would tell her stories, which is how the Rolling Stone writer heard about her. How many people heard the things that girl was saying and either took advantage of it to further their own interests, or allowed her to just keep saying whatever she wanted because hey, something bad mightcould have happened to her?

                If it was so bad help her get professional help.

      2. correctly deduced that undoing Jackie’s story would go a long way to endangering Erdely’s larger structural point.

        Generally, to make a structural point, you must supply data. Sometimes, in informal settings, you can substitute anecdotal data where you haven’t done the scientific research but still want to be persuasive. Either way, your structural point hinges on the validity of your underlying data. Making shit up calls your structural point into question unless you have stronger unfabricated data.

      3. Anyone else looking for footnotes to the bald (naked, heehee) assertions here? “Essentially,” “The right is skilled at…” Or, any grammar nerds: “The trouble is only that…”

        Who is claiming this?

    4. I read part of the article, then my eyes glazed over. Why does that store need any explanation other than a woman lied to a reported, who didn’t bother to check the facts?

      1. Because then you can’t hold the vast right-wing conspiracy accountable for the sins of your friends on the left.

  5. Wall Street seems to be the only sector doing well these days. Its almost like there’s a bubble.

    1. “Wall Street seems to be the only sector doing well these days. Its almost like there’s a bubble.”

      Apparently you haven’t heard about the nation’s capital.

  6. Traditionally minded Indian tribes are digging in against gay marriage. Progressives may have to send in the cavalry.

    We all saw this coming. If you break up the world into too many aggrieved groups, sooner or later some of them will turn on each other. Pass the popcorn.

    1. Yes, but the Proggies have the advantage because they offer more ‘free stuff’ than the other party. And everyone’s forgotten how truly racist the Dems are.

      1. I grew up near a big indian reservation and it is amazing how racist indians can be. They hate everyone not of their same tribe.

        Color me shocked to find out that they are also against gay marriage.

        It was interesting to me that once I moved away from the rez and into a big city where no one really knew any indians how revered they were to proggies. Shit they could do no wrong according to them.

        This antigay shit is going to fuck up their perception. It will be amusing to see how they square that circle.

        “They don’t hate gay people. No, what they hate is that gay marriages waste too much cake. You see their traditional way of life requires them to use every part of the cake”

        1. I keep waiting for socially conservative blacks and Hispanics (which is most of them) to reject the Dem’s over-the-top gay legislation. But some people don’t have a problem with sacrificing their beliefs and integrity in exchange for Freebies paid for by their enemy.

          1. That and a lot of them aren’t paying attention.

  7. UN Climate Chief: ‘We Should Make Every Effort’ To Depopulate Planet

    http://www.infowars.com/video-…..he-planet/

    1. I’ll start a list. He’s first.

    2. Whoops! It’s a bit late now to try to put that mask back on.

    3. It’s funny how whenever I end up in debates with some of my prog friends about “environmentalism” and I finally am able to get them to admit that they think “the world has far too many people,” they never want to continue the conversation when I ask them if they have an altar picked out on which they’ll be slitting their own child’s throat.

      1. All the unwashed masses get depopulated. Those with connections or are the elites get to continue on.

      2. Showers and ovens. How else?

        1. So it really is the 1930s again?

          1. + millions Tried-and-true.

          2. Well, at least one German sent an entire manifest of passengers to their deaths recently.

        2. No, no, no. They’ll follow the more environmental Pol Pot methods. turn people into fertilizer for Mother Earth.

          1. But didn’t those depopulated by Pol Pot also have lead poisoning? Something something heavy metals something something fish.

            1. What are you, pregnant? Enjoy the cheap sashimi.

          2. Genocide is so 20th century.

      3. I read some dystopian book years ago. Don’t recall the name but everyone periodically and voluntarily took a pill and random ones would kill you. That’s basically how the book started. There were a lot of those overpopulation books like that 70’s early 80’s.

    4. It’s amazing how not too far off progressive thinking lies…death.

      1. I’d like to agree with you but once you delve into the origins of progressive thinking it becomes clear that they are a death cult of the first order and firmly believe that it is entirely acceptable for certain segments and subsets of the population be neutralized or outright eliminated in order for the State to advance to its proper place as the pinnacle of human achievement.

        1. Like how they embraced eugenics.

          1. Yup.

    5. As P. J. O’Rouke said, worrying about overpopulation is just the trendy way to be racist.

      1. If they were truly concerned with “disappearing resources”, the best thing to do would to be to exterminate those using the most resources for the least return: Western city dwellers.

        Doesn’t seem like a plan that would sell, though

    6. Shit, that has been their goal all along. At least she admits it openly.

  8. Jeb Bush looks like an evil CIA Director from a movie. Even more than his dad who actually was one.

  9. He may play a “Hispanic” on his old voter registration form, but Jeb Bush concedes he’s not so much one in real life. Maybe he and Elizabeth Warren should get together some time.

    He is so done. That is going to kill him with Republican voters. What a dickhead.

    1. Given how socialist many Hispanic countries are, that’s a good thing.

  10. “He may play a “Hispanic” on his old voter registration form, but Jeb Bush concedes he’s not so much one in real life.”

    Hold on a second.

    If Bradley Manning can get the world to treat him like a woman just because he says so, why can’t I be an Inuit Indian if i suspect i have some Eskimo roots?

    also = SQUIRRELS. everywhere

    1. Clinton was the first black president, yet I didn’t see anyone asking him for voter registration cards.

  11. Maybe he and Elizabeth Warren should get together some time.

    And have a baby together. Babies with fake indian blood and fake hispanic blood are the cutest!

  12. Spot the Not: Robert Byrd

    1. The drive for same-sex marriage is, in effect, an effort to make a sneak attack on society by encoding this aberrant behavior in legal form before society itself has decided it should be legal.

    2. I have no objection to President Nixon going to China. I just object to his coming back.

    3. The Klan is needed today as never before, and I am anxious to see its rebirth here in West Virginia.

    4. I shall never fight in the armed forces with a Negro by my side.

    5. Men and races of men differ in appearance, ways, physical power, mental capacity, creativity, and vision.

    6. We are confident that Saddam Hussein retains some stockpiles of chemical and biological weapons, and that he has embarked on a crash course to build up his chemical and biological warfare capabilities.

    1. ^ a former long time senator from WV

      1. he was a republican, right? naturally.

    2. “Spot the Not: Robert Byrd”

      none of those quotes sound like something that a woman doing a public-access porn show would say.

      1. Is that a dude?

        1. Would that make it hotter?

          1. Perhaps for Epi.

    3. 2 seems too witty for him.

    4. 2. Only because if they really examined themselves they’d realize they were an awful lot alike.

    5. “I have no objection to President Nixon going to China. I just object to his coming back.”

      This is actually awesome.

      I guess 6 because I don’t think Byrd was still mentally capable of using words like ’embarked’ by 2003.

      1. #6. He also voted against the Iraq War.

    6. 2

    7. 5 sounds a bit too much like it came from a manifesto or a pamphlet at a campus klan meeting.

    8. I’ve heard 2 before, and I’d be surprised if it was from Byrd. I’m going with that.

    9. As many guessed, #2 is the Not. Congresscritter John G Schmitz said it.

      One more Byrd quote for the road:

      “Rather I should die a thousand times, and see Old Glory trampled in the dirt never to rise again, than to see this beloved land of ours become degraded by race mongrels, a throwback to the blackest specimen from the wilds.”

  13. So is the Rolling Stone story the 21st Century American version of the Dryfus affair?

    1. It’s amazing how the human propensity for prejudice produces such similar behaviors repeating down the centuries!

    2. No because no Joos?

      1. White straight southern men are to today’s America what Jews were to 19th Century France; the hated other.

        1. Neil Young agrees.

  14. Even if a U.S. Supreme Court ruling this spring makes same-sex marriage the law, it would leave pockets of the country where it isn’t likely to be recognized any time soon: the reservations of a handful of sovereign Native American tribes, including the nation’s two largest.

    NEWS FROM THE FUTURE: Perhaps the most unexpected result of the Supreme Court’s ruling requiring all states to recognize same sex marriages was the resumption of the Indian Wars two years later as various tribes discovered themselves being overrun by evangelical christians seeking to settle on their reservations.

    1. Foreseeable consequences are not unintended?

    2. And libertarians are to blame.

  15. I’ve gone down the Twitter rabbit hole. Someone interpret this for me.

    Sally Kohn ?@sallykohn 29m29 minutes ago
    .@charlescwcooke no, i’m saying that democratically passed laws that ban discrimination are NOT equivalent to government force

    1. That is like saying carpet bombing for what you feel is a just cause is not equivalent to waging war. Jesus these people are stupid.

      1. Not if you actually bomb them with *carpets*

    2. Something something cocaine.

    3. But…but…I thought “government is what we decide to do together” was the mantra!

      1. So long as everyone decides to do what I want, or else.

    4. You should read her initial article where she says government force does not exist because there’s no one in the car with a gun telling you not to speed, you just have to deal with the consequences if you get caught.

      It’s one of the most convoluted leaps of logic I’ve seen in a long time.

      1. It’s amazing to me how she can be so oblivious to what happens once you “get caught.” I don’t pay my ticket because I want to. I pay it because I don’t want to get thrown in jail. And I’d only agree to go to jail because the guy offering the accommodations can shoot me if I politely decline.

      2. That article was breathtaking. Somebody please link to it.

        1. Try this: ccwc.me/1Dd4WpC

          1. MEH. This?

            http://talkingpointsmemo.com/c…..o-anything

      3. I’m going to require a chemical shower to get the derp from my eyes after reading that in its entirety.

    5. My Twitterese is a little rusty. I think Sally just admitted that she doesn’t understand what words mean.

    6. They believe that might makes right when they have the majority. When they are the minority, they believe their superior principles trump what is popular.

      Many have told me that all choices are voluntary. Thus, compliance with taxes and laws is a free choice.

      It’s really amazing the lengths they will go to to pretend that the government never uses force on people.

    7. I remain convinced that Twitter is the most powerful Enstupiding Device ever designed.

      1. It has surpassed the E! network?

        1. Both E! and the Oxygen network, other cable channels, made noble efforts.

          I think nothing has even approached the nuclear-grade stupid of Twitter since the explosion of Daytime Talk Shows in the 1990s.

    8. From her Washington Post article:

      “Sally Kohn is an essayist and a CNN political commentator.”

      Truly a marginal figure!

  16. So Tina Fey puts in a character in some netflix show she is doing that makes fun of some Hollywood dermatologist for the crime of looking an acting funny. The guy wasn’t any kind of celebrity and didn’t ask to be the limelight other than by having some celebrity patients. Apparently the portrayal was so nasty the guy has now killed himself over it.

    http://www.hollywoodreporter.c…..und-786482

    It is one thing to go after a politician or actor who makes their living by being famous. It is another to go after an average person and to go after the way the look and talk, which is nothing but vicious ridicule masquerading as humor. Fey really is a first class awful person.

    1. Yes obviously the guy who hosted a national “Ask Dr. Brandt” radio show and who referred to himself as “The King of Collagen” was trying to avoid the limelight.

      And seriously, if Bo commits suicide tomorrow, does that suddenly make you responsible because you mocked him?

      1. If Hit and Run were a syndicated sitcom I would. I didn’t know he hosted a national radio show. Regardless, Fey is still a nasty bitch. Worst of all, she is not very creative. The best she could do was to make fun of how someone looks. That is pretty pathetic.

      2. You really think that might work?

    2. Yes, I saw this and had no idea Martin Short was portraying a real person. Funny that the ‘creative’ Hollywood types are perceived as so nice and generous and concerned about (some) disadvantaged people, when in reality they can be truly nasty and cruel–and then dismiss their bullying as “just a joke.” Doubt anyone connected with that show will lose sleep over it.

      1. No. It is almost uncanny how celebrities’ actual characters are nearly always the exact opposite of their public personaes. Fey’s public image is that of the super cute nice girl next door. In realty, she seems to be the opposite, a nasty vindictive bitch.

        1. Yes, I’ve often heard that actors you regularly play villains are virtually all really nice in person. Doesn’t surprise me the inverse is also true. Look how long Rosie O’Donnell fooled everyone.

      2. They’ll soon be joining the ‘Stop Bullying’ campaign.

    3. Apparently the portrayal was so nasty the guy has now killed himself over it.

      According to whom? The article includes:

      “It is mean, and it was bullying. But the show was not the reason for his depression, and it was not the reason he would take his own life,” said [his publicist]

      1. Yeah, I’m dubious, to put it mildly.

      2. Seriously depressed guy kills self, John concludes it’s Tina Fey’s fault because libruls.

        1. His friends said he was devastated over the portrayal.

          And shouldn’t you be out suing a bakery or something? I have it on good authority that a doughnut shop owner in Peoria was recorded as saying he wouldn’t sell a mixed dozen to a gay wedding party. You should get right on that.

          1. Oh, for fuck’s sake, John. Let it go, dude.

        2. C’mon, Irish. Tina Fey made fun of Sara Palin. That is heresy to John.

          1. Don’t let him watch Iron Sky.

    4. So Tina Fey puts in a character in some netflix show she is doing that makes fun of some Hollywood dermatologist for the crime of looking an acting funny. The guy wasn’t any kind of celebrity and didn’t ask to be the limelight other than by having some celebrity patients. Apparently the portrayal was so nasty the guy has now killed himself over it.

      Bluntly, the guy wasn’t some fellow who wanted to stay out of the limelight, but welcomed it.

      HE also clearly had some very serious body image issues related to getting old. It was a fight that one day he was bound to lose. I don’t blame Tina for his suicide. He chose to do that.

    5. I thought that character was pretty funny. I don’t see how his suicide is anybody’s fault but his own.

      1. True, but that doesn’t make going after the guy any nicer.

        1. Why should I care about this any more than the portrayal of Matt Damon in Team America or other endless number of people who are poked fun at on TV and in movies?

          1. I agree with this. People who write comedy tend to be inspired by real life. Maybe Tina Fey isn’t nice, but nice people tend to not go into comedy.

            1. For example, I think Louis CK is really funny. But I also think he’s an asshole. Often those things seem to be correlated.

              1. The guy who came up with the Jizanthapuss routine is an asshole? No way!

            2. I had no idea it was based on a real person till reading that link. It sucks that he died I guess but its almost funnier looking at the picture of the real person. He has fucked up his face pretty bad.

              1. Personally, I think someone who goes into plastic surgery is probably a bit messed up to begin with.

              2. Pretty much every comedic character you’ve ever seen has been based on somebody real.

    6. The guy killed himself. He was depressed. He was not depressed over that.

      “It is mean, and it was bullying. But the show was not the reason for his depression, and it was not the reason he would take his own life,”

      FFS, John.

      1. We will never know for sure why he did it. it still cuts against Fey’s nice girl image and I think makes her look pretty nasty.

  17. Praise for my work:

    SweatingGin|8.21.13 @ 8:31PM|#

    That’s worse than SugarFree’s musings.

    Wasteland Wanderer|3.13.15 @ 5:52PM|#

    You are an evil person. I hope you know that.

    Warty|3.9.15 @ 2:00PM|#

    You are truly a monster.

    Scruffy Nerfherder|4.22.14 @ 9:01PM|#

    You’re hurting my brain with this shit.

    Free Society|3.12.15 @ 10:29AM|#

    I watched the video. I hate you Derpetologist.

    WTF|3.12.15 @ 10:36AM|#

    You really are a Sadist, you know that, don’t you?

    Suthenboy|3.11.15 @ 5:44PM|#

    Why in the name of God would you show us that? What the hell did we do to you?

    GILMORE|1.10.14 @ 11:12PM|#

    Oh god, that’s painful

    Aloysious|8.6.14 @ 7:37PM|#

    dear god.

    Sudden|4.29.14 @ 11:22PM|#

    Y’know Derptologist, I made a conscious decision not to have children so that I wouldn’t get pissed off by shit that’s 11 years old.

    Thanks for fucking that up for me.

    1. Things Printed Out For Derp’s Mom’s Fridge, for the Daily Double, Alex.

    2. Mind letting us unaware in on what this is about?

      1. Just tooting my horn. I thought it would be funny to make a list of various reactions to my posts.

        1. Yeh but what are they reacting to?

          1. Several are reactions to this video:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmO-ziHU_D8

            Sudden’s reaction is to this one:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwFaSpca_3Q

            Caution: both are extra derpy

            1. The first I’ve seen and may have even linked to it here. But you’re evil for subjecting our sensitive community to it.

              The second I’ve not seen and hate you for it.

              Bubble Friedman.

            2. Jesus. I just watched that first one.

              There are simply no words… either to describe that or within that as far as I can tell.

              1. What, you don’t get ‘ah, ah, nigga, ah, ah, ah, nigga, ah, you whitey?’

                It’s Hegelian.

                Look it up.

            3. Everyone gets a trophy!

  18. http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/s…..6-12-58-45

    Obama seeks a forever friend in Iran. Sorry Barrack, I just don’t think they are that into you.

    1. But Valerie promised him it’d work.

  19. Other praise for my work:

    PapayaSF|4.29.14 @ 9:10PM|#

    You are truly the Duke of Derp.

    sarcasmic|11.8.14 @ 6:36PM|#

    That was awesome. I’m stealing that.

    BigT|7.2.14 @ 10:37PM|#

    GMSM, Derp is obsessed. Just walk away. You don’t want to go where he can lead you.

    BuSab Agent|3.8.14 @ 2:21AM|#

    Okay, Derp you owe me a keyboard.

    Jordan|3.27.14 @ 10:29PM|#

    This comment needs more love because that shit is hilarious.

    jesse.in.mb|3.27.14 @ 10:08PM|#

    Hail Derpetologist, our libertarian messiah!

    Notorious G.K.C.|11.9.14 @ 9:07PM|#

    Derpy, this could well be one of your most frightening finds yet.

    DesigNate|5.13.14 @ 2:29PM|#

    You are a good man Derpetologist, I could never steel myself to study the Derp as you have.

    Irish|1.29.15 @ 9:38PM|#

    You’re a master, Derpetologist. I take back what I said about you.

    Hyperion|11.9.14 @ 9:43PM|#

    I have to day, that link that Derptologist posted above with Yuri Bezmenov, that is one of the best things I have ever seen here or anywhere.

    Bobarian|8.10.14 @ 6:02PM|#

    That, right there, is the derpiest thing you’ve ever brought on to HampersandR.

    1. Try all you want Derpster but you’ll never be worse than Nicole

      1. Nicole for the Worst, but me for the Derp.

    2. Can you please provide this link a second time?

      1. There’s a 2 link limit per post. Which one do you want to see again?

        Man, I love being the Red Dragon of Derp.

        “This it Thomas Friedman mixing metaphors for 3 minutes straight. DO YOU SEE!?”

        1. I was going to ask for the link on Yuri Bezmenov. Hyperion seemed really in awe at that one.

          1. Here’s the short one:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLqHv0xgOlc

            I highly recommend the longer Bezmenov videos “Deception Was My Job” and “Psychological Warfare”.

  20. http://www.mediaite.com/online…..al-school/

    Indian actress’ brother pretended to be black to get into med school. Good for him.

    1. And he learned something med school can’t teach him; he learned what it’s like to be black!

      1. That is right. Maybe everyone should pretend to be black and go to med school.

        1. James Earl Jones is saddened by your lack of familiarity with 80s film.

          1. You mean, like Conan the Barbarian? Or The Blues Brothers (which I just rewatched for the first time in quite a few years this weekend)?

            1. No, I mean like Soul Man, the one I was referencing.

              1. I know, I was just being difficult. Though I must say that I didn’t care much for that film.

                1. Of course you didn’t, it was a terrible movie. Which makes it even funnier that a large number of 30 somethings thought of it immediately when they saw this story.

                  1. Now Conan disguised himself as an acolyte of the snake religion. Actually, that didn’t work out so well.

            2. “We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline.”

          2. I got the reference. I just didn’t make a very good one back.

        2. Strangely enough, I know many who pretended to be Indian. (The other kind)

    2. I liked that movie better the first time it came out in the 80’s. That version had Jerry Curl.

      1. C. Thomas Howell was the man.

    3. Hey, I’ve been arguing all morning on that site with the idiots who continue to support ‘Affirmative Action’ and bemoan ‘White Privilege.’ I’m Bad Spock.

    4. Why can’t someone claim whatever identity they want? Why is it okay with gender or sexual orientation but not with race or ethnicity? Heck, you can even do it with religion.

      1. If I can claim to be a woman because I feel that way, I don’t see why I can’t claim to be black or an ancient Roman or anything else.

        1. It certainly would seem to follow, if these idiots were, in fact, using logic. I’m going to start claiming space alien status.

          1. Where’s your green card? An illegal alien, eh?

            1. What, that’s a thing now?

              1. *tazes Pro Liberate and sends him to the ICE camp*

                1. What, humans don’t have personal force shields?

          2. I am claiming to be a member of the lost city of Atlantis.

            1. Be careful with that. You may be deemed to be a Greek citizen.

            2. I like to think the people of Atlantis sunk their continent on purpose so they could bail on their debts.

              1. This is not the case. They sunk Atlantis on purpose to avoid taxes.

              2. Why do you think that to this day, they’re still called underwater mortgages?

                1. I approve of this quip.

                  [polite applause]

            3. Sucker!

              Now you have to root for the Braves, Falcons and Hawks.

              OK, the Hawks seem to be fun this year, but the rest of them are always a disappointment*.

              * Don’t try to tell me that the Braves were a good team to follow in the 90’s. They were loaded and only won one Series. And they lost to the Twins on one of the most bone headed base running blunders ever.

              1. Don’t forget the rooting for the Atlanta hockey team(s)?

        2. If you’re an Otherkin, doesn’t that mean you can be anything you want to be?

          1. Does a catkin meow?

      2. BTW – my above comment was based partly in a fact…

        …when i took my SAT’s I filled in the bubble saying i was “American Indian – Inuit”.

        I got a tsunami of mail from every college in America offering me a free ride. I was the smartest Eskimo the world had ever seen. Boy was my dad pissed. I had to write a letter to everyone apologizing for the error, and request that the college board correct it.

        I still sometimes think of myself as being a little “Eskimo”. It was partly to do with the movie Heathers

        1. Bullshit! I bet you were going to go through with the whole charade until one of those college administrators asked to you prove your ancestry.

          You totally chickened out when he trotted out the 300 lb gal and said if you were really an Inuit, you’d have no problem eating Blubber.

          1. Paging Barfman…

          2. ” I bet you were going to go through with the whole charade”

            I had the sealskins and harpoon ready and everything.

          3. Hey, the last thing some college admin who just landed a coveted Victim Group Member is going to do is ask for proof.

            Elizabeth Warren’s entire career is proof of that.

      3. “Why is it okay with gender or sexual orientation but not with race or ethnicity?”
        Claiming a different gender identity is brave but claiming to be a different race is crazy. And that is because stuff.

        1. See C. Thomas Howell.

    5. …Chokal-Ingam, who graduated from the University of Chicago with a meager 3.1 GPA…

      A ‘B’ average is “meager”?

      1. Yeah, that’s pretty shitty for anyone who wants to get a graduate degree, and certainly for med school. I think I finished undergrad with something similarly crappy.

      2. Yes. At many schools, 3.0 is basically “free” for showing up to all your classes. Ivys in particular are notorious grade-inflators. You could rarely show up at some classes and still get a 2.5.-2.7. 3.3-3.5 means you put in effort.

        Above that, you’re kind of an asshole.

        that said, Chicago was always described to me as being more like Hopkins, Rice, other schools where they actually *expect you to work*. i got rejected from there myself. It was one of my top choices.

        1. Yes at Rice a 3.1 was pretty good (and I did hear that Chicago was similar), but it certainly wouldn’t be stellar for a Med School application. That said it depended on your major, which is why the school also reports average gpa by major.

    6. OK, people, I see the guy who played Kumar in Harold and Kumar in the starring role.

      I see Chris Rock as the mentor teaching the Indian guy how to be black.

      “No, no, don’t say, ‘thank you for calling Spewit Backward computers, how may I help you,’ say ‘yo, what have you done to your computer *this* time, you dumb honky?

      “And instead of saying ‘Thank you, come again,’ say ‘Hey, try and buy something next time, m_____f_____!’

      “And now there’s one particular word you have to get used to using…so repeat it 100 times until you’re comfortable with it…”

      1. And tasteless jokes…time to dust off all the tasteless jokes you never dared to use in bars, and didn’t even dare to write on the bathroom walls.

      2. Chris Tucker (greater than symbol) Chris Rock

        1. Chris Rock is funnier, but Chris Tucker is more amusing, if that makes sense.

          1. To me, Rock can be funnier or more insightful in what he’s saying but Tucker can have a more entertaining delivery.

            1. If you use Tucker, you can work in a funny scene at the karaoke bar where he teaches the indian guy how to sing and dance like a black guy.

              1. I don’t care who you are, Tucker was epic in The Fifth Element.

                1. Everything was is epic in The Fifth Element.

  21. Too many SQRLs. However,
    Snowdon statue in Brooklyn

  22. MO Republican killed himself after being falsely accused of being Jewish. His spokesman also killed himself.

    http://forward.com/articles/21…..suicide-a/

    1. Like the guy above, he had other mental issues I’m sure.

    2. Maybe the story is true, maybe it isn’t. A lot of the allegations seem to originate from the guy before he died.

      By all means follow up and get to the bottom of the story, but the guy he accused denies it, and the accused has some rights.

      Let’s not to Rolling Stone on everyone.

      1. not *go*

  23. “Big Gov and Big Finance: A Partnership For A Darker, More Cronyist, Future?”

  24. Stooopid Rays. That’s what I get for going to the opener.

  25. Try to guess what city you’re looking at based purely on a map of where its Starbucks are located:

    The Slate Starbucks Map Quiz, Volume 2

    1. I got 7 out of 14. Better than I thought I’d do.

    2. It’s going to be Seattle, isn’t it?

    3. 5/14? I recognized the coasts of a lot of cities?

  26. “At least Wall Street got a boost out of those lousy job figures. Stocks rose on the expectation that the Fed will keep interest rates low.”

    “Recovery Summer” is like sooo last year!
    But turd and commie-kid will tell of of Obo’s wonderfulness!

    1. I think I read the economy is like 8% better now?

      1. Man, that’s gonna follow him forever! And he deserves to have it rammed down his throat every time.

      2. It’s the Gov’t Lies Royal Rumble!

        When gov’t agencies are publicly calling each other’s bullshit as bullshit, the bullshit is definitely getting deep.

        The best part: “Seasonally adjusted data for metropolitan areas will be unavailable until further notice”. Fuck fixing it, we’re just going to disappear it. Problem solved, let’s watch some Shemale Tube!

  27. He may play a “Hispanic” on his old voter registration form, but Jeb Bush concedes he’s not so much one in real life. Maybe he and Elizabeth Warren should get together some time.

    We live in a society that subsidizes all that is “not white”. So expect more of this.

    1. Isn’t this a form of rent seeking?

    1. “Don’t ever feel the need to be assertive, especially when you feel that you’re right.”

      Great lesson to teach the crybabies.

    2. Scott Adams had an interesting take on that study http://blog.dilbert.com/post/1…..applied-to Basically, that women are penalized for aggressive negotiating because of the uncanny valley concept, but that they can still become better negotiators by pointing to objective market information instead of trying to appeal to fairness (which can seem manipulative).

      1. Women can bring a different and equally effective set of tools to negotiation. The notion that women have to be manly to be good negotiators is just crap.

        Negotation, in my experience, is mostly a matter of stubbornness anyway. And women don’t give up anything to men on that count.

    3. Honestly, who demeans women more than these feminists? Their basic (and maybe only) premise is no matter what a woman may try, she’ll fail, because the power of penis.

    4. “[…]It’s hard to argue with any move that might make the hiring process and salary decisions as democratic and equitable as possible. […]”

      No, it’s not.

      1. Yeah, if you want to go out of business, let your staff vote on what their pay and benefits should be.

        1. Ah, but true to proggie anti-meritocratic nature, what is actually happening here is management is instituting a “like it or lump it” policy, because no negotiating is allowed. What every they offer is all you’re going to get, and what odds they decide to “make up for centuries of gender pay discrimination” by offering more to the more “diverse” candidates?

    5. Isn’t this the same woman who thought she should sue people who failed to promote her?

      she’s like the anti-michelle-rhee. she wants to strip meritocracy out of the private sector rather then try and inject it into the public sector.

  28. “He may play a “Hispanic” on his old voter registration form, but Jeb Bush concedes he’s not so much one in real life”

    Did he think “Hispanic” is a venereal disease?

    1. His answer should have been more along the lines of

      “I ticked that box by mistake, but really, I’m more Hispanic than Elizabeth Warren is Cherokee.”

      Too bad it would be electoral suicide, or he could add on “Beside, if gender identity is just a matter of personal preference, why can’t ethnic identity be the same?”

    2. Something you catch by sleeping with the staff?

      You know, it’s possible that’s exactly what he thought.

  29. Speaking of Iran, Obama just can’t giving shit away to get this deal:

    Requiring Iran to recognize Israel in a comprehensive agreement over its nuclear program is misguided policy, US President Barack Obama said on Monday.

    http://www.jpost.com/Middle-Ea…..ent-396370

    Apparently, nobody ever told him not to negotiate against himself. If I was a mullah, I’d just sit back, lob out the occasional pessimistic/confrontational press release, and wait for this lightweight to give up even more, in exchange for nothing.

    1. Ellen Pao understands: negotiating is icky boy stuff, so let’s just give away the store.

      Sing along with Barry:

      BOHICA! is better if we all do it together.
      So touch your toes
      And hold your nose
      Because that’s just the way the story goes!
      BOHICA!

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