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Wall Street Boost From Lousy Job Numbers, Jeb Bush is Apparently Not Hispanic, Rand Paul Previews Campaign Themes: P.M. Links

J.D. Tuccille | 4.6.2015 4:30 PM

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  • The World Affairs Council

    At least Wall Street got a boost out of those lousy job figures. Stocks rose on the expectation that the Fed will keep interest rates low.

  • He may play a "Hispanic" on his old voter registration form, but Jeb Bush concedes he's not so much one in real life. Maybe he and Elizabeth Warren should get together some time.
  • A day before his official announcement of a presidential campaign, Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) previewed themes—and some differences with other Republicans—in a 30-second video.
  • Gary Hart (you remember him?) warns that American politics are turning dynastic. Hmmm. That sounds dangerously like lèse-majesté.
  • Kenya launched airstrikes against Islamist positions in response to a bloody terror attack at a university.
  • Traditionally minded Indian tribes are digging in against gay marriage. Progressives may have to send in the cavalry.
  • Saudi Arabia's government signed off on the tentative nuclear deal with Iran, emphasizing that it hoped the agreement would eventually rid the whole region of weapons of mass destruction. Well, that and a buck will get you…
  • That bogus University of Virginia rape story that Rolling Stone ran is getting the magazine sued by the frat smeared in the piece.

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The Rattler is a weekly newsletter from J.D. Tuccille. If you care about government overreach and tangible threats to everyday liberty, this is for you.

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NEXT: Rand Paul Teases (Likely) Presidential Campaign Announcement With Tweet

J.D. Tuccille is a contributing editor at Reason.

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  1. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)   10 years ago

    Gary Hart (you remember him?) warns that American politics are turning dynastic. Hmmm. That sounds dangerously like l?se-majest?.

    So... is one of his scions running for office?

    1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

      Hello.

      "That bogus University of Virginia rape story that Rolling Stone ran is getting the magazine sued by the frat smeared in the piece."

      Milk it boys.

      1. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)   10 years ago

        Hold it's leg

    2. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

      It's absurd that any American not named Bush or Clinton would vote for a person with either name, ever again.

      1. PapayaSF   10 years ago

        But it's Time For a Woman! We can't afford to fall behind Argentina on this. Look at the benefits women presidents got them!

        1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

          Well, there are many tens of millions of eligible female candidates. Almost all of which would be better than arrogant, venal, dishonest harpy woman.

    3. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

      Spring Break!!!! Keep an eye on the trolls while I'm gone!

      1. MJGreen   10 years ago

        Gonna have a margarita made in your mouth?

        1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

          Hmmm. I'm not sure if this is that kind of hotel. I'll find out.

          1. MJGreen   10 years ago

            In case there's any confusion.

        2. Hamster of Doom   10 years ago

          In his colon.

    4. Cdr Lytton   10 years ago

      Hart: 'Go ahead. Check my ballot. I wouldn't vote for either one. I don't care.You'll just be bored'

      *looks at Gary's ballot, notes that Clinton is marked*

      Hart: Dammit! Why won't I learn?

  2. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

    Reason squirrels are back.

    1. Hamster of Doom   10 years ago

      Back? They staged a coup.

      1. Hyperion   10 years ago

        Yeah, I think they shut down the entire site for about an hour.

  3. Bobarian (sexbot hand model)   10 years ago

    Gary Hart (you remember him?) warns that American politics are turning dynastic. Hmmm. That sounds dangerously like l?se-majest?.

    So... is one of his scions running for king?

    1. C. Anacreon   10 years ago

      I remember the chick that brought Gary Hart down, the one from the Caribbean sailing trip, was pretty hot when she went naked in Playboy.

      Damn, remember when an issue of Playboy actually was something you wanted to see? What a difference the internet made of that.

      1. Mongo   10 years ago

        I'm on the net only for the articles.

      2. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

        Needs moar depravity!

      3. Antilles   10 years ago

        Donna Rice. She never did Playboy but some lame topless photos appeared right after the incident. She went on to marry some rich guy, found God and then went on a crusade against internet pornography. Wonder if she succeeded...

        1. MJGreen   10 years ago

          I wouldn't know.

        2. Sevo   10 years ago

          "Wonder if she succeeded..."

          No.

        3. Puddin' Stick   10 years ago

          She's still there?

  4. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

    Blame the right-wing for Rolling Stone being incompetent, cynical liars:

    http://twitchy.com/2015/04/06/.....ou-fuming/

    1. tarran   10 years ago

      I see Elizabeth Bruenig is following the lesson of Jesus from that parable where he smashed that adultress' head open with a rock.

      1. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

        Thank you so much whoever posted this earlier.

        "The right, on the other hand, tends to understand politics on the individual level, which fits in neatly with a general obsession with the capital-i Individual. Thus, the right tends to pore over the specific details of high-profile cases like those of Trayvon Martin and Michael Brown, concluding that if those particular situations were embattled by complications or mitigating factors, then the phenomena they're meant to represent must not be real either. And if a few highly publicized rapes turn out to be murkier than first represented, then rape itself is not a crisis, just a regrettable and rare anomaly. The positive version of this approach is the elevation of people like Joe the Plumber, individual cases that purportedly show the value and effectiveness of conservative politics. It isn't great reasoning, but it is very appealing on a sub-intellectual level."

        SO MUCH PROJECTION

        1. GILMORE   10 years ago

          "it is very appealing on a sub-intellectual level.""

          meaning = it convinces more people than the erudite horseshit you dress up your hackneyed socialist propaganda with.

          oh noes, they're using Facts!

          1. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

            ESB has a very high opinion of herself which is based primarily on her incredible skill at sophistry. She can enwrap boring, simplistic platitudes in such a mass of overwrought prose that idiots wrongly think she's said something impressive.

            1. GILMORE   10 years ago

              "She can enwrap boring, simplistic platitudes in such a mass of overwrought prose "

              Works in academia. In journalism, you sound like a fucking idiot when you do that.

              I think even lefties will understand that what she's saying is,

              "We need to avoid *specifics* to make our lies less vulnerable"

              ..and ultimately find it revolting, regardless of their desire to perpetuate some 'rape narrative' bullshit

              1. Redmanfms   10 years ago

                I think even lefties will understand that what she's saying is,

                "We need to avoid *specifics* to make our lies less vulnerable"

                ..and ultimately find it revolting, regardless of their desire to perpetuate some 'rape narrative' bullshit

                I don't.

                1. GILMORE   10 years ago

                  Well, i think *some* will find the explanation revolting, even if it doens't change their support for the underlying Campaign of Lies at all.

                  i say this because of all the effort they put into constant self-congratulation for being martyrs for "Truth and Science and Reason". Half of Salon is really so much self-fluffing their egos....

                  ....ESB makes the mistake here of exposing them to the underlying reality = that their respect for Truth is bullshit, and the collectivizing Political Agenda is everything.

                  1. Redmanfms   10 years ago

                    i say this because of all the effort they put into constant self-congratulation for being martyrs for "Truth and Science and Reason".

                    Dude, you know they do that because they don't give a shit about any of those three things, right?

                    The Left invented the noble lie. Look at the reaction to the revelation that "Jackie's" story was a complete fabrication. They actually attacked the people who exposed the truth because, something something discourage victims coming forward something something tells greater truths.

              2. PapayaSF   10 years ago

                As Orwell said, some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals will believe them. ESB is a prime example here. "When a classic set of left-wing tactics fail spectacularly, it's because those tactics are actually right-wing."

          2. Libertymike   10 years ago

            Gilmore, her horseshit is not erudite.

            1. GILMORE   10 years ago

              maybe you think of 'erudite' as a compliment.

              I think its just an adjective describing people who feel compelled to reference their extensive readings and advanced level of education in every possible context, regardless of whether its even relevant. Even when the over-wrought argument they make could probably be better distilled into a few simple sentences.

              i.e. I don't personally think adding "LOOK AT ME I"M SMART!!!" into an argument makes the argument any better. She does it compulsively = its the habit of people who've spent a lot of time in academia and prefer the most tortured and complex ways of saying simple things.

              1. NotAnotherSkippy   10 years ago

                Quite the opposite. It makes your argument weaker since you're obviously so afraid of people understanding it quickly you need to hide it with extra letters and obscurity.

        2. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

          Only individuals can be happy or suffer. What other metric makes sense in a human world?

          1. Puddin' Stick   10 years ago

            The happiness of the people as a corporate person.

        3. Warty   10 years ago

          It isn't great reasoning, but it is very appealing on a sub-intellectual level.

          I particularly liked this, given that her politics come directly from the brainstem.

        4. LynchPin1477   10 years ago

          She is right about this: throwing out one single data point doesn't mean all the other data points are wrong. What ESB ignores is the problems surrounding all the other data points.

          1. Sudden   10 years ago

            Or the fact that the search for any data point revealed only one absurdly farcical story that anyone with a functioning brain would laugh at if Jackie triedtelling them about it.

          2. Libertymike   10 years ago

            Awesome sauce.

        5. MJGreen   10 years ago

          Seems like she could have saved herself the trouble and went with:

          "Right-wingers lie. Rolling Stone lied. Therefore..."

        6. The Laconic Esq   10 years ago

          Popehat laid into her on Twitter today. I actually felt bad for her for a second--she's in way over her head.

          Sally Kohn published a piece of breathtaking stupidity today, too.

          1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

            You all leave esb alone! She is angelic!

            1. The Laconic Esq   10 years ago

              ESB is like if Ayn Rand came up with a villain and then threw it in the wastebasket for being too unrealistic.

              1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

                Ayn's objectivist heart was too cold to ever conjure up the angelic delight that is ESB.

                You monster!

                1. Beautiful Bean Footage   10 years ago

                  Ayn's objectivist heart was too cold to ever conjure up the angelic delight that is ESB.

                  You monster!

                  You know, even Satan appears as an angel of light...

            2. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

              She needs to raise money to get that dead tooth extracted.

              1. Puddin' Stick   10 years ago

                Wasn't Obamacare supposed to help with that?

          2. fish   10 years ago

            Sally Kohn published a piece of breathtaking stupidity today, too..

            And will tomorrow....and the day after.......

        7. Andrew S.   10 years ago

          Gun to your head, you have to spend an hour talking with ESB, Marcotte, or Jessica Valenti. Which one?

          1. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

            I refuse to answer in hopes you'll just shoot me.

          2. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

            ESB hands down.

          3. bodenlosen Schweinerei   10 years ago

            How about you just give me the gun and don't ask any questions?

            Problem(s) solved!

          4. Lord at War   10 years ago

            FMK?

            Fuck Valenti
            Marry ESB
            Kill Marcotte

        8. Dweebston   10 years ago

          The right, on the other hand, tends to understand politics on the individual level, which fits in neatly with a general obsession with the capital-i Individual.

          How does this even remotely square with the methodically tailored tact of progressivism playing out these days? Any "obsession" on the right with "capital-i" individuality (whatever that means) is the result of being only marginally better than the left on upholding negative rights over championing positive rights. Progressives may be generally more statist in their predefined solutions to every problem, typically involving subsidies for protected classes and censures for everyone else, but if anyone might be described as being obsessively individualist, at least in terms of blatant ME ME ME selfishness, it's the left by a long shot. They manage simultaneously to be unabashed statists in their demands and insidiously individualist in their appeals. "Everyone has a right to their meticulously curated sense of self-identity, and we're going to crush as racist/sexist/transphobic anyone who defies this new convention." No, guys, that's real civic-consciousness in action. Ask not what you can do for your country but how we can amend the Bill of Rights to make you slightly more comfortable with your various pathologies.

        9. Mickey Rat   10 years ago

          If rape is so ubiquitous on campus, why could Rolling Stone not find a story that was true? Of course, as part of their criteria,they were trying to find one that the UVA administration was supposedly ignoring, because the piece was advocating more federal interference in how schools handle such matters.

      2. AlmightyJB   10 years ago

        What is she 12? Or just mentally 12? Getting political analysis from cocooned brainwashed recent grads like her is like getting travel advice from the boy in the plastic bubble. Of course she is wrong. What else would you expect? She's been taught not to think.

        1. tarran   10 years ago

          She said she was unpopular.

          I suspect a lot of people recognized that she was a horrible person and avoided her.

        2. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

          Moops.

        3. Mad Scientist   10 years ago

          You can't be taught not to think. You have to give up on your own accord, and then be taught how to thank your masters.

        4. MJGreen   10 years ago

          She looks 12, thinks like she's 12, and a lot of guys here are into that.

          1. Los Doyers   10 years ago

            I'd hit. But only if the death tooth never shows.

          2. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

            Hey, even *I* have my standards.

        5. bodenlosen Schweinerei   10 years ago

          She's kinda cute in a Catholic schoolgirl way, but I gear-ron-teee she has a whole closet full of sub-Vogon level poetry that she will read to you the second you get within earshot.

          That's no disincentive for some here, obviously.

    2. Warty   10 years ago

      Elizabeth S. Bruenig @ebruenig ? Apr 4
      Today: one year as a Catholic. Thanks for being there @bjaspray, @snigatkins, @PeteValletta, and @ragnarmb in spirit!

      Oh, she's a convert. She makes so much more sense now.

      1. C. Anacreon   10 years ago

        I first read your comment as "Oh, she's a convent."

        Like the Convent San Tanco. Nun better.

      2. tarran   10 years ago

        No it doesn't!!!!!!!

        I can see how someone who grew up Christian and never paid any attention and just went through the motions could end up having incredibly fucked up and wrong ideas about their religion.

        I have far less charity for an adult who adopts a religion but gets pretty much all its teachings wrong.

        1. Warty   10 years ago

          I have little respect for an adult who would decide to base their life around fairy tales, and absolutely none for an adult who decides that fairy tales are a good basis on which to enslave the whole of humanity. All I'm saying is that she makes more sense now. She has a convert's fanaticism.

          1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

            Let's see...

            Christopher Hitchens converted to atheism at age 14, and his analysis of religion never rose above the adolescent level.

            C. S. Lewis became an atheist as a teenager, but when he became a man he put away childish things and returned to Christianity.

            But, sure, Lewis, Aquinas, Suarez, Bellarmine, More, Francis de Sales, etc. - all of them gibbering idiots compared to Penn Gillette and Sam Harris!

            1. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

              You're right. Sam Harris the neuroscientist knows way less about the world than St. Thomas Aquinas, a man who died before the invention of eye glasses.

              1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

                In Harris' case, I suppose my objection is that he worked overtime to *conceal* his supposedly vast intelligence.

            2. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

              I've read some interesting things at 'First Things' over the years.

            3. Warty   10 years ago

              You don't have any idea what you're talking about. If you had read even half of those people you just named, you'd be a far better thinker than you display yourself to be every time you post here. Get studying, Max. You do your cult a disservice by being part of it.

              1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

                Oh, Warty, don't get your tentacles in a twist.

                I read Hitchens, Dennett, and Dawkins - I learned things from those Three Stooges I never even suspected about Christianity - because it isn't true.

                I learned that Stalin wasn't really an atheist, because he was a fanatic, and only religious people are fanatics.

                And of course, I learned that there are cargo cults, therefore Christianity, Judaism and Islam are wrong, because none of those religions ever warned against worshipping idols.

                1. Warty   10 years ago

                  I was referring more to the religious writers. But holy shit, if that's what you took away from the atheists, you're dumber than I thought you were.

                  1. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

                    I was referring more to the religious writers. But holy shit, if that's what you took away from the atheists, you're dumber than I thought you were.

                    The Stalin thing comes from Christopher Hitchens dumbest argument when Hitchens argued Stalinism itself was a religion because they worshiped Stalin.

                    It was an obviously mendacious attempt by Hitchens to claim every atrocity on Earth is the fault of religion, which just isn't true.

                    So Eddie took probably the stupidest thing Christopher Hitchens ever said and is pretending that's the primary point of the book, when it's actually just a small segment.

                    Also, St. Thomas Aquinas had some pretty fucking stupid arguments as well:

                    1. Objects have properties to greater or lesser extents.

                    2. If an object has a property to a lesser extent, then there exists some other object that has the property to the maximum possible degree.

                    3. So there is an entity that has all properties to the maximum possible degree.

                    4. Hence God exists.

                    There seems to be a bit of a logical leap between steps two and three that Aquinas never really got around to explaining.

                    1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

                      Well, try to write a multi-volume work, without the aid of eye-glasses,* and see how few mistakes *you* make!

                      *And without the aid of a laptop, and without being able to check your assertions against Wikipedia.

                    2. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

                      I still think Aquinas is worth reading.

                      http://www.academia.edu/223227.....conscience

                      'Summa Theologica' was a monumental piece of Western literature from a history perspective regardless where you stand ideologically.

                      I don't know. I had to discuss his attempt at merging reason and faith in University and found his undertaking interesting.

        2. lap83   10 years ago

          "I can see how someone who grew up Christian and never paid any attention and just went through the motions could end up having incredibly fucked up and wrong ideas about their religion."

          I don't, unless it's some weird Christian cult, which Catholicism is not. Academic leftism, on the other hand, is a cult. Her approach to religion makes perfect sense if you realize that her politics are the top priority for her.

          1. Warty   10 years ago

            She's a liberation theology kind of Catholic. It seems like a stretch to even consider them Roman Catholics at all.

            1. lap83   10 years ago

              In that case, "convert" seems also like a stretch.

              1. Warty   10 years ago

                Well she converted to something, and it's real dumb, whatever it is.

                1. Pope Jimbo   10 years ago

                  Give her a break. Americans can't convert from imperial measurements to metric.

                  How do you expect her to be able to convert from whatever she was to Catholicism? That is harder to do than Fahrenheit to Celsius.

                  1. Dweebston   10 years ago

                    This comes up on my FB feed now and again from friends who enjoyed a few terms in the hard sciences and feel like it gives them license to shit on the refusal and/or inability of Americans to convert. Every time I point out that Americans in the STEM fields have by necessity adopted metric standards, and there's really no reason to pressure those who aren't to do so. But naturally, I'm wrong, because Europe.

                    1. Corning   10 years ago

                      What pisses me off most about this is that it mostly comes from Canada and Britain and Australia and those fuckers still use miles pounds feet ounces yards and pints for all sorts of shit.

                      Seriously ask a Brit how tall he his and he will not use centimetres to tell you how tall he is. Ditto for ordering beer at the pub in litres.

      3. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

        She can't be much of a convert since she attended Cambridge specifically to study religion.

        Maybe she converted from another branch of Christianity to Catholicism, but it's not like she was once an unbeliever.

        It actually makes me very sad that I know ESB's educational history. She also attended Brandeis, a fact which I know off the top of my head.

        I...I actually think there might be something wrong with me.

        1. Hamster of Doom   10 years ago

          Oh, maybe?

          1. Hamster of Doom   10 years ago

            That sounded a lot bitchier than I thought.

            1. MJGreen   10 years ago

              He deserves it.

              We love ya, Irish, but this is like a Coeus & Amanda Marcotte level obsession. Save yourself before it's too late.

              1. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

                Leave me alone. We all have to have our hobbies. Mine is making fun of ESB.

                It's no less noble than picking up bowling.

                1. trshmnster the terrible   10 years ago

                  At least yoh accomplish something when you bowl.

                2. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

                  We all have our crushes...

                3. Hamster of Doom   10 years ago

                  Now I feel bad.

                  I bring you boobies of appeasement. Iconic Moments in Bikini History: Phoebe Cates

                  1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

                    Another iconic moment in bikini history: whipped cream bikini from everyone's favorite teen film.

                    1. Dark Lord of the Cis   10 years ago

                      You Bastard!

        2. Pope Jimbo   10 years ago

          Hey, I called for an intervention for you last week and you claimed you didn't have a problem!

          I guess I should be glad you are finally coming around to the truth about this ESB obsession you have.

    3. paranoid android   10 years ago

      Oh, ESB, you're just impossible to satirize. Who could invent words more ridiculous that the ones you willingly lay claim to?

      In balancing a systematic critique on a single person's story, Erdely essentially used a rightwing strategy to make a leftist point. The trouble is only that the right is skilled at this game, and correctly deduced that undoing Jackie's story would go a long way to endangering Erdely's larger structural point. It's an opportunity they never should have been given, both for Jackie's sake, and for the sake of the victims who really do find themselves struggling for protection within a hostile justice system.

      Everyone got that? Jackie wasn't found out because she's a liar who made up her whole story, it's because those right-wing meanies decided they had to destroy her, so that they could destroy Erdely, so that they could, um, make sure women continue to get raped, I guess? In ESB's world, it's really just a totally unrelated coincidence that the accusations that Jackie was lying turned out to be completely true.

      1. MJGreen   10 years ago

        It's an opportunity they never should have been given, both for Jackie's sake

        People are still treating Jackie as some victim. They're even still calling her a "survivor."

        Just let it go, folks. She's a crazy, manipulative person. She was not gang-raped, there's no indication she was ever raped or sexually assaulted in her life.

        1. tarran   10 years ago

          She's not a victim.

          She's a victimizer. She's victimized the guy she had a crush on. She's victimized her friends. She's victimized the people trying to help rape victims. She's victimized the fraternity members. She's victimized the students and faculty at UVA. She's victimized the cops. She's victimized Rolling Stones writers.

          The fact that Rolling Stones magazine, the rape counselors and the school admin chose to go along with her plot doesn't change the fact that she was seeking to mislead them.

          I am not sure whether she should be scourged by having her name publicized. Too many people who level false allegations maintain them because they fear the punishment that will occur if they walk them back. On the other hand, immolating her reputation because she hasn't chosen to be honest promptly enough might be just the thing.

          1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

            Everyone who heard her crazy stories and lent them credence instead of encouraging her to get professional help is also to blame.

            1. tarran   10 years ago

              This too.

              I should say though, having been in that very situation vis a vis a false allegation my ex-wife leveled against an innocent third party, I can understand people's confusion and difficulty in making the logical leap to conclude the incident is being made up whole cloth.

              In my case, it took a cop sitting me down and explaining the holes in her story to open my eyes. Even though I had caught my ex wife making false allegations against me and other people in her circle in the past, I had never considered that she might make such serious allegations against a person she hardly knew.

              And as I write the above, I am well aware of how insane that statement is.

              1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

                I understand what you are saying, but I believe she was attending group therapy sessions on campus as part of some sort of...I do not want to say rape survivors, but a group like that. And she would tell her stories, which is how the Rolling Stone writer heard about her. How many people heard the things that girl was saying and either took advantage of it to further their own interests, or allowed her to just keep saying whatever she wanted because hey, something bad mightcould have happened to her?

                If it was so bad help her get professional help.

      2. trshmnster the terrible   10 years ago

        correctly deduced that undoing Jackie's story would go a long way to endangering Erdely's larger structural point.

        Generally, to make a structural point, you must supply data. Sometimes, in informal settings, you can substitute anecdotal data where you haven't done the scientific research but still want to be persuasive. Either way, your structural point hinges on the validity of your underlying data. Making shit up calls your structural point into question unless you have stronger unfabricated data.

      3. Frosty   10 years ago

        Anyone else looking for footnotes to the bald (naked, heehee) assertions here? "Essentially," "The right is skilled at..." Or, any grammar nerds: "The trouble is only that..."

        Who is claiming this?

    4. The Other Kevin   10 years ago

      I read part of the article, then my eyes glazed over. Why does that store need any explanation other than a woman lied to a reported, who didn't bother to check the facts?

      1. Dweebston   10 years ago

        Because then you can't hold the vast right-wing conspiracy accountable for the sins of your friends on the left.

  5. Mr. Flanders   10 years ago

    Wall Street seems to be the only sector doing well these days. Its almost like there's a bubble.

    1. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

      "Wall Street seems to be the only sector doing well these days. Its almost like there's a bubble."

      Apparently you haven't heard about the nation's capital.

  6. The Other Kevin   10 years ago

    Traditionally minded Indian tribes are digging in against gay marriage. Progressives may have to send in the cavalry.

    We all saw this coming. If you break up the world into too many aggrieved groups, sooner or later some of them will turn on each other. Pass the popcorn.

    1. Antilles   10 years ago

      Yes, but the Proggies have the advantage because they offer more 'free stuff' than the other party. And everyone's forgotten how truly racist the Dems are.

      1. Pope Jimbo   10 years ago

        I grew up near a big indian reservation and it is amazing how racist indians can be. They hate everyone not of their same tribe.

        Color me shocked to find out that they are also against gay marriage.

        It was interesting to me that once I moved away from the rez and into a big city where no one really knew any indians how revered they were to proggies. Shit they could do no wrong according to them.

        This antigay shit is going to fuck up their perception. It will be amusing to see how they square that circle.

        "They don't hate gay people. No, what they hate is that gay marriages waste too much cake. You see their traditional way of life requires them to use every part of the cake"

        1. Antilles   10 years ago

          I keep waiting for socially conservative blacks and Hispanics (which is most of them) to reject the Dem's over-the-top gay legislation. But some people don't have a problem with sacrificing their beliefs and integrity in exchange for Freebies paid for by their enemy.

          1. VG Zaytsev   10 years ago

            That and a lot of them aren't paying attention.

  7. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

    UN Climate Chief: 'We Should Make Every Effort' To Depopulate Planet

    http://www.infowars.com/video-.....he-planet/

    1. AlmightyJB   10 years ago

      I'll start a list. He's first.

    2. C. Anacreon   10 years ago

      Whoops! It's a bit late now to try to put that mask back on.

    3. Catatafish   10 years ago

      It's funny how whenever I end up in debates with some of my prog friends about "environmentalism" and I finally am able to get them to admit that they think "the world has far too many people," they never want to continue the conversation when I ask them if they have an altar picked out on which they'll be slitting their own child's throat.

    4. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

      Depopulate. . .how?

      1. Matrix   10 years ago

        All the unwashed masses get depopulated. Those with connections or are the elites get to continue on.

      2. Restoras, OWG   10 years ago

        Showers and ovens. How else?

        1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

          So it really is the 1930s again?

          1. Hamster of Doom   10 years ago

            + millions Tried-and-true.

          2. Cdr Lytton   10 years ago

            Well, at least one German sent an entire manifest of passengers to their deaths recently.

        2. BakedPenguin   10 years ago

          No, no, no. They'll follow the more environmental Pol Pot methods. turn people into fertilizer for Mother Earth.

          1. Restoras, OWG   10 years ago

            But didn't those depopulated by Pol Pot also have lead poisoning? Something something heavy metals something something fish.

            1. Los Doyers   10 years ago

              What are you, pregnant? Enjoy the cheap sashimi.

          2. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

            Genocide is so 20th century.

      3. AlmightyJB   10 years ago

        I read some dystopian book years ago. Don't recall the name but everyone periodically and voluntarily took a pill and random ones would kill you. That's basically how the book started. There were a lot of those overpopulation books like that 70's early 80's.

    5. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

      It's amazing how not too far off progressive thinking lies...death.

      1. Restoras, OWG   10 years ago

        I'd like to agree with you but once you delve into the origins of progressive thinking it becomes clear that they are a death cult of the first order and firmly believe that it is entirely acceptable for certain segments and subsets of the population be neutralized or outright eliminated in order for the State to advance to its proper place as the pinnacle of human achievement.

        1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

          Like how they embraced eugenics.

          1. Restoras, OWG   10 years ago

            Yup.

          2. Corning   10 years ago

            Or like this climate change video:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATTknP8t7JU

    6. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

      As P. J. O'Rouke said, worrying about overpopulation is just the trendy way to be racist.

      1. bodenlosen Schweinerei   10 years ago

        If they were truly concerned with "disappearing resources", the best thing to do would to be to exterminate those using the most resources for the least return: Western city dwellers.

        Doesn't seem like a plan that would sell, though

    7. Suthenboy   10 years ago

      Shit, that has been their goal all along. At least she admits it openly.

  8. AlmightyJB   10 years ago

    Jeb Bush looks like an evil CIA Director from a movie. Even more than his dad who actually was one.

  9. John   10 years ago

    He may play a "Hispanic" on his old voter registration form, but Jeb Bush concedes he's not so much one in real life. Maybe he and Elizabeth Warren should get together some time.

    He is so done. That is going to kill him with Republican voters. What a dickhead.

    1. Puddin' Stick   10 years ago

      Given how socialist many Hispanic countries are, that's a good thing.

  10. GILMORE   10 years ago

    "He may play a "Hispanic" on his old voter registration form, but Jeb Bush concedes he's not so much one in real life."

    Hold on a second.

    If Bradley Manning can get the world to treat him like a woman just because he says so, why can't I be an Inuit Indian if i suspect i have some Eskimo roots?

    also = SQUIRRELS. everywhere

    1. Jerry on the sea   10 years ago

      Clinton was the first black president, yet I didn't see anyone asking him for voter registration cards.

  11. I'm Mr. Meeseeks   10 years ago

    Maybe he and Elizabeth Warren should get together some time.

    And have a baby together. Babies with fake indian blood and fake hispanic blood are the cutest!

  12. Derpetologist   10 years ago

    Spot the Not: Robert Byrd

    1. The drive for same-sex marriage is, in effect, an effort to make a sneak attack on society by encoding this aberrant behavior in legal form before society itself has decided it should be legal.

    2. I have no objection to President Nixon going to China. I just object to his coming back.

    3. The Klan is needed today as never before, and I am anxious to see its rebirth here in West Virginia.

    4. I shall never fight in the armed forces with a Negro by my side.

    5. Men and races of men differ in appearance, ways, physical power, mental capacity, creativity, and vision.

    6. We are confident that Saddam Hussein retains some stockpiles of chemical and biological weapons, and that he has embarked on a crash course to build up his chemical and biological warfare capabilities.

    1. Derpetologist   10 years ago

      ^ a former long time senator from WV

      1. GILMORE   10 years ago

        he was a republican, right? naturally.

    2. GILMORE   10 years ago

      "Spot the Not: Robert Byrd"

      none of those quotes sound like something that a woman doing a public-access porn show would say.

      1. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

        Is that a dude?

        1. GILMORE   10 years ago

          Would that make it hotter?

          1. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

            Perhaps for Epi.

    3. BakedPenguin   10 years ago

      2 seems too witty for him.

    4. Catatafish   10 years ago

      2. Only because if they really examined themselves they'd realize they were an awful lot alike.

    5. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

      "I have no objection to President Nixon going to China. I just object to his coming back."

      This is actually awesome.

      I guess 6 because I don't think Byrd was still mentally capable of using words like 'embarked' by 2003.

      1. Jerry on the sea   10 years ago

        #6. He also voted against the Iraq War.

    6. Apatheist ?_??   10 years ago

      2

    7. AlmightyJB   10 years ago

      6

    8. trshmnster the terrible   10 years ago

      5 sounds a bit too much like it came from a manifesto or a pamphlet at a campus klan meeting.

    9. MJGreen   10 years ago

      I've heard 2 before, and I'd be surprised if it was from Byrd. I'm going with that.

    10. robc   10 years ago

      #2.

    11. Derpetologist   10 years ago

      As many guessed, #2 is the Not. Congresscritter John G Schmitz said it.

      One more Byrd quote for the road:

      "Rather I should die a thousand times, and see Old Glory trampled in the dirt never to rise again, than to see this beloved land of ours become degraded by race mongrels, a throwback to the blackest specimen from the wilds."

  13. John   10 years ago

    So is the Rolling Stone story the 21st Century American version of the Dryfus affair?

    1. tarran   10 years ago

      It's amazing how the human propensity for prejudice produces such similar behaviors repeating down the centuries!

    2. Restoras, OWG   10 years ago

      No because no Joos?

      1. John   10 years ago

        White straight southern men are to today's America what Jews were to 19th Century France; the hated other.

        1. Restoras, OWG   10 years ago

          Neil Young agrees.

  14. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

    Even if a U.S. Supreme Court ruling this spring makes same-sex marriage the law, it would leave pockets of the country where it isn't likely to be recognized any time soon: the reservations of a handful of sovereign Native American tribes, including the nation's two largest.

    NEWS FROM THE FUTURE: Perhaps the most unexpected result of the Supreme Court's ruling requiring all states to recognize same sex marriages was the resumption of the Indian Wars two years later as various tribes discovered themselves being overrun by evangelical christians seeking to settle on their reservations.

    1. Hamster of Doom   10 years ago

      Foreseeable consequences are not unintended?

    2. MJGreen   10 years ago

      And libertarians are to blame.

  15. Warty   10 years ago

    I've gone down the Twitter rabbit hole. Someone interpret this for me.

    Sally Kohn ?@sallykohn 29m29 minutes ago
    .@charlescwcooke no, i'm saying that democratically passed laws that ban discrimination are NOT equivalent to government force

    1. John   10 years ago

      That is like saying carpet bombing for what you feel is a just cause is not equivalent to waging war. Jesus these people are stupid.

      1. GILMORE   10 years ago

        Not if you actually bomb them with *carpets*

    2. Hamster of Doom   10 years ago

      Something something cocaine.

      1. Warty   10 years ago

        COCAINE!!!

        1. Hamster of Doom   10 years ago

          AGREED!!!

        2. MJGreen   10 years ago

          Co-caine!

    3. Catatafish   10 years ago

      But...but...I thought "government is what we decide to do together" was the mantra!

      1. Hamster of Doom   10 years ago

        So long as everyone decides to do what I want, or else.

    4. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

      You should read her initial article where she says government force does not exist because there's no one in the car with a gun telling you not to speed, you just have to deal with the consequences if you get caught.

      It's one of the most convoluted leaps of logic I've seen in a long time.

      1. Catatafish   10 years ago

        It's amazing to me how she can be so oblivious to what happens once you "get caught." I don't pay my ticket because I want to. I pay it because I don't want to get thrown in jail. And I'd only agree to go to jail because the guy offering the accommodations can shoot me if I politely decline.

      2. The Laconic Esq   10 years ago

        That article was breathtaking. Somebody please link to it.

        1. The Laconic Esq   10 years ago

          Try this: ccwc.me/1Dd4WpC

          1. The Laconic Esq   10 years ago

            MEH. This?

            http://talkingpointsmemo.com/c.....o-anything

      3. Catatafish   10 years ago

        I'm going to require a chemical shower to get the derp from my eyes after reading that in its entirety.

    5. Dark Lord of the Cis   10 years ago

      My Twitterese is a little rusty. I think Sally just admitted that she doesn't understand what words mean.

    6. Carl ?s the level   10 years ago

      I thought I recognized the name

    7. Derpetologist   10 years ago

      They believe that might makes right when they have the majority. When they are the minority, they believe their superior principles trump what is popular.

      Many have told me that all choices are voluntary. Thus, compliance with taxes and laws is a free choice.

      It's really amazing the lengths they will go to to pretend that the government never uses force on people.

    8. GILMORE   10 years ago

      I remain convinced that Twitter is the most powerful Enstupiding Device ever designed.

      1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

        It has surpassed the E! network?

        1. GILMORE   10 years ago

          Both E! and the Oxygen network, other cable channels, made noble efforts.

          I think nothing has even approached the nuclear-grade stupid of Twitter since the explosion of Daytime Talk Shows in the 1990s.

    9. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

      From her Washington Post article:

      "Sally Kohn is an essayist and a CNN political commentator."

      Truly a marginal figure!

    10. Puddin' Stick   10 years ago

      And passing a law to ban sales of untaxed cigarettes is NOT equivalent to government force.

  16. John   10 years ago

    So Tina Fey puts in a character in some netflix show she is doing that makes fun of some Hollywood dermatologist for the crime of looking an acting funny. The guy wasn't any kind of celebrity and didn't ask to be the limelight other than by having some celebrity patients. Apparently the portrayal was so nasty the guy has now killed himself over it.

    http://www.hollywoodreporter.c.....und-786482

    It is one thing to go after a politician or actor who makes their living by being famous. It is another to go after an average person and to go after the way the look and talk, which is nothing but vicious ridicule masquerading as humor. Fey really is a first class awful person.

    1. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

      Yes obviously the guy who hosted a national "Ask Dr. Brandt" radio show and who referred to himself as "The King of Collagen" was trying to avoid the limelight.

      And seriously, if Bo commits suicide tomorrow, does that suddenly make you responsible because you mocked him?

      1. John   10 years ago

        If Hit and Run were a syndicated sitcom I would. I didn't know he hosted a national radio show. Regardless, Fey is still a nasty bitch. Worst of all, she is not very creative. The best she could do was to make fun of how someone looks. That is pretty pathetic.

      2. GILMORE   10 years ago

        You really think that might work?

    2. Antilles   10 years ago

      Yes, I saw this and had no idea Martin Short was portraying a real person. Funny that the 'creative' Hollywood types are perceived as so nice and generous and concerned about (some) disadvantaged people, when in reality they can be truly nasty and cruel--and then dismiss their bullying as "just a joke." Doubt anyone connected with that show will lose sleep over it.

      1. John   10 years ago

        No. It is almost uncanny how celebrities' actual characters are nearly always the exact opposite of their public personaes. Fey's public image is that of the super cute nice girl next door. In realty, she seems to be the opposite, a nasty vindictive bitch.

        1. Antilles   10 years ago

          Yes, I've often heard that actors you regularly play villains are virtually all really nice in person. Doesn't surprise me the inverse is also true. Look how long Rosie O'Donnell fooled everyone.

      2. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

        They'll soon be joining the 'Stop Bullying' campaign.

    3. Carl ?s the level   10 years ago

      Apparently the portrayal was so nasty the guy has now killed himself over it.

      According to whom? The article includes:

      "It is mean, and it was bullying. But the show was not the reason for his depression, and it was not the reason he would take his own life," said [his publicist]

      1. Warty   10 years ago

        Yeah, I'm dubious, to put it mildly.

      2. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

        Seriously depressed guy kills self, John concludes it's Tina Fey's fault because libruls.

        1. John   10 years ago

          His friends said he was devastated over the portrayal.

          And shouldn't you be out suing a bakery or something? I have it on good authority that a doughnut shop owner in Peoria was recorded as saying he wouldn't sell a mixed dozen to a gay wedding party. You should get right on that.

          1. Hamster of Doom   10 years ago

            Oh, for fuck's sake, John. Let it go, dude.

        2. Pope Jimbo   10 years ago

          C'mon, Irish. Tina Fey made fun of Sara Palin. That is heresy to John.

          1. Puddin' Stick   10 years ago

            Don't let him watch Iron Sky.

    4. tarran   10 years ago

      So Tina Fey puts in a character in some netflix show she is doing that makes fun of some Hollywood dermatologist for the crime of looking an acting funny. The guy wasn't any kind of celebrity and didn't ask to be the limelight other than by having some celebrity patients. Apparently the portrayal was so nasty the guy has now killed himself over it.

      Bluntly, the guy wasn't some fellow who wanted to stay out of the limelight, but welcomed it.

      HE also clearly had some very serious body image issues related to getting old. It was a fight that one day he was bound to lose. I don't blame Tina for his suicide. He chose to do that.

    5. Apatheist ?_??   10 years ago

      I thought that character was pretty funny. I don't see how his suicide is anybody's fault but his own.

      1. John   10 years ago

        True, but that doesn't make going after the guy any nicer.

        1. Apatheist ?_??   10 years ago

          Why should I care about this any more than the portrayal of Matt Damon in Team America or other endless number of people who are poked fun at on TV and in movies?

          1. lap83   10 years ago

            I agree with this. People who write comedy tend to be inspired by real life. Maybe Tina Fey isn't nice, but nice people tend to not go into comedy.

            1. lap83   10 years ago

              For example, I think Louis CK is really funny. But I also think he's an asshole. Often those things seem to be correlated.

              1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

                The guy who came up with the Jizanthapuss routine is an asshole? No way!

            2. Apatheist ?_??   10 years ago

              I had no idea it was based on a real person till reading that link. It sucks that he died I guess but its almost funnier looking at the picture of the real person. He has fucked up his face pretty bad.

              1. lap83   10 years ago

                Personally, I think someone who goes into plastic surgery is probably a bit messed up to begin with.

              2. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

                Pretty much every comedic character you've ever seen has been based on somebody real.

    6. MJGreen   10 years ago

      The guy killed himself. He was depressed. He was not depressed over that.

      "It is mean, and it was bullying. But the show was not the reason for his depression, and it was not the reason he would take his own life,"

      FFS, John.

      1. John   10 years ago

        We will never know for sure why he did it. it still cuts against Fey's nice girl image and I think makes her look pretty nasty.

  17. Derpetologist   10 years ago

    Praise for my work:

    SweatingGin|8.21.13 @ 8:31PM|#

    That's worse than SugarFree's musings.

    Wasteland Wanderer|3.13.15 @ 5:52PM|#

    You are an evil person. I hope you know that.

    Warty|3.9.15 @ 2:00PM|#

    You are truly a monster.

    Scruffy Nerfherder|4.22.14 @ 9:01PM|#

    You're hurting my brain with this shit.

    Free Society|3.12.15 @ 10:29AM|#

    I watched the video. I hate you Derpetologist.

    WTF|3.12.15 @ 10:36AM|#

    You really are a Sadist, you know that, don't you?

    Suthenboy|3.11.15 @ 5:44PM|#

    Why in the name of God would you show us that? What the hell did we do to you?

    GILMORE|1.10.14 @ 11:12PM|#

    Oh god, that's painful

    Aloysious|8.6.14 @ 7:37PM|#

    dear god.

    Sudden|4.29.14 @ 11:22PM|#

    Y'know Derptologist, I made a conscious decision not to have children so that I wouldn't get pissed off by shit that's 11 years old.

    Thanks for fucking that up for me.

    1. Hamster of Doom   10 years ago

      Things Printed Out For Derp's Mom's Fridge, for the Daily Double, Alex.

    2. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

      Mind letting us unaware in on what this is about?

      1. Derpetologist   10 years ago

        Just tooting my horn. I thought it would be funny to make a list of various reactions to my posts.

        1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

          Yeh but what are they reacting to?

          1. Derpetologist   10 years ago

            Several are reactions to this video:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmO-ziHU_D8

            Sudden's reaction is to this one:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwFaSpca_3Q

            Caution: both are extra derpy

            1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

              The first I've seen and may have even linked to it here. But you're evil for subjecting our sensitive community to it.

              The second I've not seen and hate you for it.

              Bubble Friedman.

            2. Sudden   10 years ago

              Jesus. I just watched that first one.

              There are simply no words... either to describe that or within that as far as I can tell.

              1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

                What, you don't get 'ah, ah, nigga, ah, ah, ah, nigga, ah, you whitey?'

                It's Hegelian.

                Look it up.

            3. DEG   10 years ago

              Everyone gets a trophy!

  18. John   10 years ago

    http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/s.....6-12-58-45

    Obama seeks a forever friend in Iran. Sorry Barrack, I just don't think they are that into you.

    1. VG Zaytsev   10 years ago

      But Valerie promised him it'd work.

  19. Derpetologist   10 years ago

    Other praise for my work:

    PapayaSF|4.29.14 @ 9:10PM|#

    You are truly the Duke of Derp.

    sarcasmic|11.8.14 @ 6:36PM|#

    That was awesome. I'm stealing that.

    BigT|7.2.14 @ 10:37PM|#

    GMSM, Derp is obsessed. Just walk away. You don't want to go where he can lead you.

    BuSab Agent|3.8.14 @ 2:21AM|#

    Okay, Derp you owe me a keyboard.

    Jordan|3.27.14 @ 10:29PM|#

    This comment needs more love because that shit is hilarious.

    jesse.in.mb|3.27.14 @ 10:08PM|#

    Hail Derpetologist, our libertarian messiah!

    Notorious G.K.C.|11.9.14 @ 9:07PM|#

    Derpy, this could well be one of your most frightening finds yet.

    DesigNate|5.13.14 @ 2:29PM|#

    You are a good man Derpetologist, I could never steel myself to study the Derp as you have.

    Irish|1.29.15 @ 9:38PM|#

    You're a master, Derpetologist. I take back what I said about you.

    Hyperion|11.9.14 @ 9:43PM|#

    I have to day, that link that Derptologist posted above with Yuri Bezmenov, that is one of the best things I have ever seen here or anywhere.

    Bobarian|8.10.14 @ 6:02PM|#

    That, right there, is the derpiest thing you've ever brought on to HampersandR.

    1. AlmightyJB   10 years ago

      Try all you want Derpster but you'll never be worse than Nicole

      1. Derpetologist   10 years ago

        Nicole for the Worst, but me for the Derp.

    2. Sudden   10 years ago

      Can you please provide this link a second time?

      1. Derpetologist   10 years ago

        There's a 2 link limit per post. Which one do you want to see again?

        Man, I love being the Red Dragon of Derp.

        "This it Thomas Friedman mixing metaphors for 3 minutes straight. DO YOU SEE!?"

        1. Sudden   10 years ago

          I was going to ask for the link on Yuri Bezmenov. Hyperion seemed really in awe at that one.

          1. Derpetologist   10 years ago

            Here's the short one:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLqHv0xgOlc

            I highly recommend the longer Bezmenov videos "Deception Was My Job" and "Psychological Warfare".

  20. John   10 years ago

    http://www.mediaite.com/online.....al-school/

    Indian actress' brother pretended to be black to get into med school. Good for him.

    1. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

      And he learned something med school can't teach him; he learned what it's like to be black!

      1. John   10 years ago

        That is right. Maybe everyone should pretend to be black and go to med school.

        1. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

          James Earl Jones is saddened by your lack of familiarity with 80s film.

          1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

            You mean, like Conan the Barbarian? Or The Blues Brothers (which I just rewatched for the first time in quite a few years this weekend)?

            1. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

              No, I mean like Soul Man, the one I was referencing.

              1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

                I know, I was just being difficult. Though I must say that I didn't care much for that film.

                1. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

                  Of course you didn't, it was a terrible movie. Which makes it even funnier that a large number of 30 somethings thought of it immediately when they saw this story.

                  1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

                    Now Conan disguised himself as an acolyte of the snake religion. Actually, that didn't work out so well.

            2. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

              "We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline."

          2. John   10 years ago

            I got the reference. I just didn't make a very good one back.

        2. Tak Kak   10 years ago

          Strangely enough, I know many who pretended to be Indian. (The other kind)

    2. Dark Lord of the Cis   10 years ago

      I liked that movie better the first time it came out in the 80's. That version had Jerry Curl.

      1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

        C. Thomas Howell was the man.

      2. PH2050   10 years ago

        "Just let your SOOOOOUUUULLLL GLLOOOOOOOWWWWWWW..."

    3. Antilles   10 years ago

      Hey, I've been arguing all morning on that site with the idiots who continue to support 'Affirmative Action' and bemoan 'White Privilege.' I'm Bad Spock.

    4. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

      Why can't someone claim whatever identity they want? Why is it okay with gender or sexual orientation but not with race or ethnicity? Heck, you can even do it with religion.

      1. John   10 years ago

        If I can claim to be a woman because I feel that way, I don't see why I can't claim to be black or an ancient Roman or anything else.

        1. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

          +1 General Patton

        2. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

          It certainly would seem to follow, if these idiots were, in fact, using logic. I'm going to start claiming space alien status.

          1. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

            Where's your green card? An illegal alien, eh?

            1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

              What, that's a thing now?

              1. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

                *tazes Pro Liberate and sends him to the ICE camp*

                1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

                  What, humans don't have personal force shields?

          2. John   10 years ago

            I am claiming to be a member of the lost city of Atlantis.

            1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

              Be careful with that. You may be deemed to be a Greek citizen.

            2. Derpetologist   10 years ago

              I like to think the people of Atlantis sunk their continent on purpose so they could bail on their debts.

              1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

                This is not the case. They sunk Atlantis on purpose to avoid taxes.

              2. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

                Why do you think that to this day, they're still called underwater mortgages?

                1. Derpetologist   10 years ago

                  I approve of this quip.

                  [polite applause]

            3. Pope Jimbo   10 years ago

              Sucker!

              Now you have to root for the Braves, Falcons and Hawks.

              OK, the Hawks seem to be fun this year, but the rest of them are always a disappointment*.

              * Don't try to tell me that the Braves were a good team to follow in the 90's. They were loaded and only won one Series. And they lost to the Twins on one of the most bone headed base running blunders ever.

              1. Puddin' Stick   10 years ago

                Don't forget the rooting for the Atlanta hockey team(s)?

        3. Hyperion   10 years ago

          If you're an Otherkin, doesn't that mean you can be anything you want to be?

          1. Puddin' Stick   10 years ago

            Does a catkin meow?

      2. GILMORE   10 years ago

        BTW - my above comment was based partly in a fact...

        ...when i took my SAT's I filled in the bubble saying i was "American Indian - Inuit".

        I got a tsunami of mail from every college in America offering me a free ride. I was the smartest Eskimo the world had ever seen. Boy was my dad pissed. I had to write a letter to everyone apologizing for the error, and request that the college board correct it.

        I still sometimes think of myself as being a little "Eskimo". It was partly to do with the movie Heathers

        1. Pope Jimbo   10 years ago

          Bullshit! I bet you were going to go through with the whole charade until one of those college administrators asked to you prove your ancestry.

          You totally chickened out when he trotted out the 300 lb gal and said if you were really an Inuit, you'd have no problem eating Blubber.

          1. Beautiful Bean Footage   10 years ago

            Paging Barfman...

          2. GILMORE   10 years ago

            " I bet you were going to go through with the whole charade"

            I had the sealskins and harpoon ready and everything.

          3. R C Dean   10 years ago

            Hey, the last thing some college admin who just landed a coveted Victim Group Member is going to do is ask for proof.

            Elizabeth Warren's entire career is proof of that.

      3. lap83   10 years ago

        "Why is it okay with gender or sexual orientation but not with race or ethnicity?"
        Claiming a different gender identity is brave but claiming to be a different race is crazy. And that is because stuff.

        1. Libertymike   10 years ago

          See C. Thomas Howell.

    5. BakedPenguin   10 years ago

      ...Chokal-Ingam, who graduated from the University of Chicago with a meager 3.1 GPA...

      A 'B' average is "meager"?

      1. Warty   10 years ago

        Yeah, that's pretty shitty for anyone who wants to get a graduate degree, and certainly for med school. I think I finished undergrad with something similarly crappy.

      2. GILMORE   10 years ago

        Yes. At many schools, 3.0 is basically "free" for showing up to all your classes. Ivys in particular are notorious grade-inflators. You could rarely show up at some classes and still get a 2.5.-2.7. 3.3-3.5 means you put in effort.

        Above that, you're kind of an asshole.

        that said, Chicago was always described to me as being more like Hopkins, Rice, other schools where they actually *expect you to work*. i got rejected from there myself. It was one of my top choices.

        1. Apatheist ?_??   10 years ago

          Yes at Rice a 3.1 was pretty good (and I did hear that Chicago was similar), but it certainly wouldn't be stellar for a Med School application. That said it depended on your major, which is why the school also reports average gpa by major.

    6. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

      OK, people, I see the guy who played Kumar in Harold and Kumar in the starring role.

      I see Chris Rock as the mentor teaching the Indian guy how to be black.

      "No, no, don't say, 'thank you for calling Spewit Backward computers, how may I help you,' say 'yo, what have you done to your computer *this* time, you dumb honky?

      "And instead of saying 'Thank you, come again,' say 'Hey, try and buy something next time, m_____f_____!'

      "And now there's one particular word you have to get used to using...so repeat it 100 times until you're comfortable with it..."

      1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

        And tasteless jokes...time to dust off all the tasteless jokes you never dared to use in bars, and didn't even dare to write on the bathroom walls.

      2. PH2050   10 years ago

        Chris Tucker (greater than symbol) Chris Rock

        1. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

          Chris Rock is funnier, but Chris Tucker is more amusing, if that makes sense.

          1. PH2050   10 years ago

            To me, Rock can be funnier or more insightful in what he's saying but Tucker can have a more entertaining delivery.

            1. Pope Jimbo   10 years ago

              If you use Tucker, you can work in a funny scene at the karaoke bar where he teaches the indian guy how to sing and dance like a black guy.

              1. PH2050   10 years ago

                I don't care who you are, Tucker was epic in The Fifth Element.

                1. Hamster of Doom   10 years ago

                  Everything was is epic in The Fifth Element.

  21. Protagoronus   10 years ago

    Too many SQRLs. However,
    Snowdon statue in Brooklyn

  22. Derpetologist   10 years ago

    MO Republican killed himself after being falsely accused of being Jewish. His spokesman also killed himself.

    http://forward.com/articles/21.....suicide-a/

    1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

      Like the guy above, he had other mental issues I'm sure.

    2. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

      Maybe the story is true, maybe it isn't. A lot of the allegations seem to originate from the guy before he died.

      By all means follow up and get to the bottom of the story, but the guy he accused denies it, and the accused has some rights.

      Let's not to Rolling Stone on everyone.

      1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

        not *go*

  23. PH2050   10 years ago

    "Big Gov and Big Finance: A Partnership For A Darker, More Cronyist, Future?"

  24. mr lizard   10 years ago

    Stooopid Rays. That's what I get for going to the opener.

    1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

      How bad was Archer?

  25. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

    Try to guess what city you're looking at based purely on a map of where its Starbucks are located:

    The Slate Starbucks Map Quiz, Volume 2

    1. lap83   10 years ago

      I got 7 out of 14. Better than I thought I'd do.

    2. robc   10 years ago

      9/14

    3. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

      It's going to be Seattle, isn't it?

    4. Puddin' Stick   10 years ago

      5/14? I recognized the coasts of a lot of cities?

  26. Sevo   10 years ago

    "At least Wall Street got a boost out of those lousy job figures. Stocks rose on the expectation that the Fed will keep interest rates low."

    "Recovery Summer" is like sooo last year!
    But turd and commie-kid will tell of of Obo's wonderfulness!

    1. PH2050   10 years ago

      I think I read the economy is like 8% better now?

      1. Sevo   10 years ago

        Man, that's gonna follow him forever! And he deserves to have it rammed down his throat every time.

      2. bodenlosen Schweinerei   10 years ago

        It's the Gov't Lies Royal Rumble!

        When gov't agencies are publicly calling each other's bullshit as bullshit, the bullshit is definitely getting deep.

        The best part: "Seasonally adjusted data for metropolitan areas will be unavailable until further notice". Fuck fixing it, we're just going to disappear it. Problem solved, let's watch some Shemale Tube!

  27. Free Society   10 years ago

    He may play a "Hispanic" on his old voter registration form, but Jeb Bush concedes he's not so much one in real life. Maybe he and Elizabeth Warren should get together some time.

    We live in a society that subsidizes all that is "not white". So expect more of this.

    1. Puddin' Stick   10 years ago

      Isn't this a form of rent seeking?

  28. bodenlosen Schweinerei   10 years ago

    If you want more equity, we'll let you swap a little bit of your cash salary for equity, but we aren't going to reward people who are better negotiators with more compensation.

    'Cause basic business skills are, like, totes irrelevant to business. Or your salary. Or whatever.

    1. PH2050   10 years ago

      "Don't ever feel the need to be assertive, especially when you feel that you're right."

      Great lesson to teach the crybabies.

    2. lap83   10 years ago

      Scott Adams had an interesting take on that study http://blog.dilbert.com/post/1.....applied-to Basically, that women are penalized for aggressive negotiating because of the uncanny valley concept, but that they can still become better negotiators by pointing to objective market information instead of trying to appeal to fairness (which can seem manipulative).

      1. R C Dean   10 years ago

        Women can bring a different and equally effective set of tools to negotiation. The notion that women have to be manly to be good negotiators is just crap.

        Negotation, in my experience, is mostly a matter of stubbornness anyway. And women don't give up anything to men on that count.

    3. bodenlosen Schweinerei   10 years ago

      Honestly, who demeans women more than these feminists? Their basic (and maybe only) premise is no matter what a woman may try, she'll fail, because the power of penis.

    4. Sevo   10 years ago

      "[...]It's hard to argue with any move that might make the hiring process and salary decisions as democratic and equitable as possible. [...]"

      No, it's not.

      1. R C Dean   10 years ago

        Yeah, if you want to go out of business, let your staff vote on what their pay and benefits should be.

        1. bodenlosen Schweinerei   10 years ago

          Ah, but true to proggie anti-meritocratic nature, what is actually happening here is management is instituting a "like it or lump it" policy, because no negotiating is allowed. What every they offer is all you're going to get, and what odds they decide to "make up for centuries of gender pay discrimination" by offering more to the more "diverse" candidates?

    5. GILMORE   10 years ago

      Isn't this the same woman who thought she should sue people who failed to promote her?

      she's like the anti-michelle-rhee. she wants to strip meritocracy out of the private sector rather then try and inject it into the public sector.

  29. Mickey Rat   10 years ago

    "He may play a "Hispanic" on his old voter registration form, but Jeb Bush concedes he's not so much one in real life"

    Did he think "Hispanic" is a venereal disease?

    1. R C Dean   10 years ago

      His answer should have been more along the lines of

      "I ticked that box by mistake, but really, I'm more Hispanic than Elizabeth Warren is Cherokee."

      Too bad it would be electoral suicide, or he could add on "Beside, if gender identity is just a matter of personal preference, why can't ethnic identity be the same?"

    2. Hamster of Doom   10 years ago

      Something you catch by sleeping with the staff?

      You know, it's possible that's exactly what he thought.

  30. R C Dean   10 years ago

    Speaking of Iran, Obama just can't giving shit away to get this deal:

    Requiring Iran to recognize Israel in a comprehensive agreement over its nuclear program is misguided policy, US President Barack Obama said on Monday.

    http://www.jpost.com/Middle-Ea.....ent-396370

    Apparently, nobody ever told him not to negotiate against himself. If I was a mullah, I'd just sit back, lob out the occasional pessimistic/confrontational press release, and wait for this lightweight to give up even more, in exchange for nothing.

    1. bodenlosen Schweinerei   10 years ago

      Ellen Pao understands: negotiating is icky boy stuff, so let's just give away the store.

      Sing along with Barry:

      BOHICA! is better if we all do it together.
      So touch your toes
      And hold your nose
      Because that's just the way the story goes!
      BOHICA!

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