Republicans Worry About Iran Deal, Al Shabaab Attacks Kenyan University, DHS Looking Into Nationwide License Plate Tracking System Again: A.M. Links

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  • Kevin Dooley/flickr

    John Boehner and other Congressional Republicans expressed reservations about a "framework" negotiated for a nuclear deal with Iran, saying they want Congress to play a role, something President Obama said he welcomed.

  • The Somali Al Qaeda affiliate Al Shabaab launch an attack on Garissa University College in Kenya, killing more than 140 people.
  • Sen. Mark Kirk (Ill.) became the fifth Repubican senator to signal he would vote to confirm Loretta Lynch as attorney general.
  • The Department of Homeland Security is trying again to set up a nationwide license plate tracking system.
  • Sen. Dianne Feinstein's (D-Calif.) solution to terrorists using the Internet is to ban things terrorists look for on the Internet.
  • The Coast Guard  found a man lost at sea for 66 days after a German tanker reported seeing him.

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  1. Links on Good Friday? War on Christianity.

      1. Something, something, last supper. 8-(

    1. I have a dream that Reason will see something in one of the other 49 states to cover today.

      Our redtards will be disappoint.

      1. I actually enjoyed the last thread on the topic, where I discovered a new business opportunity, chic wedding pizza, P?te Neapolitan du Fromage. Layered pizza, with frou-frou ingredients.

    2. EVERY Friday is a good Friday.

  2. The Coast Guard found a man lost at sea for 66 days after a German tanker reported seeing him.

    I’d say his pizza’s free then.

    1. You know who else German tankers reported seeing?

      1. Is it Hitler? Is that the answer?

        1. Deplorable animal abuse. Excellent response.

      2. Sgt. Yakov Pavlov?

      3. Nicely phrased, Switzy, in the true german style.

    2. Was he taking the boat to a gay wedding?

    3. Oh, I saw this movie. Lifeboat.

      1. Now I have that theme song in my head.

        Life, exciting and new
        Come Aboard. We’re expecting you.
        Life, life’s sweetest reward.
        Let it flow, it floats back to you.

        Life Boat soon will be making another run
        The Life Boat promises something for everyone
        Set a course for adventure,
        Your mind on a new romance.

        Life won’t hurt anymore
        It’s an open smile on a friendly shore.
        Yes LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE! It’s LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE! (hey-ah!)

        Life Boat soon will be making another run
        The Life Boat promises something for everyone
        Set a course for adventure,
        Your mind on a new romance.

        Life won’t hurt anymore
        It’s an open smile on a friendly shore.
        It’s LIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE! It’s LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE! It’s
        LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!
        It’s the Life Boat-ah! It’s the Life Boat-ah!

  3. Bikini-clad Jessica Alba lavishes love on her little ones as she enjoys a snorkelling adventure with husband Cash Warren and daughters in St Barths

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..Baths.html
    Dang.

    1. Eh. I guess some people are into that sort of thing.

    2. Lots of girl on girl action in that piece.

      1. go on…

        1. You have to be excited about the new Mad Max.

    3. She has all the sex appeal of a RealDoll. I don’t get it.

  4. ‘Jesus is a MYTH’: Christ stories appeared decades after his ‘death’ – and he was probably many people rather than just one, atheist writer claims
    Atheist writer David Fitzgerald claims there is no evidence Jesus existed
    The San Francisco based author instead says Jesus was a literary allegory created by combining old Jewish stories and rituals along with rival cults
    He insists it is time to stop believing in Jesus Christ as a historical figure

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sci…..laims.html

    1. Athiests hatin’ on Jesus… just sad, man. Leave the man/deity be…

    2. He insists it is time to stop believing in Jesus Christ as a historical figure

      Feel free, Dave.

      1. You said it, mahn.

    3. A couple of years ago I suggested I’d like to see a bunch of zombie movies on Easter to celebrate the undead Jesus. Needless to say, opinion was sharply divided.

      1. My kid got in trouble in Catholic school a few years ago for (seriously) suggesting exactly that. When the teacher contradicted him, he insisted on getting the dictionary and reading the definition of “zombie” and pointing out that the Jesus story fit it exactly.The phone call I got from them was… priceless.

    4. Didn’t we already know that? I tend to think that there probably was a real person at the beginning of the whole thing. But the Bible is certainly not a reliable historical document.

      1. Palestine was crawling with would-be messiahs at the time. I can easily believe one of them was particularly memorable to his followers, and that some teachings of others became misattributed to him.

        The Virgin Birth, Resurrection? Nope. They are the period’s equivalent to JFK assassination theories. Their Hero deserved a better story surrounding his death than reality, so they whipped themselves into fervent belief (rose after the 3rd day, shot by the CIA because he was going to get us out of Vietnam, etc).

        1. Yeah, that seems likely. All of the virgin/asexual birth and resurrection stuff was largely present in other older traditions.

      2. I am not the real Dread Pirate Roberts.

        1. In that case I highly recommend that you avoid Iocane powder.

          1. Or posting anything about Silk Road.

    5. [eyeroll]

      OK, so let’s assume he wasn’t a real human being… So what? Christians don’t worship a mortal man who said he was the Son of God, they worship the Son of God. Historicity of Jesus has nothing to do with the faith in a redemptive act by an aspect of a Supreme Being.

      1. The most charitable reading I can come up with is that he is telling historians that they should stop assuming that Jesus is historical.

        1. That’s what I got out of it.

          1. Me as well.

      2. Actually it would be a big deal.

        To most Christians the crucifixion of Jesus was not some mere metaphor for redemption. It was literally that act which makes their salvation possible and if that never happened then their entire faith is meaningless.

        If we had iron clad proof that Jesus of Nazareth never existed it wouldn’t make it impossible to be a Christian but it would decimate the christian faith and make what was left look something more like Deism than the active evangelizing faith that it has been.

        It would also put an end to folks like Ken Hamm’s young earth creationism and all other biblical literalist beliefs.

        That said as an Atheist I think that it is almost a certainty that there was an itinerant preacher in Judea during the late 1st century BC that either claimed or was reported by his followers to be the messiah and who was named Jesus and he probably did at least some of the things attributed to Jesus in the Bible, there is a good chance he was even crucified by the Romans. That doesn’t mean he was the son of god or that the miracles he was purported to have performed ever happened but odds are there is someone that served as the basis for the legend.

        1. Too many people are making too much money for the train to be derailed by something as simple as historical fact.

          And nothing is going to stop the young Earthers. They already reject pretty much every bit of understanding science has discovered about the natural world. They are lost to reason.

          1. I know, my entire family are young earth Christian Dominionists

            1. Ugh. Sorry, man.

            2. As an agnostic, I find the young earthers to be just, well, beyond saving.

        2. “If we had iron clad proof that Jesus of Nazareth never existed….”

          It would make no difference whatsoever.

  5. Can someone remind me what happens if Jesus sees his shadow?

    1. It means the sun is out, or the light is on. Nothing major.

    2. He goes back in the tomb and we have six more weeks of atheists?

      1. No, they are a permanent infestation.

    3. Six more weeks of lent?

    4. He has to sneak back across the border to Mexico for 6 more weeks.

    5. It means Joseph Smith was right, and totally not on powerful hallucinogens.

      1. Dumb-dumb-dumb-dumb-dumb-dumb. Dumb.

  6. ‘Congratulations! Manuela just gave you a car!’ The Price Is Right model messes up and reveals vehicle’s $21,960 price tag to overjoyed contestant
    Manuela Arbelaez handed The Price Is Right contestant Andrea a $21,960 Hyundai Sonata SE for free on Thursday’s show
    The absentminded model revealed the correct price of the car too early
    Host Drew Carey was left with little opinion but to tell the contestant, ‘Congratulations! Manuela just gave you a car! The game is over, folks’

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..stant.html
    Duh-oh!

    1. How many years has that show been on the air? Has this happened before, or are performance standards slipping?

      1. I DEMAND LEGISLATION TO ADDRESS THIS POTENTIALLY CRITICAL ISSUE!!!

        1. How about a series of videos– reason Saves The Price is Right?

      2. Bob Barker in his later years would simply declare the contestant a winner for all sorts of production errors.

        1. I hadn’t actually watched the show since I was a kid, so I wasn’t aware of that.

    2. “That’s coming out of your paycheck.”

      1. It’s taped. They could’ve just shitcanned this take and done it over.

    3. I especially enjoyed the bikini picks inserted into that article just because. The daily mail has to be the best run rag ever.

      1. That was for context, you uneducated boor.

        1. The bikini pics are there to explain why she gets to give away cars without being fired.

    4. That girl could give me a free car any time she wanted.

      1. But would she let you park it in her garage?

        1. I doubt it, because I’d want to park it sideways.

          1. But than where would you store your power tools and the stuff you would like to throw away one day but just can’t bring yourself to let go of the past?

            1. I think that girl likes to keep her garage cleaner than that.

      2. Even if it’s a Hyundai?

        1. Sure. I can also use it as my new shootin’ car.

      3. Jesus Christ, she’s adorable. Science fact: hot chicks become 53% hotter when they’re embarrassed.

  7. Tampa man pulls son’s tooth using Camaro

    Tampa man Robert Abercrombie, aka Rob Venomous in his professional wrestling life, is going viral after posting video of his unusual tooth-pulling method.

    He used his Chevy Camaro.

    Abercrombie told FOX 13 on Wednesday morning that he was looking for a new way to pull his son’s second tooth. Jason is 8 years old and was excited about the idea.

    The uneasy video starts with Abercrombie revving his engine in front his home before he hits the accelerator, pulling the tooth with ease.

    1. He could have just used the car door.

    2. Only a dumb hick from Tampa would think that pulling a tooth with a car was original.

      1. [Moves Sparky up personal disposition matrix.]

        1. What are you gonna do, send your snakes after me?

          1. “Send?” No. Don’t look down the toilet bowl. It’s less horrifying if you don’t see it coming.

    3. “Florida man drags son behind pick-up truck”

      1. Shit! Wrong tooth.

        1. Nah, wrong daughter…

    4. For fuck’s sake. Youtube is rife with creative tooth-pulling, and I even saw a tooth-pulling montage on fricken America’s Funniest Videos.

    5. You must have the volume up a little just for the moment the tooth comes out

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TM3dpPqWG7Y

    6. I’d like to see how he removes his wife’s tampon.

      1. Like this?

  8. One Writer At Reason Is Actually Able to Condemn Coercion and Witch-Finding Without Equivocation
    …Too many writers there seem more enamored of gay marriage than liberty itself. Check your masthead, guys — you’re not Gay Men’s Health Crisis. Your masthead identifies you as being in favor of liberty first and foremost….

    …The fake libertarians at Reason — which is most of them — seem to believe, with a couple of honorable exceptions, that this form of intimidation-by-mob-assault is actually healthy free expression — so long as it enforces the social codes and taboos they favor.

    I think Nick Gillespie would have quite another opinion of it were this form of mobbing directed at couples in gay marriages…

    1. I liked Matt’s article best too.

    2. “Reason.” A magazine for “liberty.”

      Right.

      Can I get a ruling? It’s Friday and I don’t have much else going on today anyway.

      1. I thought it was for Messicanz, pot and ass sex?

        Or alt-text (at least the online version…)

      2. Drink!

        1. Woo-hoo!

    3. I for one think they SHOULD change the name to “Gay Men’s Health Crisis.” Then I could tell people that though I am not gay, I just read it for the articles.

      That would be awesome!

      1. Articles? Who reads the articles? I’m here for the comments.

        1. Christ, you must never engage in foreplay…

        2. I’m just here for Lobster Girl.

          1. Lobster Girl….

            1. Happy (Good) Friday all: http://www.aeromental.net/2009…..a-lobster/

    4. this form of intimidation-by-mob-assault is actually healthy free expression

      I don’t think may were saying that it is healthy free expression. But unless it rises to the level of a criminal threat or assault it is free expression. Which I’m pretty sure should be protected whether healthy or not.

      1. An angry mob is an intended, implied threat.

        1. Why do you hate pro-life protests or Tea Party rallies?

          1. Yeah, Botard, Tea Party rallies are REAL intimidating events. Fucking terrifying when they pick up all their trash at the end and neatly deposit it in the appropriate receptacles…

            1. That’s true for the TP. Some pro-life rallies and protests do get pretty angry mob-ish.

            2. Did someone litter around the pizza joint?

              1. Does journo bullshit count as litter?

                1. Perhaps as Zeb says metaphorically…

          2. Showing up at someone’s business to protest them specifically is different that a public gathering, you idiot.

            I think Nick Gillespie would have quite another opinion of it were this form of mobbing directed at couples in gay marriages…

            1. Yeah, pro-life people never show up at someone’s business to protest what they’re doing there! lol

              1. LOLski!

              2. Killing babies is a sacred rite for some (just ask nancy pelosi) making money doing so is just a bonus.

                1. Haha, pro-life people can’t resist the ‘killing babies’ line.

          3. You got some links from rightwingwatch for us today?

            1. Maybe, I’ll check them later.

              Are you the link bias police? Because if so, you should be aware that there’s a lot more action on the ‘other side’ of town…

              1. Insert key
                Turn key
                Release key
                Watch the Botard shriek

                Endless fun

                1. You seem to be the shrieker here

                  1. I know you are but what am I?

                    Nanny, nanny boo boo
                    Stick your head in doo doo

                    /more popcorn

        2. Or a metaphor. A bunch of dickheads getting pissed of on the internet isn’t literally a mob. If they made serious threats, it’s still criminal, but it’s not quite torches and pitchforks.

      2. It did actually raise to the level of criminal threat, and a lot of the communication has been handed over to law enforcement.

        1. And I hope that they are appropriately punished if the accusations are true. But I don’t think most of the response rose to that level.

          I think it was all pretty shitty. Those people weren’t hurting anyone and hadn’t actually done anything discriminatory. Even a peaceful boycott or protest would have been pretty shitty, but it would have been free expression.

          1. “But I don’t think most of the response rose to that level.”

            Silly nuance Zeb. It’s much more fun to generalize the acts of some to those of many!

            1. It’s much more fun to generalize the acts of some to those of many!

              So you’re just hanging around to have fun. It makes so much sense now.

            2. Silly nuance Zeb. It’s much more fun to generalize the acts of some to those of many!

              Haha, pro-life people can’t resist the ‘killing babies’ line.

              1. Bo is the queen of collectivizing while decrying all the supposed collectivizing.

              2. Yeah, those are totally the same!

    5. From the comments:

      “The only difference between Big-L Losertarians and Post-Modern DemocRATs – the order of importance they place on the goals ofthe total subjugation of Christians and free drugs for all. ”

      THEY’RE ON TO US! *smokes crack while throwing Christians into a lions den.*

      1. That idiot commenter then gets called out by other commenters, and says the following:

        “Rachel, Rachel, Rachel. You’re so stupid you wouldn’t know stupid if you hit yourself on the head.

        Losertarian Goal 1A – Free drugs for all
        Losertarian Goal 1B – Elimniate Christianity

        Post-Modern DemocRAT Goal 1A – Eliminate Christianity
        Post-Modern DemocRAT Goal 1B – Free drugs for all”

        This guy…this guy knows the score.

        1. Lets compromise, free drugs for Christians.

          1. So…what kind of drugs? Asking for a … pastor.

            1. Anti anxiety drugs for the Catholics – we want the alter boys relaxed, don’t we?

              1. I said “pastor”. not “priest”, I…er, the pastor is Protestant!

          2. Sounds like a fair trade.

        2. Do you think he capitalize the RAT part of democrat as a statement or because he accidentally pressed the caps lock during his stroke that impaired his critical thinking ability?

          1. No, that’s an attempt at humor. And I’ll tell you what, it’s just as funny this time as it was the first hundred or so times I saw. Knee-slapping, goddam guffaw funny…. EVERY TIME!

        3. Wait, wait. What about Teh ButtSeks?

      2. Fuck free drugs. Pay for your own goddamn drugs, you fucking welfare queen mooch!

    6. “The fake libertarians at Reason — which is most of them — seem to believe, with a couple of honorable exceptions, that this form of intimidation-by-mob-assault is actually healthy free expression — so long as it enforces the social codes and taboos they favor.”

      Fake libertarians? Silly me, I thought being a libertarian meant you were against using coercive force but apparently it means also being against social movements that don’t use force. So I guess libertarians must be against much of the pro-life movement that tries to end abortion by non-coercive but ‘mob’ tactics like boycotts, letter writing/social media campaigns, sit-ins, etc.

      1. GOOD THING WE GOT A REAL LIBERTARIAN HERE TO CLEAR THAT UP!!
        Thanks, Bo, for the ruling. We are all wiser – and more classically liberal – now…

        1. Er, you do know I’m responding to a guy who called Nick and Reason out as fake libertarians?

        2. Why are you feeding that poor guy’s condition? If he won’t admit it and get treatment, the only proper response to clueless and contentious content is:

          BOOOOOOOOOOO CARRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

          Anything else just delays the inevitable.

          1. Repetitive performance of rituals can make the autistic person feel comfortable, but only in the short run Old Man. You should try to break out it.

            1. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

              CARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

          2. I understand before my time there was Donderooooooooooooooooo

            Around the time when I started visiting the site there was Gregoooooooooooooooooo

            Now there’s just Boooooooooooooooooooooo

            The names are getting shorter at least.

            1. DONDERRRRRROOOOOO is a perfectly acceptable substitute. Trying to seriously engage someone with a mental illness is just a bad idea all around.

              1. We shouldn’t talk to you? That seems harsh.

                1. I know you are but what am I, BO!!!!!

                2. Who is this “we” Bo? As far as I can tell the only “we” that you belong to are PB, Tony and Jackass Ace. Also I suspect most people here would prefer you not talk to them. But just to turn the key again……

                  BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
                  CARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

                  1. Deranged.

            2. There was always the “STFU, LoneWacko” also…

      2. This from the guy who thinks we’re all TEAM RED shills.

        1. Never said all, so thanks for illustrating my point.

          1. Split that hair, BO!! SPLIT IT!!!

            1. Is English your second language? Third?

              1. Its YOUR MOM’S second language!

      3. Silly me, I thought being a libertarian meant you were against using coercive force but apparently it means also being against social movements that don’t use force.

        Except that this social movement is hysterical over the idea of relaxing (not ending) government coercion in the name of equality.

        Other than that little detail it’s totally non coercive.

        1. “Except that this social movement is hysterical over the idea of relaxing (not ending) government coercion”

          So, like the pro-life movement, eh?

      4. Weigel worked here. QED.

    7. Question: Why don’t you fucking yokeltarians just go away and hang out at shitty yokeltarian sites like that? You hate us, we hate you. Go away.

      1. Shut up, Warty! Absolutely no one who criticizes Israel is actually anti-semetic!

      2. Because watching hysteric cosmos shit all over themselves is quite enjoyable.

        1. It seems like you fellows are the ones sh*tting all over yourselves about the supposed biases of the writers here.

          1. It seems like you fellows are the ones sh*tting all over yourselves about the supposed biases of the writers everyone here.

            1. You confuse the order of things, and thus your argument falters.

              Reason writer writes something. Yokeltarians whine. Poster here points out the whining. You say ‘aha, you’re whining!’ but is it whining to point out other’s whining?

              1. Turn key again
                Make more popcorn

                Priceless

                1. You sound deranged.

      1. !!!

        $542,212 just 30 minutes later.

        1. the internet taketh away, and the internet giveth…

        2. You know the most LOL part of that? The guy who set it up is apparently a black man (presuming the photo is legit). I wonder if any of the Upright Grievance Brigade is going to target him for Wrongthink as well.

        3. $763,742 as of 3:52 EDT

          Impressive!

      2. i need to open a pizza place and claim i do not serve ANYONE….imagine the money id make from crowd sourcing!!!!!

    8. The guy’s an idiot. And from what I recall, that’s always been the case.

  9. Sen. Mark Kirk (Ill.) became the fifth Repubican senator to signal he would vote to confirm Loretta Lynch as attorney general.

    Because what good GOP’er doesn’t love the asset forfeiture?

    1. Things are really changing now that the republicans have control of the Senate!

      1. I agree, WTF.
        They obviously got the message from the voters and now that they’re in control they’re curtailing invasive… um, restoring civil liberties… um, cutting spending… ah never mind.

      2. Yeah, this is even worse than I feared.

    2. While not a GOP’er, I do love it when the wife forfeits the asset.

    3. Jesus, what’s the point of having the power to NOT confirm people if you’re not going to use it? There should be a mandatory quota for each branch defying the other branches.

      1. It wouldn’t work. The executive would just commit defiance at thrice the rate and give their surplus to the other branches.

        1. Then, alas, all we have is the Censor. Thou art remov-ed.

  10. Feinstein’s (D-Calif.) solution to terrorists using the Internet is to ban things terrorists look for on the Internet.

    Porn? Good luck with *that*!

    1. Why doesn’t she just ban terrorism? Did she ever think of that?

      1. Simple. Elegant. Effective. I love it.

      2. Probably not, Fist, too many of her contributors make billions off the War on Terror (TM).
        Banning it simply won’t do.

    2. How else are they going to frame I mean catch terrorist without collecting theie browser history illegally?

  11. And the award for most dedicated student goes to… Senior builds hut and lives in the woods for EIGHT MONTHS as part of his research project on simple living

    Dylan Miller is a senior at Juniata College in Huntingdon, Pennsylvania
    He’s been living in a hut deep in the woods a half-hour walk from campus since September
    He has no plumbing or electricity in the hut and studies by lantern
    He hopes living in the hut will help him better understand Henry David Thoreau and Ralph Waldo Emerson

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..iving.html

    For the project to be approved, Miller had to follow a list of campus and state requirements, including having a portable toilet and cellphone.
    The campus police also have the authority to decide if weather conditions are too harsh for Miller to stay in the hut.

    Freedom means asking permission and obeying orders.

    1. Yep. I’m sure Thoreau was totally into asking permission from the proper authorities for his “adventures” (The Maine Woods is hilarious in its pants-shitting).

    2. deep in the woods a half-hour walk from campus

      Methinks their definition of ‘deep in the woods’ is different than most folks…

    3. Does his mom come out to bring him dinner and do his laundry? Because that’s important for the authentic Thoreau experience.

      1. Is his furniture made out of bags of dried lima beans?

  12. Spot the Not: LBJ

    1. Goddamnit, I’m so angry I could throw a midget through a pool hall window!

    2. Fuck your parliament and your constitution. America is an elephant. Cyprus is a flea. Greece is a flea. If these two fleas continue itching the elephant, they may just get whacked good.

    3. Making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg. It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else.

    4. These Negroes, they’re getting pretty uppity these days and that’s a problem for us since they’ve got something now they never had before, the political pull to back up their uppityness. Now we’ve got to do something about this, we’ve got to give them a little something, just enough to quiet them down, not enough to make a difference.

    5. Jerry Ford is so dumb he can’t fart and chew gum at the same time.

    6. Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There’s nothing to do but to stand there and take it.

    1. 1. I think dwarf tossing came into vogue post-LBJ.

    2. I am stealing ALL of these quotes (especially that one about negroes being uppity – I had never heard that!) but Imma guess 1. Seems TOO good to be true…

    3. I cannot *wait* to use #1 in casual conversation.

    4. Six?

      I have approximately the same chance of getting this correct as Fred Flintstone had at getting the cat to stay out for the night.

    5. 5, just because.

    6. And the not is #1. I forget where I heard it. Some novelty record ages ago.

      Prize for the winners

  13. ‘Let’s hope I don’t get punched’: Girl attempts to kiss random strangers in Grand Central Station – and captures the whole thing on camera

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem…..amera.html

    1. No arrest for sexual assault?

      1. You mean for the ones that kissed her?

        1. Grand Central isn’t a University.

    2. The video ends with the pair of total strangers passionately kissing in the station, a true movie-worthy moment.

      CHICK FLICK!

      1. That really is a difference between how most men and how most women would react. I wonder which is a mentally healthy option.

    3. Something similar to that happened to me on St. Patrick’s Day. When the woman was through kissing me, she ran away. I choose to believe that she was shy, and not that I am a bad kisser.

      1. Or maybe it was your massive boner.

        1. I was told that that is the reason why women run to you, not away from you.

          Perhaps I should be more skeptical about what I read around here….

          1. NO, NO, STEVE SMITH NOT LIE.

            RUN TO, RUN AWAY FROM, WHAT IS DIFFERENCE TO STEVE SMITH?

    4. That’s not Grand Central Station! That’s Grand Central Terminal!

      They lied to us! The Station is the underground section where all the tracks and subway platforms are. That is clearly the above ground terminal where the art and tan marble is.

  14. The Department of Homeland Security is trying again to set up a nationwide license plate tracking system.

    This whole thing stinks. Smells like ass, man.

    1. Tulpa loves the smell of that ass.

      1. If DHS doesn’t track every license plate all the time, food trucks will be everywhere!

        1. Exactly. They might even be… convenient to people working downtown! [gasp!]

          1. But…the restaurant owners, NOOOOOO!

            1. Their lower start-up cost are unfair!

          2. And impeding traffic by parking perpendicularly!

            1. And you can throw snowballs from them!

  15. The Department of Homeland Security is trying again to set up a nationwide license plate tracking system.

    They just got a new SQL server and they need data.

    1. The Department of Homeland Security is trying again to set up a nationwide license plate tracking system.

      They just got a new SQL server and they need data.

      So they are planning a sequel system?

  16. Australian woman’s breasts refuse to hide from Google Street View

    In its attempt to visually map every corner of this earth, Google Street View has captured some pretty remarkable sites?and wild sights, from curbside breakups to dressing-room hookups. Add to that list the breasts of 38-year-old Karen Davis, who ran out to flash a passing Google vehicle in TK.

    “I look at Google Maps a lot and I wanted to be on there and I thought this is the way to do it,” Davis told a local Australian paper.

    Luckily for Davis, Google’s pixelating algorithm, used for blurring faces and license plates, missed her voluptuous breasts. Google blurred Davis’s face but left her breasts uncensored.

    …insert John joke here…

    1. UPDATE: She’s been charged, and a DNA sample taken (!)

      1. They’re going to…. compare her DNA with the DNA from the photos?

        1. Presumably it will be put on the sex offenders’ DNA database

          1. Got it, thank you. That way if some poor guy is raped by a masked woman with big (I assume) hooters, they can prove it was her what done it? Brilliant! Keep up the good work, boys.

      2. I’d like to give her a charge, if you know what I mean…

        1. ^I came here for this comment.

    2. a passing Google vehicle in TK

      For those who don’t know, “TK” means “to come.” The editor forgot to finish the story.

      1. “And now you know. . .the rest of the story.”

    3. Having viewed the unpixilated version…

      Drop breast attack?

  17. Woman, 23, arrested for ‘slapping her 67-year-old boyfriend in the face so hard that she knocked out his contacts’
    Brittany Lyn Hilbert of Orlando, Florida was charged with domestic violence battery and battery of a person over 65-years-old
    Hilbert allegedly hit her boyfriend and knocked out one of his contact lenses during an argument over a friend he did not want her to see
    Hilbert told police her boyfriend body bumped her
    Hilbert has been arrested a total of five times and her charges include possession of pot and Xanax and also failure to appear in court

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..riend.html
    23 and 67?

    1. She looks like a homeless Lindsay Lohan. But perhaps I repeat myself.

    2. He’s having a lot of fun spending what his kids foolishly hope to inherit.

    3. It’s Florida Woman.

    4. battery of a person over 65-years-old

      What, are you supposed to ask for ID first?

  18. Spot the Not: Ronald Reagan

    1. Within the covers of the Bible are the answers for all the problems men face.

    2. If we ever forget that we are One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under.

    3. My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes.

    4. This guy is so far out in the environmental extreme we’ll be up to our necks in owls and outta work for every American.

    5. I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.

    6. Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do.

    1. Imma go 4

      1. Winner! George HW Bush said #4.

        your prize

        Reagan said trees cause more pollution because they release chemicals in hot weather that help make smog. However, the trees alone are not enough.

        Another fun fact: Indians who lived in what is now LA also had smog:

        When the Spanish explorer Juan Rodriguez Cabrillo sailed in 1542 past the coastal plain of what became Los Angeles, he was so struck by the dark haze from the Gabrieleno Indian campfires hovering over the mountain-ringed basin that he christened it the Bay of Smokes.

        http://www.nytimes.com/1998/04…..s-not.html

        The smog came from campfire smoke trapped by a thermal inversion.

        1. I’M ON FIRE TODAY!!! TWO FOR TWO!! WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!

    2. 6 – wasn’t that said by James Watt when he took over the EPA?

      1. Actually it WAS said by Reagan, but IN CONTEXT what he said is that the EPA considers carbon dioxide a pollutant so that by that definition trees are bigger polluters than cars, becasue they give it off when they are cut down or something.

        You only ever hear this quote out of context in an effort to discredit Reagan as a simpleton.
        Truth is usually more complicated…

    3. Cinco.

    4. #3 I am pretty sure that he did say #5

    5. 6.

      I’m thinking that was some other GOP pol.

  19. Fast Food Workers Continue To Protest After A ‘Weak’ Raise, Demand $15 An Hour And A Union

    http://detroit.cbslocal.com/20…..imum-wage/
    I haven’t seen a raise in going on four years now. Ungrateful asses.

    1. Raise: The act of getting a new job with an employer willing to pay more for your skills

  20. Sen. Mark Kirk (Ill.) became the fifth Repubican senator to signal he would vote to confirm Loretta Lynch as attorney general.

    FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME, IT’S NOT THE FAMED COUNTRY SINGER, MARK.

    1. But ‘Coal Miner’s Daughter’ is his favorite movie!

  21. Nature’s strangest sex rituals revealed: From an octopus with a detachable penis to porcupines that pee to woo
    Argonaut octopus has a detachable penis that the female can save
    Creature was voted to have the strangest sex in a Society of Biology poll
    Banana slugs can mate with themselves and porcupines wee to woo
    Sex can be painful because the males and females have different aims

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sci…..ealed.html
    Did someone say detachable penis?

    1. Leopard slug mating is pretty wild:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wG9qpZ89qzc

      The mating habits of Limax maximus are considered unusual among slugs: the hermaphrodite slugs court, usually for hours, by circling and licking each other. After this, the slugs will climb into a tree or other high area and then, entwined together, lower themselves on a thick string of mucus, evert their white translucent mating organs (penises) from their gonopores (openings on the right side of the head), entwine these organs, and exchange sperm. Both participants will later lay hundreds of eggs.

      Top that, Sugarfree!

      1. Top that, Sugarfree!

        Don’t test him. Seriously, just don’t.

        1. Who can be grosser than nature?

          1. Um…………you?

            1. I never came up with entwining head penises.

              1. But you will, you will.

              2. Just entwining penii as heads?

                1. I take it then that those slugs would struggle to find pizza for their wedding in Indiana, then…

    2. A classic…

      “I can leave it at home when I think its going to get me in trouble”

      1. Yeah, I thought that was witty.

    3. Twisting their slimy bodies together, the large slugs dangle upside down from a glittering rope of mucus, slowly rotating. Then, out of the molluscs’ heads emerge large, blue, tube-like growths that wrap and writhe around each other.
      If you come across this weird sight, you’d be forgiven for thinking the slug’s wriggling blue protrusions were some sort of parasite, or even emerging young.
      But what you’d actually be witnessing is a mating ritual of a pair of amorous leopard slugs, and the large blue tubes that grow out of the right side of the slugs’ heads are their immense penises.

      http://www.bbc.com/earth/story…..d-slug-sex

      1. What a bunch of dickheads.

      2. At first I thought I was reading some SugarFree…

      3. HAWT!

        1. I sense a new Warty Hugeman chapter in the making.

          1. Warty Hugeman and the Glittering Rope of Mucus

          2. With special guest star “D. Weigel”?

  22. The perfect body? It comes in ALL shapes and sizes… Curvy Kate mocks Victoria’s Secret ad campaign with plus-size spoof
    Victoria’s Secret caused huge consumer backlash with ‘The Perfect Body’
    Campaign was amended after Change.com petition started by students
    D+ bra brand Curvy Kate spoof ad using top 10 Star In A Bra contenders
    Competition for ‘real women’ finds their next lingerie model each year

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem…..-Body.html
    Ahoy all you chubby chasers! You know who you are!

    1. Meh the blonde three from the right end is pretty hot. Not all of them are a total loss.

      1. I was thinking the same thing.

        1. A couple of them are past “plus sized”, and the tats are a total turn off for me. The one who looks like Bea Arthur is a total turn on, tho.

          1. Finally, someone who shares my tastes.

            1. Thank you for being a friend.

              1. It looks like a line-up for a women’s power lifting competition, heavyweight class.

                +1, would ‘bate to, again.

    2. I like how “real woman” means a woman who is out of shape and overweight. Women who keep themselves in good shape are somehow not “real”.

  23. A Tax Office bureaucrat claims she was treated with sarcasm, aggression and bias by the Administrative Appeals Tribunal when she appealed a decision to refuse her a workers compensation-funded breast reduction

    more

    1. Noooooo, sarcasm?

  24. …saying they want Congress to play a role, something President Obama said he welcomed.

    The role Obama held when he was in Congress. “Present.”

  25. Two New York City women accused of planning ‘terrorist attack’

    Two New York City women have been arrested and accused of planning to carry out a “terrorist attack” in the United States, according to a federal criminal complaint made public on Thursday.

    Noelle Velentzas, 28, and Asia Siddiqui, 31, plotted to hit police, government or military targets based on their “violent jihadist beliefs,” according to the complaint filed in U.S. District Court in Brooklyn.

    It said Velentzas and Siddiqui were conspiring “to prepare an explosive device to be detonated in a terrorist attack in the United States.”

    1. My problem with this accusation is that these womens’ “crimes” are essentially free speech and free association, pretty much choreographed by the FBI…

      1. When you’re AQ,
        You’re AQ all the way
        From your first “allahu akbar”
        To your last dyin’ day.

        When you’re AQ,
        If the spit hits the fan,
        You got shaheed around,
        You’re a tribal ma’am!

        You’re never alone,
        You’re never disconnected!
        You’re home with your own:
        When company’s expected,
        You’re well protected!

        Then you are set
        With a capital A,
        Which you’ll never forget
        Till they cart you away.
        When you’re AQ,
        You stay AQ!

  26. Only the LA Times could suck so much government cock:

    http://www.latimes.com/opinion…..olumn.html

    Money quote:

    Its technologists have proposed new enforcement projects that would collect $8 to $13 for every dollar spent.

    “That’s a return on investment that private businesses would kill for,” notes John Hudak, who studies the management of federal bureaucracies for the Brookings Institution.

    AND THE GOVERNMENT CAN KILL FOR IT!!

    And in fact they regularly do. Don’t forget – just like the Dept of Ag and Dept of Ed – the IRS also carries guns, badges and has a SWAT team.

  27. Germanwings Co-Pilot Set Plane to Go Faster Before Crash

    “An initial reading indicates that the pilot present in the cockpit used automatic pilot to put the plane into a descent toward an altitude of 100 feet, and then several times during the course of the descent, the pilot modified the setting of the automatic pilot to increase the speed of the descent,” BEA said in the statement.

    1. He would’ve made a good Fed Chairman.

      1. So far, so good?

    2. You can see that data on Flightaware. The plane descended at a not-unheard-of rate, but the speed kept increasing.

      1. The plane descended at a not-unheard-of rate, but the speed kept increasing.

        g

    1. The comments are depressing.

    2. What the fuck is a penalty rate?

      “Look at you, with all that business and customers flush with cash ready to give it to you. We can’t allow that to happen.” Something like that?

  28. The Coast Guard found a man lost at sea for 66 days after a German tanker reported seeing him.

    He chose the sea over the Germans.

    1. So did the passengers aboard the Vera.

  29. 9 New York Doctors Are Accused of Defrauding Medicaid Using Homeless People

    “Free sneakers, shoes and boots today,” Bernard Rorie shouted, standing outside a soup kitchen in East New York, Brooklyn, where he was being recorded by investigators

    Mr. Rorie was recruiting homeless people, prosecutors said, and whoever had a valid Medicaid card would be packed into a van and sent to medical clinics around New York City. There, after hours of unnecessary tests and fake diagnoses, the homeless people would be sent off with sneakers ? selected from stacks of shoeboxes in the clinics’ basements. The doctors, staff members and billing specialists, meanwhile, would rack up hundreds or thousands of dollars per recruit in false Medicaid claims, prosecutors said.

      1. Well, DUH. The first rule of liberalism. If the government had MORE control, this obviously WOULDN’T have happened!

        Tony and Shreek actually believe that.

  30. 3 in 4 Refugees On Food Stamps, Many Using Other Forms Of Public Assistance

    Refugees from Africa and the Middle East were the heaviest users of cash assistance at 61.9 percent and 68.3 percent respectively. Latin American refugees only used cash assistance at a rate of 8.1 percent and South Asia used about 42.7 percent. Data for Europe and the former Soviet Union was not available.

    The use of food stamps ? or the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) ? also varied with 88.9 percent of refugees from Africa, 91.4 percent of Middle Eastern refugees, the Middle East, 72.9 percent of South Asia, and 36.7 percent of Latin American refugees using the benefit.

    Overall, according to the report just 50 percent of refugee households in the five year window were self-sufficient.

    1. reparations for centuries of priviledge

      /WEB DuBoys2Men

  31. Now this is a movie review

    John Wick is a great cinematic achievement and if you disagree you’re an idiot. Gary Ogden predicts the

    resurrection of Keanu Reeves thanks to this year’s first unmissable dead dog vengeance movie.

    1. That movie actually was pretty fantastic for what it was. A mindless action movie.

      1. Agreed, and it came out LAST year, Furry.

        1. Everything is reverse in Australia from how their toilets flush to the fact that they write reviews after movies leave the theater.

      2. I got the Blu-ray from the library with low expectations and ended up really liking it.

        1. The Man From Tai Chi, while not as good as John Wick, is also a pretty watchable martial arts film. Keanu still gots it, is what I am saying.

  32. Poll: Even Jeb Bush Supporters Not ‘Very Enthusiastic’ about Candidacy

    A Washington Post/ABC News poll found that only 12% of Bush supporters are actually “very enthusiastic” about his candidacy while a whopping 32% of his own supporters are either “not so enthusiastic” or “not enthusiastic at all” about supporting him. Fifty-six percent of his own supporters are “somewhat enthusiastic” about supporting him.

    The poll also discovered that 53% of Americans view Bush unfavorably while only 33% view him favorably. Bush, though, leads the GOP field in the national poll with 20%. He is followed by Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) at 13% and Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker at 12%. And 33% think Bush will win the nomination regardless of which candidate they support while 12% think Cruz will.

    1. “But it’s my Turn!”

      /Jeb

      1. My guess is that the only reason he’s even running is that daddy told him he has a responsibility to try and clean up his stupid brother’s messes.

  33. Pretty sure this is a photo of invisible furry hand.

    Possibly NSFW. (Even though she’s *invisible*.)

    1. I have done many stupid things. Nudity in Canberra in autumn is not one of them.

      I did go to that exhibition a few months ago. It gave me a mild headache

      1. Autumn. Listen to this nutty broad, talking about autumn in April.

        1. I blame the Antipodes, messes with the mind.

    2. Australia looks pretty racist to me.

    3. lol like any women under 60 would attend that.

  34. Moths Fondly Remember Plant Species Where They Lost Their Virginity

    Think real estate decisions are hard for humans? Imagine if the house you lived in were also your singles bar, your babies’ nursery, and your shelter from large animals trying to eat you. And, while you were growing up, your food source, as you nibbled away its floors and shingles.

    Moths face all these pressures each time they settle down on a plant. That may be why at least one type of moth uses pleasant associations to help with its choices. The plant species where an individual loses its virginity becomes a favorite.

    1. Damn poison ivy. Long story.

      1. I got 3 minutes. Go on.

      2. One camping lesson I never forgot – check the plants nearby if using leaves as emergency toilet paper.

        1. And you lost your virginity?

          +1, STEVE SMITH APPROVES

    2. “The plant species where an individual loses its virginity becomes a favorite.”

      What kind of anthropomorphic shit is this? Moths are all specific to certain plant species. It has nothing to do with fondness. It’s a fuckin’ bug. It has to do with finding a niche so you aren’t crowded out by other species.

      If you grow much stuff it is easy to notice how each plant species attracts specific species of moth and butterfly and other insects.

      If you have ever grown tomatoes you know this guy:

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Actias_luna

  35. Except for rich, Americans’ incomes fell last year

    In fresh data that adds fire to a growing debate over income inequality, the department said that Americans on average saw income decline for the second straight year in the 12 months to June 2014.

    The average pre-tax income fell 0.9 percent from the same period a year earlier, to $64,432.

    But broken down into quintiles, those in the top 20 percent of incomes saw their money stream grow by 0.9 percent to $166,048 on average.

    1. Funny, when my royalties were added to my stagnant salary, I broke even with inflation.

      1. when my royalties were added

        Is “Bad Boyz Get Spanked” still selling?

  36. Florida killer guilty of murdering Orlando roommate, raping corpse

    The murder didn’t seem to faze him. Santana stole Fazio’s car and money, and then went for a haircut when it was over. He reportedly bantered casually with barbers before the cops found him.

    Roche gave Santana two life sentences for the murder of Fazio and attempted murder of the second roommate.

    He was also found guilty of cruelty to animals, abuse of a dead human body and two counts of grand theft.

    1. Yeah, I’d say this guy needs a pyche ward, but I’m fairly certain he’s just beyond help.

    2. Finally, the real gay cultural marxist fag agenda has been unveiled! If only the Christian property owner had been able to keep this murderous butt pirate from renting an apartment!

      1. Murderous butt pirates

        Good name for a shoegaze metal band?

        1. Didn’t they open for Ween on their last tour?

  37. A former Florida teacher accused of repeatedly having sex with at least three students has pleaded guilty to three dozen criminal counts.

    Jennifer Fichter, 30, was set to attend a pre-trial hearing in Polk County Court Thursday morning, but instead she pleaded guilty to all 37 counts of unlawful sexual contact with a minor.

    Each charge carries a maximum of 15 years in prison. Fichter’s sentencing is scheduled for July 2.

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..z3WFeJ6CYr
    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

    1. the thing about that women is she has lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eye. On the other hand I can’t really blame the “kid”.

      1. I’d churn that butter all day long…

    2. BBBUUUUUUUTTTTPPPPPLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUGGG

    3. So, Alaska’s Most Famous Colon Cork, where’s all the crowing about today’s awesome NFP print? Or the equally fantastical revisions (-69,000 jobs)?

  38. Raise the wage: Paul Krugman shatters the myth that we can’t afford to boost workers’ pay

    While free market fundamentalists might retort that global competition will sink firms that boost worker pay, Krugman responds by noting that most American workers are “employed in service industries that aren’t exposed to international trade.”

    What about technology? Isn’t it an unassailable maxim of modern economics that we can afford to pay larger wages only to highly skilled workers ? ones who can’t be replaced by machines? As Mike Konczal wrote recently, technology is but a small part of the larger inequality phenomenon. The key factors, he pointed out, include tax policy, the financialization of the American economy, deunionization, and the conscious political choice not to raise the minimum wage.

    What’s more, Krugman observes, “Workers are people; relations between employers and employees are more complicated than simple supply and demand.” This truism is borne out in empirical evidence, with comparisons of states that raised their minimum wages with neighboring states that didn’t showing that higher pay does not mean fewer jobs.

    1. relations between employers and employees are more complicated than simple supply and demand.

      Yes, my employers hate their employees and want us to suffer as much as possible. But then again, we’re not a profitable institution, we’re a government.

      1. Most of your colleagues are ingrates who treat your bosses (the people, not the politicians) like people you’re entitled to take as much as you want from.

    2. Is there anything served at McDonald’s that couldn’t be dispensed out of a slightly more fancy vending machine? The fries might be the trickiest thing.

    3. Who the fuck is “we” he speaks of? Has Krugman ever run a business or had to make a payroll?

    4. What an amazing man: he shatters an economic ‘myth’ without using a single number, merely rhetorical assertions. Fucking cast iron genius.

  39. Gun nuts’ latest victory: Sam Brownback signs law allowing concealed carry without a permit

    Live in Kansas? Want to protect yourself against anyone who might come for your tax cut? Worried someone will try to fight you for the last remaining book in the state? Well, hoo-boy, do I ever have some good news for you!

    As of July 1, Kansans will be able to carry concealed weapons without having to actually obtain a concealed carry firearms permit. They can thank their good and godly GOP governor, Sam Brownback, who signed the no-permit-no-problem legislation today.

    Much to the delight of the National Rifle Association, Kansas will join Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Vermont, and Wyoming in allowing this freewheeling state of affairs.

    1. Worried someone will try to fight you for the last remaining book in the state?

      How is it socially acceptable to say things like this?

      1. Jeez Warty, it’s not othering if Salon does it

        1. This tedious Aussie is your fault. YOUR FAULT.

          1. He had his moments.

            “Your First Amendment lets me say ‘Your Second Amendment sucks dicks!'”

          2. They wouldn’t be peeing in his pocket quite so much if they knew his usual jokes are just a bit rapey

          3. and your culpability for linking to vox?

      2. I always laugh at progs who believe people out in the middle of nowhere don’t read. What else do you think there is to do?

        The best read people I know are my aunt and uncle who live in the woods in Wisconsin because they have enormous amounts of time to read and it’s not like their attention is being taken up by their neighbors. I’m willing to bet the average old person in a rural area has read more broadly than some hipster writing for Salon.

        1. Forget the mistaken assumptions. What really appalls me is the simple racism on display here. These same people will argue that race is primarily a social phenomenon, not biological, and I agree with them. Explain to me, please, because I’m not that smart – what’s the difference between this member of the Good Thinking class sneering at his lessers and some moron at at Stormfront saying that darkies aren’t smart enough to rule themselves?

          1. Well the Good Thinking class pay to ensure that the stupidity and/or ignorance among blacks remains fully subsidized, at home and abroad.

          2. This is regional rather than by skin color and progressives believe it’s okay to sneer at someone based on the region they live in. They don’t even live in Brooklyn, yo!

          3. Nothing. The only difference is these people think it is okay when they do it. Of course the guys on Stormfront think that too.

      3. What do you want to bet that the writer of such disparaging commentary lives either on the South West, North East coast, or the leftist island of Chicago? Their commentary is always dripping with contempt for flyover country, a place which by every metric of freedom, is better and therefore more contemptible from a fascist point-of-view.

        1. Ironicly, they sold me on Kansas as a place to live. Low taxes, gun rights, and few progressive assholes. It sounds wonderful.

        2. People on the coasts think Chicago is flyover country too.

          1. Chicago is hosting the NFL draft this year, so that is how you know the sports world is finally taking it seriously.

            1. And two of the top picks aren’t even showing up…

    2. WILD WESY ALL OVER AGAIN!

      Also, New Hampshire has a similar bill working its way to the governor’s veto.

      1. Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Vermont, and Wyoming are well known for their high murder rates. It’s practically a death sentence to live in those states!

    3. this freewheeling state of affairs.

      Free?! Heaven forfend!

    4. +1 What’s the Matter with Kansas?

      The trick never ages; the illusion never wears off. Vote to stop abortion; receive a rollback in capital gains taxes. Vote to make our country strong again; receive deindustrialization. Vote to screw those politically correct college professors; receive electricity deregulation. Vote to get government off our backs; receive conglomeration and monopoly everywhere from media to meatpacking. Vote to stand tall against terrorists; receive Social Security privatization. Vote to strike a blow against elitism; receive a social order in which wealth is more concentrated than ever before in our lifetimes, in which workers have been stripped of power and CEOs are rewarded in a manner beyond imagining.

      Thomas Frank registers at nearly 100 milihedges on the Smugter Scale.

      1. There was a great review of that book in City Journal where they pointed out that if you adjust for cost of living Kansas is well into the top half of incomes per capita and that they’ve also weathered the last several recessions far better than the rest of the country.

        That was before the 2008 recession too, when Kansas did far better than most of the rest of the country. But Kansas doesn’t vote the way Frank would prefer, so he blatantly lies and pretends the state is some sort of dystopia.

        1. I’ve always wondered about this: why would you ‘adjust for the cost of living’ if what you’re interested in is something like productivity? Of course in places where people have more money things tend to cost more. That doesn’t make the people there less productive than people elsewhere.

          1. You adjust for costs because it tells you the quality of life of the people living in an area, which is what’s under discussion. People in New York are paid more partially because of how expensive New York is, but their quality of life isn’t necessarily any better than someone living in Kansas with far lower nominal income because the cost of living in Kansas is so much lower.

            It’s not about ‘productivity,’ it’s about coming to conclusions about quality of life. Frank’s entire argument is that EVIL RETHUGLICANS have tricked the easily duped morons of Kansas into voting against their best interests, but if Kansans actually have a pretty high quality of life, then his thesis clearly isn’t right. That’s why you have to adjust for cost of living.

            1. I get that a person making X in a place where costs are higher can get the same amount of stuff and lifestyle that a person making less than X where the costs are lower, I guess I just think that other than taxes, costs are just going to be higher where people make more, and that making more means something important too.

              1. Sure but making more doesn’t necessarily mean your living differently or better either. Also it leads to another question: how much is the cost of living driven up by gov. intervention into the various markets in the area you reside and how much of the increase is driven by real market forces.

                1. Well real is a dumb term but, I guess just market forces.

                  1. If the state reduces taxes the stuff being taxed immediately becomes cheaper for consumers.

                    If you do the Econ 101 exercise for how generalized supply vs demand curves change when the state reduces taxes, the supply curve shifts upward, and the market clearing point is a lower price for consumers, a higher price for producers, and an increased quantity being produced and consumed.

                    The result, marginal businesses become more profitable, and consumers have more money to spend on less urgent/desired needs.

                    These are all first order effects. If one were to slash taxes and stop maintaining roads, for example, the decline in infrastructure would negatively impact economic activity. On the other hand, if the slashing of taxes were to result in some charitable activity, like the closure of state parks, the result would be economic expansion.

                    Generally.

                2. I agree, that’s why I separated out the taxes. The bigger the goose the more the government seems to be intent on burdening if not killing it. But the big goose means something I think (man, that sounds silly, but I’m too tired to rewrite it…).

                  1. Taxes aren’t the only thing though look at how zoning impacts housing and minimum wages impact the service industry.

              2. making more means something important too

                Making more only means whatever “more” buys. What else could it possibly mean?

                1. Yes, I see your point, but for one thing about what it could possibly mean is that one is producing more productive or valued work (the things that the New Yorker produces are of course not just sold in NY just as with the man in Kansas, the fact that the former rakes in more than the latter might mean something). I guess one could also think about the fact that if the NYer travelled to Wichita he could live much larger the Wichitian could on a visit to NYC.

                  1. IMO the only really relevant thing about doing well somewhere with a high vs. low cost of living is that the person making bank in a high-cost place can better afford the kind of luxury goods that have a worldwide market without price variation (or with very limited, tariff-based variation). So the affluent guy in Kansas can’t buy Hermes but the guy living similarly in Manhattan maybe can.

                    As far as productivity, I submit the number of people who GAF is very low. How productive are you vs. how well do you live–vast majority are going to care infinitely more about the latter.

              3. You have the causality backwards.

                Places have a high cost of living not because of the wages paid but because of the geographic constraints of living there and because of the level of government taxation.

                Do you have to make houses winter proof, do they need to resist hurricanes or tornadoes, how much land is available for expansion in close proximity to employment centers is there, how far are you from a port or rail nexus, how does the stock of housing compare to the population, how far does food need to be shipped to reach there.

                Wages are then forced higher by the high cost of living

      2. receive deindustrialization. Vote to screw those politically correct college professors; receive electricity deregulation. Vote to get government off our backs; receive conglomeration and monopoly everywhere

        The derp is strong with this one. So deregulation=monopoly, how the fuck does that work? “Getting government off our backs” is bad? Nevermind that “getting government off our backs” precludes support for monopolies, that is unless you have an elementary school understanding of anti-trust laws and the whole concept of monopolies to begin with.

    5. My favorite headline on this:

      “New Kansas Law Allows Residents to Carry a Concealed Gun Without Permit or Training”

      Without permit or training? Oh noes!

      1. I’ll bet money the average citizen carrying a gun will still be a better shot than cops and without any shadow of a doubt, regular jackoffs with a gun will be an order of magnitude more judicious in their use of that weapon than cops are.

        1. Got my first rifle when I was 16. I somehow managed not to break into people’s homes and shot them or their dogs. I’m lucky I guess. Wish these cops could be as lucky as I was as a 16 year old.

          1. Of course. This is a serious flaw in the mindset of progressives, that there always exist ‘experts’ from whom one must get ‘certification’ to do something or disaster ensues. My dad taught me to handle a firearm when I was a kid. He learned from his dad. I’ve got years of such ‘training.’ Why in the world would I need a six week class from an ‘expert?’

        2. Four months at the academy responsibility for one’s actions

          1. Greater than! I forgot! Stupid stupidhead.

        3. Of course, because regular people are held personally accountable for their actions. They can never have the benefit of “procedures were followed, furtive movement, good shoot”.

    6. Want to protect yourself against anyone who might come for your tax cut?

      They can’t help embedding the idea that a tax cut is something “given” to you–that what you have earned is actually just something the government lets you keep.

    7. Kansas will join Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Vermont, and Wyoming

      Also known as the “Death Belt”?

      /ProgDerp

      1. Hey man, Wyoming and Vermont are fucking killing fields.

    8. As for those who may prefer that their armed neighbors at least have proper credentials before loading up: well, tough titty.

      Because, of course, the trigger-happy psychos the non-‘gun nuts’ so fear were waiting for government permission to carry their concealed weapons to the site of their next massacre. With that petty legal hurdle cleared, it’s everybody out of the water!

  40. Just as we were recently warned: the Obama economy still absolutely sucks and a pathetic 126,000 jobs were created in March, half of what was initially expected. Sorry Weigel!

    1. but BBBOOOOOSSSSHHHHH!

    2. That’s a VICTORY for Weigel!
      10 bucks says he pops up and starts toting the 5.5% “unemployment rate” as a victory, too…

  41. Australian prostitues take selfies to celebrate Pretty Woman’s 25th anniversary, pearl clutching ensues

    The Pretty Woman blog post had originally appeared on the site of a Missouri-based Christian group, Exodus Cry, which says it is committed to “abolishing sex slavery”. The article’s author, Laila Mickelwait claimed that the film had lured young women into prostitution and subjected them to a life of abuse and trauma.
    She told BBC Trending that she stands by what she wrote despite the sex workers’ campaign, and that legalised prostitution creates an environment where illegal sex trafficking can then occur. “Just because there’s a handful of women and men who are posting pictures on Twitter saying this is an empowering job doesn’t make it true about the industry,” she said. “They have a voice but they’re the voice of a very small minority who have the privilege of getting on Twitter and being able to post those kinds of pictures”.

    Privilege!

    1. Not just any privilege, Twitter privilege.

      Because the 3 minutes it takes to set up a free twitter account means that only the rich of access.

    2. The ultimate genetic privilege is to be born an attractive woman. Feminism, in many ways, is an effort to end that privilege while pretending otherwise.

  42. Meet Flakka, The Dangerous New Drug Sweeping Florida

    “On a scale of one to 10, Flakka is a 12,” Lt. Dan Zsido of the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office told 10 News Tampa Bay Sarasota.

    “My Friend Flakka”

    1. Fake Scandal!!!

    2. The new PCP?

    3. “On a scale of one to 10, Flakka is a 12.”

      Sign me up! Can’t be as bad as Krokodil, right?

  43. In a conference call with members of right-wing pastor E.W. Jackson’s STAND America that was posted online today, former senator Rick Santorum disputed the existence of the separation of church and state in the U.S. Constitution, dismissing it as a Communist idea that has no place in America.

    A listener on the call told Santorum that “a number of the things that the far left, a.k.a. the Democrat [sic] Party, and the president is pushing for and accomplishing actually accomplishes a number of the tenets of ‘The Communist Manifesto,’ including the amnesty, the elevation of pornography, homosexuality, gay marriage, voter fraud, open borders, mass self-importation of illegal immigrants and things of that nature.” The likely presidential candidate replied that “the words ‘separation of church and state’ is not in the U.S. Constitution, but it was in the constitution of the former Soviet Union. That’s where it very, very comfortably sat, not in ours.”

    http://churchandstate.org.uk/2…..rican-one/

    1. Well, you’re on “CHRISTFAGS!!!!” right now, which is a change from your recent trend of only going with “BUSHPIGS!!!!”

      1. Porn, homos, and illegals are for commies!

        1. Who the fuck are you talking to, Wiegel? The voices in your head again?

        2. Don’t you think it’s about time that you finished your crappy rock and roll book?

          I’m telling you, it’s only a matter of time before the publisher decides to just cut bait on your dumb ass.

        3. BBBUUUUUTTTTPPPPLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUG

    2. This isn’t the first time Santorum has said that, he’s pretty far out there.

        1. Semicolons help you connect closely related ideas

          One must first have ‘ideas’.

    3. BBBBBUUUUUUUUUTTTTTPPPPLLLLLLUUUUUUGGGGG

  44. The Department of Homeland Security is trying again to set up a nationwide license plate tracking system.

    Fuck license plates.

    1. Wouldn’t that cause unwanted bleeding?

    2. Literally impossible.

      1. I have an idea; just roll the plate into a tube, after covering with latex?

        1. I tried to bold the semicolon for ya.

    3. fuck da police!

    4. Indeed. All they are good for is collecting taxes and tracking people’s movements.

  45. Angels’ Albert Pujols gives touching gift to Downs syndrome brother of Dodger outfield Joc Pederson

    Pujols and Joc Pederson had not met before March 16, the night of the screening in Phoenix. They both play professional baseball and share a market, and people in the business tend to be acquainted. But Pujols is 35, three MVPs and 520 home runs into this and headed for the Hall of Fame, while Pederson is 22, has 28 days of service time…

    So it was something of a surprise that night when Pujols worked his way through the crowd, found the Pedersons ? father Stu, mother Shelly, Joc and Champ ? and introduced himself. Champ was beside himself.

    “You’re my favorite player,” he said, well within earshot of Joc.

    He asked for a jersey.

    Pujols laughed.

    The Pedersons knew The Pujols Foundation, knew the work it did for people ? children in particular ? with Down syndrome and other disabilities. Champ did too. From that, they figured Pujols must be a good man. Champ is a pretty good judge of these things.

    “Champ’s been wanting to meet him for a long time,” Joc said.

    Three days later, the Dodgers hosted the Angels at Camelback Ranch. Pujols was at first base. Pederson subbed into the game as a pinch-runner at first.

    “I have Champ’s jersey,” Pujols told him. “I’ll be sure it gets to you.”

    Awesome.

    1. Da Hood: Beeotch

  46. In case no one posted it yet, here it is. It does appear that all Muslim bakeries are willing to bake gay wedding cakes. Shocking. You have to scroll down the page to see the video…

    Muslim Gay Cake

    1. Gotta love Crowder – says what everyone knows but nobody in the media will say.

  47. Barack Obama: Savior of 50000 lives thanks to healthcare law

    The president’s statement could have been a bit more precisely worded to reflect some of the uncertainty in the estimate: “likely a major reason why we’ve seen an estimated 50,000 fewer preventable patient deaths in hospitals.”

    But that’s a relatively minor quibble. The numbers might seem large, but the research seems solid, according to experts we consulted, and it is based on a review of an extensive database. The results likely reflect work that predated the ACA but at the same time the ACA has spurred even greater cooperation among hospitals. Since the president is using a figure more than a year old, it is likely understated ? unless, of course, the interim number for 2013 turns out to be overstated. We will keep a watch on that.

    But in the meantime, the president’s claim appears worthy of the elusive Geppetto Checkmark.

    1. .”He is not the Word made flesh, but the triumph of word over flesh, over color, over despair.”

      actual Ezra Klein quote about the Obamessiah

    2. unless, of course, the interim number for 2013 turns out to be overstated

      Like if government numbers got “unexpectedly” revised down?

      1. Yes, trumpeting a ‘number’ that you don’t even actually believe is real, and openly stating that you are aware of this.

        Why even both with any pretending to reality instead of just jumping right into the hagiography?

        You are just the kind of people who make life impossible for professionals. Miracle, Miracle! That’s all we ever get out of your smelly mouths. Because you blackmailed one Christ into showing off once in awhile you think all others are suckers for that kind of showmanship. Well, you’ve met your match in this generation. Turn left, turn right, turn right about again, you’ll find everyone you meet is more than a match for you.

    3. Gotta love all the passive-voiced qualifiers they employed there.

  48. Yasiel Puig fine after crashing into Howe Kendrick chasing pop fly

    Christ, I’m going to see them play the Diamondbacks in Phoenix next Saturday and I’m already worried Puig will kill himself before. Kibby would not be happy since he’s the only reason she’s interested.

    1. Harper does the same kind of stupid shit, but he’s gotten a lot better. Puig will learn eventually.

      1. Harper is turning into a bit of a knucklehead. His little trick where he tries to bait the running into trying for second by dogging it going after a hit is bush league and is going to bite him in the ass at the worse time. I wish he would just shut up and play hard.

        1. he generally does. But I believe the event your referring to happened in spring training, not in a real game, and he got chewed out for it by the manager. Everything Harper does is magnified about a million times and blown completely out proportion. Not that I believe he’s above criticism or that he doesn’t benefit in the end from that kind of attention, but it does get a little ridiculous. Puig is treated the same way by the national media.

    2. Got tickets for Opening Day at Dodger Stadium. I an fucking STOKED!!!

      1. Dodgers last won a World Series when Reagan was President. Coincidence? I believe not.

        Maybe this year they won’t fall at the first hurdle and maybe Kershaw won’t get used like a toilet in the playoffs. But that’s not the way to bet.

  49. OT: tickets to a Red Wings game on Sunday, and I’m getting a little excited.

    1. Excited about going to Detroit? Maybe you’ll be one of the lucky ones that doesn’t get killed and dumped in a vacant lot.

      1. I may actually get a VIP treatment, so we will see. That’s what has me excited, potential locker room (pant pant) visit.

        Oh yeah, that and professional hockey. Yup.

  50. David Sirota finds Martin O’Malley not left enough because:
    ” former Maryland Gov. Martin O’Malley, has been sounding anti-Wall Street themes, but only after finishing up two terms in office that saw his state plow more public pension money into Wall Street firms, costing taxpayers hundreds of millions of dollars in financial fees.”
    http://www.sfgate.com/opinion/…..176080.php

    Yes, folks, that nasty guy could have saved all that dough and put it the pension funds UNDER A MATTRESS!
    The rest of the article pretty much makes it clear that anyone to the right of that Chui guy running for
    Chi-town mayor is just not acceptable.

  51. I keep waiting for a Reason thread about the Iran nukes deal. I’m just trying to figure out exactly when the Senate is scheduled to vote on this treaty.

    If there had been a provision in the “framework” protecting the right of gay people to Iranian wedding cakes or pizza, I’m sure Reason would have been all over it.

    I guess we’ll have to wait for a socon Republican to say something stupid about Iran, and then I’m sure that’ll be considered sufficiently important by Reason staff to graduate from a bullet point in AM links.

    1. The deal (which hasn’t been formally approved yet) is such a giant, stinking turd that not even Reason can help polish it for Obama.

      1. IowaHawk had a great one liner on that. We can totally trust anything Iran says except when they talk about destroying Israel. Then they are just joking around.

    2. My understanding is this deal doesn’t require Obama to go to Congress except to get the sanctions lifted.

      So he already has an excuse if the deal goes south.

  52. Are You Smarter Than a DoubleX Writer? Find Out With This Week’s News Quiz.

    It’s not an April Fool’s joke for some baffling reason.

    1. Apparently, yes, I am smarter than a retard from Slate.

      1. I had faith in you. I was the wing beneath your wings. When you saw only one set of footprints, I was giving you a piggyback ride.

        1. I was giving you a piggyback ride.

          Is that what we’re calling it now?

          1. Wondering why your butt hurts?

  53. MSNBC discovers LBJ was racist; makes excuses for it:

    http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/lyn…..hts-racism

    Johnson spent the late 1940s railing against the “hordes of barbaric yellow dwarves” in East Asia. Buying into the stereotype that blacks were afraid of snakes (who isn’t afraid of snakes?) he’d drive to gas stations with one in his trunk and try to trick black attendants into opening it. Once, Caro writes, the stunt nearly ended with him being beaten with a tire iron.

    classy guy

    1. Next thing you know we’ll find out Thomas Jefferson owned slaves!

      1. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

        CAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

      2. Bo, don’t you think it’s noteworthy that a so-called civil right hero was a racist bastard and that this fact has been repeatedly buried? Rand Paul got pilloried for saying the 1964 CRA went too far, but you hardly ever hear about what a racist the bill’s author was.

        1. When anyone on the left is criticized here it is Bo’s first reaction to say “but, but, but the nasty (SoCons, Republicans, Tea Partiers, Right to Lifers, Right wingers, Reason commentators) did it too.”

          The mask slips more every post. He really is just a concern troll for the progressives.

          1. Because he is a concern troll. He like Tony and Shreek never shows up on the threads that involve nonpartisan issues. You never see him on a movie thread or a dead puppy thread or any of the hundreds of other threads that don’t concern team red versus team blue. He only shows up on the partisan threads and he always says some variation of “the hit and run republicans are just picking on team blue” or “but the nasty team red people are just as bad”. It is his entire act.

            1. He did show in the Easter egg thread but that was to troll Warty. I think Bo is secretly in love with Warty the way he follows him around. He’s like a 8 year old little boy pulling the pigtails of the girl in front of him in class.

              1. Remember the Garbage Pail Kids?

                Huh. Not sure why i just thought of that.

    2. “I’ll have those niggers voting Democratic for the next 200 years.”

      “These Negroes, they’re getting pretty uppity these days and that’s a problem for us since they’ve got something now they never had before, the political pull to back up their uppityness. Now we’ve got to do something about this, we’ve got to give them a little something, just enough to quiet them down, not enough to make a difference.”

      JBJ – The Civil Rights Hero of the left

    3. LBJ was about buying votes, anyway he could. Pure and simple.

  54. I know I shouldn’t have, but I clicked on SugarFree’s link and got sucked into Slate’s derp.

    I did find this gem though.

    Q. Sister Married Her Statutory Rapist: Eight years ago, when we were both in high school, I discovered my sister was sleeping with her English teacher. I told my parents, but our English teacher was 22, and she convinced them it was true love. My parents declined to press charges as long as the relationship went on hold until my sister turned 18. I didn’t agree and told my principal and the cops; the teacher went to jail. My sister’s now married to him and has never forgiven me for turning her husband in, especially since he’s now a registered sex offender. They have a daughter, and if it weren’t for their relationship’s origins, I would say he’s a great husband and father. I miss my sister so much. I’m not welcome in my niece’s life. My parents are tired of the rift between us. Did I make a mistake? How can I repair our bond?

    1. How old was the sister? It seems to me that if she was 17, this is yet another example of America’s idiotic statutory rape laws imprisoning someone who didn’t deserve it.

      Now, if she were 14…that would be a slightly different situation.

      Either way, the idea that someone can end up for life on the sex offender registry for having consensual sex with his future wife is grotesque.

      1. They were both in high school. That means she was at least 14 and probably older. She ended up marrying the guy. There was only at most 8 years age difference. This guy is a putz who likely has some weird and unhealthy attachment to his sister.

        1. There’s a historical term for a 22 year old man fucking a 17 year old girl. What is it, I forget…Oh yes, I remember now. It’s called COMPLETELY NORMAL.

          1. Yes. The guy was 22. If he had been in his 50s and married with kids older than her, i could totally see it skeeving her family and brother out. But he was just out of college. I would rather have my 17 year old daughter dating a guy in college with a job than some jackass 17 year old with tattoos and his pants down over his ass.

            1. John, It was only the brother who had an issue. The parents just said for them to quit fucking until she was 18. He’s lucky his parents don’t treat him like his sister does.

              1. Why do you guys keep saying brother?

              2. Why do you guys keep saying brother?

                1. Why do I keep saying brother? Holy fucked website, reason…

                2. Maybe it was her sister. The point however doesn’t change.

          2. I am so thankful that I am not dating my wife today. Since when we started dating she was 16 and I was 21. That was 25 years ago. And today that would land me on the Sexual Predator for Life list. What a fucked up place to be young today.

            1. I am so thankful that I am not dating my wife today.

              Sounds like she’d be way too old for ya.

              1. Good point. She wears me out right now. She would hurt me badly if she was 25 years younger.

          3. In my youth (Ohio late 70’s- early 80’s) a 17 yr old was “jailbait”.

    2. Well for starters you can allow your brother in law to arrange for you to be anally raped multiple times, as that almost certainly happened to him when he was behind bars.

      Then you can give them at least half your paycheck for the rest of your life to make up for the fact that you have now prevented him from ever having a career

    3. My sister’s now married to him and has never forgiven me for turning her husband in, especially since he’s now a registered sex offender.

      Weird. I wonder why?

    4. What’s irrefutable is that the teacher was breaking the law, and once this became known, society said he had to pay a price for his crime. There’s no defense for a high school teacher, even one only five years older than his students, to have sex with a student. You took action that the adults in your life refused to take by blowing the whistle on someone who was a potential serial predator.

      “The law is the law!” Fuck you, Prudie, you hag. People like her are disgusting.

      1. He doesn’t think that. I think he just has fucked up feelings for his sister.

        1. That’s Prudie saying that. I.e., you ruined this guy’s life, there was no good reason to and it did no good whatsoever, but the law is the law, so you did the right thing. It’s a truly disgusting attitude.

          1. That is a shame. I really like Emily Yoffe. Disappointing to see her give such an idiotic answer.

        2. Why do you guys keep saying brother?

          1. Was the teacher black?

            1. Why do you guys keep saying brother?

      2. “Soh-sigh-ettie said he had to pay a price” (because women, especially young ones, are always gullible dupes of penis-carrying powerholders, and thus they never have any agency in relationships).

        “Potential serial predator” (even as events proved that woefully wrong, you’ve prevented Future Crime!).

        “Laws are only words, words written on paper, words that change on society’s whim and are interpreted differently daily by politicians, lawyers, judges, and policemen. Anyone who believes that all laws should always be obeyed would have made a fine slave catcher. Anyone who believes that all laws are applied equally, despite race, religion, or economic status, is a fool.”

        John J. Miller, And Hope to Die (in Jokertown Shuffle Wild Cards IX)

    5. i have heard of a few school districts putting an age limit on new teachers to 25 or older for these reasons. Can’t remember where though. It is odd to me to think some 22 year old is mature enough to begin to handle kids of that age. But what the fuck?

  55. ? ? ? ? LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY ? ? ? ? ?
    My friend’s step-sister makes $72 /hour on the computer . She has been unemployed for ten months but last month her pay check was $14639 just working on the computer for a few hours. Pop over to this web-site ??????? http://www.jobsfish.com

  56. my friend’s step-aunt makes $73 hourly on the internet . She has been out of a job for seven months but last month her income was $19815 just working on the internet for a few hours. pop over to this web-site….,
    ??????? http://www.work-reviews.com

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