Free-Range Kids

Parents Must Sign Permission Slip Before Kids Can Eat Oreos

They are double stuff, after all.

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There are 18-wheelers with brake problems, hungry bears just stumbling out of hibernation, and lawnmowers that suddenly shift into reverse. And then there's the unparalleled danger of Double Stuf Oreos. Thank goodness this teacher requires parents to sign off on cookie consumption—if they dare.

A screenshot of the permission slip comes from Twitter mom Main Line Housewife in Pennsylvania. Check it out below:

NEXT: What Do New Yorkers and Utahns Have in Common? Distrust of the Feds.

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  1. WTMFF??

  2. In this case, I don’t blame the teacher. Some parents would probably faint if they found out their precious darlings consumed “junk food” at school.

    1. Yep, or God forbid some kid was diabetic or had an allergy to something in the cookies but decided to eat one anyway. CYA.

      1. Just wait until the FLOTUS Goons hear about this! Cookies in School?!

        1. Yep. Looks like somebody’s gonna lose federal funding.

      2. Apparently doctors are totes cool with diabetics eating sugar these days. They’d love it if you tried to keep it below 300g carbs per day, but we understand that’s hard.

      3. If you know anything at all about kids in this age range, the ones who said that they couldn’t have them, would be slipped a cookie from the kids that get them all of the time.

        They learn early to be subversive. Parents trying to control them to such a degree, no longer have any control at all about their diets once they start spending time in school away from parents. My kids were always really honest about this stuff, would come home and report who did what. It’s like handing a kid the list of ‘things that you can do to rebel against me’.

        And they’ll certainly get support, as other kids think that the kid is being deprived and will support them in rebelling. They’ll not only fork out cookies, they’ll buy them for each other.

        There are some uber controlling mothers who are eventually going to get a rude awakening.

    2. This. There is this one mom of a kid in my son’s pre-school that always brings the gluten free/organic/whatever “healthy” diet trend is that week snacks to the parties they have. She would lose her mind.

      1. Wonder what her kid will think of her mom when all of his friends are eating oreo cookies, while he is not allowed to.

        I’m betting that kid will come to see his mom as the control freak she is and resent all control freaks for it.

        1. Wonder what her kid will think of her mom when all of his friends are eating oreo cookies, while he is not allowed to.

          Did you just transgender that kid?

          1. Blockquote fail.

            – 10 Oreos

          2. snip, snip

      2. Oreos are vegan.

        …. I said, as I plopped my cellophane-wrapped package onto the snacks table with others’ idea of “snacks”: the eggplant lasagna with balsamic dressing, yogurt-covered acai berries, free trade coffee.

        Beat those fuckers at their own game.

      3. And this will be the kid that trades with others when he’s in grammar school. He’ll eat enough Oreos to sink a ship.

    3. I agree. God forbid parents take any responsibility for informing the school of anything. Nope, it is up to the school to cater to them by screwing everyone else.

    4. Isn’t it better then to avoid using cookies?

      1. I only learn with the aid of cookies.

        …and boobies.

      2. No. Wouldn’t it be better if you stopped playing the PC game? Dummy.

    5. Oreos are laden with transfat and refined sugar. They do not make a contribution to a healthy diet, so I pretty much agree with the teacher. However, the parent would have to be a real prick not to sign off unless kid was diabetic or something.

      1. It’s one cookie. 40 calories. 16 of them from fat. 7 gram of carbs. One gram of fat is 9 calories.

        It’s not even a blip on the nutritional radar screen of an active kid.

      2. Transfats AND refined sugar??! The monsters!

      3. Actually I just checked the Nabisco website and Oreos have been trans fat free since 2006. So not only do they provide 2 of the essential food groups-the all important chocolate cookie food group and the ‘weird white frosting that I couldn’t duplicate in my kitchen without a PhD in Chemistry’ food group, but they are trans fat free. (LOL). Michael Pollan once wrote ‘never eat anything that makes a health claim’ by which he meant that by jiggering their ingredients “Big Food” can make inappropriate claims. Thus,the pear (which is not standardized) sits unadorned in the produce aisle while in the cereal aisle “Sugar-O’s” is labelled “now with whole grains!”.

    6. Yes. Trying to make an issue of this shows how foolish the “Reason” staff is.

  3. “Without a signed form, your child will be othered.”

    1. No kidding. Imagine sitting there with nothing watching everyone else eating the most delicious food on the planet (to a kid). It would be like a mental wedgie. Just give all the kids a damn oreo and don’t say anything.

      I forgot a permission slip once in the third grade. Didn’t get to go to the Hershhorn museum in DC. I felt pretty shitty about it sitting all day in the school, but then I found out everyone who went had to write a paper about the art so it all worked out for the best in the end .

      1. I disagree. I distinctly recall the most delicious food on the planet as being Nutter Butters, followed very closely by Star Crunches. Little Debbie and I had kind of a thing in my single-digits.

        1. Yes! Nutter Butters are the best!

        2. And Nutter Butters had a catchy jingle.

  4. You have to get your parents’ permission to eat an oreo cookie. But they will give you a condom, teach you how to properly do sodomy or let you get an abortion no permission or even notification of your parents needed.

    Our society has gone insane.

    1. But they will give you a condom, teach you how to properly do sodomy

      I must have slept through that sex ed class.

      1. You never had the new classes.

        1. How long until someone introduces a lab practical to the curriculum?

          1. Were are they going to get all the bodies?

            1. Sexbots of course

          2. As soon as they come up with a consent form for the post-coital cigarette/snacks.

          3. You’ll need a permission slip to swallow.

        2. 10 years ago I was in 9th grade sex ed at a high school in Southern California.

          Sex ed consisted of understanding the biological, how contraceptives work, and then scaring us into celibacy with graphic lessons on veneral disease.

          1. No birth video?

            1. Triggering to teen moms.

          2. “10 years ago I was in 9th grade”

            YES! I’m not the youngest one here!

          3. In my sex ed class (which they didn’t call it as such, I believe so they wouldn’t have to get permission slips it was like “social issues” or some vague BS) we didn’t learn how contraceptives work but our teacher talked about lingerie and her pubic hair and she was in her 40s, so it may have had the same effect.

            1. oh and I’m older than GMSM, but my HS was fairly progressive.

        3. I have no idea what a sex ed class is like these days. Do you have anything to support the idea that what you describe is common? It seems like people were worrying about the same crap 20 years ago when I was in high school and I never got any instruction on sodomy and condoms.

          I do pretty much agree that public school sex ed should be limited to what is appropriate for a biology class. Maybe a bit more about sexual health at the high school level. The notion that schools need to be and do everything for young people is a dangerous one manifesting itself in all sorts of ways. Kids seem to be able to figure out sex pretty well without formal instruction.

          1. I’m pretty sure they hand out condoms now, or at least demonstrate how to use one.

            Sodomy …. is probably a bit of a stretch.

            1. especially if you’re the catcher!!

    2. One day I heard my then 12 year old son teaching my daughter about heroin. He knew a *lot*. He knew things I didn’t know!

      I asked him where he got this info. “From D.A.R.E.”

      Thanks drug warriors!

      1. Fun Fact, Heroin lost it’s trademark status in the US as part of German war reparations.

      2. That is where I learned most of what I know about drugs. I also like how the local news stations are sure to tell people where you can find hookers in town and what the latest and greatest new street drug is.

      3. In my school, they changed the grade in which DARE was done so that my class never had it. Then when I was in 8th grade, I guess they decided they should do something about drugs with us. But apparently they figured we were all already too far gone for the drug propaganda to work (which was largely true), so they just had a cop come in and tell us that we would get arrested if we did drugs.

      4. They had me watch a video called “Drugs are like that.”

        Recently, I saw that same video mocked by the MST crew.

        http://www.rifftrax.com/drugs-are-like-that

        Oh, and it was narrated by Anita Bryant:

        http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0484972/

      5. I did what my school called “enrichment”, which was basically an extra class, mostly for smarty pantsed students. However, the class I was in was about alcohol and drugs. Maybe they identified me as somehow being “high risk” (I was as square as they come. Way more square than John here).

        Anyway, they showed us all kinds of alcohol advertising from grown-up magazines like GQ. I suppose that was in order for us to be on our guard or something. Except those Bailey’s ads of what appeared to be chocolate milk splashing into a glass only made me want to see if my parents’ liquor cabinet contained a bottle of the stuff.

    3. Well, improperly performed sodomy can cause some real harm. It’s a valuable life skill.

    4. You have to get your parents’ permission to eat an oreo cookie. But they will give you a condom, teach you how to properly do sodomy or let you get an abortion no permission or even notification of your parents needed.

      Our society has gone insane.

      Agreed. 13 year old girls can get an abortion without even informing her parents she was ever pregnant, but eat an Oreo? No. Fucking. Way.

      If only the liberal establishment could see itself in a mirror.

      1. Honestly I’m more bothered by the Oreo thing than the abortion thing. I don’t think parents should be able to force their daughters to bear children. And outside of that situation, I don’t think many 13 year olds will want to avoid involving their parents in that situation.

  5. It’s the result of the allergy and anti-obesity movements constructively interfering.

    School wouldn’t be school without silly forms.

  6. “Keep a copy for your records.”

  7. The final sentence is hilarious.

    What are you going to do, o teacher?

    “This form proves you understood when you walked in that you couldn’t eat the cookie. Now stop crying!”

    1. You are clueless. The teacher is protecting themselves from being accused of giving their kids junk food.

  8. I love this. One kid in this class is going to learn right now that his or her mom (no dad would deny his kid an Oreo) is a stick in the mud and everyone else’s mom is cool. If he already knows it, he gets to learn a new skill – forgery.

    1. One of my favorite episodes of Beavis and Butthead was the one when they tried to forge notes from their parents. Butthead’s note said “let em do it” signed “Buttheads mom”. Beavis’ note just said “yeah”.

      1. They stole that from Epstein in Welcome Back, Kotter. Every time Epstein handed in a note it was signed “Epstein’s Mother”. Now, whether WBK stole it from Patty Duke or something…..

    2. Or alternatively when his parents look like a “stick in the mud” that they will eventually choose to give their personal power to the state or powers that be. Little children must learn that the “state” knows best for them. After all, it is the state that “cares enough” to demand they get those parental permission slips.

    3. I snuck our 7yr old (boy) a pack of Nutterbudders, the good ones, 2 in a pack, with his lunch last week. I do this frequently as Mom is, you know all, annoying about that stuff.
      Mom found out and bitched me out.
      I felt good. I knew I did the right thing, and that boy will appreciate his old man a little more when hes older.

  9. That is not dead which can eternal lie,
    And with strange aeons even death may die.
    Without a signed permission slip, my child understands ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.

  10. DeER sKoul

    fUCK off aND Doo UR JERBS and stop bothering me with this crap.

    SiNSEERILY,

    RUFUS

    1. I hate Bryant Gumbel no matter what race he is.

  11. WTF? This teacher is telling kids the earth is flat.

      1. two helpings…they’re double stuffed you know

    1. It’s Oreos all the way down.

    2. Yeah, he/she should be demo’ing with Cadbury Creme Eggs!

  12. My mother in law brought some Oreos back from her trip in England.

    They taste different. Good though.

    1. Canadian Oreos are the best. So much fresher and richer tasting. They even look better.

  13. There is only one reason why such inane rules/permissions are being seen increasingly in our schools. Our smallest, most vulnerable little ones must learn and will learn that EVERYTHING in their life is to be regulated by government. There will be no exceptions and the sooner this is learned the better for the state. Yes, it looks ostensibly as if this is about parental choice but it is just another ploy to teach that they are subject to the whims of political powers and must walk and think in lockstep by what is “allowed” and “dictated.”

    1. Freedom means following orders and asking permission.

    2. Actually, ***THIS*** here is the NEWEST of the new, sex ed! How we should ALL get fucked by Government Almighty, all day, every day! You must be SAFE at all times, whether you like it, or not!

    3. Well, another likely reason is that one bat-crap crazy parent went insane and sued everyone in sight last year. Last year, they used not-organic popcorn to help discuss wind resistance and let the kids eat the leftovers after the experiment. (or some ridiculous crap like that).

      1. Oops, I guess I should have read a bit farther down. great minds think alike

    1. Not to toot my own horn or anything but I posted this, like, last week.

      /self hat tip.

      Seriously. That guy is funny.

      1. but I don’t think all his stuff is meant to be funny.

        There are a bunch of videos like that one, and then a bunch where he appears to be quite serious about being a sensitive, healing, beta.

        of course, he may simply be that good.

  14. No one needs that much cream.

    1. Just kidding. Double Stuff is the only kind of Oreo I recognize.

      1. They have double size Reese’s cups now. They are like taking a heaping tablespoon full of PB and dipping it in chocolate. Damn good stuff. It’s probably illegal to bring them within 500 feet of a school.

        1. commerce clause!!!

    2. Ban high-capacity cookies!

      1. You can’t have a back pack that holds more than 10 Oreo’s

  15. I’m going to guess the teacher is trying to protect herself from (a) lawsuits and/or (b) angry mothers screaming that she’s poisoning their children.

    I expect that I might to the same in the teacher’s place.

    1. ^^ This

      We were going to hear about this situation today, no matter what. The only thing is, whose side would we have heard? If the teacher hadn’t sent the note, we would be reading about some dumbass parent all butt mad about a cookie because sugar… gluten… something, I don’t know. What FLOTUS is saying is the new enemy. I block her out cause she reminds me of a sqwaking bird in the worst imaginable way.

    2. Likewise agreed. The teacher wants to do something fun and hands-on, great. She wants to protect herself against complaints, and as others have noted there may be concerns about allergies etc. in addition to parental concerns.

      That is, anytime you have school children eating in science class, it strikes me as advisable to give a heads-up…

      Also, because it’s for learning science, I would think some parents who would object to their kids eating junk food might make an exception in this case, so the kids get to have Oreos without needing to surreptitiously trade for them with other students.

  16. Excuse me, but as a member of the Unified Church if the Sacred Protein, we feel that the Great Carb is the greatest threat to our child’s spiritual well-being. So NO, I don’t want my child eating the Oreo Cookie. In fact, if you people knew what was best for you, you would burn all of the Oreo cookies in a giant bonfire and roast a goat over it.

    Thank you.

    1. oreo crusted goat…mmmmm good

    2. Apparently, Doritos are the best for roasting goats.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zNYtdHPhpQ

  17. This has more to do with food allergies than obesity or junk food. Some kids have severe food allergies, including mine (peanuts!). That situation requires reading the ingredients on everything and not allowing anything that him to eat anything that is homemade. All food packaging must say whether it contains the most common allergens: peanuts, tree nuts, soy, milk, wheat, etc. or manufactured on equipment that processes those things or in a place that processes those things. That info is bolded after the list of ingredients. After short awhile, it becomes second nature to read the ingredients, which is made easier by a gov regulation that actually works.

    The main problem I’ve run into with the schools is that either they are illiterate or lazy or simply don’t want to take any responsibility for reading the ingredients on these foods. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked whether my son can eat x, y or z. My response is always the same: “What are the ingredients?” Their response is always “I don’t know.” It makes me want to pull my hair out. Read. The. Packaging.

    1. tell your precious snowflake not to eat nuts, only the food you supply…

      1. Yeah, I don’t understand why normal kids have to suffer for the one allergic kid. (And I also don’t understand why everyone is allergic to everything all of sudden.)

        1. Everyone is allergic to everything because they’ve not been exposed to it in the normal course, as most of us older folk were. NPR recently aired a story about a peanut allergy study that said “The researchers found that those who consumed the equivalent of about 4 heaping teaspoons of peanut butter each week, starting when they were between 4 and 11 months old, were about 80 percent less likely to develop a peanut allergy by their fifth birthday.” http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesa…..-allergies

          Overprotective parents are causing this shit.

          1. Most kids I see on my morning commute through the rural mid-west are allergic to walking down the driveway to wait for the oppression wagon. Dagnabit, in my day..etc.

          2. Not disagreeing with your point, but 4 heaping teaspoons of peanut butter to a 4 mo. old seems like a step in the wrong direction.

            If not for the choking, gagging, or vomiting, then because, even if consumed successfully, I can’t imagine digestion goes over so well.

          3. Honestly, if a parent has an extreme allergic reaction to peanuts, they should be hesitant to introduce peanuts to their kids. It’s not being overprotective; it’s commonsense.

            Even with this study, if I have a severe allergy to anything, I would be extremely careful introducing it to my child.

      2. Or be a fucking parent, teach your kid to read, and let him figure out for himself it he can/can’t eat peanuts.

        Most kids develop these skills around the age of 3-4. 2 of the 3 boys have drank 1/2 gal. of apple juice in a single day and they both know better now.

        If fear of death doesn’t motivate your kid to zealotry, being zealous on their behalf doesn’t solve the problem.

        1. ^This. I’ve got a lactose-intolerant kid. Nothing got through his thick skull until I told him, fine. FINE. Eat milk with your cereal, and cheese in your sandwich, and then you go right ahead and have some chocolate milk as a snack. FINE. We’ve got a spare bathroom.

          Kid figures it out pretty quick when he realizes it’s his own arse on the line.

    2. Yeah, all those “allergies” you’ve described are made up.

    3. I’m not saying that food allergies are complete fiction. I know someone who is ACTUALLY gluten intolerant.

      But I find it “interesting” that no one I knew growing was allergic to peanuts, yet now it’s so pervasive that even my kid’s private school sends home constant reminders that the entire school is peanut free.

      1. I was on a flight back from Canada (Delta) a few months back when they announced that they would not be serving peanuts on the plane because some passenger had an allergy.

        UnFuckingBelievable.

      2. I think that it’s quite likely that our allergy/dirt/germ avoidance attempts are creating allergies.

        1. I wouldn’t doubt that at all.

        2. IDK, I ascribe some of it to creeping statism/credentialism.

          I can remember when allergy = anaphylaxis. Now, allergy = headache + runny nose on same spring day. Between that, the NIAID, and the rising prevalence of ‘sub-clinical’ B.S. people with government jobs or credentialed occupations are working on ways to carve out a living as well, IMO.

      3. I met a guy who was legitimately allergic to gluten back in 2000 or so (along with a whole long list of other things; when I asked what would happen if he ate anything on that list, his response: “mild indigestion to fiery water coming out my ass for three days”). I thought it must have sucked to be have, of all things, an allergy to WHEAT, because it’s in so many things.

        Fast forward a decade…

  18. If he can’t follow the direction, he’s too young/stupid to be let out of your sight and should be homeschooled until he can.

  19. do they also need permission to exhale CO2

    1. I wouldn’t be surprised to see a tax based on the average output of CO2 for a person’s age and body weight added at some point.

      1. It’ll be metered, you have to wear a mask at all times to measure it (and capture excess)

  20. This is the insanity that is liberalism. Require a permission slip for aspirin and Oreos, but they have no problem with giving sex ed to 3rd graders, passing out condoms, or counseling high school girls on abortion, all without a parents consent.

    1. You can’t be sued for handing out condoms or advising abortion. That is the real problem here.

  21. This is the kind of thing that happens when you allow the inmates to run the asylum.

  22. Won’t the kids who can’t eat Oreos (or, as I call them, Hydroxes) feel bad? No one should have Oreos.

  23. If it was me, I’d tell my kid, “Screw the permission slip. Here’s an Oreo. Put it in your pocket, and when the teacher tells you you can’t eat the Oreo, take this one out and eat it anyway — and say your dad said you could.

    If you wind up in trouble, tell them to call me at this number, and say that I advised you to rebel against this retarded slip.”

    Two of my kids would think that was cool and do it, the oldest one would look horrified at bucking authority like that.

  24. This seems very peculiar. I could understand a concern for possible allergens, but if so there should be a specific form with a list of ingredients for every meal provided by schools (even though the Black Queen insists that such meals include no food that children will actually eat). Come to think of it, that would be a great way of tying up a government program in its own red tape.

  25. Reason #387 to home school.

  26. Mrs. Porter, have you always been a douchebag, or did you acquire your douchebagginess recently?

    1. Mrs. Porter may be required by the school district to write such letters.

      She may not have any choice.

      Like I said, reason #387 to home school.

      If the school district is making rules over stupid stuff like that, what else is in that stupid rule book of theirs?

  27. I’m not sure what type of neighborhood I stumbled into here (but I’m sure I’ll find out pretty quickly).

    May I suggest that this has it’s roots in liberalism…go ahead and roll your eyes if you want; however, it is my opinion that when in college many people drank the Marxist cool-aid that “God is dead and capitalism is the biggest blight on planet earth”.

    Once this misguided ethos is embraced, there seems to be a craving to be “righteous” in some manner so they become “self” righteous Pharisees (just like those who they loathe).

    Their new but very unsatisfying god becomes the environment (after all, it has the magical ability of evolving from a really large explosion of “nothing”) and they scold and vilify those who believe that cholesterol and eating animals is the equivalency of sleeping with one’s neighbors wife (since they think that’s o.k. with our new morality)….until the rest of us graciously point them back to their dusty Bibles where morality is not upside-down, we will continue down this road of insanity.

    The God that is currently keeping their hearts beating is allowing them to make embarrassing fools of themselves and they can’t even see it at this point in their rebellion…oh boy, can’t wait for the “who are you to pass judgement on others”? stuff…before pounding the tar out of your keyboard with the veins in your necks bulging, stop to look at how much inflexible “dogma” and contempt that liberals churn out daily…o.k.,… ready set “type”.

    1. I think it’s more about the Music Man.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qam1fbQmA_s

      Fear makes it easy to manipulate people

      The thing people are most afraid of is something bad happening to their children.

      School districts and politicians have spent so much time and effort over the years scaring the shit out of parents in an attempt to manipulate them, that you can’t even give their kids an Oreo anymore without it scaring some of them completely shitless.

      Fear is the mind-killer.

      That’s mostly what’s going on here.

    2. Don’t worry, take a big breath, your confusion will clear up momentarily.

      People here will agree and disagree with your view-point, but not for the reasons you expect. Stick around 🙂

  28. I’m not sure what type of neighborhood I stumbled into here (but I’m sure I’ll find out pretty quickly).

    May I suggest that this has it’s roots in liberalism…go ahead and roll your eyes if you want; however, it is my opinion that when in college many people drank the Marxist cool-aid that “God is dead and capitalism is the biggest blight on planet earth”.

    Once this misguided ethos is embraced, there seems to be a craving to be “righteous” in some manner so they become “self” righteous Pharisees (just like those who they loathe).

    Their new but very unsatisfying god becomes the environment (after all, it has the magical ability of evolving from a really large explosion of “nothing”) and they scold and vilify those who believe that cholesterol and eating animals is the equivalency of sleeping with one’s neighbors wife (since they think that’s o.k. with our new morality)….until the rest of us graciously point them back to their dusty Bibles where morality is not upside-down, we will continue down this road of insanity.

    The God that is currently keeping their hearts beating is allowing them to make embarrassing fools of themselves and they can’t even see it at this point in their rebellion…oh boy, can’t wait for the “who are you to pass judgement on others”? stuff…before pounding the tar out of your keyboard with the veins in your necks bulging, stop to look at how much inflexible “dogma” and contempt that liberals churn out daily…o.k.,… ready set “type”.

  29. Thank goodness, this story had nothing to do about the racial divide!

    1. Seriously?

      Oreo — noun, plural Oreos. Slang: Disparaging and Offensive.
      1. a black person who is regarded as having adopted the attitudes, values, and behavior thought to be characteristic of middle-class white society, often at the expense of his or her own heritage.

      1. If they’re studying the earth, wouldn’t an eggplant have a more appropriate shape?

  30. Before everyone here rips on the school districts and demands home schooling, please understand!!!

    I guarantee you that when they did this before some liberal do-gooder parent complained that their precious little non-vaccinated child was fed poison by the evil corporate agricultural conglomerate!

    The teacher and the school don’t care about the Oreos! This whole thing is CYA because of litigious liberals.

  31. Eating food used in lab experiments? In a freaking laboratory?

    Throw it out – the letter should have told parents they were using food that kids munch on, for an experiment and to instruct their kids NOT to eat any of the food after the experiment is over and that the school will not assume any responsibility for illness that may arise from consumption of the cookies in a laboratory where surfaces of the lab tables and handling of the food might make it dangerous to eat.

    If you do not wish your child to participate, tell your kid to stay home.

  32. Start working from home! Great job for students, stay-at-home moms or anyone needing an extra income… You only need a computer and a reliable internet connection… Make $90 hourly and up to $12000 a month by following link at the bottom and signing up… You can have your first check by the end of this week………………….

    http://www.Jobsyelp.com

    1. You can’t fool me. You made that money selling crack.

      1. Make $90/hr selling Double Stuffed Oreos to grade school children…

  33. I’m going to say it: any parent who doesn’t sign that (unless there’s a legitimate health reason as to why the kid shouldn’t eat Oreos) is a bad parent.

    Seriously, though, I wish my school taught me plate movement using Oreos.

  34. They CAN however, get as many condoms as they wish without parental consent.

  35. Your child may consume the OREO cookie.

    Your child is forbidden to consume the Hydrox cookie.

  36. Holy fucking shit! Those Oreos aren’t manufactured in a facility that processes tree nuts are they?!

  37. Won’t it be considered racist for Negro children to handling Oreos?

  38. Any parent that allows their child to remain in this school is unfit.

  39. So,all girls are allowed to purchase and use, the morning after pill, without parental consent parental notification, or even a doctor’s prescription..

    Kids as young as 11 allowed to be diagnosed and medically treated for STD’s, without parental consent or notification.

    Yet, the parent has to give approval for an oreo?

    The patients are definitely running the asylum known as America. And we all know who the head loon is.

  40. Who b callin’ me Oreo, cracka?

  41. This seems to be a legitimate request. I don’t see what all the hubbub is about? Yes, the teacher could have used something other than cookies to represent tectonic plates, but if she supplies the cookies then legally she does have to get permission from the student’s parents.

    This what you get when our society fell through the litigious black hole where everyone tries to sue everyone else for perceived infractions.

  42. I do not blame the school one bit. if one of the kids goes home and tells the parents they had an oreo, the answer from some parents would be “I didn’t give you an oreo, who did”. Then the parents would be calling the school to complain. Sadly, the school has to protect themselves.

  43. I actually don’t have an issue with this. Yes it is a bit over the top but I would rather have the school ask too often than just do what they please. I wish they would send one of these permission slips before doing one of their lessons gushing about FDR’s sheer awesomeness. Or saving that a trigger warning would be nice.

  44. Planned Parenthood, the ACLU, O/Dem/Libs, NOW etc, fight tooth and nail all the way up to SCOTUS to keep parents from having to consent to their little girls having an abortion, but eating an Oreo cookie? Is “US” upside down or what?!

  45. I have to wonder if it was really the teacher’s idea for the permission slip or if some administrator with too much free time one their hands forced the teacher to send home a permission slip?

  46. I can understand the perspective from parents/teachers. I was a fairly healthy child, but when double stuffed oreos came out, I went from eating one at a time to eating a whole box(-y thingy) with a carton of milk in one sitting. These things should be listed as schedule 1 (except that there is probably some medical value to them).

  47. Quite frankly, I think the ‘riskier’ thing about this is all of the sweet dumplings who can’t partake in the snack. How will that make them feel? Will they be bullied, emotionally traumatized? If the child can’t eat the snack, will the teacher have a ‘healthier’ option on hand so they don’t feel left out?? Which is what some granola mom is going to ask for poor Gavin’s sake. And then call him by his full name (Gavin Muse) and ask him if he would like almond butter in French.

    Parents are giving their kids a real reason to murder and cook their bodies now a days. I swear to God, I’ve never seen so many unhappy children than the children of today whose parents try soooo hard to keep them happy. The kids are so overworked emotionally! They get into the best preschool, best school and do swimming, lacrosse, softball, piano, dance, and 12 summer camps. Stop trying to make your kid a 38 year old phd Jewish NY city intellectual when they’re 4. If tedious behavior and simply pleasures drive you insane, don’t have kids! Every time my little cousin comes to visit-my parents turn off the tv and stick him outside so he can pee and run around naked, shouting and making shit. And it kills my cousin that he isn’t a French intellectual and has poor social skills. Maybe it’s because ipads can only do so much?

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